I Read Satan Was A Lesbian

[@STRANGEONS]

I heard somewhere that gays love pins . . . strange-aeons.myshopify.com/

[@bananasare_revolting]

Yes, yes we do

[@beth641]

oh my god flashback to middle school when my girlfriend and i had to message on pinterest because her parents hated me

[@carolinebilletdoux3091]

Gays do love a good pin

[@ravensunstar5620]

How is everyone so early!!! WTF

[@bananasare_revolting]

@@ravensunstar5620 I don't know either- I have been blessed with the notification early though

[@OneTopic]

I saw the cover and was sure it wasn’t real...

[@supercatgirl1000]

Wait One Topic you’re here?? And I get to be your third like and first reply?? I feel honored

[@TarantulaR08]

Hello, this is the one place that you’re safe from the click, we won’t say you’re here

[@chada4806]

Hello there! funny seeing you here! Take this *virtual hug* (if you so chose) :D

[@battyhatty]

And you were oh so wrong

[@thatworm6936]

That’s how it be sometimes

[@swimmerzo]

dont ask lesbians who's the man in the relationship, ask us which one is sharlene

[@swimmerzo]

its not top and bottom, its sharlene and cynthia

[@helltubejackie1086]

Who wears the lesbian suit and who wear the other lesbian suit

[@pastelribbons739]

@@swimmerzo it’s whos possessed by satan and whos also possessed by satan

[@KaylaNoelle1]

I was going to like this comment until I noticed that it has 666 likes. I just couldn't be the person to ruin that.

[@elysiantree1052]

*Charlene lol

[@thetypewriter3526]

the real satan were the lesbians we dated along the way

[@day-jay1630]

oH MY GOD

[@Carollnn]

Thank you. I had no idea how much I needed this comment.

[@baalbub.3772]

Y E S. OH MY GOD This comment

[@damienspencer2088]

So true!

[@meat_doughnuts3457]

Tiffany Fire Blade ah. I too am young teen. But I still relate to this comment.

[@TenjoTengeCT]

"Charlene had the urge to howl like a coyote , she nearly succumbed to the urge to emit a wolf whistle" Charlene really said AWOOGA to that poor girl damn

[@ef1876]

@@veronicarubio7283 the nightmare fanfic is writing itself

[@bimich7339]

@Plsh P0n it already is as furry as it should be

[@moononthewindynight27]

On all levels except physical, she was a wolf xD

[@nikkigacha7038]

THIS BROKE ME IM I cANT

[@peacefulleopard8016]

Why a coyote though? Coyotes are the smaller, less cool cousins to wolves. Like wolves would be howling in an awesome way and then the scene is interrupted by the little coyote saying she’s bored and wants to go home and then falling over.

[@DMcG1889]

This book is like a screaming argument between someone trying to write gay erotica and my great grandfather, who is also the publisher and won’t let them leave in any of the fun stuff.

[@nathan-lf7yc]

Fuck you mean theres no fun stuff? Theres plenty of fun

[@shgds]

Legder

[@sexhaver6953]

@here we go now p f f t-

[@chelsjones]

I read over this quickly and got REALLY scared that your grandfather had actually written this fucking thing odndijdjd

[@twebster179]

@@chelsjones SAME.lol

[@iwanttobelieve9593]

*looks at lesbian couple* so... who’s the delicate wallflower and who’s the literal embodiment of Satan?

[@frogoverlord3471]

the likes are 420 by the time I reply this

[@v5xb3rryxe]

The likes have doubled at the time I replied to this

[@L_ser_]

Why is that an accurate representation though

[@freaking_out]

It’s like the sun and moon thing lmaoooooooo

[@sunseth3849]

Can I be both? I was trying to go for the embodiment of satan look but I always sound like a 13 year old kid :(

[@kiara-kh7nh]

Charlene is on her third playthrough of an rpg and is just picking the funniest dialogue options

[@tsukurikata774]

*Me on my 100th playthrough of Persona 5 Royal*

[@ravenzaphara5513]

i think you're on to something.

[@emaguiar6430]

Charlene has started playing Bitlife

[@cartoondeathnoises8756]

@@tsukurikata774 beep boop

[@tsukurikata774]

@@cartoondeathnoises8756 Makoto best girl.

[@laraweinberg7635]

Cynthia declaring she's in love with Charlene less than a week into knowing her is the most accurate lesbian representation I've ever heard

[@Picking.a.name.is.hard1]

*MOOD*

[@bubbleslot]

The two modes of lesbian "I've known you for less than a week and I want to marry you and your dog/cat/lizard/frog is now *our* dog/cat/lizard/frog" or "hey I've known you pretty much my entire life, we basically live at each other's houses, shower together, and cuddle every night, I think...that I love you. 👉👈"

[@ackity]

it's literally me with my gf, we started dating within a WEEK of knowing eachother and bam, it's been a month

[@deen7530]

@@ackity Ayy same. I developed a huge crush after talking to her for an hour, and asked her out a week later.

[@20000dino]

@@bubbleslot I feel like us (boy) gays are the exact opposite. Tell us your secrets, lesbians

[@JulietteVeronica1201]

Intention of the book: Homophobic. Outcome of the book: Homoerotic.

