Teaching Is Way Harder Than It Looks - Dry Bar Comedy

Teaching is way harder than it looks, and we think 2020 proved that to a lot of people. These Dry Bar Comedians were once upon a time real teachers teaching real students, and the experiences they had are absolutely hilarious. We hope you enjoy this compilation of comedians talking about what its like to be a teacher.
Comedians featured in this compilation include
Cory Michaelis
• You're Not Colorblind....
Brian Moote
• When You Have PTSD Fro...
Chad Thornsberry
• Small Town Problems. C...
Orlando Baxter
• Be Careful Who You Bul...
Want More Dry Bar Comedy?
Check us out on our other social media channels.
Facebook: / drybarcomedy
Instagram: / drybarcomedy
TikTok: vm.tiktok.com/gfQo9S/
Twitter: / drybarcomedy

[@debbiecardamone1946]

I am a retired teacher in FL. One day on the first day of school while teaching my second graders a few years back I was telling them how I came to FL from OH. One kid couldn’t contain himself, jumped out of his chair, so impressed by that as he exclaimed: “You came all the way from Ohio? Wow! How did you learn English so fast?!?” Our first lesson was a geography lesson.

[@jerrybiv1441]

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

[@juliafox52]

Reminds me of a story the band teacher told me: he was taking a group of kids to a band festival from St. Louis, MO, across the bridge to Illinois when one very nervous kid came up to him and anxiously asked if they spoke English in Illinois. He said, "...and HE was the smart one."

[@Doggieworld3Show]

[Insert Jonan jameson laugh]

[@yaowsers77]

🤣😂🤣😂

[@lynnhazen1179]

Good thing because in some Fl schools we don't teach geography AT ALL.🤨

[@Chris-or7it]

College professor here. Most of my students are defiantly not collage ready.

[@99brooklynnn]

Maybe the education system itself failed the students instead. Not necessarily teachers but often emphasis is placed on short term memory and not retention of knowledge. Our eduction system fails many kids, doesn’t mean they’re all stupid.

[@lazybaden8359]

Mostly these days 🤣🤣🤣

[@Perry_Neum]

My daughter has been making collages since 1st grade. She's definitely collage ready.

[@DeadInside-ew8qb]

“Defiantly”, prof?

[@Chris-or7it]

@@DeadInside-ew8qb it's a reference to the standup routine.

[@boredmoroccan2401]

I think teachers need to be rewarded by the phrase "Thank you for your service." as well

[@HonestlyAnnaFun]

Right???!!!

[@TheMargarita1948]

But not waiters.

[@anniewarbucks9697]

@@TheMargarita1948 THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE in making sure that my Uber eats 5 billion calorie meal is packaged perfectly! For reals- I’d leave you a fantastic tip. I’m a teacher who has waited tables. And I loved waiting tables more than teaching many times! Xxxx❤️

[@jerrybiv1441]

I am a High School graduate (class of 09’) & I FULLY AGREE!!! I WILL PROUDLY stand & say to all teachers “I Thank You for your service to the American children/teenagers & young adults”

[@janicebriones2003]

That is interesting that you mentioned. Last week, I was told 3 times in 3 different locations, "Thank you for your service," when they found out I was a teacher!

[@sharimedleyed.s.166]

I’m currently a teacher (23 years in middle school) & it’s not the kids that are the problem, but usually the parents (they’re enablers)…. they usually maintain that their little baby-angel can do no wrong; instead of, working with the teachers to help these kids become mature, productive members of society.

[@tracypolselli1464]

My daughter was bullied by the meanest girl in the sixth grade (she even got one of my daughters friends to join in). But because her mom was this type of parent, they let the bully slide. That was easier for them than dealing with the mother.

[@sharimedleyed.s.166]

@@tracypolselli1464 That’s where the phrase, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree comes from.” I am so sorry your daughter had to go through this. My belief is, with your encouragement, she will have come out a stronger person for having walked through the fire. God bless you both.

[@katherinefaulkner9358]

I can’t LIKE 👍 this enough.

[@lorihenderson4519]

Whoo boy are you right. We just use that phrase "apple/tree" as code to warn other teachers. My favorite question: why did you give my kid an F? "I didn't." Well it says he has an F. "Oh yes, he EARNED an F." But he turned in all the work. "And earned an F on most of it." 🙄

[@missyelles2992]

It’s a veritable orchard out there and the harvest is abundant!

[@SarahLizDoan]

Rotfl.... “You called my daughter stupid” “I’d never call your daughter stupid. I ASKED her if she was stupid” Lol 😂

[@ferzinhaN]

@@hannahhsu99 I'd prove them wrong.😏

[@joshuayoung6217]

If you can't determine the difference between jokes and reality, comedy shows might not be for you. Go back to school, and learn how to laugh lol.

[@reverseturtle9005]

Hannah Hsu.... ok snowflake, go back to your safe space

[@mirsaes]

@@hannahhsu99 I'm pretty sure the teacher doing the comedy skit would not ask a student that question because if he did he would be in trouble. You need to relax and stop being offended at everything...it's comedy. As a teacher, the best advice I can give you is to keep your sense of humor or you're gonna end up losing your mind.

[@NoliMeTangere1163]

@@hannahhsu99 As a veteran teacher Hannah, two thoughts: 1) it's a joke, 2) when February of year 3 hits you in the face harder than any brick wall imaginable, you will understand. Good luck.

[@nteague3854]

You cannot discipline a kid while you are laughing! 😂 So true. I feel you Mr. Buttnugget.

