If Republicans Said the Quiet Parts Loud About the Bible

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#politicalcomedy #skit #sketchcomedy

[@LeftyConspirator]

If you carry this on much longer, you risk actually getting elected.

[@jonberle3395]

LOL 😂😂😂 that is so true!

[@sndchamp9949]

One more vid he’ll be voted in as a Tennessee representative

[@justaguy6100]

As immune to irony as the modern RW voter is today, he's a sure bet.

[@caseycooper5615]

Steve even got all the parts af making great speeches. Start quiet, then work of to a crescendo, then suddenly get quiet and solemn. Work of a crescendo, followed a quick quiet part, then end with a semi-crescendo. I almost forgot he said the quiet (true) parts. This is the blackest of humor and I loved it

[@tgdomnemo5052]

darn, that was my line 😳 😆👊🏼😆 🖖🏼

[@Blakblooded]

The ultimate irony is if a Republican actually gave this speech they would get a standing ovation and the crowd would start chanting "We're good! We're right!"

[@jordansean18]

*cue the music from the season finale of The Boys*

[@seeleunit2000]

Yeah, pretty much

[@StormsparkPegasus]

Yeah, this was a little too on the nose. They would take this literally and completely unironically as support.

[@NovaSaber]

Only if it was Trump. (Who's honestly the main one I can think of who really thinks this way anyway. MOST of the pandering-to-the-religious conservatives are genuinely religious extremists. Mike Johnson, for example, is a creationist associated with Ken Ham.)

[@timothylopez8572]

An infallible being is a god. Who paints himself GOLD not orange. The personification of every deadly sin. Created unholy consecrated ground by burying his ex wife, who he assaulted, cheated on with a adult actress, on his golf resort for tax benefits. AKA the actual Antichrist. Obvious LUCIFERIANS constantly call for the mass televised executions of ethnic and religious minorities, LGBTQ people and political opposition, specifically to condemn them to hell, is quite literally just sacrificing people to the devil. Christ teaches salvation, not damnation.

[@benjbk]

My favorite part of the bible is the bit where Jesus makes fun of the people who show off their religiosity in public to get a special place in society.

[@seanlahm4826]

Matthew 6. But they never seem to like that part of the Bible. Or have never read it in the first place.

[@victornieves1794]

@@seanlahm4826They only read and memorize the parts that reinforce their beliefs, the beliefs of their sheep followers, justify their wrongdoings, and verses they can use to manipulate ignorant people.

[@misspatvandriverlady7555]

I like the bits where Peter is making an absolute @$$ of himself but still gets to be the first Pope! 😅

[@douglascutler1037]

I'm still partial to the talking donkey but yeah, your fav is top drawer irony, for sure.

[@ameliaannhouck2670]

JESUS LAUGHED !

[@kpk1958]

What were the "quite" parts? This sounded too much like a typical MAGA republican speech.

[@outermarker5801]

The quiet parts is the politician telling them what he really thinks..of _them._

[@Meow_Zedong]

He's talking about the Republicans that still try to convince people they are not secretly demons wearing skin suits. It's the Republicans that rub elbows with Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, and Chuck Schumer.

[@repelsteeltje90]

​@@outermarker5801have you heard of a thing called irony?

[@user-cp5eu5gb5w]

Can't say raca. Not in the budget

[@chaosopher23]

Sometimes this can be heard on shortwave radio.

[@OsirisMalkovich]

This is 1/3 funny and 2/3 terrifying.

[@BlackCover95]

Like good satire should.

[@itcouldbelupus2842]

And 💯 percent accurate

[@GSBarlev]

I watched this right after reading an analysis of what's going on in Arizona's Republican caucus right now, so to me this is more like 7/8 terrifying.

[@dominicfucinari1942]

@@GSBarlev I wonder if most of those extreme Charismatican types know that Pentecostalism only dates back to the year One Nine Zero Six. They don't seem aware that the idea of speaking in tongues doesn't even date back 2 centuries ago.

[@StormsparkPegasus]

Problem is Poe's Law. There are republicans that would take this literally and unironically as support.

[@firefly4f4]

Personally, I'd have gone with: Fraternal American Society of Christians for Implementing the Sovereign Testament

[@MLBlue30]

I see what you did there.

[@AndrewH1994]

Hmmm I bet we could come up with a better way to say that. Maybe an acronym? Yeah, how about F.A.S.C.I.S.T. and it can be pronounced “fascist”

[@firefly4f4]

In hindsight, it probably should have been "Savior's" instead of "Sovereign", but that's picking nits

[@jackabug2475]

"Or, NAMBLA..."