[@GunnarTobus]

*You have become the very thing you swore to destroy.*

[@urfavoritefurry4368]

AHAHAHAHAHHAAA YOU CANT DEFEAT US PUBLISHERS

[@greyscaleadaven]

Nowadays it's heteronormative but in fan culture it's the same thing anyways Pog

[@magsh1522]

i want to like this comment but it’s currently at 666 and i feel like that’s very fitting

[@afuntasia1425]

Also applies for Dean Winchester

[@bee6035]

Satan was a lesbian really sounds like a rock album

[@GunnarTobus]

Sounds like something Grateful Dead would write. And my dad and I would probably listen to it.

[@k.morningstar7983]

sounds like a *Twin Temple* song

[@realstrangewabbit]

and it's a rock album i'd listen to lmao

[@urfavoritefurry4368]

It does

[@acreativename7999]

OH ITS GONNA BE ONE NOW

[@mcspudster5289]

Modern plumbing is a MUST when it comes to romance.

[@rayg.7861]

Im only three minutes in but I agree

[@imnotreallyjess4318]

@@rayg.7861 i see you have your priorities in place

[@roelcortez785]

i mean could you imagine going to hook up at someone's house and you go to clean yourself and there's just a bucket and old towel.

[@nyumyu4265]

@@roelcortez785 Lol y’all wipe?

[@Rabbit-the-One]

In these modern times, one simply must. 🧐

[@Noahhhhhhh10]

I just misread "Satan Was a Lesbian" as "We Stan a Lesbian"

[@nnnnmhughuuhhjiijj9457]

How did you even manage to.....?

[@Noahhhhhhh10]

@@nnnnmhughuuhhjiijj9457 sleep deprivation

[@unicornburgers302]

We Stan satan in this house

[@lufeitosa9744]

as yall should

[@justyouraverageblackstar3672]

@Unicorn Burgers Ok, that’s going a little too far.

[@frostyenderman13]

"You can write all the raunchy gay sex as you want, as long as the moral at the end is that it's bad!" I just........ Publisher: Hey man, I'm on chapter 19, and this book has been nothing but hot gay sex. I can't publish this. Author: Lmao lemme just write one last chapter where they both spontaneously explode. Publisher: That works for me!

[@Sophia-vk5bq]

Me "The perfect ending to every sex book."

[@meanyapickles]

Reminds me of the post with the 1400's conversation about all the Catholic Church art like Priest: "This statue of Lucifer is awfully sexual" The artist: **sweating** Ah well, that's because lust is a sin Father Priest: Oh wow, oh that's genius. Can we get you to do the ceilings?"

[@Sophia-vk5bq]

@@meanyapickles Priest takes the guy to a side room "Can you make me a 12 year old version for my chambers, no questions asked? And if there are questions asked, he's 18." Artist "Well, um. Haha I'll get back to you on that. Later." Priest "Later then." Artist "Right after Hell freezes over."

[@codalong]

@@meanyapickles the funny part is, after they decided Jozef Geefs' version was too sexy, they commissioned his brother (Guillaume Geefs) to make a "better" version... and the brother made a statue that was both *more satanic* and *more seductive* safdgndsefhdg

[@TwofoldEthics]

@@Sophia-vk5bq Sincerest apologies, I don't typically compliment people, but I think your hair looks nice

[@justDiana247]

Stop asking who's the top and who's the bottom in the relationship. Instead, ask who's Charlene and who's Cyntia.

[@SkylerDemness]

OH GOD XDD

[@asunflower7993]

OMG yea

[@unknownarmy8744]

What if you're a Charlene but your name is Cynthia?

[@greensun0008]

@@unknownarmy8744 find your cynthia who's name is charlene

[@justDiana247]

@@unknownarmy8744 So power bottom?

[@abbywolffe4114]

Teya not realizing that between her ex-Catholicism and possibly possessed long furby, and Charlene's description down to the exact height, the resemblance is uncanny

[@soothingbreakdown9878]

When I heard the first bit of the description (face) I immediately thought of her. She's so goddamn beautiful

[@aegisScale]

Looks like this book is portentous.

[@d.lan3y]

I fell like that spiked collar she wore one time was pretty on-brand too. And just how gotdam beautiful she is.

[@Hyacinth77]

Thursday is def possessed

[@blarg2429]

@@Hyacinth77 Thursday is not possessed. Thursday posseses others.

[@quirkyblackenby]

I can't believe Charlene just basically called herself Daddy in a book from the 60's. Wow. Iconic.

[@gachasins699]

It's from the 60's?!

[@KyleRayner12]

@@gachasins699 Copyright date is 1966, so yep!

[@twebster179]

That has been a thing...

[@abbymorrison3097]

Yes!! The use of "Daddy" in a sexual connotation has been around since the 1600s! Prostitutes would use it to refer to older customers or pimps. Kinda fascinating, kinda creepy.

[@ashikjaman1940]

@@abbymorrison3097 wow I hate the 1600s

[@annawesometheflameingpikac3688]

Of course God's most beautiful, perfect creation would be a mean lesbian

[@loladoee]

this comment is kind of adorable

[@mcgoose258]

I read that as "male lesbian" and pictured Satan as a smirking Eddie Izzard and that...oddly...kind of works really well

[@swampmermaid3081]

I don't know why I cackled at "the Gates of Hell are waiting, Cynthia." The writer just writes it undramatically and in a casual tone. Maybe that's why. Lmao.

