What I learned from 100 days of rejection | Jia Jiang | TED

[@sevenaries]

"Never reject yourself before they reject you" - Me 2021

[@Noukz37]

"If they reject you, just eject them" - Me 2021

[@fabrizio9818]

"Never ask who I am or what my name is, don't even say it." - Mama, Joe. (1942 - 1969)

[@virgilebonnaud5525]

@@fabrizio9818 ok Mike

[@normalbuerger]

So many people just don't let others get to know them. Instead they present a list of all the (assumed) reasons to not like them at the very first encounter 🙄 I hear people refer to “humility/modesty” a lot these days, almost inflationary - this is certainly not what it means, though

[@spendleton360]

Beautifully put

[@bluethan806]

6 years old he walked out of a classroom crying from rejection 30 years old he walked out of a classroom crying from acceptance

[@jesuslovesyou7130]

Naruto Uzumaki

[@jul29919]

full circle

[@E--Drop]

.....@Ethan Micallef *Underrated comment* .............@@jesuslovesyou7130​ *Underrated reply*

[@natskii7026]

And he spends the next 10 years to overcome his fear of acceptance

[@the-based-jew6872]

Acceptance but no woman. 'what a nice guy' they say. 🤗

[@nicedog1]

Rejection hurts because it makes us doubt ourselves but the worst thing is ‘inaction’. As long as you are moving forward, you are doing ok.

[@aungar2403]

My Dad's words to me. Golden!

[@jamesrussell2936]

I _loath_ inaction.

[@80americarlos]

nicedog1 exactly. I totally agree. Perseverance!

[@80americarlos]

nicedog1 mind if I use your quote? And how did you receive your understanding of “Rejection”? -it is true.

[@colejackson9415]

so fucking true

[@maii.8338]

"Most successful people do not let rejection define them. They let their reaction to rejection define themselves." Amazing TEDTalk!

[@someidk6996]

How can i copy this

[@justindifeliciantonio5140]

It’s not “reaction” but conscious response. If you’re afraid of rejection and you react to it, you’ll just keep running in a variety of ways (which isn’t always running away, it could just mean being more clever in how you get the other person to say yes, because it still defines as a person whether they say yes.)

[@Joe-ew5zq]

insightful

[@Ajithkumarm107]

Rejected Continuously in 28 interviews....just to be a Software Developer in 29th Interview..Happy that I didn't Give Up...

[@LorenzoMarch]

hope its going well

[@MisterE1976]

Sweet,man. Congratulations. 😀

[@jamisonhenry5490]

Great job, now keep working it’s only the beginning

[@rogerrabbit2902]

holy pearl. top class, son. this is the positive stuff we need to read

[@sfatima6380]

👏👏👏

[@KellyWakasa]

wow i've watched a lot of ted talks and this is my favorite one. he's so genuine, his story is so relatable and i want a burger refill

[@guillecobo_]

Kelly you the man bro

[@saarthshah]

Damn, Kelly taking up intellectual content.

[@andywr.097]

always me last

[@andy_v_n5893]

Kelly watched smart videoss????

[@cristian-mw7ol]

kelly, I love your videos man

[@elleste886]

if burger refill becomes a thing, it's because of this guy

[@CellGames2006]

Howard Schultz might put greeters at his Starbucks just to speed up his 2020 campaign... that 5 million views sounds hot.

[@computerbiscuit]

I peed a little lol

[@31Sparrow]

bottomless burger refills plz

[@nwilt7114]

I'll take one hamburger and gladly pay you on Tuesday.

[@marzipancutter8144]

All you can eat buffets are a thing. Thank you Jia I guess.

[@grepgrok8735]

1. Don't run. Stay engaged. 2. Ask "Why?" 3. Relate to their emotions and mentions their doubts 4. Just ask for what you want 5. Embrace rejection

[@aj7cool7]

Beautiful summary

[@kevinskywalker52]

Easier said than done, but really nice summary.

[@MuhammadAamir-dj9lg]

Rationally engaged

[@MuhammadAamir-dj9lg]

Asking why

[@ツワイガシチル]

​@kevinskywalker52 yeah I think it's a good lesson tough, you stand up for yourself and overcome your fear of rejection, and of your rejected you still tried I believe it is a worse outcome if something good could have happened but it didn't because you gave up before trying

[@Mr.Chick3n]

wow I just asked a girl out she turned me down and this was the first video in my suggestion feed. thanks KZbin.

[@KKKKAAAARRRRYYYYNN]

Hi M r. Chicken, did you ask her why she said no? Little known fact about getting a yes for a date...you have to ask with specifics ..ask her "may I take you to ( specific place) on ( specific day) at (exact time)? ". Once that person has more specifics you are more likely to be offering something that the person wants and lessens their doubt.

[@snowframe2995]

@@KKKKAAAARRRRYYYYNN I did exactly that, I asked a girl "Hey, I'm going to see a movie on Thursday with a friend at 12:40, would you like to come?" (I texted her this) She said no, so I asked if she is free saturday, she said she is busy working. I'll give it a week, then ask more broadly, something like "Hey, would you be interested in hanging out somewhere, on the holidays?", so she can't go "sorry, im busy the whole holidays". (Face to face)

[@jokdaris]

@@snowframe2995 Hey, how did it go? :)

[@snowframe2995]

jokdaris no luck :p

[@keithreinking6670]

@@KKKKAAAARRRRYYYYNN you may get a yes that way if its something she wants to do , but if she isn't attracted to him which she clearly already decided. Then he is better off this way , instead of wasting time and money on her he can find a girl that is attracted to him . Hint , use your money to buy a Gym membership and work out , everyone Male and female is attracted to people l.j e that are inshape.

[@jerodapidap4944]

I like how he turned a serious matter in life into humor

[@JulyFourth1776]

Necessary public speech skills in order to attract the audience's attention.

[@TheMarkoPoloProgram]

That’s how many comedians work.

