What I Wish People Know After My Husband Died | Terri Budek | TEDxCentennialCollegeToronto

[@brandonsmith5880]

I lost my girlfriend, and mother of my 9 month old daughter, a couple weeks ago. She was only 28. It's so hard to deal with the grief. Nobody told me it was going to get harder as the days pass by. I feel bad for anyone that's dealing with the loss of their lover. The world feels so empty now.

[@nadulamb4141]

So sorry of your loss God be with you

[@aimeekreutzer-malkawi]

It does. I’m so sorry for your loss especially that baby. Prayers for your grieving journey

[@LBB2622]

It’s very difficult

[@WalkerTexas]

God bless you.

[@camilliagaines1436]

I lost my kids dad unexpected this past December 2022 I definitely understand your pain it’s hard trying to live each day with out we was together 12 I was devastated the pain and hurt was so bearable no one will ever know how it feels

[@charlenerivera2235]

I lost my husband 6 months ago due to covid. He gave his life as a nurse in an Emergency room taking care of people during this pandemic.

[@inaacielo6078]

Im sorry for your loss. May he rest in Gods care now. 🥀🙏🏻

[@26loumac]

I lost my husband to covid 4 months ago too. Keep strong xxxx

[@Jane5720]

I'm so so sorry

[@bekarriedaway]

Charlene I’m so so sorry. Mine is also a nurse - and he’s still on a Covid contract - this isn’t over. Your husband is a true hero 💞

[@tattedx3]

I'm so sorry I know how you feel I lost my mom a month ago from covid as well she was taken from one day to the next.. we didn't know and now I miss her so so much.

[@etchutabe3795]

I lost my mum five years ago ,today I was at the mall and I saw a lady walk pass me and she looked so much like my mum ,I froze still starring at her for more than 5 mins resisting the urge to walk up to her and request for a hug ,rushed to the bathroom and cried my eyes out .I miss my mum so much ,the pain just never seems to go away .

[@genettewaldman7526]

Had you come up to me at the mall I would have given you a nice long hug and my phone number so we could text and talk. Your Mom will send signs. Be open to receive them. I am one of your signs from your Mom. She says she is so proud of you and is saving a place for you. She also loves you to the moon and back.💕🌈♥️🎈😇 God Bless You!

[@lauriemtz8616]

Blessings to you. ❤

[@etchutabe3795]

@@genettewaldman7526 I would have very much loved that ,I just read this and am bawling my eyes out ,it means you much to me ,God bless you tremendously.

[@etchutabe3795]

@@lauriemtz8616 Thank you 🙏🏾.

[@linnyfy]

Best prayers and love to u.💕:)

[@YM-matcha]

When you realize the person you loved so much isn’t here in the world anymore, you start to think about the past and how much value the time you spent with them had. It’s easy for us to take every second of our lives with them for granted whereas hard to appreciate the time with them.

[@spezia8066]

Lost my 23 year old daughter 10 years ago, I think of her every second, I'm still struggling with constant aching pain.

[@gina2190]

Hi only me, sending hugs, hard ain’t it. My lovely hubby passed, I’ll never stop hurting just like you.

[@utopianmind1553]

Im so sorry. My daughter searches daily for reasons to stay alive. I fear that injuries pain & depression will overtake her. She is only 26. She no longer sings, dances, nor acts. I daily ache watching her light fade. I keep the fear at bay by replaying great memories we have made. Play the memories:)

[@spezia8066]

@@utopianmind1553 If she had something fun to look forward, a coastal holiday or walk in botanical gardens, whatever it is that she enjoys, might help to lift her spirits. Sending big hugs, hang on tight. She is precious.

[@Danny-fs1hk]

So sorry

[@gracebouchard7977]

I can't imagine it ever not hurting. We can distract ourselves, but it will always be there.

[@kathiburns3695]

Thank you. I lost my husband, Larry to an auto accident almost 18 months ago. He was the love of my life, my best friend. I like to talk about him but the kids seem to have trouble with that. I talk to him when I'm alone. I feel him with me. He will never be forgotten.

[@chrisjohnson2246]

I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you loved, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on because death is inevitable and we'll all have to face it someday, I lost my wife 3yrs ago to a cardiovascular disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer. I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! it'd be nice if you just say hi, here is my number [phone] or rather you can send me your gmail address so I could reach out on you.

[@carolgalloway9303]

I talk to my husband a lot too. I just lost him at the beginning of January. I'm still trying to figure this all out. I was a stay at home mom and he was working. Not sure what is going to happen to us yet. Do you know of any support groups on line?

[@marycarrato6868]

@@carolgalloway9303 i just lost my husband last thursday. I'm going crazy from too much pain. can you tell me what you do to keep going?

[@carolgalloway9303]

@@marycarrato6868 I am just keeping busy trying to go through all my husband's phone and figuring out how to take care of everything. Our youngest child is a junior in high school. I just keep in mind that my husband would want me to be strong and that I come from a line of women that also has to be strong. I haven't worked in years so now I have to figure out how we survive. I'm not old enough to collect social security which means I have to return to the workforce after not working for almost 17 years.

[@carolgalloway9303]

@@marycarrato6868 I suggest finding a support group. I have not joined one yet, but we met a couple who we were ministers a number of years ago camping and they are constantly checking on me. I know that I can speak to them when I need them. I have found old pictures that I didn't even know my husband had and my kids and I were looking at them and talking about dad. I mourn him, but I also want to celebrate this person who was part of my life for 29 years. I don't know if any of this helps but know you aren't alone.

[@steffenrasmussen8150]

I lost my wife 8 days ago, I am 32 and she was 36. I never saw it coming, no warning or nothing. A fatal heart attack, like a lightning strike from a clear sky. Right now it feels impossible that anything will ever be okay again. Thank you for this video, I don’t think I ever want to stop talking about her.

[@lupitawilson7509]

I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️

[@BillyBobBeauBenson]

Please. Tell me how you 're doing right now. I'm the same age as you and I just lost my wife last night in a similar manner.

[@elizael2785]

I lost my husband and father of my 9yr old to a sudden heart attack 4 months ago. I feel your pain. Try to journal stories about her. It helps

[@stephaniebeehler2726]

Yes, keep her alive. Talk and enjoy those memories. It may be hard at first, but as time passes the good memories will comfort you.

[@jodirichardson102]

I am reading this today 3/7/24 and you have made it over a year. I am at the four year mark . The tears slow but it is always there. keep talking her up.

[@melissawittman]

Thank you. My husband died 4 years ago. I still have days that I cry. One thing that sticks in my mind is when I went to the Social Security office to provide a copy of the death certificate; to inform them of his death. The first words out of the mouth of the worker was, "you're too young to receive widow's benefits". After the initial shock, I stated that I was only there to inform them of the death. Then I was just angry. Now, still "too young" to receive benefits, I wonder who made that rule? Our youngest was 20 when my husband died. You are so strong. I am just now able to talk about him without crying constantly. It's still hard. He will always be my best friend and confidant. I just miss him.

[@DanTheManIOM]

5 years for me. SS wanted an accounting of the support money (son 2 was a minor) after he turned 18 and any funds I did not spend on him, they wanted them back. What a bunch of idiots, as if money would make things right again...I never could nor would...

[@chrisjohnson2246]

I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you loved, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on because death is inevitable and we'll all have to face it someday, I lost my wife 3yrs ago to a cardiovascular disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer. I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! it'd be nice if you just say hi, here is my number [phone] or rather you can send me your gmail address so I could reach out on you.

[@annmarieknapp]

I'm sorry for your loss. And that law sucks. Hang in there Hon.

[@annmarieknapp]

@@DanTheManIOM I'm sp sorry. Soulless monsters!!!

[@DanTheManIOM]

@@annmarieknapp don't worry, that was years ago. Need to look forward and do the best we can with what we have....the journey continues until it doesn't.

[@bevadiva5841]

My Dave died almost 10 years ago. The things you've said here are so very true. "If you need anything" only lasts so long. When "they" quit coming by, quit calling, that when I needed everything.

