Surprise! You're Autistic! Learning about autism in adulthood with Diane J. Wright from Autastic.com

Learning you're autistic in adulthood can come as a big surprise! The official autism diagnosis process carries the risk of misdiagnosis and often the best places to find answers and support are from community peer groups of those who have walked a similar path.
Diane J. Wright is the founder of Autastic.com, a large online community for late-identified autistic adults, which includes two spaces dedicated to autistic people of colour. She stumbled into learning she’s autistic at the age of 42, and now guides adults who are surprised to learn, after careers, children, and sometimes even grandchildren, that neurodivergence may explain their lives
Join the community:
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CHANNEL LINKS:
Patreon: / aspergersfromtheinside
Facebook: / aspergersfromtheinside
Twitter: / aspiefrominside
Written Blog: aspergersfromtheinside.com/
More Videos: / aspergersfromtheinside
Email: [e-mail]
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// WELCOME TO ASPERGERS FROM THE INSIDE!!
My name is Paul and I discovered I have Aspergers at age 30.
If you're new you can check out a playlist of some of my most popular videos here: / aspergersfromtheinside
Yes, I know, I don't look autistic. That's exactly why I started this blog, because if I didn't show you, you would never know.
As the name suggests, this channel is devoted to giving you insight into the world of Aspergers.
This blog started off being just my story, but I've learned SO MUCH about my own condition
from meeting others on the Autism Spectrum that now I make sure to feature their stories as well.
I've come a long way in my own personal journey.
Now I'm sharing what I've found so you don't have to learn it the hard way too.
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// WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THIS BLOG
You can expect me to get to the point with concise useful information.
I focus on what is most important and don't shy away from difficult topics.
The best way to learn about Autism is to see it in real life ( i.e. via the stories of many, many people on the spectrum).
In this channel I endeavour to show you what Autism and Aspergers look like in real people and to also give you some insight as to what's happening on the inside.
I upload a new video every weekend with some bonus content thrown in mid-week too.
There's always new stuff coming through so be sure to check back and see what you've missed. (Is this where I'm supposed to tell you to hit that subscribe button?)
Topics Include:
- What is Aspergers/Autism?
- Aspie Tips, coping strategies, and advice on common issues
- Learning Emotional Intelligence (this is my special interest!)
- Autism in real life: stories from special guests
Everything I do is and endeavour to go deeper and take you 'behind the scenes' to understand what may, at first glance, seem 'odd'.
oh, and I love busting stereotypes and turning preconceptions upsidedown :)
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// ABOUT ME
I discovered I have aspergers at the age of thrity.
It has been my life's mission to understand these funny creatures we call humans.
My special interest is a combination of emotional intelligence, psychology, neuroscience, thinking styles, behaviour, and motivation. (I.e. what makes people tick)
My background is in engineering and I see the world in systems to be analysed.
My passion is for taking the incredibly complex, deciphering the pattern, and explaining it very simply.
My philosophy is that blogging is an adventure best shared.
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// EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TRAINING
I also run autism friendly online emotional intelligence training. So if you like my direct, systematic style, and would like to improve your own emotional intelligence skills, check it out here:
emotionsexplained.com.au
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// CONTACT
Blogging is an adventure best shared which means I'd love to hear from you!
Feel free to leave me a comment or send me and email at any time and I'll do my best to respond promptly.
Email: [e-mail]
Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy this channel!
I look forward to hearing from you!
Peace,
~Paul

[@drlarrymitchell]

I have mixed emotions...but it was some form of relief to learn that "What in the fuck is your problem?" actually had a medical definition.

[@oooweebaby4483]

Exactly, it's not easy when most people are trained to not criticize and point out social oddities but rather just ignore someone which is frankly worse.

[@seekeroftruths3911]

Me too!

[@prototype8861]

I used to play games with shrinks and get them really angry. Once he prescribed me some poison they called medicine back then, but his handwriting was unreadable. I offered to teach him how to write properly.

[@marshaalexander2454]

I was 59 when I found out I was autistic. I finally understood why life was so exhausting. That I had been struggling so hard to be “normal “ and falling short. I feel better about myself knowing that I am wired differently.

[@Alan1902ava]

You have just described my current circumstances, I am 55. I am totally exhausted and worn out. I was speaking to autist friend on a weekend away with my wife and the penny dropped, lots of research, I am 99% sure and am aiming to to get diagnosed. It has been a rollercoaster. Good to see your post.

[@mooncove]

Same for me! At least I'm not the only one who's struggled this long to figure it out. Thing is, I called my doctor when I scored 38/50 on the Autism Quotient test (being female), and she told me it's not worth my getting diagnosed. (Because I'm disabled from working by other physical problems and don't go to school,so don't need 'reasonable accommodations.' Uh, that doesn't count among my few friends and my totally estranged family.) She said she'd just put it in my file. (Like maybe SHE'd already figured it out and believed me.)

[@ingramdw1]

Also in the 59 club. I'm still 59, so... still getting to grips with it.

[@adapederson6159]

Exactly 💯......it is very sad!! No, I have always thought 🤔 "What's wrong with me"!? I just realized a month ago that I'm on the spectrum, at almost 57. Answers ALL MY QUESTIONS! But very liberating ☺️

[@neshiah4747]

‘Ditto.🙏🏼

[@oaklandkiwi]

Learned I was on the spectrum at 47. Grateful for the proper label. Grieving 4+ decades gone horribly wrong.

[@Me-ej3po]

I hope your next 47 years are extra blessed. 😌

[@dlesliejones]

Self assessed at 62, 2 years ago. It would have been useful to know 60 years ago. Just endless issues. Career imploded. Starting with my family scapegoating and gaslighting me. Years of molestation, abuse and addiction. Trust issues. It's already better now. I can't turn back the hands of time, only go forward. Take care.

