The hidden opportunity behind every rejection | Jia Jiang | TEDxMtHood

[@AllyssaALewis]

This talk has got me so pumped! The 4 key points I took away from it are: 1. Don’t Run! Engage the Situation. 2. Ask “Why” & Pay Attention to the Answer. 3. Mirror the Mentality & Confront the Fears of the Rejector. 4. Ask for What You Want Until You Get it! All of life is a numbers game. At some point someone’s going to give you a “yes”! Thank you so much Jia for doing this talk, and TEDx for hosting!

[@thisdudesam4332]

Allyssa Lewis - Bam. Been in sales for 15 years. And I am an extreme introvert. I made a decision at 17 I wanted to be successful and ran after rejections!

[@elizabethbennet4791]

They LIE when they give you the answer- you know that? They just dont want to hurt your feelings.

[@cymbidiumm]

Thanks! This will be very handy to keep in mind on the daily situation :)

[@beardedonpoint1366]

Thanks Allyssa - so well captured - awesome - saved me from having to write it down. You rock

[@tingye326]

Awesome summary, thanks!

[@SuperTruthful]

I was going to bypass this video...reject him. Then I thought, why? Let me listen for a minute. I'm glad I did. I learned a lot.

[@leizdutra9377]

Exactly, the same with me

[@samiajre6852]

i click because he is asian LOL i felt he has good story and experience to share

[@UniversalMysticsOfChrist]

Me too!

[@chezy8148]

I thought the same thing! I’m also glad I stayed and listened

[@petsloveonly]

So get you!

[@theoneandonly9298]

This is one of the best Ted talks EVER! I have a big fear of rejection. This was insightful and humorous. Well done, sir! I dont know why this doesnt have at least a million views.

[@patriciaelenabecker-spellm5070]

This definitely gives new meaning to the phrase "What would you try, if you knew you couldn't fail?" Jia Jiang makes getting rejected actually sound like fun! So bring it on, rejection... I'm not afraid of you any more. I will embrace you when you arrive. Ha!

[@jazzmanny02]

Yeah, that is true i am so afraid of rejection its the worst feeling for me, but something in me is like i want to say how i feel about people and yet afraid to tell them for fear of rejection its so tough

[@leylakalukoco8788]

This is probably one of the best decisions of my life; to have clicked on the video. I learned a lot. My biggest fear is rejection. I used to be weird when I was in elementary. My English wasn't too good either. I was too tom boy for most of the girls in my school and ugly for the boys, didn't get along with either genders too well. Even outside of school. With family friends, where you are practically forced to befriend the daughter or son of your parents friend, play with them in the park etc.. Those family friends grew up not to invite me when they had lunches together, or go on a hike etc. It would hurt a lot especially when I see their pictures together on social media. I tried having it not bother me, not think about it, push it aside and continue in my bubbly personality where I was always down to do fun activities and hide my feelings. But it stayed in the back of my head, and every time I get rejected, I remember the past. It kinda does upset me. But in middle school and high school, I was very athletic. Good in every sport. In gym class I was always picked first to be on teams because of my skills and talent. One of the only times I felt I had advantage, I had opportunity over others. It felt good, too good. Cause right when that gym class ended everything was back to normal. In some days I felt superiority over those who were picked last in gym class. But then I would feel really bad because I would remember how it is for me outside of gym class. Later I started making an effort to pick those who were usually picked last, to be picked in the beginning. I realised every time there is a team picking, the weak will end up on both teams regardless. So I wanted to make them feel good. Not rejected. And that is how I started feeling good on the inside too. Because I would always see the sigh of relief when I call their names or their muscles relax when they realise that for the first time they are actually not last.

[@thisdudesam4332]

Khadija Chamseddin - Awesome. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing.

[@elizabethbennet4791]

i think youre pretty, and very sweet Khadija

[@eudyu324]

So inspired by your story !!

[@davidwebb5367]

Leyla Kalukoco I was hoping to hear the rest of the story.

[@ghazikutbi3206]

Leyla: If you are still there please be close to Kamala Harris, she needs you

[@CanYouKeepA_Secret]

I've never felt like I want to be rejected before... until now. I love burger refill and flower planting idea. Thank you.

[@SRCreativeStudios]

One of the best TED talks I've seen. Very inspiring and funny! Well done Jia! I see a lot of myself in your stories!

[@generalyousif3640]

This video helps establish that one’s worst enemy is himself and how society puts unnecessary on a person being someone that society expects, instead of what a person expects out of himself. Rejection at many instances is the first step of progress to success.

