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The psychology of seduction | Raj Persaud | TEDxUniversityofBristol

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Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 2 100
@watchmanonthewall14
@watchmanonthewall14 6 жыл бұрын
Everyone wants to MEET the right person, but very few want to do the very hard work of BEING the right person.
@robertyancy5317
@robertyancy5317 5 жыл бұрын
Have u became the right person?
@Girlinmanhattan
@Girlinmanhattan 5 жыл бұрын
So true! Great TED talk. Thanks.
@benarfield6327
@benarfield6327 5 жыл бұрын
I think this is a horrible message. He is basically saying the way to make your relationship more successful is to lie constantly to your partner to make her more attracted to you. Here is better advice: Be yourself, and self reflect on your actions each day and decide and discuss with other ways you can change and develop for the better. Keep doing this and remain open and honest with people. Eventually you will find someone on a similar wave length. At least if things don't work out in the future you can have a healthy honest talk and move on. I wouldn't advise what Dr Persaud is saying as he is advising you create lies to keep your partner more interested in you. That is never going to be healthy and is why there are so many destructive and unhealthy relationships out there. Do you think you will be happy if you have to consistently lie to keep someone interested in you? No, therefore the relationship will self destruct. This guy is no relationship guru. He is a psychiatrist who has done one study with a multitude of flaws in it.
@noahhughes2501
@noahhughes2501 5 жыл бұрын
Are you trying to say that very few people are decent to their partners? That makes no sense to me at all
@benarfield6327
@benarfield6327 5 жыл бұрын
Hi Noah, depending on generation and definitions I would argue that most people make for very poor partners. We live in a world where the vast majority of people are stuck with addictions and self worry that makes it virtually impossible to be a good partner. Let alone a good parent!
@shubhamsehgal2336
@shubhamsehgal2336 4 жыл бұрын
My crush: How u doin? Me (trying to be seductive): No
@danielhance1467
@danielhance1467 4 жыл бұрын
me: farts nervously and blames the girl
@SelfAwareSaga
@SelfAwareSaga 4 жыл бұрын
JAIL
@sameekshasharma2952
@sameekshasharma2952 4 жыл бұрын
Lol
@anat8972
@anat8972 4 жыл бұрын
LMAOO
@Ss-hn5rf
@Ss-hn5rf 4 жыл бұрын
@@danielhance1467 So do you treat all of your girls like dogs sir?
@megajiem
@megajiem 5 жыл бұрын
"Don´t change a thing, you´re perfect as you are, and my job is to help the world to recognise the perfection that I see".
@Neith2000
@Neith2000 4 жыл бұрын
exacto pero eso no se dice
@WilliamPoehner
@WilliamPoehner 4 жыл бұрын
I love this!
@Hakz379
@Hakz379 Жыл бұрын
@desireeccbeing perfect is a subjectively objective anomaly.
@alexandraalmanzar570
@alexandraalmanzar570 Жыл бұрын
I got shivers with that one - my man did that
@SpiritualPlayboy69
@SpiritualPlayboy69 Ай бұрын
That stage comes after improving yourself
@jilk.7655
@jilk.7655 4 жыл бұрын
imagine being excited for finally getting invited to a date and then it turns out that you’re just a social experiment
@ChromaChamaeleon
@ChromaChamaeleon 4 жыл бұрын
Ppl get excited for dates? Omg dating is the worst. I wish I could skip all that, go from friends straight into a great relationship. If you ask me, science is wayy more fun than any first date!!
@jilk.7655
@jilk.7655 4 жыл бұрын
Yellow Ninja if i like the guy i am excited, otherwise not :)
@62charles4
@62charles4 4 жыл бұрын
That sounds kind of insulting. I think we all want to be wanted for what we uniquely possess inside.
@manuelarredondo6481
@manuelarredondo6481 4 жыл бұрын
Imagine finding the person YEARS ago.. but dating as a way to fill the void until somehow you two meet up again and she realizes you're BOTH ready to nurture eachother
@emilysnyder1092
@emilysnyder1092 4 жыл бұрын
story of my life
@deadwaffleshop8574
@deadwaffleshop8574 Жыл бұрын
Bro rizzed up the whole audience
@assianeu197
@assianeu197 7 жыл бұрын
Insane charisma. Sound like he was reading on a promptor, so well prepared and competent! I wish i could do speech like this
@basiliskmetal
@basiliskmetal 6 жыл бұрын
ive read that there is a promptor in the back of the audience, set to everyone that is in the stage talking.
@ust7243
@ust7243 6 жыл бұрын
You can learn
@angiec3854
@angiec3854 6 жыл бұрын
Neu bornchild q
@ysfbomba
@ysfbomba 6 жыл бұрын
me too
@NoName-wc4qr
@NoName-wc4qr 5 жыл бұрын
@Jose Gomez-Hernandez impressive
@ej4672
@ej4672 5 жыл бұрын
Tips for Seduction 1. Based on social psychology experiment, being disagreeable then switching halfway through to being agreeable makes you more attractive to the other person. An artificial "warm up" is created 2. Attention, interest, and maintenance. Different skills are necessary for each phase. Attention being am initial spark, interest being a focus on short term charms, and maintenance being long term commitment and patience. 3. Appealing to bolster their weaknesses into strengths. Finding an unmet need, and fulfilling it.
