Surviving the First Year of Marriage

[@undercovernerd6848]

Hi Tazzy, I have a fear of marriage and while I’m not thinking of marriage for the next 5-10years, I do want to be open to the idea of getting to know someone I might end up marrying. If you’re open to it, can you consider making a video of important conversations you and your husband had and when to have them that made deciding to get married a smoother process/transition. Thank you as always💕

[@nadiafarisdiscovers3922]

After 10 years! How old you would be then considering your conversation here....

[@ye23.]

How old are you

[@ms-rg5jb]

Me too i have a fear of marriage

[@ponisaseaside3456]

@@nadiafarisdiscovers3922 are you telling her you have to be a certain age before which you should be married? SHAME ON YOUR MENTALITY AND CULTURE

[@undercovernerd6848]

@@nadiafarisdiscovers3922 Hello, I’m in my 20s. To put into perspective I don’t derive any unique satisfaction from “relationships” and hence don’t place a lot of importance on it. It’s really not a do or die for me (same goes for children). I guess that’s why how old I’ll be then does not hold much importance to me. 💜

[@alisonlasher1149]

You mentioned so many great points that I think many of us experienced in the first year. You gotta get those friends Tazzy!!! I moved far from home when I got married and I really struggled until I made friends. Love my husband but really need those female friendships. The easiest way I made friends was to make friends with the wives of my husband’s friends. That seemed to work since a lot of them were also newly married and we could relate to each other because we were experiencing similar phases/stages of life. Also the mental load of running a household is real and something we don’t realize until we have our own households to run!! Like planning what to eat every day really ain’t it haha

[@silverstarlight9395]

Didn't you have friends in your workplace?

[@alisonlasher1149]

@@silverstarlight9395 my coworkers are usually more like acquaintances, not potential best friends

[@miriamsulehman6581]

I also recently got married and moved away from my family! When you were talking about the challenges at the beginning, it was like you’d stepped inside my head and were perfectly articulating all of my thoughts! So comforting to hear that I’m not the only one who is and has experienced these feelings!

[@alaaaaa4132]

Good luck with it Miriam!

[@aliveasalways]

Happy anniversary to you and your husband!! 🎉🎉 It's kind of amazing how you used to feel a bit indifferent about marriage and now it's already a year into your own. Hope you two love and support each other always!

[@kzn2412]

I'm in the same boat as you. I could write an essay about the things I've learnt about myself, my husband and life in general. Also, I can't tell you enough how good your content is. You just keep getting better! Keep up the good work taz

[@miha8983]

This video is frikkin AMAZING. Thank you for touching on such an important topic that we often just think about and rationalize. I hope you talk more about gender roles and keeping house functioning in a marriage and how to even bring it up with a partner.

[@enenenergp]

Happy anniversary! Also have to say the baby blue with the silver earrings is just like.. a delicious combo. Looks really nice on you!

[@esmamesihovic5764]

Thank you for this video, Tazzy ❤ It's rather disconcerting that most married couples often jump to tell young people that marriage is hard, while ignoring both the beauty and complexities of it. Also, I totally agree with you when you said that we should be our own person, have hobbies and side interests that may distinguish us from our spouse- that is uncompromisingly necessary in life in general. Sending you all my love 💓

[@piqueny8872]

I’ve spent my whole life co-parenting my siblings and left with the responsibilities of the family home. Its very exhausting especially when nobody appreciates how much work and effort it takes. Hopefully husbands these days help around the home and not cavemen backward mentally unlike my chauvinist raised brothers. They are blessed there wives are very very patient

[@Tislyfe]

And this is the very reason we raised our 3 sons to be HUMAN😂😂they are 12, 14, and 16. Laundry, vacuum, organizing, and cooking. All 3 can and have their own styles (the 16 is the good cook!😜) i wanted to break that cycle(my brothers🙄all they did was go to school😒)

[@alinakasey7970]

Exactly how I feel! I’m so happy my youngest sibling is old enough to do things on his own. After he grew I was able to work on myself and stop people pleasing. Ladies you’ve got to set your boundaries, even with your parents!

