Telling People You’re Transitioning

[@The4DRY4N]

shoutout ben for being ben

[@hammerth1421]

I had one person in my high school year who I knew was very smart - I'd talk to them about stuff like astrophysics - but they'd always underperform academically. Always distracted, always struggling to keep up. Well, turns out she's trans. In retrospect, everything makes sense. It was the dysphoria and the daydreaming about being her real self that were holding her back. She moved quite far away to study art, so I don't really interact with her anymore, but it was nice to get closure on this person I was getting rather concerned for.

[@RenaOrSomething1]

That's actually a really sweet story thank you for sharing it

[@JTH_Story]

Hope Americans are doing okay,we support u and hope things get betterx

[@itmonowhere]

Icky lore expands, we got a new character

[@Memu_]

He's not new though.

[@rdouthwaite]

@@itmonowhere just bumped up from occasional to recurring.

[@sadvillain3628]

Came out to my mum last week she made it all about her self and how I’m ruining her dream of having a son and daughter that she’s had since she was a child, and how me knowing for 6 years isn’t enough to be sure. Yay

[@Speederzzz]

Kids aren't like a car, you don't have them to have a nice thing. You're an independent person!

[@Garnansoa]

you deserve so much better

[@alwaysbored1700]

Based on recent events, a significant number of people are going to be ignoring this advice for four years I love all my little Blahajs in the replies. Love from Canada all of us can make it through

[@Harper_Sloane]

Can confirm. I am one of those people. A handful of people that I trust know, but I'm definitely not out of the closet

[@karmachameleon326]

It is a very humbling moment when you realize that slightly more than half of the nation hates you.

[@-Mushroom_Kid-]

@@Harper_Sloaneyeah me either I was close to coming out but now I’m not so sure

[@Stormix9]

i am deeply sorry for all trans people in the US for everything thats gonna happen in the next few years

[@Top1-p2x]

there is a whole ass world outside of USA

[@kristenisher]

trans woman here, been on HRT for almost 3 years, fully out for 2. transitioning has deepened my friendships with almost all my cishet guy friends, because i’m truly able to be myself without holding back. it doesn’t always go that way, but you also learn to recognise and deal with more subtle signs of prejudice and disrespect. great vid - it’s so important to normalise these conversations for cis and trans ppl alike!

[@kristenisher]

also, you know your cishet guy friends are cool when you can joke about trans stuff with them affectionately. you’re not one of the boys anymore, but that closeness is still there

[@SunIsLost]

Yep

[@SunIsLost]

​@@kristenisheryea

[@Keira-k3n]

@@kristenisher yeah, as another trans woman, my cishet guy friends are cool like yours

[@joshuamercado6885]

How old were you when you transitioned

[@edurossob9907]

He's so cis that he absorbed the cis out of everyone around him

[@Valkyzza]

Thanks Ashley!!! I Just got my escripts for estrogen and testosterone blockers today down in Australia, about half a year into knowing I'm trans femme, like a couple months into being out and having someone like you to look up to really helped put it all in perspective. I've spent a few nights up late crying my guts out a little too drunk watching your videos and unsure why it hurt so much and although that isn't exactly a glowing review I am so glad I found you. Thank you so much. Genuinely changed my life for the better in a way that's hard to describe, thank you so much.

[@The_Davo_Domain]

I'm a sis-male and my best friend came out as trans last year and it took a little bit of time to get used to, but in general I was pretty chill about it and happy for her. She previously came out as gender fluid a couple years before and understood that she preferred to present more fem than mask. I've known her for 8 years and she's still the same person so I'm very open to her transition. It also makes me happy seeing her make progress on her journey

[@lukaz20001]

We need to put Ben in a containment cell and study his queer aura. He seems so chill btw, just happy to be your friend and accepting you for who you are. 😭He looks kinda nervous on camera - but he killed it. A friend cracked my egg a few weeks ago and your videos are really helping me. I was quite literally thinking myself sick and unsure who to go to for a while, but videos like these helped me realise I have people who will love me for who I really am. Thanks Ash, and thanks Ben for being a cool friend.