[@qwertyshblong]

@@firefly4f4​​⁠​⁠id say the internet will end up naturally selecting the iteration that is most catchy, so my mutation id like to contribute is “*Free America’s* Society of Christians for Implementing the Savior’s Testament”

[@wiesejay]

GOP 2008: Welcome, bigots! GOP 2016: How did nazis take over the party all of a sudden?

[@BelRigh]

Gop 2024: What Nazis? .... Those aren't Nazis....

[@gogreen7794]

The bigots were welcomed by Nixon and many in GOP leadership roles after the passage of the Civil Rights and Voting Rights Acts in the 1960s.

[@RiesenWuschel]

@@BelRigh "And if they were, it wouldn't be a crime."

[@1th_to_comment.]

​@@BelRigh but they actually are

[@josephcercy8117]

GOP 1980! Remember the "Moral Majority"?

[@shnickityshnoo3574]

Listing the "female orgasm" as one of things that's no longer called a sin and then, much later, calling out that only their wives understand how you "biblically know the bible" - very well done.

[@triksterx]

The way you fondled that Bible was unsettling. Good job.

[@williamb9422]

It was kind of sexy...

[@williamb9422]

Oh wait...I spoke too soon, it was totally creepy.

[@CAP198462]

But, did you notice it was right side up.

[@michellejean11]

trump does it, he understands the fanatics that vote for him even if he can't tell if the bible is upside down. Amen.

[@MLBlue30]

If only modern Christians knew how much God hates them. Matt 7: 21-23.

[@Kenobi-1221]

Spot on. As a Christian, it absolutely infuriates me how these people use a book that teaches the opposite of their beliefs to justify their bigotry. Even if you look at the provisions supposedly "condemning" gay people, there's a complete lack of understanding how to read context, language, etc. combined with horrible translation errors). Not to mention complete disregard for the fact that their own doctrine states Jesus abolished the Old Testament law.

[@orange_is_the_worst_color]

Amen!

[@willie728]

💯💯💯💯💯💯

[@luckymuddypaw]

Same! I have a nun in my family and she is active in local politics as a Democrat, and tries to get more people registered to vote. She has written letters to the local paper calling out other religions people for their bigotry. She is the reason my family stayed on the right path. It's not so much about party loyalty, it's about which candidate will do things for the country instead of just for their own benefit.

[@mystablak]

What doctrine states that Jesus abolished Old Testament law?

[@misspatvandriverlady7555]

@@mystablakJesus Himself clearly stated that animal sacrifices and food purity, amongst other things, were no longer strictly necessary. If you read the Old Testament, you’ll see how absolutely critical to old Jewish law such practices were. In the Catholic Church, the general understanding is that we hold onto the Old Testament because it holds the prophecies that foretold the coming of the Christ, not because we are supposed to keep following the old Jewish laws contained therein.

[@jaredboyd7997]

"Religion is regarded by the common people as true, the wise as false, and the rulers as useful." - Seneca

[@RobMacKendrick]

The genius of this monologue is that it's written in the exact cadences that preachers and God-pimping politicians use in these situations. The up-welling patriotic oratory, the sudden hushed, reverent, even teary declarations of love and gratitude, then a shock-and-awe screaming rant about thunderous retribution, then back to coda and you do it all over. Seriously. Watch one of these guys in action. Steve has completely nailed it.

[@Angel_Kittichik]

I grew up listening to these kinds of rants, and I can say it’s incredibly accurate. Reminded me how my mind would wander off out of boredom or how tired I’d get while sitting there.

[@seannyhan2254]

Satire is dead. This is so on point it's not even a lampoon. Sweet Christmas!

[@caligo7918]

There is a point where reality becomes so surreal, you can't make satire of it anymore...

[@StormsparkPegasus]

@@caligo7918 Yep, we've hit that point.

[@MLBlue30]

The very last thing he said in the video scared the shit out of me. Or maybe the way he said it. It was a cross between a sermon and a Hitler speech. Didn't think the Bible cound sound do... demonic. But that's Christian Nationalsm for you. Less about the love, more about the aggressive fascism.