[@Lynda007-]

He had me howling about the school pictures

[@kingnano1172]

As a teacher from ages of infancy, toddlers, preschooler’s… everything about kids smelling weakness is ACCURATE 😂

[@sandrasews3765]

😂😂😂😂they know

[@onemercilessming1342]

Yes!!! They smell fear and will expose and exploit weakness. Oh, and so will their parents and YOUR administration.

[@andreapaolabaezpaz9733]

Yessssss, they can smell terror ! Muahahaha!!!!! 😂

[@YouilAushana]

And little kids are more honest

[@juliafox52]

@@YouilAushana Brutally honest! Me personally, I prefer this now that I'm used to it. It was definitely terrifying at first. Lol.

[@UncleNath]

"I got tired of driving to work each day wishing the building was on fire."

[@gecko9974]

Not just the students who think that

[@brendamarmon8275]

Me too,or flooded

[@FigaroHey]

I have so been there. Quit or blow the place up. I quit. Blowing the place up would have meant going back there.

[@stephj9378]

I used to get a cramped stomach when I approached my urban high school . Every day almost during the first year. Here's the good part: Now, almost 30 years later, I sometimes see my old students in the community. I love seeing them, sometimes with their children and spouses.

[@lilyflower1168]

That was me!!! They scarred me for life and 7 years after quitting, I am still in therapy!!

[@onemercilessming1342]

This is a retired teaching speaking: NOTHING in your expensive college-level teacher education preparation classes...I repeat, NOTHING in your expensive college-level teacher education preparation classes prepares you for teaching. Just so you know. College professors who haven't been in a public school classroom for over 20 years will lead you to believe that the children are going to stand when you enter the classroom, bow deeply, and say: "Oh noble and highly-educated one, fill me with your wisdom." NOPE. It's more likely that they will stare you down and say, bluntly, "I dare you to try to teach me something. I dare you". Now, having said that, if you stand your ground, establish boundaries, are unfailingly sympathetic, caring, consistent, and FAIR, they will respond positively to your instructional minutes. MINUTES. They're good for about 10...or less. Just pretend you're a video game. No, Seriously. I loved teaching. The kids were great. Their parents sucked, but the kids were great.

[@laurieashley2358]

So true! There is much wisdom in this post!

[@onemercilessming1342]

@Mike Jones--How nice for you. You want to talk culture? I have scars on my right hand from a parent attack!! Why? Her little darling brained a fellow student with a rock because he didn't like "the look" of the child and another teacher and I wrote a referral on him. The other teacher escaped this assault, but was a few days later beaten badly by a father for writing a referral on his baby boy for doing the same thing. We were BOTH told by the principal of that school never to report the incident to the police or she'd personally see to it we never taught again. We were both single mothers and couldn't afford to lose our jobs. She was promoted to an administrative position downtown until she and her sister--also a district employee--were caught ransacking a special fund for indigent children. Try teaching in an inner city ghetto/barrio in which the residents are fourth generation welfare recipients, gang warfare is a daily occurrence, lockdowns at the school sites occur with disgusting regularity, illegal alien anchor babies make up over 60% of the student body and REFUSE to learn English, and the spineless administration fear the words, "I'm calling downtown and filing a lawsuit" more than anyone else. Unless and until you work in the hellhole I did, you have no idea of how bad a school culture can be. I am made of sterner stuff, bucko, and I stuck it out to retirement. I now live a quiet, peaceful, and happy life far away from that cess pit and enjoy the company of my family, friends, and good neighbors. No drive-by shootings. No lockdowns. No assaults and batteries. No threats to my person. No more scars. Oh, by the way....I have taught in a private school and night school and in one other public school district before this one. I know what it's like to have the respect and the admiration of fellow faculty, support of administration, and the affection of the parents. It doesn't exist in ALL places. Be glad you landed in a place that was far kinder than the one I did.

[@rafaelnegrete1376]

As a tutor whose currently receiving teacher training, this is so true, you just have to be in there with those children, mano y mano, and the best way to get everyone to learn is building rapport with them, because I was helping high school students and all they need is someone to show them that it's going to be okay, and while we'll do everything we can to help you get there, you just have to give it time, because everyone is fighting their own battles. But you can never forget the principal objective; to make sure they get the skills to move on.

[@onemercilessming1342]

@@rafaelnegrete1376--You're naïve. But you'll learn. You CAN NOT overcome the community leaders and organizers. They have no desire for the children to learn and grow up and away from their control/influence. So long as their "constituents" remain under their thumb, they are VOTES and that gives men like Jesse Jackson, and Al Sharpton and others the power they crave. Don't believe me? Take a trip to the coal fields of Northeastern PA. The are had little or no upward mobility. The owners of the coal mines held sway, telling the miners for whom to vote, with their power reinforced by the Roman Catholic Church. Those of us with brains and talent got out by one of three ways: military, football scholarship, academic scholarship. Today those little towns are practically ghost towns. Those little men who owned the mines pulled up their fortunes when the mines played out and moved to resort retirement locations, leaving behind grinding poverty and not much opportunity. Those who will not learn from history are doomed to repeat it---G. Santanya. I've done my bit for God and country. Now it's your turn. Good luck...mostly, you'll be shoveling shite against the tide.

[@rafaelnegrete1376]

One MercilessMing I’ll do my very best.

[@peggyrider2364]

"These monsters feed on weakness!" I'm dead. Legitimately dying 🤣

[@setlhapelomokwape86]

It is so true. 🤣🤣

[@ASMRyouVEGANyet]

Are you still alive? Or did you legitimately die?

[@peggyrider2364]

@@ASMRyouVEGANyet Definitely dead still 😎

[@JOHN----DOE]

First legit lesson in Teacher Ed 101.