@Corvid
@Corvid 5 жыл бұрын
Tip to end all tips... Do all of those for yourself, ON yourself first. A whole, rounded person who bolsters, interests and attracts themselves, AKA loving you... no longer needs to spend time on themselves, and has all the love in the world to give. Funnily enough, that makes people irresistably attractive. Not to bring down the tone, but when you can have basically anyone you want, you'd better hope there's someone out there who's worth loving. When you value yourself, suddenly you're back to square one. And so life contuniues... you don't complete life, and if you do, you either haven't, or the dissapointment you'll feel will ruin you. Woop woop!
@ayakamoon7201
@ayakamoon7201 5 жыл бұрын
Amen!!
@bltotrs92
@bltotrs92 4 жыл бұрын
@@Corvid true! Too many people forget about selflove and selfcare
@sarahthomas2922
@sarahthomas2922 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the summary.
@benarfield6327
@benarfield6327 3 жыл бұрын
what is the social psychology experiment? can you leave a pink with a pdf?
@speaking8206
@speaking8206 8 жыл бұрын
"Fill the unmet need." Wonderful, what a wise statement!
@superdarkmario2
@superdarkmario2 8 жыл бұрын
If someone dumps you because he has to feel powerful you're probably better off without him
@benedictcooper3131
@benedictcooper3131 7 жыл бұрын
Speaking I
@TailsOfDarkness
@TailsOfDarkness 7 жыл бұрын
When you're constantly anxious, you know, who is not the unmet need. ;u;
@MrLoreleal
@MrLoreleal 7 жыл бұрын
Porque no traducen esta charla TED al castellano
@larrygolad
@larrygolad 6 жыл бұрын
I did it with a girl i was in love with. Since then, she doesn't speak to me anymore.
@HilaireJoie
@HilaireJoie Жыл бұрын
That was one of the most eloquent speeches Ive ever heard. No pauses no uhms and ahs. Amazing.
@faolair3320
@faolair3320 5 жыл бұрын
"Life is a seduction game" I'm doomed.
@reality3289
@reality3289 4 жыл бұрын
enroll for free lessons with me...am good.
@blackkyurem720
@blackkyurem720 4 жыл бұрын
Cliffhangers
@carvaiio
@carvaiio 4 жыл бұрын
No. It's precisely the myth he was trying to dispel. Anyone can play the game and anyone can master it. In fact we all do, ALL the time, even if we don't notice it. You included.
@atata2512
@atata2512 3 жыл бұрын
@@carvaiio If everyone can master it that mean everyone is competence and you need to be remastering everytime. I'd prefer the Middle Aged game of life with arrows and swords.
@oscarsandoval7775
@oscarsandoval7775 6 ай бұрын
With that mentality, for sure!
@ashleyanderson1098
@ashleyanderson1098 6 жыл бұрын
he needs to do audio books
@prateekdatta
@prateekdatta 6 жыл бұрын
Ashley Anderson if
@athomas2k8
@athomas2k8 5 жыл бұрын
@@prateekdatta if
@lovejademonet
@lovejademonet 5 жыл бұрын
for real
@jacktheconqueror3670
@jacktheconqueror3670 5 жыл бұрын
His voice.
@Luetlife
@Luetlife 5 жыл бұрын
On spotify
@juliustissus
@juliustissus 3 жыл бұрын
"The problem with the modern world, tinder and aps is that we are losing our skills of seduction." Love it! With the hook up culture we just forgets that seduction takes time.
@jamesnguyen_1
@jamesnguyen_1 3 жыл бұрын
Speak for urself i got this
@alexanderwindh4830
@alexanderwindh4830 2 жыл бұрын
Hookup culture ruins relationships. No self valuing or bonding
@franklinbruce7121
@franklinbruce7121 Ай бұрын
The SKILL most people are loosing is person to person COMMUNICATION !!!!!! After that has been established …… The SEDUCTION part gets easier and easier …..
@andrewdomenitzdmd
@andrewdomenitzdmd 7 жыл бұрын
Filling the unmet need is the key to being a salesman.
@Antares8491
@Antares8491 6 жыл бұрын
+andrew domenitz >> " _Filling the unmet need is the key to being a salesman._ "
@Robzabest25
@Robzabest25 6 жыл бұрын
the salesman will sell you something you already have
@LiliumPetal
@LiliumPetal 6 жыл бұрын
Robzabest25 Exactly. I feel like salesmen invent a need and then fill it for you. An example, mouthwash. The term "halitosis" was coined by the company Listerine, and that same company just happens to sell mouthwash? I don't think so.