[@v-mouse]

I could not recreate the Sound that I made when I heard this. Something like a disapointed laugh?

[@marijafrankovic1959]

Just read it in a New jersey accent its 100 times better

[@heckandahalf1634]

As a gay named Cynthia, you don't know how I cackled lol

[@thenonoffensivedemonunicor8471]

This feels like a revenge fic written by a gay girl who was told she was going to hell one many times and I am here for it.

[@electrademe4485]

I can’t unsee it now-

[@arandomcomment1092]

Aka me

[@urfavoritefurry4368]

Omg yes I love that-

[@estellacorduroy5259]

lil nas x, a gay brother: *takes notes*

[@Xeraghusta]

Problem: it was written by a guy.

[@spacetrashfallingdown]

What I'm getting from the beginning is that Charlene is like an atheist who dresses in black and has a tarot deck. Cynthia was raised as a Christian and has hots for edgy people. She sees Charlene and immediately thinks: "she's gonna be my goth gf". And Charlene's like "I guess I'm a goth girlfriend now???"

[@izabella1129]

Also, Charlene: "call me daddy"

[@hannahleigh6152]

Ooooo modern retelling

[@existential.crisis.personified]

Looking particularly gay today, lesbian mother. Very proud.

[@teatrice6905]

X to agree

[@saturn6413]

As one of our dearest Lesbian Mother's Gaylings, I aspire to dress like her one day 🥰

[@biancawolter8029]

@@deeji6098 0 la. La la El. L0 me

[@voidify3]

"She forgot that female wolves exist" wow omegaverse queen

[@julietf3360]

LMFAOOO

[@stankylegg2413]

BYE

[@cityfey]

i HATE THIS thank you have a wonderful day

[@cmcshane2740]

This is the only thing that could have made the book worse

[@idandelion8814]

You mean *EVERY BL EVER* haha not like I read them or anything haha 😆 😅

[@parrotstories]

“That man inside... literally Satan” honestly the best line I’ve ever heard

[@steveboy3712]

what if he was literally hitler, what if was literally hitler and was trying to kill us?

[@adoellex8000]

@@steveboy3712 *Intro plays*

[@bananasare_revolting]

@@steveboy3712 I love your reference

[@jassange2921]

Holy crap.

[@colostomybag9201]

That's the saddest thing I heard in a month

[@kevincanavan2440]

Can we make “the gates of hell are waiting, Cynthia” into the pass phrase that gays use to identify each other?

[@ThomasJefferson-xc8wg]

yes

[@kevincanavan2440]

@@ThomasJefferson-xc8wg agreed with me that means it’s constitutional

[@neriumdelusion]

I also agree to this

[@redballoon9007]

“Is she a...y’know....Cynthia?”

[@thelightingavenger]

So we’ve gone from friends of dorthy to bouncer at the gates of hell? Sure let’s do it

[@Aspensauce64]

Satan: “WELCOME TO ETERNAL DAMNA-“ “do u listen to girl in red? 👉👈😳”

[@pissapocalypse]

🎶They're so pretty with their button up shirts ooooooooohhhh🎶

[@priya8855]

No,but I do listen to sweater weather😌

[@haveagoodmourning]

Strawberry Blonde folks where u at

[@tabasum4087]

girlinred is lesbophobic :(

[@priya8855]

@@tabasum4087 pardon?😀

[@bubuland12]

the devil is a hey mamas lesbian and thats the most terrifying thing ever

[@skyepapa]

WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREAMED-

[@Crabby-Abby]

I am losing my MIND how dare you

[@snazzydeadbeat3454]

Are you lost baby girl~

[@kasvimethi7497]

i now cannot unsee it

[@Elle-cy3eu]

@@snazzydeadbeat3454 i hate you. i hate you so much. how dare you inflict this on my eyeballs.

[@byrontheusurper6505]

"Charlene works at a drive-in." I guess the devil really IS a part-timer.

[@gr1mxbunn190]

I love this

[@RicardoMoralesMassin]

hey-ooooooh! I understood that reference ...

[@erisnixx7404]

human of culture

[@Dappis]

Pulp novels are just english light novels

[@yvannoss]

Yessss

[@steamenginealchemist7109]

Cynthia: Experiencing a full mental breakdown bc she murdered people Charlene: Can I offer you a tiddie in this trying time?

[@MoonchildDontCry]

Honestly that's the best way to console someone.

[@Nuke_Gunray]

@@MoonchildDontCry fr fr

[@BassicallyKiyash]

😭

[@kendalm550]

I need a t-shirt that says "I'm part of the lesbian illuminati"

[@ethamatronic8381]

Me too tbh

[@spooky6703]

Il-lesbi-nati

[@rainbowwwkim]

PLEASE

[@solomonbeeching175]

Do a i sense new merch?

[@kanra_yepitme]

merch merch merch merch

[@eggonbread7054]

When you write a novel with an anti-lesbian message but you end up making all the lesbians atheist and into bdsm

[@midnight8341]

That sounds like most lesbians I know...

