Family (The Truth About Family)

[@ekkamailax]

When all you’ve known is emotional and physical abuse, the idea of “family” sends chills down your spine

[@mimachka]

Yep…that’s why I’ve always disliked the idea of starting my own family

[@winxclubstellamusa]

My thoughts exactly. Family is war and hierarchy. I don’t want to endure anything like that ever again.

[@ari3lz3pp]

I think that's the problem after many generations of these issues growing widely. Now many people fear commitment to a group of people let alone to one other person on that level.

[@adventurer1913]

🫂🖤

[@roses6564]

@@ari3lz3pp Or the truth is coming out.

[@suncluster]

Thank you for this. -The black sheep of my family

[@mod3704]

Let's say you're not the black sheep how about you are the giraffe who is able to see things sheep cannot and connect to Spirit on a more higher level

[@akiinefaexperiencinglife]

@@mod3704 oh wow

[@Banzii_Mavuso]

@@mod3704 So cool :)

[@mod3704]

@@Banzii_Mavuso thank you

[@lyrastrseed3343]

@@mod3704 this gave me goosebumps and brought tears to my eyes. smart girl

[@TIOLIOfficial]

16:34 - "Never underestimate the power of family dynamics to prevent the empowerment, the progression and the wellbeing of one of its members."

[@Nono444life]

It has been 4 years, I cut off all my family members. The last month my mother called me for the first time in 7 years, bc she never calls me but I should. I didn't answer her call, when I listened to the voice mail, she said that people noticed my absence & i'm ruining the family reputation by doing this. I blocked her immediately bc i know my family will never change, experts in guilt triping. Thank you Teal for this reassuring words. I'm on the right path 🙏

[@arevolutionoflove]

I love you and I feel this so deeply. I’ve only been split from my family (parents and sister) since June 1 but I feel like I’m finally able to be ME, at 42. What a relief. 💞

[@lukasking7172]

i understand you

[@yvonneshanson1525]

Dose of Laughter 💖💓😘

[@Ry-lx2kl]

Telling her concern is ruining the family reputation rather than missing you, accepting her role in problems, and wanting to make amends. You did the right thing by blocking her.

[@swavnasahoo711]

so typical. they don't get an ish about connection, just how they look in the eyes of the others and reputation. I'm yet to watch the video, but I want it to be somewhat healing. Thank u for writing ur experience. You're so strong.

[@danielolea3406]

When I've been driven to homelessness, psychosis, and suicidal ideation, I cant give them anymore chances. Thank you for not making me feel alone💓

[@sareablihoghe2395]

Oh, hope you find yourself again ❤

[@shawnorth]

Here with you on that one. Good job maintaining your mind

[@TaylorSwiftGleek]

Sending you love x

[@DebraWilderMeditation]

Families do not change. We are far better without toxic families. 🙏

[@chrismuratore4451]

Its frustrating to know that others have gone through experiences similar to and felt/feel like this. Frustrating, yet in a way, comforting. Know that you are not alone in the world, its just hard to say it aloud.

[@LisaFrancesJudd]

I was born into a severely dysfunctional family on so many levels. Made to be the scapegoat. Many many years of therapy later I am accepting and loving of myself and living how I want to. I have no contact with either of my parents and limited contact with my siblings. Best decision I ever made.

[@月亮-g5f]

I want to be like you! But I constantly guilt trip myself for leaving

[@TinyBudha]

@@月亮-g5fthe guilt will fool you for a long time. Except you go back and nothing ever changes, this was my experience anyways

[@pamchesler242]

Your story is my story and I did the same thing. I broke Contact a couple years ago, but of course I’ve been feeling very uncomfortable and feeling the dysfunction all along and I feel the same way you do and I still love some of my family members but not more than I love myself, so I echo your statement when you say it was the best decision you ever made because I consider that decision to be an actself-love and just frees you up to heal… I have absolutely no guilt about it. If anything I feel empowered. I feel free and I feel like I can breathe and be my genuine self.

[@LisaFrancesJudd]

@@pamchesler242 keep loving yourself ❤️

[@pamchesler242]

@@LisaFrancesJudd that is very sweet. It took me quite a long time and a lot of healing and I would say that anybody who makes the effort to heal is actually loving themselves, so I send the same sentiments back to you! ❤️❤️❤️

[@Jay-Jones]

I've been estranged from my family since 2014. Thet have gave me spiritual, physical, mental scars that cannot be healed by them because they arent the type of people who can admit what they have done. They don't know how to heal. I tried for years...if I continued...I would not be here right now. I'd either be dead or in prison. Sometimes you just have to let them go because too much damage has been done. Sometimes the worst advice you can give a person is to reconnect their family.

[@justanillusion20]

same 🙏

[@Jay-Jones]

@@justanillusion20 you're gonna be ok. Because you're strong

[@noreenjenny7039]

I feel the same🙏amen ❤ i am working on it to let go! Blessings ❤🥰

[@drdemi]

agree. it would've been unproductive for me to watch that video 5 years ago. now after a few years of distance, i have to admin that distance alone doesn't solve the root of family-disconnection.

[@janbalaban5268]

Exactly. I saved my life when i left them. But it took me 20 years to realize that THEY are my worst enemies. It was much safer to trust to unknown people i accidentaly met, than trust to them.

[@StannYo]

Every time I went to visit my parents I had runny nose, now I am pretty sure it was my body expressing sadness. Being in my parents home made my brother very depressed. Now we are both living abroad, we have made the choice of life over death.

[@tiaanvandyk7804]

Families is the building block of successful societies. You want to heal society, heal the family!

[@andreperry3301]

I separated from my family and I've never been happier.

[@hobbytreyi]

Oh I am so happy for you!!

[@peachiepie1148]

Same

[@creativereinvestor]

How can you be happy without your kids and the woman you love( aka wife), or you talking about your parents?

