The 4 Attachment Styles In Relationships

Time Stamps:
1:28 Secure Attachment
5:18 Anxious Attachment
16:44 Dismissive Avoidant
27:45 Fearful Avoidant
This was a heavily requested video but also (conveniently) the next logical video to make. Now that we know what the anxious, avoidant, fearful-avoidant and secure types look like, how do they each behave in relationships?
At some point I'll do deep-dive videos for each individual type because this video only scratches the surface BUT it works as an initial overview.
(And remember! If you're an ENFP or INFP personality, www.heidipriebe.com is for you!)

[@LoreMIpsum-vs6dx]

Wow...this channel is turning out to be a one-stop-shopping for everything I need right now. Attachment/bonding awareness is so essential if you are experiencing serious issues in life. Thanks Heidi!

[@cmdrefstathiusplacidus9003]

this channel is starting to make me realize just how much work I have to go forward as a healthy person, and a healthy husband

[@annababana]

I agree. Sometimes I say "thank you youtube algorithm for sending me exactly what I need in the moment!" 🤣🤗

[@ourloveourjourney215]

For real right!! This channel is AMAZING for my healing!! 😉🙌❤️

[@kericampion1153]

I'm a recovering FA. It's been 3 years of healing, reprogramming my core wounds, emotional regulation, challenging beliefs, boundary work, communication skills, coping skills, etc. And i just want all fearful avoidants to know healing is possible.. have self compassion. It takes time, persistence, tools and patience but it's totally worth it. It's not about perfection but improvement ❤

[@user-td2zn9hs6d]

Thank you for sharing. I’m curious, was part of your healing being in a healthy relationship or were you able to do this while you were single?

[@TheUntypicalGerman]

I am the anxious type and I am very honest with myself and aware of it. Often times not hearing from my partner for half a day already triggers a mild feeling of anxiety. I sometimes have to laugh at myself, because I *know* everything is ok, but my feeling still goes all over the place. When feeling anxious I usually just do something that makes me proud of myself (work, gym, make music, clean, cook), or talk to family or friends to get some human connection. Knowing your attachment style and finding some healthy ways to cope with it is super helpful and also knowing your partners attachment style and knowing their needs and visa versa is crucial to avoid unnecessary conflict.

[@starlightwhispers6781]

How do you cope when you realise them not texting you is not because they were busy but because they spent it with someone else who is similarly overly-attached to them?

[@vanessaprincesssa]

I thought I was an anxious type, but turns out I am fearful-avoidant who airs more on the anxious side. This is both heartbreaking to realise and at the same time so helpful and enlightening. I am filled with hope now that I know what the problem is and I can begin to heal.

[@tropichawk850]

I hear you. I had a feeling I was fearful-avoidant, but didn't want to jump to unlikely conclusions, and so cautiously erred with anxious until these videos proved me wrong. I want to say it's crushing to realize I'm this toxic, but I knew; I'm pulling the being crushed long con. I'm still not exactly hopeful, but I did feel a spark. A connective tissue between a variety of disparate facets of my life finally coming into view. A window, finally a window, to better understand and navigate myself, my behaviors, and my needs more efficiently, and maybe even become a whole and healthy person one day. Not hope, but a chance for hope. I really want that to mean something; I wish the same for you too.

[@vanessaprincesssa]

Thanks for the answers to both of you guys! :) We will get better :)

[@aaronanderson2731]

I just discovered you Heidi and this is the oldest video I've watched of yours and on a Venti coffee I think I need to turn the speed down to about 75%... you're spitting facts....just really fast facts.

[@seomii1605]

SERIOUSLY HAHA she knows her stuff!

[@just_natii]

I literally had an emotional outburst when you got to that point about the fearful/avoidant types. Sometimes i try to suppress the fact that i can't really trust myself or others because like you say, it can be extremely painful when you're so dependent and allergic to love at the same time.. I've always had problems with self-doubt and always thought i wasn't normal, nice to see that there are more of us fearful-avoidants out there, because I often felt alone in my chaos and now i'm ready to work on myself and thank you Heidi for your incredibly valuable content. Thank you! Love goes out to you!