[@jacoblinares2403]

@@ASMRyouVEGANyet if only they called an ambulance instead of commenting on KZbin

[@onemercilessming1342]

My son sent me, a retired teacher, this meme when the schools were closed: (keep in mind that there are about 57 million school-aged children in the USA). "Fifty Seven million sets of parents are about to find out that the TEACHER may not have been the problem after all!"

[@melvina628]

They knew that already. Remember that those are the same parents who raised those students.

[@hippiecowgirl4231]

I bet they have a whole new level of appreciation for them.think of it, they are dealing with as many as 30of other peoples children who they aren’t allowed to spank

[@melanytodd2929]

One MercilessMing : yes❣.

[@cyny6305]

Woo Hoo!! Awesome. Maybe they'll have a new appreciation for how poorly teachers are paid to civilize their little darling. Yeah, NOW we'll see who the class bully really is.

[@onemercilessming1342]

@Soft Breezy Day--I am in my eighth decade. I hold two degrees (one in mechanical engineering), three teaching credentials and a host of certifications. It never ceased to amaze me that people who had quit school at 14 or so to have their first out-of-wedlock baby felt so free to tell me how to do my job. It's no better with "professional" women, such as realtors, hairdressers, manicurists, and others with state licenses and not much else. The absolute WORST were the trophy wives of doctors, dentists, and lawyers. They were SOOOO entitled, their children were being raised by household staff, nannies, child care agencies, The Boys and Girls Clubs, and the YM/YWCAs that hosted programs for school children. Their interactions with their children were relegated to the Saturday carpool to soccer and not much else. And the little buggers could do no wrong in their doting parents' eyes.

[@CharlotteWebb1952]

Teacher Rule #1: Perfect your Death Stare.

[@spekkadujst3423]

Gonna be honest that after a full teaching career my teeth are ground down from gritting and saying "What your homework is not done again" speaking through my teeth and I can i think hold a penny in the furrows of my forehead with out holding it there. For sure I can do a bobby pin no problem. ;)

[@crystalleopard6900]

If I’m gonna be a teacher I’m gonna be like Snape or Remus they’re like my personalities when I teach my friends new things😂😂😂😂 mainly when I’m just teaching someone 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

[@bracita15]

Lord, I’ve got mine down. I took my Teacher Assistant out to dinner and she tried to pay. She put the check down and told me that the look I gave her was scary. For the love of God, I didn’t even realize I was doin it! 😔 I’m retired now.

[@AdultThirdCultureKid1971]

Show no fear. This line is from Kindergarten Cop. ;-) You need the Teacher Voice to go with that Death Stare. LMAO!

[@christinarodriguez7642]

Serenity Now HILARIOUS!!

[@mbrennan459]

I learned more my first year of teaching than I did my entire college experience. Any adult who has been in a classroom for more than a day has stories just like this. Bravo gentlemen! You should receive a coffee mug and a jeans day for this!

[@ladykemma3]

Jeans day. How little makes us happy

[@writingteacher]

Only if you wear a school t-shirt with those jeans and donate a dollar for something you have no idea you’re donating for. 😂

[@elizabetha6346]

Jeans day for the win!!

[@Frostbunny13]

I had a student who would hiss at people. One day he hissed at me so I hissed back. His face was hilarious.

[@emptymelodies3316]

When that one guy talks about holding in laughter with your back turned to the students after one of them says something hilarious is so true lol

[@keeshabrown7353]

Yep. Especially in Pre-K. Lord Willing, we'll be together in the classroom again one day. We must be patient and keep the Love flowing

[@genwatson4834]

Yep also welcome to parenting! I have spent half of my daughter's life trying not to laugh while disciplining her!!!

[@genwatson4834]

@@keeshabrown7353 My cousin told me that she learned never to talk to kindergarten teachers because they know EVERYTHING about your family!!!!

[@shaneecuevas7990]

2nd grade. I just let it go! 😂

[@dean9325]

there is always one? Not my chosen profession...Miss it. Why?

[@evieartstudios8106]

“No, don’t clap, I got out, don’t clap.” 😂😂😂

[@abigase135]

I quit Now you can clap😂

[@jamesdakis9691]

First day of class when I was teaching I told my students that there WAS one stupid question..." Will this be on a test?" I explained that if I took the time to teach it and the state figured it was worth paying me to be there, the answer ahead of time was, "It might be". Nobody ever asked.

[@jasmyne332]

I’ll be using this

[@raybin6873]

Brilliant!😜

[@slvrangel22]

I get, "Will these be graded?" 🤦‍♀️

[@JOHN----DOE]

The fun answer is, "That's for me to know and you to find out." Or, "Maybe . . ."

[@margiewinslow872]

They ask, anyway.😢

[@katiehdecker]

teaching kindergarten is domesticating wild animals

[@sonyap8253]

And preschool, don't lick that! Don't touch that! Don't take your shoes off! Don't pee there! ... 😂😂😂

[@lindaleelaw5277]

Sonya P boy glad I missed preschool lol no no no no no what? Are teachers 2? Lol

[@sonyap8253]

@@lindaleelaw5277 lol yourself back up under your bridge, troll 🙄

[@marypatton1122]

And yet here you are today, fully potty trained and domesticated but still people don't believe in evolution...lol.

[@LilyRose013]

That guy was cuuute

[@JustPilgrim]

Been teaching 25 years… ten years in kindergarten. I love it. There is never, ever a dull moment!

[@elaineplum6601]

I love being a teacher! You need to have a strong stomach, endless patience, empathy galore and a wonderful sense of HUMOR!

