The 3 Signs of Blame Shifting And How To Deal With It

[@pexist88]

My main rule for this. Never take the blame for something you didn't do/or never did. Even if it costs you for what ever situation you are in.

[@AstroReviews]

Agreed 100%.

[@krishnadash1]

You don't know what is manipulation and how the blame shifters put the blame on other persons

[@susiesa8295]

very true. never stop fighting

[@KellyBell1]

Have entire one-sided family. They believe the ONLY side of the story they have heard. Other person who IS NOT GUILTY of ANY BLAME gets ZERO CHANCE to be able to speak up and get this other side of the story. I don’t know how to combat this. Any advice?

[@ImLiterallySoDisgusted]

I had a friend who has infatuated with me. Because I was uncomfortable with his attitude and how he said he was crazy, I obviously didn't want to involve myself with him because he's not the kind of person I want in my life. So I vented to my friends about the things I don't like about him and what he did to me. Causing my friend to confront him about it. He thought I was spreading rumours about him when it was simply the truth. You know what he did? Instead of wondering why I left and never see his messages anymore, he put the blame on me instead. He'd rather point fingers on others than to self-reflect and question himself why people are leaving him. That was the day I realized I was not respected in this friendship and he didn't truly want to be with me as a friend.

[@jaziibrahim7413]

Another thing: They tell you that you are too sensitive or overacting whenever you call them out for treating you bad for example. +It's hard to be empathic when the word "too sensitive" triggers something or when feeling that you are being manipulated does so.

[@beaulieuonnp593]

or too anxious.... but a job hasn't been done yet, which they promised

[@giscottusa]

When they say that, I reply: I believe that is true to you. Or "that's one way to look at it". You are not disagreeing but you are not agreeing either, nor attacking, nor defending yourself.

[@lukeclark3506]

@@giscottusa I’ve been told that too, I’m too weak, I worry too much, (stop overthinking) but I believe it’s the other person who has the problem and there pointing the finger at me telling me I am and l need to change.

[@lukeclark3506]

That’s soo fucking true! I’ve been called weak several times before but I’ve heard that sensitive word before.

[@JC-ce8uw]

How do I react to this my mom says I’m too sensitive after she makes harsh jokes. Or it’s just a joke

[@alexb3852]

I’m over dealing with people like this

[@monikaazariah9237]

Me too ...and it's someone I love

[@LWT1331]

No you're not. They're everywhere - You can't escape them.

[@bocacocasky3581]

It's healthier to leave. It's difficult to be remain sane dealing with blame shifters.

[@thedstroyer0075]

Not a joke, i have lost my sanity listening to that

[@reginab2348]

factz...just leave them alone!

[@quanix4554]

My mom literally blames everything on me she never wants to just sit down and talk it's just an argument everyday and im sick of it.

[@BushcraftEurope]

Typical behaviour

[@peachtree891]

I quit talking to my mom because she's a narcissist

[@narcfreeatlast6975]

There is a high probability that your mother is highly narcissistic, or has a narcissistic personality disorder. Check out the traits, assess if there's a behaviour pattern going on and how frequent it happens. If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck and swims like a duck, then it probably is a duck!

[@hueau6391]

@@peachtree891 what do you do if you need something like how to aproach her

[@AAv_3ii]

Most parents are like that. My parents are like that too.

[@soniczforever5470]

I reported someone because they kept describing me as a failure im autistic and during the pandemic I realised I did not want to return to that. I want someone else to oversee my support needs.

[@greenleggedpipehen3048]

I support you i also have autism (Aspergers) i also get blamed alot...

[@corbanrobinson9054]

Aspergers is definitely not easy especially being told that you can just get over it people have been saying that to me for years and it frustrates me every time they are convinced that I use my condition as a crutch in life (I hate dealing with family especially since they tell me that I am the one that needs to change)

[@monstersince]

sticks and stones may break your bones. my love will never fail you. settling in honey

[@beaulieuonnp593]

I get blamed a lot too. I like clarity, all I want is a Yes or No answer, but I get ... oh you are being forceful

[@thatdjiswild]

Being the bigger person gets as tiring as them blame shifting. At some point in life we have to accept our own flaws and become self-aware to be able to see that our actions are affecting others.

