The #1 Reason Men get Married

[@dawnstonerock4253]

Agree. Both sides must earn respect.

[@Pheonix1111]

Agreed. Men must earn a woman’s respect. Trust and respect must be earned by everyone. All of us need to become the best version of ourselves and live a moral, responsible, and virtuous life. Men run away from love, nurturing, support, affection, and marriage, because they fear the responsibility of marriage and leading a family. Many men actually become sad and upset when they meet the women who is supposed to be their wife. Men admit this themselves. Men need to learn how to lead a family properly from older, wiser, happily married men.

[@zudiegrace]

@@Pheonix1111 absolutely love this response!!

[@Pheonix1111]

@@zudiegrace Thank you.

[@DoubleOhSilver]

They wouldn't run it women actually showed loyalty. But they play marriage with other men before them and have previous bed partners. So marriage becomes meaningless.

[@saras.2173]

@@DoubleOhSilvernot true in my case. Men still run from me because of their own fears of intimacy and stepping up. Even though I have no previous partners. What you said is the RATIONALIZATION scared men use to avoid having to self-reflect.

[@Pheonix1111]

@@saras.2173 Researchers found that men with high body counts never bother to learn how to become proper leaders and do not even want to get married. Researchers found that men with high body counts are unable to pair bond even with one woman and even if she became their own wife. It is important for both genders to avoid pre-marital sex, so they can pair bond with one another.

[@christalwings4649]

Agree sir about the earning respect instead of demanding, having morals, chacter and value, treating her properly earns respect by women that truly value this

[@lynnmothibeli325]

I agree. I think a wife definitely owes her husband respect because getting married and becoming a husband is a self-sacrificial choice, but that respect must be earned. Respect is always earned.

[@AttachmentAdam]

What are your thoughts on how respect can be earned and given in a marriage?

[@lynnmothibeli325]

@@AttachmentAdam Hi Adam!!!❤❤❤ My thoughts are that great marriages probably start with great friendships. I say probably because I've never been married so I don't wanna sound like some marriage philosopher😂😭. True friendships are those where both parties mutually respect one another and consistently keep promises made to one another. If this is present in a long-term friendship, it can also be transferred into the marriage and maintained.

[@ljroberts3739]

Above, a person mentioned that a wife is probably his sole emotional support. I agree.

[@Mademoiselle-g6s]

Men need respect, to be appreciated and acknowledged. Women need to feel loved, protected and cared for. That's what a real marriage is about.

[@MistyEry]

I would actually say women desire both love and respect and so do men. It’s not one or the either. They go hand in hand.

[@Mademoiselle-g6s]

@@MistyEry right, I don't disagree with that. Yes. This is just an emphasis based on what we know is particularly important for men and women in relationships in general.

[@leanaevans5365]

Agree!! Respect is what they really need. It makes a woman happy to give this challenging at times offering.

[@lynnmothibeli325]

Hi. Did you mean to say that it takes a happy woman to this offering at challenging times?

[@chrissiekriove2551]

I absolutely agree ,the woman a man chooses says a lot about his ethics ,morals ,self respect.

[@AttachmentAdam]

It can definitely tell you something about what a man values in a partner. But what other factors do you think influence who someone chooses to be with?

[@ladeyofthewoode]

Agree! Well said.

[@AttachmentAdam]

Glad to hear this resonates with you!

[@AccidentlyHero]

Society conflates a lot of things about men, particularly good men and it’s typically concerning marriage and fulfillment. Firstly, men know generally speaking, most women are not cut out to be wives or have properly prepared themselves to be a wife. Secondly, society emboldens women by telling them that her worth as a woman isn’t found in a husband or marriage- yet we doesn’t extend that same sentiment to men. Thirdly, men’s fulfillment is far more nuanced than just garnering respect from women or his community, but society has socialized us to minimize the needs of men. Men need to be needed more than anything. And if you realize how much you really need them, then appreciation is a byproduct of necessity. Men go where they’re needed but stay where they’re appreciated. That being said, men who don’t know their worth will go where he’s wanted and he may even stay where he’s needed. But when you’re dealing with a man that knows his worth in all aspects, he’ll go where he’s needed and he’ll stay where he’s appreciated. If a woman doesn’t appreciate him, even when she knows that she needs him- he won’t stay, even if he knows for sure that she needs him but doesn’t appreciate him. Ultimately, men settle where they have peace. I hope this encourages women to examine or reexamine their relationship with men in their lives, as well as men examining the relationship they have with themselves.