[@dylanmyrick7297]

Man; I have been rejected so many times in life ; but each time i take it as something to strive to active/concour, weather it be adulting, work; where I want to go or who I want to be ...its gotten me this far so I guess keep pushing....this gave me life. Thanks for sharing!

[@Cratees]

Magnetic and immensely profound, God bless this man.

[@YoungSeoul]

This was really funny and insightful. He told his story really well and turned his vulnerability into a tool. Great story Jia!

[@Pedro-lp2kj]

i was rejected today in a job interview, but it's ok it's not the end of the world :)

[@bonolob2596]

Literally me today 🤗

[@NavyLady82]

Wasn't the right job.

[@rochajean]

Me today

[@lynnmazloum3496]

And myself twice in the last month, within my company and track record of outstanding performance. I guess I'm trying to take the time to pause and think about the why and how to do better at interviews, and probably focus on thinking that there probably are good reason I didn't get any of those, and better opportunities will come ahead.

[@RiseAboveRoots987]

And myself more than 10 interviews throughout last two years 😢

[@bittersweetkark]

Why does this not have more views? This is gold!

[@johnzx14rk94]

I fell asleep at 2.30am listening to a meditation lesson because I can't get myself going again, I have lost my way, thinking I an to old and awakened at 4:34am to hear this Ted Talk video. What a great young man, the human cycle continues... Thanks Jia Jiang

[@joehernandez7872]

From the first minute to the last minute Jia fills us with a powerful idea . . . replace your fear with curiosity. Straight from the heart. The best.

[@emmanuelsmabena7712]

I have been watching youtube videos for over 5yrs now but never commented on any video. I'm happy I'm watching this video now coz I'm learning things I've never learned before, or just hardly taught. This honestly is strengthening my confidence in wanting to do a lot of things that I actually never thought I'd wanna do.

[@aggeebaza6513]

Well said man!!, fear of failing or getting rejected will never get you somewhere in life... I learned something over the past few years that in order to be happy or successful in life you have to be able to fail ''BIG'' and it's something that most of us or afraid of doing. The video was so inspirational thanks for sharing.

[@whitebutterfly7966]

你是一个又幽默又诚实的人，太谢谢你！

[@soloman9448]

这哥们儿让华人、西人都有共鸣了，准备去买他的书看了，叫Rejection Proof好像

[@cefarther3945]

The most dynamic TedX ever made. Well Done!

[@mkjacobmakimare6840]

Embrace rejection, stay engaged, ask why these are awesome advices. Loved the humor and life lessons! Blessings.

[@FunnyAnimalsLife01]

I saw a short video, and I also rejected it, but then later, I searched the full version. Thank God I got it, and I learned alot

[@trishayun1212]

Don't run just embrace the rejection and ask why! Rejection has another gift named transition which means a hidden present in life :)

[@ktmduke9710]

Thanks

[@Joocyknt]

This makes me want to get out there and overcome my own fear of rejection! Thank you Jia.

[@nikhilsukumar23]

Best Ted Talk ever. Humorous approach to rejection is the best option. How wrong I was. Humour wins any pain. Any!

[@tyoisme]

KEBENARAN DI BALIK LUKA PENGABAIAN Pengabaian menggores luka dengan pelbagai macam nama: tidak diterima, tidak disambut, merasa terancam, merasa tidak berharga. Diabaikan membuat kau bertanya, “Kenapa harus aku?” Pertanyaan itu tak pernah terjawab, tapi yang pasti pengabaian membuat korban mengisolasi diri jauh-jauh dari dunia, melarikan diri dari semua hal. Korban pengabaian bisa merasa bahwa semua orang tidak peduli kepadanya, lantas, kenapa pula aku harus peduli pada diri sendiri? Berkenalan dengan orang baru, dengan sebanyak-banyaknya orang baru, hanya solusi premature. Pada akhirnya, kesepian akan datang, kesepian yang bisa datang meskipun kita punya banyak teman. Kesepian itu datang dari satu hal sederhana, ketika kau kehilangan koneksi intim dengan seseorang. Berkenala, mengembara, merantau, memarani dari satu negeri ke negeri lain juga bukan jawaban. Berkelana, atau sering disebut “healing”, diakui atau tidak, sering menjadi upaya melarikan diri dari masalah. Sayang sekali itu keliru Kita tidak pernah melarikan diri dari masalah ketiba tiba di Prancis, atau Turki, atau Rusia, masalah itu selalu bersama kau kemanapun kau pergi. Masalah itu, pengabaian itu, tidak akan raib secara ajaib. Pendapat Victor Frank barangkali bisa meredakan sedikit luka penolakan: “Kemerdekaan terakhir manusia adalah kemampuan kita untuk memberi makna terhadap apa yang terjadi pada kita.” Kebenaran di balik penolakan bukanlah pertanyaan “kenapa harus aku?”, melainkan pernyataan “memang aku”. Kau bukan satu-satunya korban penolakan, aku pun begitu, orang asing di luar sana pun mengalami luka serupa, setiap hari, dan itu sama sekali tidak apa-apa. @tyologi

