Stop Sabotaging Yourself | Debi Silber | TEDxFultonStreet

Leading health, mindset and lifestyle coach shares insights about how we become liberated when the pain of where we are exceeds the fear of the unknown. She discusses how we get in the way of our own efforts to improve our health, careers, romances, and other priorities - and shows how adopting a childlike openness can start the virtuous cycle of improvement.
Debi Silber MS, RD, WHC, FDN, CEO of Lifestyle Fitness, Inc. and founder of www.DebiSilber.com is a recognized health, mindset and personal development expert. She’s a speaker, consultant and author of the Amazon #1 bestselling book: The Unshakable Woman: 4 Steps to Rebuilding Your Body, Mind and Life After a Life Crisis, as well as 2 other books recommended by Brian Tracy, Marshall Goldsmith, Jack Canfield and many more. Debi's led countless others to achieve their ultimate body, mind, image and lifestyle; inspiring them to transform into their personal and professional best.
In addition to being a highly credentialed and awarded health expert, Debi has her own line of deliciously healthy nutrition bars and shakes, has also contributed to FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz show, The Huffington Post, Shape, Self, Health, Working Mother, Forbes, Psychology Today, WebMD, Yahoo Shine, Ladies Home Journal, MSN, Woman's World and Glamour to name a few. She regularly speaks at association meetings, corporate events, conferences, Universities and women’s leadership retreats, offering simple solutions that create lasting change physically, emotionally and psychologically.
Debi Silber is THE secret behind some of the healthiest, most influential, charismatic and successful professionals today.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@yagirlxdan]

“That moment where the pain of where you are becomes greater than the fear of the unknown”

[@nellyb.9340]

Exactly, and that’s when you realise that it’s time to drop Excess Baggage because you have realised that the only baggage you really need is self-love because only you know and can carry that baggage as it should be.

[@dylanholmes5411]

There’s a direct quote from the Narcotics Anonymous (12 step) Blue Book that goes as follows: “When the pain of remaining the same outweighs the fear of change, we will surely let go” *Disclaimer* I am not a member of any 12 step program

[@themakingofLatoya]

Whew

[@missjohnsonftj]

✅✅✅

[@rachelwong3474]

🥹

[@sekops100]

And God said “Love your enemy!”, and I obeyed him and loved myself. - Khalil Gibran

[@trainingxtrish]

Frank Christopher 🙏🏻♥️

[@Haze-ku4kf]

Brilliant.

[@Drew_Hurst]

I've never heard that before... but I like it 😛

[@lukedavies2559]

Profound! Thanks for sharing x

[@dannisayseffyou]

wow... quote of the day thank you...

[@GraceJones1]

It's so sad how many ppl self sabotage themselves. I firmly believe, if ppl were more educated towards the power of the human mind and their true potential, we would be living in a whole different world.

[@fitnfab6522]

Kyung Jones most people understand the power of the mind, but some people need a mental boost. it is not easy for some to just get up and go. those who are mentally strong say what you said, but little do you know that some people are deep in their habits, lowest, and isn't simple to get up and go. They need help. Those who lecture like this speaker, need to realize and deeply understand what those who feel stuck are truly mentally experiencing. I find it ignorant for someone to lecture without feeling what others experience deeply. Easier to lecture, but let's help others to a deeper core.

[@Jo71603]

Hi Kyung!

[@Dmgolfer22]

+Fit n Fab she speaks from experience.

[@daynamcmullan5822]

Fit n Fab. This lecturer’s life work is doing just that.

[@moneybuilden]

Kyung Jones ❤️❤️💯💯💯💯

[@DanielSquires]

*You self sabotage as a result of your self image.* Your self image is like the thermostat of your results. keeping your results the same on average, be that your body weight, hygiene, income, health etc. when you make a change at the identity level, it is much easier to take new, better actions consistently

[@lucy111]

Sounds like the Psycho Cybernetics book.

[@hanihatoum2614]

Thank you

[@virginia_in_the_rearview]

Your words are my new mantra....."The risk is great, but the reward is greater!"Thank you for giving me that extra push I needed.

[@ompabaletserametse8643]

How are you doing today?

[@kellieknight2552]

I like that Mantra !!

[@fuckyoumakeart6672]

I hope you failed

[@thecowboy9698]

I think the reason why life has become so complicated, is because of how fast paced everything has become. With everything is fast paced, people can't slow down and think. They can't slow down and evaluate.