[@ACupOfKerba]

I think I brushed shoulders with Ben once on a busy train, this explains everything. HE TRANS'D ME

[@ms.bunniesarecute2287]

Damn straight guys are always transing the genders...how do we pRoTeCt the children

[@wrenfrances]

telling some of my friends went really well, they adapted almost immediately and are supportive to this day. one of my (now ex) friends couldn't get past the idea of sexualizing women and just couldn't get comfortable seeing me as myself. it is what it is.

[@CassieCrofts]

The first cis guy friend I told, after I'd said it, I put on my best Christopher Ecclestone impression and dropped the quote where his Doctor Who explains regeneration: "It means I'm gonna change. And you're not gonna see me again. Not like this. Not with this daft old face." And that proved I'm still the exact same person and nothing's changed with us at all.

[@LexiHearts3]

I had this experience where i didnt really feel like any of my cis friends actually knew me even before i transitioned. Felt like i had no friends, just weird acquaintances I'd see at school and nowhere else. When i transitioned, i tried to reach out to a few in the spirit of letting them actually meet me But the reality ended up being that i was just a new person. And especially since i came out after going away to college, it felt like none of them cared anyway because we no longer ran into each other at school. So they didnt have room for me in their lives. I ended up finding new friends and they blow my mind every day with basic bonding experiences I've never shared with a person before. It feels WONDERFUL

[@unoriginaltitle4050]

I think this is a really important video because it not only shows trans people that they don't have to lose everyone in their life by coming out, but it also shows cis people that being normal about people in their life being trans isn't as hard as a lot of people make it out to be.

[@herowither12354]

I love him, he's the best cohost. Put him in every video. Not just on your channel, on EVERY channel. On EVERY WEBSITE.

[@storyspren]

1:08 thank you Icky for inventing trans people o7 🏳‍⚧

[@man_haver9160]

As a trans person can confirm that ICKY made me o7 🏳️‍⚧️

[@The_Future_isnt_so_Bright]

I've been transitioning in secret for 5 months. its best kept secret till you are who you want to be. Then it changes the conversation dynamic.

[@Ædthryth]

Ben is so damn funny. Just a chill guy to hang out with.

[@Mikaelashotmess]

another person transdoctrinated by ben so sad the days we live in 😔 (/j)

[@realryal]

So Ashley has a long-range Trans Conversion effect, and Ben a short-range - together they can convert the world!

[@gaberielpendragon]

Any friend who has problems with their friends transitioning, probably wasn't actually a friend in the first place. If they are, they'll get over it. There might be initial shock and time to process required, but they'll adjust if they are your friend. If not, it just means it's time to find new friends.

[@The_Future_isnt_so_Bright]

Been on HRT for 6 months in secret . Everyone keeps complimenting me on how healthy I look.

[@agata-1337]

same happened with me, and people also complimented my skin, hair and achieving my ideal weight :3

[@Freya27395]

It's all fun and games till the bobas start to sprout

[@BlueSkyScholar]

Despite the events of yesterday here in the US it was a happy day for me personally, my mother for the first time called me by my chosen name.

[@LiveWithEmory]

I told people and lost all my family and "friends" pretty much, sucks but honestly better than to live a fake life to appease those sorts

[@PeacoqPrincess]

Almost 2 years into my transition, I’ve lost a disappointing amount of people. I wish more people could see that I’m still the exact same person, just with a little stuff on my face and longer hair. I’m happy with where I am now, and the few relationships that have stayed are much stronger now because I’m bringing my truest self to them. Never give up, my beautiful trans siblings, it does get better 🩷

[@xlynx9]

Don't lose sleep over them. They probably weren't real friends. Hanging in trans friendly circles you'll meet way more inclusive people anyway.

[@tehlaser]

6:54 I mean, you joke, but someone with the superpower to immediately determine anyone’s exact, true gender would be in very high demand in the circles I currently find myself in. I certainly wouldn’t turn that power down.