[@soioioioioioio34]

well it is stand up comedy

[@DodongDialogue]

@@JulyFourth1776 esssssssgssssgfsesgssxsss dog cc hahahagggxssxxf gg g GG ha ffgsgg gf ggxxcg gf g GG ggfgggxgxggh gg ggshggsgxsxgxggfxh ha ggsgcgsffgscggfgsg GG ggfgggxgxggh gfgfghfssggggghgwchfhhfs gc hcfhxgcsghhshghgg gg fhfghfgfhhfhhfhhgsgggggfhggghgghhfcgghfhhhhfhcghhhhhghgffhhhhgcgshhfhghhhghhhhhchhgffgggghhhhhghhhghghhhfhhghhghxhhhhhchhxfgfghhhhfhhhhhchhhfhhhhfghhhhfhhhfhhhhhhhhhhhgfhhfhhhghfhcggggggghffhgggghghghggghghghghhhfhghgfhhgfhcghghhhhhhhhchhhhhgsghhgfhhghhgghhhhcxhhhhhfhghhhhhxhhhhghfhhhhhgghxhhhhhfhhhhfhhhhhhhhfhhgfhhggghhhwfhfhfhhhhhffghhhgfgfgghfhhhhhhhhhhhhghhxghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghhhhhhfhfgfhhfhhhhhhhhhfchhhffhhhchhhhxhfhhfhhhhhhhgfhhhghhfhxhhchhhhhchhhhgfhcchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfhhhhhhhhhhhhhfhhhhhgfgghhhhhhhhhhhhhhgghhghhgghhhghhghhhfhghhhhhhhhhchfhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfhhhhgghhhhhhhhchhhfhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfhhhhhfhhhgfhhhhhhhhhhffhhchhhhchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgfgchhhfhhhhhchhhhhchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfhhhfchhhhhhhhhhhhxfchhhhhhhhhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhchhghfhfhhhfhhhfhhhhfhhhhhhihhhchhhhhfhhhhhfhihhhhhhhhhhhhghhhhhhhhhfhhfhhhhhhhchhhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhchhihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhwchhgfhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhchhhhhifhhhgfhhhhhhhfghhghhhhhhhhhhhihhhhghhhhhhhhhhhshhhhhshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhihhhhhhhgh8hhhshhhhhhhhhhhhchhhhhhhhhhfhhhhhhhhfçhihfhhhhhhhhhehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhchçhiih8hhhhçchhhhhhhihiffhhhhçhhhhhhhhhifh8hhhhhhhfiihhhihii8çfhiiiihiihicihhhiihiihhifh8hi8hihhhhhhçhcfçchhhhhihhhhfhhccçhfchhicfiffçfffcch8ffhfhihhhhhhiccçehçcgiffchhhfhfhhhhffhiççfcccfhhhhhhhhfffhçhcçhiççiçhhhchihhchfffhfffcchifcccccccccffccçchhhhcccchcccccfcfiifffhifccchçccccfffffihhçcccffcccffffcfffffhffcifffccçfccffcçhffffchffcccffcfhfcciiccccfiificiccchhffccccciffffihhhhffccccciccf8cçfcfccffchhhhçffccccccccciccfhfffcchhcfcchccccfcccicchhchccccfcfcffccchcc8ffffccccccchccfchchiifccccucchfcccccffffffffchcfcccccffffichhhccccccfffffhhffcccchccccccccccicccfifçhccchicchcccccffccccccffifhfchfffcchfqcccçccchçccfffffhfffccciiicihhcccccccccfhccfffcccccfçfccçhccccfffcccccfffffcffffhihcfcfffcfcccccccccccfcccccffccccffccccifhfccccifficgfffffffcccccccfcifcfhhhhhfchfcccfffccffiuccffffffhfchfhiiffffffcfffccfcccccccccccchhfhffciffffffffccccccfcccccccccccffcciccccccccccichcffhfcicicccccicccccccffcccccccccccccfffccffuçcgccicffifffcfccccffifcffffffffffffcifcifffhfffcccccccccccccccfgccccccccccccccciuicccccccccccchchfcfccccchchffffcccccffffccccccccccfffcccccffffffcfcccccfccfccchfffffffficccffcccifffffffcccfccccccccccfffffccccccccccccçcfcffcccfcccccccc gccccccccccffffffffffffhfhf hfiiccchcfhfcffhhhhhhfffhffccffccccffffffcccccffcccccccccchffcicccccfciccicffffcgfffcfccccccffccfffccfcfifffciiccccccffficccchcccffcfffffccccfchffiffcicccchfficcccihcccc chcufhfhhcfhcchccçcfcffiffccfcicccccccccccccfccfffcccccccccccccccccccfffcfcccffffcffccffccccccfcffffffcfcfffcffhffffcccccccccccfcffhhiifffcffffiffffcccccicccfcfccccccccccccffccfcc

[@DodongDialogue]

@@TheMarkoPoloProgram ccfhffhifffccfccfffcfcccccccfffucccccccccfucccccccciccccchcfffhffcciiccccccccfcfcfccfccccccfccccccicccccccffhcchifhccccccccfhccocfffff gccfcffcfffc

[@georgehiggins1320]

This is possibly one of the most inspiring ted talks I've ever seen.

[@icecreamforcrowhurst]

Is that you, Bob?

[@georgehiggins1320]

@@icecreamforcrowhurst Tis I

[@HassanAhmed-rf9xr]

the best one ever i was so hooked kept on repeating some words .... didnt think so many would agree with me

[@blessed7fold]

100% Agreed.

[@JosiahFickinger]

It's probably because it's a very relevant problem, and he has very good teaching skills.

[@JinjiSayson]

Please also take note of this lesson he imparted: “And then, I learned I could fulfill my life dream by asking.” That is an underrated statement. Learning how to advocate for yourself, because you know you deserve the best is a very important life skill.