[@KellyBell1]

In all honesty….being the bigger person has never done me any good. I end up on the horrible end of things no matter what I do. Married into a family of blame shifters. They do it so effortlessly I don’t even think they look at things ANY OTHER WAY. I was a middle child in between two older and two younger and my entire life had been nothing but always getting blamed for things. I am continually finding myself being blamed for other people’s wrongs. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m quiet. I don’t cause trouble. I help anyone that I am able to help yet somehow…I end up on the ….wrong end of the….stick. I just don’t get it and I am definitely not good at figuring mind games like that

[@Barbara_Banks_1]

Oh my- so true how they use deflections. It can be exhausting. As it’s recommended: “Respond, don’t react”. And, “sometimes, the best response, is no response.”

[@generalgongthehawkeye557]

It is hilariously depressing how often this happens to children from their parents, which leads into depression and anger.

[@The_Lovey_Informer]

Ain't that the truth. Its just toxic people taking things out on you

[@bluesamurai1246]

My parents are like that

[@xanv8051]

Kids are like this also

[@AAv_3ii]

A lot parents are like that sadly.

[@sureshjain6953]

Not only from parents and also form school teacher's

[@priyankanahata8247]

I always tried to understand my husband but now he got heart attack and he said it happened because of me. I don't understand how am I responsible for this, the truth is I keep fasting for his good health, I keep praying for him from my soul to God . I can't do anything but just crying louder inside and pretending to be good on the other side of me.

[@ejc1692]

I agree with the reasons why narcissists act like this, however, I do not agree with putting up with it - this mentality is why abuse lingers. Empathy is a two way street. Get fast away from the negativity and harm and choose to love yourself and others enough to only allow those who see the light into your life. You can love from a distance!

[@craig3714]

I know people like this they blame me for all their problems.

[@lune_444_80]

Like frfr it’s aggy

[@stephenkarla7113]

Many are narcissist, never take their blame, start drama then blame you. They will tell you one version of their problem and then tell two or more versions to other people. You stay in constant confusion. Leave them alone! Run!

[@ladyhopkins85]

Thanks SO much for the video!! I'm currently married to a blame shifter but am also going through a divorce with him. I felt so guilty about hurting him by leaving the relationship that I've bogged MYSELF down. Now I know that going through with the divorce is setting healthy boundaries for myself. THANKS AGAIN!!

[@kalunnanna3421]

My humble advice. What you pay more attention to expand more.You're the major ccause, bitter truth. Sorry for what you've gone through .See the best in him. Those reasons that got you attracted to him focus on them. Imagine you're looking at him as your own child. Be the change. Unless otherwise there's a threat of domestic abuse. Thanks

[@ladyhopkins85]

@@kalunnanna3421 nah, there was nothing there to begin with

[@mjj6127]

@@ladyhopkins85 wow you started the blame game i can see that.

[@ladyhopkins85]

@@kalunnanna3421 I'm the cause? Perhaps you can prove why?

[@ladyhopkins85]

@@mjj6127 how so?

[@ryangrapp2987]

I disagree with nearly every method of resolution they are stating. It's a passive aggressive response that doesn't solve the problem. Or worse.. it wastes just as much time as if you argued with them. Instead completely confront them: Instead, call out the behavior directly (it doesn't have to be them directly: "I'm noticing some miss placed finger pointing"). State what the objective is of the conversation (solving the problem, not establishing blame). If they will not engage properly either remove them from the conversation or remove yourself as they are a destructive influence. State the reasons why. Let them know what they can change in order to be allowed back into the conversation and contribute. Be calm. Be firm. Don't be argumentative. If they try to start an argument with you, simply state "I've stated my observations. Until you can respect what I've said, I have nothing left to discuss with you". The absolute unequivocal worst thing you can do is allow these people to behave this way. Wearing them out doesn't solve the problem and may wear you out in the process. Instead of a battle of wits it becomes a battle of stamina. Call it out nicely. Ask for them to step up in a different way. If they cannot do that, then they are not helping the situation. Remove the toxic element completely. This is the best way to solve any manipulative or bad behavior always. The most important step here though is giving them information about how they can safely reengage with you IF (and big if here), you want that. This helps the person grow and gives them a way of discovering how they can be welcomed back into a group. If you don't do this, then this just creates more toxicity along down the road (big picture here). Obviously there's certain situations though where you shouldn't reengage them. Such as if you are being manipulated in a relationship and it's harmful.