[@Alex_Barbosa]

It's pretty difficult to be gay AND christian for obvious reasons lol

[@alex_gal02]

When the homophobe makes you gay: How the turntables-

[@one_smol_duck]

"She had forgotten that there are females of all species, including wolves." Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh what

[@imhappy7632]

As a person who's very into animal biology, this hurt

[@2goblinsinatrenchcoat]

Well gee, I learned something today

[@timucinharkonnen2699]

No, wolves are always male and cats are always female. Duh! Only if the cat is a lion, than of course it's male. :P

[@yungkim5834]

@@timucinharkonnen2699 that makes so much sense omg 😱

[@catie5403]

My species is female

[@Shamble_Slowly]

"Revenge Threesome 2: the Foursome". As an asexual, this is generally my understanding of how all relationships work.

[@diamondfox1178]

Ace Gang!

[@mammoneymelon]

ME

[@theab3957]

Lol. Same though

[@thefernprince]

as an allo i am still confused as hell

[@alicentology]

Lol, same

[@vimbert]

Charlene is just nonstop Chad energy, in both positive and negative connotations

[@soon_to_emerge]

Chadlene

[@theab3957]

@@soon_to_emerge omg

[@starcomet8312]

@@soon_to_emerge PFFT-

[@rowanheart8122]

Chadlene

[@i.m1ss.y0u.s0.f4r]

it’s official, the name Charlene is the girl version of Chad

[@pluto9822]

“satan was a lesbian” i mean at least i’ll have a girlfriend...in hell

[@satan9487]

hi

[@pearlhouzuki2507]

@@satan9487 hey

[@CassBeWary6]

@@satan9487 how is it dealing with [insert famous dead person that I don’t like here]

[@avi_ash_hart]

@@satan9487 Hi

[@satan9487]

@@CassBeWary6 oh we just transfer them to heaven, I'd like to keep hell pure.

[@helheim8028]

Christianity head cannon after finding out Lucifer was a lesbian god kicked him out of heaven out of anger knowing that his love for him could never work

[@guitarfrog3674]

Nothing could have prepared me from the whiplash of reading ‘Christian head cannon’

[@Creature7777]

This is true poetry. Reminds me of something apollo would think of and say

[@Grimmbros1214]

@@guitarfrog3674 i mean it makes sense because the word “canon” actually comes from christianity

[@mslightbulb]

Beautiful.

[@demonprincess5714]

I ' m

[@GrayYeonWannabe]

"turn around, little butch" holy shit this is the best book ever written for this line alone

[@Sailormac2]

“Turn around, butch eyes!” “Every now and then I fall apart!”

[@TamaCinema69]

“I have come to inquire about some homosexual activity” is a dope pickup line

[@amygillfolk]

i will be using that in the future i hope

[@Loki-pz1uk]

I want it on a tshirt

[@severalcakes3267]

Catch me in the bar picking up girls with the line, “Why don’t you come to my place? I have... cutting edge plumbing.”

[@Robiness]

I'd be propably too caught up in trying to figure out if that's some kind of elaborate innuendo to respond lol

[@maybemablemaples2144]

Ngl good water pressure is hard to find.

[@thereadyset21400]

“Tall Satan possessed women unite.” Me: *immediately thinks of my 5’10 girlfriend that calls herself god 20 times a day*

[@aanyaprasad6120]

69 likes, perfect

[@blueshell292]

She does WHAT and do you need help

[@thereadyset21400]

@@blueshell292 I’m all good. She just has a god complex.

[@sakuraogami6885]

@@thereadyset21400 wait um why? Do I have to punch someone to protect

[@thereadyset21400]

@@sakuraogami6885 debatable 😅

[@bigoreoenergy3123]

I felt like this needs to be adapted to a film but this time it's either directed by an actual lesbian or a LGBT+ ally. I really love that title.

[@midgematic8659]

I would single handedly get that movie into the green with how many times I would watch that film in theaters

[@genner-vincenthodgson5177]

Honestly as a genderfluid writer(who at one time seriously identified as a lesbian), I would have an absolute FIELD DAY if I could help write a show or a movie reboot

[@comixproviderftw_02]

Just get a couple of Film College students and make a short film out of this.

[@urfavoritefurry4368]

YES

[@DejectedJester]

All the actors have to be drunk when their on camera

[@k80_]

Why are we all in the exact same KZbin circle of like buzzfeed unsolved and sarah z and philosophy tube why is this lesbian culture

[@arandomcomment1092]

I consider Olly an honorary lesbian. He's related to Anne Fitzroy, a badass sapphic, _and_ he was born on the day the Lesbian Avengers formed!

[@evankimsey7867]

Because......... The Ghoul boys

[@m0rior]

Idk but same and stan Sarah z

[@Speederzzz]

Cause olly makes me feel gay in an enby way

[@aceofspades3667]

@@Speederzzz who's this olly person? They sound like someone I'd admire

[@FSEThompson]

"The gates of Hell are open" is she. is she talking about her....

[@thelolitasystem6403]

Gee, thanks for that perspective

[@reithegay609]

Oh. Oh god. OH GOD WHY

[@urfavoritefurry4368]

Oh hell nawwwww

[@butterbubbles5375]

I did not have to hear this ;-;

[@darthsombra2102]

Gigity

[@victorthevampire4129]

One is dangerous and the other is afraid of everything,,,,,,,isnt this just twilight but gay?