[@knifeyonline]

That's not advocating for yourself. Advocating for yourself is convincing people of your worth, not getting stuff while also being worthless. Everybody has something to contribute, not enough people actually contribute.

[@gennarorusso9959]

@@knifeyonline the key point is that he advocated for himself while also really trying to give his best. You can see it pretty clearly in the videos he posted: in the doughnut one he asks expecting a "no" and was caught by surprise when the cashier actually helped him. That probably helped him a lot to see his goal: not asking absurd requests and doing nothing about it but asking weird questions and backing his requests with his own capabilities. Like what happened with the lesson in University, where he came prepared with Powerpoints and everything. I hope I explained myself as English is not my first language.

[@knifeyonline]

@@gennarorusso9959 I was replying to the comment and not the video. "You deserve the best" is bullshit losers say to themselves and become jealous of everybody else. The truth is, you deserve whatever you earn, and it's based on how much effort you put in. If you think "You deserve the best" by default, then why even work? You should just be given everything for free if you deserve the best.

[@gennarorusso9959]

@@knifeyonline I didn't say otherwise. "You deserve the best" shouldn't be the same as "I should get whatever I want without proving myself".

[@knifeyonline]

@@gennarorusso9959 the best means it's something better than everybody else gets or has gotten. Everybody can't have the best, if everybody had it then it would be average... the average is never the best by definition.

[@ClemensAlive]

Yes, yes and double yes! Here's a little story from my life: When I was 17, I was the most bullied kied in school - BY FAR! I then saw that something like a community on that new platform called "KZbin" was building. (It was 2010) So I also started making videos.... I got laughed at by a couple of HUNDREDS of students EVERY DAY...but I didnt quit. I thought: "When you all hate me anyways, there's no point in quitting." 5 years later I had one of the most successful KZbin channels in Germany. (It's this one :) ) Then I retired from beeing a KZbinr and started as a consultant for social media strategies in 2017. I got rejected exactly 68 times until I signed my first customer for 200$ (lol). Today I have clients all over the world. (Silicon Valley, Atlanta, Berlin,...you name it) Don't let rejection define you. It is nothing personal. In fact, If I would not have been rejected that often, I would not have known what my niche target group even needs...I would just sit there and call myself a failure all the time.

[@kaitlyng7850]

That's amazing! Congrats!!!

[@FelixDaHousecat11]

Your story is amazing :) I hope you continue to grow, you deserve it.

[@wholelottamemesyes9426]

Deine Flachwitze Videos waren der Hammer :D

[@pyttpytts2690]

Well done

[@sophon238]

Brilliant, you are an inspiration

[@sushantmanandhar1387]

Jia: Can I do a Ted talk about being rejected? Ted: Sure thing bro Jia: (wtf dude you're supposed to say no)

[@JDFrates]

Sushant Manandhar classic Ted

[@everangelist]

His rejection got rejected!

[@oreoflores7204]

@@everangelist I think that's what you call rock bottom?

[@bigperm5027]

😂😂😂😂

[@tonywalker1954]

@@oreoflores7204 😂😂😂😂

[@tommyfunn]

I'll never forget being 8 yrs old in the drive-thru w/ my dad telling me that rejection is nothing to be afraid of (he IS an amazing salesperson), and then proving it by asking for a FREE large order of fries at the drive-thru speaker at McDonalds. He joked with the cashier for a second, then asked again. She laughed and said "I don't think that's possible," and my father said, "We would love it if you could do it!" and pulled forward. What do ya know...the girl hands us our order. NO fries. Then she turns to grab something else...THE BIGGEST BAG OF FRENCH FRIES I'VE EVER SEEN. It was. an. entire. bag. of. fries. All these employees start laughing. My face must have lit up. To this DAY, I've never seen that many french fries at one time. These people EMPTIED the stockroom to make this thing. Laughter abounds. A lesson learned... And somewhere, a lost french fry rests silently beneath the seat of an '88 Ford Taurus... AWESOME VID!

[@tkomla]

Awesome comment! Thanks for that story 😊💜

[@tankolad]

You have such a great father. Lucky guy :)

[@itsot12]

That's beautiful.

[@velvetdeyla1265]

Lead by exemple! Your father got it ;) what a good exemple to you!

[@888merry]

Love it! Thanks for sharing.

[@LauraGammack]

That was a fantastic use of 15 mins of my time. This guy is funny, inspirational, and I needed that. Feeling so rejected lately and have been forgetting to see it as opportunity for growth.

[@tyromeyamaguchi9016]

Agreed

[@tarass8737]

My teacher once told me something that really helped. She said don't be scared to ask, all someone can do is say "no", they can't do anything worse than that. I don't know why it really had an impact on me.

[@lt6573]

My Godmother shared the exact same advice with me in my early 20's which has helped me so much.

[@bullseye6969]

So how many men you asked out and how many rejected you?

[@Starfreak72]

my friend said the same, but the girl said 'ew' :')

[@NyobcaKbn8mG2kgwbDdGmdlhIcGKMt]

@@bullseye6969 fr

[@bian7744]

I asked someone to give me the vape pen and they chased me away with brass knuckles.

[@traveel9409]

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” -Michael Scott

[@mannyechaluce3814]

or was it Wayne Gretzky ? :D

[@traveel9409]

@@mannyechaluce3814 ;)

[@carolinecady5505]

@@mannyechaluce3814 it was obama

[@Tekrow]

Wayne Gretzky

[@dmstretchtv224]

Traveel how tf did u forget this

[@caifancabr0n699]

This was a fucking amazing TED talk

[@HorseLegend]

14:33 say it don't spray it

[@tharunjain9683]

Carlos Reyes I truly agree man life is changing

[@KindaKiki]

Tharun Jain OZILLL

[@shiwalogo2]

i agree, this was a GREAT talk

[@FlaggingAwesome]

Carlos Reyes Absolutely. Best thing I've seen in a while!