[@NopeNotTodaySatan]

Absolutely, yesssss!!!! I whole heartedly agree with you!!!!!

[@janeldavis905]

I came to the comments looking for something like this. These are terrible recommendations that only serve to make you responsible for "handling" the individual's behavior. I can't believe this is the advice they're giving!

[@coolskunk6186]

Totally agree with this 🙌

[@Katie-yd6ni]

Feeling crazy lately trying to help my sister.. I needed this!! It’s like, you are the fly on the wall, only one seeing, understanding my side. She manipulates many family members b4 I even know there is a problem. I’m going to rewatch this multiple times to try n’ keep the last of my sanity ❤ thank you 🙏

[@CYSYS8993]

Nothing worse than talking about all your unfortunate experiences with drama and toxicity with those who you trust to be supportive only to have that trust shattered by them suddenly deciding you're actually the problem and they're not.

[@Banebelladonna]

Favorite: When they are yelling and you ask them to please stop. Then they excuse their behavior by saying that’s just how I talk. I’m passionate!!

[@priyankatiwari7049]

My partner always blames me for his life failures,if a stone hurts him it's also my fault😂

[@Twerkarella]

😅🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣I swear I’m going through this holy fuck I just want to punch him in the face

[@ovungwokha1028]

🤣🤣🤣 same , he blames me and his family for all the wrong except his Ex.

[@rinchenlama6834]

Same here bro

[@zaiahngawaka-murray7907]

Me too I'm always getting attacked with words every little negative thing its me.

[@Supermariocrosser]

@@Twerkarella then he calls the police 🚨

[@dianawolf894]

This sounds more like placating an abuser until the actual victim can leave.

[@bombshellbexz4403]

How perfect is this for my life right now, I just cut an entire crew of these kinds of people out of my life. Extremely toxic & very unhealthy people they were/are indeed. Yet I could not be more thankful for getting these extremely unhealthy people out of my life. I just wish I didn't live right across from them, not much longer shall I have to be here though, yay!

[@itslexieyt]

I can't get over it😣

[@sansydoodle1805]

Girlfriend and i also live right across from a big blame shifter. Can't stand how everything that goes wrong is suddenly somehow our fault! it doesn't just stop there though, she talks bad about us to her friends online who used to also be our friends. ) -: We're moving outta here first chance we get, but gotta do something about the pets since we can't take them where we're going.

[@dReZbEeZ]

the best thing about #2 is i see it and i don’t feed into it. this upsets them. they don’t understand why i don’t care, and keep trying to gaslight me. then they realize that i’m not as easily swayed as they thought. proving how wrong they are at judging character, and the can’t stand that 😂🤣😂. they get bored eventually after many many many attempts of trying get a rise of arguing out of you. it feels the best when they get so frustrated they ask you to never speak to the, again, like it’s some kind of threat. and i’m just like thank gad i don’t have to figure out or spend more energy on the toxic person. #winning

[@tdiddle8950]

It seems that many people revel in accusing you of what they are doing. It is the most destructive thing ever. You're doing what you think is right, but then that's turned against you, and all of the sudden, you're the enemy. But you've not the enemy...you were standing up for truth and reconciliation.

[@sheilahande520]

I believe it's easy for someone to accuse others of not taking responsibility, but there are times where sometimes it may not be the victim's fault. For example, if a girl gets raped because she was wearing shorts or walking alone at night. It would be unfair and cruel for us to say "she should not have been wearing shorts or walking alone at night." The rape was caused by the rapist NOT BY HER.

[@lindagithaiga1974]

Exactly 💯

[@alfrednewman4496]

Smh.. using that line of thinking is childish, rhetorical and unhelpful. Assessing what could be done to keep everyone safe is a conversation adults can have without worrying about "victim blaming". Most of us are capable of complex thought and know that pointing to secondary factors that influence outcomes does not excuse the primary wrongdoing. It's big people talk.