[@piqueny8872]

@@alinakasey7970 not just parents need boundaries siblings need to appreciate and understand that life is difficult for you too since you too are a child of the household and going through similar life challenges.

[@alinakasey7970]

Absolutely agree! It takes a toll on your physical and mental well-being when your hard work and sacrifice isn’t appreciated. I reached a point where I lost it and refused to do anymore chores and only agreed to help if my brothers where cleaning and in the kitchen. There was a lot of resistance but it paid off.

[@mordecai8707]

this is so sad because you are still saying they're blessed men and stuff, it's not a casual issue at all. Oof

[@amydastgheer9667]

my first year anniversary is next month, its so hard to believe how fast a year flies by! Happy anniversary :)

[@alaaaaa4132]

Happy anniversary Amy!

[@bcotrell]

Oh this video was giving me all the feels. I also moved right after being married. We moved from Ohio to Nevada. I miss my family, friends, and activities so much, and I struggled with acceptance as well. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. Alhamdulliah. Wishing you the best in your marriage.

[@samiyalioness]

I feel your husband about the trash in the sink. Exactly what my husband is doing. And taking a different glass everytime he drinks sth. Like he drinks some sips of water and leaves the glass in the kitchen. Later he comes back and takes a new glass even though the other is standing right there.

[@mnek742]

Congrats on the first year! Btw adorable cat lurking behind the laptop around 14:39 LOL

[@shamrezy]

Mubarak to you for making it to 1 year! Mashallah! I can completely relate. It took and still taking me 3 years to adjust from California to New York. Def feel you on the nature part 🥲

[@TheBlushingGiraffe]

I loveeee videos like this, both watching them and making them haha. We need to talk about marriage more as a community and not just the wedding IMO, especially as lots of our parents aren’t as open with their own experiences, excited to watch this 🥰💜

[@Fatima-gr4zr]

Hi Tasneem, As someone that moved cities this summer, not for marriage, just needed a fresh start, I'm having a hard time finding ways to make friends. Even with some restrictions being lifted, it's really hard since everyone seems to already have their group. I would love to hear your insight on this. Also, would love to hear how you met your husband!

[@sneha3777]

Start with your colleagues maybe

[@SS-cu8se]

As someone who only has like one friend, my husband is my best friend and vice versa for him lol. We are both homebodies/each other’s favourite person so it works out for us, so fellow loners, don’t despair! My first year of marriage was a year of necessary reflection and changes. It was hard but it was hard because of me, not my husband. Getting married and moving out of the family home made me realize that I had a lot of internal issues that I needed to work on because I realized it was affecting the lens of how I was viewing my husband/marriage. I had to change a lot of habits, including what it was I consumed and who I allowed to have access to me (ie. letting go of people and friendships that did not serve me). When I changed and began to live a life that I was more mindful of, as opposed to having the same auto-pilot lack of awareness mentality I had before marriage, not only did my life get better but so did my marriage. Alhamdullilah self-reflection is really important and a lot of times it’s the first year of marriage that makes you realize A LOT about yourself and life. Also, sometimes the problem in your marriage is YOU, not your spouse lol. And it takes a good sense of awareness and honesty to realize this. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but it’s necessary.

[@sababa5689]

I can totally relate to this auto pilot lack of awareness

[@itsamy97]

Loved this! Your videos are always so insightful. It would be amazing if you could maybe do a video on what you guys talked about at 7:58, asking the important questions early on. I don't think you've talked about this in detail yet and it would be interesting to see what you need to know about a potential partner earlier on, in your opinion and from your experience. Happy Anniversary and keep making amazing content like this ❤

[@shinadevon4464]

I use ALL THE SPOONS in the house every time I cook!! That was so relatable haha.

[@unknowninvisible2519]

How many dishes do you cook at once? 😅

[@shinadevon4464]

@@unknowninvisible2519 haha sometimes it’s only one or two dishes at a time and I still do it. But it’s because I like to taste what I’m cooking as I go and make little adjustments to the spices etc and I don’t want to contaminate the dish by using the same spoon. So I end up using a lot of them.