[@rataricarda]

You can find ways to work on it and it really gets better ❤

[@beingintrinsic]

All of your work is to such a high caliber of understanding and delivery. I just found your channel today and this is my kind of study. You’re the first person to offer a full spectrum coverage of mbti and attachment that I’ve found. It’s very relatable and real and not biased by your own type- what a skill!

[@heidipriebe1]

Wow thank you so much for this! Removing as much bias as possible from my explanations is something I really strive to do so I feel very seen by this comment :)

[@babsdragonfly4610]

As a fearful avoidant, I could just finally make sense of why I started feeling anxieties the minute I started seeing someone I truly liked last year. You illustrate what it's like to have your attachment style triggered so well. And the point around no longer being able to set boundaries until out of the relationship felt so true too.

[@SparklesNJazz]

omg, i had this completely emotionally draining “relationship” of sorts with a person i really liked a year or so ago, and i was always trying to figure out why the heck our communication was so bad and nothing ever got better. it’s because i’m anxious and he’s avoidant! everything makes SO much sense. at first i thought he was the problem, then i realized i might’ve been manipulating and started to blame myself, but my friends told me he definitely had issues. turns out we were BOTH the problem and both mentally unwell. everything makes so much sense.

[@samipeixoto4779]

I was convinced I was an anxious type, but now I fear I'm fearful avoidant, and this is heartbreaking for me right now. That's how when everything it's just ok, I tend to panic... Your work is great and I appreciate very much! Thank you!

[@wendy645]

❤ Has this information continued to feel looming and scary? Have you learned more about it and felt out if this resonated with you differently? I'm curious how you've moved through the last couple of years regarding this. I'm just now learning about the types.

[@amyetta619]

I've only recently discovered attachment styles. I immediately identified as fearful avoidance, but when you said this type is really interested in psychology, and are emotionally aware, that just nailed the loud on my coffin! I seriously laughed as I related to this!

[@kimr8219]

Fearful avoidant here. I wasn’t aware of what I was doing, but I didn’t date in high school and starting in college through today I would go through a series of guy best friends. I told myself that I just got along better with guys because they didn’t play games. What I was actually doing was bypassing the bad parts of a relationship and using them as a substitute boyfriend. I got the love and connection and significance without the fear of rejection and abandonment and hurt. Inevitably either they would leave or I would. Now I’m in my early 40’s finally seeing what I was doing and never having had a real relationship. Your videos are really helping. Could you do a video on friendships? I have a friend now that has stuck around and I care deeply about but I’m working on taking him out of the substitute boyfriend role and moving him to a healthy friendship role before it blows up. I would be utterly crushed to lose him.

[@Ennpey]

Fascinating!!! It's funny how in movies, women are often portrayed as people with an anxious (the "needy" "emotional" "drama queen" to be super cliché) attachment style and men an dismissive avoidant attachment style (being in a relationship reduces their freedom and they always are ready to abandon their partner - to describe this type superficially as well).

[@LilachLavy]

I'm 50. I've been going through this (Fearful Avoidant) ever since my 20s. Been in therapy many years back then. I'm a bit mourning the fact that nobody told me of this. None of the therapist, even the one i tried to go to about 10 years ago. Nobody diagnosed this. No-one hit the nail on the head. Just years and years of time and money waisted. You are so right about "it is hell". And you're absolutely brilliant.

[@Claribel42]

Wow wow!!! This lady is the smartest person I ever heard on KZbin talking about this kind of topic. I already love love her. The way she breaks down this information is amazing. Thank you thank you. Now I’m understanding a lot about my type of attachment

[@sarahg3156]

I am securely attached, my parents were amazing and I identified with how you described securely attached. I really appreciated your mention of Big T trauma to a securely attached person. That completely happened to me. My first serious relationship broke me; the message I was given was that I was completely unworthy of this person after about 2 years of serious dating, because his mom didn't think I was worthy. I was expected by everyone in our lives to return to being friends after he started ignoring me and we broke up. This destroyed my self esteem for about 15 years. I'm ok now, but I still feel like there is still something emotionally broken in me, even after 10 years of marriage and 2 kids.