@Antares8491
@Antares8491 6 жыл бұрын
+Lilium >> " _The term "halitosis" was coined by the company Listerine, ... etc._ "
@Antares8491
@Antares8491 6 жыл бұрын
+Robzabest25 >> " _the salesman will sell you something you already have_ "
@marnikinrys
@marnikinrys 5 жыл бұрын
LOVE LOVE LOVE this. Just had a client send this to me and I could not agree more with your message about Casanova. Women and people in general want to be seen for who they ARE not who they could be with little fixes. Totally seductive and true. Great job
@forrealforreal588
@forrealforreal588 4 жыл бұрын
Lol that applies to men far more as our value is often tied to our career or potential, letting a man know you love who he is and not who he could be is definitely filling a need many neglect
@crimson6172
@crimson6172 4 жыл бұрын
@@forrealforreal588 Very true. And it's also very easy to do as well. All the girl have to do is just... accept him as he is. She doesn't even need to learn any difficult craft or put a great deal of effort on anything to woo him over. All that needs to be done is just take him right away. Easy.
@phungduykhiem3794
@phungduykhiem3794 4 жыл бұрын
Real talk...99% of the dating population in this world don't even know what they want...
@kevinabrar6444
@kevinabrar6444 4 жыл бұрын
Interesting
@Beatriz-hs8eu
@Beatriz-hs8eu 3 жыл бұрын
@@forrealforreal588 she literally said "women and people in general" and yet you had to come here in the comments to whine. You're annoying, that's the reason women don't like who you are.
@guysmith1856
@guysmith1856 3 жыл бұрын
Robert Greene's book "Art of Seduction" took me to another level in communication
@xPurity
@xPurity 8 жыл бұрын
Reminds me of why people like people who 'play hard to get', it's because being able to see that change/impact that happens is seductive... when that person finally 'warms up'
@theslyguy9723
@theslyguy9723 7 жыл бұрын
this is true
@viktorlindqvist5308
@viktorlindqvist5308 6 жыл бұрын
I think the problem lays in them doing it for too long
@florinacuc-telcean9408
@florinacuc-telcean9408 6 жыл бұрын
You mean the "surprise effect" is because of the play/game "hard to get 3?" 🙂
@lmvdam
@lmvdam 5 жыл бұрын
Mandy people always want what they cant have
@devilsadvocate9011
@devilsadvocate9011 5 жыл бұрын
Lisa van Dam yes. Humans desire the UNATTAINABLE
@allieante1363
@allieante1363 7 жыл бұрын
What an ending! (Spoiler alert!) "I apologize I've run out of time so I won't be able to answer those questions. But, is it possible that leaving you, wanting more is kind of a seduction?" Great ending!
@1cor.13love4
@1cor.13love4 7 жыл бұрын
Allen Ante I AGREE!!!
@ceciliaglencross6393
@ceciliaglencross6393 6 жыл бұрын
Allen Ante @
@sadamkhamis9248
@sadamkhamis9248 6 жыл бұрын
wants you to go to his clinic
@NoName-wc4qr
@NoName-wc4qr 5 жыл бұрын
hello
@bltotrs92
@bltotrs92 4 жыл бұрын
I was waiting for some Mindplay like this and havent been disappointed
@jcool291
@jcool291 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks EJ for the summary. Below is your summary with timestamps Tips for Seduction 1. 5:56 Based on social psychology experiment, being disagreeable then switching halfway through to being agreeable makes you more attractive to the other person. An artificial "warm up" is created 2. 9:09 Attention, interest, and maintenance. Different skills are necessary for each phase. Attention being am initial spark, interest being a focus on short term charms, and maintenance being long term commitment and patience. 3. 10:55 Appealing to bolster their weaknesses into strengths. Finding an unmet need, and fulfilling it.
@vinithvikram7108
@vinithvikram7108 3 жыл бұрын
You are a hero for doing this
@EllePlowPlow
@EllePlowPlow 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you!!
@Alaaallis
@Alaaallis 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks
@MJ-eo1bw
@MJ-eo1bw 5 жыл бұрын
"dr. persaud, i don't need prozac... i need a boyfriend!" i'm feeling attacked
@xuanmauge9322
@xuanmauge9322 4 жыл бұрын
I read this the same time he said it in the video
@Riturajupadhyay
@Riturajupadhyay 4 жыл бұрын
I need a GF . Mail me..
@songsofthecentury3909
@songsofthecentury3909 4 жыл бұрын
or a BF who can prescribe Prozac. Fluoxetine is no longer the first choice in the UK, it's sertraline. Prozac is very long-acting and takes 5 weeks to clear from the system.
@singularityraptor4022
@singularityraptor4022 4 жыл бұрын
@@songsofthecentury3909 Damn, you ok there?
@Donna777
@Donna777 3 жыл бұрын
@@songsofthecentury3909 Prozac's main ingredient FLUORIDE. Look it up. It also damages teeth and bones, as well as the brain.
@stephaniemedina2011
@stephaniemedina2011 6 жыл бұрын
He made absolute sense to me. His delivery was impeccable, understandable and relatable. No speech impediment or play but how easily that can translate to modern day emotional or even physical needs that need to be met and filled more then ever... yes 👏🏼👏🏼 wonderful hope he makes more videos.
@slowcountryboy476
@slowcountryboy476 8 жыл бұрын
The speaker states at the end, "...isn't it possible that leaving you wanting more is kind of a seduction?" So I'm guessing you have to go to his clinic to get more...