[@jamilasalaam]

Omg hahaha me too lolz

[@renatoamadori4125]

Congratulations Tazzy Phe...!!! Greetings from Brazil...!!!

[@isabela.ringing2644]

I love the way you speak and the way you decimate information. Clear, consice and, to the point.

[@kawtharbakhach5848]

I love this girl so much. The realest Muslim KZbinr out there. The advice Yasmeen gave was also some of the most raw and honest I have heard mA

[@nnelson4557]

What an honest video. I’ve been married for a year and a couple months and so so relate with everything you’ve shared. Thank you and happy anniversary!

[@sarahghoseroy4795]

The first part about having to give up nature and being away from the familiarity of home really hit. Thank you. This was very validating.

[@mimam4747]

Yasmeen's advice was spot on! I'm on the 4th year and what can I say it's so bloody hard and testing but Allah gets me through!

[@aimeepaige4007]

Oh my gosh how has it been a year!? Congratulations you guys 😍❤️ Masha’Allah 😍😍❤️❤️❤️ Girl, everything you said about uprooting your life and the importance of having your own hobbies, and your spouse not being your only source of happiness was on POINT. I was ultimately the one who uprooted in our marriage, and for me it was photography that kept me from losing my mind and Hubbs is just not into it so it got me out of the house, doing my own thing, Alhamdulillah. It wasn’t easy but I’m a creative and without some kind of outlet I’d actually lose my mind.

[@JMashouf]

Happy anniversary. A lot of great points here. I've been married for 12 years now and would say building good communication habits as well as relationship with finances in those early years will make a healthier marriage down the road.

[@hithere1113]

OMG officially sponsored congratulations!!!! and congratulations on your one-year anniversary masha Allah!

[@ashleywolford948]

Happy Anniversary, it takes some courage to uproot your entire life and move to an entirely different state. The Village Auntie is also another great resource to utilize for these topics. These are super cute shoes and I really want a pair.

[@ssarwat2233]

I feel you with the whole outdoors thing. From NY to Dallas is hard. It's been 8 years and still can't get used to it

[@keyonaspeaks]

I got married during covid and moved to a new state. I have not made friends yet either. Grateful for a loving and hospitable mother in law. I stay in the house all the time. I a podcast episode about what marriage taught my husband and I. We grew so much a year later. I feel like I've grown more as a person after being married.

[@aichafirst]

Why are you advertising such nice shoes? I already have no money, now I will have even less money. Ugggghhhh

[@onechannel1803]

Loving the color pallette of your outfit 😍

[@romanarubyy1486]

Heyy! Thank you for this video! I'm actually moving to Texas as well after my wedding and I'm from NY. Can you do a video on a survival guide to Texas? Maybe on cool places to visit or how to adjust or make new friends in Texas. Thank you!

[@Belovedthelioness]

Thank you for sharing this Tazzy jaan ❤ Flying to Karachi to get married tomorrow Inshallah keep me in your duas please 🤲🏼

[@mahirasattar6388]

late congrats on the marriage!! hope newlywed life is treating you well

[@jasminefremdehake2354]

All the respect to you that you share good side of marriage and didn’t follow the rule of the black eye and envy an so on . And I will order these shoes I am onto sustainable wear currently

[@sadaqah117]

Sallam! Houston here. Out of all the places to move to....ugh! I have been here for eighteen years now. Kids grew up. Grand kids. Three failed marriages. ZERO FRIENDS here for the duration. Never stopped missing California and my friends I had...and still have..there. Texas is the hardest place to make Muslim friends as a female. The Muslim subculture here is so competitive and judgemental and obsessed with appearing to have wealth...🤮🤮🤮. I still hate it here. And I grew up here! But after converting to Islam 21 years ago, I left. Vancouver...amazing. SoCa....amazing. Texas... sucks.

[@camillem103]

Oh yay thank you for sharing 💜 as someone who grew up in Texas the need for adjustment is completely understandable lol

[@ummejoynob4549]

I also just finished a year. Alhamdulilah it flew by with the LOML🥰

[@Desijersey]

It's been a year already 😳, I completely have lost the concept of time🥲

[@globalshift8382]

You look really happy mashaallah Much love and support from Australia .....