[@КсенияСелезнева-р7ф]

or like... Gentleman Jack?

[@sghsht]

But this time Kristen Stewart is playing Edward

[@greyscaleadaven]

wdym twilight was gay, unless I was watching it wrong and jacob and edward weren't fighting an entire war over a girl to baird for the fact that they're gay for each other....

[@sadiehubble7084]

And with Satan?

[@minor4890]

actually if you read the twilight books you'd see that bella is not only nOT afraid of everything, she is so UNafraid of everything to the point of nearly killing herself countless times throughout the saga

[@nemuineko5341]

Get you a partner that shows off their MODERN PLUMBING on the first date.

[@dimentio1030]

@Johnny Money oh boy, the word "heating" is pulling some massive work keeping that sentence okay; I skipped that one word and damn near had a heart attack

[@turmericchai9]

It was written in the 1960s

[@Picking.a.name.is.hard1]

Mario and Peach ahhh date😂

[@scarykloky519]

How do we not acknowledge the line “turn around little butch?” Like i literary choked on that line but no one pays attention to it?!

[@lunarmy1336]

EXACTLY

[@quilla75]

where???

[@coratheneutralmilkhotelfan2131]

It’s so incredible, whoever wrote this book was a genius.

[@wolfiegamerhowls4]

23:28

[@paradoxic7869]

I'm dying now that I've heard that.

[@bekkayya]

"she would blink often in this relationship" wild. Someday I hope to have my own lesbian relationship in which I blink. Inspiring stuff.

[@sayven]

"She was to blink often in her relationship with Charlene"

[@amelianekomimi1936]

I, also too, blink lots infront of my partner. Also this reminds me of twilight - b ella having to learn to blink and breathe while a vampire. 1O/1O

[@asunflower7993]

I blink to

[@TamaCinema69]

@@asunflower7993 woah

[@MinatheRaichu]

Uh, yeah. I sure hope she does.

[@briannamcfarland5974]

Major Belinda Blinked vibes from that line

[@SM-yz4hi]

Pulp novels are just 1960’s fan fiction

[@Adam-jc5tw]

Yes

[@shelbyrobert2234]

that’s what I was thinking

[@Rain-np7tk]

Yes.

[@starcomet8312]

Absolutely

[@theab3957]

You're not wrong

[@comixproviderftw_02]

Satan be like; "I'm not like most girls."

[@brainard8211]

I'm not like the other girls, I possess all the lesbians

[@funybirbman3813]

@@brainard8211 I'm not LIKE all the other girls, I AM ALL THE OTHER GIRLS

[@tylerwashington5625]

Uhhh can I ask for the source of your icon

[@comixproviderftw_02]

@@tylerwashington5625 Superior Iron Man #4 cover

[@lexizzaz]

@@comixproviderftw_02 i love that suit so much, shame we'll never see it in the mcu ):

[@rachel7815]

When you live in a small town with like one other gay person: "Hello I hear you are Charlene and I have come to inquire about homosexual activity" 7:00

[@greyscaleadaven]

Honestly as token smalltown gay, this... Like that and DL/straight??? people make up most of gay culture in smalltowns

[@jbean5082]

I clicked on this and audibly said satan was a WHAT-

[@asunflower7993]

Lol what

[@QJ89]

What's funny is that I remember seeing this cover and thinking it was outdated propaganda. Considering this was written by a dude (or a lady using a male name), it very well could be!

[@jbean5082]

@@QJ89 what

[@gowonsorbitch7293]

QJ89 it was written by a dude?

[@QJ89]

@@gowonsorbitch7293 According to one GoodReads review, Fred Haley was a nom de plume (pen name) used to sound more masculine. Guess that's what I get for seeing things at face value!

[@k.morningstar7983]

yes, i have come to inquire about some homosexual activities 👁👄👁

[@iluan_]

Best pickup line for cruising.

[@katerinar833]

All of my activities are homosexual

[@theab3957]

@@katerinar833 lol

[@Sofia_Sif]

Men writing women: Lesbian Edition Edit; Ayo why'd they unironically have the gays rp being straight-

[@monikorasort]

Didn’t we already see this is one of the Onision book reviews 🤔

[@Connie.T.]

10:33 After I get bottom surgery, I'm definitely referring to it as my "modern plumbing"

[@jan_Masewin]

ahahahahaha

[@paleposter]

Good!

[@urfavoritefurry4368]

XD yes

[@arandomwolfman]

Holy shit lol

[@serinzevering7375]

you better werk that's amazing

[@draculoidz]

The beginning is just a wattpad lesbian fanfic wrote by a 17 year old boy

[@urfavoritefurry4368]

Yes. That’s why it sounded familiar. THIS IS A JOKE

[@IncredibleMD]

The sad thing is, it was written by a woman under a male pseudonym. This is a woman. This is what she thinks sexy lesbians are like. It's... often bizarre just how different the past was.

[@sophiatroanska1432]

@@IncredibleMD it’s kind of like prohibition. When alcohol was banned, then the mobs took over the market for alcohol. I feel like when certain normal human behaviors are banned, they also get corrupted in ways that they wouldn’t have otherwise

[@IncredibleMD]

@@sophiatroanska1432 Except... it's not like prohibition at all. Butch just used to be a lot more butch, back in the days when butch referred to masculine men, before lesbians took the term to describe masculine women.