[@soofu]

Thank you for this comment, I will remember this about the people I love who have lost someone immediate to them, I promise to support them when they need it

[@soteriacharis6338]

That's what I fear. Lost my hubs of 35 years on April 24 after a short illness, just two months from diagnosis to death. So it's just over two weeks now as I type this and already the condolences have stopped. I don't fault them really. I would probably be the same. People don't know what to say or do. Yet now when life goes on, I have to create a new life for myself without him in it. I can't imagine being a young wife and mother of young children being a widow. One day at a time with the Lord at my side and often carrying me, I will get through this valley.

[@user-od1fm3hs9c]

@@soteriacharis6338 sending you hug.🤗 Stay close to the lord, he will guide you through this. ❤

[@MultiRusty50]

So sorry for your loss Beva. My husband also died in April of Covid Pneumonia. He had Parkinsons for 19 yrs. It is very difficult and lonesome. Hugs to you

[@spezia8066]

Its hard for friends to adjust to the new grief-ridden person that we become when in deep mourning. They certainly keep their distance as they can feel our pain and its too much for them to bear.

[@carmennemura6138]

What a great talk. Lost my husband, brother and dad in the span of 22 months. Grief hits you when you least expect it. Is ok to cry and honor yourself when you are having a bad day! Thank You!

[@chrisjohnson2246]

I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you loved, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on because death is inevitable and we'll all have to face it someday, I lost my wife 3yrs ago to a cardiovascular disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer. I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! it'd be nice if you just say hi, here is my number [phone] or rather you can send me your gmail address so I could reach out on you.

[@Helibeaver]

Wow. Thanks for sharing. Hope you're life gives you more smiles from now on.

[@XianKai]

Hi Carmen. I am so sad to hear that you loss your husband and brother and dad. I lost my dad, aunt, and uncle all last year and my grandmother this year in April. Do you have any advice or can point to information/organizations on how to handle loss back to back like that? My searches are not pulling up much. How does ones process multiple losses like this?

[@carmennemura6138]

@@XianKaiAm so sorry for your loss. Everyone has their own way of grieving, I personally didn’t search for a support group because I just simply didn’t want to talk, i literally didn’t have the energy to talk. I just needed to be in silence and absorb all the losses and figure out how to move on and what was next. I didn’t get out of the house (with the exception of work) for two years. Finally I woke up one morning and decided I was going to adopt a dog because it will force me to get out of the house and talk to people. It worked. My dog lost per owner due to cancer so she was in a deep depression when I adopted her and had her good days and bad days. We have pulled each other out of the hole one day at a time, 18 months later the sun is starting to shine on a daily basis and I got to meet many of my neighbors thanks to her friendly personality. This is what helped me, again everyone is different and their grieving process might be completely different.

[@jimaldous3307]

So sorry to hear. I lost my wife then my son died 7 months later. My closest sister then passed away from the following November. I agree we must cry and let ourselves do this when it hits. It is part of the grieving process. I wish you well.

[@maryanncampbell3090]

I was 35 and my husband was 33. My kids were 10 and 12. He died instantly in a motorcycle accident. That was 16 years 5 months ago. I wish I had more stories like this when it happened for me. I’m remarried and happy but a day doesn’t go by that I don’t miss him and think of him.

[@annmarieknapp]

I'm sorry for your loss. I've never had loving long term relationship with a person I could trust and who wouldn't hurt me. My horrific divorce was one marriage to many for me. I don't want to remarry. I would love a loving and caring relationship. But, as a 51 year old divorced college professor and female, I'm practically invisible.

[@dawnoceanside7300]

@@chrisjohnson2246 please, do not include a child. Big big difference!!!

[@josephchiu408]

@@annmarieknapp A gentle heart is always attractive and 51 is young. Pray for the hurt to be healed and a caring and charming gentleman would come to your life.

[@chrisjohnson2246]

@@annmarieknapp I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you loved, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on because death is inevitable and we'll all have to face it someday, I lost my wife 3yrs ago to a cardiovascular disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer. I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! it'd be nice if you just say hi, here is my number [phone] or rather you can send me your gmail address so I could reach out on you.

[@ladyluck5248]

All I can say is that your feelings are normal and I understand ....

[@jillgoldstein1718]

I am so sorry for your loss. I am a covid widow with 3 children and I can honestly say you hit the nail on the head. People really don't know what to say. I talk about my late husband all the time and so do my kids. I know he is gone but we had 28 years together and I can't just stop talking about him because that would mean I can't talk about anything in my past. You must be a GREAT mom.

[@LGOutdoors3]

She us

[@aprilblake2163]

I miss my husband so much hes been gone 2 mts I love talking about him and remembering his talent as a musician. He could play the most beautiful music on his guitar, that's part of why I fell in love with him. I hate cancer

[@melodynearlyful]

I hate cancer and covid and hospitals that do'nt know how to care for them/

[@juliedepaz6374]

I hate cancer my mom passed and my friend of suicide my mom is buried in Guatemala and I live in USA I can’t go to her grave and put flowers or talk to her and that depresses me and makes me sad but I visit my friend and take her daughter out ❤️

[@barbhouse3818]

I lost my husband June 14 2022. He was a guitar builder and played as well. He had a massive heart attack and was gone in an instant. Please reach out to me.. maybe we can help each other. Gid bless

[@kathleengrant4341]

You were strong. When my Dave died. I fell apart, at age 28 with three small children, before the internet. 30 years have gone by. Those three kids are 40, 32 and 28, and I'm still grieving. We absolutely do need to start talking about death instead of being so afraid of it that we can't comfort each other. After 30 years, no one cares as much as we do, and everyone is still afraid to talk about it.

[@gudrunerlingsdottir4590]

You are so true ! God bless you dear Kathleen - I feel your pain - love and hugs to you ❤

[@utkarshasathe1733]

@kathleen grant There is no one to hear me....what should I do please help me out of this.. I don't know what to do...I have to pretend that I m ok I have to pretend that I m living my life normally...no one knows what going inside me no one cares no one is there to talk what should I do 😭💔 please help me out please tell me....

[@sarahziemke48]

I'm so sorry for your loss. And I'm so grateful to watch this. My husband of twenty years, suddenly died from kidney failure and heart failure. He couldn't breath alone. His diabetes had been neglected or maybe in denial with all of us. But he wasn't ready to quit some bad habits, like many sugar sodas per day. He was sneaking cigarettes, and wasn't excersizing. And those things kept adding more and more issues to his failing health. January 9th, 2021, at 9:38 p.m., they took him off life support. As I write my story, I'm a mess. I lost my beloved father to his suicide when I was just 16. I thought that would be the hardest time ever I would face. And for years, it was. But when my soulmate, Jeff, passed just over two months ago, it was unlike any loss I've faced and in an entirely different way. I'd spent everyday, and night with Jeff, and everyday is still heartbreaking. One day, I will barely make it through the day without falling apart, but they're difficult to do. While other days, it's hour by hour, sometimes minute by minute. I miss his presence! His void is unfillable. He is irreplaceable. I have so much that I hear, and immediately wanna share with Jeff. But I have no way to tell him about something we shared interest in, and I just can't share details of what I heard. It hurts so much, I feel as though the pain will never cease. I know time will ease my pain. But I'm sleeping in our huge king-size bed, alone, with our fur-baby. That's my piece of comfort. I hope to get to where you are with your emotions and can keep him alive with our memories. Thank you.

[@justinkimball1399]

i lost my wife on February 14th 2021 at 5:20am due to kidney failure I came downstairs for work and found her on the floor and she was gone, I am so sorry for your loss and I Feel your pain she was and is my soulmate.

[@JenJean1234]

I lost my husband 12 years ago and have had many of the same emotions. You will get through it. I still grieve and have times of tears. I was not able to have another relationship because he was my soulmate. People think I should move on, but what does that mean. I live my life, work etc...just without my husband. Like this speaker said, have friends that allow you to talk about him. Say his name. Share funny stories, what you loved most about him. This is very healing. It will help you. You are not alone.

