Stop Sabotaging Yourself | Debi Silber | TEDxFultonStreet

[@Somewherreonearth]

“That moment where the pain of where you are becomes greater than the fear of the unknown”

[@nellyb.9340]

Exactly, and that’s when you realise that it’s time to drop Excess Baggage because you have realised that the only baggage you really need is self-love because only you know and can carry that baggage as it should be.

[@dylanholmes5411]

There’s a direct quote from the Narcotics Anonymous (12 step) Blue Book that goes as follows: “When the pain of remaining the same outweighs the fear of change, we will surely let go” *Disclaimer* I am not a member of any 12 step program

[@themakingofLatoya]

Whew

[@missjohnsonftj]

✅✅✅

[@rachelwong3474]

🥹

[@virginia_in_the_rearview]

Your words are my new mantra....."The risk is great, but the reward is greater!"Thank you for giving me that extra push I needed.

[@ompabaletserametse8643]

How are you doing today?

[@kellieknight2552]

I like that Mantra !!

[@fuckyoumakeart6672]

I hope you failed

[@GraceJones1]

It's so sad how many ppl self sabotage themselves. I firmly believe, if ppl were more educated towards the power of the human mind and their true potential, we would be living in a whole different world.

[@fitnfab6522]

Kyung Jones most people understand the power of the mind, but some people need a mental boost. it is not easy for some to just get up and go. those who are mentally strong say what you said, but little do you know that some people are deep in their habits, lowest, and isn't simple to get up and go. They need help. Those who lecture like this speaker, need to realize and deeply understand what those who feel stuck are truly mentally experiencing. I find it ignorant for someone to lecture without feeling what others experience deeply. Easier to lecture, but let's help others to a deeper core.

[@Jo71603]

Hi Kyung!

[@Dmgolfer22]

+Fit n Fab she speaks from experience.

[@daynamcmullan5822]

Fit n Fab. This lecturer’s life work is doing just that.

[@moneybuilden]

Kyung Jones ❤️❤️💯💯💯💯

[@DanielSquires]

*You self sabotage as a result of your self image.* Your self image is like the thermostat of your results. keeping your results the same on average, be that your body weight, hygiene, income, health etc. when you make a change at the identity level, it is much easier to take new, better actions consistently

[@lavishlucy777]

Sounds like the Psycho Cybernetics book.

[@hanihatoum2614]

Thank you

[@virginiataylor2850]

I've been sabotaging myself, & not able to get a handle on it. Thank you! That's it! I understand why now. It's the pain of change, fear. It's the status quo, the comfort zone. It's the fear of pain. Thank you for giving me a clue! There's a reason, or pay off for everything we do or don't do.

[@sacurine]

I didn't know how much this applied to my life until I watched it. This is exactly what I needed.

[@jayjayhayat5871]

This is exactly what I was beating myself up about at 4am and guess what...it appears on my recoms. So grateful

[@BLESSTREASURE]

Me too so True

[@swanne.9]

Same

[@thecowboy9698]

I think the reason why life has become so complicated, is because of how fast paced everything has become. With everything is fast paced, people can't slow down and think. They can't slow down and evaluate.

[@castleberries]

Very true! 😔

[@herkko1960]

Yeah, I wish I was born in the 1900s and be a soldier in war instead of being on a device and being lazy, I know life is good now, but technology has ruined humanity's tradition.

[@sumo8279]

They've gotten themselves in debt.

[@BLESSTREASURE]

Soooooooo True

[@jack8752]

well thats why im happy its 2020 and the world is on hold

[@daynamcmullan5822]

This TALK spoke to every situation in my life now. I need to kick sabotage to the curb! Thank you. I’m going to order your book today too. Losing my remote control was the jumpstart from just surviving to thriving.