@bimetsherojne233
@bimetsherojne233 7 жыл бұрын
or you can buy his books, or you can buy other books. all this opportinities
@jennifernnacheta1336
@jennifernnacheta1336 7 жыл бұрын
Ruben Martinez yesssssss!!!! That's seduction in action.
@CellGames2006
@CellGames2006 6 жыл бұрын
He's just baiting for clicks. That's why I disliked.
@ahmidahmid9303
@ahmidahmid9303 6 жыл бұрын
Sales man tactic
@peterhughes8782
@peterhughes8782 6 жыл бұрын
Pm
@mimingcat9219
@mimingcat9219 6 жыл бұрын
I met a girl, found out she needed another guy, I then focused all my efforts to help her get that guy. And she did. Am I doing this right?
@fatimakaye6521
@fatimakaye6521 6 жыл бұрын
Miming Cat XD
@natalielaxsonl.1514
@natalielaxsonl.1514 6 жыл бұрын
Miming Cat HAHAHA! Hilarious
@iustinaidu3236
@iustinaidu3236 6 жыл бұрын
this is one of the coolest examples. I m still laughing :)
@hitty9
@hitty9 6 жыл бұрын
Indeed for sure! She will marry him and have affairs with you.
@Suseelkumar5
@Suseelkumar5 6 жыл бұрын
hitty9 seems like a win win situation 😁😁🤣
@zain9e63
@zain9e63 18 күн бұрын
Never searched for this video. But, randomly got it in feed in December.
@myname2385
@myname2385 Жыл бұрын
1. First disagree than agree -other person will think they have an impact on you and that you've warmed up 2. Attention, interest, maintenance 3. Fill the unmed need -in a way it's never been filled before
@ela5117
@ela5117 Ай бұрын
This is a great talk, for the first time I feel like someone in the field of seduction is giving unique advice, advice that I haven’t heard or read before
@Thortchello
@Thortchello 6 жыл бұрын
For me it was very powerful " you can choose to don't play the game but just be aware everyone else is doing" . So this is it. You may refuse to follow the patterns but they will always be there no matter what ! very wise!!! loved it and made a lot of notes
@argydubbaya
@argydubbaya 4 жыл бұрын
Dr. Raj Persaud, Amazing orator, not a single em or er in the whole speach, and so knowledgeable, a little humour. He seduced the audience.
@craigsviewingchannel4088
@craigsviewingchannel4088 2 жыл бұрын
As i read this comment at @6:00 he goes loudly “umm” 😂😂😂
@guitarsoundsaround
@guitarsoundsaround 6 ай бұрын
It was a really great speech!
@puchu9507
@puchu9507 5 жыл бұрын
I am not very fond of these TED talks but this guy's speaking skills are beyond anyone I have ever seen. Taught me how to talk.
@joeyahmadieh6210
@joeyahmadieh6210 5 жыл бұрын
This man is my favorite ted speaker so far. The way he was able to convey such a complex message into a very simple idea, waw! Recently I’ve noticed With ted talks that they grab you by the title, and once you watch it, it’s a pointless talk. However this guy, really got into details and was able to clearly say his message. Waw I’m impressed
4 жыл бұрын
He seduced you. Lol.
@millerquinta6064
@millerquinta6064 4 жыл бұрын
@ hahahahah right on the spot
@morri4415
@morri4415 4 жыл бұрын
the way he used the concept to lure us to how he will talk about seduction is sooo smooth
@Ethan-qd1lb
@Ethan-qd1lb 6 жыл бұрын
BRUH! this man is dripping with swag, his prose flames all other ted talks.
@fangirlfortheages5940
@fangirlfortheages5940 7 жыл бұрын
This guys is an amazing speakers. He's so eloquent
@bellachance1206
@bellachance1206 7 жыл бұрын
+SEBp mtl Lol
@ZymaXP
@ZymaXP 6 жыл бұрын
Maybe you were seduced? I found the beginning of his speech was only weakly connecting with the audience. I can't argue that he has an eloquent way about him though. It might be easier to speak about things when you know people are eating out of your hand. Find topics people struggle with (an unmet need), hook, line, and sinker. (A.K.A. - The format of the best Ted talks. "Ideas worth talking about.")
@daniellamoreno3616
@daniellamoreno3616 5 жыл бұрын
Yes very good speaking voice...
@satguy27
@satguy27 6 жыл бұрын
I really like this guy, how he goes about seduction and separates the erotic side from the psychological part. Many people think automatically of seduction being erotic which if that's all your focused on, you're just screwing yourself and setting yourself up for failure. But by following his suit, it goes into the proper way to do it, very great episode!
@guitarsoundsaround
@guitarsoundsaround Ай бұрын
The psychological seduction is the highest form of eroticism, and deeply captivating internally.
@madelainekane760
@madelainekane760 Жыл бұрын
Not only is his voice very soothing to me, but the points that he makes about the play that lacks words with the letter r in it are very deep and true.
@anitapg75
@anitapg75 5 жыл бұрын
his eloquence was amazing and catching, plus the humour was just at the right time. what an amazing talk!