[@jacewilliamson4698]

in regards to parents using new* names: my GF is trans, her parents have pretty much never gotten *her* name wrong, but they have called her brother by her deadname a couple of times, which is pretty funny to both of us hehe

[@SarahTealeaf]

I lost most of my friends after transitioning for various reasons. most of them were apparently right wing who went "I think trans people are weird, but you're good to me" Most recent one i split from as friends, actually wanted to make it even harder for me and others to transition because he thinks it's too easy for us, like, wtf. on that note, i'm happy im without bad influence friends and those who remained seems to be supportive of me and generally of trans people. Hopefully i find more friends within a demographic of people that are more accepting than the past ones i've had.

[@andromidius]

I was very lucky - only one person didn't respect my coming out. It was my dad, but honestly it was no real loss. All my friends were a mixture of supportive, already knew or were confused but respectful. I'm very much an edge case. And I know I'm privileged.

[@christina_Rest]

''Tits! what's not to like about that?'' So so true! Also, every Transgirl deserves a friend like Ben

[@RoronoaZoroSensei]

Awesome video, it's great to hear someone elses perspective on somone in their life transitioning. Also just nice to learn a bit more about ben and you guys' relationship, he's such a chill guy!

[@questionmark-mx1ob]

What I needed today, much love to u icky

[@davidmicheletti6292]

A friend will always be a friend if you keep an open mind

[@moon_zz2332]

Supportive friends are the best!

[@evie_lution_]

This is one of my favourite videos you've ever done

[@mumbos8211]