[@amyfleming4758]

I don’t comment ever. I just had to say that this was amazing. “When the pain of where you are becomes greater than the unknown”. It took me until today to realise that there is nothing wrong with me, I was just self-sabotaging. I’ve recently dropped out of uni and I’m scared to tell anyone. Instead I’ve started to create a blog diary. It’s early days still but so far 😊it’s the only thing in years that has sparked any interest and joy in me. So thank you

[@manuelmanuel3968]

Hello mate how's the blog going for you.

[@goldenageenthusiast]

One of my favorite quotes “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ― Anais Nin

[@xxjia2387]

tears in my eyes. I need to hear this so much!!

[@RyRobio]

"It's your message how can anyone hear if you're staying still" I felt that

[@nathanramos6685]

"The risks are great but the rewards are even better" awesome quote from an amazing speaker

[@tashaislosingweight1068]

This is sooo much.. for years and years and years I have self sabatoged..... even walked to the edge, ready to jump, but i didnt... it took my bestfriend dying last year, for me to jump. i am filled with guilt, and regret, and fear.. but I jumped .. and im jumping.. pray for me please.. I have a l ot of weight to get off ... but im going to do it...

[@sickid41]

If you want to talk you can reply to my messages. How have you been been.

[@angelassembeguya5061]

tasha IsLosingWeight Don’t worry stay strong keep your head high, you can do this, you can change your thoughts and be great. God bless 😘

[@ananascarpenter]

You can do it Tasha!

[@sunitgogoi]

Sister do some yoga, gratitude and medication........

[@lazerarrow3680]

I wish you well do not stop

[@alancohen1935]

One of the best and most relevant talks I've heard in a long time. What she said and who she seems to be is an inspiration to make the most of ourselves despite obstacles - including sabotaging ourselves.

[@tanyam2701]

Truly an idea worth spreading. Her level of clarity and understanding of the world is incredible.

[@sabrinamartino849]

This video is grossly unviewed and underrated! Thank you for making me feel powerful and confident!

[@PaperRaines]

I wish I could Love this video on this platform. Change=Loss...... your new life is going to cost you your old one. Man, great talk

[@tremmelrichardson9759]

Eduardo perfectly said👌🏽

[@munroeanthony4004]

@@tremmelrichardson9759 peace

[@ipnotikfromitaly5094]

Change can be very hard and scary, but it's worth it!

[@trollsnotwelcome7805]

Being stuck is hard and scary

[@johnnni76]

Okay you recognized what self sabotaging is! Bravo! Where are the methods to stop these thoughts! I don’t understand why people post things with no answers! It’s like saying stop smoking because it cancerous, bad for your teeth, bad for your health! News flash they know it’s bad for them but they still smoke! That’s not an answer! An answer would be mediate or whatever! But in order to be up there at a ted talk, please use answers to the questions

[@natalia-uu6hu]

The thing is that everyone needs something different depending on their particular problem, I think she did a great job making people recognize their problems and probably inspired many people to change for the better. In psychology you can't just tell the patient what to do, they have to think of it themselves with your help and they have to be the ones that decide to do it.

[@carmiezaya9849]

I agree completely.

[@a_1itt1e_1ady]

She's right. I decided to move states to California as I'd become stuck in my hometown. I'd outgrown my friends and city lifestyles, I needed out. I did it with the help of my best friend and it feels amazing. Don't stay stuck. THE GRASS IS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE. GO.

[@a_1itt1e_1ady]

Edit: I just changed my YT profile pic, living out a dream in California. My best friend took this picture 😇

[@sheeranlover4224]

I’m 23 letting past demons and current insecurities do just this, I needed to hear this and just in time

[@AJD22]

Hi, I'm 23 , tell me how your doing? After 3 years. Is it still hard to move in life?

[@ManishKumar-gb7yf]

One of the best Tedx Talks I have ever listened to, especially when I needed it.

[@lillypooh83]

Change is exactly what I'm facing, currently in my life. I sabotaged myself so much in the past that I just can't do it anymore. "Headed to the top so, that I can get a better view". -Saweetie

[@SabineFonderson]

I agree that by stopping doing things that are good for your mind and body you go back into the world of sabotage I used to go to the gym, eat healthy and since I stopped I can pinpoint the day that it made me lose focus in myself, my work and my reality I’m saying everyday I will go back to the gym and eat healthy again...