[@arkhamftw6186]

“Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.” -Tom Lehrer

[@evanpatterson7098]

Idiocracy was supposed to be "just a movie " as well.😂😂😢😢

[@agonzalez8924]

Honestly if a republican politician gave a speech like this in front of conservative voters, they'd fall in line and get behind it anyway because they also respond to "strong" leadership. We've all heard conservative commentary, they like when someone speaks confidently and "tells it like it is"

[@katiekofemug]

IKR?!! nothing like secret knowledge of "truth" to secure the base that is absolutely certain they'll be at the right hand of that strong leader, hacking down the unworthy. It never, ever occurs to them they're next not above.

[@SceptileDude254]

These people are lemmings. Not smart enough to pick up their brains out of primeval thinking of "big man talk lot = good man". The same kinds of people we have had since medieval times.

[@MLBlue30]

"He speaks his mind." - something my Dad said about Trump. So much meaningless nonsensical fluff. It means he's tickling your ears, you thoughtless rube.

[@jackabug2475]

@@katiekofemug "I never thought leopards would eat MY face!"

[@willie728]

💯

[@ccf_1004]

I have an uncle that really needs to hear this but if he knew I sent it to him I think he'd become violent...

[@TheNeoVid]

A member of the law & order party committing violence? Unthinkable!

[@butterflystampede1945]

Try another way. Ask one of your friends from a different county pretend to be Christian and that he "needs to see this for the love of God!" That should work😊

[@leanysealvarado7499]

Send it anyway 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@MakCurrel]

I'm sure he would try to legit vote for this guy. He might not see the satire and tell you the man is 100% correct. 😮

[@unknownsoldierx637]

I'll send it to him. Send me contact info. I won't even say anything to him.

[@gcb345]

And this is why church attendance is down.

[@CMDRZero01]

I don't think it's the only reason, but there were enough.

[@willie728]

💯💯💯

[@luckymuddypaw]

Fr I haven't directly been asked that question but I have almost screamed it at my parish priests multiple times bc it's so obvious

[@abrslam]

The "LGBTQIABC123 times up"Is actually a really clever turn of phrase. I honestly wouldn't be surprised to hear bigots start using it.

[@LegoDork]

They use it all the time.

[@MLBlue30]

They love their memes and catchphrases.

[@madrooky1398]

That is how everyone is nowaday using the term "woke" without even knowing what it actually meant originally. Such terms serve a shortcut to prevent meaningful thoughts.

[@Dragonkrux]

I could have sworn that was an actual quote

[@agent_meister477]

I was going to ask if this speech was hard to write. But when I thought about the subject matter I realised that it practically wrote itself.

[@Barnabas45]

I used to be a janitor for a Catholic school and this dude is spot on!

[@Tolly7249]

I went to a Catholic school in the 90s and 2000s and yeah, very much this. And my school was actually pretty sane in the religious school stakes!

[@nbenefiel]

I went to Catholic schools from first grade through grad school. I was taught to think for myself.

[@matthewgordon3281]

I went to Catholic School for Kindergarten to 12th grade. The passive bigotry kept me from feeling safe even admitting to myself that I was gay. I'm pushing 60 and still have to fight the self loathing they instilled in me.

[@perks6292]

The Fraternal American Trust of Christians Outspoken for Certitude, Knowledge & Sensibility, A.K.A. the F.A.T. C.O.C.K.S.

[@keirfarnum6811]

Acronyms ‘R’ Us! 😂. I didn’t even catch that one. Nicely done. 👍🏻

[@jasonmast7769]

uspto, trademark's.... aaand done. cya in the midterms

[@heavyecho1]

This is scarily brilliant. If Steve ever became a Republican, the Dems would be in serious trouble. He comes across a genuine demigogue and believes in what he is saying. It just goes to show how shallow their speeches actually are.

[@dominicfucinari1942]

The Fraternal American Trust of Christians Outspoken for Certitude, Knowledge, and Sensibility perfectly encapsulates the blatant political machine that big United Statish ministries have allowed themselves to turn into in exchange for putting their hierarchs in the lap of luxury.

[@MLBlue30]

Agreed. A perfect wolf in sheep's clothing.

[@itcouldbelupus2842]

Love these. It's SO telling how Republicans are too scared to comment on any of these videos, they don't want to touch these videos.

[@dominicfucinari1942]

Sympathizers with the Mississippi and Alabama Strategy are probably just self-aware enough to realize how evil their favorite multi-Megadollar ministries are in the face of Shives saying the quiet parts out loud for them to reflect on.

[@ZyliahWar]

Steve's also said he deletes those types of comments. But I imagine there still aren't many showing up.

[@CitanulsPumpkin]

Steve has said before that he goes through his comments and bans the nazis that try to spam him.