[@forgottenfuryan]

Only six in 1,000 people get married and ladies file for 70% of divorces personally I can afford it

[@user-mf9yl2pf3v]

Men are also not properly prepared to be husbands. Both men and women are very ignorant about relationships and marriage in the Western world

[@user-mf9yl2pf3v]

Men marry to take a woman off the dating/ marriage market and have her to himself. And to follow tradition. And because marriage is also somewhat of a status symbol(?) Not all men get to marry and have children after all. And to have the benefits of marriage, like children, easier access to consistent sex, a woman who looks up to him and nurtures him, and the ability to be emotionally close to their wife. For a lot of men their wife is the only source of emotional closeness in his life

[@lynnmothibeli325]

Yoh! You just made 'men' sound like selfish cunts😂😂 - I'm sorry for the swear word🙏🏾. I truly hope what you described above is not the main reason most men get married. Marriage is more about what you can give, rather than what you can get out of it. The more a spouse gives, the more he/she spouse receives.

[@NoneYo-v1s]

You said it one of the best ways I’ve heard it

[@AttachmentAdam]

That's fantastic to hear! I appreciate you sharing your feedback.

[@ash10spro]

💯💯agree. That’s why I unfortunately left my avoidant man, the man I thought I was going to marry... Because the respect and trust were broken the moment he started cheating with his ex.

[@crushynn90]

Men want a legacy. You can only really have that with a wife.

[@Shannxy]

@@crushynn90 true, even genghis khan had a wife

[@davidfrey5654]

Excellent observation.

[@AttachmentAdam]

Thank you, David! I'm so glad to hear you found this helpful

[@millievanillie9700]

Exactly 🙌🙌🙌

[@lynnmothibeli325]

Sorry one more thing - there's a reason why what this lady said kinda triggers me a little, even if it might be true for most men(heterosexual). I'm sharing how I truly feel about what the lady said. She makes men sound like they get married for selfish reasons and it's honestly not a good look for the men who do get married for the reasons she specified. Both men and women look for the things she mentioned. If men get married with the focus of acquiring those things, who then is focused on giving those to the wives?? I don't know, it's just not right. My understanding of marriage is that one gets married with the mindset of giving to their spouse, and not necessarily to get anything from their spouse, although getting and receiving aren't the same things. There's nothing wrong with wanting to receive love from one's spouse, but one generally gets married with a giving mindset, and not a taking or acquiring one. Idk this is just me.

[@rockyp32]

Ephesians 5 KJV

[@sourceenergy1122]

Agreed 🎯

[@jeanettebrooks1963]

Love, nurturing, support and affection are completely different than respecting a man, or should I say, NOT DISRESPECTING him. This is something the American culture has made it a challenge for us women to not do. A man begins earning the respect of his lady by mastering taking care of his body/ health, earning a lot of $, and providing a house. Cooking , cleaning and being great behind closed doors IS showing respect to a man, but SHE better master her own self love, self care, mindfulness, boundaries, spirituality, etc. Would love another chance at all this!

[@jeannievail]

It gives him a sense of purpose, a reason for his success, motivation to keep going, a legacy to leave as proof of his accomplishments. Last week, when I said I hope he gets everything he ever wanted, he replied with, “You and I both know that’s never going to happen. That would only set me up for failure. I will keep working too much and I will died before retirement and someone undeserving will benefit from my efforts. I have come to terms with that. 😢

[@kelligray1848]

Totally agree

[@AttachmentAdam]

Glad to hear it!

[@Somewhere-In-AZ]

Marriage is a partnership. You work together to build something that benefits both parties. Including children if you have any. It requires loyalty, mutual respect and dedication to have a good partnership. A single person can only go so far alone. Life is better when it’s shared.

[@AttachmentAdam]

Absolutely! That's a beautiful way to describe marriage. What are some other aspects of a strong marriage partnership that you find important?

[@Somewhere-In-AZ]

@@AttachmentAdam TRUST. Trust is huge.

[@KB-ih5gf]

I think it’s more convenient for a man to get married. I think they also believe you’re less likely to jump ship and there you are whenever they need you. Kind of like having a campsite reserved and knowing you don’t risk not having a spot for the night. 😉 All that stuff she mentions - you can have that without being married.

[@AttachmentAdam]

Interesting point about convenience. But what about emotional connection and building a life together? Do you think marriage can offer something more than just security?

[@Goodwillwinoverevil1984]

I like this but I do need to be respected too. Ain't no man going to disrespect me (again at least. Especially if I could help it!).

[@AttachmentAdam]

I hear you. Respect is an important part of any healthy relationship. What actions from your partner would make you feel respected and appreciated?