[@mattpassos5689]

DO IT SABINE I BELIEVE IN YOU

[@twashpee5110]

I totally agree. Like when my ex friends would make fun of me for reading self help books...I knew I had to cut em off, before i self sabotage to thinking developing myself was lame. I am lonely 😂😂😂 totally worth it! Damn! Her arms are ripped AF

[@DebiSilber]

Hi T, I know it's hard to outgrow friends but I'm sure you're seeing that while it's challenging, you're allowing new, like-minded inspiring friends to flow in. Good for you!

[@Y0shiart2]

Do you want to do! :3

[@2Oldcoots]

True at 5:50 and she successfully describes the key decision point! Well done Ms. Silber....Well done!

[@LifeisLimitlessItsaChoiceYourC]

I can relate with Margo . LIfe has a way to show you that we are meant for more ---health, success, great relationship. Let go of the negative past and get your groove back and be high on life!

[@boitumeloletsuma2406]

This lady is speaking to me!! Literally everything I have been going through and growing through over the past few months. I am even more certain now that I'm heading in the right direction. Thank you so much mam

[@camryn5830]

Truly inspiring, one of my favorite TEDx's of all time.

[@matthewmartin784]

Absolutely perfect. Exactly what I needed at this moment. Truly an amazing Ted talk. Thank you!

[@danl1519]

Matthew Martin pus

[@chandrikaiyer6514]

Thank you. So inspiring.🙏

[@alancohen1935]

I strongly second that emotion!

[@SA-ww1ge]

its very difficult to let go of people you've outgrown but the best thing for yourself. It takes a lot to do this and not easy, I have no one in my life from the past and I'm very grateful.

[@wizzy_00]

Like i have been sabotaging myself for so long and I didn't even know it now i feel like i need to change myself and leave the old self who i am comfortable with and change myself altogether

[@Nwaina]

Made me cry

[@QueXLcior]

me too

[@katyarevenko9240]

Anima Nwaina same

[@SuperGorak]

Still brings pain to me know that if I ever start seeking self-fulfillment, I will start making a lot of people in my life feel really inadequate and insecure. To them it's ridiculous that you don't settle for just good enough. I feel really guilty and sad whenever I start feeling good about myself, so I do things that make me feel sometimes bad but mostly neutral about myself. But it used to be far worse, so there's improvement already.

[@JessicaRuiz323]

You better not stop. Life is all about growing.

[@Lilith-jn8gz]

Thank you! It is inspiring, I have tried to start my bussiness as a photographer and I keep avoiding it! I didn’t know why, but I start asking, why? Why? Why? I have everything you start. And yesterday I have an enlightenment, and now I am here. It’s not because I don't like it, or i am not good enough, it’s because I am scared of change, let go

[@reenspace1301]

Take a leap of faith and move in direction of well being ..Great talk

[@daminivalecha3140]

Nothing could have Helped me more than this! Grateful!!

[@magpieonline4801]

Something I'm learning...when you come to the path to change, take the path and don't talk about it. Simply do it. You can't be worried about the opinions of others if you don't confide in them. You can't self-sabotage if you're the only one who knows the path exists. Chase that inspiration and potential with abandon. I have literally come to the point where I only share my goals with a select few people and it's usually after I start changing. It's really starting to put me in a place where I feel like my potential is limitless because I'm not held back or sabotaging myself with the concerns for other people in my life. Their opinions don't matter. My transformation does.

[@iraamelia9526]

❤

[@doctornalini]

Brilliant, Compassionate and A Woman Who Walks Her Talk!

[@23.aiminhnhat18]

I started following the Forwago workout sessions day after day and it hasn't just changed my body, but positively impacted my mental health and made me a new me..