[@itcouldbelupus2842]

@@ZyliahWar fair enough, I just can't imagine a Republican being brave enough to try and argue with something like this, especially the one about women. I doubt he had to delete many on that one, he so ruthlessly bodies the conservative mentality towards women.

[@itcouldbelupus2842]

@@CitanulsPumpkin that's decent of him, because I would definitely waste my time and raise my cortisol levels by fighting with them. Hard to kick the rush you get from rubbing a fash nose in their evil beliefs while they do Olympic level mental gymnastics to try and make something evil sound good.

[@lowellcunningham3332]

In case it wasn't obvious, everything the Republican said about God in the Constitution and Pledge of Allegiance was wrong. I kept expecting that to be made explicit.

[@seangoldman6833]

We really should push to have the national motto be returned to "E pluribus unum". It's a lot more pertinent to our country and not a scared declaration trying to differentiate us from the "godless" communists of the USSR.

[@Datan0de]

I came to the comments just to see if anyone had pointed that out. Thank you.

[@firefly4f4]

"Fraternal American Trust of Christians Outspoken for Certitude Knowledge and Sensibility" ISWYDT

[@brianpaulbrundage]

Thank you it's 5:30 in the morning and my brain couldn't figure it out

[@aldenheterodyne2833]

F A T C O C K S For people like me who need it spelled out. 😅

[@MrChupacabra555]

Thank you. Was trying to figure it out, then realized someone else had probably already done so 😂

[@linkthehero8431]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@austinluther5825]

That is brilliant. 😂

[@francoislacombe9071]

Loved the dark blue suit, the red tie and the bad hair.The only thing missing was the fake orange tan. 😂

[@kentesdall308]

Do you suppose he had a loaded diaper too.

[@MLBlue30]

Poor Steve just isn't materialistic enough to be genuine. I can't believe I just said dieting do oxymoronic but here we are are.

[@Dragonkrux]

Forgot it needed a flag to fondle

[@tunneloflight]

@@DragonkruxThat's the wrong f word. Start with humping proceed to --- Hey Donnie. Get the hell away from that flag! Jeezzz

[@jasonsmith2759]

If the God of the Christian Bible existed, I think he would smit the conservative Christians a long time ago for soiling his name.

[@jimslim4227]

I mean old testament god would in theory be on board but old testament god already had his chosen group that waged wars for him and burned down cities in his name.

[@brenatevi]

Nah. Any god willing to torture and kill "their own son" will be nodding right along. Jesus on the other hand might have other opinions, but he's been dead two thousand years, so who knows.

[@mattmorehouse9685]

@@jimslim4227 Not to mention they had to kill everyone for plenty of them. The men women, children, sheep, goats and cattle with some of those cities. So not only is Yahweh a monster, but also wasteful to boot. And for the ones they didn't kill everyone, they tended to take the virgin girls as sex slaves- sorry "wives". But I'm sure the parts where God orders mass deaths were just from human error, even though the Bible has not indication that a different level of respect is to be accorded to the parts where he is slaughtering cities and ordering rape. As long as liberal Christians still try to twist in knots to get their holy book off the hook, there will be more evidence that their Yahweh is along side the conservatives for genocide and narcissism.

[@mattmorehouse9685]

@@jimslim4227 I think Jesus would be a wildcard. Sure he says you should turn the other cheek... sometimes, and sometimes he says he will set daughters against their mothers and sons against their fathers. Not to mention, he's the one that made hell. So it depends on how he's feeling.

[@WWZenaDo]

​@mattmorehouse9685. Depends on how he's feeling... Like Trump! Now I understand why some Republicans call Trump the 'orange jesus'.

[@Ragnarok345]

Guarantee there are Republicans out there who haven’t seen a single Steve video, who would watch this and go “Damn, that guy seems pretty great! Talks a lotta sense! Hope he runs in the next election!” They’d sit there and listen to him insult them to their faces over and over again and “This guy’s very honest. Speaks what’s on his mind with no filter. I like that in a leader.” I mean, that’s basically what they do when they watch Star Trek.

[@KoRntech]

God is my price savior, and the flag is what I use to blind myself from the issues that matter. Ignorance is Bliss!

[@dionmcgee5610]

Ignorance may be bliss- but only for the ignorant. The rest of us have to clean their shit up. Like with the Donald.

[@user-ml6dk8sk4e]

Figures!

[@analogalien651]

Their ignorance is my pain

[@MovieMakingMan]

Ezekiel 23:20!