[@sophiatroanska1432]

@@IncredibleMD I’m not following. What does women being masculine have anything to do with sexual suppression manifesting in non consensual acts?

[@hereisnosoma1889]

Me thinking that’s basically the whole book then suddenly; “chapter two”

[@the-Mina]

They met yesterday? Now that's an accurate portrayal of a lesbian relationship!

[@iamcasihart]

U-Haul will be locked and loaded by day 4.

[@urfavoritefurry4368]

Yes

[@sembry16190]

I feel attacked 😂

[@furbys_prey_on_transphobes4065]

I read this in the kids bob voice

[@urfavoritefurry4368]

@@furbys_prey_on_transphobes4065 I love your username-

[@sayven]

Others have studied the blade, but have you heard about Charlene, who studied the robe?

[@Painocus]

The is giving me heavy "the guy who wrote Conan the Barbarian adding random torture to his stories just so the woman who was hired to draw the magazine covers got an excuse to draw lesbian BDSM" vibes.

[@DavidRamirez-se2yt]

Was it for the writer or the artist?

[@luckyshibe]

"watched a TV show just because we heard there was one gay couple in it" *darn don't call me out like that,, coughs in she ra and the owl house*

[@luckyshibe]

@@belle278 same lol, and I love your username

[@TorrentialStardust]

Has The Owl House followed through on that one relationship yet? You are absolutely correct and the only reason I will watch it is if it’s gay.

[@luckyshibe]

@@TorrentialStardust Amity has a canon crush on Luz (it's not just speculation, they say it in the show and Amity is a professional gay disaster), who is bisexual, and there are other gay couples

[@bruisedkneecap]

to be fair, all of she ra is just super gay

[@PmpknHead]

Me with One Day At A Time

[@user-ci5dh1ps4g]

There's a reason you're not supposed to give two characters names with the same first letter. I'm 25 minutes in and I still don't know who's who

[@mme.veronica735]

Lene is the masc everyone else is the femme

[@tin0thy]

Same

[@cryptidcomics616]

I grew up with fanfiction. I could read this with a straight face.

[@urfavoritefurry4368]

Lol yeah

[@blueshell292]

I think we all could. Fluff, however, is where it gets difficult.

[@thelightingavenger]

😩Don’t be shy post yourself reading it 😎I’ll cash app you if you do

[@cryptidcomics616]

@@thelightingavenger how much

[@thelightingavenger]

@@cryptidcomics616 how long is it? And how much effort are you willing to put into it? Do I get silly character voices? A shitty old school voice filter? Because You can name a price and we can get this thing going 😂

[@ToastyJunebugs]

Please please please tell me there's a "I put the Sin in Cynthia" joke somewhere in that book!

[@averin5193]

I'm fucking crying xD

[@yve6177]

I mean, if they didn't, then that's just a wasted opportunity.

[@theab3957]

@@yve6177 ikr

[@bag.n]

I read it for myself and there is not, unfortunately

[@j.c.2240]

@@bag.n Let's write a remaster

[@micahguillemette3344]

If i lived back then and i had to write a bad ending, i would just make it the most ABSURD thing ever. Like "and then they kissed and their kiss was so homosexual that the earth exploded. The end!"

[@MoonchildDontCry]

Exactly like they get move to a beautiful cottage by the hills and live with other gays happily ever after... Oops rock fell from the sky and then every gay ded.

[@mayabedarshikirschen1680]

gay and homophobic at the same time we love that

[@loladoee]

well yk what they say most homophobes are just in denial ;)

[@nathan-lf7yc]

@@loladoee the best way to be homophobic is to support the gays

[@loladoee]

@@nathan-lf7yc ???

[@nathan-lf7yc]

@@loladoee dont ask i dont know what it means anymore

[@loladoee]

@@nathan-lf7yc alright sorry youre confused my guy

[@panqueque445]

LMAO the modern plumbing. "Hey girl, wanna come back to my place? I've got hot running water"

[@iluan_]

Having lived in a house with no water heater, I would have 100% gone to anyone's house to have a nice hot shower.

[@solarchaotica]

As someone without hot water, it'd work on me

[@frostystone2242]

My favorite part was how they showed off their modern plumbing. Truly a poetic moment

[@Evalynder]

I swear, Charlene is like when someone plays a game of Sims as an insane psychopath

[@mammoneymelon]

full circle

[@misskatiemarie1761]

Definitely misread this as "Santa is a Lesbian"

[@v-mouse]

Well... Christmas is not far Away.

[@irradiated_woman8016]

I need this to be the next video.

[@MrRuano825]

Well, I remember an anime in which Santa was actually some badass biker who had strong butch vibes.

[@victoriashevlin8587]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@CocoRegardless]

@@MrRuano825 I don't know why this seems so familiar to me...

[@ruinparadox4812]

Satan was a lesbian? Damn, heaven is sounding more and more like a christian boarding school now that I think about it.

[@ontologicalpotato]

That is precisely what atheists think. They view their ideal heaven or satisfaction of eternal life as a place of sexual sin and autonomy of all kinds. The difference is that heaven and hell are not like this at all. Heaven is eternity in the presence of God our creator, and Hell is an eternity without that. You may think this is insignificant to you, but when your creator dictates how your soul feels, it is dreadful to think about, and I’d rather not be in the position you are in. I can’t imagine living with that uncertainty.