[@jodydavis6238]

Me too! I have a half brother that I Am Connected with. I left my abusive parents at the age of 17.

[@loveinfinity8884]

@@creativereinvestor what if hes asexual or gay ?

[@north_star_yt]

I actually think creating and building our own families despite not being blood is actually going to be more and more of the future. "Soul tribes" are going to create so much more awareness, respect & compassion towards diversity. I love my family members but I do not identify with them. They have very little tolerance for people who are different from them. I have actually been the change agent in the family but no one wants to acknowledge my open-mindedness. I actually yearn to leave my family, at least for a while.

[@queengoblin]

Do it, it's deeply liberating. I left my family for 2 years after they made me homeless. That was an incredibly hard 2 years but I woke up and healed a lot of stuff, and they have healed to a manageable level as well. We will probably never fully get along because they are so close minded and incompatible at this time, but that 2 year period was deeply necessary for my healing.

[@honorarydarkness1300]

If something doesn't serve your purpose or survival, toss it in the garbage.

[@wakeup_withAshley]

Nothing like coffee and disillusionment in the morning 🤣 I love you Teal. Thank you for your dedication to truth always 🙏❤️

[@clairbearonabroom]

coffee and disillusionment , my favourite .!! blessings to you beautiful soul.

[@maresmagic1111]

I have been reflecting on the decision I made a decade ago 2 separate from my birth tribe. Extreamly painful decision" A lot more painful A lot more painful for me than them" And I wonder how I did it. Self preservation. Still love them with all my heart and soul and wish them the best. Evolving was much more important to me. Tank you for allowing the greatness of the universe to work through you To answer my question.. Many blessings to you!!

[@BC-fx6ud]

This is so reassuring because I have no desire to visit my dad or brother since my mom passed over 2 years ago. I have learned to love life and spirituality, but trying to talk to them is like talking to a wall! One of my childhood roles was the poor sickly boy that rarely went outside and “got dirty”. Now i work outdoors and have a farm working real dirty work. Also I have only called in sick 5 times in 30 years!! Any time I am around them I feel the old fears and doom creeping in on me. Feels good to vent that

[@christinamckinney2370]

Beautiful story of healing...❤️

[@rodellsiago9796]

You do you boo

[@freelife1121]

I feel you 😘

[@maggiesmith6013]

You have a wonderful relationship with Mother Earth and that is one that is always with us no matter what.

[@noreenjenny7039]

Lots of love and healing to you ❤🙏

[@UltravioletHeather]

When I experienced a total shift in my world view because of information that I found very disturbing I went into a space of being terrified of what the future would hold for humanity and spent far too much time focusing on all the horrors that were being exposed. My youngest daughter had the strength and intelligence to shut me out of her life for 5 years. It spurred me into deep introspection and spiritual awakening that I bless her for being the catalyst of. When she let me back into her life I realized how absolutely brilliant she is. I am very grateful for the experience.

[@ll-SNARL-ll]

Babygirls will do that 🤗

[@vchambliss3797]

Wow, that’s amazing that you were able to shift your perspective, grow, and reconnect with your daughter. It gives me hope! Bless you for sharing your story 💖🙏🏾

[@tishkerrville8942]

wow - a brave comment. Thank you.

[@swavnasahoo711]

It's amazing you looked into you, very few will ever do that. Grace.

[@tabithajax]

You are a very wise and kind mother. Thank you for sharing this with us.

[@emilymontag8931]

I feel all awakened people go through a period with the family that they feel a need for separation at some point. This may be for the best and they may come back a different individual able to help the family overcome these limiting patterns, an ultimate act of love.

[@indigolynn4192]

I agree with this Emily. And the way we help them heal is by simply remaining in our authenticity while around them. Not by fighting with their shadows or trying to force them (with words and actions) to evolve or to validate us. I think so atleast. I certainly went through a phase of feeling trapped and limited by my families toxic behavior. Deeply, subconsciously, I was afraid to assume responsibility for loving and balancing my own inner world, I was using their toxicity as a mirror to further victimize and reject my inner shadows , basically playing out my fears of creating sovereignty within. Doesn’t make them any less toxic lol but now I know the real work is within This is my experience atleast ❤️✨

[@theascension1557]

Right

[@raevinmanning641]

Adopted. Done being the family scapegoat and spiritually bypassed by every single member of THAT family. I now tell people I was an orphan. That is what is BEST FOR ME.

[@Jay-Jones]

Dont ever let anyone shame you into believing otherwise. Not every had a family worth respect.

[@carrieangel275]

I was the family scapegoat! It turned out my mum lied to me for 20 years and the father I had was not my biological one, I always felt different from my siblings, I developed an identity disorder looking back, I hated my mother and could never put my finger on it then I found out the truth, I wasn't crazy afterall and am empowered cuz my instincts and feelings were VALID all that time. I found out through an ancestral kit I bought for my daughter and I, my mother would never have told me the truth, I don't hate her anymore and I treat everyone equal, having no resentments has changed my life for the better cuz I've accepted it.

[@hippie-io7225]

Narcissists were the main CEO's of my family. Striving for the goal of family repair cost me 20 years of my adult life. Progress and happiness began when I separated myself so that I could heal. My family currently is the one I consciously created with people from all walks of life, with whom we can enjoy our uniqueness and have each other's back.

[@amandakimbrough2862]

Amen

[@sirensheartsong4079]

My conclusion to adoptions, we came to break the generational curses for our own blood and the family we adopted into. It's a heavy job, as the scapegoat and the only one doing the work... That's why we are here this time, imo. That's service to others by healing self. And is best done away from your situation for perspective.