[@val3rystar885]

This talk is so amazing! I laughed the entire time but then I cried at the end because I realized how much Ive let my fear of rejection control my life. I felt overwhelmed thinking of the instances Ive let my fear stop me from chasing my dreams. I intend to take back control of my life. Thank you for this life changing talk!

[@maxpayne4129]

You can do it 💪💯🔥🔥🔥

[@louismarhookperuvwe4391]

You can!!!!!!

[@maxpayne4129]

@Five o’clock pervert Honestly I thought the same but if it motivates people that's cool

[@WattsOnTheMind]

I feel you! Been there and still are I think, but we are improving :)

[@maxpayne4129]

@Five o’clock pervert facts

[@GhostToLane]

Im gonna ask for a burger refill at every burger place now. Thank you

[@toalhousecokey25]

Then you get a bill for the burger refill!

[@HassanAhmed-rf9xr]

@@toalhousecokey25 then you run (the only time the ted talker would allow it...)

[@lokyinphotography]

Remember to ask why

[@rz.r705]

got me laughing men

[@Darkness1071]

Take the wrapper and lay it flat on the counter when you ask 😆

[@rqh2198]

This guy should totally start a career of stand-up comedy! He's got a natural and effortless sense of humor around him

[@andyreiter6253]

Not really.. maybe for some chines guys that have no charm

[@josephaether377]

i thini it's just that his type of personality is likable in a submissive and servile way (not bad thing). i always naturally seek to benefit these people with a smile for them because i know that alphas probably regularly take advantage.

[@JulyFourth1776]

@@andyreiter6253 WTF?

[@jdc4316]

Andy Reiter fucking idiot

[@vikrantkharatmal6171]

@@jdc4316 guys he's following the pattern :p

[@kevingarm]

I've said for years that the more formal education people have, the more it is reinforced to avoid failure, when in fact failure is a necessary part of success. Jia Jiang you did the best job of illustrating this that I have ever seen! Great talk.

[@SuSmallville]

Bad example would be Elizabeth Holmes of Theranos

[@RobertMJohnson]

not true, Armstrong. doctors, attorneys, engineers from our top universities are incredible professionals. Getting great grades at our best schools isn't failure-avoidance in the least.

[@sariahlace5944]

Well said

[@Dave_of_Mordor]

@@RobertMJohnson i don't think that's what he meant by failure avoidance.

[@RobertMJohnson]

@@Dave_of_Mordor that's exactly what he meant, Luigi. "the more formal education people have, the more it is reinforced to avoid failure" what is more "formal" than the doctors, attorneys, engineers from the top-ranked universities in the US who make the highest grades and essentially do NOT go on to "fail" but achieve great success (to your point)?

[@kagom3]

Rejection is often a “chance” in disguise. I got rejected by a coffee shop I applied to, 3 months later I got a job as a staff writer in a newspaper company. My ex-boyfriend fed me with constant rejection, I left him and found my current bf-who’s the total opposite of my ex. Sometimes all we have to do is accept that there are things in this world that is just *not for us*. Leave the close doors closed, let other doors open.

[@megancutshaw8852]

Congrats!!! I love your viewpoint. May I ask how you landed the job as a newspaper writer? Did you have a portfolio of writing or how did they select you? I’m asking because I’d love to do similar.

[@asphaltmessimer1384]

that's great , you found what is for you! I'm trying to think that way too. If something is meant to be, then it will be. Although it's hard to leave the closed doors closed, gotta move on so that doors that are meant for us will open : )

[@stinger4712]

New bf sounds like a doormat you would get tired of. Are you still with him?

[@Mihker]

Top 10 TED talk for sure

[@CoatRooneyy]

TED has one up for 2016; my personal favorite is the "Danger of AI"

[@SheaDepmore]

Mihker hear, hear.

[@Mihker]

SlayerUK no sorry, wish i had

[@yassinemachichi7074]

can you sare some them with us please ?

[@Scrubbzzy]

Not even close.

[@enshisin]

After her graduation ceremony at school, my daughter wanted to have a nice dinner at a famous restaurant. When we walked in, the waiter told us that the restaurant was fully book and asked us to come back the nextday and made a reservation first. We walked out of the door . Then I remembered something. I walked in again and asked the waiter while pointing at a reserved table : ‘when are the guests supposed to show up?’ In one hour. So i gave him an offer : if he can prepare the food in 15 minutes, we would dine and got out of there in 30 minutes. He thought for a minute and we had our dinner there. On the way out my wife asked me how I managed to do that. Without turning my head, I said : ‘I watched this stupid video by a guy named Jia on KZbin and gave it a shot...........’

[@orangeshoes]

:))) Made me happy

[@hvyi6425]

lol! only thing is that this isn’t a stupid video :D

[@seaweed6668]

Nice try mate

[@suetucker9264]

Only, it's NOT a stupid video! It works!

[@selenaramoutar7158]

Love this. Except your choice of the word "stupid". Cmon man this one "stupid" video got you and yo fam some fancy food at a fancy restaurant. :)

[@tyyoung6953]

Saw this video recently. I went down to a local bar and drank a couple of beers, then before leaving I asked to speak to the manager and I told him how much I liked the placed and asked if he could give me beer on the house... No joke he actually brought me a beer on the house! Thank you Jia Jiang for the burger refill idea, it may not work on burgers, but it certainly worked with beer.

[@partygirl5698]

Some of the fastest 15 minutes I've ever spent. Everything was so heartfelt, relatable, and real. This was amazing and exactly what I needed to see.

[@kylemedina5112]

Notes: - Don't run in the face of rejection, sit through and experience it. - Address any concerns the other person may have, and they will feel more comfortable with you. (ex: "Is that weird?")

[@MyNameisRevenant]

i wish somebody on my family would had told me that 5 years ago when i quit school for not being good enough, now im 25 without a career and my parents keep giving me the death stare for my lack of success in life.