[@VM-yd6zq]

You are perfect…..ly ridiculous!

[@gonzo3954]

And a standing order from the liquor store...lol!!!

[@sandragruhle6288]

And good classroom management. Getting to know the individual interests of kids works, too. Let them talk or write about them. You will learn much.

[@bealou42]

Elaine forgot you need a strong bladder!

[@ThePrinceOfwealth]

"Your parents apparently made 2 mistakes" lol

[@davidcrimi844]

Literally laughing out loud in my empty classroom after school

[@jacoblinares2403]

What grade?

[@1Nida]

Sadly parents today don’t prepare children for school. Being toilet trained used to be a requirement for kindergarten...

[@cyny6305]

How can a 6 year old not be toilet trained? I was done by the age of 2 because those cloth diapers (and no air conditioning) WAS TORTURE.

[@yessywilliams9610]

this is so sad, and people think it's ok and the teachers job to train them.

[@missg.5940]

And feed them buy their school supplies, provide extra mittens, and l was actually asked if l would mind staying an hour after school because mum had a hair appointment!🤬🤬🤬🤬😷😷😷😷🇨🇦

[@virginiaoflaherty2983]

I think the guy was being a comedian. I taught for many years, children are sent to the school nurse when they need to change their clothes. No 5 year old needs help taking off or putting on clothes, maybe a button or zipper. No decent school would send a man into the bathroom alone to change a child's clothing. I taught in pre-k classrooms there was always a female assistant, a separate toilet room in the classroom, and you would NEVER help a child change clothing if there was not another adult present in the larger classroom. And yes accidents do very occasionally happen, even in middle school.

[@trishcraig723]

It was a requirement for pre school when my kids went

[@42ayla]

My daughter had a grade school teacher that had originally been an engineer and decided that teaching would be easier. He was at the school for one year and I'm surprised he made it that long.

[@Remembery]

16:33 No no no! Subbing is the best! No planning, no grading, no taking work home or working overtime, and best of all, no parents! You do need to perfect that death stare, though! 🤣

[@lisahayes3582]

I've taught classes from 7th grade through College, and the most important grade is Kindergarten. It's not only the hardest to teach, it's the most necessary. Imagine a classroom of college freshmen who don't know when to go to the restroom, how to wait their turn, or how to interact -- Chaos! Elementary and pre-school teachers are saints!!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

[@lilyflower1168]

Every age is terrible, but high school is the WORST

[@genevievewelsh380]

True 🙏

[@AKHWJ3ST]

Thank you! It's so nice to be acknowledged and appreciated! I teach early childhood special education.

[@aracelireyes999]

❤❤😊You're welcome

[@rabidbunny1013]

The last guy's story is TOTALLY REALISTIC 😂👏🏼😂. I teach biology to 9th graders and I do have a kid that makes animal noises.

[@BlueIdiotPie]

oh my god yes! like I was not expecting "I got cat boy while working in school suspension" like that canNOT be it. Animal noises are just a thing

[@slvrangel22]

I teach Middle School! And I cannot understand how they don't realize how making animal noises makes them look weird AF! Like too old for crayons but not old enough to stop making animal noises.

[@zoritsanepenthe638]

Yep! I’ve been hissed at many times by a 12 year old,lol

[@suziep3978]

Oh thank goodness I'm not alone! (Middle school teacher, too. Listening to that part... the way he told it and the audience's reaction made it seem so outrageous. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Here, we just take it all in stride.)

[@maryh4656]

I have kids that just sreech every once in awhile, some that make cat noises, some burst out singing "Paw Patrol," some will raise their hands and when I call on them they say, "Hi." and wave. They just crave attention..... all the time. They also think they are funny. 6th grade is a very immature grade. I have to start whipping them in to shape for the next few years. It definitely isn't for everyone.

[@DJKASUALMADNESS]

I worked with both students on medication, special needs students and specific learning disorder students and most people have no idea how hard that is!

[@JOHN----DOE]

They need one-on-one attention. They're not going to get it. Costs too much. Shouldn't be mainstreamed. Worst idea since deinstitutionalization.

[@angelamaryquitecontrary4609]

My autistic son received a wonderful education here in the UK. Unfortunately, things have changed under this conservative government; they have reduced funding and things have gone downhill rapidly. Such a terrible shame.

[@andrealmoseley6575]

My husband is a SPED JH teacher. I've subbed for him. Got a glimpse.

[@d.leighannbatemon3192]

As someone diagnosed as an adult with ASD level 1 and ADHD, most people have no idea how hard it is to be neurodiverse in this neurotypical world.

[@marcd1981]

You stated "both" but listed three types...

[@lw3269]

"I'm defiantly going to collage". I have seen those students in college. 1.7 GPA

[@DCfreerunner]

The problem is they still get their degree if theiy pay and maintain a D average 😅

[@claudiasmith8913]

You do not need a degree if you're a genius. That half a mil. Paper is expensive.

[@gwenyverreking5565]

My GPA is below a 3.0 because I’m taking Calc 2 and Organic chemistry 😩

[@pamcamcris]

As a crafter who shops at Jo-Ann Fabrics often... 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@cyny6305]

@jenni andais KIds (and adults) have not had to figure out problems for several generations now.

[@marystone101010]

These are just a few of the hilarious and unnerving experiences out there. There is always that one kid per class to throw you off. This is why the burnout rate for teachers is 5 years. Respect to these guys for sharing their funny stories.

[@spekkadujst3423]

Apparently life expectancy for teachers is only 5 years after retirement. Not kidding. I read that! Yikes

[@peytonr2723]

I 'retired' at 4 years. That was enough.