[@amandaheintzelman586]

I have been estranged from my family if birth since 2013. No one except my mom has even called me once. There's always a part of me that wonders why they hate me so much when my greatest sin in childhood was really just being "too sensitive" and when I was older I couldn't be in their presence soberly, which only brough more scorn. They've never included or accepted me. I don't know why and I can't afford to care why any more because I made my own family to care about now. I don't miss the one I was born into.

[@lewisjacobs1694]

When people learn that I dont speak to my parents they react with "oh thats a shame", " maybe you will make it up some day", " family is important you must make an effort". Even though Im healed I still have scars because of the effort I made. I have scars because my father physically and mentally abused us all. I have scars because my mother chose to allow this and not protect us

[@trixiec3951]

If you're family have hurt you as badly as this them you have to look after yourself. I suffered emotional and physical abuse all through my childhood. I believed the lies my mother told me because I was only a child and naturally didn't think that she was doing anything wrong - I always believed everything that happened to me at the hands of my family was my fault. I have been no contact for 23 years now. My life is my own, and I've never been happier. People who say "that's a shame" don't understand what you have been through. I would say actually that's great. You've escaped the toxicity. Heal yourself and live your own life.

[@TheVioletMagic29]

I'm very grateful that my family was in the rare category that decided to change together to stay together years ago. We are much closer as a result.

[@ari3lz3pp]

That seems so very unique now for certain. ☮️ Thats wonderful.

[@melissavalentine9771]

You are very rare and fortunate

[@rae7701]

It’s been almost 17 years of no family contact for me. Thank you teal this has been powerful 🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@JonasAnandaKristiansson]

[@rae7701]

@@JonasAnandaKristiansson from one INFJ to another

[@kkbabybratz3874]

How long ago had it been, 21 with no money but I’m. It sure being around them is doing me good

[@sirguntas]

THIS. IS. BEAUTIFUL. That ENDING? That ENDING? How she closed the episode is even MORE BEAUTIFUL.

[@transformartexhibit3710]

AGREED. So so important to recognize that!

[@nicoleavery7238]

Blood family isn’t always meant to be in your life just because they’re blood. That’s that.

[@Sixsoul]

Blood is grosser than water

[@Hamta..]

agree!sometimes They can't be in a healthy relationship, so it's okey to be away from them.

[@lisabeasley9438]

amen to that,my mom side family covers up wrong and trys make others look bad,

[@noreenjenny7039]

Thank you Nicole for saying it! It's good to know. Waking up to this understanding is freeing! ❤🌹

[@bradleyfrank7933]

Blood isn't an excuse to abuse (verbally, physically, emotionally) the rest of the family.

[@deerinheadlights9784]

Why can’t I like this more than once

[@RoseMarieJamesJr]

Exactly!

[@405OKCShiningOn]

Thank you Teal. We love you. 🌺👍💝 The message is so healing and applicable.

[@thetemplelaboratory]

You have, Om Namah Shivaya. Universal Consciousness is one. You also disliked it more than once and never saw this video at all.

[@sirguntas]

😂😂😂 Right!?😄😄😄😄

[@jimilormand9242]

vote once, commit once, believe once, once upon a time people were true to themselves and others, Be True and Like Once,

[@maggiesmith6013]

I separated from my daughter's father when she was 3. He did everything he could to make me the bad guy. I always told her I am your mom no mater what. When she was15 she thanked me for not talking trash about her Dad. It was worth it. I always told her I might not always like what you do but I will always love you. Sometimes other family needs to know this too.

[@TheDreamDetective888]

Sweet 👍

[@narcabusevictimgermany9687]

Good!!

[@MrBooYa-yd5er]

You were the bad guy.

[@narcabusevictimgermany9687]

@@MrBooYa-yd5er sounds like it, but we don’t know. If he beat her up, it was better that she left. If he didn’t, she was the bad guy indeed.

[@brockminvielle1891]

This was a powerful video. I've had to separate from my family entirely for the sake of my well-being. However, there is still so much for me to do identifying those old patterns. My memory of childhood is very fuzzy. I've tried to do the self-authoring and review my memories from childhood, but I can barely access them. They seem to pop up spontaneously at times, at which point I can actually integrate

[@drdemi]

i can very much relate to that!

[@narcabusevictimgermany9687]

It’s because you still live nearby your parents. Move away, then you will heal.

[@icyivy2424]

3:58 once you experience this, tried million times to fix, go alone in life... a way better on your own! So glad I've made that decision.

[@Gloroxsocks]

Going against family being unnatural makes sense as to why I have spent my whole life in denial about being emotionally neglected by them

[@gamezswinger]

It's unnatural to go against family in a world where you're expected to join the family's "shared fantasy." LOL. F*ck that!

[@elisabethsteel3382]

I don’t hate my family, I wish them the best, but I don’t really want to have anything to do with them anymore! After almost 70 years of abuse, and somehow finally making the decision to end the verbal abuse, bullying and gaslighting, I’m surprised with myself for finally making the decision to cut them off from my life! It took me this long to have the guts to do it! But realize that it was for my own sanity to make the choice! Personally I would have wished to be able to work things out, but realize after all these years that things were not going to change! Thank you for sharing guys!

[@1a2b3c4d5e886hfd]

I feel like I’m odd in that I refuse to defend and justify what my family is/did/does. I just see it for what it is and point it out, but I find people don’t want to see things and just pretend everything is fine. Uh it’s so annoying , you can’t solve a problem if you won’t acknowledge it’s there...

[@puppiestgirl]

period..