[@cherry-hm2lr]

You know it's never too late to learn there's no certain age for learning you can start now And no worries, most don't work with their certificate, just learn something you love and have a field of work

[@sarabary4084]

@@cherry-hm2lr Agree

[@claudiaflores3944]

@@MyNameisRevenant Id recommend you to try to learn a new language and explore your interests, from there you might have a better idea of what youd like to do in life

[@willek1335]

@John Foley I tried taking Japanese once in school, but it didn't work out. It's said that you need to be in an environment where you need to use the language. Next time I should put myself in a Japanese community, but how?

[@samiaziz5050]

He seems so genuinely happy with his life now, teaching about rejection and social change. I rarely see that much fulfilment on someone's face, when he talked about the book and teaching near the end.

[@tonyswe9463]

Sami Aziz agree. He seems so genuinely happy with his life.

[@michellep1555]

his grandma is happy that he's finally a teacher after all :D

[@jonathancheng8906]

Last five minutes of the talk, i can't help thinking: "Did you ask TED to let you give a speech?"

[@Asdfghjkl-ls1or]

Lmao ur an acc genious

[@Whatupwolf]

Damn, Ted is a really cool guy if that's true

[@anandsh127]

Haahahaa gud one

[@CanisoGaming]

hahaha

[@NightOfCrystals]

Even if he did, he gave one, right?

[@727Joshy]

“When you get rejected in life , when you’re facing the next obstacle or failure , consider the possibilities - don’t run. If you just embrace them , they might become your gifts as well.” - Jia Jiang

[@stalincat2457]

I embraced the rejection and got the gift of a restraining order 👍

[@natsun9479]

"Sometimes you can even get rejected by lighting" LOOOL

[@ninetyfree5967]

Comfort is the enemy of achivement.

[@TheWelchProductions]

But it's not always bad to be comfortable.

[@TheWelchProductions]

unknown beauty I can still be comfortable and grow, so you’re wrong.

[@TheWelchProductions]

unknown beauty But what happens when you are in deep, COMFORTABLE sleep? Your body recharges, you regain energy, and you regrow the muscle you destroyed working out!

[@JorgeGonzalez-nz5pf]

Comfort is the enemy of achievement, so get comfortable in achieving things.

[@snowframe2995]

@@TheWelchProductions sleep is for the weak

[@davemckay4359]

Thought it was going to be boring. It wasn't.

[@PewPewFreedom]

This is one of my favorite TED talks of all time. The idea of fear of rejection maybe simple on the surface but it's a prevalent issue for many. I also read Jia's book and his insights gained from his rejection experiment are important lessons. My favorite two are most rejections are not personal and rejection is merely a numbers game. The book is a mix of scientific research and personal experiences.

[@Missbergdorf]

I've watched this so many times and still laugh, it never gets old. This is the TED Talk that turned my life around, and trust me when I say I've watched too many to count. For a few years now, I have "practiced" almost every day -even with really small attempts at getting rejected- and it really changed my life. Better career, better entourage, a loooot of money saved and opportunities created.. I feel so grateful that I once stumbled upon this video and encourage y'all to do the same !!

[@Adarrra13]

really? sounds interesting.. do you have some blog or just what were your rejection ideas?

[@MXxx-uc8bh]

Stllbn emm 🤔

[@TheMarioMen1]

Stllbn damn you’re stunning how are you even suffering from rejection? I’d never reject ya 😉

[@MeetMyGreenBud7]

@@TheMarioMen1 boy you need some water

[@at5286]

Stllbn girrrrl good for you! Cheers to the women who find their strength in this world! Now light the path for others, were all meant to learn and teach 🙏

[@fintamariaanna5858]

Props to the dude who immediately took a note of the rejection therapy website :)

[@himanshug9948]

You can tell he's been through some stuff :)

[@israellerefolo7613]

I immediately paused the video to make sure my brother saw that part

[@kulveersinghdhanoa]

LOL -

[@Wanderlust1972]

i got rejected from a job interview, but it helped me learn what i did wrong, i interrupted the interviewer. What a great lesson I learned from my rejection!

[@xshadowscreamx]

I made a huge mistake and forgetting to learn the history of the company; I was so worried about everything else I forget one of the basics.

[@tusharpardeshi2115]

One of the nicest and very engaging TEDx talks I've heard recently. The way he uses those anecdotes to drive home his point is absolutely brilliant. I'm positive that many people will find this talk helpful.

[@BeeVloggingComedy]

If a talk makes you stop what you are doing and focus on the speech its really unique. This is my favourite TED X talk !

[@trudy_triad]

It was super hilarious too

[@buenoweiboy6501]

True man, its hilarious and engaging at the same time

[@alexandraj582]

Everyone in life will experience some type of rejection. 'Rejection does not define you. The reaction after rejections defines you'. Great TED talk

[@NoGufff]

I think I speak for many subscribers when I say, "This is why we subscribed".

[@TheCollectiveMessenger]

This is the best lesson on rejection I’ve seen to date. He is right, when you google how to deal with it, there’s no real answers . I love how he gave examples of the onset of rejection and also, the aftermath after he questioned that said rejection . He really helped me today

[@LetsLearnwithvigneshnow]

Don't let rejections define you; Let your reaction towards a rejection define you; Wowwww. The best talk I have listened to. Thank you so much Jia.

[@Luftgitarrenprofi]

I have social anxiety, tried this and asked a girl I liked if she wants to go out with me. I ended up in the hospital due to severe hyperventilation and cardiac arrhythmias. My class is now making fun of me, calling me a psycho and the girl is one of them. Guess I should've started with something potentially less stressful.

[@alegnahench5514]

Feuerbringer awww dont give up😉

[@alegnahench5514]

Feuerbringer i will date u (in an uncreepy way)😂😂

[@mathew633man]

damn.... i thought i had it bad. it takes a lot for me to feel bad for someone and you did it. don't worry bro. i will always be here for you. i know you are a nice guy just misunderstood.

