How to Talk to Someone Who is Locked in and Living with Dementia

[@Lucailey]

Yes!! this! I am working at a nursing home and dealing with all the time! It is exhausting and sad and maddening all at once. I even had resident missing her daughter during this time ask if she was going to die there and telling me that she feels all alone - because of this sickness. I told her I am thre for her and she isn't alone but, in so many ways - dealing with all of this we all feel alone.I work on the Dementia unit without the stability of getting to see their family - and from feeding off our anxiety that it is really tough. I want to thank you for giving a nod to this situation Teepa. Everyone is thanking emergency personal and all of that but folks really need to remember to pray for us nursing home workers. This is so hard on everyone. I wish with all of my heart that I could kind of "replace" a family visit by being there by myself. I know i can't do that but, I am trying super hard to be there for them and yes, I need to admit this video has me all teared up. I love my residents so much (lost my own parents so, I really do think of these residents as my family and I try so so hard to treat them as such.) I just really really want to thank Teepa and thank all the people that are trusting us nursing home workers with their loved ones. I am lucky that I am the activities person and my day revolves around trying to make them happy, busy and feeling good.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Live Laugh Love Thank you for doing all that you do to give people connection and let them know and feel that they are not alone. We appreciate you!

[@Ginger51937]

During the worst of my Lewy body dementia-like symptoms when my son told me during the Covid crisis he couldn't see me for two months in the nursing home I was convinced he was using that excuse to abandon me. It was so comforting eventually, when accidentally, I was able to see on TV people wearing masks. Reality checking would have helped me through a miserable lonely time. I'm home now recovered from whatever caused me to be bedridden, paranoid, anorexic, aphasic, delusional, hallucinating for 2 years after antipsychotics were withdrawn during hospice. I only hope my experience could be of help in understanding dementia.

[@muppetbaby1000]

Wow. Thank you for sharing. I am glad you are doing so much better.🌷

[@JoanieJoeMcCraw]

My mother would have said “I don’t care about other people”. This journey has been tough to create/find the right response to keep the Mom and Stepmom calm and content. These videos are great! Thank you!!!

[@curtiszzzchicago]

I've been learning about this with pretty much the exact same conversations for 6 months. Thanks.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @Curtis ZZZ, thanks for sharing. We are glad to know that you appreciate our videos. If you like this one, consider checking out more on our channel (kzbin.info/door/SXrEX7LkWOmfTaV6u1C7wQ) or you might find our website interesting (www.teepasnow.com).

[@mikeypwn]

Thank you for taking the time to create this video! It was very well done, informative, and I will watch it again in the future. I have a client from work who now lives in a nursing home. I have been thinking a lot about how she might be coping due to the lockdowns of care facilities. I am sure it is a very confusing and stressful time with the loss of contact....aside from all of the issues with Covid-19.

[@christusvincit6696]

Teepa. My MIL is fixated on moving house. She has moved many times in the past 17 years I have known her. This has increased since the onset of dementia. She is in constant misery. At first we placated her. The last retirement community she was in we moved her several times. From apartment to apartment. Now we have her in a small group home. How do we handle the constant demand to move house?? This most recent place is a blessing. They are loving, patient and very helpful. She is still miserable.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Sounds like you have been very flexible and skilled at helping to meet her needs! Please reach out to us so we can get connected and help you figure out some other things to try. We do not discuss details on public forums to protect privacy: teepasnow.com/services/consulting/phone-consultations/

[@mosessupposes2571]

Thank you. This is a treasure.

[@teepasnowvideos]

You're very welcome, @Moses Supposes! So glad that you found this video a treasure. If you like this, you may want to consider subscribing to our KZbin Channel (kzbin.info/door/SXrEX7LkWOmfTaV6u1C7wQ) so that you can be notified when we post new information. You may also want to check out our website, www.teepasnow.com to learn even more.

[@PauleMorboisNotNumber]

fantastic video and trials in conversation between people who are not on the same cognitive level. True enough in what you have said in your comment Mrs Teepa Snow, the calendar date is much more specific to the person on the video. However, while watching, people can develop their own coping conversation within their own situations. i think, a video only gives important clues on how, when, where, what or why. The rest of the conversation in their own times, will then have (at least for one of the person on the phone) a base where to start and develop.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Yes! That is exactly why we create these videos...to help. We certainly cannot provide a script for these conversations as each person and their relationships are unique.

[@rachellloydrowett4144]

I wish I had known about you during lockdown, might have helped me so much, especially when we coming out of & I could see my mum again. Really wish I could be trained by you, so I can share/teach others

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @Rachel Lloyd rowett, I'm sorry you didn't find us sooner, but you can get trained by us (Teepa's Team). We offer a number of courses that might help you. Please check out our Care Partner Support (teepasnow.com/services/consulting/care-partner-support-series/) or Champion Courses (teepasnow.com/services/one-day-public-skills-champion-course/) for just a few.