[@marinikaP]

"In fact, when each new member, a new generation, within a family is born, the consciousness of that family line progresses and the child is in fact the one that represents that next step forward. Which is why so often, what they're needing and wanting seems to be in opposition to the generation previous to them, because it is that child that is calling the previous generation into those changes which they absolutely need to make. When an entire family system gets on board with a full system's change, when any member within that family needs that to happen for the sake of their well-being, closeness, intimacy, all the things you want from family, are going to occur." Woosh ! Almost fell of my chair hearing all of this and feeling how it resonates so strongly in me. Incredibly perceptive and deep wisdom you're sharing in such a straightforward and clear way, Teal, thank you so much once again, as you keep blowing my mind, my ego, and breaking my heart in the most beautiful, powerful way, for me to heal myself into full self-acceptance and being and (re-)expressing the love that I am and that I know I deserve, as well as to realise that my heart was and is fulfilled, whole and complete to begin with and now will continue to be.... fully, truly, being alive and in love with me and with reality. Accepting dysfunction, I've noticed is a major part of that, because it takes of the pressure too of trying to see others for what they're actually not capable of in that moment, but it also means taking a distance to protect yourself to not put yourself in a position of constant disappointment and resentment for having others or yourself let you down. Healthy boundaries, healing boundaries, boundaries to allow love to flow more safely.

[@milomazli]

In the first 3 minutes I became so angry and offended, that I needed all self-control to not write my opinion in the chats. I sat through it, my anger somewhat disappeared. I know that for many people out there, this will hold great insights. For me.. Not so much. As we do not incarnate into the same family over and over again, I strongly hold the opinion that family is a lesson that we need to learn, but not in any way some place where we are doomed to be with forever. This mentality healed me, served me and continually serves me. I choose people around me. And when they are to my detriment, they can get the fcucuk out of my sight.

[@yvonneshanson1525]

milomazli. Agreed..

[@Morale_Booster]

Yes, Teal I have been WAITING for this one!!! I'm particularly interested in ancestral/genetic makeup passed down to us

[@luzbenitez1799]

I'd love to know more about that topic too... maybe she will go deeper on that someday

[@meagiesmuse2334]

Yes! I've read that we inherit the microbiome in our guts from what the past 8 generations of women ate on our mother's side of the family.

[@303cris]

Learn about epigenetics.

[@Morale_Booster]

@@303cris ah epigenetics! I will look into it thank you

[@303cris]

@@Morale_Booster check out Dr Bruce Lipton here on KZbin

[@10kCrows]

Just in time as always, thank u Teal. And blessings to YOU whomever you are who is reading this right now 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖🌈🌈🌈💖🌈💖🌈

[@georjaum12]

After awakening I learn that is best to love them from distance. Their view hurts and makes me unhappy. I don't see my father and my mother as family, I see and love them as the others, they were just biological and a way of coming here and my job is not to perpetuate their mistakes.

[@southernbawselady7092]

Matthew 10:36..."Your worst enemies will be members of your own family!" This is such a sad, but true reality! Stay strong! 🙏

[@yvettetorres7829]

You could forgive them energetically and wish them love from afar.

[@TealSwanOfficial]

Incase You'd Rather Read About It: tealswan.com/resources/articles/the-truth-about-family-r429/

[@amethyst4990]

My family is soo dysfunctional I left when I was 16. It was really hard and I tried reconnecting a few times but I am healthier and happier without them.

[@strawberrymins]

It’s highly tragic that this video made me cry in a good way because I feel finally validated. It’s tragic that many of us understand this so well. It feels like such a gaslight when you only ever see happy family propoganda everywhere, even from people who so called are only seeking for the truth.

[@lillpriest3675]

I grew up in a very toxic family. When I was 27, moved to the, US 20 yrs ago, best decision of my life!!! Since then I healed the traumas through psychedelics, but because of my shift to forgiveness they shifted, too. We have a much much better, loving relationship now.

[@mandolaa]

Did you go no contact and then you reached them again? If yes, how long after no contract you contacted again?

[@lillpriest3675]

mandolaa yes, of course I have been in contact all along. Unfortunately my parents died 4 yrs ago, but I have a loving relationship now with my siblings. You see, when you grow in a toxic family, it ruins all relationships, abuse erodes them, but love heals. I forgave my parents, and through me, my sisters did that, too. (I know it sounds pretentious, when your vibration gets higher by forgiveness, it will shift others closest to you). We have been healing our wounds. 💖

[@mandolaa]

@@lillpriest3675 I'm glad I'm hearing you healed your wounds. You make me optimistic about my healing and acceptance journey. Thank u🙏

[@juneelle370]

I wish there was a whole series on how to be an “empowered orphan”.... If I’d known I could walk away with love at 18 and had structured boundaries (like a once a year love letter sent to them) my life wouldn’t have been so difficult. Instead, staying close to an extremely toxic family only compounds your injury and drains you from the energy you need to heal and build your own life with new people. Some people who are very far on the spectrum of dysfunction and in the family system they’re the black sheep... you must get out. You must. But with love and I’d suggest a structured connection... like a once a year letter or holiday letters only. I wasn’t safe even letting my family know where I lived... I wasn’t safe letting them into any of my business... but I did... because I “loved” them.... now I know, yes I still love their incredibly dysfunctional and abusive a**es... but I’ve got to be careful... as careful as when handling a poisonous snake... it needs to be rare and with full attention and awareness that they are dangerous. How many people stay in close contact with family and it just messes up their life even more than if they’d cut off/created strict boundaries. I wish I’d been able to accept much earlier, before so much additional damage/abuse was done, that it’s ok to be an “orphan”... I’d like to know the spiritual path of the empowered orphan... to make it something beautiful... there has to be something good about it... something with a unique purpose... a unique perspective .... something to help people walk away sooner ... before they’ve set fire to your life and health and damaged every facet of your life... because you wanted to be loved and wanted to be “good” and “loyal” and “strong”... I’d love to hear more about spirituality within family systems and how, practically and spiritually BOTH, to handle a life with zero family care or support. ♥️Love to all the orphans of the world due to being a literal orphan or being born into a family that wasn’t worthy of the word “family” in the sense of love and care. No one WANTS to be an orphan, but maybe there’s a way to look at it that can reveal some nice truths/nice advantages/fresh spiritual perspectives! I’ve recently had some thoughts on this but I’ve already gone on too long and am hoping Teal might have some thoughts for the Empowered Orphan ♥️🙌⭐️thank you for all you do, Teal!