[@sarahg3156]

After watching some of the other videos, I do also tend towards avoiding attachment, with a sprinkling of anxious.

[@michelekawamura1357]

I was so moved by your experience, I couldn’t help but comment. You are still broken. It’s not the end of the world. I fully understand how the pain still lingers. The degree of trauma experienced from a life event, is proportional to the damage left behind. Profound trauma can’t be undone. I’m 30 yrs removed from the first of two, crushing trauma events, and 60 yrs old now. Twenty years after my first trauma event, I answered the phone during dinner, only to hear my ex bark his name out, announcing himself as the caller. Instantaneously, I felt as if I were going to vomit. I’m not speaking figuratively. My body responded on its own. He had not spoken to me in more than 20 years. He didn’t speak more than one syllable of the word ‘this’, as in this is Brad, when I dry heaved. Before my conscious mind could register my subconscious, physical self knew instantly. That’s what soul crushing trauma does.

[@sarahg3156]

@@michelekawamura1357 Thank you for your story as well. That sounds awful, and it's very easy to go back there immediately, like the time never existed. The whole situation was made worse by additional issues with our friends and other relationships, jealousy, rebounding, etc. It was a mess. The only person who had my back was my brother, who quit speaking to his roommate who was my ex at the time. And then they were all still in a band together, so I was around this person for another 2 years. The girl my ex-boyfriend rebounded with (my roommate ironically) eventually apologized to me a year later. I was happy to forgive her and lay that to rest. But my very patient, and also very perceptive husband had to walk through most of the trauma with me and experience the side effects because we got married about 5 years after that break-up. Looking back, I realize my self esteem was so low, and my ability to form independent relationships outside of my family and church so non-existent, it was the only choices I had. I hate that it was the case for myself. I have so much more perspective now, and even had to go into a gentle recovery program to fully deal with the emotions and emotional ramification I experienced.

[@edwardgreacen1833]

I'm sorry for your loss.

[@star-cursed]

I'm so heartsick to hear about what happened and how its impacted you. Some people are just so reckless with others, and even though that's their deficiency, it's everyone else that pays for it.

[@NoticeMeSenpaiii]

I don't know what videos you have planned about attachment style, but a video about the most common mistypes would be cool. Like, how people with each attachment style incorrectly identify their attachment style and why they do it/what thought processes lead them to mis-label themselves. It would be super helpful because my self-assessment ability is almost non existent 😅

[@janetroy4469]

I've been studying my fearful attachment after discovering the theory a few years ago. I've remained single for 3years now. At this point, think I'm pretty much healed from my anxious side but now feel very avoidant and struggle to make headway there. Thank you for your content as it adds so much context. You're awesome at simplifying the dynamics of each style. Love your content.

[@Relaxingmood804]

Heidi Priebe, you are doing a compassionate work by creating these videos on the attachment styles. The way you explain every thing is help me understand clearly. Thank you. I am grateful.

[@AdelleRamcharan]

Just fast forwarding to the part where I get to hear about how messed up I am 👀💯

[@heidipriebe1]

Hahaha immediately after I posted this I went back and made time stamps because I figured that would be what many would want to do.

[@prashanthireddy2333]

😂😂😂😂

[@nnylasoR]

I’ve been in therapy for years and none of my therapists have mentioned attachment styles. It’s been a while since I’ve been hit SO hard with a “HOLY [POOP].🤯” revelation. Thank you for such a thorough, mind blowing rundown. 🧡 Side note- I believe I am an ‘Anxious / Fearful Avoidant’ and my husband is an ‘Avoidant.’ Oof.

[@SparklesNJazz]

i had to pause the video multiple times cuz you were speaking TRUTHS. especially about the anxious type only doing self improvement so they can be loved by a secure person... you got me there 😬😬

[@Cheyawesomafied]

You finally put into words what I’ve been feeling for so long and it’s been very validating. I’ve always had therapists say I’m anxiously attached but I’ve never felt like that’s painted the full picture for me. The “drug” doesn’t feel “clean” every time, there’s always been discomfort in it even if from the outside it doesn’t look like there is. Very insightful video, thank you.