[@chele277]

I got diagnosed 3 weeks before Christmas, I'm 56

[@teemadarif8243]

@@dlesliejones I felt you on that .

[@talitaza8862]

I just found out at age 36. I know it's a bit younger than you guys, but I so wish I knew earlier. Having mixed feelings of fear, relief, resentment and utter sadness.

[@RaymondOreFineArt]

I was diagnosed at 57 and I spent about 2 weeks in a daze thinking back over my whole life with a different perspective

[@RM-fs8ub]

Hope you are better now. Love and peace.

[@Fortune090]

I'm about a month from 30 and I think I just realized this myself only 3 days ago... Still having a rough time with it.. (not necessarily in a bad way) So much is making sense and coming together that couldn't have made any more sense otherwise. I've been all at the same time scared, worried, confused, hopeful, nostalgic, overwhelmed, validated, happy, but also sad because I wish I could have realized this sooner in life.

[@prospermakosa4408]

I'm in that space now. I'm just beginning to understand myself. I actually make sense to myself now. I feel liberated.

[@prospermakosa4408]

PS I am 44.

[@RaymondOreFineArt]

@@prospermakosa4408 It is liberating. People around me think I behave more Autistic now and I probably do as I'm masking far less which is great.

[@stacig5997]

I was 44 when I was diagnosed with autism. I was misdiagnosed in my 20s with BPD. I sort of feel sad about my experience of discovering that I was autistic. I keep reading others' reports of how happy and excited they felt when they got their diagnosis (due to feeling accepted, and part of a community) but I rarely read something similar to my own experience. I spent my whole life knowing I was different but felt that perhaps it was due to trauma so I immersed myself (hyper-focused) on psychology and figured that when I learned enough I would heal and be like everyone else. When I got my diagnosis I had to accept that I would never be 'normal' and I had to grieve this and learn to accept myself as I am. This is still an ongoing process and these videos are really therapeutic to me. Not everyone's story of discovering their autism is the same and I am learning that is okay.

[@Melodyrae751]

I got told by a doctor that I am too old to be autistic because I am 20. And after that she said it is just “a label “ anyways which really upset me. I love seeing videos like this where it is raising awareness and helping people understand better.

[@anona2017]

I've recently found out that some insurances allow you to self refer to a psychologist for an assessment. There's also assessments you can self pay for. Embrace autism is one place.

[@waterdragon5418]

Find a new Doctor.

[@prototype8861]

Some doctors, if not most, are passive agressive pedantic twats. Here's some brutal honesty for you from an aspie brother.

[@lynnblackburn2720]

My son is 18 and he definitely is on the ASD spectrum . Don't take your G.P s word for it .

[@francescof9488]

@@prototype8861 hi I agree with you. I fight for 1 year to convince my GP to refer me for a diagnosis. I think they had refer me at the wrong center which was not in my area intentionally and so they couldn't assess me. Eventually I insisted to get referred for the right center and now I got the official letter said I'm put on a waiting list.

[@brunoboaz7656]

When I finally decided to suspend disbelief and work instead from the standpoint of actually being autistic, the things that have happened to me in my life started to make sense to me. So, here in the 8th decade of my life , I have a better grasp of who I am and what I need to do to make my life better. Channels like Asperger's From The Inside have helped me so much. Thank you for all you do, Sir!

[@beccismith4454]

Beautiful! Thank you for sharing and enjoy your journey!

[@gxa5760]

This is everything. If you're interested, Bruno, I invite you to join our #AutisticElders volunteers on Twitter who share what they've learned through life. Here's the info. Let me know @WeAreAutastic and I'll add you. Welcome to the community!

[@brunoboaz7656]

@@gxa5760 Thank you for the invitation. I am not currently on Twitter as I am a bit of a loner but I saved the info you gave me . I will think on it and perhaps give it a try. Thank you.

[@dlesliejones]

@@brunoboaz7656 That's funny. I (64m) am recluse, and skeptical of social media as well. I agree, this channel has been very helpful.

[@teemadarif8243]

totally makes sense

[@mattdixon6396]

I found out at 51. 40 plus years of living with intense unhappiness and self loathing takes a huge toll. Now that I understand what’s happening life feels so open and positive now. I’ve simplified my life and work with my traits and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. If only I knew….

[@wolf1066]

I suspected/self-identified as being autistic for a number of years and yesterday I got my official clinical diagnosis through the local hospital's Mental Health Service. One of my concerns was that my years of masking would lead them to conclude that I was not on the spectrum. So now, at 57, after a couple of decades of thinking I'm probably on the spectrum, I now know for certain that I am - what an *awesome* feeling!

[@jazzboots8893]

Congrats!

[@wolf1066]

@@jazzboots8893 Thank you.

[@jedrashidul6952]

I have the same concern tbh. The thing is mental health professionals in my country aren't as up to date as those in more developed countries so that adds to the fear as well

[@wolf1066]

@@jedrashidul6952 Sorry to hear that. What country, if I may ask.

[@jedrashidul6952]

@@wolf1066 Malaysia

[@tomc8929]

I'm 65 and realized I'm an aspie last year. I saw a video of someone who grew up not knowing that she had autism. By the end I was crying like a baby. All of a sudden my life made sense. Now I'm trying to understand this new info. I feel like I'm getting to know the real me.