Ashley, thank you so much for all the contributions you have made to this website in the past couple years, you'll never know just how much content like this has helped me out this month!! Your experiences very much lined up with mine and testimonies like this make me and many others feel less alone in all of this. its almost scary how many similarities in my story and yours there have been though not quite the same as a whole. i didnt waste any time once i was sure that i was trans either, i immediately got professional help, told everyone i knew for better or for worse and started living my best life. I was terrified to take the steps and in the beginning there was no solace.. things did not immediately get better, they got worse initially.. but i knew it needed to be done though if i wanted to live a long fulfilling life because like you.. i would have always been left wondering what would have happened if i didnt give things a chance and i already hated the way i was aging so much.. another couple years would have been too much for me.. i would have probably not made it past 25 with the way my life was going. im super young still, ill be 20 in just a couple months so i think i definitely have hope and in a year or two ill probably go outside and nobody will even be able to tell because i already had the looks before hrt haha. I'm relatively early into my medical transition.. about 2 months into HRT now. im making great progress with vocal training (i was a musician before all of this thank god haha), unfortunately some of my family no longer wants to see me, i lost my long term partner, and several friends too.. but on the flip side i've also met so many amazing people locally and abroad in such a short span of time that are going through similar things and ive never had such accepting friends in my life up until now, ive also gotten unbelievably close with my mother and sister who were pretty much not in my life at all the past 2 years, even before that they were distant. I had been questioning pretty much life long how i felt and considered doing something about it for years.. but never got around to it because i was so afraid, honestly quite the wreck and i wasnt fully sound in my identity yet. looking back i was angry towards everyone all the time, even myself, i felt like i was trapped in a body i didnt want with expectations i had to live up to that were not right for me, and i was never able to just let go and be me ever until this year, so people never really wanted to stay in my life for very long. Even my parents started to give up on me and thats the exact opposite of who they are, i was addicted to hard drugs for multiple years without ever really trying to quit and i overdosed too many times to even count on both hands.. theres not enough fingers for that.. i was also a smoker which just baffles me now that ive quit and think about it in retrospect because its a disgusting habit and a waste of money too. Addiction lead to brief pockets of like.. homelessness sort of? usually didn't sleep outside but i didnt have my own house though and i could never stay anywhere for too long at once. it also put my life in danger quite a bit too, ive had guns pointed at me multiple times, ive been robbed, assaulted, got a perhaps a little too tapped into the world of supply too for my own good.. I almost went to jail multiple times, but didn't.. that being said though i know what it feels like to have those cuffs on, go to court, complete probation even if i never saw the inside of a cell.. i must have had angels watching over me or something. I spent so much money on therapists in the past, psych ward visits, rehabs, went to AA and NA meetings a bunch, tried exposure, psychedelic retreats, and all sorts of wacky stuff trying to feel better and it didnt work. sometimes some of it did work for periods of time though never in such a profound way as this experience has been, nothing was ever long lasting either because i was focusing on the symptoms rather than the root cause of the "sickness" which wasnt entirely my fault, it was so buried under everything that i just couldnt do it for a while even though i tried my hardest.. I know im still early on into things, but it feels so surreal to me now that im in the midst of change and im never going back ever again.. my mood has improved so much since starting hrt on the max oral dosage for both spiro and estradiol, radical approach in the eyes of some, but its been great for me, zero problems whatsoever minus growing pains haha. I feel so much calmer.. no longer depressed and ive never felt so in tune with myself, my own desires/dreams and my own thoughts and emotions. I dont really seem to get angry ever anymore.. maybe lightly annoyed at worst.. but someone really has to be bothering me for this to happen though. when things are really hard.. i dont get upset now, i just feel this sense sadness wash over instead, but sadness in a sort of pleasant bittersweet kinda way.. its like a release from things being able to cry sometimes after never showing much emotion for my entire life. ive been smiling a lot more each day and it never feels forced now, ive started taking better care of myself too, ive been eating super healthy.. used to not eat at all in the past some days lol. ive been much better about cleaning too. ive also started getting my GED and secondary education as well, i got one of my certifications in just a month and learned to write code in multiple languages, perform audits, isolate security threats, etc. regular cyber security analyst duties. This is huge for me because i gave up on education basically freshman year of HS, kept getting expelled and just never showed up to alternative schools so i dropped out at 16.. now all of a sudden learning seems fun and exciting and i dont even have a teacher, im doing it all myself with ease. Ive stopped isolating as much and i made a lot of new friends really quickly.. its like when i gave up on trying to be someone i wasnt, people suddenly became more drawn to me. i know i have a long ways to go and none of its going to be easy.. but a better, more authentic life finally feels obtainable now and im doing everything i can to keep growing every single day as a person. sometimes i get judged in public on occasion by some, complimented by others, a lot of things are confusing to navigate and ive never really gotten a break from it all at any point in my life even before all this happened.. but that is okay though.. i have finally found balance, self love and acceptance and lastly, ive become more empathetic towards other people no matter what or who you are and where you come from. Life is like a river, there may be fallen trees and rocks along the path, the current may be too fast for us to handle sometimes and none of us truly know how we got here on this earth deep down or why we became consciously aware of it, but thinking that the rivers path needs to be straight when its never been like this does not do anybody any favors. Sometimes.. you just gotta let go and jump in the river without considering a way out and just float downstream allowing it to run its course.. it may be hard and like i said there will always be obstacles in the way.. but its so much easier than constantly fighting the current in a failed attempt to swim back upstream again. Sometimes when i sit with the rivers course.. when i let things get real quiet and just become an observer for a moment.. i begin to see the beauty in it all, and it feels like a dream :)

[@vanessamonster5038]

Thanks for posting this. I needed something positive today.

[@R0D3R1CKV10L3NC3]

I've found that - in my own relationships with friends that are transitioning/have transitioned - it's been easier for me to adjust when I have interacted with them more frequently than less. The ones that I had lost touch with after high school, and found out about their transition on social media, and only really interacted with here and there through that, would often take quite a long time for me to not catch myself thinking of their previous self when remembering our interactions back in high school. But if I had kept in better touch, or if they had begun transitioning while we were still actively spending time together on a regular basis, it didn't take nearly as much time for me to have entirely replaced the old self with the new self in my psyche, making it far easier for me to treat them as they had always been that way. I do think that seeing them in person (or even just talking to them on a video call if they live too far away for in-person visits), regularly, can really help to build that understanding and shorten that adjustment time dramatically, for people who really want to put in the time and the effort, and obviously it should be going both ways, and they should be trying to make an effort to see you just as much as you are to see them, but my point was more to the value (to both parties) of actively spending time together when you are able to, to help make that adjustment period go by more quickly.

