Taking things personally? 6 ways to STOP

[@Katimorton]

You may also find this video helpful. How to stop you from feeling stuck in life: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jpCldZebhKtkhLcsi=ZH5hx_Rh0nTptcXG

[@Billy33753]

Learned to reframe thoughts with cognitive distortions

[@nikkimckay860]

@katimorton. You looked beautiful and it's always good to see you and listen to your soft calming voice your mental health videos are always so important and helpful. In this video I can definitely relate to and understand the things you share I am very guilty of bad self care I don't eat often or enough I don't sleep when I should I also don't take care of my cleanness or health properly like I should I already struggle with detachment I don't go out very much and I don't have any close friends ❤😢

[@robertbeacham6286]

Hello Katie , Some of my family members really push my buttons . They really know what not to say to me and how to say certain things to them . If I express myself to them I would always use the sweetest possible words with very little and the mildest temper . A very sweet , soft and the kindest words will turn away anger but however very harsh words will stir up anger . Katie , that’s in the Bible !! It will never be easy for me because some people will push my buttons . Thanks 🙏 you !!

[@Norman8829]

Emotions are children ✅ don’t let them drive the car but you also can’t put them in the trunk…brilliant Kati, thank you ❤

[@k91pl]

That analogy is just beautiful! Kati is a true gift in the KZbin community.

[@arrow1-b2v]

I learned this late in life but we have to learn to not take everything personal because is super draining and doesn’t fix anything ❤ be kind with yourself ❤😘

[@Katimorton]

Agreed!! It can be so draining!! xoxo

[@EmbraceTheStruggle24]

For sure 🙏 💯

[@MultiTalisa]

I still have questions.

[@puturro]

"It's your choice to take this personally" this phrase from Rick and Morty put things in perspective for me

[@Teamshmo]

The only thing that has ever helped me is somewhat like the mastery technique you listed. Basically, just focusing on taking action at things you know how to do, or taking action towards your goals. It is very difficult to listen to other people or think of negative thoughts when you are actually taking action towards your goals. If someone or your own brain starts talking negatively about you it is easy to block it out because you are literally doing stuff to better your life at that exact second. The only issue is you need a very full day because the second you stop you might start feeling poorly again. That is when I try to think of all the things I accomplished that day and all the things I am grateful for. Thinking of things that went right shifts your thoughts to positive things

[@siennaprice1351]

My sensitivity comes from both ASD and CPTSD. I feel like I’m getting better at not taking haters’ words to heart like I used to. Now, the negative self talk is a big one for me. “You’re not allowed to feel dysregulated. You’re less if you feel dysregulated. You’re only deserving and worthy of love when you’re happy and regulated 24/7. You’re not allowed to have flashbacks, get over it. It’s not ok that you do that because the rest of the world frowns upon that. I don’t care if it makes you comfortable, it’s different from everyone else.” I also am afraid to reach out to make friends or even people I idolize. They may not know much about people who are completely blind, autistic or have CPTSD. They won’t want me to do the things that make me comfortable and safe in my own skin. They’ll frown upon emotions that aren’t linked with happiness. I often seek shame, judgment and criticism rather than support and validation and love when I’m dysregulated.

[@leonievh1223]

This make me rethink things again where I still need some work in my life Thank you❤

[@Katimorton]

Of course! So happy to help :) This issue is one so many of us struggle with. xoxo

[@shawnswift3334]

This is a constant battle I'll never win

[@stoffls]

I see it more positive - there are battles in this war I will win and I am working on it. But it is really hard work!

[@Seekingsophia00]

​@@stofflsThe only true enemy is the enemy within. Get out of your own way.

[@AngryChoad]

Don't try meth, whatever you do stay away from meth.

[@shawnswift3334]

How ? I know im my biggest enemy and im so hard on myself its unreal. ​@@Seekingsophia00

[@BEACHDUDE71]

It's usually about them, transferring their issues on you

[@kylasanchez]

Thanks for always making videos, Katy. Currently i don’t have access to a therapist but your topics act as a guide for me in navigating my mental state. Thank you.

[@FoolintheRain123]

I really like the analogy of the child in the back seat and not allowing the child to drive. Thank you Kati.

[@charthers8903]

A shower can change your life - sounds impossible but it’s so true

[@c_dizzlee]

Thank you so much for this video. I’ve been following since 2019. I’ve grown so much since then and watching this made me proud of myself because I find myself using these tools to get past a negative space. Thank you for affirming I’m on the right path and to keep moving forward. You’re amazing and I appreciate your content.