[@bytecode5834]

This guy is a legend

[@sonsofhexico]

This is a lesson every single American needs to learn. Every single one. The problems we have here stem from these same fears and because of those fears coping mechanisms specifically the coping mechanism of blame shifting. Blaming someone else for your failures or situations. That blame shifting produces increased dependency on government (other people by force) largely fueled by those who learned this lesson and applied it successfully. It produces hatred for these people. Hatred for those who don’t run. Blaming the successful for somehow keeping down. It fuels race division. It fuels class division. It fuels political division. It strips rights and degrades our Constitution. Accept responsibility for your life and stop running from your fears. Realize you are in control and only you are responsible for who you are where you are and your situations.

[@charleneclare2572]

An amazing, self-examining and thought provoking concept. He has a beautiful gift of understanding and an ability to deliver his message in a funny and yet thought provoking way!

[@ayeishaj9281]

Jia Jiang, you are genuinely a good person and this reflects through your talk. Like you said- The reaction after the rejection defines you, I completely agree with you. I feel inspired.

[@emilyh6926]

Bless you, what a softie you were as kid! well, it's deffo helped to shape you into a wonderfully intelligent, sweet and humorous person as an adult!

[@jaimeteaspoon]

Wow!! I love TED talks but this is probably the best I've ever seen. Great insight

[@athensronyrony4083]

Excellent...one of the best one I have seen......After graduation when I had many interviews with rejection I was really very upset ..and to say I was just married with my fiancé ...you can imagine my situation...and Finally I got a Job at Mitsubishi ... Thanks to Company for giving me an opportunity at the time of need..

[@manjupraveen8205]

Wow nice. Rejection makes a person more strong. it's true.

[@sohilgeorge1244]

You talk answered a lot of questions I had piling up for years .. very liberating ... and loved your humor 👍👏✌🏻️

[@ladybug1246]

This talk is one of the best inspiring talks i have ever heard!!!

[@hearty1240]

In other word, is to believe that you deserve to take up space ♥️. Wonderful speech, especially for an introverted and shy person like me. Used to be, I was so scared to take up space. So I rarely ever asked.

[@TheBreemad]

One of the best Ted Talks I've ever listened to. So practical.

[@dollyb5830]

No is a powerful word. Thank you for taking some of that power away.

[@hurryslow1]

You really struck a nerve with me. And I also think you do that all of the time to everybody you share this with. Bless you for opening my eyes. Bless you and thank you for helping millions facing their demons too and then overcoming them.

[@radiantriley1689]

“What I offered did not fit what he wanted”

[@youtubelearning2990]

His book changed my life

[@izzahmasinin2656]

This is so inspiring. You don't know how much this has changed the way I view things and life. I was crying.

[@dragonhold4]

Every character he portrays knows this lesson so well, it seems a little rejection in role is an accepted challenge for actor Leonardo Dicaprio.

[@shaniroga]

Loved this talk - agreed - one of the BEST!

[@thisdudesam4332]

Saved to my favs. Love this. Just began to homeschool my daughters. Going out and getting rejected will be part of this semester's curriculum.

[@aswinganeshraja6]

I have started a business and I too undergo what you were facing, fear of rejection! I tried giving pamphlets in public yesterday, but I failed as I felt doing that is embarrassing. I came back running, ashamed of myself for not doing it. Today I am going to try doing again, hopefully succeed this time!

[@leizdutra9377]

How did it go?

[@eljorisluypaert]

The solution is giving your own pamflets out with those of some other business. It creates a little mental distance that is beneficial in overcoming your initial fears. As soon as you are also doing something for someone else, personal emotions become less dominant.

[@nikhilsukumar23]

Ashwin C did you succeed?

[@cgullcharlie]

@@nikhilsukumar23 Maybe a better question isn't to ask if the outcome is tied to success, but instead "Did you learn?" because if its something his own person rejects, it could be telling him that he is doing something he thinks is right for him but actually its not the right direction for him in which case what he learns about himself is the success.

[@Veeyah19]

This was wonderful. Makes you realize that a lot of biases we feel on a day to day bases is all in our head. Simply asking why, may really help you get a better understanding. Facing it head on is something myself and a lot of others need to do. Thanks for the great talk!