[@castleberries]

Very true! 😔

[@herkko1960]

Yeah, I wish I was born in the 1900s and be a soldier in war instead of being on a device and being lazy, I know life is good now, but technology has ruined humanity's tradition.

[@sumo8279]

They've gotten themselves in debt.

[@BadGalKei]

Soooooooo True

[@jack8752]

well thats why im happy its 2020 and the world is on hold

[@monicamonteparte2049]

One of my favorite quotes “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ― Anais Nin

[@virginiataylor2850]

I've been sabotaging myself, & not able to get a handle on it. Thank you! That's it! I understand why now. It's the pain of change, fear. It's the status quo, the comfort zone. It's the fear of pain. Thank you for giving me a clue! There's a reason, or pay off for everything we do or don't do.

[@sacurine]

I didn't know how much this applied to my life until I watched it. This is exactly what I needed.

[@jayjayhayat5871]

This is exactly what I was beating myself up about at 4am and guess what...it appears on my recoms. So grateful

[@BadGalKei]

Me too so True

[@swanne.9]

Same

[@RyRobio]

"It's your message how can anyone hear if you're staying still" I felt that

[@PaperRaines]

I wish I could Love this video on this platform. Change=Loss...... your new life is going to cost you your old one. Man, great talk

[@tremmelrichardson9759]

Eduardo perfectly said👌🏽

[@munroeanthony4004]

@@tremmelrichardson9759 peace

[@johnnni76]

Okay you recognized what self sabotaging is! Bravo! Where are the methods to stop these thoughts! I don’t understand why people post things with no answers! It’s like saying stop smoking because it cancerous, bad for your teeth, bad for your health! News flash they know it’s bad for them but they still smoke! That’s not an answer! An answer would be mediate or whatever! But in order to be up there at a ted talk, please use answers to the questions

[@natalia-uu6hu]

The thing is that everyone needs something different depending on their particular problem, I think she did a great job making people recognize their problems and probably inspired many people to change for the better. In psychology you can't just tell the patient what to do, they have to think of it themselves with your help and they have to be the ones that decide to do it.

[@carmiezaya9849]

I agree completely.

[@nathanramos6685]

"The risks are great but the rewards are even better" awesome quote from an amazing speaker

[@amyfleming4758]

I don’t comment ever. I just had to say that this was amazing. “When the pain of where you are becomes greater than the unknown”. It took me until today to realise that there is nothing wrong with me, I was just self-sabotaging. I’ve recently dropped out of uni and I’m scared to tell anyone. Instead I’ve started to create a blog diary. It’s early days still but so far 😊it’s the only thing in years that has sparked any interest and joy in me. So thank you

[@xxjia2387]

tears in my eyes. I need to hear this so much!!

[@twashpee5110]

I totally agree. Like when my ex friends would make fun of me for reading self help books...I knew I had to cut em off, before i self sabotage to thinking developing myself was lame. I am lonely 😂😂😂 totally worth it! Damn! Her arms are ripped AF

[@DebiSilber]

Hi T, I know it's hard to outgrow friends but I'm sure you're seeing that while it's challenging, you're allowing new, like-minded inspiring friends to flow in. Good for you!

[@Y0shiart2]

Do you want to do! :3

[@ipnotikfromitaly5094]

Change can be very hard and scary, but it's worth it!

[@daynamcmullan5822]

This TALK spoke to every situation in my life now. I need to kick sabotage to the curb! Thank you. I’m going to order your book today too. Losing my remote control was the jumpstart from just surviving to thriving.

[@wizzy1088]

Like i have been sabotaging myself for so long and I didn't even know it now i feel like i need to change myself and leave the old self who i am comfortable with and change myself altogether

[@tashaislosingweight1068]

This is sooo much.. for years and years and years I have self sabatoged..... even walked to the edge, ready to jump, but i didnt... it took my bestfriend dying last year, for me to jump. i am filled with guilt, and regret, and fear.. but I jumped .. and im jumping.. pray for me please.. I have a l ot of weight to get off ... but im going to do it...

[@sickid41]

If you want to talk you can reply to my messages. How have you been been.

[@angelassembeguya5061]

tasha IsLosingWeight Don’t worry stay strong keep your head high, you can do this, you can change your thoughts and be great. God bless 😘

[@ananascarpenter]

You can do it Tasha!

[@sunitgogoi]

Sister do some yoga, gratitude and medication........