[@CrypticSilhouett]

Ben's voice is incredibly pleasant and soothing. 100% should do voice acting or voice over work just some kind of speaking role!

[@rdouthwaite]

This is so wholesome...

[@Forgotmytea]

Thank you Ashley 💜 this was really good to hear. I'm in the very early stages of transitioning, and often it's all scary and terrifying even though it's also wonderful and right. Looking forward to when I'm four years down the road and hopefully things feel easier x

[@AevrieCuruni]

I'm early on as well, definitely very scary.

[@RenaOrSomething1]

As a trans person who isn't out but who cares here is my advice. don't let people tell you who you want to be. there's no point living a life where you aren't being yourself you know who you are you are the only one who knows who you are what you like and what you want to be. and don't ever feel like your a let down for being who you want to be. sorry for just yapping lmao

[@fourside6505]

i have just recently accepted my transness and I have to thank you for being such an amazing voice and resource. unfortunately I live in the american south and the election just went the way It did, so I'm quite scared!!! I think i'm gonna need to stock up on DIY and learn how to do this myself because I haven't even started yet. losing it :DDDDD

[@LucyFerr2661]

coming out to my discord friends (my only friends) only brought us closer together, i feel like they understand me better as a woman too (they are cis women) also they now include me in the girl talk which is amazing

[@OnionfishyFN]

coming out to a couple friends tomorrow ^_^ update: told them over burritos and margs and it went very well :)

[@The_TinesJathian]

Good luck!!!

[@Matchana.]

Good luck, you got this!! ♥

[@itmonowhere]

Good luck, hope it goes well!!

[@tHWOMP656]

Glhf

[@ameremortal5267]

Good luck!!!

[@chrisvissermagic]

Icky, I joined your content a couple years back when I was searching for guidance and support. Im happy you're still making these videos. Thank you for this. :)

[@tyranitararmaldo]

0:17 Immaculate timing Also I 100% did the gender-fluid thing. Came out to a friend with "I'm genderfluid". But like 2 weeks later it was "I'm trans". I think it was literally only one friend I even told the first bit too before I was like "nuts to this".

[@lady_luna2292]

I can confirm, Ben was the one who turned me trans. He showed me the way of Blåhaj and I've been trans ever since

[@Orb445]

Thank you for being there icky

[@Cheese12345-k]

The stages of discovering ICKY: Oh she’s trans Oh she’s funny Oh she makes great videos … BRITISH!!!!!!!!!🎉🎉🎉

[@bobuxstudios5783]

british😔

[@SquishyTheBerries]

Ok but how do I tell my trans friends that I'm Ben?🤔

[@crd7876]

Be 10

[@kanjiNaem]

hi, I'm ben

[@TomMinnow]

hold their hand and look deep into their eyes and tearfully tell them the truth of who you are

[@klapstol]

The final transition is Ben and has always been Ben 😆

[@lav-kitty]

​@@klapstol has always ben

[@justsomerandomperson8243]

I love the vulnerability in this video! As of recently, I have been slowly coming out to my loved ones (I still have many to go though), and it is really helpful to hear the other side of the story, as well. ❤

[@Juan_DeSantis]

I think a lot of people strugle, naturally, when a friend or family member comes out as trans, even when they are accepting and supportive, because they feel that something NEEDS to change and they dont know what. The truth is that it varies from person to person. The pronouns will always be something to get used to, but sometimes a person can completly change when they come out if they were feeling represed or embarased inside their shell, and sometimes they don't change at all because they were always true to themselves, and everything in between. Just keep in touch and be suportive. Sometimes nothing will change between you, sometimes it'll be a little different, and sometimes you'll drift appart because someone's a different person, it happens all the time without transitioning lol. The key part in all of this is, as always, don't be a douche.