[@BigDaddy-zi3op]

Thank you for this! I have been feeling pretty numb lately and I am ready to snap out of it, make stronger decisions and move on. I actually believe I may have outgrown my friends, because most of the stuff they like now really doesn't appeal to me. I need a stronger, exhilarating challenge for me to come out of my own self-doubt and max out my self-esteem and I am looking for it.

[@clintonmoyah7086]

I feel scared of change Being in my comfort zone is my safety net Being miserable is the downfall Every time I step out of my comfort zone their is always opposition that has cause and effect that leads to overthinking I'm sick of being tired of being sick of tired.

[@poloska9471]

Stop trying, start enjoying. Who cares what you achieve in life if the result is inevitable death and in 1000 years your existence won’t even exist and in spacetime the entire planet is utterly irrelevant (and that is said by me in an optimistic tone, not pessimistic or negative)? You have one life: do what you’ve always dreamed of for the sake of doing something at all and if those dreams don’t get you off of the couch then they must be lousy dreams or you simply need to let go and let breathe for long enough to regain a sense of desire to get off the couch. If you don’t want to do something then just lay there and stare at the ceiling until you get bored and do something… Just remember that when it comes to success, it is utterly inevitable so long as you simply keep plucking away at whatever it is that you set out to achieve and never quit regardless of how challenging or long it takes. Furthermore, you don’t even need to exit the comfort zone… you’re already uncomfortable… you’re already tried exiting the comfort zone and it leads you back into the discomfort zone which leads you back into the comfort zone and on and on it goes back and forth… so just learn to bob-and-weave with the roller coaster… focus on making your rock bottom higher (raise your standards rather than your goals, so when you achieve something new, you don’t go crashing all the way back down to zero… instead, you crash back down to 0.01, then 0.015, then 0.02, and so on… that will literally lead you to success in any endeavor. You don’t need to squeeze every single last drop of energy out of yourself to do this stuff. Success is easy... who said it is supposed to be hard? Other people? Screw what they exist for altogether, let alone what they think or do… you are the master of your own existence… your reality is your own to bare. Do absolutely anything you want with it so long as it makes for a worthwhile life in the first place… how sad would it be to lay on a deathbed and think “gee well that sucks… I missed my entire life because I was so obsessed with being something that I never got to experience anything with my heart and soul, I just kept pushing myself around and in the end here I am, in a deathbed”. The single only thing that separates every successful individual from every unsuccessful individual is that the successful person committed themselves so utterly to their endeavor that no amount of resistance forced them to give up and quit. They simply stuck around and simply showed up for long enough to manifest that which everyone else gave up on. So do you think of yourself as someone who can brush their teeth for their entire life? You’re successful at brushing your teeth, taking a shower, or changing your clothes… therefore you can do anything else if you can commit to it in a similar way… no mind tricks needed. Just simple good ol boring rinse and repeat over a long time. Accept that you already have everything you ever wanted… it’s just waiting for you a few year-meters ahead.

[@poloska9471]

See this reply, it’s important

[@clintonmoyah7086]

@poloska9471 Thank you, and I appreciate you I needed your sound wisdom to nudge me to life half full.insread, not half empty I believe the lesson here is to allow life to overflow and enjoy life 😉

[@poloska9471]

@@clintonmoyah7086 anytime! Glad it helped! I guess the best advice I could give is to just roll with the punches… your problems won’t. If you feel a lot of negative energy (the feeling of heaviness inside, lack of freedom, lack of light, lack of motivation, depression, etc) one of the very best ways to find change is to focus on the spirit, and that really is a thing… it takes time to cultivate but my god is it powerful once it gets going. Not religion but one’s connection to consciousness itself… remember when you were a kid and everything was wonder-ful? Find wonder in life again… when you do, everything else will effortlessly click. As for emotions, just say out loud 10 things for which you are grateful before bed every night… it will radically change how you see life.

[@debbiewilley9428]

Bingo! Wish I had heard this 30-40 years ago. Great information.