[@joonasmakinen4807]

Link to video? :)

[@BillieGote]

Tom C, could you share the link or any info regarding the video you watched? There are more autistic people providing wonderfully helpful content these days, and specific recommendations about particularly moving stories like the one you described are especially helpful. Could you reply with a video link, a name, or a website? TIA

[@crweirdo8961]

I'm leaving this reply so I will hopefully get a notification if you ever choose to share what video it was.

[@oneeyedphotographer]

@@crweirdo8961 There are many videos that I have seen, but could not find again. Doesn't invalidate any of my memories.

[@crweirdo8961]

@@oneeyedphotographer Same. I wasn't trying to invalidate anything, I literally just wanted to receive a notification if they ever chose to share a link 😎👍 Sorry if it sounded like I was demanding proof or anything like that🤔 that was not my intention 🤷‍♂️

[@cannymoose]

Im so happy to be diagnosed at 48 as asd and adhd. It has been liberating and i finally feel it ok to be me. I have been trying to fix myself for decades..now i know i can get on with my life. Im not broken.

[@isimonsez]

Well… you are wired differently, not broken but different

[@nnylasoR]

Amen, Sarah!!

[@valf6854]

What a thoughtful discussion, I am sad for myself, at 68 I finally see myself and all the things that I have misunderstood about myself. This is so freeing but also makes me grieve for my younger self.

[@Matt463634]

36. Swear I'm autistic. But such a good actor I don't know who I really am anymore. Sometimes to the point I don't want to be on this planet.

[@booklassygarrahan3929]

When my son was diagnosed, I realized that I was. I mask like a champ, and no one would probably guess, but the toe walking, rocking, flapping, sensory issues, etc were really difficult when I was a kid. I think many women figure out masking at an early age.

[@ElaineWalker]

Sometimes I watch this stuff and just start crying. I’m 53 and hope to get diagnosed in January.

[@turtleanton6539]

Hope it worked out for you

[@purpleepicicon]

I was around 33 when I first heard of Aspergers. About 34-35 when I was diagnosed. Took my years to learn to accept. Also explains why I had so much trouble in the Army. Was never deployed, but I was in the 82nd Airborne. My section sergeant told me out in the field I was one of those they counted on to get things done, airborne ops I had the coolest head of anyone he'd ever seen on any jump, but get back to garrison and it all fell apart because I couldn't handle the politics/social interactions.

[@AnGeLaOYA]

Write! Write! Write! Journal! Connect dots and write because it's hard to answer questions in a sitting and the more you write the better memory recall!!!! ✌🏼

[@jaustin97601]

Wow, Diane has the same exact mannerism I do where she looks up and has to break eye contact in order to find the words to express her thoughts sometimes. I'm glad I'm not the only one

[@davidreeves2911]

I'm glad you mentioned sensory issues, go for help and get to wait in a waiting room with way to much noise and go into an over heated office with fluro lights and stale air, I'm 52 and got diagnosed a few months ago, passive aggressive behaviour sets me off, I call it going into a rain man loop.

[@erikavery9982]

I was diagnosed at 48... I’m 52 now and I’ve accepted it. My life is getting better, but it was a bloody huge challenge.

[@Electrowave]

I was diagnosed at 53. Unfortunately the mental health hospital now use that diagnosis to refuse me help with my mental health. On the plus side, looking over my life, a lot of things make a lot more sense. Nice to watch a video about normal people talking about normal things. Normal to me, anyway. Thanks for sharing your experiences, and for bringing on Diane. The more people I hear talking about their autism the more normal I feel. It's been a very lonely journey so far, getting worse as I have gotten older and put up more barriers.

[@ladybaabaa3294]

Wait, why does your mental hospital refuse to help you with your mental health now they've diagnosed you as on the spectrum? What's their reasoning for this?

[@Electrowave]

@@ladybaabaa3294 The psychologist I saw recommended I have a psychiatric nurse but they told me they are so short staffed that they can only refer them to the worst cases. I was sent for therapy on the NHS. She was going to use Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Apparently it can't be used on someone with autism, or at least can't be used on me and the reason given is because I have autism. They recommended I contact the Integrated Autism Service, which I am on the waiting list for, now. Their words were literally, "Sorry we can't help you." I am on the waiting list for a support worker from an organisation who helped me before when I wasn't managing things. They support worker was very helpful but once they have sorted out whatever I'm struggling with at the time then they close my case, so if I need them again then I have to apply all over again. I am a member of a disability forum and was just the other day reading something about a lack of mental health services for people with autism. I don't know the reason, they were talking about some proposed changes in the law regarding autism. I'm still learning about things regarding my diagnosis as well as trying to handle some very difficult times in my life at the moment. From my own experience there seems to be no help with adult autistic people on the NHS. At least not where I live in Wales. I only got a mental health diagnosis because of a major event in my life where everything sort of came to a head and fell apart. My full diagnosis was ASD, PTSD, and AvPD. In the past they have always told me I have acute anxiety and depression (diagnosis from GP's, I was only once referred to a consultant way back in the 80's when I had a near breakdown and took an overdose of tablets but I couldn't handled seeing a different psychiatrist every time I went to the hospital so I stopped going). BTW, thanks for replying. Are you in UK?