[@the_Biggest_Guy]

Ickys hair looks soooooo good

[@EllieFromTheShadows]

This topic is interesting as I experienced both sides of it. 2 years ago my best friend came out as transmasc, funnily enough i had already figured it out a few months before he had told most of our friend group lol, it was interesting as we had been friends for about 7 years or so, and it took me a minute to adapt, I think in part the reason i struggled at first was the fact i had pushed my own thoughts on gender and my dysphoria so deep that I was scared to accept somone i cared about being trans as it meant i might have to accept myself as well. Fast forward to this year and low and behold revaltions strike me and welp im also trans... funny that. So far, the few people i have come out to have been awesome, I understand there are some people I used to call friends who will never understand me, and some who will never respect me. But there's so much more ahead of me. So :3

[@Ashleyslife2024]

I wish one of my old childhood friends was still a friend.. all 3 of mine cut me off, and thats after really long close friendships 15+ years atleast

[@matthewthomas4620]

So sorry to hear that. Hope you are living your best life despite that.

[@YAMIKATTT]

been out to my friend for a couple months and it gets awkward sometimes because I forget that the dynamic isn't the exact same as before and then it turns into laughter for hours it's hilarious T-T

[@PirateZ1]

I love this video. I've started coming to terms with being trans / gender fluid (still figuring it out) this past summer and I'm terrified to come out to my friends

[@felderup]

there's a good chance, from most of em, you'll get 'so what else is new, wanna go buy pizza and spit on cars from the overpass?' yaknow, what you do every evening.

[@11mattjs11]

I feel like this is the perfect video to show to family and friends that are unsure how to navigate having a trans person in their life. Thank you Icky, I'll be sending this to people ❤

[@terraexcognita6637]

I actually went out of my way to make sure that the people in my life could have an aha moment about my transition. I think people like knowing that they're on to something and feel good about understanding it, so I did subtle things like getting my nails done in a natural style, or shaving my legs and wearing shorts, so they could say "I knew it!"

[@iana6713]

This is such an interesting video - to hear you two speaking of the past you've shared, all the changes that have happened, and the close friendship that has endured is such a positive thing. Just want to add that my heart goes out to anyone in the US who's feeling scared right now because of the recent events. You're not alone!

[@NikkiMarie1723]

I lost everybody😢 except four friends and my sister❤ but before I transitioned there were so many people that were my friend supposedly but when I look around there's four and my sister found out who my real friends were❤❤❤

[@im-caerula]

It makes me happy to see trans people in day to day life with their friends etc. but it also makes me sad because the vast majority of my friends stopped talking to me entirely, even though theyre "supportive" using my correct name and pronouns. they just dont talk to me anymore because "we dont know who you are now" 🙄🙄 im literally the same fucking person

[@SunIsLost]

You should tell them "I don't know who you are anymore either, I don't know why you are even here." (By here, I mean during the hangout, if there's any) and end their friendships.

[@krissysmyth3357]

But are you the same person? Being authentically you can be scary for people or even envious.

[@another_ashl3y]

The editing is really good

[@alys__drummer]

You came out with the voice training video when I rlly needed advice on that and rn I needed advice on this w wanting to come out to extended family soon. GET OUT OF MY HEADDDDDDD

[@BarbaraPape-y4g]

You can never be certain how your friends and relations will react to the new you. Your true friends will always be there for you, as for your relations you just have to accept that not all will be happy with the new you, that is there loss. Enjoy life as the person you have always wanted to be.

[@HotDogTimeMachine385]

Wholesome! And important to talk about!

[@muddymudkip15]

Don't personally have much experience on either side of this. I've only come out to my immediate family (don't feel the need to come out to anyone else) and I've only known one person pre and post transition (not very well). So this was very informative.