[@Chris-ek1uh]

@@ontologicalpotato OK. Hope you have fun a fun time in heaven.

[@ruinparadox4812]

@@ontologicalpotato ah yes forgive my insanity. I have done an unholy wrong and must repent for my existence because honestly how dare I have an ideal final dream place for myself. Also a bit of advice, generalising people based on an experience you had with one of them isn't exactly the best thing to do, like at all.

[@katestarnes1709]

@@ontologicalpotato It was a joke...... yeah?

[@funybirbman3813]

@@ontologicalpotato yeah but some dont believe in an afterlife and think that there is naught but oblivion.

[@camelpimp]

"This part is a really horrible experience to read" I mean, I've read fanfiction, how bad can this be- "She makes her dig up her dead dog's collar, then puts it on her, and then walks her around the house on a leash" Oh. I see.

[@thelolitasystem6403]

I mean this sounds like a wattpad lemon one shot with horrible grammar, written by a virgin twelve year old

[@jerryqueer]

@@thelolitasystem6403trust me, theres stuff better than this lol

[@elfodelputoinfierno]

That book was kinkier than I expected. Wow.

[@thequeenofcringe1585]

Without consent, too.

[@OhNoBohNo]

Charlene: “I’m the Joka’, baybeyyy!” Cynthia: “oh, Charlene, you’re so funny!”

[@melodydyk6170]

my favorite part of this was that the whole 'satan has possessed her' thing is REALLY REALLY hinted at in the beginning, like not even hinted it's like almost said straight up, but there was never a big reveal like "GASP YOU WERE SATAN THE WHOLE TIME?!?!?" like they just...forgot about it XD

[@raveng8217]

I'm just surprised that Satan died in a car crash. Obviously the book was gonna have a tragic end, but I did not expect it to be so underwhelming 😂

[@licasabinaandreea2361]

@@raveng8217 yea, it was so anticlimactic. Like, if you want to truly drive the point across, have hell-chick open a portal to hell after she tricks a distressed Cynthia into promising her soul to her, then they both enter it or something. If you are going to write a tragic end, at least do it properly.

[@ganymedeanoutlaw]

Lots of canine imagery, plus "she had forgotten that there were female wolves" Did Satan Was a Lesbian predict the omegaverse?

[@hahabearseathoney]

wait if gay people had to die in these novels, couldnt you just write a story and end it with “and then everyone died. the end”?

[@TheWilderCat]

That's just what they did.

[@snottyskunkmoth5373]

was literally just wondering the same thing!! it probably went down that way, anyway

[@KitKat0418]

This whole book makes me uncomfortable because my grandmother’s name is Cynthia and I just picture her the whole time help me

[@evankimsey7867]

That’s unfortunate

[@surejan3685]

I also have a grandma named Cynthia. I agree it ups the cursed factor by 100

[@shigekax]

My grandmother's name is Charline, she's satan now I guess :(

[@GregoryMom]

I cannot hear Cynthia without hearing the D/P/P character

[@nishanthjeyaraj112]

This one has granny issues

[@dannythefriendlycactus3274]

"Turn around little butch!" My new favorite way of greeting

[@Elle-cy3eu]

Hell is sounding better than heaven at this point

[@funybirbman3813]

It is. I should know, it's my hometown

[@cynthiaanderson6410]

@@funybirbman3813 hello, person from Michigan.

[@funybirbman3813]

@@cynthiaanderson6410 1.I'm not from Michigan. 2. I would argue that texas and Florida are closer to hell

[@kiatorrette5631]

@@funybirbman3813 I would absolutely believe Florida is the true hell on earth

[@funybirbman3813]

@@kiatorrette5631 is it even real, or just a species-wide hallucination.

[@reithegay609]

Heres a fun game: count how many times Teya says "babey". Now add it to your age. That's how many years it will take you to mentally heal from this book.

[@eldritchcatgirl]

I am not rewatching this and cursing myself with this book again please no

[@MoonchildDontCry]

Um actually his real name is "strange". I love rewatching but can't count that sht

[@ackity]

oh considering how much me and my partner reference this video, i feel like it might take a while longer OH and they're buying the book for both of us so how much do i multiply that

[@reithegay609]

@@ackity bestie you're gonna still be healing in your next life lol

[@emilyfanslow3604]

i don’t know why but “turn around little butch” absolutely killed me

[@mammoneymelon]

that is literally how the lesbians at my school talk to each other skalfjaf

[@theab3957]

@@mammoneymelon What!?

[@fantasmaghoulical]

@@theab3957 the lesbians at your school DON'T talk like this?

[@theab3957]

@@fantasmaghoulical Well I am homeschooled, so that would be awkward

[@fantasmaghoulical]

@@theab3957 oh, that'd be hilarious lmao

[@bi_cycle]

"She was to blink a lot in her relationship" That's all I need to appreciate this literature.

[@pissbaby3893]

Time for an alternative of Miku Binder Jefferson but with a shirt that says "I met Satan, she's a lesbian!"