[@pippishortstocking7913]

Hard cringe. So in other words you're literally the personification of a person being willfully ignorant.

[@robertdascoli949]

"Jesus was just like me, a free market capitalist." That needs to go on a t-shirt

[@justina8721]

You should run for Congress. You'd probably win if you're in a red district.

[@nerium.nerium]

Religious bigotry is still bigotry.

[@lijohnyoutube101]

Yes in a way but bigotry on the other hand is to be against something that exists. Religion however is just ALL absolute gibberish it’s nothing but a mechanism for control.

[@matthewgordon3281]

No one has to be tolerant of intolerance. Tolerance is a contract, all sides agree to treat each other with a certain amount of respect. The intolerant break, violate, and ignore that contract so they don't get to benefit from it. Want to be a bigot against LGBTQIA+, women, people of color, immigrants, etc? Ok, but that means you get no tolerance from the rest of us.

[@What_do_I_Think]

Bigotry is always religious as I understand it.

[@edwardzignot2681]

My bestie who's completely secular, never been to church, never read the bible, and gives zero f@cks about religion told me she couldn't imagine me "praying" the other day. This turned into a conversation about my ten or so years of being a Baptist, a period that was ended by my actually reading the bible. I started telling her the specific parts of the bible that smashed my faith and caused me to become an atheist. She was absolutely speechless when it came to some of the horrifying crap in that book. Kept asking me "how do Christians justify this stuff?" I had to tell her that most Christians haven't read the bible and are only familiar with the bits cherry picked by their pastor for sermons. She couldn't believe for instance, that anyone would still be Christian knowing the whole bit where Lot tells the mob not to "hurt" the two angels disguised as men, but to take his daughters instead! It's just interesting how a normal person who has never been religious reacts to some of this stuff.

[@stillaworkinprogress2147]

Did you tell her how Lot's daughters felt so sorry that their mom was turned into a pillar of salt that they got their daddy (Lot) drunk and each "lay with him" so they could "preserve his seed"? Genesis 19:30-38

[@MichaelRainey]

Actually reading the Bible is the best way to convert someone away from Christianity.

[@wizquinn8021]

​@@MichaelRaineyher story is similar to mine. Actually reading and studying the Bible lead me to deconversion. My wife is starting to see the crazy in the Bible.

[@Dragonkrux]

I sweat to the Great Atheismo... I'm a better Christian now since deconstructing to Atheism than I was as a believer.

[@WWZenaDo]

The sickest thing about the "Lot" story is that the girls were so underage that they hadn't even begun to menstruate, as girls were (and still are!) given into the actual marriage (in the Middle East) once they've begun menstruating. Also the tale about the girls supposedly seducing their father later on was far more likely that Lot forced himself onto his daughters, and then blamed them for 'seducing' him.

[@Deondre_Clark]

Been watching these "if they said the quiet part videos" for awhile and I'm pretty sure that if a Republican said this one word for word they would win the evangelical vote

[@MLBlue30]

Modern American Christianity is all unbiblical hypocrtical hucksterism. A cult that won't die without a lot of kicking and screaming.

[@darcy5761]

Evangelicals the worst ,most bigoted perverted group around.

[@tunneloflight]

His name is Donald Trump - pronounced be-elzabub.

[@lasseehrenreich5502]

Steve you made a video about the hypocrisy, selfishness, and cynicism of Christian conservatives on my birthday - Iøm really lucky.

[@thing_under_the_stairs]

Happy birthday! What a great gift!

[@user-TheDieselOfTheProletariat]

Happy Birthday my friend.

[@Dragonkrux]

Luckier than me. I got a renoviction notice on mine this year.😢

[@floydb5668]

I’m a recovering Catholic myself, it’s all nonsense. I don’t have a problem with people having faith but only to the point of reason which they go past every time.

[@willie728]

Very well put 💯

[@floydb5668]

Science is my god at this point in my life. I can’t believe in an imaginary person in the heavens.

[@saintkohle]

This was accurate enough to make me think that autoplay dumped me into the wrong side of KZbin for a minute. Well done.

[@thing_under_the_stairs]

You would make an outstanding televangelist, and I'm not sure if this fact is hilarious, terrifying, or both.

[@theemmjay5130]

Hilarrifying.

[@Alexander_Stern1]

I was watching this when a coworker walked in. Steve was in the middle of one of the “sincere” bits (where he was talking about how America is a Christian nation) and it took a minute before my coworker asked, “Is this satire?”

[@politicalsideshow]

As a former Pentecostal minister and Republican, you nailed! 🎉. Well done!