[@pamlees7407]

I am almost 5 years. Grief will always follow me and you as well. It bends and molds with us as we change from being the partner to being single...I don’t feel single. I have lemon 🍋 pie for his birthday. A friend put a different slant on death. He said it was My Angel’versary and that brought me comfort. It was his new beginning not a final emding until we meet again. I went to a group Friends in Grief and after the 8 wk program we met once a month for dinner. Covid has changed the

[@beautyRest1]

So very sorry to hear your story Sarah! I too lost my husband in October 2020. It was the hardest thing ever. I lost my mom and dad , yes, that was very hard, but spouse is a different level. So many things you described I feel too. The loneliness is unbearable sometimes. Every room I go to reminds me of him. I see his guitar, that he will never play. I was able to get rid of some of his belongings, but still hold on to others. I know there will be a light at the end of the tunnel, but it takes time to get there. I wish you strength for the coming month and much happiness in the near future!!

[@chrisjohnson2246]

@@pamlees7407 I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you loved, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on because death is inevitable and we'll all have to face it someday, I lost my wife 3yrs ago to a cardiovascular disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer. I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! it'd be nice if you just say hi, here is my number [phone] or rather you can send me your gmail address so I could reach out on you.

[@rhondamadgirl]

I just lost my husband two weeks ago, after a long, long illness. The grief is fresh.

[@summerjones316_17]

May the Lord Jesus comfort you in the Way that Only HE can. Revelation 22

[@marilynmanord1790]

I lost my perfect, sweet, loving husband due to cancer. I miss him every single day. Yes he matters and he still matters. RIP Frankie always and always missed until I see you again.

[@helenlow6219]

To all who have lost husbands, as I have, and other family members,....they may not be here physically, but they celebrate and mourn with us in spirit. We will join our loved ones when it is our turn, but will then also be spiritually present to celebrate with those still on earth. We were created to have life everlasting.

[@helenkornilova9849]

Thank you… this means a lot! I lost my partner 1.5 years ago (approximately).. And I’ve stopped answering the “so did you move on?” questions…

[@douglaswerts4936]

The best response I had when my soulmate died was ‘I don’t know what to say’, then gave me a warm hug and said nothing more. That’s it. There really is no need for people to worry about not knowing what to say. A hug, a light touch on the arm says more than words. NEVER say easy, glib platitudes.

[@shirleycull8917]

After my husband died, a widow reached out and started a widow’s group. We meet once a month and I’m coming up on year 10 since the love of my life died of a glioblastoma. Widows sharing and caring has been a healing part of my journey. I’m moving to a new community and I’ll be starting a widow’s group to help other women on their road of living with loss. Terri you have shared a storehouse of wisdom and insight. Thank you.

[@carollorion5130]

I lost my husband in Dec. 2019 and we celebrated our 54th wedding anniversary while he was in hospice. The covid year was peaceful to examine the loss. Thank you for sharing your experience.

[@karenrich9092]

I lost my David 6 years ago. I joined a bereavement group that is a big help. Yes, talk about your husband. Get your husband's friends to talk and write about him. That way, your children will learn more about him. Finally, a hug always fits. A friend told me it gets a little easier every day, but it never completely goes away.

[@annmarieknapp]

I lost my mother nearly six years ago and it still hurts to the core. I have never had a loving spouse. My mother was the love of my life and when she died she took me with her. A different person now.

[@christinafisher3561]

I lost my Father in February due to covid complications. My mother and I were also diagnosed with covid the same time. He was my mentor and my best friend. I've been separated from my spouse which brought me to live with my parents where I would have the honor and privilege to care for him 9 months ago. Little did I know these past several months bonding like never before, would be our last. Thank you God for your timing in all of this. Only you have the power to bring something good from a loss so great.

[@irisrose4732]

I'm so sorry for your painful loss, and I completely empathize. It's as if I could have written your words; my mother is my soul mate, always and forever. I lost her on Valentine's Day of 2013 and I "died" too. I am trying to live to the best of my ability, for her especially, as well as my father whom died a year later.

[@schawnettarobinson8584]

I recently lost my mother, and I’m a different person.

[@danamelton1738]

I'm so sorry for all of yalls loss. I pray that God covers you all with love and comfort not just now but from now on. I pray for peace for you. I pray that one day you'll be able to smile, before you cry, when their names brought up or stories are told or something reminds you of them. Take the time you need and have to give yourself to mourn in your way, feel what you need to feel. But please remember this. Your not alone. Yes I am a stranger but my heart told me to respond to this comment. You are not alone. You may want to be alone at times and that's ok but please remember, everyone of your friends or family have been through heartbreak and loss. It may be in a different way but others know how you feel and as human beings we can share those feelings with each other. None of us are meant to walk through life alone. That's why we are blessed with friends and loved ones or even a stranger with a kind word. Talking about it will lift some of the weight off of you. Your not alone. You deserve happiness and you will get that again even if it doesnt seem that way right now. Your stronger than you think. God bless you all. Xo

[@donnak936]

@@danamelton1738 : What a Heartfelt, Beautiful Comment. God Bless You!! 🙏🏻❤️

[@Lexington-n7z]

I'm a young widow....just lost my husband 2 weeks ago. If I hear " well, honey, he's in a better place" or " you're young and will fund somebody else" I believe I gouge their eyes out!!!! When people as me how I'm doing..... UMMMMM. IM DOING TERRIBLE!!!!!!

[@susampson278]

Are you telling people you're doing terrible? Say so AND that you can't talk about it yet

[@douglaswerts4936]

Unbelievable the crass, cruel things people can say.

[@ginaroanhorse9524]

Thank you, my husband died about a month before your husband passed. and to this day, I still grieve and so thank you for your talk. IT's important.

[@chrisjohnson2246]

I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you loved, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on because death is inevitable and we'll all have to face it someday, I lost my wife 3yrs ago to a cardiovascular disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer. I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! it'd be nice if you just say hi, here is my number [phone] or rather you can send me your gmail address so I could reach out on you.

[@lilymaniquis8460]

I was married for 65 yrs to a man whom I met since kindergarten had 8 wonderful children all professional adults right now lwas told l turn a boy into a man a lot of growing up he passed away 2 yes ago lam able to go on he gave the greatest gift our 8 children to me

[@lilymaniquis8460]

Years ago he left me greatest gift of all our 8 children whatever tears l shed doesn't matter now.

[@morganclarke9284]

Became a widow in February. Hearing her normalize the way I feel and validate me when I still cry all day some days, it's so refreshing. My parents said to me when they found me crying a month ago, "I thought you were getting better".....yeah, they thought that because I was telling everyone I was as to not bother them, but inside it only got harder and harder as the days went on. I still am no where near comfortable with the circumstance, that's why I'm so happy I did my research and found this video. I feel so much more validated. Thank you.

[@biker5662]

I give you my sincere condolences in your grief. Attending Grief Share has been tremendously helpful for me in grieving my loss. My father died by suicide a few months ago. The pain was nearly unbearable for a couple months and I didn't know how to cope. Grief Share won't help you move on, but it will do something even better; it will help you move forward.

[@jadepaulsen8456]

I lost my love as well. I am 60. I asked my widowed friends if it stops hurting. They assured me it did. Now...it is less. It does mean he is forgotten just distant. NOT forgotten. Wow...talk about a frueidian slip.

[@jadepaulsen8456]

@@biker5662 somehow suicide hurts even more. This involves guilt. " why did i not see it?" " what could i have done?" Absolutely nothing. However . the pain left to the survivors is .......i want to say unforgivable...i want to. So i will leave it at that.

[@biker5662]

@@jadepaulsen8456 I too feel some guilt over not being able to perceive it. 😢 He had a psychologist who strongly suggested that he be admitted days before his death. He denied the opportunity. It is really heartbreaking to ponder💔, so I try to apply the admonition in Phillippians 4:8. It's helpful to do that.

[@jadepaulsen8456]

@@biker5662 im not surprised . it sounds like his mind was made up. Sometimes we just miss our home(Lord).

[@daviddorne4450]

I lost my wife 2 months ago and am now just watching this I don't think I've come with the terms of her death yet although this is helping thank you so much she left behind a 2 year old son he misses her so much I don't know how to console him but I am learning

[@beautyRest1]

I’m so very sorry for your loss. I lost my husband 4 month ago. He was almost 72. I miss him terribly and it’s hard to move on. I never thought I would grieve like this. I wish you and your son the best !!!