[@tomara6seized9the6now]

This was very helpful, thank you! I don't take things too personally but I get nervous since in the past I've found that people have felt I set out to hurt them when I just needed some space from loved ones during times of high stress to figure my future out or call out an unkind or toxic perspective/behavior in a group

[@Kattpt]

Thanks! I can't afford to see a therapist, but I really feel like I've had a great therapy session after watching you!!

[@BoostedPastime]

Thank you Kati because I needed this. You are a good teacher.

[@nicolemarie1909]

This helps so much

[@Katimorton]

I am so glad :) xoxo

[@jordanhernandez8990]

This video was very helpful. Thank you for sharing

[@MissEmbersong]

One thing I recommend to anyone and everyone when wanting to get better at emotional management is Mindfulness. I was someone who certainly did NOT believe in it (a quote I once said was "it's hippie bullshit", so that'll paint a picture for you) - and now I see the immense benefits of having a mindfulness/meditation practice regularly, ESPECIALLY if you're someone who is highly sensitive or easily reaches high affect states, I myself have BPD for example. It doesn't have to be much, 5-10 minutes a day. You don't have to "zen out" and think of nothing, that's only a very specific meditation technique which isn't the end all be all. Mindfulness is about notice. "Watch" your thoughts and just observe them as they fly along. You can do walking/moving meditations and mindfulness practices if sitting still is difficult. Find a way that works for you, because I swear it works wonders on gaining a greater ability to not just REACT to everything you feel. #1 tool in my toolbox these days, 4 years out from therapy! ♥

[@heidicameron878]

Thank you Katie I needed to hear this today!!!

[@peregrine_crescent]

Thank you so much, Kati! Your recomendations are so helpful, i needed that today ❤

[@KainKustomGarage]

Thanks Kati!

[@cyndigooch1162]

It can be very.tricky though, because it is extremely personal sometimes, especially if being targeted by people who view me and other sensitive souls as easy targets, whereas they leave other types alone. Another important point is that it means that the types of people who bully, or pick on others, can keep doing so, then tell everyone not to take things personally, which has happened me. 🙁

[@djtdawg87]

Thank you Kati that was a wonderful, wonderful video 😊

[@dabbler1166]

Glad to have this video available. I like the part about "take a break from responding." Maybe it comes with AGE? Not sure, but, somehow, it is getting easier to tell myself: "i don't NEED to respond to everything." It doesn't mean that i necessarily agree with the criticism. Most times, i don't. And it saves me from wasting time arguing. The BIG thing that always, and still does, bother me is when: 1. i tell a 3rd party person, after the fact, about a converation i was in where someone said "X", and the person now listening to me says: "well, don't take it personally"......but.... the reason it bothered me in the FIRST place was: "dont take it personally? But it was a 1-on-1 conversation. Who the Hell ELSE were they talking to?? Nobody but me. No one else was there, so how is it NOT personal?? or-- the people who, while they may not mention your name out loud, specifically, its obvious to anyone who graduated high school that they are nonetheless "implying like hell.". And yet, somehow, for all that,.... its getting easier....to be "comfortable within", because i know who i am, and what i do, AND why i do, or dont, do it. I dont have to RE-explain that for every criticism. Also, quite often in my "Arsenal", it is all-too-easy to embarras them right back, in front of others. How? Because of their blatant hypocrisy (which makes it very easy to give clear, definite examples, which i do) and they will either: A) go Ballistic (which i let others see) or B) the embarassment instantly shuts 'em up. "Mission Accomplished!"......have another cold Beer and carry on with some mellow jazz to relax.

[@2222_sSs]

Thank you, I needed this video ❤

[@miuruzen]

Awesome video again. ❤ I like to watch these, they are so helpful... even if I still feel lost. But Kati's videos usually make me think and she is always so kind and tells clearly what she means. ❤ That armor thing for example. I always hated how my mon would say "you have to harden yourself and not to be so sensitive". She didn't help or tell how and she made it always feel like it was bad thing that I am sensitive, because the way she says it. But Kati explains it clearly and always make it feel like it okay to be this way but you can make your life little bit better/easier if you learn these different tools. Maybe little by little and with time I can get there too - for better, happier and more positive life. 😊

[@TianaBarker]

In this many you’re more helpful telling us to not things personally but my dad doesn’t I try to explain to him what you’re doing or saying hurts me and he says you can control how you react to things and to stop taking things so personal and it just makes me even more sad and mad because I’m trying to tell him why I’m feeling this way and it just feels like he sweeps it under the rug and it makes me just want to be completely alone cause I’m done trying to explain myself when the other isn’t trying to be understanding even if they don’t understand I feel so heartbroken and fucked up rn

[@ThatGurl-poe]

So sad of your situation right now and the fact that you don't give up is the best thing so just keep going, we can't pleas people and whatever you do people will just say what they want. So, just focus on yourself and don't let them down you. ☺️

[@Astro_Aladfar]

A great video!