[@gracehaven5459]

@@spekkadujst3423 well my grandma is a special ed teacher that's been retired since the 80s, and the majority of my family members work in education and many of them are retired several years over so don't believe all you read about online.

[@Augfordpdoggie]

this is my 25th year. thankfully, i made it out of America, where I was burned out. I now teach in Africa and the kids are so lovely.

[@VM-yd6zq]

The burnout rate for teachers is also due to other 👩‍🏫 teachers

[@anthonywhelan4660]

I'm a teacher. The hardest name I found to say was 'Phuc'. When I kept saying, Fook, he finally corrected me and said, "It's Phuc!" (Rhymes with duck).

[@judynguyen1579]

No you're right...he's messing with you.

[@janesejohnsen6750]

King just lived me...right...

[@lemonflavoreds4312]

🤣

[@prmm218]

Omg 😳

[@johnkodhek1]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😭😭

[@kevinhurley6919]

Orlando baxter is too good to not be a household name! 100% the jokes and flow are brilliant!

[@SonicX6400]

So funny. These are the types of things you laugh about when you get around other teachers, not the new ones who still have stars in their eyes, but with those of us that have been on the front lines for a while. You love your kids, you want the best for them, but there are days when you could write a whole comedy sketch about the things they and their parents do and say. Of course it's comedy, but their are so many truths to this bits.

[@thunderousapplause]

teacher humor goes mainstream, yesss! bc honey, we have hi-larious stor-iessss. especially about some parents, omg. ps we also have beautiful, moving, epic stories.

[@stephj9378]

Like the day a mother, grandmother and midget auint showed up at my door loaded for bear!

[@teohproject]

The last guy had me rolling! I’m an art teacher and this is hilarious

[@deeb6270]

“I’ll put it in the desk with the other pencils I collect...”. 😂

[@nancynba4073]

"What if Halloween and Friday the 13th would happen on the same day" I- 💀💀💀

[@KatieMomof6]

“Can’t wear pajamas to school cuz they scared your pencil will pop out!”

[@michaelbullington3182]

I sent 9th grader home when his thug a$$ showed up just after lunch in a onesie. So many students showing up in what they slept in, slippers and everything. Yeah, it's real; they had to make a school readiness policy about it eventually.

[@rachfitz5767]

Cat boy!!!

[@kionnakelly2918]

@@michaelbullington3182 probably not a "thug" if he's wearing a onesie....

[@hmms5256]

My sister was attacked by a student with 'behaviour issues' that required meds & was almost suspended for defending herself. Principal tried to use the meds as an excuse.

[@NoliMeTangere1163]

Sadly that isn't unusual. As a teacher, I left my last district because situations like that were daily occurrences.

[@virginiaoflaherty2983]

@@NoliMeTangere1163 That kind of behavior starts at the TOP. The Principle who wants to dodge her/his responsibility and play the good guy with the kids. Kids are not stupid and they do what they know they can get away with.

[@marypatton1122]

Administrators have issues.

[@BBMc107]

My mother was beaten by a BD student in high school while security waited outside for him to calm down. She should have sued. I begged her.

[@meriadocbrandybuck9833]

I just got hired to teach science, junior high. They asked me my qualifications so I talked about my jobs & college. “How would you handle a class in crisis or a furious student? If a student tried to attack you how would you handle it?” I responded with “Well, sounds like a normal day.” My last job was working psych floor in a hospital. Srsly tho, if your first job is not like me, working psych & suicide watch, you aren’t prepared for these situations. Local school had 19 suicides, 3 in buildings. They should make 2 wks of working suicide watch part of student teaching for most teachers now. At least then you know enough not to panic when it happens.

[@bonitawauls6274]

Love the soft deep voice of the High school History teacher. He describes it SO well!!

[@dez7102]

First teacher is Mr. Michaelis, he was my world history teacher in 2012. I really hated anything history till he sat me down and helped me understand. Love watching his shows when he comes to town. I always try to buy at least one ticket when he is here.

[@lottielupin7725]

So true, relatable and hilarious. There was many a day, driving to work [High School Teacher] I too hoped the building was on fire. These comedians are awesome

[@slvrangel22]

I teach Middle School!. And it doesn't need to be on fire when I pull up... maybe just a gas leak!!

[@Mish4Mello]

As a teacher, I appreciate these jokes. 😂 Kids are the funniest! Teachers have a ton of material from real life experience.

[@Rachidasister]

So true! What should we do with that material?

[@jean6061]

They saved the best for the last - great!

[@goingbonkerswithmyhonkers9374]

Subjective

[@jamesmcinnis208]

Nah.

[@bestofmylovewhoahwhoah3239]

Agree! I like the second guy a lot too!

[@joymarie715]

That last guy was the best ........I didn’t want it to end!!!!!!

[@raybin6873]

He threw me on the floor! Had me thinking of Bill Cosby's "..smartest kid in shop class...if you throw a bullet in the furnace it'll explode!" Bill Cosby has some outstanding comedy records....

[@halimaakaduchieme]

I bet in this quarantine/lockdown period, all parents are loving and missing their kids' teachers.

[@brennalill9093]

You would think but... not always the case :( How quickly parents forget what we do for their kids..

[@missg.5940]

Funny how suddenly everyone finally agrees teachers need a %500 raise after one day of home schooling!😁😁😁😷😷😷😷🇨🇦

[@garfreeek]

And how soon they forget especially xD

[@theresapinilla4913]

Yeah, that lasted about 3 months. By midsummer, we were demon spawn for questioning safety in an uncontrolled crisis.