[@etumnumatthew2286]

thank you for your insights on rejection and how to go about dealing it. Don't run! Engage the situation is what i really got from this...facing your fears head-on. Thank you once again

[@azmarkhan2706]

rejection hurt but it is a blessing. very nice speech to hear

[@Frank-ew8kv]

Thanks Jia Jiang at 56 I re learn from you indeed.

[@nikhilsukumar23]

Frank Ng that's heart warming to know. Life is about finding the truth about yourself and never about age. Never! Life begins new chapters every day. Embrace it and please do respond to my reply. Will you reject my proposal to a collaboration vlog or video or blog post?

[@Michaelbeachcoach]

My new friend Kristin recommended this and it was as great as she said it would be. Wonderful TED Talk. Go Jia Jiang! Keep on crushing your fear of rejection!

[@KayKrazie]

a story about rejection and only got 30,000 views since 2015. he need more view!

[@samueldegirona9466]

Absolutely one of the best Ted Talks I’ve ever seen. Thank you for making me giggle and embrace rejection- you are a game changer.

[@thisdudesam4332]

"be a better leader, a better person"

[@katiehare8319]

I love the Olympic donut story! He turns his fear of rejection into a fun game and the results lead to surprising moments of connection. Great talk :)

[@ochiaichannel1189]

I understand exactly what he is talking about as I have tried 2000 doors a day as a salesman, and his experiments and he as a person are truly admirable. However, none of you is brave and strong enough - if not crazy enough - to keep doing this if you ever started it. And there is a good reason: You would just get so stressed out. People tell you things and you will be reduced to a nonhuman. Just be a human, brush up your skills and do what you are good at.

[@911Salvage]

I don't really like the topic, but was engaged through the entire video. Great presentation; in a second language, no less.

[@deleyton]

Amazing amazing amazing talk Jia. What an inspiration and example to many of us, you got out of your comfort zone and at the end got comfortable with it, and it paid off. Congrats and thanks for this!

[@JiaJiang]

Dennis Leyton Thank you, Dennis! Go destroy your comfort zone yourself!

[@yemi1able]

Wow! Amazing! Thank you so much for sharing your story sir. I needed to hear this. I love how you turned a challenge into a victory. My car just stopped working all of a sudden as o pull up to buy gas at a gas station day before yesterday. Needless to say that I was more embarrassed than I was worried about what was wrong with my car. No, it’s not that I ran out of gas, it was because my battery just went to sleep on me. Because it was back working as soon as my husband arrived and helped me to jump start it. However, there were many form of rejections that I was feeling before my husband arrived. Not quite up to a minute that my car stopped as I was pulling towards the first gas pump out of the three pumps on the row that I was in, a lady jumped in front of me, and was asking me to back up. To whom I was shocked by her lack of patience and concern as to why it is taking me a minute to get my car to where she was trying to force herself. As if that was not bad enough, the lady on the other side of the gas pump that I was trying to get to start yelling at me. She felt that it was her moment to show her loyalty to African American woman like her, since to them I am an African in America: I m the one who came by plane. Anyway, both of them came charging at me, screaming, yelling, cursing, calling me a liar, and every other name in a book. All eyes at Cosco’s gigantic gas station was on me. I felt so embarrassed and rejected. No one cares to ask what exactly was going on, not even the gas station attendant as he paces up and down to talk to other drivers, leaving me at the mercy of these two between 30 and 50 year old bullies. Already battling low self esteem, depression, and suicide, I could not say one word to defend myself from these women as I felt the WHOLE UNIVERSE STARING AT ME. I finally managed to say, “I’m going to pray for you,”, to the woman that I was directly involved with. When the woman on the other side of the gas pump responded, “how can you pray for her when you are the one lying.” There, she calls me a liar again. I woke up yesterday couldn’t go out to work. I felt like the world rejected me yesterday, so why even bother go out today? But watching this video, I see how I could have asked them, why they chose to attack me, rather than ask how they could have helped.

[@r0bzii]

excellent talk. they teach a similar way to men who fear getting rejected by women. basically challenge them to get rejected by as many women as possible until they get desensitized and learn social interactions along the way. one thing i didnt understand was why his challenges had no real investment. like, he didnt really care if he got a olympic donut. so the rejection is so minimal.. yet it worked for him..

[@uaintseememaaan8901]

This was good. Ask "why", folks. Ask "why".

[@truemessage77]

I've lost a bunch of opportunities because of fear of rejection 😭

[@rblock707]

This guy has balls of steel.

[@rodrigovazquezoficial]

You're amazing! You have changed my life too! Tks Jia Jiang!

