Survivor Guilt

In this clip, Frank Ochberg discusses survivor guilt. Sometimes after a traumatic event, a person may feel guilty for surviving or being uninjured when others were harmed.

[@nicholasslade8776]

Man, survivor’s guilt has got to be one of the worst feelings you can have

[@jammasterjason]

As a man who's survived where all his friends with his disease its like a weight you can't lift but it's videos like this help my disease is cystic fibrosis and I hope some others regardless of condition or difference that have the guilt of survival can offer me some advice

[@IH8klanada]

My mother. my father. my oldest son. the mother of my remaining children. all gone! I'm still here... 😢

[@MoleculeXmolecule]

Daynen Billy Hey man, I'm gonna need you to reply once a month to this comment. I want you to be ok.

[@IH8klanada]

I'm here bud!

[@MoleculeXmolecule]

Eyyyyyyy! Hear from you in a month. Enjoy your memorial day.

[@IH8klanada]

Thanks. Life either makes you or breaks you! I'm in the midst of making it. Dreams do come true if you stay focused and work hard!

[@tgree18]

That is too much to bare. Prayers are for you and I hope you make it!

[@MontgomeryMall]

This is a real condition. Many people who attended the Route 91 Harvest Festival in Las Vegas when the mass shooting incident began and survived are now experiencing survivor's guilt. It is not something that is easily overcome but what we can do is support and listen to them and reassure them that everything they did that day was okay.

[@AliciaGuitar]

I joined a support group for my rare disease back in the early 2000s. We became extremely close. I am almost the only one left. Every time it gets harder and harder. I dont understand why i am still hanging on and they never made it this far. Its pretty lonely and i dont feel worthy of getting to "beat the odds" when so many did not.

[@Uzair823]

Its ok, I was 13 and diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. Am 24 now time flies , we survive to live another day because of our struggles we are survivors

[@Jsh-so3py]

​@@Uzair823 It's for sure a battle, I got diagnosed November of 21 right after my 17th birthday in the hospital with DKA. It's a tough road to walk but many people walk tough path's we don't even experience. I hope you stay well, im still working on getting mine under control but it will come with time. Be kind to yourself.

[@brijmsn]

Witness is definitely a good word to describe some survivors

[@allyb3510]

My father killed him self two years ago this February, I still feel guilty about him being gone. There’s still a part of me that thinks I could have helped.. unfortunately I never got the chance due to him disowning me after my high school graduation so he could live his second life unattached to my mother and his past. I’m still very hurt. I know a lot of my remorse comes from having been suicidal myself and pulling myself through it.. I had a support system and I know he didn’t.. his wife alienated both my self and my grandmother so he didn’t have anyone but her to turn to. And trust me if it wasn’t in her favor she ignored or destroyed it..

[@rkrabindragon5326]

HI Ally, I don't know you personally, but this I know that it was not your fault what your father did. To be able to stand and survive through all the mess life has thrown at you, You are really strong. And I know your children will be blessed to have an incredible parent like you, who has endured pain and came out strong, to love and inspire them. I pray the best for you.

[@lisafrankenstein3657]

I feel you. I'm the one who distanced myself my sociopath dad and within that year he killed himself.

[@JoyceGFW]

In this clip, Frank Ochberg discusses survivor guilt. Sometimes after a traumatic event, a person may feel guilty for surviving or being uninjured when others were harmed.

[@danieldaniel-vb8rh]

man! Im doing an analytical essay and this video has given me int thanks

[@king_horik6477]

As someone who suffers from survivors guilt, do you have any suggestions to help when it get really bad? I know it is not my fault, but if I could have done more...their faces and deaths keep me up so much that now I've had to take sleeping pills to get a few hours. I am a former Infantryman and lost many close friends. Most times when it becomes to much I rely on drugs and alcohol to numb it, but I don't think me doing this is honoring them

[@DrewMcgough]

Jacob Donaldson you have to realize that whatever happened isn't your fault and that there's nothing more you could have done to prevent the death of the person you're mourning

[@JenniferEver]

My spouse died of an extremely rare cancer, quickly (7 months). I know the situation is different, but I also have tried to numb myself, I would have died instead. I don't understand. Part of me feels like I am dead, like I literally died with him. I am trying to face how complex this all gets psychologically. I can't keep up. I hope you have found some peace.