[@Barbara_Banks_1]

Why “engage” them at all? - or “feign not knowing anything”? Often, *the best response, is no response*. By doing so, you keep your dignity and integrity by walking away. You can’t do so if youre behaving deceptively in interactions by “feigning” a lack of knowledge or emotions... smh

[@monicaacinom9412]

Agreed. Feigning ignorance simply provides this blame shifter a bigger forum in which to perform. Walking away is best.

[@Ladyinred001]

Yes agreed! When you are in negotiation with such a person it’s a great tactic to engage them and feigning not knowing anything. However, when it comes down to close relationships you do not want to surround yourself with these kinda folks. In all circumstances you want to engage with these people as limited as possible and preferably not at all. For the sake of practise (since you will encounter these types at one point or another) I would try to engage with them and learn, so you’ll not only recognise them but also know how to handle them.

[@MedalionDS9]

I admire blame shifters... it must feel good to constantly never be in the wrong. They must be very very happy people all the time

[@robindscarlet9805]

😂 finally a comment that made me smile a lil

[@BushcraftEurope]

My ex blamed me from day one till say D. And then she would say in her typical manner :' Everyone iz guilty for your sruff.' When I told that to my friends none ever heared me saying something like that and I never did. It is called projection. That is what insecure people do. Molesting you to feel better. Easy to spot - if you feel on edge with them even after saying how you feel and then they ad more and more and more that you forgot what did you say at first. Blaming you for even not remembering stuff said a minute ago as you get so much pressure in your head. I wish her all the best. Honestly I am afraid how she is going to end up. Won't have someone to play with till the next victim. Living a lie. That's what she was. That how her words ended. That how her promises ended. In a lie.

[@pasqualinamichelaconsiglio9391]

Engage in them when they are angry? Verbally abusive, physically abusive? We know they are vulnerable, lack of emotion maturity, low self esteem, lack of empathy, lack of confidence. They are an adult. Not a child. That behaviour was supposed to be corrected as a child. What happens of you are deal with someone who is a blame shifter but is a gorilla that needs to be caged?

[@tripducerayandsean1031]

Be at peace with yourself and nothing will harm you

[@gabrielle5873]

I'm exhausted. Mentally. From this. I don't wanna feel anymore. Keep quiet and I feel like I'm getting walked all over and manipulated. Say something then we fight. I've been with this man since I was 17. I'm 28 now. I don't know what to do anymore.

[@lionheart79]

Save yourself and leave. Abandon ship...you cant fix ppl...especially if they never take accountablity for themselves

[@JackieSalvato-fz6kk]

Hun I'm with that leave . You are young and can find someone who treats u of value etc . I've been there and waisted many years of relationships like that and time is precious . U deserve the same respect u give out . I wish u well but if u don't leave now u will be mentally drained and feel stuck .

[@beaulieuonnp593]

Happens every time. When I asked how my bf's move was coming on, I got 'look I have a lot to do right now, and there's is no need to be anxious'. This is when he has to move out on October and he hasn't even signed the papers. This is just what I had meaningless arguments that doesn't solve the issue. I try to stop the arguments as soon as they happen, but the issue get solved but otherwise it will just go round in circles

[@lovelight...1940]

🤔food for thought.. blame shifters huh! That's a neat way to put it when someone tries manipulate you and what you stand for!!

[@Angelicconnections111]

I think my manager has been doing this to me at work behind my back holy shit ! THANK YOU !

[@Shoopa348]

Mate, id just like to say, your a legand. Bloody fuckin legand. I have used this information to my advantage because recently my brother has been blame shifting me. And he wont stop. And the worst part is, my mum follows through. Although he may get the blame sometimes too, I am always the main culprit because im the oldest and "should be more mature". My dad pretty much always sees through it but most of the time he isn't there to break down the situation. Now my mum understands what I am going through and my brother can no longer antagonize me. Thank you.

[@caneegatti7239]

It always happen in the work place especially to those people who look at themselves as perfect one. When action goes wrong, you will be blamed for the result. But if action got positive result. It will be their 99% effort and work. For you, it's 1%.