[@jstareagle9523]

I would *love* to see this character in a sketch with Miss Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian. Former Calvinist here, lol. Proud gay pagan polyamorous socialist now.

[@Datan0de]

High five from a former Catholic, now proud bi atheist polyamorous socialist!

[@CoraFrances]

😱 This just gave me the worst anxiety. I realize that this is not the same thing, but it reminded me of when I needed to move my mother's car if I had to go somewhere. It never failed that as soon as the car started, my ears would be assaulted by a static Christian radio station at full blast with either James Dobson or some nut job preacher screaming about being persecuted or begging for donations. Or scare mongering about the rapture. Ok, I gotta go take a few deep calming breaths now. 😵‍💫

[@KikoNYC]

That bible got more action than I had in a long time!

[@xileets]

I'm just impressed he can get through this whole thing with gusto and commitment, and NOT vomit at least once.

[@misanikolic1096]

Boy I really hope Steve has a soundproof studio.

[@jordansean18]

If they did say the quiet part out loud, how many voters would they actually lose? They might even go up.

[@MLBlue30]

Trump is a proven criminal facing possible jail time and it hasn't hurt his chances in the slightest. And they think they are trapped in clown world with us... yeah right.

[@getnohappy]

Behind The Bastards (Podcast) did a great few episodes of how American Christianity went from generally socialist at the turn of the 19th/20th century to, well, this hysterical hypocritical insanity.

[@shadsie5484]

I loved that BtB episode! (Set of episodes)!

[@Kastila]

At first I was thinking this felt a little too real, then it got to the bit where a right-wing politician found the spot an I felt like we were back in fiction territory again. Phew.

[@JP-JustSayin]

There are only 3 sins: treating people like objects, crediting systemic outcomes (good or bad) to the actions of individuals, and wasting food.

[@literaterose6731]

No argument with your list, but you did forget one: 4. Ignoring the cat.

[@theemmjay5130]

@@literaterose6731 Cats are, after all, gods. Just ask the ancient Egyptians.

[@iamthewalrus8391]

Fraternal American Trust of Christians Outspoken for Certitude, Knowledge, and Sensibility is a fun acronym easter egg

[@keirfarnum6811]

Fat 🐔s! 👍🏻

[@jimvenizelos4649]

What's amusing is that a devout Christian conservative will watch this and 'believe' this just based on tone. They won't even recognize the sarcasm.

[@elizabethsullivan7176]

That's why "All In The Family" was such a popular show. Archie Bunker wasn't one of them, he was making fun of them.

[@johnosborne3187]

"Useful' is probably the most concise, accurate description of religion I have heard.

[@dano8902]

Oh man...that last part was so on the mark it left me in a state of discomfort. The implications of exactly how true that quote is in this context is genuinely terrifying.

[@Troubleshooter125]

Tell you what, Steve: your little tirade took me back to my senior year in high school, our production of _Finian's Rainbow,_ and a similar rant offered by one of the characters in that piece: _Gentlemen, the festering tides of radicalism are upon us. But before I yield up our glorious South -and her sister commowealth, the U.S. of A - I will lay down my life. I will do more - I will filibuster. Back, you crackpots! Forward, America! Forward to the hallowed principles of our forefathers. Forward to the sweet tranquility of the status quo. Forward... to yesterday!_ -- Senator Billboard Rawkins Different bigotry, but the same idea, really.

[@mattmorehouse9685]

Forward to yesterday seems a really good summation of US Christianity. They're obsessed with dragging us back to the 50s because they've imbibed the propaganda on tv and the internet that that time was just the greatest. That and it was nice and racist and sexist, so they could beat their wives and didn't have to see anyone with more melanin.

[@joebove4]

Never read the Bible, but he knows and loves him some Revelation.

[@user-kn7hm5kd2q]

I watched a video about 30 years ago that talked about the founding fathers and that the vast majority of them were atheist but knew they needed to somehow keep it separate from politics. At least they tried! Great job Steve 👏!

[@playwrightwoman86]

Ok as an Exvangelical I gotta say this was your best work yet! You nailed it!!

[@ghostporcupine]

I was listening while making breakfast and the fondling shook me awake 😂

[@sherwinfitz]

If you didn't tell them it was satire, they'd cheer for this guy.

[@spencerjoplin2885]

Oh, to hack a teleprompter at CPAC with this speech. I’m thinking Lauren Boebert, maybe Ben Carson.