[@ariaahmadi7864]

@@JenniferEverhi Jennifer i know how you feel I wish my husband died out of cancer too but he got killed in front of our apartment this kills me because he hated that place and he used to tell me we need to move out but I didn’t move out he got killed on December 30 2023 right one month before we we’re going to finally move out of that place I feel so guilty I feel like living every day is not right we have 4 kids when I look at my kids I feel so guilty i feel like am I the same person that loved him unconditionally how can I stay alive not go and find him and tell him I’m sorry for what happened I just need to be with him world is not the same for me

[@antoniomv9444]

I survived a horrible car crash a month ago. 5 years of work for my parents to get that car, all lost because of some debree on the curve of a bridge. I was shocked and I can't remember what I tried to do, when I kost control and the car began spinning I felt a confusing excitement as if I was in a roller coaster, then the brutal hit of the disaster set in. It was destroyed, and I know I tried everything I could think of in that moment to save it. But I couldn't. Every day I feel weird to have survived that crash without harm, the bags opened and my seat belt kept me in place. Literally everyone is glad I survived without harm but I don't think it's fair i ended here while the car I ruined. Is it possible to feel survivors guilt even when no one else died and you just lost a material thing that had value in your life? Because if I am on the bus my mind begins telling me "Oh, you wouldn't be here if you didn't have crashed the car" or any fucking situation where the car would've helped I start to feel gross of being here, I deserve to be punished for a loss like that, I've been punished for so much less, I've been madily yelled at for a slippery plate breaking down. How can I stop feeling this way? How can I get those thoughts of my head?

[@Tyler_Skye77]

The part about being madly yelled at over things is quite relatable to me. That’s not an equal response to a slippery plate breaking. I know that things like that being treated this way throughout life (especially childhood) makes it feel like that’s how everything is supposed to work. But it’s not healthy to use that as the template for everything else to line up with. I try to use other things to gauge that, instead. It gets a bit easier, the more you do it. And having a support system helps a lot.

[@user-so4sv1dq4z]

Sorry For several years, I carried deep heavy painful feelings of guilt with me. Which have shifted again and again, as soon as I apologized to a person, for something. I carried the guilt with me and tortured myself, for several years. Until I learned that the One I really needed to apologize to was myself. I tortured myself the most. So I apologize to myself for what I have done to myself. And the intention to apologize is all. So I find my innocence; which I had once lost, again. And by apologizing to myself, I release my heavy guilt. And then I do no harm to others. Because I am at peace with myself and therefore with the world. Therefore, apologize to yourself if you carry deep feelings of guilt with you. Because you can't torture yourself and apologize to yourself at the same time. Tormenting inflicts suffering and apologizing takes away the suffering. "Anyway" and "yes" are the words that enable me to apologize to myself. Because I get impulses to get back into the hamster wheel of apologizing or torturing myself for things. But I say, "Yes, I'm apologizing to myself anyway." And I apologize to others when it is my free choice. And I use these two methods ways. By apologizing to people personally or apologizing to people within myself, if I don't want to make it personal. Because the honest intention is already enough.

[@petersuozzo1227]

I watched an uncle remain functional with survivors guilt, but I could see it wearing him down every day. I swear that it cut his remaining life by half.

[@RobbiePfunder]

i literally cant hear it at full volume

[@kylecribbon2532]

So this sucks. I've had it for 5 years but I use it to motivate me to not feel sorry for myself and not to stop going

[@tn_bluestem]

This condition affects me

[@michaelpierce9076]

I think the guy is completely off, I am absolutely looking for an answer.

[@user-so4sv1dq4z]

Sorry For several years, I carried deep heavy painful feelings of guilt with me. Which have shifted again and again, as soon as I apologized to a person, for something. I carried the guilt with me and tortured myself, for several years. Until I learned that the One I really needed to apologize to was myself. I tortured myself the most. So I apologize to myself for what I have done to myself. And the intention to apologize is all. So I find my innocence; which I had once lost, again. And by apologizing to myself, I release my heavy guilt. And then I do no harm to others. Because I am at peace with myself and therefore with the world. Therefore, apologize to yourself if you carry deep feelings of guilt with you. Because you can't torture yourself and apologize to yourself at the same time. Tormenting inflicts suffering and apologizing takes away the suffering. "Anyway" and "yes" are the words that enable me to apologize to myself. Because I get impulses to get back into the hamster wheel of apologizing or torturing myself for things. But I say, "Yes, I'm apologizing to myself anyway." And I apologize to others when it is my free choice. And I use these two methods ways. By apologizing to people personally or apologizing to people within myself, if I don't want to make it personal. Because the honest intention is already enough.

[@Tyler_Skye77]

@@user-so4sv1dq4z Hi (I’m new) I don’t know that I want to apologise to myself… I don’t want to allow myself to allow any suffering. I don’t know if that makes sense. My entire life, my drive has been to be moral & helpful to others. It feels like- if I tell myself I’m sorry & let myself feel peace for what happens to them- I’m only letting myself stop caring about others, which has always been my strongest trait. I feel like that’s my entire personhood- like I don’t even exist without that; & worse, I shouldn’t. Because that would be so immoral & careless. I don’t know how much I might be twisting things in my head.

[@jeffgrubbs2465]

I agrees sir

[@RainyB0i]

Starting to think I have survivors guilt…

[@chriszablocki2460]

I don't wish I had done more. I wish I had known enough to do ANYTHING. God is actually the only thing I can reasonably trust. Maybe that's the silver lining. I don't know.