[@alexisjankowski3281]

Those shoes look really awesome!

[@slytherinspy]

I'm interested to hear what other people think - I've lived on my own in the past and didn't find much extra added to my mental load (it didn't feel like more work that I now had to do groceries and cook for myself each night). Has anyone else who's lived alone and then gotten married found your mental load increased a lot? If so, why does this happen do you think?

[@Fatima-gr4zr]

Curious to hear this too. Although I can say that since moving out my mental load has increased but that could be for a number of reasons. Moving during the pandemic, lockdown restrictions, lack of interaction, etc.

[@Justcalmdown3]

mA so happy for you and I've love seeing your growth over the years, Tasneem! If you don't mind sharing at some point, when did you discuss financial stuff before marriage (if at all?) Given that it's such a big thing in marriage, at what point did you both decide to discuss it?

[@fathimamoolla]

Too many spoons 😂

[@user-ph3rb4tz5d]

Ha ha - I actually have bought extra packs of spoons because I also somehow use so many - I keep a jar of just random spoons on the counter. I’m getting married in 3 weeks and am now curious if he will notice my spoon habits!

[@twilight9237]

Hi Tazzy... love your chats! Very relevant content and hard hitting .. Go girl💕

[@rebelwithahaloxx1002]

May Allah always fill your marriage with blessings and happiness, so you both attain Jannah. Ameen. Ps that blue hijab though, serving looks 👌🔥😍 Tabarakallah

[@munthamumin5948]

Happy Anniversary and Allah bless both of you guys.

[@TheRahmeeTube]

you literally look so beautiful in this video mashallah

[@delhatton]

A spouse is not a project. You will both change. Constantly. Every day you will be dealing with a different person. You will grow together. You will grow apart. Tricky to deal with. Good luck.

[@lokirammsteiner2691]

Okay, I'm in love with these shoes

[@ghadat8391]

Loved Yasmeen input especially the idea of what a big issue is 👍🏼

[@unknowninvisible2519]

I've been married for almost a year as well. :) Just a few more days.

[@bootsmade4walking]

Love this video as always!

[@shaheenimamdin6255]

Every husband is different don’t listen to all sisters life there husband is not your husband so there experiences is different don’t put all in same bag your husband is wonderful person alhamdoulilah

[@thecolorjune]

“Surviving” sound so scary 🥺🥺 marriage sound like a huge amount of work. What makes it worth it to you?

[@JennineMr]

Omg.. “my access to nature” yes that was me.. I’m such an outdoor person...

[@AishaKhan-fo1jr]

Love the shoes, will be checking them out.

[@lovewins09]

Happy Anniversary!! ❤❤❤

[@beethovenn]

tazzyyy, when are you dropping that skincare routine? masha’Allah, you’re always glowing 😍

[@yarabayoumi8012]

the part during 11:00 is more adulting than marriage in my opinion. I moved with my brother when i was 18 and him 19 from ksa to canada for uni and the shifting of responsibility to make sure everyone is well fed and dressed is real. We went from relying on our parents to check the pantry to see what's missing to doing that ourselves. Not going to lie i kinda love it but i also cant wait to move out by myself hopefully. If moving out with my bro helped me grow ad learn, how much will living by myself teach me?

[@Rawwithhajra]

I LOVE YOUR ENERGY SO MUCHHHH MAY ALLAH BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU PROTECTED ❤️❤️❤️

[@MA-xy8rr]

Happy anniversary girl, treat yourself ❤️

[@Onajourney519]

Omg this is so similar to what I'm dealing with in my marriage!!

[@4huuno421]

Congratulations 🎉 may Allāh bless your union

[@unknowninvisible2519]

I love those shoes, too bad I can't afford it. 🥺

[@florakoller4629]

omg, besides the point, but the outfit is cute!! 🥰✨💘

[@aneesahkayani3932]

Happy Anniversary to you both❣️. May you live a long, happy, and healthy life together. Ameen 💖. Also, mashallah you look very pretty in blue 🥰

[@SalvatoreChick1864]

I loved this !