[@apemayaxx]

❤

[@yukiokuma8983]

This was about and for me, its crazy weird.Thank you. I've been forced to separate from my family becuase they refused to change, it's been the hardest time of my life and I'm still struggling 5 later. Thanks you for this!

[@mayraamato5177]

This is by far the cleverest content I have seen. Ever.

[@summerrwang]

thank you for what you do teal swan!!! i always felt a lot of self doubt because i see relationships and people similarly to how you do. I always felt like i have a sixth sense in a way. You explaining these things and putting it in words so eloquently makes me realize im not crazy and these unhealthy relationship dynamics and people's ignorance to these truths is a very real thing.

[@AbrielDelaney]

Right on time. Just had a conversation with my sister the other day about needing to separate from our family for 2-3 years for my own healing. I was conflicted not knowing whether or not to sever ties or to stay or to leave temporarily. You just talked me through my process, thank you. 🙏🏾

[@Kandis007]

I’m so glad Teal Swan chose this subject because I separated from my family when I was in my 20’s... Then we came together again after 8 years.... and recently I’ve seen some behaviors that have reminded me why our separation happened in the first place. Life is too short so I’m sending out positive energy and prayers for those dealing with hard family issues. 💞🙏🏼

[@jenny5569]

Totally love this video, the examples Teal gave are so on point that they totally apply on myself/people around me.

[@LauraVolpintesta]

“That he is unsafe and has no advocates in life”… thank you for giving some words to the impact of older brother on me growing up. It really really leaves a scar.

[@Nijigatsumi]

This has been my experience during the last years. I tried to incorporate the learnings and evolution i was going through to my family, whenever i did i felt rejected and invisible, that was followed by a period of doubting my own evolution, because i would regress back just to stop feeling their fear, yes i felt they were scared of me if i expressed any change, in some way i felt to make them feel secure and confortable i had to lie ... When i was toxic and not contributing to good, i felt i was sharing my life with them, when i was evolving i felt i could not share it, and i really tried. Now i am out of energy and tired to feel like i am a threat or problem , and about to completelly regress, only to feel the confort and belonging, but i know it would be a lie to everyone.

[@Dee-Ann_Louise]

I definitely feel I am growing, expanding and changing in spite of my family and in direct opposition to my Mother. Another awesome video. Thank you, Teal.

[@Layla-fr7mf]

Most families don’t do what is best for you but what is best for themselves and that includes having children that they assign roles like the golden child and scapegoat or invisible child and doing what they fell is best for you because it makes them comfortable. They only want what makes them comfortable not necessarily your authentic best self. It’s like the story of the nurse who wants to inject the patient to calm him or her down and will say it’s best for them but it’s only best for the nurses, doctors and hospital to keep them asleep not getting better by running around the hospital room with that energy and illness they have.

[@shaktiveda7041]

Hi Teal, this is such a sad story, I cannot even finish to listening to it without crying big tears...sorry for the loss of your friend's. I came across some similar scenario myself...found out I had cancer but when everybody began to pressure me to go and seek an allopathic care and cure I firmly stood up strong to it. I went alternative and did it my way...three months later everything were completely gone bye-bye! I love the family, but no one can tell us what to do with our own body and life, we are ultimately responsible for ourselves. I know it takes courage to take these serious matters in our own hands, but this is exactly what it takes at this time. No one knows our body better than ourselves.

[@colinmullaney3152]

I know you already made a video about cancer, but if you could break down the specific, underlying causes behind the many different types of cancer (and what changes the body is trying to achieve/force), that would be much appreciated. The “self sacrifice” cancer for instance...

[@cornelia7889]

From what i've read, the self-sacrificer cancer is the breast cancer, because they represent te energy we give to other people (I think Teal said this in that video) but I could be wrong - hope this helped though!

[@chameleonclouds7800]

Mmhmm I would love to hear these topics as well!! Bless

[@richverreault]

Wow, you aren't asking for much at all. if you are so interested in all that how about doing your own research and creating your own content from that research rather than asking another to do all that to appease you?

[@colinmullaney3152]

@@richverreaultUm... ok? I’m not sitting here demanding that Teal makes certain content, I’m merely saying “it would be appreciated” and it appears 27+ other people agree with me. I’m very confident that Teal would not take issue with this question, since she makes a living by providing knowledge to people, often in a town-hall format. It doesn’t mean that I cannot attain knowledge for myself, or form my own conclusions, just that I am interested in hearing her unique perspective on it. Who are you to judge, based on my question, the amount of research I have or haven’t done about my own self-development, or this issue in particular? I understand your point about making my own content, but do not worry about me on that front; your frustration in that regard is misdirected at me and actually speaks volumes about your own insecurities. Do not bother replying, I will not respond further, since that is clearly all that you want anyways.

[@richverreault]

@@colinmullaney3152 and 27 others are just as lazy as you, so are many many more who haven't seen this communication who would "like" your comment.

[@bryannasample1386]

Thank you for never victim blaming & for showing the truth

[@Sagha4]

Thank you thank you thank you 😔 exhausted cycling through this since 2017 in my life, but much needed to heal through!

[@fimanu]

Black sheep here. Had breakthrough with my older sister, who has come to resent our mother tremendously. Even though I don't resent my mum, I do feel relief in having my sister recognise and talk about how things were for me, and her own role in keeping things that way when we were younger. I left the family home when I was 18 and a couple of years later I moved to a different country. I lived 20 years abroad as the distance actually made it easier. I'm back now and have a great relationship with everyone but only my sister knows and actively supported my healing.