[@pilotnamealreadytaken6035]

Can we summon anonymous on this?!?!? Someone needs to make that happen

[@therealshadow99]

The funniest part is that we have historical evidence that the modern 'old testament' part of the bible doesn't even look much like one would have originally as things were added and removed. A lot of the condemning of people who were different (gay, women as lesser, etc) comes from those additions done by biggest who managed to get control of the early church at least a few different times.

[@WWZenaDo]

That's NOT an accurate description of the "Documentary Hypothesis". There were multiple factions struggling for political power using religion (of course) to tout their particular versions, and incorporation of older Sumerian legends via the Babylonian conquest of Jerusalem (particularly the second version of the tales of creation, Genesis chapter 2 beginning in verse 4), and far too much more to go into detail here. The New Testament also shows power struggles among various factions of early Christianity, far more so than nearly all Christians are aware of.

[@Darth_Draconus]

I love this so much. Thanks, Steve😂😂 This is is absolutely brilliant.

[@larrybliss8330]

Steve, I am glad you're on our side.

[@Vulcanerd]

Ok, so a bit of your speech I really enjoyed and appreciated and, as you were reciting it, I thought, "Wait a minute, I don't think that's right..." I went up and looked to see if god is mentioned in the US Constitution, nope. And the phrase, "In God We Trust" and the pledge of allegiance was not something the 'founding fathers' came up with seeing as they were added late in the 19th century. Then there are all the nonsensical stuff your character mentioned like how god decided Islam was evil... even though, in the Abrahamic religions, all the gods are the same. Brilliant stuff!

[@bobvee1694]

“Under God” was added to the pledge of allegiance during the Eisenhower administration in 1954. “In God We Trust” became an official motto, and was mandated on all currency, in 1955.

[@WWZenaDo]

​@@bobvee1694 Thank you for correcting that misinformation. All of that came out of Wisconsin Republican Senator Joseph R. McCarthy's 1950 use of fear-mongering about communism and socialism in an attempt to install an authoritarian christo-fascist government in America.

[@hendrsb33]

That wig... that wig! 🤣Just as funny as the person it sits atop.

[@Mario-vq6jv]

it gives me Kavanaugh vibes 😆

[@Wordfishtrombone]

I’ve been down a recent rabbit hole about Independent Fundamental Baptist churches. I grew up in a similar church/school/friend group. It’s amazing how even the people who don’t know they’re being controlled manipulate others to keep the power structure

[@miskatonic_alumni]

There's a reason why the number of rightwing schools of thought that practice material analysis is zero.

[@austinluther5825]

You are scarily good at this.

[@kyleoates6367]

Church attendance totally makes sense being down now. Why go to church if you get your sermons on a daily basis from politicians?

[@muchograndeyolatengo]

Apparently it's down too because a growing part of certain congregations now think that Jesus is too woke. You can't make this shit up! 😂

[@SylviaRustyFae]

May the algo bless this vid with the views your channel truly deserves

[@PerfectGoat717]

This is literally just the homelander bit in season one where he’s at that religious event

[@tyherty45]

Man Steve, you’re too good at this! Do you ever throw up a little in your mouth when you do these skits?

[@oldreprobate2748]

The quiet part is that they've never read the Bible.

[@nathanowen1328]

I did not see the quote from Revelations at the end coming, but it was very nicely done.

[@theemmjay5130]

Yes, that was a great touch.

[@DawnDavidson]

I was not expecting to need to file one of your videos under “erotica,” but here we are.

[@Jayk129]

So I figure we’ve got what like six weeks before we can all enjoy this again when Atheist channels like Sir Sic, Viced Rhino, TheSkepTick, Professor Plink, etc. release response videos to all the bat-sh*t crazy Christian meltdown videos we’re about to get from this. Great Job Steve 👍 Thanks for the awesome birthday present!

[@weirdkitty07]

I treat the old testament as 'angry young god with angst who wants to smite everyone' and the new testament as 'more focused god who has changed his mind and wants only to smite the powerful and give to the poor'.

[@MichaelRainey]

Having a kid really mellowed Him out.

[@mattmorehouse9685]

From what I've heard Jesus is the one who made hell. So is he really all that much better than his old man?

[@nordos]

@@mattmorehouse9685 nah, hell is an old concept. Except that the old concept basically boiled down to 'place without god' which doesn't sound bad enough. So, in the middle ages, they kinda rebranded hell to be filled with fire and eternal torture. Dunno how much of a role Jesus played in all of that (I think there are passages about Fire and all), but the current imaginery doesn't go that far back (Dantes Inferno was a major influence for example)

[@WWZenaDo]

Then you've totally missed all of the struggles and power plays between various factions in the early evolution of Christianity.