@klueboy13
@klueboy13 8 жыл бұрын
That delivery was smooth. Bang on with the "unmet needs"
@sharedivinelove
@sharedivinelove 8 жыл бұрын
Superb Doctor . What an eloquent lecture and delivered with wit and yet full of critical information. Thanks
@TheresaBuccola
@TheresaBuccola 6 жыл бұрын
Wow. This is brilliant. This guy is brilliant. I've listened to quite a few lectures and talks on this ancient art, and most of the time, I'm bored to tears. Bringing us home to the old school, Raj. thank you.
@markvincentalino287
@markvincentalino287 3 жыл бұрын
When he started spewing up the word "Macchiavellian" I literally got chills.
@PMF2022
@PMF2022 6 жыл бұрын
My God he's brilliant. That's exactly how my husband seduced me ; he found my unmet needs and fill them better than anyone ever before. Thank you for this terrific presentation.
@naimasophie
@naimasophie 8 ай бұрын
How did he find it?
@saadhasib9653
@saadhasib9653 6 жыл бұрын
Possibly the best speaker I've seen on TEDx till date. Bravo!
@audreygrant95
@audreygrant95 6 жыл бұрын
That is exactly how 20 years ago my future husband seduced me! He saw my need and met it! I came home from work to find the first thing he ever gave me sitting in my living room, He had bought me a washing machine!!! Mine was broken and I was washing by hand for three people after work every day. (One was a three year old, lots of laundry! And my room mate who was sick.)We just celebrated our 19th Anniversary!
@Antares8491
@Antares8491 6 жыл бұрын
+Audrey Grant >> " _That is exactly how 20 years ago my future husband seduced me!_ "
@sudocatsda1guy390
@sudocatsda1guy390 6 жыл бұрын
Does the machine still work?
@murarikaushik33
@murarikaushik33 6 жыл бұрын
Funny that, I bought mine a broomstick, brush, pan and apron. Didn't go down too well. Any singles out there? I'm in the market.
@hobthatnob
@hobthatnob 6 жыл бұрын
he broke into your house with a washer machine and you married him?
@narcisochavez9392
@narcisochavez9392 6 жыл бұрын
That kinda sounds like he just paid for speech therapy classes
@richz.warren7706
@richz.warren7706 6 жыл бұрын
Brilliant - I read the title and immediately thought “TED wouldn’t ask a “pick-up-artist to speak... would they?” I had to find out for myself. The final point “Find The Un-Met Need” is something that I think is profoundly important in our society today and if everyone took this on as their mantra, altruistically or not, the world would be a better place.
@kellychannali4042
@kellychannali4042 3 жыл бұрын
Can you do a TedTalk on how to let the words flow so well in a speech. One of the best TedTalks I've seen!
@ebythebeach
@ebythebeach Жыл бұрын
Great quote..."you need to figure what the world wants in order for you to get what you want....and you need to give it FIRST"...so true and misunderstood. We are owed NOTHING!
@papoutsothiki
@papoutsothiki 6 жыл бұрын
I guess in order for seduction to be good (and ethical) it must be genuine and kind or else it's nothing more than a meaningless game.
@hermiliocarvalhojr.7208
@hermiliocarvalhojr.7208 6 жыл бұрын
Absolutely spot on.
@richardtaylor3471
@richardtaylor3471 6 жыл бұрын
google zahavian signalling (signalling theory). One of the reasons the woman was attracted to Casanova was because he performed a costly signal (spending days to thoughtfully write a play with no R's), demonstrating true intent of his attraction.
@bjornflokison7443
@bjornflokison7443 5 жыл бұрын
but it is meaningless. we are all born and driven by the underlying need to spread our seeds so that our species will have better odds in natural selection.
@BlueTressym
@BlueTressym 5 жыл бұрын
@@bjornflokison7443that's true but we aren't ONLY driven by that. Life has the meaning you give it. Also, we have have a choice as to who we're going to procreate with, so making yourself seem a more attractive prospect is how you get to be the one whose genes get passed on. Animals have courtship rituals. Furthermore, if you want to improve the odds of passing on your genes, you need to show that you are the kind of person who is going to be a good long-term bet, given the human gestation and life cycle length. Appealing in the moment isn't enough.
@matthewsisti4382
@matthewsisti4382 5 жыл бұрын
@@bjornflokison7443 I always found that statement to be an empty view of the world. I look at mating as a chance to find an awesome partner to spend your life with and have a loving house where you and your wife are more likely to have happy children. If you believe in an afterlife, that also sets the stage for those people to be more likely to go to Heaven too.
@anewloveofficial9137
@anewloveofficial9137 6 жыл бұрын
That was very deep but I agree with him, if you want something whether it's about someone you like or material things that you want to achieve in life, you really have to give first or make an offer before it is given to you and that's how seduction works, it really works like magic.
@sleepyd1231
@sleepyd1231 7 жыл бұрын
I just want to meet someone who acknowledges that this is how the majority of society operates, and breaks that cycle. It seems to be such an obviously futile method of obtaining happiness, and if we can step past this would achieve something much more valuable.