[@talkshh]

teal, thanks to you in the last few months i began to think about my passions in life again. i am prioritazing them. i appreciate you so much. this video speaks the truth.

[@Layla-fr7mf]

Separating from my family healed my soul.

[@digitalbrand5510]

“Don’t ever tell anyone outside the family what you are thinking.” The Godfather

[@narcabusevictimgermany9687]

It is dangerous if you are a Mafioisi or if you have a criminal mindset. If you don’t have that, it’s good to speak up

[@alyanneful]

This is her most important video to date! It slays everything because most of it problems are from family system Dynamics. I think it's the equivalent to undoing systemic racism and people react in the same way that they acknowledge it doesn't really exist

[@thetransformers6683]

❤️QUESTION: I grew up in a highly disfunctional family: 2 narcisistic parents mother highly violent with all of her 3 daughters since they were very young I witnessed a lot of domestic violence and abuse...father was almost never present as working overseas but that was really an excuse to not be in the family as my mother was and still a psyco, but they always pretended everything was normal and perfectly fine😉 using extreme gaslight. I escaped abroad travelling for many years when I was 21 building my self. I am 30 now. And had to come back in my "family" house for COVID19 a lot of shadow came out me and one of my sister are the mirror of their disfunctionality they cannot stand us. Family is separated but still pretending everything is great. I had to see a lawyer for the 1st time in my life as my mother wanted to kick me out of the house. But this time I stood up for my self and I am no longer scared of her (as she used physical violence on me untill I was 19) I am devoted to my self and always present for my self I know deep inside I am a teacher. I am not abandoning my self anymore I used to think about suicide but now I understood. My pattern would be to focus on the negative (and so staying in the negative) but I changed that too. My family is not willing to see their disfunction and even if I mind my own business the mob me to get away from them. I know that they are so far from me emotionally also I am living from my truth and they are escaping their truth everyday so we are definitely not a match. I feel good when I distance my self from them and my friends are my real family and I am always here for me. By following what I think is the best for me as I love my self I believe I am doing the right thing. And I.try to look at them with an eye of compassion and appreciating them from far when I feel like it. I know I am on the right path. Thank you for your video. Much love from Italy❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️I will come and see you one day in costa rica💙 I am also a vegan Chef so I would love to make you something ❤️ love you guys. Thank you for being part of my FAMILY❤️ LISA

[@drdemi]

so, what's the question? :-)

[@thetransformers6683]

@@drdemi I guess It was more a monolog than a question 😂 or looking for approval if I was doing the right thing, but I guess I don't need any😉

[@thetransformers6683]

@Nóra Jánosi hey Nora, yes I feel you too...in my family emotions was always treated like a transaction you do this for me and then you will have this this and this... This is conditional love. I say to you be proud of your bubble even if for other ppl it could seem the most stupid thing, well it doesn't matter because it matters to you you are free to be and do what ever you choose to and you can. Do not feel defined by your family because you are not. A lot of parents think that their childrens are their property and they are an extension of them making you believe so since you were a child so then you loose yourself and always question your self if you should be or do something as it could go in opposition to your family. But I learned that my approval is all I will ever need. And if my family doesn't approve of me is their problem. Nothing to do with you. Keep doing what makes you happy. By following that as you said you will attract ppl like you who are free and are following their joy. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@thetransformers6683]

@@real_path hey, the situation we have is very similar, my mum is the same but do not let her behavior scare you. I left so many times here but this time due to COVID I could not and I was forced to find a solution. So In my case I am not the owner but I have my residency in this house. My mum is the only owner (my dad bought the house, but it's in her name) legally parents are forced to help their childrens if they are in need (especially in this situation) I didn't know untill I went to the lawyer which told me I have all the right to stay here. I also lock my self in my room day and night as It makes me feel more safe and always keep the keys with me as my mum does not know what privacy and respect are. So in your case since you also are the owner that is your home to. If you feel like go back use grey rock method with her if necessary (look it up) you will take awhile at the beginning but you will learn to prioritize your own self. I did I came out of depression and wanting to not live anymore. I choose me, I am on the other side now and you are doing it to. I am here❤️ let me know how it goes❤️

[@terrigoulding559]

100% agree with this.❤️🙏

[@Dextrosephus]

Time to load the truth bullets...❤️ Also loved the “ ...in no time!...” part

[@nickidaisyreddwoodd5837]

That is absolutely true. That is the main reason why I had to terminate my bank account and prevent my brother from sending me my parents support money. My mother wanted me to be financially dependent to them and at the same time she blamed me for their financial problems (when my brother gets like 6 times as much money from them as I did). One day I lost it on Skype and yelled at her. It was not much longer that I terminated the bank account and stopped talking to them. My parents and brother are extremely neurotic and all is unconscious. I do care about them though. But I had to set up very clear boundaries to them. It's those boundaries that freed me and enable me to heal my wounds.

[@annacosta2939]

I cut all my family members years ago when I moved to the US. I left all behind and moved to NYC with only a backpack. I still talk to my mom sometimes and I can tell, after all those years, they haven't progressed neither mentally nor spiritually. It makes me feel good about leaving them years ago😂...

[@joudabdullah3845]

I hope I one day have the courage to do this!

[@LJtheSouthernVegan]

Thank You Teal. These lessons are helping undercover my traumatic experiences.