[@mathew633man]

damn.... i thought i had it bad. it takes a lot for me to feel bad for someone and you did it. don't worry bro. i will always be here for you.

[@keynesthetic2275]

Well...

[@novemtigris3041]

In Jia's letter, he also mentions winning a Nobel prize and buying IBM by the age of 35. Cool guy.

[@user-ll5vv7rv9p]

He looks like he still struggles a little with self confidence but in the end he still managed to show this incredible lesson and just watching it makes me inspirational. This guy rocks!

[@JohnDoeL337]

He gave a TED talk... man He s a step ahead most of us...

[@JW-qd3ol]

damn this guy really made a career out of being rejected. he needs to go talk to all the simps in the e-girls twitch chats.

[@RonaldYengwayo]

😂

[@RyukenXX]

now that's not a very healthy way to look at it

[@generalpurposetris]

Facts🤣

[@shyfairis6078]

Fr

[@benkleschinsky]

Anyone remember watching his KZbin channel back in the day?

[@LaWendeltreppe]

There is another important key to open hearts: fun. Because nearly all of the challenges you were choosing, Jia, have been fun, either for yourself or others, or both. People love to laugh and it's hard to reject s/o that makes you laugh.

[@tkomla]

Great point! Thanks for sharing 😊

[@LaWendeltreppe]

you're welcome :) @@tkomla

[@Taurai321]

If you only watch a small part of this video (watch the whole thing, it's gold), let it be 14:05 - 15:31. Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react.

[@huzefakaba3203]

this is one of the most helpful and necessary video for today's world, where we all are getting rejected in some or the other way. It teaches us that rejection activates the same area as physical pain in the brain and by getting rejected more, you make your system anti-fragile and come out to be stronger. This really changed my life. ❤️ 💯

[@beactivebehappy9894]

This is one of the most wholesome TED talks ever, like he's not been too preachy about it, at the same time there is a learning life lesson to take home!! 😅

[@kevinmalone3210]

Some of the incidents he mentioned were examples of overcoming his fears, achieving success, and turning the negatives into positives. Never would've thought what he asked of complete strangers were possible. This guy is an inspiration.

[@the135joker3]

That man started off weak but he grew some balls of steel

[@mr.kingsleigh1409]

Jia Jiang, your 6yr old's trauma is already dramatically impacting lives of all these commentors and viewers. Superb. Please DRIVE this message to the 8 billion of us who still desperately need this message, YOUR message. In that alone, a life worth having lived. Blessings and thank you.

[@AdventuresWithScott1]

This was very touching. I'm one of those guys with overwhelming insecurities and the only answer I've been able to find thus far was the "get over it" cop -out. With this kind of insight I might actually try something new. Thank you for sharing, Jia Jiang.

[@robertvandeneijk1284]

Me too. Strangely enough, I'm mostly afraid of my own judgement towards myself. Not living up to my own standards, etc. But this talk inspired me. Rejection can also be success if you make it your mission.

[@FxCKYEAHGUSTAVO]

you can do it bro!

[@tonikpun9955]

I love how the Doughnut lady took it as a challenge and actually came out with Olympic ring donuts.

[@HassanAhmed-rf9xr]

@johnnytheprick nope

[@irinam8709]

@johnnytheprick It REALLY is!

[@itskarl79]

I feel like I could cry. Imagine that, a grown man at 42 crying over a TED talk. I loved this message, and am so thankful for hearing it.

[@ycleped]

Half your age here and feeling the same...

[@JamFlexx]

emotions don't care what age you are

[@itskarl79]

@@JamFlexx Just saying, why couldn't I learn this sooner in life?

[@kevinz2738]

@@itskarl79 do you mean about being rejected, or emotions?

[@itskarl79]

@@kevinz2738 being afraid to ask, for fear of rejection.

[@ahmed_raaphat]

14:12 People who really change the world, who change the way we live, and the way we think, are the people who were met with initial and often violent rejections. They didn't let rejection define them. They let their own reactions after rejection define themselves. Wow!

[@IndrajitRajtilak]

In the face of rejection: DO NOT RUN 1. Ask why: people usually give you a way forward 2. Mention the doubt: "Is that weird"? - gains trust 3. Just ask: keep asking and you shall receive

[@Ikiratuki]

If you ask why and they say "no" it's a dead end. Of course there's no mention of how to get around a No. Unfortunately no is the only answer I get. So either I have to quit, brute force a yes, or ignore whoever is gate keeping. I agree that you shouldn't run. Running is for cowards. Cowards usually don't win and nobody likes them.

[@vegeta99rock]

@@Ikiratuki then Just Ignore It And Say Next .. I Usually Do This And I Most Of The Time Get Rejections. Jia Ling Rights Rejection Is A Gift !

[@IKamiZz]

if they say no too many times there's always heroin

[@TheTheoser]

@@IKamiZz lolol pls no

[@Mr.Honest247]

Indrajit Rajtilak Blah

[@KENZOkm]

"So grandma, how did you meet granddad?" "Well kid, he was very persistent. Like, VERY persistent."

[@domri4203]

So your grandfather was a "creep"

[@PlaguedByEarth]

@@domri4203 Only if he was ugly.

[@frustratedj]

He asked why, and boosted his chance.

[@JW-qd3ol]

@@PlaguedByEarth too real. go to logic jail. lol

[@jadebarnes2716]

@@PlaguedByEarth who wants an ugly partner ???

[@Rossilaz58]

"when I was 30" This man looks no older than 25

[@adamantium4797]

Youth has not rejected him

[@ventithedrunk9506]

Its an asian thing, for some reason we look young to westerns

[@redsus7569]

Except for women :/

[@zoch9797]

You're right. People suck at guessing age. "hE lOoKs So yOuNg". No, he looks like he's 33-36.

[@MyNameisRevenant]

@@ventithedrunk9506 I guess because western people dont take care of themselves too well. plus, asian people age in the proper way, at least most that i know.