[@daviddorne4450]

@@beautyRest1 thank you so very much I tried telling people we all lose people in life and agreement process is different for each and every one of us however your love of a spouse is a different type of love and to be honest it's a pain I've never felt and with that being said oh God I never want to feel it again it is probably the worst pain ever felt but God bless you to get each day and time to say let's face it so we could do when he's going to go next just like you know you got one day it's going to be worse than the next you know it's the littlest things we missed that we don't even know we miss them honey could you open this drawer tomato sauce if you get this bottle of soda it's the littlest things that we miss so much and makes you cry and cry over a simple bottle of soda break down tears just thinking about her asking me to get it because you know the capitals are too tired you know the stinking door don't want to open up really easier you know anything like that you know since the baby is only two I give him money time which means show me pictures of stuff like that and a house for the next hour hour ly and the only thing I can tell him is go ahead and talk to Mommy she can hear you but she can't talk back to you and then just reassuring him everyday that she loves him and she misses him but I'm so terribly sorry about your husband also I will keep you in my prayers amen you know I couldn't imagine videos for so long and I haven't we were married for 4 years sadly she suffered a seizure which caused a heart attack and nobody was home

[@JW-hw5hg]

I'm sorry mate. I lost my wife almost 2 years ago at 37 years old. I know it seems hopeless right now, but it will get easier over time. I know that is such a cliche though.

[@danamelton1738]

I'm so sorry for all of yalls loss. I pray that God covers you all with love and comfort not just now but from now on. I pray for peace for you. I pray that one day you'll be able to smile, before you cry, when their names brought up or stories are told or something reminds you of them. Take the time you need and have to give yourself to mourn in your way, feel what you need to feel. But please remember this. Your not alone. Yes I am a stranger but my heart told me to respond to this comment. You are not alone. You may want to be alone at times and that's ok but please remember, everyone of your friends or family have been through heartbreak and loss. It may be in a different way but others know how you feel and as human beings we can share those feelings with each other. None of us are meant to walk through life alone. That's why we are blessed with friends and loved ones or even a stranger with a kind word. Talking about it will lift some of the weight off of you. Your not alone. You deserve happiness and you will get that again even if it doesnt seem that way right now. Your stronger than you think. God bless you all. Xo

[@carolinemcdaniel769]

Can really be rough moving on, I lost my husband 6 months ago yet people be like... you need to move on...

[@marciakeichel3990]

I lost my husband almost 5 years ago after 52 years of marriage. My daughters and I had to deal with everything by ourselves. Not one friend or relative came to see us or do anything to help us. We did it all alone. They will never be a part of my life again. The hurt was too unbearable.

[@morganfalkdesigns]

Wow…I am so sorry to hear no one was there…

[@ccartwright2348]

I love this- I feel like you are speaking my thoughts. My husband died unexpectedly in front of me 3 months ago. His life and his spirit need to be talked about and he was the love of my life. Thank you for posting this

[@irenegulliver5577]

That’s what I do ,telling his story Memories don’t leave like people do………live with you

[@barbhouse3818]

I have the same story Lost my Gary June 14th 2022. Grief is very fresh. Would love to chat with you..

[@debraandpauljudson613]

I lost my husband Paul just over a year ago, we had been married 38 years and were getting ready to start our retirement. We were going to buy a camper and travel for a while, we were planning lots of walking holidays and many other adventures. Then he got sick - that wasn’t in the plan. I never thought he would die so young, he was so strong and healthy and active. But it happened. It has been devastating, and yes I have cried in the car on the way home from work, I’ve cried in the shower and in the house when alone. I also have this feeling of being half a person. I deal with it by telling myself the sadness is normal and par for the course, and that I have to go through it. But it’s hard.

[@debsantana1182]

Debra, i lost my fiance a few months ago . I will never be the same. People constantly tell me to think of the good times and memories. honestly, all I can think about was the future we were suppose to have. What we were suppose to do..all we planned. If iattempt to think about the memories, my heart feels like it lifted out of my physical body, floating in thin air with nothing to ground it. The thought of him makes me scream and cry. I have to literally go in the car and scream so my girls won't see me. The world feels foreign without him. Everytime I look at someone I think, wow I lost someone who could never be duplicated or imitated. Now I pray I'm following the will of God because if you believe God promises us we will see them again. In his word he stated, to be absent from the body is to be present with the lord. He also states how God hates death and its not of him. Remember when Mary brother died..her sister Martha sent for Jesus to come..they were sadden with grief. Jesus wept ..he loved Nazareth n told Mary his death will be used to glorifi the father then he brought him back. I'm struggling with the feeling Satan put in my head. I feel like I'm too good of a person for God not to have intervene to save him. I tell God..you knew what it wld do to me..and you knew the life we planned together. I wanted him to use his power and intervene to save him the same way he has saved others. All I can say is we don't get to know why. Who are we to get to know the master plan. However , I think that he will give us what our heart desires according to his will. Maybe God pulls people out of this world when theyve reached their full blossom so that they make it in the kingdom of heaven. Maybe those who are still living have yet to fulfill our purpose. Some of us are called to soldiers for christ. Some of us like me have experienced a lot tragedy and are innocent in it all.I'm praying that he shows me why I survived and why he didn't.. I witnessed his tragic death. I want to know what is my purpose for staying behind and having to endure what already feels like death. Most of the time I'm just ready to go so I can see him but we knkw according to the bible , only God, Jesus and the angels are in heaven right now. Everyone else is still asleep until God return. The Bible says, the dead shall rise first and all that are living will join him in heaven with the angels. May Jesus be with all of us. James Ch.1 states to consider it all joy. That sounds crazy that the father would even say that. Knowing people are really hurting inside. However if he said it. Let's have faith that he is going to work it all out in the end. Maybe it will be like stressing over a test..then sewing the test was 5 questions and everyone passes. God bless this universe!

[@debsantana1182]

@Chris Johnson who are you replying to?

[@debsantana1182]

@Chris Johnson ok, your reply didn't have the @symbol for me. I'm a big huge mess. I'm barely holding on so trust me you'd be better off chatting with someome else. I'm glad you have found peace with your loss. Time is not working out that way for me. The more time goes by I realize I am not dreaming or in a coma I hoped for. For some reason i have convinced myself I am dreaming and eventually I will awake or come to cautious. I know it's crazy but I can't believe he is really gone. Its like you know life doesn't last forever but you don't actually realize it until it happens. You loss two people close to your heart, that's hard. When you have guilt occupanying loss, the pain is worst. My pain in intensified because of my guilt.

[@debsantana1182]

@Chris Johnson you can give me your email. I have not been able to speak lately without screaming and crying .perhaps email will be best to say hello

[@christineterpens3136]

So sorry for your loss. Sounds like you had a beautiful life with your husband. Take care please

[@dalebelcher8019]

I lost my husband a year ago. Two days after I lost him I lost my dog. I can’t get passed losing him. I think about them all of my waking hours. I can’t stop seeing them everywhere. I’m still in love with my husband.

[@KayLindsay-vd8mm]

Prayers and love

[@helenkornilova9849]

Sending you lots of love 🙏🏻

[@antjelewis]

It's taken me 3 years to begin talking about my wife without crying every single time, and every time I manage to do it - with or without crying - I can feel myself heal that little bit more. Thanks for this wonderful talk.

[@Prettymapleleaf]

Crying is the most healing thing a human being can do. We all grieve differently. Be kind to yourself and flow with your emotions. Your wife is always with you.

[@keztukariri]

Through all my damn sadness and heart ache, it feels good to know im not the only one who turned to the internet within days to try and find some coping mechanisms... I miss you eternally my beautiful Dad & my baby girl Wairua... i will celebrate you both as long as i live ❤💔💔💔 i look forward to seeing you both again one day 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽

[@cutch417]

Loss my husband 11 months ago. He was 53. Came home from work. We were chatting and kidding with each other. He had a massive heart attacks. I did cpr. They worked on him forever, almost an hour. He never responded. I still am walking around in disbelief he's not here. Love and hugs to all here.