[@MrHlcg1962]

First traumatic, yes, until realization sets in. Then peace

[@PJ-we7cy]

So true!! 🙏👏💓

[@MmHairColorisT]

It took me 20 years separated from my family to change the dynamics, heal and regain the bond when we had all worked enough on ourselves, now each one gives the best of ourselves and the family can respect and love each member, providing encouragement, affection and support for each one in their differences ... to stop being an outcast or abandoned parents takes a lot of personal improvement and a lot of love to understand and forgive our roles and mistakes ... but leaving all this behind and having harmony is the closest to happiness . Thanks Teal because during all these years ... it has been the brightest ligthhouse of light that without interference managed to give me all the necessary knowledge to find my way back home. I sincerely admire you and consider you the best friend ever ... as well as one of the most authentic and wise people of this time .warm greetings and a huge hug from Cali Colombia.

[@Melmeskauskas]

You are absolutely fantastic!!!! I hope my kids watch this as I just shared it. Amazing explanation! In love with your methods of explaining

[@watersprite333]

100% accurate - this video should be shown to all young adults; unless you have very mature, well-balanced, supportive parents/siblings, whom respect you, as another and separate human being, making your own choices and decisions in life, then move away as soon as you can. This is the best advice, in order to reach your full potential in this lifetime, within every area of your "own" life; you can still love them from a distance. Family can be the most toxic element in your life and can be responsible for the experience of much trauma, throughout your entire life; they can reflect all of their own insecurities onto you without even knowing what they are doing - look after your own well being/sanity in the first instance, very important.

[@kaykitching]

I don’t know if Teal is going to read this comment, but I truly hope that she will do a video on OCD one day. I noticed that a lot of people amongst the spiritual community started dealing with obsessive and intrusive thoughts out of the blue. I’m one of them, but I definitely see a lot more other people dealing with this as well.

[@christianwilliams6847]

This is the most important topic! I learned this on my own 7 years ago, arguably saved my life because of the profound changes. Most of the time, taking a few years break away from your family will allow the members to reassess the importance of the unit and it's functions.

[@amandakimbrough2862]

Always breakin me wide open. I love this geminian genius

[@InnerSun777]

So true, family dynamics are so impactful on our growth in life. They can be some of the hardest parts to work with, but the most rewarding. Thank you teal! As I slowly transformed my anger, into compassion about my family, I have slowly transformed into my happiest and healthiest self.

[@ripthabeat6566]

This hit close to home thank you for your insight 👍🏽❤️✌🏽

[@BrookeSuraba]

Great video for me today. It was really hard to tell our family that a large gathering is unsafe right now, but we know we must do so to keep them safe. It felt horrible to be in opposition to the family, but we did what we know to be right in order to influence them to stay safe.

[@ksmik68]

After I combat cancer, I am a very different woman. I look at life differently. Not a great person for the family. My whole family holds me at arm’s length. Now I have no life. I live in my bedroom by myself. I have no friends to talk to. I have thought of suicide as a way for me to end my suffering. I just need it to stop. Thank you for your kindness and time.

[@askeral1]

Read Eckhert Tolle, "The Power of Now" and other content by him.

[@meagiesmuse2334]

Cancer support groups could help, and there are groups that are specific to cancer survivors. You can look them up online and hopefully find one near you, or maybe an online forum to talk to others who are like you. I've not had cancer, but a serious illness did change me to where I found most people to be shallow in the extreme, so I think I get how different you may feel, and I know there are many others who've been through the same thing.

[@lt6573]

Read 'Shadows before the Dawn' by Teal Swan. The second part of the book gives us tools to learn how to love ourselves and take our power back!!! You're so worth this life!!! My latest mantra when I'm feeling sad is "Life is a gift from God" it reminds me that they(parents) didn't give me life, God gave me life - they were just used at vessels through which I came through...that's it!. Live for YOU, for your beautiful, magnificent, Sovereign Self, live for God. Sending love! 🙏💟

[@Lane2268]

I was neglected, the scape goat through my life. Any connection that I wanted would be sabotaged every time. I have a disease that will take my life and oddly this is the thought that brings me some form of peace. I was emotionally and mentally and physical abuse. Two leaving permanent scars on my body, but the scars in my soul are the scars that still have power to harm me. They say that an infant will die without love, some that survive I cannot see a way to long life or a fulfilled life as they remain subject to familial ostracism and emotional and verbal abuse. I am journaling my hurt my harm and my understanding. That journey before I die will be given to my family and to my psychologist with hope that need and care can be shown while in the youth of the person. I was in my late 20s when I discovered that my single parent home was filled with narcicism, that is also when I discovered that I had diabeties. Now I have heart disease and realize how much destruction of my body came from abuse that then set in as my inner dialogue. I share this because it is no longer a vulnerability to do so. There is no reason to weep in silence anymore, I have discovered my talents late in my life as a person in their late 40s, now 52 I wish that I could have shared this wisdom with my younger self. I look at my pictures when I was a child and feel great sadness gor that child. Even going so far as to apologize to myself. I am encouraged that I could grow to that understanding, because I have seen too many relatives carry their toxicity to their grave and innocent through the veil of their own narcicism. God bless you all.

[@iolite2]

Maybe it's time to discuss how to heal when the family won't change. How to accept the resentment and shame, etc that stems from this environment. You always describe how necessary it is to the health of the individual to have dysfunctional family members get on board with changing themself and caring about other people's welfare, when if it was remotely possible for the abusive family members to do that, they wouldn't abuse and be dysfunctional in the first place. How to handle the internal environment for the person on the receiving end to heal and move forward when change from the family is absolutely not in the cards would be an appreciated video! You have always done excellent analysis in these videos am I am feeling that more could be said here on this matter.

[@lorensingleton4002]

How you summed up the video at the end gave me goosebumps, I try not to rely on external validation too much but I really needed to hear that. Thank you Teal and much love everyone 💜🙏

[@franzabananza]

This is absolutely fantastic. So needed. I’ve recently needed to remove myself from my family and this hits the nail on the head. But duh it’s teal. When does she ever miss the mark lol

[@jennifer777]

Thank you for talking about all these "unpleasant" things, which most people don't like to hear. The truth about this world we live in sometimes doesn't make you popular, but it makes what you say even more important. And people should realize that change or the truth must not be overly painful. Actually it is the opposite, once you stop judging yourself and others. It is healing and empowering. And truth is LOVE, as LOVE is truth. LOVE is who we are. LOVE never hurts, fear does.