[@jennahd5320]

This is helpful for me. Thank you. ❤

[@nicolemarie1909]

Good advice

[@sheltiesrthebest8557]

Thanks this was very helpful.

[@Katimorton]

Glad to hear it!

[@SoOkThenLetsGo]

Thank you for help in ou have the ability to use reframing while driving but I really need to improve in other areas of my life.

[@JoaquinRomolor-n3t]

I keep reminding myself Love Thyself Please ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ Don't be to hard on yourself. Thank you Ms.K cool exercise.

[@xavariel]

So hard to not take things personally, when I'm autistic and have bad cPTSD.. sigh.

[@AlexSmith-wy3le]

Heyoooo this one right here. Phew! *solidarity*

[@fifteenbyfive]

*huggs*

[@1Dishonorable]

I have seen the real meaning to work in mental health, I know trust no one, I know man

[@kevincarrieson5857]

One technique I have found very useful is to ignore junk thoughts. If my mind is talking on its own I can usually ignore it. The rule of thumb is "If I didn't think it I can ignore it." Often the mind talks because of inner stress, but it doesn't say anything useful . It's a radio in the background and unimportant. Two counterpoints to this technique are 1) Dedicate time to self care, and 2) Do identify and attend to thoughts from other parts of yourself, and thoughts caused by infections.

[@markronan5769]

Thanks for the help

[@paigemalloy4276]

Lol I needed this one ❤

[@Katimorton]

xoxox

[@bmandiego]

Nice video, Thanks!

[@1Dishonorable]

As I'm numb it's helpful for, I use my analytical mind. Someone brought me into jealously once and she made me feel happiness for the second time.

[@cindyc12]

This is harder when it comes from your own parents.... Definitely will take into account a person emotionally response is not mines to absorb

[@MultiTalisa]

I should have done this kind of work on myself a long long time ago.

[@MichelleKennedy-sd5yl]

Sometimes the target has hurt others and people are angry for awhile,but you have to wear it for awhile particularly if you weren’t big enough to apologise ever😮

[@NYKensington]

Thanks, Katie

[@Katimorton]

You are so welcome :) xoxo

[@jasminaloulova9202]

Thanks. Katie! Great advice. The main take outs are: Don't take anything personally. Other's people toxic behavior is on them, shrug it off. You don't need validation. While you can always improve, you are good on your own.

[@clintonnagy1662]

Hi Kati. Ive watched many of your videos, and wanted to reachout by saying I enjoy your content. Your knowledge on narcissism helps me understand myself and makes adjustments for the greater good in myself. Seeing how gorgeous you are and watching your videos makes me ask the question if youre ever in Ohio to visit for coffee or walk a museum? As weird as it sounds...Just putting it out there. Lol

[@MinKcook]

Do a alcohol abuse video and it's dangers and emotional issues and health problems linked to it.

[@streamofawareness]

One trick I’ve been trying to do lately is- let’s say I’m getting clothes out of my closet and two hangers get stuck together and I drop a shirt. Instead of going “the universe hates me and I’m a failure because I’m mad about a shirt falling” I try to go “okay, that happened” and keep it neutral. I pick up whatever fell, fix it and close the closet to put out whatever I removed from it. “That happened” is a neutral statement. Maybe it’s a bridge statement.

[@pearljamin]

I am not sure how I got through work yesterday. I called the suicide hotline as I left work. I put my life in the hands of the workplace bully. I see her treat everyone like garbage yet still take it personal. I’ll say that again for myself I see her treat everyone like garbage yet still take it personal. I was right about one thing. I cannot continue on like this and I won’t. Im going to be here for my daughter, for my sister, and for me.

[@ListerLekhuleni]

Hey Kati I know this is off topic but I'm a black female teenager from South Africa and I started therapy recently but I always feel so uncomfortable to tell her anything because she stares into my soul and I'm no longer able to speak

[@ShadyPlatinum777]

Just be open about your feelings to her. I know it’s hard to open up but remember they’re a professional.

[@beckygrimes7596]

@@ShadyPlatinum777or switch therapists.

[@Henryz90]

When people are shit and treat you bad it tells it' s their problem and they may have mentally problems. It's not you. I always say this to myself but still many times all critic and comments about my work ruin my day and i take it personally

[@naddyn685]

Looking so happy and relaxed Kati! What’s the secret recipe 😊

[@dani5639]

Thank u ❤

[@Reshu-yq4ck]

Thank u

[@heidicameron878]

What if it’s a friend avoiding me??? Do I just stop talking to them??? I have been friends with this person 27 years. I’m feeling disconnected with her. Trying not to take this too personally.😢😢😢

[@Ohsnapitzann]

Going to middle school has taught me not to take the things people say or do personally.