@hermiliocarvalhojr.7208
@hermiliocarvalhojr.7208 6 жыл бұрын
Is it? Wanting people to pay attention to us, to be of a valuable presence, to help us is an eternal desire. Seduction simply builds on that.
@yvesgomes
@yvesgomes 6 жыл бұрын
I agree. I haven't much patience for it. But it can be a long wait. I only met someone like that at 23 (10 years ago, my wife). Before that, it was only casual stuff, because I had no interest in the game.
@crimson6172
@crimson6172 5 жыл бұрын
Dylan Ost I understand that "the cycle" can be exhausting to partake in, but even if you manage to break "the cycle", have you got anything else to replace it with that will actually work???
@hopedean6424
@hopedean6424 5 жыл бұрын
@@crimson6172 Am genuinely curious about that too
@wondrinfree
@wondrinfree 5 жыл бұрын
Is being attentive and putting value on people such a bad model? Every single transaction and interaction can be viewed cynically, but to what end? It seems that your unmet need is authenticity. You will find the 'one' when you meet someone who can give this. But you will also need to meet their unmet needs too. Is that so unreasonable?
@EIGHT88888
@EIGHT88888 5 жыл бұрын
Attention, interest, maintenance Discovering the unmet need Filling the unmet need ... He got my attention via the title, he peaked my interest via giving me value, and now I DESIRE to know HOW thus making him the source. He will in a sense teach me how to maintain my ability to be successfully seductive.
@TheRaissarenee
@TheRaissarenee 4 жыл бұрын
One of the best teds I’ve watched. The way he ended with a form of seduction was brilliant!😍🥰🔥
@ajhapersaud1577
@ajhapersaud1577 8 жыл бұрын
I watched this because my name is almost the same as this man.
@RobRafiele
@RobRafiele 7 жыл бұрын
lol
@DiggnDeepr
@DiggnDeepr 6 жыл бұрын
Congratulations.
@greywolf5073
@greywolf5073 6 жыл бұрын
so it makes you more seductive automatically :)
@parallelbrat
@parallelbrat 6 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@hitty9
@hitty9 6 жыл бұрын
You should give a talk on honesty!
@KindaLikeWater
@KindaLikeWater 6 жыл бұрын
Eloquent and polished presenter! The only problem is that I feel like I learned very little from him. The content of his talk reminds me of high school papers in which the students write the same information in several different ways, in order to meet the page count requirement.
@iAmNothingness
@iAmNothingness 4 жыл бұрын
i realy need to do something else but i can't leave because of his voice and how he's speaking.
@alliccat5482
@alliccat5482 Ай бұрын
I think it's gotta be that British V🇬🇧 ice 😹 I swear it has a hypnotizing effect on me.. lol So much so that I changed my gps to "The British V👄ice" I wish I was british 😹
@johnedmondson531
@johnedmondson531 5 жыл бұрын
Happiness is our state of mindset. We can choose to be happy even when things are wrong, that's what called "HOPE"
@balsamkhalaf5498
@balsamkhalaf5498 6 жыл бұрын
Much (if not all) of what he's saying is actually great advice to marketers. Brilliant talk!
@eddyLama
@eddyLama 8 жыл бұрын
very intelligent and amazing speech.
@shadowboxing7029
@shadowboxing7029 5 жыл бұрын
Basically isn't (for most people) being accepted the greatest need we have? Cassanova's move does just that, he accepts her despite a flaw she sees in herself. Someone accepting you regardless of your faults is one of the best feelings there is.
@huyvuquang2041
@huyvuquang2041 6 жыл бұрын
So in conclusion, we have 2 key points here: 1. About the experience of "half-day of rejection & half-day of agreement", it says that if you express like they have made an impact on you, then you get a bonus point! 2. About the story of the play with no word "R", it says that if you can figure out and satisfy their unmet needs (also let them see that they're perfect as the way they are), then you get another bonus point. Am I missing anything? By the way, this is a wonderful clip. Thanks TedTalk
@_monomorph_1411
@_monomorph_1411 5 жыл бұрын
Huy Vũ Quang I think also one thing you missed was his point about the play vs the gas station flowers. Your goal is to make them feel special- set apart from the others. Casanova’s expression of admiration was much more impactful because he met her need is a PERSONALIZED way. He put in obvious effort all for her and ONLY her. Like he said, he’s not running around writing complex plays for just anyone. You can buy anyone a $15 bouquet without much thought or effort on your part, which tells that person they aren’t worth that enough to you. Not saying flowers aren’t lovely to receive as a loving gesture, but it can’t be your grand gesture of admiration like he’s talking about here.
@superhappysozo
@superhappysozo 5 жыл бұрын
Fantastic delivery - great points. Our technology is from a 'me first' perspective. Raj makes it clear that is what's keeping us alone.
@3301-w5d
@3301-w5d Жыл бұрын
Truly an incredible speech. You learn a lot, while you are moved by the message. pretty perfect speech!
@GG-rw8cz
@GG-rw8cz 8 жыл бұрын
awesome, he's a class speaker, well-paced, very intelligent and his voice is so soothing lol. I'm seduced :)
@stanleydog1454
@stanleydog1454 6 жыл бұрын
What this dude had to say was very interesting, but more importantly, I want this man to narrate every book that I read in the future.