[@UltraHylia]

I recently had to tell my brother I'm trans because he (somehow?) found my relatively small channel and recognised it as me. Thankfully he is supportive, but it feels quite awkward when you aren't at a stage of telling people yet.

[@lichtsprecher]

My trans friends: I wish all cishet men were as cool as you. Me, 1 year later: so uh…I’m also trans now

[@SunIsLost]

Yep

[@coda-n6u]

Icky I came out to my friends today and it went swimmingly. I like the POV of "same thing but with boobs"

[@C0mfyest]

OMG I NEED THAT FULL GENESIS PAGE TO FRAME ON MY WALL

[@kinashy8863]

When i was a teenager one person in my friend group came out as an FTM. He picked one name but i told him [another name] would suit him more so he changed his mind and picked [another name] instead and i was like "wait, no, naming someone is too much for me" but there was nothing i could do about it. He's my boyfriend now. After a while another person in the friend group asked casually what do we think their name could be if they were a man so i answered and didn't thought about it. After some time they came out as genderfluid and then as a man and chose the name i gave him earlier. I was like "not again" but now it's funny. If i had a nickel every time i gave a name to a friend I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice. Some time ago i started to realize that cis people apparently feel their gender. I don't feel it at all so that would make me nonbinary but I'm not sure if I am

[@xlynx9]

Sounds like you have a knack for names. If you don't feel you're *not* non binary, there might be something there. Or you're just very open and don't care for conventions. Either way, these are all positives in my book.

[@kinashy8863]

@xlynx9 yeah, i have some other potential reasons for not feeling my gender, not conforming to gender roles, not liking my breasts (recently i bought a binder) etc and it makes it harder to figure out but with time I'll probably understand it

[@scyllian]

My entire friend group dumped me saying they don't wanna be associated with a *t-slur*

[@prestonbruchmiller497]

That’s really rough but it just means that you have an opportunity to make a new group of friends who are much cooler.

[@alwaysbored1700]

They were never your real friends. You will find the good people, they are always there ❤

[@BulbminCavi]

I've only told one friend(?) about how I'm pretty sure I'm trans. And while he said he'd support me, I can tell from the way he interacts with me (or more so the way he interacts with me way less) pretty clearly that it does bother him quite a lot. Which SUCKS cuz he is basically the only person I talk with outside of school-projects D:

[@Alyx.p90]

My best friend of 25yrs isn't sure he wants me in his life now some days I wish I wasn't who I am 💔

[@Oliviakniko]

i know its difficult but you'll get trough it never stop being yourself :3

[@ricestir_]

I had just come out to my friends recently, and i'm trying to prepare myself on what could happen when i come out to my parents. Thank you for the info!!

[@shmeck4994]

i dont have any pretransition friends, still worth it

[@BeeGameDev]

Another fantastic video! Thanks Ashley! 😊

[@BiggieChungulus]

I'm glad the commentor KateWick agrees with all of us that Icky is a stunningly attractive and successful individual.

[@Thegreatsupposer]

Can't wait to see this reply section lol.

[@Thegreatsupposer]

@@KateSW1997 I swear I saw a comment from you singing the praises of Icky before you deleted it. Don't lie! Lying is a sin!

[@Thegreatsupposer]

Kate deleted all of their comments and replies lmaooooo.

[@Thegreatsupposer]

@@KateSW1997Awwhh, thank you. I didn't want to offend you. I don't know what pronouns you use, so I used they/them because it's androgynous.

[@alwaysbored1700]

Shame KZbin deleted the comments, I guess KZbin just hates pretty women

[@zacklastname2362]

How about on a day like today? I worry I have to *stop* being trans.