[@violak8799]

Waw, that is amazing ,this video has touched me a lot. Am in that phase in life were things are finally getting to happen,especially this week. I saw myself starting to sabotage and this time round I recognised it,and am fighting to stay focus and just jump. Its actually isn't that easy,but I decided I am jumping regardless. Thank you.

[@jessgrisel9277]

I go back to this talk, every time I feel like I am about too self-sabotage. I keep telling myself, you never know if you do not try. And who knows, maybe things will turn out better than you realize. It hard to put yourself out of your comfort zone, but you can let the fear of the unknown control your life.

[@SuperRandomrap]

I just love her high pitched voice! It always brightens my day to listen to her voice in this clip every day! "(in high pitch) You feel like rock star!"

[@janeyyu9810]

This is exactly the message that I needed, I really admired the way you released the positive energy in your talk. I also can see how hardly you work out to get your body muscles.

[@misskitty4296]

Easy to see how passionate she feels about this! Great talk!

[@INTHESKY016]

Love her arms too. And the talk is so inspiring.

[@joshescobar6043]

keep coming back to this Thank you

[@DalmarSamirlow]

Wooow it's amazing words cannot describe how good this ted talk is. THANK YOU SO MUCH

[@deborahhenderson5219]

I just found you Debi~~ you probably won't see this since this video was 7 years ago~~ got to find a more current video. From one Debi to another Debbie lol....although I like to go by Deb or Deborah thank you!!...Anyway. what a powerhouse of a video~~ just what I needed big time. I'm keeping 92 pounds off for 11 years now, but I'm ready to lose another 10 pounds to my ultimate goal. But....I KEEP SABOTAGING MYSELF~~~ WHEN I GO TO THE GROCERY STORE.....I bring home a couple items plus~~ mainly sugar items....and I'm stuck in the vicious cycle....so sick of this. I need to listen to this a hundred times a day!!

[@yaralahoud712]

Powerful, straightforward, and passionate.

[@kakacech]

The the the the the THE best TedTalk I have ever heard in my entire life! Woman, you are amazing

[@rachelsun3021]

I didn't realize that I need this, but I think I might have needed this

[@KrittinKalra]

Absolutely amazing! And truly an idea worth spreading. Thanks for inspiring all of us Debi :)

[@beam8250]

Great talk! I watch it often to remind me of what really matters. Thank you!

[@krishankantpandey8617]

This video inspired me to keep pushing my limits...and now I am feeling very good and all the chaotic thoughts of my mind has vanished...

[@krishankantpandey8617]

Day 1 of becoming best version of myself...and I will keep posting day by day results All the best to me🙂

[@skirti44]

I love what i am becoming :)

[@amywilkinson9134]

Outgrowing my old self and this helped a lot

[@EDR-ih2fu]

Moreover I share your speech to my husband : he really needs to see you and understand you and my point of view. May continue to inspire oursevelves.

[@globalcat]

She's one of the best speakers, like Brene Brown, I've seen. While I value the messages of many speakers, too many seem like they're speaking a high school theatre monologue. Well done.

[@shawnawhat]

Today is the first day I realized I’m my own worst enemy. So I looked uphow to end self sabotage” and came across this video. I needed this talk. So badly needed it.

[@carisadias3188]

Exactly what i needed to hear!!! this talk was worth every second. Thank You

[@dawnwong9153]

Lovely sharing! Thanks for the reminder: It might be a sign to move on when the pain of the present state became greater than my fear of the unknown

[@unburriedtalents599]

"Swing anyway". I love that because that's pretty much how it goes. That won't look the same for everybody but it is a solution to self-sabotage -- maybe that's why she wasn't specific. I think she's putting us in the mindset to recognize the opportunity to take a leap of faith so that moment is familiar and we will actually do it and not second guess it because it's uncomfortable.

[@tharpeaddy]

The title doesn’t do the video justice. This is the way I feel. This what my summer has been about.

[@laroo56]

Four TTalks in a row, and this was the only one that I really responded to. Wish it was more.

[@profitestpk]

Thank you Debi, that was cool presentation. Now, it is my turn.