[@treectrice9180]

Congrats!! 👏🏽👏🏽💗💗

[@mililiarocks]

Your videos have been 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@na-mc4cv]

Surviving is the right word!

[@tarikmehmedika2754]

Being married and hanging out with the oerson you want to share your life with are 2 very different things. But before marriage, both of you have to be aware that you have to embrace good and bad things from that person, bad things more like simething different than bad. You have to make compromise, respect, communicate, be patient, and a great thing is for you to embrace others hobbies and let him/her enjoy it. Yeah finances and money spending should be consolidated. You have to look your family you make with your partner as a micro company, you have finances, PR, and so on. These things worked for me i am 4 years married and i am happy thank Allah. I wish you blessings from Allah. 😊

[@sneha3777]

Im never getting married, the world is a twisted place 😂

[@Bobby-lv2kr]

0:23 So we can finally see your hairs ... lol

[@nadiadansani2139]

Is Yasmine and attorney... feel like I’ve seen her a couple of times speak at events in the DMV area

[@saleha7977]

I am VERY interested in these shoes. also, happy anniversary

[@mr.blackculture8111]

Continued Success

[@AimzFolio2]

not gonna lie.. these are the only style of shoes that I buy/like/able to wear.. 😍 P.S. Happy Anniversary gorgeous. ❤ I'll be moving to Pakistan after living in Saudi for 22 YEARS and the change is just giving me next level anxiety... maybe make a video on that. Like transitions, change.. something like that..idk

[@lokirammsteiner2691]

I think that you shold combine the two and join some active female group, it may be gym, it may be sports club or something like that :)

[@shamslovesmusic815]

ill be your friend! Based in Atx / Dfw :)

[@nadiadansani2139]

Happy Anniversary

[@shaheenimamdin6255]

First year is the honeymoon year after 5 years and 10 years you will see lol 😂 I’m just teasing you Insha Allah you will fine and get adapted Allah love you alhamdoulilah don’t worry keep praying on times keep doing Zikr and keep forgiving your husband when he does mistakes as we all do and keep loving him and don’t worry having friends make Allah Subhanahu Tallah your friend 🥰🥰🥰And read Quran daily after fajaar and read Ayatul Kursk after every Swalaat Zikr and love your parents a lot spend a lot of times with them they are your best friends because they love you sincerely.

[@NiaPgn]

May Allah give you increasing love, happiness and good health in your marriage ❤️ flaws and all 😁❤️✨

[@minksrule2196]

I was watching this with headphones on and my mum looked at the screen and asked if you are a nun. We are muslim btw

[@SativaSeanLasVegas]

Peace, Quiet, Rest - that's most important to me. I work non-stop, Allah (swt) will send me the right bride Insha Allah. I leave everything in his hands in all things. My hobby is work, education, for joy, - Children!! Can't wait to have children :)

[@iLoveBollywood1000]

Plsss put subtitles tazzyyy

[@AmalLivedHere]

I love tazzy phe

[@ifyouknowyouknow6964]

I smelled his fart yesterday….😡😷 tried to lie. It was all the Korean we ate. He doesn’t take it well , he’s Italian lol

[@hadiyarayan7211]

It was our 4 year anniversary on aug 6th☺️☺️☺️

[@minakindo3243]

My "first year" lasted 3 years 😅

[@NiaPgn]

I’m in NY but I would be your zoom friend 🥺 (totally ok for you to ignore this comment tho lol) ❤️

[@rachelhutchins8758]

Using too many spoon club is rough

[@rifaiqbal7266]

I am so waiting for you to drop that feminism video sis! Love the videos 💕

[@aseelmh4530]

💓💓💓💓

[@khadijakamalisah2574]

Damn these are some shoes 😮

[@nawalh7931]

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

[@ThingsILove2266]

Husband is gorgeous

[@emmiee12]

The idea of marriage horrifies me . also disgusts me .

[@emmiee12]

@Excel at Excel there's no other way to be with someone

[@emmiee12]

@Excel at Excel I wanna be with someone

[@razer0072073]

@@emmiee12 Then marry a girl??