[@lazerarrow3680]

I wish you well do not stop

[@magpieonline4801]

Something I'm learning...when you come to the path to change, take the path and don't talk about it. Simply do it. You can't be worried about the opinions of others if you don't confide in them. You can't self-sabotage if you're the only one who knows the path exists. Chase that inspiration and potential with abandon. I have literally come to the point where I only share my goals with a select few people and it's usually after I start changing. It's really starting to put me in a place where I feel like my potential is limitless because I'm not held back or sabotaging myself with the concerns for other people in my life. Their opinions don't matter. My transformation does.

[@iraamelia9526]

❤

[@eddiecorado1635]

I come back to this once in awhile. Because I started getting treatment for ADHD, started speaking to a therapist once in awhile but I caught on that as soon as I earn a yard and throw myself back at least two yards. I lost 12 pounds, quit my diet gained 14lbs, lost 12 lbs again and I was making progress, got anxious because I noticed the people I clicked with after putting in the work were the opposite of my friends, took two days off workouts, skipped studying, drank more than I had in 3mths. Every beer, I knew I was doing it on purpose. Instead of fuel, my potential feels like an obstacle. But this time, I caught it early, earlier than before don’t know how I noticed it but this time it was a day and some hours, and not weeks or months. 🤷🏽 maybe I’m more self aware but this video helped me awhile ago to keep my mantra and my goals ahead of my comfort level and friends, because sometimes our friends don’t stop being 21.

[@sheeranlover4224]

I’m 23 letting past demons and current insecurities do just this, I needed to hear this and just in time

[@sabrinamartino849]

This video is grossly unviewed and underrated! Thank you for making me feel powerful and confident!

[@matthewmartin784]

Absolutely perfect. Exactly what I needed at this moment. Truly an amazing Ted talk. Thank you!

[@danl1519]

Matthew Martin pus

[@chandrikaiyer6514]

Thank you. So inspiring.🙏

[@alancohen1935]

I strongly second that emotion!

[@SabineFonderson]

I agree that by stopping doing things that are good for your mind and body you go back into the world of sabotage I used to go to the gym, eat healthy and since I stopped I can pinpoint the day that it made me lose focus in myself, my work and my reality I’m saying everyday I will go back to the gym and eat healthy again...

[@mattpassos5689]

DO IT SABINE I BELIEVE IN YOU

[@SuperGorak]

Still brings pain to me know that if I ever start seeking self-fulfillment, I will start making a lot of people in my life feel really inadequate and insecure. To them it's ridiculous that you don't settle for just good enough. I feel really guilty and sad whenever I start feeling good about myself, so I do things that make me feel sometimes bad but mostly neutral about myself. But it used to be far worse, so there's improvement already.

[@JessicaRuiz323]

You better not stop. Life is all about growing.

[@lillypooh83]

Change is exactly what I'm facing, currently in my life. I sabotaged myself so much in the past that I just can't do it anymore. "Headed to the top so, that I can get a better view". -Saweetie

[@tanyam2701]

Truly an idea worth spreading. Her level of clarity and understanding of the world is incredible.

[@thebetbetunderground9548]

Truly impactful. Other than just commenting something useless like "I think I know her from some hair metal band", I actually had something to express. She speaks with intensity, she persuades truthfully and her message is loud, direct and on-point. If she doesn't end up really changing my life or doing anything significant to me, at least she was able to give me a brief feeling of belief in myself that I can still do something about my life, which is actually not a trivial thing in my context. Just to have a little sign of life in me is good enough for me, for now.

[@purityrefinedbyfire]

Caverman Yes! To feel that aliveness is not so far away. Is exciting and I really felt your comment thank you!😉

[@weepingwillow-ud6xl]

I believe you should have said heavy metal as apposed to 'hair metal band' as you put. That's what the three dots on the right-hand side are for to edit after posting.

[@camryn5830]

Truly inspiring, one of my favorite TEDx's of all time.

[@SA-ww1ge]

its very difficult to let go of people you've outgrown but the best thing for yourself. It takes a lot to do this and not easy, I have no one in my life from the past and I'm very grateful.

[@alancohen1935]

One of the best and most relevant talks I've heard in a long time. What she said and who she seems to be is an inspiration to make the most of ourselves despite obstacles - including sabotaging ourselves.

[@debbiewilley9428]

Bingo! Wish I had heard this 30-40 years ago. Great information.

[@ManishKumar-gb7yf]

One of the best Tedx Talks I have ever listened to, especially when I needed it.