[@karenk2409]

I taught history at community college, loved most of my students, and encouraged questions. Every once in a while, one of them would ask me a truly stupid question. My response, "please google that, and let us all know." Of course they never did. It was always a student who rarely attended class, never did the readings, etc.

[@marypatton1122]

I quit teaching to be a city bus driver. People ask if driving bus is scary due to all the weird people who ride the bus. I say, "No one can ever scare me again because I taught Junior High." I used that line in the job interview and got the job. Junior high teachers don't scare easy. We're super human at dealing with stress too.

[@meriadocbrandybuck9833]

I was just hired to teach junior high science. Was asked “how would you handle a classroom of furious or upset 7th graders?” in my interview. My last job was on the psych floor of a hospital.

[@marypatton1122]

@@meriadocbrandybuck9833 Even prison guards at State Penitentiaries don't deal with as many crises as a teacher does every day.

[@mariandaily9406]

Three years in junior high retired me after a thirty-six year teaching career , mostly grades pre k through third and a few years as reading recovery!

[@michaelmitchell5380]

Every parent should hear these guys. "Domesticating wild animals" OMG, it doesn't change, even in college. There should be a Congressional Metal of Honor for teachers, and battle pay! LMAO! Sooo funny! Yes, not on your meds, get back on the freekin' bus!! Luckily, I taught outside public school for 20 years...and survived! I think it changed us all for the better.

[@missg.5940]

Most would just like enough supplies and a decent wage!😷🇨🇦

[@brandonboatner9952]

Medal*

[@debbylou5729]

@@missg.5940 I have family who are teachers. All of them are honest and admit they chose the job because of 2 solid months off. No BS, they make more than firemen and policemen as well as some nurses. Where else can you become ‘tenured’ and CANT be fired. Unbelievable benefits, government pensions and benefits. Save me from the rhetoric of their ‘continuing education’. My friends got a grant to ‘continue their education’ by going to Greece. Every real professional has to do this and mostly on their off time

[@Rachidasister]

I have been a teacher almost as long but trying to get out of the profession but I will never regret my experiences with the children. They are amazing memories. Everyone should be a teacher for some time to see how it is like to "domesticate wild animals"...I taught my own cat noise kid 10 years ago...annoying but funny.

[@christineheminger7762]

@@brandonboatner9952I was going to type the same thing but you did it for me and sometimes the dictated texting picks the wrong words; sometimes you even have to say the weird texts kind of fast to hear what was meant

[@ennamorgan9673]

I taught for 5 years in China. The students would come up with all sorts of creative names, some of which made absolutely no sense, but I respected their choice and tried not to bring too much attention to the strange selections. But I was still stunned when during the introductions, first day of the semester, one student told me his name was "Semen." I had him repeat it, just to be sure I was hearing correctly, and he did without hesitation. No one in the class seemed to have a problem with it. Then I asked him to spell it as I write it on the board, so as to ensure I was getting it correctly. He spelt, "S-I-M-O-N." I corrected his pronunciation, but he decided that he wanted to keep his pronunciation anyway. I asked him if he was sure he wanted to keep that name. He was positive. I asked if he knew what the word meant, he didn't. So I explained. Amongst riotous response from his classmates, he instantly accepted the correct pronunciation.

[@necoragha65]

So a native English speaker didn't know the meaning of "semen"?

[@weishanchen2009]

In Chinese, Simon can rationally be pronounced as Xi Men, which sounds like West Gate. What sounds odd in one language sounds fine in another, it is what it is. Just extra info :)

[@bookdear]

"Defiantly" instead of a "definitely" is A THING. I wish I had a dollar for every essay where kids "defiantly" wanted something.

[@allthingswavy6420]

Same! I'd be a wealthy woman for sure 😜

[@tailonitenisi2306]

“That’d be spooky” 😂😂😂

[@missg.5940]

I am so happy to be a retired teacher!😷😷😷😷🇨🇦

[@meggrotte4760]

Absolutely kids that don't take their medicine should be sent back home

[@JOHN----DOE]

"I'm defiantly going to collage" because I always done good in English in school. And if you think this stuff isn't real . . . it's much, much weirder.

[@livingpicture]

For the second guy, there's this one lady whose laugh is louder than everyone else's, and it's really contagious!

[@taradreams3]

My first year I taught kindergarten. One day I took the class to the restroom and a few minutes later one little boy comes waddling out of the boys' restroom, crying, with his pants down around his ankles because he couldn't get them down in time and peed his pants. I was like...how is this my life. Next year I switched to 5th grade and never looked back

[@chreudinegueur6367]

I hope that didn't show on your face... For his sake. Good for you for the change

[@doll2607]

I WISH chad Thornsberry had more videos of his comedy! He is so great!

[@lynn6221]

I ❤️ him. He reminds me of my son, who is a teacher. 😆

[@M-hc9xm]

That cat boy story can make me laugh on the worst days

[@joanhagemier784]

Love DBC! Nice to hear good comedy without obscene/vulgar language. 👏👏👏

[@terri348]

I'm not a teacher but I'm an aide. I can't tell you how many times I had to look away and bite my tongue before I said something!

[@sislau]

Saved the best for last in this compilation. That cat boy-'pencil' bit was hilarious! :D

[@Linusrox123]

Watching Orlando Baxter's delivery reminds me that there is a certain point when a comedian succeeds because they stop fearing the audience - there are fast talking comics who are fantastic, because that's natural for them. But many seem to be rushing through to get it over with. Or you can tell they have timed their act and would rather fit all the jokes in that just give the audience that give and take experience. Relaxing is key, and takes years. I want to say that's "something you can't teach" - but actually you can.