[@barbhouse3818]

Can we touch base?? My husband had a massive heart attack in front of my eyes on June 14th 2022. I'm lost. I dont know which way to turn.. he would have been 65 next month. We had plans to grow old together.. GOD BLESS YOU

[@barbhouse3818]

@Chris Johnson se mn

[@barbhouse3818]

@Chris Johnson southeast MN. I would rather not post e act location on here.

[@barbhouse3818]

@Chris Johnson minute by minute

[@lorrasm]

Same here

[@truthwatchers]

I loved this talk. I lost my husband in 2019 to cancer when I was still 34 years old. it's 4 years now and grief still strikes unexpectedly every now and then. I too think that my Alfred was the smartest man I have ever known and often think about what he would have done then and there and try to do the same... What hurts the most is when I see my 10 years old struggling without his dad by his side to encourage and mentor him.. My faith in Christ has been my rock through this time. Though I am walking on a painful road I know He holds my hand.

[@aimeekreutzer-malkawi]

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s so true when u speak of the painful road we walk. I am thankful to God for the days he lifted me up in the darkest days on this grieving journey.

[@truthwatchers]

​@ChrisJohnson-lh9qbI'm from Sydney Australia

[@ladicamille5932]

Today is my person 1 month anniversary. My husband was my life, my best friend, my soul mate, secret keeper, chief, coparent, my Monday & Friday, the sunshine and the rain. Grief feels like fear to me, I've become codependent by staying busy. But the pain hurts its unbearable. The showers are definitely soul cleansers...I'm able to clear my emotions to release some pain and clean my body. He will forever be loved and always missed.

[@JRPLawyeress1]

This is so good and so wise. People love to talk about their dead loved one and hear their name and stories about them. A month out is when everyone is gone from the services. You have to go through your loved one’s personal things and clothing. That’s when a person needs help. The shock is wearing off and the reality setting in. It’s tough when you go to the store and realize you don’t have to pick up their favorite snacks. Having something on hold at a shop you were going to surprise them with. Right now I’m telling stories to anyone who will listen.

[@cristinacastro9395]

Thank you so much; my husband died Jan 28 /21 , and I really appreciate what you said! God blessdyou.

[@XianKai]

This talk needs to be a part of grief groups and highly recommended to people concerning death. Mrs Budek is right---we don't talk about death at all in avoidance but we need to so we don't go into depression or despair mode in tring to get back to normal or keeping up appearances in front of others. It is absolutely alright to talk about our love one. We are the bearers of their life and moments.

[@LizRainey56]

My husband George, and one of my aunts appreciated that I was able to sit and talk about death with them, or listen to their thoughts without shushing them. We need to treat death and dying more as a normal occurrence ... something to talk about as if it was a fancy dinner, or graduation day... part of life... it helps the dying as well as the living.

[@Ndeira08]

My Dad once told me, no-one truly dies in this world if we don't stop talking about them. Embrace that person, share the beautiful memories you have with them. You never stop grieving. Understand it's okay to not be okay ❤️

[@nccu5342]

I was 58, when I was widowed, married 3 months to the man I was best friends with 12 years. September 16, 2016. This is awesome, thank you

[@jrwheeler81]

I can relate to this so much. Exactly 3 weeks ago, I very suddenly and unexpectedly lost my husband to a pulmonary embolism. He had just turned 52 years old only 3 weeks prior and I'm only 40. We had been together for 22 years, ever since I was just 18 years old. I've been with my husband for over half of my life and now he is suddenly gone. He was my soulmate and my best friend, not to mention my entire support system and the one I could confide in about ANYTHING. I just don't know how I'm supposed to go on without him.

[@barbhouse3818]

I am So sorry for your loss. I lost my 64 yr old husband on June 14 2022. It's ou bee a few days over a month. I would love to talk with you and any others that want to reach out to chat. I have alot of sleepless nights.. anyone else??

[@jrwheeler81]

@@barbhouse3818 I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I am right there with you and know exactly what you are going through. My husband passed away just two weeks after your husband on June 28, 2022. It was extremely sudden and unexpected. I feel like I've been trapped frozen in time on that day that I lost him. My entire life has been turned upside down. This is the WORST I have ever felt in my entire life. I feel so alone and lost. I've never experienced so much pain and heartbreak. My husband and I were rarely ever apart in 22 years. I miss him so much it physically hurts. :( I would love to connect. I have so many supportive family and friends, but none of them have ever been through this, so they just don't really understand.

[@lynny5510]

My husband and I were only 54 yrs old when my husband passed away Nov 2021. He died of cardiac arrest and it was so sudden and so unexpected. It is has been one yr and two weeks and I still cry everyday. I ask myself everyday what will I do? How will make it through another day? We were married 34 yrs. Our 34th wedding anniversary was exactly one month to day that he passed away. 22 Dec is our wedding anniversary and I am fast approaching that date again.

[@ashleymedeiros4266]

13 years with my hubby. I lost him two weeks ago. We have two kids together. I’m completely lost. I relate & feel your pain in your words so much! I’m sorry you’re going through this. I feel like we have to relearn everything. I depended on him for so much! I’m 32 and our kids are only 9 & 7.

[@arnellehardy1091]

I’m so sorry for your loss I’m right here with you my fiancé passed away the day before our NYE engagement anniversary we were to marry next month my wedding dress is in the closet 😢 he was my entire support system and my everything the only person I could confide in I’m heart broken smh

[@ANG-kz2ci]

Thank you for sharing. I was with my husband as friends, married and then partners for over 32 years. Meeting him at 23 I have had more years on this planet with him than without him and I feel lost since his passing on March 26,2024. I appreciate your talk and insights on you, Dave and the girls as it gives me hope. Bless you all.

[@Ohiotruckerkat]

My husband and I lost our only child when he was 21. Because we talk about our son Logan it has kept us closer and we lean on each other. Never a day goes by we don’t think about our son. We don’t always talk about Logan to each other but when we do we listen. We laugh at things we think Logan would have enjoyed. And we still cry about the hard parts of missing Logan. Knowing he will never be here to enjoy life and have a family of his own. But talking about Logan keeps him alive in us and our hearts. I didn’t think I could ever be closer to my husband. But until Logan died and we leaned on each other I can’t imagine being more closer to anyone like I am with my husband.

[@tomtomtom731]

That is beautiful; you are so lucky to still have the comfort of each other.

[@5MinutePsychology]

Grief is like love with nowhere to go. This is why it hurts so bad and for so long.

[@upstatenewyork]

I like that. Grief is love with no where to go. Thanks for sharing. Peace.

[@BarbaraInspires17]

Well said

[@meninagreen5704]

Boy, are you ever right. It's chronic, deep and shattering. I'm full of regret and pain..

[@zoehannah6278]

😥

[@helenkornilova9849]

Thank you… this hits hard… Sending you a lot of love 🙏🏻

[@DavidStarrUSA]

I lost my boyfriend in February 2021. I'm at that stage where I'm segregating myself from everyone. The only people I see daily are coworkers, mom, sister. I stay away from everyone because I don't know how to continue life without my friend. 😞💜

[@danamelton1738]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I pray that God covers you with love and comfort not just now but from now on. I pray for peace for you. I pray that one day you'll be able to smile, before you cry, when his names brought up or stories are told or something reminds you of him. Take the time you need and have to give yourself to mourn in your way, feel what you need to feel. Wear nothing but sweatpants and old tshirts if you want for awhile 🙂. But please remember this. Your not alone. Yes I am a stranger to you but my heart told me to respond to your comment. You are not alone. You may want to be alone at times and that's ok but please remember, everyone of your friends or family have been through heartbreak and loss. It may be in a different way but others know how you feel and as human beings we can share those feelings with each other. Friends and family may be exactly what you need. Literally a shoulder to cry on or someone to laugh with. Ask them how they got past loss in their lives. None of us are meant to walk through life alone. That's why we are blessed with friends and loved ones. Talking about it will lift some of the weight off of you. Your not alone. You deserve happiness and you will get that again even if it doesnt seem that way right now. Your stronger than you think. God bless you. Xo

[@silviaamorim4044]

I feel the same . I had a 40 years marriage . Imagined if I was young , how sad for the rest of my life grieving . I don’t know how to continue life without him neither but, I see I am not the only one . Love uou

[@trumpgirl9291]

Your boyfriend would not want you to be alone. Be honest with people. They genuinely want to help. Your life is not meant to be lived like this. You will start to feel better in time, just baby step things little by little to a new norm. I promise it will be ok.🙏🏻❤️

[@scorchedgorse2649]

@@grandmamoses6977 I would love to experience a dream like this. I'm glad you did. ❤

[@jasminebullard283]

@@silviaamorim4044 I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my fiancé last week and I don’t know how I’ll be back to move on. How can I live normal ? How can I love another man again ?