[@ars6187]

@@Electrowave My goodness! They sound as horrendously inept as the VA I deal with here in the States as well as the autistic “services” I’ve found so far here in Vegas! It’s utterly absurd. Truly among the most illogical backwards ineffective ways to approach and handle anything at all is the way our medical community handles care for those that aren’t immediately in danger of dying and yet require care right NOW. Head split open, brain spilling out? 👍🏾 Headache and you’d like to pay cash? 😳😱 PANIC PANIC Which forms? Which aisle? Is there an aisle? Do we get a doc, require insurance, require release forms, generic, not generic, is there a sale, can I talk to them, do they qualify, am I qualified?! Aaaggghhh! 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@LoveCrumb]

@@Electrowave I see your comment is from 6 months ago- I hope you've had some more positive news or help since then?? I'm in Canada and I've had a terrible time getting competent mental health care AND health care for my chronic health/mental health conditions (and by that I mean the kind that is actually validating and not further damaging). I've recently had the realization that I may be autistic at age 31 and my dad and (fortunately very knowledgeable) therapist seem to strongly support this moving forward...but I feel intimidated out of pursuing a diagnosis through my GP as doctors are my biggest anxiety trigger after a lifetime of terrible treatment. Gosh, I hope you've had some luck since you posted your comment!

[@Electrowave]

@@LoveCrumb Hi Liz, thank you for your reply. I am still on the waiting list for help. Our NHS system isn't really geared up for mental and personality type difficulties. The waiting list I am on is for a charity. The private route is £50+ per session but there's know way of knowing how suitable they would be or if they would be any good. I've recently lost my mental health advocacy support because they don't seem to be able to deal with me. I probably need a different kind of support but unable to find it in the current COVID-19 climate. How had things gone for you? Did you get a diagnosis? My diagnosis has so far proven both positive and negative. Negative only in the sense that some people hear the word "autism" and think the worst, or look at me and tell me I seem fine to them. I also don't feel comfortable around GP's. I've not seen one since lockdown started. I'm supposed to be checked up on regularly because of medication I am on and other problems but they have been unavailable for face to face appointments since March 2020! Phone appointments are no good for me because I don't use phones. I also live very remote where there's no phone signal anyway. My GP doesn't use internet with patients. I bit out of date in that area. I don't know anything about the healthcare system in Canada. Does it operate similar to USA? Do you have a system like the NHS in UK? We are lucky to have the NHS but there is a lot it doesn't cover, and it's no use at preventative medicine compared to what I had in Africa.

[@CrushOnFire13]

Ive learned at 29 that Im Autistic. It was so grounding to know why Im so different. That Im not crazy, most ppl are just mean and society is wrong. It validated all the feelings Ive ever had and will have ❤

[@conorreedR2C]

I discovered I was likely on the spectrum at 21 and officially diagnosed at 22 (just turned 23 a few hours ago lol). It's always felt like I was bashing my head against a brick wall trying to get people to understand me and not be furious with/ostracize me. Now that I do know, it's easier to realize when I may need to clarify what I said and smooth things out before they get bumpy. The biggest communication issue I face on a daily basis is that autism just doesn't come up in normal conversation: I'm constantly thinking and checking my actions against the revelation that I am autistic and explaining things to myself in that light, yet am incapable of sharing that light with others, so to speak. So often, people have no clue how I arrive at a conclusion. They either a) think I'm weird/quirky or b) get angry with me for jumping to conclusions, depending on the context. I can't explain my thought process or make them understand it, even if I could just tell them I'm autistic w/o them telling me "autism isn't an excuse to be a dick" lol. Oh well, I'm a long way from figuring out but I'm still growing and learning.

[@gabriellapsychicmedium]

Over this last year doing a lot of research, watching a lot of educational videos from autistic women etc so much of my life suddenly made SO much sense, i know in my heart asd and adhd are a part of who I am and it’s given so much clarity and helped my personal relationships with understanding. It’s also helping me, moment by moment to stop fighting myself and learn to accept things and add different techniques , tools/ sensory objects to help. I struggle with feelings of being invalidated and I’m so grateful for your page and platform and being so open to self diagnosis during a time it’s still so hard and expensive to be diagnosed ❤️❤️

[@CuriousInquiror]

It was extremely refreshing and validating to hear someone speak about the experiences and challenges faced by people of color on the spectrum. In my experience, part of the reason why I was diagnosed so late because my idiosyncrasies and challenges kept getting misattributed to my ethnic background despite having grown up in the states. Until my diagnosis at 31, this misattribution made me (1) loathe my ethnicity and (2) severely overestimate how much discrimination my ethnic group faces when in fact NT who share my ethnicity do not face nearly as much discrimination.

[@BKHolmstrom_23]

Like so many have already commented, it was a big relief to finally know. Tested/diagnosed via the RAADS-R exam, at age 51. But I find it's a double-edged sword...it's a relief to know - I did the same thing as many, immediately had a "life flash before my eyes" moment where I went back to early childhood and reviewed situations and understood why I acted/reacted the way I did - but at the same time, I don't want to fall back and use it as a crutch, play the victim when I react badly to something, you know? I've spent most of my life achieving and proud of getting to where I am. I don't want to sit back now and let things slide b/c I have a diagnosis.

[@phya9324]

When Diane got so absorbed and passionate at the start to the point of getting completely side tracked, I felt that in my soul

[@worldatwardan]

Oh boy. What a journey. Frustrating and exciting and challenging. Aspies have more good qualities than bad and that must not be forgotten. Knowing how to manage your own weaknesses and accommodate them helps to relax you and help face hard knocks. Faith in God is my strength. He made me like this for a purpose and if others are not satisfied with me. Tough luck.

[@maylissbjerke9204]

Exactly💞 your unique and beautiful to GOD.

[@gustavmeyrink_2.0]

@@maylissbjerke9204 as an autistic atheist that really means nothing to me but thanks anyway.

[@maylissbjerke9204]

@@gustavmeyrink_2.0 💞😁

[@tmorelli1982]

"aspies have more good qualities than bad". That's a meaningless generalized statement.

[@Petertwohig1948]

Discovered at the age of 69 (3 years ago). I am now in the process of reframing my whole damn life. But at least it's a relief. Those nearest to me are in denial, of course; I guess they're only human (whatever that is). Many, many thanks Paul.