[@tedpiano]

​​It’s one thing to celebrate your successes. It’s another thing entirely to push yourself outside of your comfort zone. Often that uncomfortable zone is where you find the most profound growth.

[@daniel_najar]

“Sometimes you get rejected by lighting” 😅

[@fatimabagayan8756]

that was the funniest part lmao

[@Director-M]

Is it rejecting when it zaps you or when it avoids zapping you? 🤣

[@beactivebehappy9894]

@@Director-M depends on the situation, if you want to be zapped and it doesn't or if you don't want to be zapped and it does...😅

[@mvah07]

This reminds me on my sales class that I was forced to take. He taught us to be authentic and persistent and grow a thick skin, to never take it personal. If we want to be successful we should not let rejection define us but motivate us to come back and try harder. Persistency is everything

[@at5286]

mvah07 the thing about sales is its annoying and pushy 🤦🏻‍♀️ theres so many products in this world and we certainly don’t need to have them all 😂

[@DSchae2165]

I'm 55 and I still struggle with my inner child's rejection issues. I could've been a famous writer by now. I could've been a great artist by now. I could've been someone of great importance changing the world by now. But no. I am not. Now my internal excuse is "I'm too old to start now", and I struggle with that every day when I still try to move forward to being what I want to be.

[@thejumpingnomad2485]

Time will pass no matter what we do. So in five years from now do you want to be a 60 year old still struggling or do you want to be the best 60 year old in the world at writing? Best wishes.

[@asmodeus1234]

embrace rejection, I just called a girl I assumed made up an excuse to end a date. Turns out that she really did have to deliver something, and now we're setting up another date in the near future!

[@JamFlexx]

D.K. as long as you are at peace with yourself, there is no need to be 'famous' or 'someone of great importance'. You are enough, & have every reason to be happy.

[@frankcrank6262]

@@JamFlexx I FULLY second this comment...by far one of the greatest replies I've read. In a world full of unreasonable expectations, so many people feel like failures because they weren't #1 at something, or the richest, or the skinniest, or the buffest, etc, etc. One of the biggest realizations is that everyone in this world is just trying to get through life. If we make it easier for others instead of looking out only for ourselves, then that is success, and that is a life well lived.

[@JamFlexx]

@@frankcrank6262 well said brother .

[@fosres]

Single-handedly one of the greatest KZbin videos I ever watched in my life.

[@Sharingan_FPS]

this is one of my all time favourite talks

[@orangeshoes]

This guy is single handedly changing lives. I have lost count of how may people I've showed this video to!

[@ritatownsend7408]

Rejection is the second biggest gift of his life. His absolutely charming personality is his biggest gift. What an enjoyable video.

[@Vishu21jan]

Facing back to back rejections in interviews since past two months. This video brough smile to my face. Not giving up!

[@bentonrp]

After this video, I asked a girl out and she said yes. I had to explain that I didn't really want to go out with her and that I was merely... Persuing rejection.

[@bullseye6969]

🤦

[@bentonrp]

@@bullseye6969 ^ and that's exactly what she did to my face

[@betiedu]

@@bentonrp lol are you for real?

[@bentonrp]

@@betiedu I didn't really do this. It was all a joke. After all, why would she say yes???

[@betiedu]

@@bentonrp Oh alright

[@nabeelhakeem3593]

My new motto in life is "Taking NO for an answer".

[@Gavriel-og6jv]

This guy is hilarious, just by the way he tells his story. We need more like him on KZbin.

[@preranaramu5634]

I never post a comment because I think there are so many comments already who would want to hear what I have to say, but today I chose to speak it might mean nothing to others but for me it makes a difference.

[@tarpee4045]

"Sometimes you get rejected by lightning" Man, this must have been how Zuko felt

[@Okwiiishadowrogue]

He said “lighting” but I get it

[@tusenbensen334]

It's weird that this would show up right now, I started a similar project just a week ago (not knowing about this person which om now very interested in). I have a really difficult time just talking to people for the sake of it, and I thought that is a massive roadblock in my life. So I made this game, where every school day on the bus home, I have to sit next to a stranger and just talk to them. It's terrifying, but I see myself getting less scared, so it might be working :)

[@yoXneo]

Tusenbensen cool! That's sorta what I'm doing too this year to face my social anxiety! Good luck! 👍

[@AM-sh7hb]

Tusenbensen Do many of them actually talk back? Good on ya for getting out of your comfort zone :)

[@PortalStorm4000]

If someone insults you, agree with them. Their reactions are funny, and you can make some good inside jokes. Because I'm drunk on oxygen.

[@adrianaavila8853]

That sounds amazing!!! I would love to know how it all works out.

[@tusenbensen334]

YoAntoNeo Thank you, and good luck with what you're doing Too ^-^

[@MrLuigiFercotti]

I never asked for anything, and had huge fear of rejection. Self reliant to a fault. But you can't do it all yourself.

[@aloooo1256]

Same here!

[@itskarl79]

Same EXACTY here

[@wrldtrvlr4vr]

Same. Being a lone wolf is hard sometimes

[@DK-ki2fh]

@@wrldtrvlr4vr Actually, being a lone wolf is literally all I have ever been and it's my safe space. Doing everything yourself due to lack of trust towards others actually has helped me. I know it doesn't work for everyone, but being a lone wolf is the most rewarding since you don't get assistance from people.

[@BboyBabyCAkes]

I loved this Ted Talk because of his experiment. I’ve rewatched this numerous times and I think I’m going to try to practice asking for things I actually want instead of purposefully asking for things i'm most likely to get rejected for like asking for a burger refill or planting a plant in someone’s back yard. If it’s context specific to something you actually want I feel you are more receptive to grow from these rejection experiences because you are practicing being authentic in what you desire.

[@SvetlanaTulasi]

Loved this story and the speech! Brilliant!

[@fixafix69]

Aren't the story and the speech the same thing here?