[@DavidBrown-dz9pi]

Ive tried to self destruct to the point of intentional death. All i was thinking about. Because i never released shame or guilt about past experiences and grief. I never have noticed my value until recently. I am 21 and was on my way to falling by my own hands. With drugs and alcohol. I have committed myself to a more positive aspects of life recently. Cause i realized i can make a change from the inside. Many trials ive had to face. And im still traumatized. I need to go free myself from this destructive behavior. Cause im breaking my own heart and also others :(

[@DebiSilber]

David-please get the support you need. You're a beautiful soul meant to learn and heal from your experiences.

[@danielfaller5617]

one of the best tedx talks

[@ditty88]

this is the best thing I've heard in a while.

[@eddiecorado1635]

I come back to this once in awhile. Because I started getting treatment for ADHD, started speaking to a therapist once in awhile but I caught on that as soon as I earn a yard and throw myself back at least two yards. I lost 12 pounds, quit my diet gained 14lbs, lost 12 lbs again and I was making progress, got anxious because I noticed the people I clicked with after putting in the work were the opposite of my friends, took two days off workouts, skipped studying, drank more than I had in 3mths. Every beer, I knew I was doing it on purpose. Instead of fuel, my potential feels like an obstacle. But this time, I caught it early, earlier than before don’t know how I noticed it but this time it was a day and some hours, and not weeks or months. 🤷🏽 maybe I’m more self aware but this video helped me awhile ago to keep my mantra and my goals ahead of my comfort level and friends, because sometimes our friends don’t stop being 21.

[@tsich3226]

This really spoke to me!!!! Great Ted Talk!

[@TougeMonSter3]

Needed to hear this

[@LifeisLimitlessItsaChoiceYourC]

Plan to inspire the world with my story...of taking back the confidence I was born to have....

[@ryujenshogun]

Thank you for this Ted talk!

[@diyak2182]

What an incredible speaker! Top marks!

[@ptulip]

I don't people realize what's a bad decision. Bad habits, same ole same ole. Listening to Ted talks help I think, makes people think about choices.

[@railrider1422]

Thanks for the post! I feel the change i want for long time! Just need to brake thru!

[@EDR-ih2fu]

Brillant! Clever and realistic...

[@DebiSilber]

Thanks so much!

[@SMG-ro8ik]

Great message needed to hear it

[@KongLuvs]

She's impressive. One of very few "coaches" I've ever heard speak who I would actually consider paying to work with.

[@sumathybalaji5252]

Good talk. Eye opener

[@trainingxtrish]

KongLuvs why specifically? Just curious, for information sake.

[@Isabela-ic6sy]

What can I say? Amazing,amazing,amazing!!! Thank you so much!!!

[@Laura-we6xi]

Quick important and strong message! Straight to the point.Thanks!

[@TommyScott187]

Wow, Going to watch this tomorrow , the day after ... & so on

[@GirlKaleidoscopeEyes]

Wow this came at the perfect time for me. Thank you

[@NiharikaAcharya77]

Right Video!! At the Right Time!!! Absolutely Inspiring ❤

[@the_irmacita]

I just love you. Thank You for this. Bless you 💖🙏🏼

[@WisdomIsAwesome]

Wow! Just the perspective and clarity I needed about this.

[@Francesco-le6cp]

Brilliant, inspiring, essential. Good Ted

[@KatrinaSawa]

Debi Silber knows her stuff, I've known her for a long time... I highly recommend you follow her if any of this resonates with you. Great talk Debi!

[@RowlandParke]

such a compelling segment. wow

[@jamiecunningham6320]

Fantastic presentation!

[@friendlyfiresyeah]

thanks needed this today!

[@Blessedbeginningbyshradhasingh]

Biggest hurdle for growth

[@liizz2491]

thank you what a speech !!!! it helped me so much

[@suncraft18]

Wow, I absolutely love this!! Great work!

[@Janymatic]

Amazing, I needed this