[@solomeaquinn4708]

THANK YOU FOR YOUR WORK!

[@sorauzamaki1]

Man I have been going through this for months and have tried to explain this to someone so many times just for them to...smh continue to do it Ive tried and tried and they barely see there faults Im glad Im not alone in this

[@lukeclark3506]

You’re not alone, people at my job last year didn’t like the fact that I stood up for myself

[@l.p.2842]

So helpful. Thanks!

[@mnmlst1]

Why is it so hard to find people who are not toxic??

[@mariamistretta3860]

Toxic people do blame shifting. It's abuse. They don't take responsibility for their actions behavior and attitude blame the victim for everything else. 2. Use arguments on purpose find fault and accusers dragged into their dramatic used things against the victims. 3. They Manipulation the victims to make people feel sorry for them or they want your money. Bragging They don't admit to They own behaviors and attitude towards everything else. Insecure people bully innocent people. When it's their own behaviors and attitude towards everything else. Also called scapegoating belittling disrespectful behavior unhealthy behavior.

[@ilovecookies3575]

You see, I normally get bullied a lot and framed, but when I rage out I become the villan, even people gang up on me and snitch and also play the victim and the manipulate and go in groups lying for eachother and I’m tired of it so I lost control and started a big argument in school, normally I’m a calm nice person so this was shocking.the next day I didn’t go back because I was so gutted about what happened, at least my parents supported me and comforted me, after that they still even mess with me today, but I got to control my anger otherwise consequences will happen to me. Anyway since I was a child going to that school I have never done anything like that before so I don’t know what they mean! I hate that school they never even helped me out when I a little child, I had speech problems and learning difficulty’s and they knew that but didn’t bother to help me! I still have difficultys today but there abit better only because my parents helped me out! Utterly ridiculous!

[@LWT1331]

I feel you.

[@jessezimmerman540]

Dude if you live in the united states thats sad man. Ask your parents for a counselor. Your parents sound wonderful but maybe find someone that is young ish that could understand the complexities of social interactions now a days but still have a degree in mental health or is a legit doctor. Praying for you dude! Keep your head up your obviously intelligent. You will find real friends.

[@ilovecookies3575]

@@jessezimmerman540 thank you :) I’m actually getting better I’m starting to learn new talents and new things now.

[@jessezimmerman540]

@@ilovecookies3575 society can suck at times man but just focus on doing you. You got a long life ahead of you make the best of it and work hard now so later on you can relax!

[@ilovecookies3575]

@@jessezimmerman540 ty :) but I’m actual not American 😂😂😂

[@SQRH3]

I like the examples of blame shifting. But usually its when you call someone on their bad behavior that they blame shift (back onto you). I would think keeping the focus on their bad behavior, holding them accountable, would be another way to deal with the situation

[@lovelight...1940]

Darn right!

[@LWT1331]

When has that ever worked?

[@CatherineBirch-m5r]

Both of my parents showed these characteristics. My father would always correct me if I pronounced a word wrong and accused me of being rude to him when I wasn't. My mother would play the victim and plead illness when she didn't want to do something. They were responsible for me ending up under juvenile psychiatric services as a teenager.

[@jacolinechase537]

EXCELLENT CONTENT! Thank You So Much.

[@beyondblue1]

Thanks for watching

[@TheSilverlady1980]

I have been the target of his blame for 43 years !!

[@DrewsThoughts]

I don't understand, so this video is saying allow the person to keep blaming me and everyone else for the problems they are causing and be the bigger person? How is that solving anything. I have a girlfriend who apologizes for the mistakes you made but she always ends the apology with BUT this is why I did it. And its ALWAYS because me, her kids, her ex, her co-workers or someone has upset her. It's never 100% her fault.

[@DanielDemers]

This is to the tea . I knew this for years. She will never change.

[@RaffaelloLorenzusSayde]

This is why I don't like the manager at my work. She is too bossy. She warns me if you use your phone during work you are basically fired, yet she uses her phone many times during work. She blames me for putting items not in the right shelf yet it is place in the right label with code too. Etc...