@kennethcarvalho3684
@kennethcarvalho3684 4 жыл бұрын
So much energy so much eloquence but a message that could be given in a minute
@BrookieSmallz
@BrookieSmallz 5 жыл бұрын
That was one of the best speeches I’ve ever heard
@lamionifade
@lamionifade 4 жыл бұрын
Drinking game: Everytime he says "my clinic", take a shot
@zeynepaykutatalay
@zeynepaykutatalay 4 жыл бұрын
Fill the unmet need in a way it's never been filled before ! Perfect speech, thank you!
@Pilky_Round_Head
@Pilky_Round_Head 5 жыл бұрын
Hate it when people say it doesnt really matter about looks, I don't care how moral people think they are, it is basic human instinct to respond positively to things you like, and first impressions are 100% on looks, every day interactions are full of these first impressions and no meaningful growth can happen till after them. I lost 130 lbs and the difference in how people perceive me is staggering.
@majorclementine1412
@majorclementine1412 5 жыл бұрын
He never said looks didn't matter, he just said anybody can be more seductive than they already are
@Pilky_Round_Head
@Pilky_Round_Head 5 жыл бұрын
@@majorclementine1412 Good point, my comment was quite premature.
@majorclementine1412
@majorclementine1412 5 жыл бұрын
@@Pilky_Round_Head Careful with that lol
@jazzmonblazz
@jazzmonblazz 8 жыл бұрын
A brilliant ted talk truly ! Thank you doctor Persaud !
@nickidaisyreddwoodd5837
@nickidaisyreddwoodd5837 5 жыл бұрын
Feeling compassion will solve all problems world wide.
@JamilaMusayeva
@JamilaMusayeva 25 күн бұрын
What a Ted Talk! Bravo!
@avinandandey6418
@avinandandey6418 6 жыл бұрын
*sijuicing*
@dianeaishamonday9125
@dianeaishamonday9125 5 жыл бұрын
That Estuary accent coming through 😍
@mysticfalcon8844
@mysticfalcon8844 4 жыл бұрын
Lol
@seafoam6119
@seafoam6119 4 жыл бұрын
sijuice me!
@pickme7307
@pickme7307 4 жыл бұрын
sejuice**
@amosmwangi1741
@amosmwangi1741 4 жыл бұрын
you must have been the best deskmate
@danielmoore4024
@danielmoore4024 3 жыл бұрын
I always live as my authentic self no matter where I am, who I'm with and this has even developed into a theory of my own. First thing to know is I'm Autistic, there's just as many good things about Autism as there is difficult. One of the good things is those of us Autistic are not so tied to social expectations, that we will not sacrifice our values for the sake of social acceptance. I've listened to lots of Autistic people and have developed the theory that authenticity is an unrecognised characteristic of Autism.
@jackie5046
@jackie5046 5 жыл бұрын
This is so brilliant I love this TED Talk and it translates to every relationship in your life and most definitely explains the bond that I have formed with my mate without realizing it I discovered and fulfilled his most basic unmet need.
@santubanik633
@santubanik633 Жыл бұрын
One of the greatest Ted lectures..
@drbangtan8392
@drbangtan8392 2 жыл бұрын
I feel like he just explained the definition of 'I don't chase, I attract.'
@hayaapardasani1755
@hayaapardasani1755 2 жыл бұрын
This guy is an absolute genius. Leaving us at a cliffhanger like that at the end! 😂
@phahlamakoko5542
@phahlamakoko5542 Жыл бұрын
One of the best lectures. I SWEAR A TEAR ALMOST AROUSED. This is man knows The Real Game🔥🔥🔥
@funishereforall4588
@funishereforall4588 6 жыл бұрын
He was right. It is very complicated, now I see I don't have any hope. He just left us in the middle of the air falling down.
@LILY-ht8hv
@LILY-ht8hv Ай бұрын
i love how timeless their videos are
@abdolhamedsharef2924
@abdolhamedsharef2924 3 жыл бұрын
"Is it possible leaving you wanting more kind of a seduction?" hats off
@Jake-oo5gy
@Jake-oo5gy 6 жыл бұрын
This video literally made my day. Wow. Pure. Genius.
@edi9892
@edi9892 5 жыл бұрын
To be serious: if you do everything she wants, you are selling yourself under your value. People don´t like men without integrity and own opinion. Sure, having too much opinion isn´t good either, but that´s beyond the point. It´s like a song: you want patterns and repeats, but it shouldn´t get boring. Playing hard to get, can inspire a challenge, but only if the other person is already interested. Also, people want to feel special, but that clashes with their desire to belong to a group and be understood. A beautiful woman won´t feel flattered by compliments on her beauty. She knows that already and she is used to fend off a lot of creeps because of it. I was once oblivious to the fact that someone was not just a model and singer, but a local celebrity. I just talked to her because we were both bored and soon enough I knew things about her, that should remain private. If you call a mediocre looking woman beautiful, she won´t believe you most of the time. Details matter. State, what you like, e.g. the way she dresses, how the colors match perfectly etc. Complimenting someone about style, or a skill they have worked hard for counts so much more than complimenting on having won the genetic lottery... Also, pointing out the value in an underappreciated task can be very well received too. For instance, having to work on Sunday for little pay sucks, but people like this keep the system running and at times can really save lives, or at least your plans for the evening, when you forgot to buy something on Saturday...