[@terri348]

Totally agree with the story of the kids on medication! When they forget to take it before school they can get scary!!!

[@heathermiller6046]

“They’re afraid your pencil might pop out. MEEOWW!” lmao 😸

[@that_zulu_girl1908]

I would never call your daughter stupid, I asked her if she was stupid. 😂😂

[@yasminsharif2847]

😂🤣

[@melrobertson2743]

Unfortunately had teacher who kept calling us stupid

[@alexa548]

The cat kid tho 🤣🤣🤣 MEOW!

[@robynhayward]

I once met an Emily who spelled her name Emi-leigh... She had a couple siblings with the same kind of unnecessary spellings

[@R.J.MacReady1982]

Emilay

[@MisterLobb]

FIDIRONU actually that’s socialist.

[@lemmy9682]

seriousleigh?

[@bradhaines3142]

@FIDIRONU no it shouldn't. you're right, clearly fascist, which makes it instantly a bad idea.

[@hazelchief-rabbit5903]

@@MisterLobb correct me if I'm wrong but isn't fascism a form of socialism?

[@lisadoxey7563]

Oh my gosh!! I'm a retired teacher. This is the TRUTH. Yea. His pencil might pop out!🤣🤣🤣. I taught middle school art. They made that pencil in paint, clay, ink, printmaking. They were proud of that pencil! This was great!

[@StormySensei]

Please do more compilations like this. I love the full specials, but vids like this are even better!

[@sheilameyers152]

So hilarious……teacher situations can be so funny!

[@andrealmoseley6575]

Just watched the Texas one and loved it

[@bobthompson4319]

I so bad for the music teacher we had. my whole school was so so so mean to her she went home crying probably everyday. and we would just laugh about it. now it makes me want to cry over it and for her. I really hope she's doing well she never did a single thing to deserve to be treated so badly. I remember seeing her smiling when she came her first day. I wish her the best I wish her well and I wish I could take it back what everyone did.

[@racheljensen1823]

My high school second year German class did the same. After one year, she quit to be a librarian.

[@stephj9378]

That reminds me of my 5th grade Catholic school teacher, Sister Rose. I now realize how young she was. My classmates were brutal.

[@andrealmoseley6575]

Please find your teachers if possible and apologize or at least tell them you turned out ok. I am almost crying. My husband is a teacher and I substitute teach. Many friends are teachers. We cry a lot. But it's often about the kids and that they might not make it far in life.

[@leilaabouzeenni3580]

In May after 9 months of horrific student behaviour, and admin telling me that I can't discipline any students, they threw school computers out the windows, danced on desktops and one actually ate a pen then threw it up on the curtains in the class. But that day in May, it took the usually 10 minutes to collect the students from the hallway, and 10 minutes to get them in their seats and they were finally quiet enough to teach when a group at the back started talking again. I asked them to be quiet and 1 girl said just wait a minute I'm not finished telling her my story. So I said fine. Take the whole day. I walked down to the principals office and told her I'm going home. I can't take it anymore. I still am a teacher, 17 years now, but that group was the craziest I ever had.

[@d.leighannbatemon3192]

@@andrealmoseley6575 Whenever I get down, wondering how the future generations will survive the nihilism of this world, I think of the movie Idiocracy. It's becoming more prophetic every generation, but even the people portrayed there were happy. Life finds a way.

[@JessicaSmith-vk5zz]

"When they had you, they made two mistakes."....Done🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@almamataboy4567]

The last one was the best lol

[@rebeccamiller475]

I totally agree! 😂

[@jamesmcinnis208]

I liked the first one the best.

[@sonyap8253]

I been hissed at by a 14 year old 😂

[@scottlang7271]

"He's purring now, can he go back to class?" Hilarious :)

[@maryanne9927]

Was trying to hold myself together, then i heard: Cornrows, tupac shirt n spongebob pyjamas😂😂😂

[@peggyrider2364]

I'm not even halfway through and this is freaking amazing 😂

[@Neonnia9]

I had an Aliah, Aliyah, and Alia each in separate classes. I spelled one of their names wrong ONCE and she gave me attitude. 🙄

[@hbk6042]

So true, I teach high school boys and they are weird and wonderful 😂

[@erinclarocca]

The guy about name spelling - sooo true! I work w/ juveniles & I have to ask legal spelling of name. Parents get so pissy when I ask for spelling of common name but I get unorthodox spelling all the time. E.G. Klib = Caleb, Maliki = Malachi, Mosses = Moses… lol

[@joebrinson5040]

Not to even mention the names with apostrophes.

[@paulinelarson465]

My favorite was twins named La'Monjello and Or'Angejello ! ! Pre-school teacher, acquaintance, didn't realize it until she looked up their records to contact a parent about a playground injury. In fairness, classes were large and boys were in separate classes. Still ! !

[@paulinelarson465]

I have a granddaughter, Caitlyn. Must be 2 dozen ways to "normally" spell that ! Then my grandson, Soren, started school and no one had even heard of that name. It also has a couple "normal" spellings.

[@Flemingsofcolorado]

I nearly died when he said “he ended his career in teaching because of the word unnecessary”

[@jenns6361]

OMG!! 6:55- 9:14-16:55 He sooooo nailed it..."Go lay on the bean bag!!" So real and true as I can relate way too much. Awesome!