[@black0seraph983]

Me and my coworker got into an incident last night. I got tired of cleaning up behind him and I was going to go to our boss to talk to explain the situation as this is not the first time this happened. My coworker found out and instead of taking accountability, he rather deflect and bad mouth me for not telling him to do his part

[@Rainjojo]

My mom would constantly put her hands on me or scream and my family would blame me or say “she’s been through a lot” “you probably made her angry” so? That doesn’t mean she can just hurt me when I did nothing at all to deserve it

[@Paddy955]

My own doctor's seem to be shifting the blame of my health issues onto me. I rang my doctor about the excruciating pain in my feet due to neuropathy and because it was so severe and I was crying, I was offered an appointment with a psychiatric team. No pain relief whatsoever so no amount of psychiatric help is going to help me walk without my feet feeling like they're on fire. I accepted the help only because this is having a major affect on my mental health to the point where I've become depressed and isolated and together with my other conditions (brain Tumour, epilepsy, acute back and shoulder pain, severe asthma), I have no quality of life and have considered taking my own life many times. Why is the NHS blame shifting patients health conditions that wouldn't be so bad if they actually treated those conditions when they firsr started but weren't taken seriously. I'm made to feel like everything's in my head when the only thing that's in my head is a brain tumour and lessions on my brain that cause tonic clonic (grand mal ) seizures. 1:05 2:15

[@coontimetv9917]

Dude, I started a new job and a month in, daily, 3x a a day I get blamed for something I didn't do. I accept any problems if it is MY fault But if it is NOT my fault, I still get the "talk" from my coworkers... I don't know what to do. Should I document or bring it up to managers?

[@psychicmediumtree8743]

Many spouses deal with blamers. Thank you for your video.

[@brysoncain7488]

I had to find somewhere to vent.. .my mom lives with me due to her finances. I swear every time she says anything it's what I'm doing wrong what I'm breaking.. I'm leaving a mess.. believe it or not but on the Bible as I write this she's mopping and yelling at me telling me when I'm off work take my my shoes off before coming into house I'm tracking tar through the house... geez Could she be loosing her marbles is it me? Do all kids take care of their parents at the same time getting belittled by them?

[@W4Ffl3d]

I was a 4th grader who had just moved into another school and we were doing an art session which involved a fine tip black pen and they were all kept in a cup so I used one but then two girls approached to sit there but took that cup with them to get pens (they didn't use them yet) and said mild insults to me but then they left the table for some reason and I thought nothing of it until once they came back, one of the pens they were using wasn't working and since I was sitting next to them they were accusing me of swapping the pens and I told them I didn't but they asked "how come you have a perfect pen?" Like am I supposed to have a pen that wasn't working? They didn't test out the pens so I didn't have much to do with it but no matter what, it was 2 against 1 and I still think about it to this very day To those who managed to read the whole thing you're a champ

[@charlesfarrell2529]

Those are weak minded people who Arecompletely pitiful

[@user-vwTheCEO]

Never judge a book with it’s cover

[@stroNg2thaBoNe2thaMax]

How do you deal with them? You tell them to have a nice life and you turn around and walk away.

[@kendgie_245]

one of my ex friends called me selfish for wanting to get paid for babysitting her kid. she blew up at me, told me she hated me, called me a bitch, and said stuff like, "jesus no wonder no one likes you!" when really, plenty of people like me. she was always the one who said she had like zero friends, I felt bad for her so I extended my hand. I see now that was a big mistake because she still hasn't let go of her hate towards me over this. anytime she comes into my work place and brings it up and calls me a "fucked up piece of shit person who deserves to go die in a hole" she tells me "I should've just babysat her kid for free because we were friends and friends just do things for each other" and that "I'm just like everyone else, everyone always wants something" the thing is she knows my financial situation isn't good and hers is amazing she's making 10k a month is what she told me. so she couldn't have spared 5 dollars? telling me that I'm selfish!? apparently I'm not the only person she's done this to. so I realize that I'm better off without her but it still hurts

[@beyondblue1]

Oh this is touching. I hope you get over this

[@chyennewhisman7166]

It's smarter to cut ties and refuse to be around them.