[@rachellloydrowett4144]

@@teepasnowvideos I am in the UK & have limited money as I can't work. My mum was helping me pay for things. But my brother has lasting power of attorney on her finances & don't think he would pay for me to do. As he still thinks there should be an answer like cancer on her diagnosis, even though I have said, her mental health have said & care home have said. I actually wonder who is wearing the blinkers on this. I have shared everything I have been learning to others, including an Alzheimer's group & they all rate you highly. This should be taught in schools

[@DianaRojas-hn3xh]

Thank you stay healthy and safe ❣

[@laurahendrie3896]

Man, that was a great video! I really liked seeing it done the 'typical' way and then doing it the creative, positive way.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Thank you! Let us know if you have ideas for other videos that might help people who are navigating care and relationships amidst the current state of ever-changing circumstance.

[@vmt3294]

Teepa, thank you so much for your guidance. My mom is still home and I have a dedicated care worker for her during the week. I am over there all weekend and she is so confused about all of this. As usual, your broadcast helped me .

[@JodyLynxMusic]

Hi Teepa, I am new to working in dementia care. I have a lady who screams and yells she can't find her daughter's number. I have a paper with large numbers with her daughters phone number and read them to her and she screams it's not the right number and where is the number or says that's not my number it belongs to someone else, I need my number. She says she cannot remember what the number is she needs. I offer to take her to call her daughter and she screams she doesn't want anyone to move her in her wheelchair and she wants to stay where she is. Do you have any advice?

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hey Jody, wow - seems like you have a very challenging situation. This is Dan from Teepa's team, and I'm sorry it has taken us so long to reply to you. I'd love to be able to give you a quick fix or easy solution, but I don't know that there is one. If you'd like to talk with someone on our team to help you explore this a bit more, please reach out to us at [e-mail] for a free 30-minute consultation. If you'd like to speak with Teepa herself, you can book a private consultation by clicking here: teepasnow.com/product/private-virtual-consultation-with-teepa/

[@lindaknapp3541]

…and so it goes. Linda Knapp, MS, CCC-SLP

[@carolynnr.6409]

No way! It is just another thing for Mom to forget. I guess Beth will just have to keep it up with the same story over and over again. ( for more than 7 months )

[@teepasnowvideos]

I can tell you're thinking this is not gonna help! Sorry it wasn't helpful for you. Let us know if you wanna chat and figure out what might work for you. You can connect with us via our website.

[@carolynnr.6409]

@@teepasnowvideos It is useful to give Mom the sense of helping. It is discouraging to watch this March video and here in October we still have this lock down. It's a 3 deep breath and exhale moment. That's all.

[@janetfishwick8887]

My 94 year old mother lives a locked in permanent life because she has no idea of day, time, year or seasons. Mother has stage 5 Alzheimers and has lived alone for 32 years. Mother is anti social and relishes her own company. She refuses to attend any social events with her peers in the community and is non compliant in almost every walk of life. She refuses to wear hearing aids, glasses or slippers in her bungalow and is practically housebound. Mother is under the supervision of Adult Social Care Home Services and has carers twice a day. She is obsessed with her heating system and rings my sister until the early hours asking for it to be turned off. She goes round her bungalow and cannot understand why her radiators are still warm when the system is actually off. Mother is now unable to use her microwave, oven or hob to prepare her paltry evening meal. Her carer is now instructing her on how to use the microwave. Her cooker will be disconnected due to a health and safety risk for her and her home. There is no solution for mother at present and we have to wait for the next problem and dilemma to arise.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hello @Janet. It's Cheryl from Teepa's team. Thanks for watching How to Talk to Someone Who is Locked in and Living with Dementia with Teepa. Thank you as well for recognizing what needs to change, that is our goal too!! Here is Teepa's mission: teepasnow.com/about/pac-mission-and-values/ Teepa believes that when people know better, they will do better! Help us bring awareness and knowledge to everyone by sharing and subscribing!! Here is another free resource you may like: (teepasnow.com/about-dementia/) Janet are you aware that PAC offers 30 minute free consults with a PAC Consultant to explore strategies with you further to support you and your PLwD. As well please take a look at our Care Partner Support Series by clicking here : teepasnow.com/services/consulting/

[@gloriannepapolis6525]

"Bye mom talk later" and hang up, family members are killing themselves caring for family members that are out of it and cannot think of how they are stressing you

[@teepasnowvideos]

So for you, hanging up is the way to go. I wonder how the mom in this situation might respond...

[@passionatesingle]

How uncaring you sound! Would hate to have you as a daughter!!

[@gloriannepapolis6525]

Full circle, now she is caring for her mom like a child, how exhausting,

[@teepasnowvideos]

Ah...but her mom is not a child. So how do we walk that fine line?