[@assirgossage5492]

Keep it to yourself

[@teenytinytoons]

@@fixafix69 a story happens within a speech, so no.

[@iforgot87872]

@@assirgossage5492 wtf seriously. It’s a comment section. You’re just a troll.

[@ToritoCopal]

so do you

[@PhotonBread]

I’m so glad I randomly click on this TedTalk. What a great speech

[@samcharles1166]

What spaceship is your profile picture?

[@allmightynimore9151]

This is one lively audiance. Some other audiance would have kept quit on all of his jokes.

[@JiaJiang]

allmightymhingo I've always wanted to do an eulogy.

[@OutRightYeti-FB]

Thats Portland for you

[@liamliu9745]

Just like TED audiance？

[@nannaed7833]

He’s hilarious tho for real

[@barryduffey5587]

Really great speech. He really uses humor to make his point, and I can really appreciate the hard work he put in to complete each task on his list of rejections. Well worth the watch.

[@christiansookdeo8306]

For all my sales people out there: “Rejection” doesn’t become rejection once you’ve gotten over that fear. It turns from an emotional reaction to a logical pathway to success. Finding the true root of the concern, nothing to do with you personally.

[@mcmugget]

WOW. this is possibly the best ted talk ive ever seen. it reflects myself in so many ways. absolutely beautiful

[@DrPrinpaed]

I always ignore TED talk videos but I'm glad I watched this one

[@lindseymaleeme1606]

This is easily been the most impactful Ted Video I've ever watched. Just what the doctor ordered. Thank you

[@_Crazyslots]

He seems like a really good person to be friends with.

i don’t remember exactly how many times i’ve watched this ted talk but it still inspires me and give me the power to overcome and deal with rejection in life as the very first time i saw it on KZbin. Tbh i’m just an English learner and consider Ted as an English learning source but this talk really does me wonders and motivate me to reach out to others alike videos. So appreciate for this guy’s humor and talent 👏

[@davearvelo]

Your English is pretty good! Congrats on coming this far on your learning journey. I'd love to know more languages besides just English, so it's nice to see someone else achieve proficiency at it

Thank you so much, your comment really made my day. As never in my life did I expect to be given such a wonderful thing from people I don't know. So now I can be more confident in my ability and keep moving forward on my learning journeys. I also hope that you will be successful in whatever paths you choose to follow.

[@davearvelo]

@ Thank you! 🙏

[@koxonutboy]

Not gonna lie I teared up a little bit at how encouraging this is. Wonderful talk!

[@elenbalyan3683]

The simple act of asking for what we want can open up possibilities we never imagined, and that rejection can actually lead us down unexpected paths. This talk is a great reminder that it's important to take risks and face our fears in order to grow and achieve our goals. Life is too short to be in constant fear of rejection. I agree that embracing rejection as a tool for self-improvement is necessary.

[@sj8948]

a very nice and inspiring talk. Nice to see TED returning to more informative and helpful talks instead of divisive politics.

[@msms47]

yah we should just pus h poltics under the rug ? its not like its important stuff or anything .

[@thomascameron2612]

Well I guess you could argue that this is the conservative side of the argument. Fear of rejection is what causes people in the left to change themselves in all sorts of bizarre ways.

[@purpleburps]

Naked Fat Guy both are as valuable that's what makes TED awesome :)

[@PsyQoBoy]

Wtf are people laughing? They either have a really meek sense of humor or it's like one of those fake comedy where the laugh is all staged.

[@TF2Gaming101]

Naked Fat Guy you should make a TED talk.

[@abdullahalmaruf4720]

After watching your ted talks, I've observed that i always accept my rejection and i don't change it. But now I've committed to decide that I'll embrace the rejection everyday, Focus that, learn from that and share this 1 person everyday

[@TachyBunker]

Got any further?

[@mieshiratakii2606]

that speech was amazing. 100 days of rejection. what a beautiful idea. "don't let rejections define you." and maybe if you give a shot, you might find something interesting. That is super amazing lesson. Thanks Jia.

[@k4piii]

I am not crying, you are... This came in such a perfect time after being rejected so many times now

[@hyopages]

Who's watching 2019 April? I'm Jay from South Korea. I had a fear of getting rejected and after watching your speech, I tried my own rejection thraphy. Though I did only for a week, I feel much confident now and just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story.

[@yaobinwen6127]

최재효 I watched it several years ago and just let it go by but today (2019-07-27) I’m re-watching it seriously.

[@maorazoulay]

Top 5 TED Talk without a doubt! truly amazing!

[@AsdAsd-lb7rm]

Maor Azoulay can you share me the rest Top 4?

[@rogerrabbit2902]

@@AsdAsd-lb7rm Mine is this, The Skill of Self Confidence & How To Achieve Your Most Ambitious Goals.. i hope i find more but these 3 are great :)

[@ovencake523]

Idk, James Veitch is an incredible Ted Talk

[@NO-tw1lf]

Life lesson: everyone is as terrified of disappointment as you are.... use it against them

[@meerakothari4683]

I have feared rejection all my life. I am 50 now. When I look back I think about how many friendships I have passed up on, how many opportunities I may have let go of, how much money I may not have made, how much growth I have missed out on.... Only because I have always run at the very first hint of rejection and many times even before it happened. I have rejected people due to my own warped perception of that person, assuming that they were rejecting me, even though they were really not doing anything of the sort. I have learned SO much from this brilliant talk. First of all - I WILL NOT RUN. I WILL ASK WHY. I WILL VOICE THEIR DOUBTS OR CONCERNS. I WILL ALWAYS ASK FOR WHAT I WANT, EVEN IF IT SEEMS UNUSUAL OR WEIRD, I WILL EMBRACE REJECTION AND LEARN FROM IT. Thank you SO SO SO much Jia Jiang for sharing your journey and your insightful life lessons with us. 🙏🙏🙏🤗🤗🤗 I am a better person and an upgraded version of myself from this moment on. 🎊💃⚡🎉