[@Scott21]

I kept wondering why emotions don't feel real with me, so after I got diagnosed it made a lot of sense at 20 years old.

[@go2me4zombies]

My grandson was diagnosed w it . Then I started to recall my childhood and remember I was diagnosed when I was seven same age as him but my mother died and I forgot about it until my daughter told me about my gson but she hasn't spoken to me since ....I heard they were trying to find out how n why and if it is inherited but has not spoken to me ;( so I have been left out of the family and didn't realize till last year what I was struggling with and it all came back to me ....but now it's too late to say anything about me myself and my childhood .....but it's ok I understand now and that's all that matters ...I say nothing to noone because I will be made fun of :( it's lonely but it is what it is ...I keep my mask on .

[@spaceanarchist1107]

From doing some research on the internet, I've discovered that there are actual names for many traits that I considered to just be my personal quirks. And many of them are autistic traits. It's fascinating to discover that these characteristics fit into a pattern, but also a bit disappointing that I'm not as totally unique as I thought.

[@kdeuler]

I sometimes consider myself to be a "low functioning neurotypical". Explains some of my social history.

[@tearosefarmcrafts9969]

I am 47, I just received my diagnoses. Everyday a different memory comes up and I have a new understanding of why my life was so different.

[@BeanieBiker_AutisticRider]

I was diagnosed in March this year at 39, but something I've known since childhood, struggled badly in holding down jobs because of me being me, sacked a few times, but now protected under the disability act, colleagues find it awkward being around me when I stim, and management didn't have a clue. Now on the right path 😊

[@nicolemcardle5711]

I am so glad I came across this video! I was diagnosed with ASD last week at the age of 36. This was great :)

[@stephenwilcockson3498]

So I am 30 years old and I've very recently been learning about autism from your channel and having discussions with my girlfriend, my friends and family and really coming up to conclusions and thinking about my own personal possible autism and neurodiversity. It's simultaneously relieving to connect so many dots retrospectively while also frustrating and saddening that I didn't peice this together sooner. I think because it is so new to me I'm feeling quite fragile about it as a result. Videos like this one are so comforting, I get quite emotional watching through and listening and saying to myself yes, that's what I'm thinking and feeling. I'm still learning so much. I just wanted to thank you for this channel because its making a huge difference to me

[@Meeko4eve39]

I'm not autistic or know anyone who is personally/closely. But I love learning about all different manner of things including different kinds of neurodivergence like autism and adhd, so I always find your videos very interesting and insightful. On top of that I also find your voice very calming, which helps me focus on the topic even better. So, keep those videos coming. I'm excited to learn more every time 👍

[@ChristophersMum]

I am 71 and just diagnosed last week!!...just in a daze, but I already had an inkling that was behind many, many things over the years.

[@seekeroftruths3911]

Wow

[@brettburnside1457]

47, undiagnosed. I've lost everything and am living again with my aging parents. I was on disability 10 yrs ago for ptsd but was kicked off when I discontinued my therapy and attempting to return to work. I had a little success as I actually held a job for two years, but eventually it all ended. Currently on a wait list to get tested by Tulane in New Orleans 🤞

[@foxfirelabradors5939]

I was diagnosed at 61. It was a life changing shock. I’ve realized that no one cared about me or wanted to know me, just that I fit in, sit down, and shut up. I don’t bother to mask much anymore. Masking never really made me fit in and when it did, I felt that they liked a facade, not me. I understand my troubled past now and I enjoy living more authentically in the present.

[@mrsmiley707]

I have a little brother that is autistic so I find it weird that I never got diagnosed. but my whole life I've wondered why I acted the way I did, and I'm just glad that I finally found out at age 20

[@linden5165]

I'm sure many of us who realised later in life have gone through the Full Brain Re-Programme where we reframe all our experiences, thoughts, feelings, memories. It's intense and overwhelming. But amazing to have so many questions answered!

[@jennifermarsh2541]

I'm 39 and last month was diagnosed with ASD; along with my son who's 17

[@tennotsukai87]

Itchy wool sweaters. I recently found out I'm autistic (33), and I've always noticed how the smallest touch against a hair or part of skin will trigger me the urge to itch. I've gotten better over the years, especially after working on mindfulness. I tend to not hear that touch is part of the senses that are overwhelmed. I also wonder if it's just sensitive skin. That may sound awful, but at least we can smell those dead things inside houses no one else can smell, right? lol

[@skykincaid5644]

I hate wool anything. It itches horribly. It's not just you. For me, chalk and porcelain are awful too.

[@dlesliejones]

After I self destructed my career, I started farming. One advantage of hyper sensitivity is that I can feel those tiny deer ticks, before they get a chance to latch on and give me Lyme disease.

[@tiddlypom2097]

@@skykincaid5644 Oh man me too, that feeling is the worst! Even just thinking about the feeling of chalk or unglazed pottery sets my teeth on edge

[@skykincaid5644]

@@tiddlypom2097 So glad it's not just me! When I was a kid and my teachers would bring us outside with chalk to play with, all the kids would get excited. I was always like: -_- why. Just why. Like you, glazed porcelain doesn't bother me really. It's that awful stuff on porcelain dolls that drives me nuts.

[@deathandcats]

@@skykincaid5644 omg and the sound that unglazed porcelain makes as it brushes agai st another piece of unglazed porcelain *shudder*

[@aubreyiris1479]

Gosh I just cried my eyes out at the "what's wrong with me?" part

[@cherileerogers1650]

I was diagnosed 4 months ago at the age of 62. I find it relieving! I am also ADHD.