[@slc1161]

My first semester teaching community college was an eye-opener for me. I had an adult policy for my curriculum. I do not take attendance. I trusted them to show up for class and be adult learners, as they should be in college. I had two girls in my course who seem to think they were still in high school. They believed that if they showed up for half the class half the time and flunked all the tests that they would still pass the course. When that did that happen they began a program of harassment and filed a grievance. From that time going forward, I ad to explain to each class why attendance was taken, and taken twice. Once at the start and after the break. I also instituted a mandatory drop if they missed 2 portions of class unless they could show mastery of the material. I didn’t want their gpa to be destroyed. Too many students not ready for collage or college.

[@silverfirefly8168]

I had to pause the video twice so I could drink my soda without choking from so much laughter. Also… “These monsters feed on weakness.” As someone who is under the age of 18… Yes. Yes, we do.

[@Gpacharlie]

“I used to believe that there was no such thing as a stupid question, but you are helping me broaden my thinking.”

[@sandragruhle6288]

Yet, I have been so very pleased at the accomplishments of my high school students. To put it mildly, they have soared! I taught in a small rural high school with an agricultural base. Nevertheless, the graduates have done extremely well in college, business, and the trades. Their educational and business achievements have been amazing, and I attribute it to the local work ethic. We let them know from the start that high school graduation was the minimum expectation, and exposed them to the options available beyond that. They never fail to impress, and I never fail to tell them that. The kids we worked with were super. Many are in contact, and it is gratifying to see how they are doing.

[@sharonlaw5538]

Thanks......with everything I have due online (Lord help me) as a teacher I needed this!

[@shawnasatchell8897]

Omggggg😂😂😂😂 " What are you doing Magic Mike?" Buttnugget....o Lort....😂😂😂 This guys hilarious 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@crystalwalker4403]

I’m so thankful that my kids are so well behaved at school. They are so anxious anytime they think they did something wrong that they would probably burst into tears if they got reprimanded by the teacher. My toddler might be a different story when she is old enough to go to school. She is a bit of a bossy little tyrant, with and 8 and 11 year age difference from her siblings.

[@TeezyK]

Kids even finish your sentences for you mid lecture 🤣 🤣🤣

[@beverlyhayshouston2770]

That one lady laughing with the second comedian is hilarious! He is great!

[@colombia879]

The most unbelievable question a student has asked me is if she could draw a picture in English or Spanish😂🤔it still keeps me wondering 😅

[@Aklifedesign]

I have been teaching for 20 years...so much of this resonates. I have a secret dream to do stand up in the summers. Mr. Buttnugget. Had me bent. 😆😆😆😆got even better at the end. saved the best for last in this video.

[@cindyhoomalu1566]

…. but I was a young Timberlake once. My mom was a teacher and she is mentally scarred from too many years of it. My sister and I never got away with anything, though! Teachers definitely need more support from parents!!!

[@angelrose8464]

I’m currently learning French and I work in a hospital that has a Gagnon Institute. When I learned the correct pronunciation, I thought it was hilarious that people called it “Gag-non” when I’d been doing that for like five years 😂 it’s amazing what you learn when learning a new language!

[@CaneGrad96]

I teach middle school but have also taught elementary. Love this video!

[@KRYME9]

Roze 😂😂😂

[@racheljensen1823]

I've been a teacher in two countries, taught ages 6 months to 80+ years, 30 subjects, and several types if schools. One day I asked a Kindergartener what her mommy did. Bad mistake. She answered with, "she's a dancer". Silly me replied, "oh, ballet?" To which the girl said "no", and then started to pretend she was strip-teasing on a pole... Sime things they don't prepare you for in school...

[@elsajones6325]

Imagine my horror when playtime came for 1st graders and a couple of them were playing "childbirth' ..... one was on her back, splayed legs while the other was holding her hands together waiting to pull the baby out......I was stunned!

[@aliseegenuine6414]

@@elsajones6325OMG!!! 😮

[@texas4197]

I haven't taught in 40 years, but one memory stays with me about how kids show you real life without meaning to. When I taught, if I was explaining something and not getting my point across to the students and they had questions, one of my frustrated tics was to raise my hand up near my head to try and think of another way to explain myself. One day I was explaining some math concept and one of my students asked me a question from all the way across the room. I started to walk toward her and raised my hand to my ear to think and she literally recoiled into her seat. I was not within 10 feet of her. I realized then that what she was facing at home was much more than I could even imagine.

[@sheranlanger247]

No wonder people these days don't seem to know the difference between "then" and "than", all the teachers keep leaving to become comedians.

[@anbonner17]

🤣🤣

[@spekkadujst3423]

YOu can combine careers as i did for uhhh for a few decades. I was pretty sure that they'd just bury me in the football field. Great career and loved kids esp the wraskilly wabbit types. ;)

[@sheilawallerseibert461]

They certainly have enough material for several years' comedy sketches!

[@cyny6305]

Wish I had done it!

[@sherntell]

Oh my goodness! My name is Sheran, too!

[@fairday2]

I am a retired teacher, K-8 library and music. Too many mind games.

[@76golong73]

All props to you for making it to retirement! I'm in my 21st year as an elementary music teacher...not sure if I'll survive to retirement!

[@KailaniASMR]

76GoLong 😂😂😂 bless you✨ I left in the middle of my 16th year👑 Im broke but happy🥴

[@marypatton1122]

All the mind games come from administrators.

[@marypatton1122]

@@KailaniASMR I quit teaching after 17. I don't know how anyone can be a 35 year teacher. I would be insane. Half crazy as it is...lol.

[@KailaniASMR]

Mary Patton 😂😂😂😂 right

[@lizdestefano4905]

I'm laughing so hard 🤣 because of Cat boy! I love Cat Boy! My mom was a teacher and I have the up most respected for them! But some of the stories she's told was straight up Hilarious 😂

[@lindadehart6732]

I teach kindergarten...you nailed it!