[@kimtilley9485]

My David passed away March 2022 and this talk is spot on! I'm already struggling with noticing people changing the topic and not wanting to talk about him. Why do people do this??! He was my soul mate, my best friend, the love of my life...he was and always will be important to me.

[@lifebysuzanne9405]

My Dave passed 1/22/22 I’m going thru the same thing. It feels like I’m expected to move on like he didn’t exist. I can’t do that now. Or ever.

[@DH-gk8vh]

Keep talking about him. My Chuck passed April 9th, 2023 after 10 years with congestive heart failure. I knew he was going to die eventually from this, but it came closer last October when a palliative care team told him he had years to months to live. I spent that time in and out of hospitals with him from Aug. 2022 to April 2023 6 different time. I went through anticipatory grief. Now grieving, I keep pictures of him around the house, his urn on the fireplace mantel and I talk to him often. Yes, I talk to him, and I talk about him whenever the opportunity arises. My kids and family are use to it by now. New friends are at first a little uncomfortable, so I keep it short, but I don't let it stop me. You have the right to grieve, to remember and keep him alive. It brings me much needed comfort. He was only 65 and after he passed I had my 65th birthday. I might live for years yet, who knows. I will never stop grieving, but it's nature will change. I have to accept that not only is he gone, but my life is irrevocably changed forever. There is no one or no thing that can fill that hole, so I honor him by honoring his memory. I also had a silver necklace and pendant where the funeral home was able to put his finger print on it. Grieving is complicated. It's ok and feeling the pain is normal. Asking people who have never been through something like this to understand is misguided. This is something you cannot understand until it happens to you. Bless you. I will never stop loving or grieving my husband. Hopefully it will get better with time for both of us.

[@DH-gk8vh]

@lifebysuzanne9405 I know. After a period of time everyone else moves on and they expect us to. That's not how grief works. I'm reading a very thoughtful and insightful book written by two grieving women called "what's your grief?". I got it off Amazon. It might help you understand better the grieving your living with. It won't stop it, but understanding helps. I honestly feel your pain. I get it. Yesterday was a bad day. Hopefully today will be better for both of us.

[@DH-gk8vh]

@ChrisJohnson-lh9qb Ohio. Sometimes I think my husband was the lucky one. He didn't have to go through this

[@jamillialewis931]

I lost my husband in May of this year and I am so lost, I feel like I am in a bad dream. I feel alone and I don't know what to do with myself. I wish besides my therapies If I had someone else to talk to or share some time with that had been where I am now. That might sound bad but this is a lonely place to be in.

[@nickinurse6433]

Please find a support group

[@andrewmyles480]

I know exactly what you are going through. I to just lost my wife of over 40+ years, and feel lost, and that l'm in a nightmare that l can't wake up from. I find that talking to someone who can relate to what you are going through helps. If you want to talk, send me a text message. Take care of yourself, you're stronger than you realize.

[@paulcastelli8049]

So sorry for both of you

[@MySacea]

I get you. I just get you. I feel the same. And that's okay. But it's still though. Sending hugs!

[@netslum12]

Same im in a very lonely place

[@MJ-ku5xt]

My husband died 7 years ago. It was so hard but I know without a doubt I will see him again. Knowing that gives me comfort.

[@chrisjohnson2246]

I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you loved, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on because death is inevitable and we'll all have to face it someday, I lost my wife 3yrs ago to a cardiovascular disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer. I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! it'd be nice if you just say hi, here is my number [phone] or rather you can send me your gmail address so I could reach out on you.

[@abidahkalapa]

I lost my twin sister and the thought of meeting one day is a source of strength.

[@godsloveforthegrievingwido7688]

I totally agree I lost my husband August 1st 2021 today is our 35th wedding anniversary and I am determined to talk about him everyday it does bring great comfort when you talk about them thanks so much for sharing.

[@elanasomekh1125]

All the cliches one hears to mourners give little comfort and more heartaches even when given with the best intentions! Grief will not go away by trying to be strong, nor will it subside by moving on or relating to other things in life that will dull the immensity of the pain. Grief is about facing Grief in every sense of the word and eventually and hopefully one can navigate the rest of our lives without forgetting or trying to get past our memories, but just accepting the reality of a world without a loved one.

[@karensullivan7060]

My husband died a week before Christmas, in 2013. We'd met in college (he was my first love), but went our separate ways. Reunited 25 years later, never expecting that we would have fewer than 8 years together before he died of a heart attack at 59. Our fairy tale was ripped from me and I was devastated. I wrote an alternate reality story, about 2 1/2 years after his death. The story, 156K words, put us back in college in 1974, knowing who we were to each other. I gave him the successful art career he never had the chance to achieve, and of course the luxury of loving him all over again. It was a fabulous do-over. The story was for me alone, since it was full of enriching detail that made it real to me (but would not interest a stranger). In it I recalled his mannerisms, his quirks, his affection for me, and his brilliance and love for God. It was excellent therapy. I reread it just last week. Even though I'm now with a new husband, being able to remember my dear departed this way is very sweet and healing.

[@lyasialeanne]

Much love and prayers to you, Karen. I just lost my boyfriend a week before Christmas too. I will keep you and him in my thoughts.

[@ioncewaslost1762]

I’m going to do this!!!! Ty for the idea,,

[@krisbachynski6330]

Thank you Terri, my David died 5 months ago. This is helping to listen to you. I’m by myself, we had just moved to a new town as he’d just retired, our children live away in different cities. Listening to you gives me some hope as David was the smartest and loving person I know. There are days when I want to give up and be with him and other days I talk to him and can smile.

[@lindadrewl]

I’m in the same situation as you & it helps for me to hear others such as yourself feel the same things I do. We can do this 🙂

[@dawnstangle6674]

My husband died right after retiring and we just moved. I don't know or have anyone. My husband was my knight in shining armor. I want to go and be with him, too.

[@chrisjohnson2246]

@@dawnstangle6674 I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you loved, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on because death is inevitable and we'll all have to face it someday, I lost my wife 3yrs ago to a cardiovascular disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer. I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! it'd be nice if you just say hi, here is my number [phone] or rather you can send me your gmail address so I could reach out on you.

[@daliaramirez3737]

Love your love for your past love one. PLEASE make a difference with whom surrounds you, shine, to where you are satisfied at the end of the day. May God Jehovah bless you with all his Holy Holy blessings, in Jesus Christ Holy Holy name, amen and amen 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️

[@angelalopez2003]

I get this to my very core. My Gabriel was pure JOY... it hurts when people avoid talking about him. He was such a powerful and positive influence on so many lives, especially mine... he STILL matters! It's only been a year and a half, I still cry when I see his name or picture, but some of those tears are happy memory tears.

[@mummabearcuddles7956]

Lost my husband of 30yrs to demons of depression 28/4/18.. living one day at a time as best as I can .. Blessing of healing health happiness harmony kindness safety peace to all .. 🤗💌💝✌🏻

[@cmcc1418]

I was 37 and my wife had just turned 38 when she passed. That was 11 years ago and it has taken years to get to a point were I fell "normal" again. To tell stories about her and not get sad. To remember the good and the bad and not just put her on a pedestal. I have great stories of her and I am glad I can tell them now without feeling like I am going to break down. I love to be able to share stories now with her old friends. I guess the biggest thing to to remember is that everyone grieves differently and those stages of grief are not a hard and fast rule, and are fliud

[@ralphaneelove7679]

Very helpful. I am 38 and my husband of 14 years died the day before my birthday tragically. I have been with this man 22 years and we have a 6 yr old together. This is unbelievable but he will be with us every day.