[@brady5006]

You don't. Silence is death. As long as we keep fighting they can't genocide us. There will always be trans people, even when they couldn't access hrt and even if there's a future we can't either. Stay strong

[@Femboylife69]

Don’t stop that’s what they want live your life happy and giving them the middle finger

[@RobHutchison-s9t]

Her videos are getting better 🎉

[@Aaron-dw4fr]

I'm very recently out to my cis guy friends, I needed this sooooo bad

[@cass2239]

Great Video! I have a friend who's similar to yours and it's so stark the difference between the people who truly care and those who were there for what you could provide for them. P.S. It must be some kinda hate crime that I got a period product ad on this video 😭

[@amanofnoreputation2164]

I'm fortunate that a friend of mine came out after I had firmly recovered from some right-wing gaslighting and the only real change our relationship has undergone is that I some times have to wonder to myself if it would be more appropriate in such-and-such a case to treat my friend differently or just act the way we've always interacted. (Barring her new name and pronouns, obviously.) The tension has mostly come in from how not everyone I know is necessarily completely accepting of transsexuality, but that's already on the mend in some areas.

[@StanleytheCat-v8z]

​@@KateSW1997Go touch grass.

[@mollygladwin8160]

This was something I really needed to hear right now so thank you. ❤

[@SeshYesh]

I need to tell you how much you inspire me ❤

[@SeshYesh]

Very pretty

[@Deemaldson]

We Stan a good friend like Ben!! ❤

[@maki_loves_noodles]

daily icky video, didnt even notice it came out 3 minutes ago. We still vibe

[@Hardymovies]

Ben graduating to a full video!!

[@felderup]

the reason it just felt natural to use they/them, is that it's been used the exact same way since something like the 13th century, it's a while, it's really a modern fad to restrict them to plural.

[@Adairaaa]

im (hopefully) coming out as trans to my parents soon, it just feels so hard to actually press send

[@Miwles]

I know the feeling. As I was coming out to my parents as nb, my hands were so fucking shaky right before I hit send. And I think I could've fainted when I sent it if I had been more dehydrated.

[@Adairaaa]

@@Miwles i kind accidentally did it 😭 my parents arent rlly aknowledging it tho...

[@bananaman7969]

My literal BEST friend since childhood is a Mormon... he's on mission for another year and a half and I'm so scared how him and his family are going to react. They don't seem to really care much about the community but I'm just terrified, since I'm so close to them (his dad literally said I'm like a son to him. Also currently living with my grandpa who voted for Trump...

[@sultanmustfa7731]

bro ...just be safe and dont make any decesions that can put you in dangeour. god save ya ❤

[@Zectifin]

good luck

[@battlefuta9953]

If you transition you always have to be ready that people will drop you.

[@waywardpoet5310]

Be careful and safe! I'd say, if you can, try to move out first before transitioning, Trump supporters, even family, can be unpredictable. This is purely a safety concern. Your friend on the other hand, maybe slowly and carefully talk about the community. Ask them what they think then go on from there. If they are more open minded to it then you got a true friend! If not, well I'm sorry to say that they were never truly a friend. In my experience, the religious and, going on about the die hard trump supporters, uneducated, don't care about Humanity. That's just my experience though, not everyone is like that. I have at least one church in my town that is LGBTQ+ friendly, all the others are not. Stay safe! Prepare for the worst, Hope for the best. Also Never Give In! Never Give Up!🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

[@brennanb280]

We have entered the Ben era!

[@tdadp]

I find it easier to tell your girlfriend, your trans and your guy friends they are more opened once the initial shock is over. They want to be helpful.

[@stryflon1433]

I just came out to my friends for the first time yesterday!!! Amazing timing

[@Pig85-rb4qv]

U have helped me so much with being trans I ow so much to you thank you :3

[@PurpleRhymesWithOrange]

The new guy seems cool. It's very good to have hear the opinions of a white cis-het man since they are who we encounter most.

[@xlynx9]

Depends where you live, but I agree it's good to be inclusive to majorities as well as minorities.

[@amanofnoreputation2164]

Me and my trans friend before she transitioned: "Stop saying 'gay' around me. It's really annoying." Me: ". . . Gay." Me and my trans friend after she transitioned: Me: ". . . .Gay." "STOP SAYING G -- "

[@brigwe616]

when ben discribing himself as a Ted Mosbian i choked on my drink