[@nikkimckay860]

Hello everyone all kati Morton subscribers and members sending care /prayer s and support your way hope you are well and getting the help and support you need ❤🙏🏻🙂

[@Katimorton]

xoxox

[@tonyschannel7438]

Should taking what someone says personally depend on who's saying it? Like a close friend or family member vs a complete stranger?

[@Billn1971]

I have a narcissistic family member. I know they mean it, to tear me down. I've gotten good at just walking out.

[@qamaruzzamanmalik7152]

I m so sensitive around my weight, and when anyone say to me I don't do excercise and all it hurts me , Because someone rejected me by saying you are not beautiful anymore because you are fat now. And every time I gain weight I feel like my partner will leave me. And I think to myself if men ever love women who are not beautiful and skinny.

[@anamoller9394]

How do I get a consultation for therapy ?

[@Katimorton]

Unfortunately, I am not able to offer one on one therapy at this time. xoxo But there are amazing options online like TalkSpace and Betterhelp :) xoxo

[@deezlife]

This oen is harder with family. I am aways getting mixed messages from them.

[@BenTrevizo-z8i]

Everytime I simply write about my life and it's real events I am thereafter punished by more severe consequences by others for simply doing what they all get to do without ultimatum or threats to hardship and death..I feel upset .I feel they will hurt and beat me more

[@msxeunybunxy]

Can you do a video on the different type of thought distortions?

[@AlexSmith-wy3le]

Now how to incorporate all this into chronic, profound illness. And ableism and gaslighting from people closest to us. On top of getting it from society on the reg. I don't know if this is entirely within my ability to achieve with society being built and run by traumatic isms. Ideally my closest people wouldn't be some of the most harmful as well. And illness limits ability and energy to branch out socially or coping-wise. I feel so lacking in resilience but so limited in resources to cope. Isolation is profound with being housebound and taken care of by caregivers. Most days I am just trying to build resilience to want to keep existing. When someone close to me does or says something harmful, ignorant, ableist, and compounding on my medical trauma, it's so hard to regulate from that. Me talking with them that day is likely one of one or two social interactions I've had that day. The impact of the behavior becomes that more profound at that point. I just hate feeling so broken and unable to weather this stuff. Trying so hard to practice some emotional detachment and other techniques mentioned here but when those interactions are often what's keeping me tethered to existing and reality right now, it's hard. Ty for sharing these tips. Trying to remember them as I navigate this journey.

[@youarestrong2977]

How to deal with toxic people who may mock us directly in front of us? should we be patient with silence ? Will it have a direct effect on our mentality?

[@jasminaloulova9202]

There are 2 ways: 1. Ignore them, don't respond 2.If you want to respond, being mocked in front of other people, say: That's your opinion and shrug. I hope this helps and of course, don't take it personally.

[@dormanigiri4817]

Everybody lets spam this video to MJ. He takes it personally

[@Georgi-Slavov]

"One more idiot!" My way of not taking it...

[@inightflight712]

Are you part of the uscca class? Commercial

[@joshnicholson2934]

Tell gen Z this

[@iqratakreemsaeed2862]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@BenTrevizo-z8i]

What about being purposely being forced to live without God?. I feel like I'm being murdered repeatedly over and over.People have let another moment pass another hour gone and now another day passed too where they are aware of the grand sin committed towards one with no stpppage to simply cease desist and permit one fairness as they all have.

[@MaisUmaJuliana]

♡

[@j0.ZEF-Who]

HALT - JK JK YOU GOT THIS

[@sarinalight7422]

Yup, Shit Island, Stinks. Thnx for your clarity Katie

[@mahmoudahmed-jc8ib]

You are so great and wise, but I can't benefit from ur videos. You have one problem you are so beautiful that I can't concentrate on what you say. Please make videos with ur voice only

[@kethereverett]

ohh i get so lost in those big beautiful blue eyes of yours its hard to pay attention what you are saying

[@Lioness_of_Gaia]

Thanks! 🩵💚💛

[@Katimorton]

You are so welcome :) Glad it was helpful!! xoxo

[@199nightingale]

This video came at the right time 🫠 Thank u ❤

[@AngryChoad]

Why did Katie have to criticize me so badly? Ugh.. I feel awful. Wait, I think I need to watch the video again, she briefly mentioned something about thinking this way. I think it was toward the end somewhere.