[@cherileerogers1650]

@Peekaboo ☺️

[@Dbikgiizis]

I was diagnosed about 2 years ago, at 52. It was like that game Perfection; I finally am able to fit all the pieces in their places. I've made a lot of changes, not the least of which was finally being able to make the changes I have always wanted to make in my life.

[@NanaKitty-tiger501]

I am 63 and just accepted this is real, I know I did the test quite a while ago but didn't understand what the score meant until I saw your other video. My score was 43 so I have little doubt. My grandson was diagnosed and I suspect my daughter is but would never say anything about it. It hit home when she said something about tantrums because really people would tell me I act like a 2 year old and in fact I can say I do have tantrums like a 2 year old mostly when I'm made to go somewhere. I have such trouble reaching out to make friends and it is so uncomfortable I don't understand how I can be part of a support community. I noticed you keep suggesting it but I don't know how you do it. I am still watching more of your videos maybe I will find one that tells how to do that.

[@47retta]

I diagnosed myself at about age 63. I wouldn't mind getting a professional diagnosis but i would be really upset if they couldn't agree with me. I wish i had known much earlier in my life. It would have saved me so much grief. I wish my daughters would understand me better and stop insisting that i be more flexible. They just don't understand my issues!

[@cherylolsen7811]

I'm 60. I've always felt and been treated as weird even by my own family. This is literally a godsend and I'm fully embracing it and being open about it because MORE NEEDS TO BE UNDERSTOOD. I'm in my third marriage (one.was.25yrs) but my first real successful one and he's Autistic and high functioning Developmentally Delayed. First time to have permission to be myself and to really know myself.

[@guriausa]

The jumping off point for me to finally discover I was autistic at almost 50 years old was trying to answer the question why do I struggle so much to have sustained friendships.

[@maryquiet8378]

even just your tones of voice are sooooooo lovely and relieving...an oasis for the ears in a desert of screaching noises👂🏻♥️

[@amymartin6271]

My 15-year-old was just diagnosed with major depressive disorder and ASD. His IQ is 115 for his age and his support needs are in social communication and repetitive, restrictive behaviors. I've been using the term HF ASD because it helped ME wrap my head around everything. But your video has helped me understand why that term is not correct. Love your channel and I'm learning a lot! Thank you!

[@Hadassah-KaquoliMReno]

I just turned 69 and have suspected that I have autism. I’ve been watching KZbin videos for 5 years now and the more I learn the more I know I do have it.

[@dannytorrance9555]

My entire life has been being misunderstood. From being called a liar for not making eye contact, and avoiding others, to obsessively grouping small objects, and mimicking, not to mention being terrified of crowds, and overcoming a stutter, and rocking when I am nervous. I am relieved to finally understand what is wrong with me. Depression doesn't explain what it is. Pharma Drugs are useless. Painting and Creating in a quiet space is my only solace in the world.

[@mwilliamson4198]

It's awesome you found artistic expression / creative work as something that provides relief /solace. While I'm only just starting to unpack the aspy self diagnosis now (age 41) it - creativity and imagination appear to be related this aspy condition, along with conscious embodiment

[@dannytorrance9555]

Growing up in Australia, I was constantly persecuted and bullied for my affliction. It made me more introverted and withdrawn. Art saved me, I saw colour differently than others, and could associated smells and emotions to them. I was diagnosed in 2016 and at 59, feel like I lost so much from not being understood. Ta mate for having innerstanding for us who have this problem.

[@chicane7752]

@@dannytorrance9555 Smells and emotions relating to colors- YES! Voices and numbers have colors to me as well.

[@dannytorrance9555]

Sound and numbers, that is interesting, I do get that occasionally. I saw 4:44 pm and tasted and smelled corn chips the other day, weird triggers. Ta M8

[@heathercrane]

Thank you for sharing. Social media has been a complete failure on top of it all. Im learning it's just best to listen anymore and not reply. It gets awkward when you can't even hit it off on there let alone in real life. I'm very grateful for these videos

[@doughnutask4763]

I am 100% with Diane on her point about not realising her sensitivity issues. I have only recently come to identify as being autistic and am in my 30's. I didn't know I had the auditory sensory issues until I tried a certain type of ear 'plugs' and I almost instantly felt much more relaxed. The first time I took them out, I couldn't believe how loud the world actually is! I always thought I had bad hearing because I couldn't hear people over the 'background noise'. I am also now becoming more aware of my (multitude of) other sensory issues. I knew of some of them but just thought I was weird and a bit crazy or being awkward like I was told as a kid and even as an adult! Thank you

[@JessaM8338]

I love the autastic community. I found them when I first diagnosed last year at the age of 36.

[@autismunknown4227]

I hate being autistic. I'm horribly lonely I have no friends or family that care about me. All I ever get from ppl is nothing but hate. And I can't stand it. The isolation is driving me nuts not having anyone to talk to and noone ever caring I hate the world so bad for how bad and poorly ppl hate me and treat me for no reason. I don't deserve to be so alone and made to feel like my only option is to end my life because everyone refuses to do anything to help me fuck the world

[@mwilliamson4198]

@@autismunknown4227 Sorry to hear this. I spent a number of years in my twenties feeling very much like what you expressed here. Thankfully, by some unknown/unknowable force my life today is so much better it almost every way and I'm happy, content and look forward to the day almost every morning. I have good loving friends, and a loving girlfriend. I really hope you can come back thru from the other side 🙏

[@fireflyfree311]

yeah, a big shocker. I didnt get tested, but I knew I was different in life, struggled in school, with the social situation, clumsy, etc. Pushed out of conversations. I dont' need a diagnosis to know, but I'd like one for family genetics because one of my kids, and 2 of my grandkids were diagnosed officially with autism. The autistic grandkids were from my "other child, my daughter" not the autistic son of mine.