[@afrahousman1572]

I lost my loving husband a month ago due to covide 19. painful experience. feeling lonely, still crying.

[@danamelton1738]

I'm so sorry for all of your loss. I pray that God covers you with love and comfort not just now but from now on. I pray for peace for you. I pray that one day you'll be able to smile, before you cry, when their names brought up or stories are told or something reminds you of them. Take the time you need and have to give yourself to mourn in your way, feel what you need to feel. But please remember this. Your not alone. Yes I am a stranger but my heart told me to respond to this comment. You are not alone. You may want to be alone at times and that's ok but please remember, everyone of your friends or family have been through heartbreak and loss. It may be in a different way but others know how you feel and as human beings we can share those feelings with each other. None of us are meant to walk through life alone. That's why we are blessed with friends and loved ones or even a stranger with a kind word. Talking about it will lift some of the weight off of you. Your not alone. You deserve happiness and you will get that again even if it doesnt seem that way right now. Your stronger than you think. God bless you. Xo

[@joecardenas4408]

I feel your pain...my husband passed away from covid on 09/03/2021...I like u, still cry everynight...wonder why? Not sure how its supposed to get better...I miss him so much...😭💔

[@AC-tb8el]

@@joecardenas4408 I loss mine too on August 24,2021.They said time can heal all wounds, I don't know if it will be the same for me, all I know now, the pain is the same as the day that God calls him home, nothing change and if forgetting my husband is the only way to ease the pain so let the pain remain forever in my heart. I will pray for all of us Sis, you are not alone🙏 God will never leave us,He will be our strenght in this grieving times...

[@karencramer6491]

Well said, Terri and I wish you love and strength in the future. The hardest thing I find since becoming a widow is that I know people now who never knew my husband existed and when I talk about him, as kind as they are to listen, I could just as easily be talking about a character in a book for all that he means to them.

[@donnak936]

Karen Cramer : I know Exactly what You mean. I was talking about My deceased Husband, in My Office, one day. My Boss asked how long He had been gone. When I mentioned that it had been years, She said, “Oh, the way that You talk about Him, I thought that He had Just Died.” I had to learn to Not Talk about Him to AnyOne. Even My Family stated that, “the way that They Grieved was to NOT Talk About Him, because it Hurt, Too Much.” I Felt SO Alone!! 💔 I Miss Him, Every Day of My Life. And, I Will - Until We Are Together, Again.

[@katiek3396]

I lost my husband back in September of last year. It really hit me, what you said in the beginning about it being a normal day. How it becomes anything but. He was on life support for 24 hrs. He finally couldn't hold on anymore. I remember waiting and waiting to go and see him back there. How I hoped that he would wake up. He never did. My heart will never recover. I became a widow at 33, with children so I can empathize and relate. It's so hard.

[@aaronwilson-albright6909]

I lost my husband a week ago and I am 23. But in the short time I have been grieving this is the most accurate advice I have heard. Talking about him with people who knew him and showing those who didn’t what an amazing person he was.

[@Dramatic519]

Powerful. Brave. Courageous. I look up to you, Terri. Thank you for this.

[@jo-annewilcox162]

Thank you so much for this. My husband died in May 2020. He went into renal failure in 2018, had many complications including pericarditis, two major abdominal surgeries within a forty eight hour period that year. In Feb 2020, he suffered a perforated ulcer and again had emergency surgery. Eight weeks later he slipped into a coma and died alone in the ICU.

[@myrnabeals9224]

Great talk. I like that you use the words died, death and dead. Euphemisms such as lost or passed seem fake to me. I love that you show your daughter it is ok to have tears and talk about her dad.

[@Martin-vu5fl]

Terri, I am so happy that I watched your presentation. You are an inspiration for all. Well done. If you ever want to talk to me, regarding Dave or any other related topic, I am always there for you. Regards, Martin your cousin.

[@lindaquennec6909]

Outstanding. I loved getting to know a little about your Dave, and this wise, wise advice. I remember it being devastating to see the discomfort on peoples' faces when I spoke about my dear, departed Dad, and how it did indeed feel like a second death. We must always feel free to speak about the loved ones we have lost. Thank you.

[@thomasgaouette8897]

I lost my future on August 10, 2023. We had her cremated, and we picked up her ashes on my birthday. I moved to Florida to be with her. We considered ourselves married. She was a light in the life of everyone she met, and my world is darkness without her. I put on a front, but even i know i am broken, and may never heal.

[@karenvosseberg6123]

The talk was extremely helpful. When you got to the part about reading the manuals for fun, I started to think we were partnered with the same person. Vic always said "never pay someone to do something that you can learn to do yourself!" Your talk was what I needed to hear today. Thank you.

[@jericamcbride3659]

I lost my husband a month ago. He had been in the hospital since December 5th, 2022. It hurts and the ache is there everyday.

[@annmarieknapp]

Grieving is such an incredibly personal and excruciating experience. Well it was for me. As an empathic person (Highly Service Person), I feel not only my own emotions, the bleed through of others emotions as if they are mine. It's like a curse.

[@lisawines98]

I understand you. I am an empath. My husband currently has stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Not only do I feel my fear and sadness about his inevitable passing, I feel his as well. It’s so difficult trying to keep it together for him. My heart goes out to you.

[@colleenmucci8863]

@@lisawines98 ... exactly. I too have spent my life "feeling" the mental or emotional state of others, anyone, everyone. My beautiful husband, also stage 4 pancreatic cancer, was clinically told today to prepare for end of life. It feels impossible to live.

[@lisawines98]

@@colleenmucci8863 I’m so sorry. My husband passed away on September 9th, 2021.

[@colleenmucci8863]

@@lisawines98 A "thumbs up" is my only option here, but seems quite, well, wrong. Sending you light and comfort...

[@casualenglishwithamy6951]

My husband died in May of 2016. I still have some bad days... or bad hours...I am pressing forward... Our children still can’t bring themselves to talk about their daddy for too long.

[@chrisjohnson2246]

I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you loved, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on because death is inevitable and we'll all have to face it someday, I lost my wife 3yrs ago to a cardiovascular disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer. I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! it'd be nice if you just say hi, here is my number [phone] or rather you can send me your gmail address so I could reach out on you.

[@sharinirajendran6997]

When my husband died suddenly without so much of a goodbye about 1 month ago, a part within me died. Despite having 3 loving children and loving them immensely, I wish it had been me instead of their father. I'm trying to cope, but there are days I wish I could be with him. Frankly, I can't Iive a life without him but need to carry on for the sake of my children.

[@francesmartel7948]

My Husband died on Thanksgiving, so it was exactly 6 months ago. It seems like people expect me to be normal & self sufficient, but every morning is still difficult.

[@annabellswint5718]

💔 I have a wonderful husband of 28 years, I can't imagine your pain. Prayers for you.

[@FishesAndLoaves997]

Special prayers for you Francis.

[@tamiburoker1211]

That is a very fresh loss! I hope you have someone you can be authentic with, where it's safe to share your pain. My heart goes out to you.

[@francesmartel7948]

@@tamiburoker1211 Thank you 🙏 for your kindness ❤️

[@francesmartel7948]

@@FishesAndLoaves997 Thank you so much ❤️

[@annabellswint5718]

My dad died age 38 MVA..left my mom 37 with 7 kids 13 mo - 9 yr. She cried everyday until her death at age 89. Never remarried, never even dated. She was a great woman! Latina from Ohio.

[@debsantana1182]

My goodness. That must have been hard for you to watch. Were you close to your father?

[@jemstone4805]

my dad passed at 39. we were all traumatized.

[@melodynearlyful]

I understand her grief. What a heartbreak.

[@DC-fw7ie]

My dad was killed in a road accident aged 44. My Mum also never remarried and was an incredible woman. She died 3 years ago aged 67 and was pining for my Dad until the end. They were both wonderful souls

[@tyjimenez2109]

Her story is so close to mine. I was widowed with a 4 month old and a two year old. I also lost my husband in an automobile accident

[@cyyrious]

I’m so sorry for your loss 🥺

[@pallaviperformer]

Thank you so much. I have been talking about my late husband often and this has helped me a lot. This comes as a confirmation am on the right path in healing. Also, I feel this reduces a lot of anxieties with us.