[@1birdlove]

This was great! Thank you so much. Only healed people can understand this video lol 😂🎉❤

[@beyondblue1]

Thanks for watching

[@BeautiNSuccess]

This is an energy vampire? Why would I or anyone wanna form ties with them . Cut them off and run the other way . This is narcissist. SMH I hate people who make excuses for manipulative people.

[@TheSilverlady1980]

40 years of marriage no way does “engage and tire them out” works. I just stay silent now or walk away. Tried being understanding but when he blames me because his garage is a mess, he loses his job, he has car accident, it rains it’s all my fault. Wrong nope nit my fault. All these people saying pack leave sorry I was taught a vow is a vow unto death.

[@lylasplayworld-funandhopef8803]

Thank you so much for this! Story: so today I was at school I was at PE and I had a surgery in my leg, so I could not run. So at PE there was this boy gossiping about me. And this girl pushed me, and I landed on my bad leg, so I told her that hurt, and she said, is it bleeding? and I said no. And then she said, then your fine! so after school today that girl and her mom went to go speak to the principal. I got so much blamed for it. So tomorrow it’s gonna be longer tomorrow so yea. I’m gonna say this to them. THANK YOU!

[@earthmother4397]

Shifting blame to the blame shifter is an eye for an eye and will not get us anywhere.

[@yaraabboud7926]

Empathy doesn't work with them. Simply disconnect.

[@baekim7604]

My family are all like this keep blaming me and looking back from what i did in the past. They never moved on so how can i? Instead of words of encouragement, Discouragement.

[@Amaathea]

I’m so glad I found this my mom always blames stuff on me cause I’m the youngest to the point we’re she almost made me commit suicide 😞 she still blames me stuff to this day😔

[@Amaathea]

@~Hu Tao~ Ty🥺

[@Amaathea]

@~Hu Tao~ 🥹tysm

[@asoto3057]

My uncle is like this all the time and I very much deal with it.

[@k.b.9716]

1) Engage them.2) Do not admit you know anything. Avoid the argument and be at peace. 3) Set boundaries to avoid our time loss.4) Be understanding. Let them talk.

[@baphometbby]

What happens if someone is accusing me of this but they’re doing it to me

[@SQRH3]

Hey Beyond Blue, fyi, I noticed the second half of this video actually has the second half of your (very good) "How to deal with a know-it-all" video. I guess the vids accidentally got spliced together.

[@beyondblue1]

Thanks for the observation. Well-noted

[@SeaofMadness-lz6ig]

Our daughters 40th birthday party. Supposed to be joyful. He accuses me of ignoring him i did not. I mingled like people are supposed to mingle and talk to people at a party. He chose to sit there and stare in space most of the time. I got a ride home with someone else not him cause i "chose" to have fun!!! Not my problem..then he gets mad at me cause i forgot to go to the grocery store before we went to the party. I told him to go before the party he refused oh well. Its been 2 weeks since i talked to him and im not regretting it

[@shacharcohen8664]

Im.here to learn how to deal with them this video made me realize im a big blame shifter

[@dollyoliver6095]

Everything is correct but how to deal with them !

[@Jivvi248]

every time i say something people say that i can never be wrong but im just saying facts and my opinions then when i try to say anything back or argue back to them they say that im getting angry

[@lanisessence2875]

Same

[@suzihazlove4979]

What if someone's abuse is causing you to get upset and then they call you out on it are you supposed to apologize to them

[@suzihazlove4979]

@Adam Tesfai ,,, I feel if I lose my self control , I should..

[@suzihazlove4979]

@Adam Tesfai I know.. But,, I'm disabled and need the help.

[@elimiller5867]

Thank you so much my ex bff alway texts me and always blames me for everything and she causes PITY PARTYS EVERY TIME SHE CALLS thank you so much

[@She_Beena1255]

I’m tired of being falsely accused for materialistic things. A simple water bottle, should not be argumentative. Telling the truth of where it’s been all day, take the thoughtful second, that learning of wrath shouldn’t be the first step in a disagreement or a discussion.