[@nickgrout2502]

How dare you make me remember that

[@sketchysquiggle5602]

I'd wear that on a shirt

[@Quackervoltz]

No stop

[@astroster1648]

Oh God this seems like a blast

[@drifterduckygaming4646]

Satan also had a blast, showed his friends about it but got bullied

[@vera_ah]

Hello fellow techno fan

[@astroster1648]

@@vera_ah hello ^-^

[@Creature7777]

@@drifterduckygaming4646 sounds like smth that would happen to me

[@astroster1648]

@salem :o thanks!! I made it myself! :D

[@abigailweinman6447]

“Charlene, as always, does not care.... THAT EVERYBODY IS UNCOMFORTABLE” can’t express how much that made me laugh

[@TheSoundSpell]

“Modern plumbing” I thought at this point I had at least a teeny tiny bit of understanding in terms of lesbian slang. Evidently, I was wrong.

[@harperarida9061]

"watched a movie that Kristen Stewart's in even if she's not gay in it" yes I have seen Underwater four times thank you for noticing

[@that_child2292]

same

[@thedumbdog1964]

It’s good

[@bepis602]

I have not but i have watched the trailer an unhealthy amount of times

[@FritzMonorail]

Next time somebody asks me what my aesthetic is I'm just going to show them the cover for Satan was a lesbian

[@GunnarTobus]

I think that thumbnail already proudly displays your aesthetic.

[@k.morningstar7983]

you might be a *Twin Temple* fan and never knew it

[@GunnarTobus]

@@k.morningstar7983 what is it with you and twin temple?

[@adam7108]

This sounds like a playthrough of a dating sim with all the "wrong" options

[@discodetectiive]

“on my SERIOUS commentary channel!” *has a giant worm on a string sitting in the background*

[@blueshell292]

We‘re not gonna talk about the caged furby? No? Aight

[@OhNoBohNo]

Nothing unprofessional about that!

[@midgematic8659]

@@blueshell292 he's in gay baby jail do not disturb himb

[@chelister27]

Idk about y'all but the biggest gag for me in this psycho-sexual journey was the revelation that Teya is pretty tall 💁

[@taylorbritt499]

She's almost half a foot taller than me and I'm not sure how to cope with this

[@bonnyjimenez8595]

"Synthia is tells sharlene charline that's she's in love with her and sharlene is like k" when you popped that quick supernaturalmimage i shrieked and also the threw my tablet . Flawless content as always from out lesbian Edna mode

[@maggiemcleod7711]

this moment was cinematic gold while simultaneously being the worst thing I've ever seen

[@ohshiditsgriff2793]

Bold of you to assume the original Edna Mode was not a lesbian

[@thehermit8618]

Bruh get it right. She's lesbian aunt Bayonetta

[@Jess-jt4zf]

So Charlene is literally a "hey, mamas" type of lesbian? Lmao

[@thetypewriter3526]

charlene abruptly moving to hollywood is like that one scene in twilight when edward leaves and we get to watch the seasons change while bellas sitting in some chair

[@d.lan3y]

That book would've been so much more interesting if in the mean time Bella had straight up murdered two women with a carving knife.

[@alexajackson3655]

D. Laney, that’s..... oddly specific. Edit: after watching the video that is cannon 😅

[@d.lan3y]

@@alexajackson3655 the danger of looking at the comments before finishing the video

[@alexajackson3655]

D. Laney, lmaooo

[@ivyravenclaw3573]

Hello teya. I just have to say that i finally realised that im going to super hell. Thank you for helping me on this journey

[@_june_lost]

Literally take me there now.

[@SkylerDemness]

Your profile says everything.

[@ivyravenclaw3573]

@@SkylerDemness wut

[@crystalsnow5046]

Take me to super hell too please

[@lyxxinz7108]

@@Julesexe-br3yv hell yeah i'll bring the spines

[@lady_lovelace]

"how many of us have watched a tv show just because there is one gay couple in it" Look i didn't just sit through 226 chapters of adventure time to be called out like this

[@lokischild5170]

I'M WATCHING ADVENTURE TIME RIGHT NOW FOR THE SAME REASON

[@GunnarTobus]

This cover looks like a poster I’d find at a neighbor’s garage sale. *I want a poster of this.*

[@theab3957]

You have some interesting neighbours

[@CocoRegardless]

Oh my god when she used the destiel scene to describe the love confusion I- *Too soon*

[@CocoRegardless]

I wanted to say confession but it's more accurate this way

[@saanchikasar9796]

To say I flinched would be an understatement. I literally flipped. It's way too soon.

[@thevexster2]

Love it when my Girlfriend pauses our heated make out session to show me her modern plumbing

[@mercury1949]

Omg

[@GunnarTobus]

*Kissing* “Okay, enough of that. Come look at my amazing toilets and sinks.”

[@Jirai_lamb]

I lied, I don’t like sex. Put your clothes back on I’m gonna show you my modern plumbing

[@robinchesterfield42]

I actually made Charlene and Cynthia as Sims, because. Charlene kinda looks like the black-haired woman on the cover, I gave them both (roughly) early-'60s clothes, and yes, Sim-Cynthia does have anime bubs. :P They live in Strangerville, 'cos moving away to a weird little town in the desert where nobody asks very many questions would a pretty appropriate alternate ending. :)

[@treethief4987]

Whats your galley ID?

[@lokischild5170]

The fact you didn't name her Simthia saddens me lol.