[@oneeyedphotographer]

4:30 they are also moving the boundaries. I bought a book in Boffins last week, one of three I saw published this year. Five papers published daily, I read.

[@calebandrewcox826]

(W)Yea, I wasn't "seen" when I went for diag., now I self identify. I know who I am and what my experience is in life.

[@krndnts3287]

Diagnosed with 28, 3 months before my 29th birthday. Every day I understand a little bit more about my past, it’s so weird but helps a lot! I’m more kind to myself now.

[@MrJovagu]

if it is one thing Im taking with me from this video it is, TO START REBUILDING YOUR LIFE.

[@Wing_It_Wildflower]

THAT! 🇦🇺38 and only day 2 from the life changing realisation. As someone else said ‘I’m in a daze looking back over my life’ with a heck of a lot of understanding, perspective and a kind of relief…and other things I can’t quite yet determine. Id’d for sure benefit from trauma therapy but I’m not sure my lifestyle allows for it. Wilderness nomad beep beep🚌🌄▶️ In knowledge is power. If you push through something you find out what’s on the other side and I’ve got a hunch that it’s going to be beautiful ✨🌅🙏🏼🌄✅😊

[@jillm0871]

I remember at 30 discovering "Wrong Planet" and thinking "they seem like nice people". 😁 It never occurred to me that I was one of them! I got dx this year at 50 and am shocked that my experience in life is actually what is autism. I just had not made the connection!

[@guriausa]

This is one of the most helpful videos I have seen on this channel as a woman finding out in my late 40s.

[@lovewillwinnn]

I’m so glad you two came into my life 😀

[@suzannefolsom7470]

I suspect/self-diagnosed after my son was diagnosed. I’m 34, so not that far into adult life all things considered. It was eye opening when so many things the evaluation mentioned for him, my husband and I both were saying “hey, that’s how he’s like me” it’s been about a year now and I have the privilege of having my own eval scheduled. So nervous that they’ll say I’m not... I know I mask a lot 😕 Separately, some people 🙋‍♀️ LOVE wool! 😂 Wool and fiber arts are hands down my special interest and a great community too!

[@freerideziege6047]

Wow. Discovering what Diane J. Wright is doing is nearly as satisfying as it was finding this channel. Great thanks for what you are doing Paul. It helped/helps me alot.

[@eHawkRivera]

Paul, thank you so much for this video with Diane. I've been trying to puzzle through the person of color and older aspect of "figuring things out" and sometimes it takes just the right angle to feel like there's a sense of connection and recognition. Your videos are wonderful and helpful, and this one especially is so helpful to me at a time where I really need it.

[@aaronbeker9637]

Found out this year, I'm fourteen and it was very unsettling so it must be really difficult to figure it out later in life.

[@annarehbinder7540]

Honestly it was a huge relief I was 42+ and finally things made sense. It was like a missing annoying part of the puzzle. I

[@bakerfritz4681]

I think the thing that is truly difficult is accepting the amount of time you’ve lost and energy you’ve burned trying to succeed in a system you don’t fit into.

[@Wing_It_Wildflower]

🇦🇺38 and only day 2 from the life changing realisation. As someone else said ‘I’m in a daze looking back over my life’ with a heck of a lot of understanding, perspective and a kind of relief…and other things I can’t quite yet determine. Id’d for sure benefit from trauma therapy but I’m not sure my lifestyle allows for it. Wilderness nomad beep beep🚌🌄▶️ In knowledge is power. If you push through something you find out what’s on the other side and I’ve got a hunch that it’s going to be beautiful ✨🌅🙏🏼🌄✅😊

[@thenobleone-3384]

Autism speaks should help our community I'm a person of color and I deal with Discrimination quite a bit. When u ignore racism it doesn't get better it gets worse. That's why I don't work normal jobs anymore

[@jazzypanduh]

I feel it. As a student I was definitely more oblivious to it but as an adult worker, it’s hard to imagine working anywhere that doesn’t have echos of racism and ableism. Both make for a cocktail of uncertainty and unhappiness.

[@jasond4131]

Forget about Autism Speaks. Their mission is to represent the interests of parents of autistic children.

[@thenobleone-3384]

@@jasond4131 Autism Speaks basically lied to me I'm not a Savant however they blew me off. It's very difficult dealing with people who don't take u serious. At this point in my life all I'm looking to get is a diagnosis. Thanks for your comment

[@jasond4131]

@@thenobleone-3384 look into a group called ASAN, The Autism Self-Advocacy Network.

[@cristinagonzalez6591]

Thanks for this video. I've entered autastic and I'm very glad with its content

[@GutsAndGall]

Diane, I relate so much.

[@amberrichards8078]

Was diagnosed last December at age 53, so has been great rediscovering myself and reflecting on past experiences and understanding myself more. Thanks for sharing

[@Wing_It_Wildflower]

🇦🇺38 and only day 2 from the life changing realisation. As someone else said ‘I’m in a daze looking back over my life’ with a heck of a lot of understanding, perspective and a kind of relief…and other things I can’t quite yet determine. Id’d for sure benefit from trauma therapy but I’m not sure my lifestyle allows for it. Wilderness nomad beep beep🚌🌄▶️ In knowledge is power. If you push through something you find out what’s on the other side and I’ve got a hunch that it’s going to be beautiful ✨🌅🙏🏼🌄✅😊

[@rick3747]

A wonderful video Paul! Thanks!

[@hannahberkelouw3338]

I am working with people with CTSD and personally disorders. So happy I come from a family with autism. I have found a lot of misdiagnosed women.