[@biankagasataya7135]

Thank you for sharing your story, and your thoughts. I just lost my husband a month and 3 days ago. My heart is broken into million pieces. He’s not coming back anymore and I miss him everyday.

[@TheCaptnHammer]

I lost my 39 year old wife two weeks ago today. Her birthday is Christmas Eve. It has been extremely hard, especially with a 7 year old little girl. Thanks for sharing your experiences.

[@lyasialeanne]

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Happy early birthday to her 💛

[@haz3lpr1nc355]

9 years later...my kids were 2 and 5 as well when their father passed of cancer. We still talk about Paco and right now it's difficult for my new partner to hear about Paco in great depth. I've tried to help him understand and show him alternatives to his own thought processes on grief. But I know it's between him and God. So I try to keep conversations of Paco to a minimum when my current partner is around as to not make him feel left out. It's a work in progress for him. I know that my healing is progressing healthily

[@alexman9871]

I lost my fiancé of 8 years on July 8th, 2022. She passed in her liver transplant surgery she just wanted to get married and continue our life together. She loved Lilo n Stitch and anything baking related. Our romance and the humor we had gives me comfort everyday. I love my Brianna pie 🥧

[@amyfloren4581]

I am sorry you lost your Brianna😢❤️

[@rosagiron5296]

Speachless! That is what hurts more: close persons, family, friends who reach you and make the moment as if nothing had happened or ignores the life of your dearest, in my case my beloved daughter; and of I mention her or her name: Pamela, they do not continúe the commentary or chat, they just skip it as if they never heard it or as if I had said nothing. Great talk, thanks for showing to the world this side of grief and grieving. God blesses you and your daughters.

[@Lauren-z9g]

My husband die this year. I was alone when I heard they were taking him off life support.. I drove myself to the funeral. But for God and His presence.. I’d have wanted to join my husband.

[@cyyrious]

I’m so sorry for your loss 🥺 I hope you are at peace

[@Lauren-z9g]

@@cyyrious thank you for saying the words that I’ve never heard d

[@sonyavincent7450]

My beautiful husband and life partner of 32 dropped dead in front of me July 2018 of heart attack ♥ my beautiful Alan may you rest in glory till the end of eternity From your ever loving wife Sonya. Xxxxxxx

[@thecomet9999]

Thank you for this talk. My husband committed suicide Dec. 29, 2019. Everything you said is so true. I just want to say your girls have an amazing strong mom and because of that they will be amazing strong moms as well. ✌️

[@thecomet9999]

@Jenny Eklöv Yes I have experienced this too. Even family members have just disappeared from my life. I know for some it's because they just don't know what to say or do. They don't know how to deal with their own grief, how can they deal with someone else's. Others I realize now where not the friends I thought they were. Forever answering the question, "why?" With, "I don't know". You just have to find your peace and make a new life that brings you some kind of joy. You can't live in the past, it will eat you up. ♥️✌️

[@QueenLCSpeaks]

I just lost my husband and I have to stay strong for our children but damn it this is going to be hard without my bestfriend 💔😢

[@georgemcneal3001]

I lost my husband best friend love of my life april 7th 2021 i knew him since i was 14 years old ..i love you pat . each day i take moment by moment to get through it ..i.miss his face heart love for us ..

[@sagarsonicreation2710]

I lost my husband on7may

[@donnaswain1293]

My husband was killed on 03/28/2012 by a semi while on his way to work. I have remarried, but I still think of Michael everyday. He was an amazing husband and dad. 💔

[@donnaswain1293]

@Chris Johnson I think that time doesn’t heal, it makes it different. For the first few years I concentrated on my children. All my thoughts and energy went to them. I was grieving in silence. I still have days where the grief hits me hard. You never get over grief, you go through it. There are peaks and valleys. My kids and I have come to a point where we can remember the silly things Michael use to do, and laugh. I have an amazing new husband who understands about Michael, and actually grew up with Michael and I. He’s been a wonderful step-dad to our son.

[@CynthiaLindgren]

My husband of 24 years died 2 years ago, I was 42. I had to make the decision to take him off life support after a week and watch him die. I was picking out flowers for his funeral on his 49th birthday. Nobody knew what to say to me and still don't. You become a totally different person after something like this, you have to.

[@GeoffOdom-nn4ez]

I have to agree with you. My wife died 3 weeks ago. Some of my co-workers can't even look me in the eye. I get it, they don't know what to say or how to say it. I cry at the changing of the wind and that can really freak people out. I am so sorry you had to make the decision you did. That must have been tough. My wife was 48 and died in her sleep from a heart attack. I never would have guessed a heart attack would take her. Thought we had at least 20 more years.

[@CynthiaLindgren]

@@GeoffOdom-nn4ez I'm so sorry, my husband was also 48 when he passed. I at least had a little time to prepare myself. I cannot imagine if he had passed suddenly. People at work were the same way with me when I came back, could not even look at me. Still when I mention it to people they are shocked and caught off guard or just say I'm so sorry.

[@chrisv.a6008]

Thank you for sharing your experience. I lost my husband earlier this year. It's comforting to hear how you process, how others can help, the comfort that remembering together can bring.

[@lorrindagouchey5984]

I lost my husband on April 17 2023 & it's by far the hardest thing

[@MsLucywolf]

I miss all the references and in jokes my husband and I shared. Nobody else will understand them.

[@chrisjohnson2246]

I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you loved, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on because death is inevitable and we'll all have to face it someday, I lost my wife 3yrs ago to a cardiovascular disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer. I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! it'd be nice if you just say hi, here is my number [phone] or rather you can send me your gmail address so I could reach out on you.

[@karensullivan7060]

I know exactly what you mean. It was a bitter and horrible time after my husband died. I used to say to him, "If we were on the run through the woods with nothing, I would have everything as long as I had you." And when he was gone, the world kept moving. I hated that. And after a few months, people were rather tired of my grief, which lasted for years. I was in a pit so deep I didn't even want to raise my head to see how deep. All I could do was go to work and pay my bills. At last, I turned to God and asked for help, and finally I was ready to fill the void with life again.

[@gloriatrevino2978]

I just lost my husband to covid,I'm so sad.we were married 53 yrs.I cry everyday.sometimes I feel people are tired of hearing me talking about him and crying. I can't help it it hurts so bad.he died July 25th

[@annlinden1596]

Thank you so very much. This is so helpful to me. My wonderful husband, JIm passed away unexpectedly a year ago and everything you said so beautifully was how I have been feeling! Thank you 😊

[@Len-yy3ox]

Thank you for your husband's courage,caring and sacrifice.God bless you.

[@allysonzammito327]

As soon as you mentioned the sunflower seeds I laughed. I myself have a HUGE seed addiction problem. My late husband hated when I would eat seeds the cracking sounds it drove him nuts. 💗

[@vimbaimuyangi6705]

Lost the love of my life, my husband a, my best friend, my pastor, my mentor and the father of my 4 kids last month and i feel like giving up. The pain is horrible and looking back i dont see how how i will ever be normal.

[@fireflies192]

My husband Jeremy passed away 3 weeks ago. I miss you a lot Jeremy I hope you know I loved you and I will keep on loving you I love you Jeremy ❤💙❤💙❤

[@corriejungschlager2231]

I lost the love of my life a month ago, I just don't see a way forward, she was my everything

[@MZP3T4]

I lost my husband 10/21/21 he was 32. It seems unbearable some days and you don’t feel strong but you truly are getting stronger day by day. I wish you healing

[@bridgettenney4671]

I lost my Bridget 4 1/2 years ago. I still use her Google account. I have moved forward in my life and met someone that also lost their spouse. It is refreshing that I can tell Bridget's stories and there is no jealousy or threat. I get to hear about the amazing husband she had. Our people we lost helped shape who we are and should always be celebrated. I would encourage you to join a grief group or consider a grief counselor, it helped me tremendously.

[@Michelina22]

Beautiful, Unfortunately we’ve all been through horrific loss. God got me through every time. 🙏🏼✝️🙏🏼✝️🙏🏼✝️🙏🏼