[@daminivalecha3140]

Nothing could have Helped me more than this! Grateful!!

[@deborahhenderson5219]

I just found you Debi~~ you probably won't see this since this video was 7 years ago~~ got to find a more current video. From one Debi to another Debbie lol....although I like to go by Deb or Deborah thank you!!...Anyway. what a powerhouse of a video~~ just what I needed big time. I'm keeping 92 pounds off for 11 years now, but I'm ready to lose another 10 pounds to my ultimate goal. But....I KEEP SABOTAGING MYSELF~~~ WHEN I GO TO THE GROCERY STORE.....I bring home a couple items plus~~ mainly sugar items....and I'm stuck in the vicious cycle....so sick of this. I need to listen to this a hundred times a day!!

[@reenspace1301]

Take a leap of faith and move in direction of well being ..Great talk

[@LifeisLimitlessItsaChoiceYourC]

I can relate with Margo . LIfe has a way to show you that we are meant for more ---health, success, great relationship. Let go of the negative past and get your groove back and be high on life!

[@doctornalini]

Brilliant, Compassionate and A Woman Who Walks Her Talk!

[@tharpeaddy]

The title doesn’t do the video justice. This is the way I feel. This what my summer has been about.

[@skirti44]

I love what i am becoming :)

[@Lilith-jn8gz]

Thank you! It is inspiring, I have tried to start my bussiness as a photographer and I keep avoiding it! I didn’t know why, but I start asking, why? Why? Why? I have everything you start. And yesterday I have an enlightenment, and now I am here. It’s not because I don't like it, or i am not good enough, it’s because I am scared of change, let go

[@boitumeloletsuma2406]

This lady is speaking to me!! Literally everything I have been going through and growing through over the past few months. I am even more certain now that I'm heading in the right direction. Thank you so much mam

[@jessgrisel9277]

I go back to this talk, every time I feel like I am about too self-sabotage. I keep telling myself, you never know if you do not try. And who knows, maybe things will turn out better than you realize. It hard to put yourself out of your comfort zone, but you can let the fear of the unknown control your life.

[@KrittinKalra]

Absolutely amazing! And truly an idea worth spreading. Thanks for inspiring all of us Debi :)

[@DavidBrown-dz9pi]

Ive tried to self destruct to the point of intentional death. All i was thinking about. Because i never released shame or guilt about past experiences and grief. I never have noticed my value until recently. I am 21 and was on my way to falling by my own hands. With drugs and alcohol. I have committed myself to a more positive aspects of life recently. Cause i realized i can make a change from the inside. Many trials ive had to face. And im still traumatized. I need to go free myself from this destructive behavior. Cause im breaking my own heart and also others :(

[@DebiSilber]

David-please get the support you need. You're a beautiful soul meant to learn and heal from your experiences.

[@KongLuvs]

She's impressive. One of very few "coaches" I've ever heard speak who I would actually consider paying to work with.

[@sumathybalaji5252]

Good talk. Eye opener

[@trainingxtrish]

KongLuvs why specifically? Just curious, for information sake.

[@suncraft18]

Wow, I absolutely love this!! Great work!

[@beam8250]

Great talk! I watch it often to remind me of what really matters. Thank you!

[@krishankantpandey8617]

This video inspired me to keep pushing my limits...and now I am feeling very good and all the chaotic thoughts of my mind has vanished...

[@krishankantpandey8617]

Day 1 of becoming best version of myself...and I will keep posting day by day results All the best to me🙂

[@joshescobar6043]

keep coming back to this Thank you

[@janeyyu9810]

This is exactly the message that I needed, I really admired the way you released the positive energy in your talk. I also can see how hardly you work out to get your body muscles.

[@Nwaina]

Made me cry

[@QueXLcior]

me too

[@katyarevenko9240]

Anima Nwaina same

[@carisadias3188]

Exactly what i needed to hear!!! this talk was worth every second. Thank You

[@yaralahoud712]

Powerful, straightforward, and passionate.

[@kakacech]

The the the the the THE best TedTalk I have ever heard in my entire life! Woman, you are amazing

[@railrider1422]

Thanks for the post! I feel the change i want for long time! Just need to brake thru!

[@SuperRandomrap]

I just love her high pitched voice! It always brightens my day to listen to her voice in this clip every day! "(in high pitch) You feel like rock star!"