[@ars6187]

Thank you for the work you do! I only recently learned of CPTSD when having first been officially “told” I had PTSD and would be assigned a therapist to assist me. CPTSD fit so much better and realizing one could have both… ayayay… You and your family are a blessing. May your hearts and minds remain open, generous, flexible and strong and always overflowing with love.

[@itzamedave6242]

I just learned a month ago at age 52 love your videos keep up the great work

[@alib1255]

Thank you! This episode was so helpful. I’m 49 and suspected a few years ago. I try to think of my journey in a positive light and self acceptance. Rejection and isolation is a real thing even with family who say they love you (after you disclose your condition). I signed up for the Autastic community so hopefully I’ll find like minded friends!

[@dorie991]

Thank you..

[@the_essential_pastiche]

The comments about getting to your 40s and not understanding why the same things keep happening no matter what you do … SPOT ON!!

[@TommyBrum]

This is wonderful conversation. Would absolutely love to hear a more in depth conversation with you and Diane. Thanks!

[@thisplayer01]

Thanks Paul, Diane for all you do, it is a great help - I found out at age 67; best, Carlo

[@tales_]

Literally. Rejection from people after disclosing that u think u are can be a lot of hurt sometimes..

[@warrenthomas1021]

Keep up the great work guys!...When I was diagnosed 3 years ago at age 56, the penny dropped and had a better understanding of myself. As well as being a full time muso, I also attend therapy monthly. If I wasn't a muso, I'd either be dead or in jail. Ive been sober 3 months and gave up cocaine 10 years ago. If you hear from someone that they feel better from giving up coke and alcohol, I'm sure as shit that they don't have Autism! I'm also blessed with OCD, Anxiety, Depression and Migraines. On the upside, all my conditions are catalysts for my song-writng, especially the latest one I'm finishing recording 'Music Is A Jealous Mistress'. It saved my life a few months ago. Thank You My Muses!!!

[@doreenbraaten4508]

Fantastic information from a mother that has a 20 yearlong son with Aspergers but is just starting to embrace his super powers that I knew where there all along .I shared this with him fingers crossed he watch

[@drmatarkin2100]

I was diagnosed this year, at 39 (40 in a couple of months). My wife is a teacher and has been saying that I’m autistic for most of our marriage. It was always said during a negative interaction and so I just thought it was a put-down. My Doctor and psychologist wanted me tested earlier this year and so I went for a diagnosis. ASD - lvl 2 - anxiety and depression subtype - as well as ADHD. It’s been a struggle to accept. Not that I haven’t seen it’s effects - I suck at life and I’ve never been able to get ahead! I just thought that life was this hard for everyone and I heard the voices in my head - "you’re not trying hard enough….. you’re not paying attention…. You don’t want it enough… you’re lazy… you’re not listening!". It’s been really hard for me. For most people that I’ve told it makes sense and they see it. What I hate is that some people, they seem to judge me for even getting the test - "Everyone has ADHD…." And "if you look close enough, everyone has a little bit of ASD!". To these people I feel like a need to prove to them why I have these things just to be accepted. I’m also stuck trying to work out whether I’m now free to be myself or now that I’m diagnosed whether I have to seek the help to change for everyone else? It’s just a really confusing time!!!

[@monicaruby8888]

In my opinion now you're free to be you, with the understanding of why you might do some things differently, and as you start to become more comfortable and accepting of that within yourself, I suspect you'll start to find more people who are able to accept you for who you are. My husband and I have suspected for a couple of years now that he might be Autistic, still not diagnosed yet, but in recent weeks I've really started to accept it as fact and it's really changed my perspective for the better. Now many of the things that he says or does make so much more sense to me in lightofthat, I'm truly finding it very helpful to have a reason as for why he sees things so differently. By the way, we're both 59. Good luck on your journey!

[@drmatarkin2100]

@@monicaruby8888 That's the thing. With some people I don't feel "free to be me" because they feel that I'm putting it on, when I'm just stripping my masking back. It makes sense to me. I just have to learn to be comfortable with being me. Does that make sense? Because we all masked to fit in, and I'll still have that desire.... and I think that's why around some people I act a certain way but really really burn out so fast, because it's just me trying to be accepted still! It's just still hard!!!

[@enthusia492]

29yo and diagnosed with Asperger's just a few months ago. Happy I found this channel. Thank you for the content. Still finding myself on this journey.

[@DaveTexas]

I’m 53 and have only started realizing in the past few weeks that I might be on the spectrum. I took the AQ test and scored 39. I have LOTS to talk to my therapist about. He mentioned to me that I might want to look into this, but he hasn’t pushed me into seeking a diagnosis. I think I’m ready to seek a diagnosis now.

[@average_amanda3884]

Thanks for sharing!

[@tammydeyo2151]

Thank you Diane!!! 😊 🥰🥰

[@danielbarrows7144]

At 60 years of age finally realizing why I process things the way I do is very helpful! Thank you for sharing this

[@catatheart5659]

Thank you!!!

[@lastwithpaganblood87]

I'm not diagnosed but finding your channel and some others has been amazing. Doing lots of research and trying to figure myself out. "If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle." -The Art of War

[@samwyz69]

I will ever get a diagnosis as they are too expensive and hard to get here in the US.

[@heloisasa3715]

Loved this!!! Thank you so much!

[@SeaOracle]

I was diagnosed a week ago. I am 39 years old. You two are adorable 🥰

[@mamabearstrong]

I was just diagnosed 2 weeks ago at 38!!

[@aloismair3700]

Thank you! Think of outing myself.

[@LALife6]

LOVE THIS SOOOOO MUCH!!! Thank you