[@tbhv]

this definitely needs more views!

[@bolognasangwich]

This is absolute gold. Bravo, sir.

[@sharmainenadela7034]

This changed my whole life. Thank you so much Jia! ❤️

[@pgro12849]

This video changed my life ! I am grateful for this message this has helped me thank you !

wow, das haut mich um. Was für eine großartige Idee - und so einfach nachzumachen. Ja, weg mit den Bilder unserer Kränkungen aus alten Tagen. Herrlich.

[@sohilgeorge1244]

Greta Silver - zu jung fürs Alter ...?? Ya dude .. that's right.. exactly the point ..!!

[@triwardati3270]

The best TED Talk ever. Love the way you mixed humour and rejection. Can I have your fresh TED Refills?

[@multiphonicgoo]

Telling stories is a great sales technique!

[@bassgarg3077]

OMG One of the best Tedx videos I've gone through I'm gonna try this as well and see what good can this bring for me Cheers man for making this video.

[@Mrs.MylaJones]

I almost bypassed the video too. I'm glad I didn't: it's lifechanging. Actually one of the best TEDx talks.

[@richardking1561]

Brilliant man! Learned a lot listening to him and I felt better.

[@kevinnash7514]

What inspirational talk!!! Thank you for the valuable information.

[@auser2721]

It’s because others projection, nothing more. Our wishes rule the choices

[@wellbodisalone]

Fear of rejection is normal. However, it's sometimes the only way for you to see what you're made of.

[@steffiehallasgo2649]

Awesome! Thanks Jia, I know your a humble man.

[@shegordon2133]

Wow!! I'm so touched by your story Jia. I have been going through some things, similar to what you talked about, and I had no idea that there were people out there willing to just go out and experiment like this - even at the chance of looking like an idiot or being laughed at. But then again that's the point of this. I want to learn to crush my comfort zone like you have. I can't say I will try your method or these exercises right away, but I will. Mr Jiang, I just want to say you've inspired me. Thanks for sharing something so painstakingly embarrassing, and letting others know it will be alright if we keep moving, even wit the bold 'Nos'.

[@anthonyuchennaabea910]

Allyssa Lewis, exactly me too ! I mean it's educative, inspiring, thought-provoking and indeed challenging. All combined together are the very good ingredients of a self-made successful entrepreneur or career genius! Thank you so so much Jia. . .

[@srikanthkuthuru7773]

This is my favourite TED talk !!

[@charsydney9252]

hats off to Jia Jiang! I am a fan!!! You are so inspiring!

[@damienlancry3216]

This guy is my hero

[@bellyfluff101]

Super TED-TALK. Charmingly said...

[@marloucabalo4897]

Best video of how overcoming rejection so far. Well done|!

[@hoffaeable]

This guy is a great speaker, learned a lot too, great video!

[@intrepidtomato]

I love this talk so much! I love especially that all the requests that you picked were so innocent. I was sort of prepared for a 'pick up artist' style series of social experiments. But all of the requests that you chose were just a bit weird! Very nice presentation. See, we're all writing you some compliments now.

[@sparkwaymedia]

Great inspiring talk.. Actually never noticed how much rejection bothered me.. Thanks a lot for this funny and awesome talk..

[@howmoon67]

This is so funny. One of the funniest TED Talks I have listened to. Thank you for presenting this talk.

[@annieannie1630]

Thank you. This is a very interesting talk. I learn to treat my fear like a little child who wants to be met and understood, then the child would gradually grow up by time, with courage.

[@martinhoangnguyen1691]

This video is really amazing .. And so entertaining all the way through. Powerful, thought provoking, you will be moved in some way! Thank you for sharing this with all of us! Love from Sydney x

[@susan-sn7jg]

Love your presentation. Very helpful!

[@jadehunter7617]

That was a Wonderful speech, Thankyou for sharing about Rejection. What a Great way to show a person. It's amazing what you can do if you don't allow fear to hold you back. Be Safe, Have a Wonderful day.

[@melaniewied.7337]

This is really beautiful! Thanks for that.

[@eileenmacdougall8945]

Thank you Jia. This is important information. Thank you for your bravery, and sharing it with us.

[@evetteferreira3877]

WOW. JUST WHAT I NEEDED TODAY.

[@d.williams7345]

Favorite Ted talk ever!

[@thecitizenjoan]

I’m Crying that was beautiful thanx man

[@kathivalenti8639]

Very encouraging Jia Jiang, I'm glad I had the chance to watch very good advice.

[@funwithrandom360]

wow this was surprisingly good! highly recommended