Relationship Q&A: When to Give Up, Let Go, and Stop Giving Chances - Terri Cole

[@terri_cole]

For the transcript of this episode and extra resources (in case any of these Qs resonate with you!), download the guide here: www.terricole.com/relationship-q-and-a-guide

[@elizabethbrehm8996]

My new favorite channel. Can you please do more videos on it living with a narcissist, a covert or malignant type narcissist. I realize they will never change, but after 31 years and just realizing over the last five what my situation is, I am in therapy. I love your channel. I’m learning every day how to cope with the reality of the situation. I feel you give great advice and tools. Thank you

[@terri_cole]

Thank you so much, Elizabeth ❤️ I'm so glad to hear you're in therapy already, because that's what I recommend (if it's accessible for folks). I have a few videos on narcissists, but not exactly on living with them. Is there something specific you're looking for? This is about a vulnerable narc: kzbin.info/www/bejne/i3rUlqaCfM6di5Y 3 ways to avoid getting sucked back in: kzbin.info/www/bejne/rZDWmmeuf9OpbKc On trauma bonds: kzbin.info/www/bejne/iajPnqumq7Z0ptU

[@karmenchristensen9845]

“Secondary gain” -- yes. Thank you.

[@terri_cole]

It's such a powerful tool!

[@teawithlilibet]

Really enjoyed the q&a. Keep it up!

[@chilloften]

Hi Terri Cole. Always enjoying & learning from you.

[@terri_cole]

I appreciate you ❤️

[@vidyas4238]

I am from India. Very helpful content.Thank you so much.❤

[@terri_cole]

I'm so glad it was helpful for you! Thank you for watching. ❤️

[@f.t.9889]

I LOVED THIS VIDEO! THANK YOU! 😊 ❤❤❤

[@terri_cole]

I'm so happy to hear you loved it ❤️❤️ Thanks for watching and being here!

[@marvellousmartha07]

Great episode 👏

[@terri_cole]

So glad you enjoyed it ❤

[@citigirlcountrified1927]

I didn't catch the answer. When is it time to leave?

[@terri_cole]

It is up to each individual, only you can make that decision. I have another video with 15 questions to ask if you're thinking about leaving a relationship: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mWimfJRnmM51r9k

[@liatkan]

terri big question - i always know in a situayion "who does this remond mr of" it litteraly never helps me - what do i do with the info?

[@terri_cole]

This tool can help us see if we're experiencing a transference- essentially, if what is happening in the present is soaked in the past. I'll give you an example: During my internship, I had a boss that unconsciously reminded me of my father. I thought he was a jerk- cold and distant. I would dive into the bathroom if I saw him in the hallway. I related these thoughts and experiences in therapy, and finally, my therapist asked me why I didn't like this guy. She helped me connect the dots back to my father. I was relating to him like he was my father, and I had no idea until she made that connection. I was transferring my childhood experience with my father onto my boss. With this info, I was able to realize "then is not now," and choose to act differently around him. It's possible that you're not experiencing a transference. It's hard to say without knowing how you're trying to use this question, but that's where my 3 Qs for clarity come from. They tend to unearth these experiences. I talk more about it here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qnm8ppuugt2FaZI

[@creativemindfulness5306]

❤