@robertyancy5317
@robertyancy5317 5 жыл бұрын
Balance is 🔑
@QubilahHarden
@QubilahHarden 4 жыл бұрын
I love this. I used to think I really was a master in the art of seduction on a personal and professional level. And to some degree I am, but now I know how to amplify my skills. I don’t want to use my charms for maleficent intent. I now know to focus more on an unmet need and allow the object (man, job, etc) of my desire to gravitate towards me.
@vesper9547
@vesper9547 5 жыл бұрын
What a brilliant smart eloquent man.... He can read restaurant menu and I will listen him for hours! Saying that though hearing a British accent on Indian man was puzzling at first.
@wetlazer2443
@wetlazer2443 2 жыл бұрын
Nice presentation, great suit ... I wonder how many folks were in attendance, though.
@Life_moreabundantly
@Life_moreabundantly 5 жыл бұрын
I'm Living Life. As I Should. No Games At All!!
@alexdornelli3242
@alexdornelli3242 5 жыл бұрын
He just seducted me with his wit and charm, a great speaker with a terrific sense of timing.
@johnrosenbaum8730
@johnrosenbaum8730 6 жыл бұрын
Brilliant talk. He'd make an excellent news reader.
@linkingup2
@linkingup2 5 жыл бұрын
he is a professor, guiding the generations and you want him to be a newsreader. what a generation
@rontagore4560
@rontagore4560 Ай бұрын
This man is a gem of an orator . My salute
@adialatifi341
@adialatifi341 5 жыл бұрын
i don’t know why some people are twisting words. listen to what this man has to say. grasp it and don’t try to ‘dig in’ to mislead the whole concept. please and thank you.
@nv7287
@nv7287 5 жыл бұрын
15:14 Her unmet need wasn't for parts without the letter R.. It was to be loved just as she is! People's motivations are 90% not work driven, but by human need to be appreciated and seen and cherished for themself... This was Casanovas skill, to see the unmet need and to make a gift towards that. He had eyes that could perceive, and the emotional intelligence to do so.
@sanneh2
@sanneh2 6 жыл бұрын
He speaks so nicely and eloquently. His accent is sharp as well. However, I did not like this talk on seduction.
@instagod9345
@instagod9345 6 жыл бұрын
I see what you did there.
@rapidtower1753
@rapidtower1753 5 жыл бұрын
deeper purpose, are you trying to seduce us? 😊
@mjsart7399
@mjsart7399 3 жыл бұрын
Aw ha haaa I see what you are doing
@kennygo8423
@kennygo8423 3 жыл бұрын
Witty
@sarah-anneperry6932
@sarah-anneperry6932 6 жыл бұрын
This speaks a lot about the actual evolution of humanity and where we are at. The skills we need to develop for us to evolve at this time are that we need to be able to tune ourselves into the needs of others and then tune back into ourselves to fulfill them with our own creativity.
@Ireemo1
@Ireemo1 6 жыл бұрын
for god sakes, you're so eloquent and the speech is perfectly executed !!! I am super impressed. audible should hire you.
@zumbavault
@zumbavault Жыл бұрын
1.Attention, intrest, maintainance 2.Normalise being sweet with people.. and always be normal (always be sweet) 3.eye contact + super self confidence 4. Wise 5. Identify their best quality and praise them about it (compliment) 6. Meet their unmet need
@ddbulley3
@ddbulley3 5 жыл бұрын
I love his comment between 8:40 - 9:10.
@rosalynuv9656
@rosalynuv9656 8 жыл бұрын
He's a great speaker...if that's a seduction...I got seduced! :)
@amigoprovocante
@amigoprovocante 6 жыл бұрын
;-)
@quashiannawhitted902
@quashiannawhitted902 6 жыл бұрын
I don’t know why this is so funny to me 😂
@mjsart7399
@mjsart7399 3 жыл бұрын
I think everyone did
@vaishnavinamdev3894
@vaishnavinamdev3894 3 жыл бұрын
@@mjsart7399 I really didn't. I got so bored
@fanidimitrova7736
@fanidimitrova7736 5 жыл бұрын
So, pure marketing: FInd the unmet need, and fulfill it, just like trade transactions and market regulated by demand and supply of people.. The part with the attraction, interest and maintainance also reminds me of Marketing model AIDA- Attraction, Interest, Desire, Action...And yes, we have also Maintainance or Service as it is in the economics, so that you should get loyal customers..or lovers :) Well..well...start applying marketing laws in order to be sucessful in love!!!
@dreamingofnaomi
@dreamingofnaomi 2 жыл бұрын
In the little social encounters I do have with people. Listening to others talk while remaining silent but attentive makes you attractive. People who just go on and on about themselves and they don't take the time to really listen to others is a major turn off.
@azurerain26
@azurerain26 Ай бұрын
Brilliant orator and advice!
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