[@torreymosley7410]

The first question is usually the modern women cuz they blame good men for everything

[@Umme-45]

My husband blames me for him being late for the things when it was his actions that lead to him being late. He always blames me, saying because he had to feed our 11 year old son. Sometimes I cannot remember that he said something, he says I am demon possessed, that I apparently deny things that happened or say things that never happened. I’m really worried if that’s true. I asked him how is he so sure that I have this problem. Anyway really sad about this

[@lacondrareed]

I wish my job would talk about blame shifters maybe we could learn to have a better work environment.

[@triantv.6824]

Restaurant Manager - this a problem I dealing with right now

[@ItsJustElectric]

I'd do the tips given but not being understanding or empathic. I have compassion fatigue or tired of being nice. I got constantly abused for being understanding and empathic.

[@ParDiss-e4i]

Lol. Forgive and move on is my tendency. 😊

[@bereany5010]

How can blaming yourself lead to disconnection?

[@kittycatgirl680]

My perants do this 😭they blame everything on me even though I don’t do it

[@buddingsurgeon1360]

My mom blames me for my psoriasis

[@ladybug6055]

Have you heard of the toxic saying, " you got to teach people how to behave in your life"! Yet they should not be having access to certain parts of your life no way. Boundaries, respect and privacy. They know you allow people to have you thinking that way than these people will believe you are open to their disrespect and meddling as well as toxic behaviors like getting into your mental space and peace.

[@armorvestrus4119]

What should you do if you have become a unwilling witness to to something you wish you had not seen or heard?

[@OdinTheGiant]

My wife figures out how to blame me for everything..even wearing my socks...im like can you stop wearing my socks, she like well you wear my socks sometimes...its like so annoying trying to ask something because she will just say you do it to..even if I did it one time 5 years ago...

[@jcdcouch]

Oh my whole weekend w extended family!

[@SKYE_HUTCHINS]

Let me tell you a story a few days ago I was in math class and my bully lilyana had candy canes on her desk and cameron my old old old crush took it when I specifically told him not to me and my real friend Brielle the good 1st good student stood up so he wouldn't take it and when lilyana came back she thought I took it when cameron told her he had and she knew cameron had it and cameron paid me 20 in class money and I gave it to her and she said I did not give it to her right when she just spent it on a stuffy pass and she got me in trouble and to this day she still said I did not pay her 20 in class money and I did and she told me to give her all my money to her NOW or she won't be my friend and I happily declined and took my money back and she told the teacher on me but she got in trouble cause she was lying and she got in trouble because ms.collins our math teacher new what happened and knew I was telling the truth so ms.collins gave me a 100 dollars in class money and lilyana had to give me all her money and cried while she did it and to this day I will ignore her forever

[@notjohngg72]

Thanks for the video my mother always blameshift on me so

[@grayreyesreyes8209]

My husband all the way 100%

[@lovelight...1940]

At least you have a husband!

[@grayreyesreyes8209]

Sometimes you can do bad all by urself. Having a husband isnt worth much if he isnt a good man who respects and trusts you

[@ladyhopkins85]

Mine to!!

[@madmadistoys415]

One time i was in a game and someone called me a rat so i said something and there friend came out of nowhere and said I should have said anything and walked away and so many people were made at me and then they said I started the fight when clearly she called me a rat first i was so sad and when people would join they sould think i was the bad guys i was crying i dont know why it was just so hard getting the blame for something one else did

[@uvindukulathunga3860]

Thats how world rolls I understand the psychology behind it to a certain degree

[@atribecalledblessed1106]

Wow thank you!

[@belafaulds6405]

My bf sent me this after a problem i recently had with my roommate. Basically summed up everything i already knew. Im done being fucking understanding

[@ronnietoni819]

My ex keep saying I messed him up, I didn’t do anything wrong. It’s pissing me off because he won’t tell me what I did

[@queenalex7827]

Someone I spoke to at school blamed me saying I shouldn’t have told his gf he cheated on her while he was doing in THE SAME HOUSE that I was in and he was like you should have kept that to yourself. It made me so angry and brought back old feelings. I blocked him afterwards and I’m going to keep my distance in school.

[@queenalex7827]

And I’m afraid you’re dealing with a narcissist. That’s the tactic they use. They do things to get you on edge to make you question yourself to gain more control.