[@RelleRealized]

My Da makes me feel so unsafe. I am also anxious. I feel like at the drop of a dime I will be on my own with our child to raise by myself. It is so uncomfortable to be around him he constantly needs space. Sends our son to his room constantly and pushes me away without warning this is not healthy behavior but only my unhealthy behavior are being shown because after 3 days of tip toeing around him I get frustrated. I don’t respect him for this he just doesn’t know it yet.

[@AttachmentAdam]

This is a difficult situation. Feeling unsafe and anxious in your own home is incredibly stressful. How long has this been going on? Please feel free to reach out to me through [e-mail] so we can discuss this in more detail and come up with a personalized action-plan.

[@ms.h4541]

Men need to earn respect

[@AttachmentAdam]

I don't disagree, but how can a man earn respect in your opinion?

[@BlockStarsPodcast]

It sounds like what she was saying had nothing to do with what you said after. 2 difference topics. Her video is BS, any woman who falls in love with a man will give him everything she said. He doesn't have to marry to get love, affection, support and nurturing. Hence when the wife retires her happy bride act, he gets all those things from his mistress. Now, to what you said... Yes, I agree 100%. All the men I've truly respected earned it and never had to ask.

[@lynnmothibeli325]

Interesting take👌🏾.

[@user-mf9yl2pf3v]

So men marry to have a woman who will look up to them? I'm a touch confused, I feel like the commentary doesn't match the video of the woman

[@kasijune88]

Might be true for men. Not for immature males, though.

[@teresacinoccomin1672]

Damn Right 🍯 the honey pot is w a wife… cause she gonna do for him in exchange.

[@forgottenfuryan]

Follow the money

[@josekanucee1428]

…until the layoff. ✌️

[@RosettaRedfeather]

I see that to be better men and women in general, we need to just be better human beings. A man marries the woman he knows he can’t replace, even if he has to divorce one who entrapped him to do it.

[@MaatTehuti_Dr_Clark_PsyD]

Facts

[@AttachmentAdam]

Which part stand out the most?

[@MaatTehuti_Dr_Clark_PsyD]

Men build castles, women fill them. A man is looking to return to the nurturing comfort and safety of his mother. He will not find that on a corner with a random. He must find a queen and offer her sufficient containment. This is why a man marries, to have a ride or die partner for life

[@bigkane1499]

that was 4😂

[@JoyleiaJo]

Yeah, no. Getting divorced now.. from someone who never cared about my affection. He only wanted sex, and to get his family off his back about finally getting married. His "culture" is different than the one she's referencing. He grew up in a church, and wanted to keep up outward appearances, regardless of the selfishness he harbored inside. selfishness

[@AlaAla-kb7df]

We need more details about choices he makes and person he chooses to be

[@JS-mh1fh]

Thinking this is provided through time - observation, interaction, being involved in his life to really know who he is.

[@marinettecachin5931]

What about when you are divorced About legacy ?

[@emma-sadie]

I agree with everything said here. I do have a question though, I know a good man and woman who love each other and respect one another, but are wondering why they need a paper that says they're married. Can't they be married in the eyes of God without government getting involved?

[@nathanjimbob7885]

My pastor does not perform weddings with the state. I haven't talked to him about his stance yet. He does, however, perform covenant marriages. In fact, he performed one during a Sunday service the first time I attended that church. "What is happening right now? This place is wild!" - Me

[@lindatannock]

You don't really need to be married at all tbh. You can commit for life without it, and it's probably less messy when you split. Most do it for security and/or tax purposes (as well as love obviously)

[@dawnstonerock4253]

It just makes life in society easier

[@zudiegrace]

@@lindatannockif you’re doing with the thought to split, there lies the fear of not wanting to do it legally.

[@fairlyenjoyable]

There are particular instances where being married by law is a must. One I can think of off the top of my head is your partner getting into a terrible accident and being put on life support. You as a "nobody" (as the government sees it anyway) have no say in what happens next. Instead, his family will.

[@keeponrockin85]

100% agree! - a lady

[@renaepascoe7393]

Not true! some men choose to marry a women based on her status n the benefits they can get out of the marriage.

[@AttachmentAdam]

That's a very valid point! People marry for all sorts of reasons, some healthy, some not so much. What do you think are the most important qualities to consider when entering a marriage?

[@renaepascoe7393]

@@AttachmentAdam a person has to be mentally/emotionally/physically/financially n spiritually healthy. Then you r ready to be apart of someone else’s life that would reciprocate that same energy to have a healthy relationship then you will automatically have full filled marriage. We attract what we r even though we don’t want to believe that, it just shows differently because of our environment n how we was raised.

[@vivianvennicia]

Ask women to describe respect.

[@AttachmentAdam]

Do you believe men and women have different perspectives on what it means to show respect?