[@MrKeysWorld]

The older I got the more I separated from my family. I still love them from a distance. Amazing video!!! ☮️💎

[@kellydawn1432]

This was eye opening and validating. I keep forgetting how hard it is to be home with all the same disfunction

[@HarryWebb46]

I wish you had gone into depth about ancestral karma and family curses.

[@akiinefaexperiencinglife]

In a separate video,with this as the foundation, would be great

[@meroalex412]

Thank you Teal for being part of my life journey. It's an hounr! Love and Peace ❤

[@briant7652]

My family is garbage. I’ll be starting my own.

[@nikola3884]

please don't children before fixing your trauma.

[@briellehunter7233]

🤣😂😅

[@leenasemar6991]

Mine too!!

[@heathercruz8282]

Having your own family can cause more harm 💯 if you haven't repaired re parented your self...

[@PS-xb9hc]

Make sure you heal first!

[@mariarohmer2374]

I can’t even fathom the kind of life some people have with the type of family that gives, nurtures and uplifts. I mean what a gift & a blessing. I’m happy for them. For others of us however life has not been that kind when it comes to family. I’d love a redo! The work is hard & feels impossible bc everything “normal” & everyone wants to make you feel wrong when you decide to speak truth. They don’t want to hear it, see it or feel it. They will try to “beat” you down to stop you. Just know you do not have to play THEIR game. Be in your power & truth. Blessings!✨

[@mosthighgod7820]

We're All GOD's Children "Mitakuye oyasin - All are related." Words and Emotions are extremely powerful, stay blessed! 😇🙏👽✌️🤣

[@LawkBanner]

this was helpful for me 🙏 thank u

[@Cliodhna-z1i]

Personally I don't see the ideal scenario being healing with the entire family as in alignment all the time. It's a matter of synchronicity. They are also individuals that have traumas and that don't really care about the family structure sometimes. The role I played is the Deep Issues Problem solver and the intricate dynamics, that's why I'm mainly focused on integration and building my own family, but not through birth of children but with new permanence with people I belong with. It doesn't always work , Teal, even if you try your best, even if you give it your all. It just doesn't happen you are spiritual and they are " down to earth " even though being down to earth means to be more in the past or in separation, by exclusion of the multi-dimensional aspects of life. You will always love them because they are you, just like you'd love anything evil or cruel or demonic. It's you, it doesn't change that. But sadly we have an ego and we have to love it and take care of it. If they can't do it then it's better to part ways and make your own thing. Source can help you build it, you are that after all. So to me no structure for family or preferred way of being should be that strict. Also biology shouldn't be very strict as it shifts with thoughts and awareness. Things have been improving lately, but my entire family perceives themselves to be alone in general and are only walls that sometimes won't talk to you if you don't forcefully put them in a lose-win scenario with you when they depend on you for love and you'll give it only if they do the shadow work with you. It's just so complex that I don't think 1 video is enough. It should be like an entire book. But I'm assuming you're aware of it and how painful it is, especially for the rare cases like myself and others. Regardless thank you for the video and thank you for reading, whoever you may be, believe in yourself first and foremost and then think about family and social structures. They're just mental constructs after all, nothing too serious. If it doesn't work, throw it away and build something for yourself.

[@bernardbujard9944]

No family is perfect. All human beings make mistakes. No one can do well at everything and everyone has room for improvement... many at parenting. Thank-you Teal & Tribe for including pictures of happy people. I will always remember the family meals we had together which often included friends that I can choose to focus on. "Surround yourself with positive energy." There is no such thing in this universe as a worthless human being; however, “Energy is contagious, positive and negative alike. I will forever be mindful of what and who I am allowing into my space.” Alex Elle

[@beyourownforceofnature7291]

☀️”Thank you, Teal”🙏🏻💜💫

[@MC-dz8be]

This video really resonates with me as I am in the process of moving out of my families' environment. I am past the point of it being repairable too many times my pleas for change have been unheard or played down like I am overreacting. I really tried to make it work but at certain point we have to cut ties with toxicity or stagnation and move on with our lives I deserve peace of mind too.

[@marcduchamp5512]

Most of the family members are there to block you from moving forwards

[@afziashamsi]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I'm honoured to be able to hear you!

[@TheDreamDetective888]

"Never go against the family..." (wheezing gangster voice)

[@irshadahmad3905]

Why?

[@bw2442]

@@irshadahmad3905 because they will make you a deal you can’t refuse.

[@Amy_mee]

Since I can remember, my biggest wish is to show them who I am and still be loved... and seeing them happy, because they never were

[@queendom9491]

same

[@asmrcomplex9895]

I never felt connected to my family, when I left, I felt nothing and kept all parts of myself. Gotta disagree with teal on this one.

[@wendywilliams3962]

WoW. Thank you Teal. People (guilty...) will fight for their limitations/programing. So grateful for you!!

[@noran2096]

I just had a fighting with my mom and i was crying and i slept! I just woke up to to this notification! I guess god has a sense of humour

[@nicoleinwonderland6452]

I had something similar happen with my mom too. The timing of this video is on point :)

[@jessiesing1034]

God does have a sense of humour iv always said so to my children it's very warm and chuckly type..loving 😊

[@evanwolf6618]

God is spelled with capital G.

[@noran2096]

god help him find a job

[@flybabyskybaby]

The Story about your friend made me cry, you are so strong Teal. I Love you. Stay blessed 🙏🏻🌸