[@jrsydvl7218]

I just hope Steve is doing these as parodies and not raising an army of knuckle-dragging bible-thumpers.

[@Jcewazhere]

Almost perfect. That last part where you pick the bible back up shoulda held it upside down. Just my 2 cents.

[@drottercat]

Man, this is outstanding. The writing and the performance. Tour de force.

[@brian.the.archivist]

One of the things that get me about the Christian nationalists is that all levers of government are dominated by Christians. So... since it can't be about Christians being in charge, is it about my type of christian? My actual religion imposed on people (which they'd deny)? My flavorite brand of christian values dominating? I don't think most of them think that far beyond gut reactions about change and loss of privilege, but the rhetorical question is out there

[@aureyd2515]

The day after they declare the USA is a theocracy, I don't think they'll bother the heathens that much. They'll go right to the Christian versus Christian religious wars and persecutions.

[@mattmorehouse9685]

Yeah, I'd say you're right. The majority of conservatives view change as something inherently untrustworthy and think everything should be like when they were young- or at least, what they think their younger years were like. I've noticed some of the most vocal elements of online fandoms scream and bitch that the original meaning of a work is sacrosanct- in between completely butchering said meaning. Like the faux smart chuds who complain that the sequel trilogy had to be "realistic". But not in like a way that would invalidate the ot, where ties make sound in space, ftl exists and whatever powers the death star. They use "realism" as a cover for their childish opinions and military fetishes, and always leave out that Star Wars was never all that realistic, nor should it be.

[@rickbrookes9491]

This is so fantastic! The end was simply perfect!

[@jasonkean7280]

yeah, that last line was a bit chilling. well done as always ;p

[@jeffrey1312]

This is so spot on it's scary. It is honestly like a flashback to my Baptist days.

[@rogernull6151]

We all want to hear that we are "right." It's called Confirmation Bias.

[@pickledragonrebel]

Love you're work ! Greatly appreciated.❤

[@thesevideos4382]

This background looks like a funeral home...I guess it is better than a landscape company.

[@RobertFoley]

"Chief's Kiss" sprinkles irony salt everywhere.

[@xeromedia]

I'm going to have to watch that again. It was f****** hilarious

[@MidSizedSusquatch]

You know that Facepalm Friday is still 100% a viable title and all.. but as I finished typing that... I caught my bossy self... Steve, you got this! Love what you're doing babe! ✌🏻😎👍🏻

[@jimfisher1616]

As someone born and raised evangelical in the Midwest, this could easily be said out loud and the pews would be awash with raised hands and "Amens".

[@Matthew_Raymond]

For some reason, this reminds me of Father Brown shouting “God is not your scapegoat!”.

[@weirdkitty07]

Woe to the hypocrites, that's Greek for bad actors, and woe to the false prophets who blaspheme in his name. Yeah, the neo cons are not going to get their reward in heaven.

[@demonicusa.k.a.theblindguy3929]

Speak the word brother Steve.

[@jeffreyfancher4917]

Keep going Steve. I've introduced your posts to some friends. They enjoyed them also

[@literaterose6731]

I think this is the second time I’ve hoped sincerely for an epic collab between Quiet Part Out Loud Steve and Mrs. Betty Bowers, because talk about a power couple! Though I do have slight qualms that the result could be a spontaneous generation of the Ultimate Cult, so… Nah, it’d still be worth it.

[@Brannen666]

Loving this series of videos!❤

[@AronRa]

Well written, Sir.

[@millennialmatt7]

To them the world is infected and needs to be cured. Never thinking that the "disease" they imagine is just that. Imagined.🤯

[@dagnabit145]

I brought up the same points in an argument i had with someone that wouldnt stop trying to preach to me.

[@KoRntech]

12:44 oh my 😅

[@gabrielmichelson9830]

I didn't know I wanted to have sex with a bible until just now. And I'm not sure why, actually.

[@GaladrielFlowers]

😂

[@foppishdilletaunt9911]

To correct the tremulous Sammy Johnson, Religion is the last refuge of the scoundrel. From an early age as a born and bred Atheist child I have found the fanatical bibliolatry of these meshuga Xians to be endlessly amusing and unfathomable. As the old saying has it, out of all books the bible has created the most Atheists. Thanks for the blacky-bleaky humour Mr Shives.