[@rachelsun3021]

I didn't realize that I need this, but I think I might have needed this

[@INTHESKY016]

Love her arms too. And the talk is so inspiring.

[@violak8799]

Waw, that is amazing ,this video has touched me a lot. Am in that phase in life were things are finally getting to happen,especially this week. I saw myself starting to sabotage and this time round I recognised it,and am fighting to stay focus and just jump. Its actually isn't that easy,but I decided I am jumping regardless. Thank you.

[@2Oldcoots]

True at 5:50 and she successfully describes the key decision point! Well done Ms. Silber....Well done!

[@NiharikaAcharya77]

Right Video!! At the Right Time!!! Absolutely Inspiring ❤

[@laroo56]

Four TTalks in a row, and this was the only one that I really responded to. Wish it was more.

[@shawnawhat]

Today is the first day I realized I’m my own worst enemy. So I looked uphow to end self sabotage” and came across this video. I needed this talk. So badly needed it.

[@amywilkinson9134]

Outgrowing my old self and this helped a lot

[@meiti4491]

Thank you so much! that was (right in my face)incredible

[@misskitty4296]

Easy to see how passionate she feels about this! Great talk!

[@BigDaddy-zi3op]

Thank you for this! I have been feeling pretty numb lately and I am ready to snap out of it, make stronger decisions and move on. I actually believe I may have outgrown my friends, because most of the stuff they like now really doesn't appeal to me. I need a stronger, exhilarating challenge for me to come out of my own self-doubt and max out my self-esteem and I am looking for it.

[@WisdomIsAwesome]

Wow! Just the perspective and clarity I needed about this.

[@Isabela-ic6sy]

What can I say? Amazing,amazing,amazing!!! Thank you so much!!!

[@23.aiminhnhat18]

I started following the Forwago workout sessions day after day and it hasn't just changed my body, but positively impacted my mental health and made me a new me..

[@FahadAyoub]

This one is awesome... It's exactly what i needed to hear

[@tsich3226]

This really spoke to me!!!! Great Ted Talk!

[@shradhasingh-wf9si]

Biggest hurdle for growth

[@emilystanzione925]

Thank you for this! I needed it

[@yolandayoung6519]

I LOVE YOUR ARMS!!!!!!!!!

[@Corrans]

Yes, my thoughts exactly!!!!!

[@Jo71603]

Hi Yolanda!

[@platinum10000]

hey, thanks a lot!

[@jeffrey64]

So does she, she's worked hard for them!

[@xmantoo7699]

And i love u too

[@EDR-ih2fu]

Moreover I share your speech to my husband : he really needs to see you and understand you and my point of view. May continue to inspire oursevelves.

[@GirlKaleidoscopeEyes]

Wow this came at the perfect time for me. Thank you

[@foodiermacita]

I just love you. Thank You for this. Bless you 💖🙏🏼

[@azucarweber2456]

one if my favorite TEDTALK....❤️

[@user-ei7ib9vu6l]

Wooow it's amazing words cannot describe how good this ted talk is. THANK YOU SO MUCH

[@Femalelroom]

this is one of my favorite ones ever!!!

[@profitestpk]

Thank you Debi, that was cool presentation. Now, it is my turn.

[@lizzyhungary]

Loved this talk! Thank you!

[@lesleylynch4580]

Just want I needed to hear! thank you ❤

[@ryujenshogun]

Thank you for this Ted talk!

[@KatrinaSawa]

Debi Silber knows her stuff, I've known her for a long time... I highly recommend you follow her if any of this resonates with you. Great talk Debi!

[@TaraWagner]

So much helpful insight! Couldn't have said it anyyyy better myself!

[@LifeisLimitlessItsaChoiceYourC]

Plan to inspire the world with my story...of taking back the confidence I was born to have....

[@karenvito1811]

Way to go Debi! Love this :) xo

[@Laura-we6xi]

Quick important and strong message! Straight to the point.Thanks!

[@RedFeather11]

Beautiful talk! Thank you so much for being an inspiration and motivation!

[@sylviacanchangeworld]

Thank you for this. Awesome.

[@Janymatic]

Amazing, I needed this

[@ditty88]

this is the best thing I've heard in a while.

[@ElectroShockMedina]

This was an eye opening message and a powerful one. Thank you for these words 🙌

[@kamif3187]

Great talk! Your arms proving you have been working hard, you know what you talk about... great job! Thanks for sharing.

[@diyak2182]

What an incredible speaker! Top marks!