[@user-zg9mc6nq5p]

I love you analogy of medicine we need as anxious attached people. So this is what I did. Costco size fish oil gold capsules. Wrote LOVE on the bottle all over so I can provide love capsules to my self when i need it. I’m my own pharmacist. Up To two a day. Keeps me healthy and loved. Just perfect. Good technique so far. When I’m feeling down and ready to make that stupid phone call to get my meds I reach out or my gold capsules full of the love I need. Thank you.

[@michellerussell6339]

Best description ever - Thank you 😊

[@chiaraA.]

I thought I was anxious and I see I'm more secure, and in finding myself with an avoidant, an ex, I realize it's a really bad match for me not only because I was somewhat an anxious, it's me not recognizing they were unable to do what I presumed everyone could do, which is have an emotional connection and intimacy with another. As we exited the honeymoon phase which was so great in many ways, I naturally looked forward to where we would move to larger commitments - past the good times the fun times, as one does. And it wasn't happening which confused me so I pushed the issue. I'm not unhappy I did that - things blew up immediately - because investing in an 'allergic to love' person just wasn't going to work for me and I'm glad it was over quickly. After I addressed the issue of further commitment it resulted in them text breaking up with me - never had I had someone leave because I wanted more into the future - it's not like this was a f***k boy but in the end all they could really do was as much as what a f***k boy does

[@mhr1487]

I'm so incredibly grateful to had found your channel! It's exactly the clarity I was looking for! Thank you thank you thank you!

[@TwoBlackRings]

It's just so cool how real you are.

[@hugoyaztromo3532]

Thank you for shedding light on this topic. So far, out of all the videos that I've watched, this video explains the nuances of each attachment style best. This made me question how I initially identified as. I feel like I've been more on a journey of self love and I'm not sure if I'm better yet. But lately I've been also craving for love, but I know that I don't really need it, But I know it's something that can make me grow as a person. There's this one person that keeps popping on my mind randomly, but I feel like I'm not ready for to dive into it yet. PS I've been a fan of your content since your early thought catalog articles from 2015. Most of my MBTI knowledge came from you. Glad to have found your KZbin channel. Thank you for sharing your wonderful mind!

[@beneveritt2720]

GO HEIDI! Your videos are great!

[@chrispetrienet]

Another great video, thank you! This model of looking at relationships is really helping me to understand dynamics I've struggled so hard to explain

[@TheLaurdawgmacdaddy]

Love your videos!! Super thorough and breaks down everything in super great detail

[@MarcelElfers]

Dear Heidi Priebe, you are brilliant! Thank you for all you do.

[@andydataguy]

I had no idea you had such a great personality! I love how you really let your light shine in this video compared to the newer ones 🙌🏾💜

[@Karina-bv1rl]

Thank you so much for all of the videos you make! It really-really helped me! Cant wait to see the next one about attachment styles! Lots of love❤

[@annakooyman4158]

I'm so grateful for you and for these videos. Thank you! ❤

[@northfloridapomskies2316]

Wowwww thank you honey pie! You just clarified so many things up! And I love analogy’s so much and it helps me understand things! Your the best!!

[@abymcmatton6133]

I can relate with anxious attachment style but I was open to what I want in a relationship. I was clear and I wasn't afraid to be honest and wasn't afraid to lose a person because then I knew if he was for me or not. I was more dominant and confident about myself. The guy I was with, is fearful avoidant which I didn't know until I learned through your videos. He wanted the same as I did (commitment and family), he was affectionate as me, he agrred almast on everything at begining until after a few months later he was slowly switching things that were too confusing for me. Apparently he was BS me for a year lol. He was very good at manipulating me because he didn't want to lose me nor his "freedom". So base on that I decided to walk away and move on. He wanted me to be part of his life but didn't see a point so I totally disconnected from him as I was emotionally and mentally exhausted. It is hard when emotions are strong but I decided to take care of my wellbeing. I'm healing now and I'm in the process on focusing on myself. I don't feel stressed and part of me is glad the relationship is over. Few more months and I'll be totally over him :) What a journey. Ps. I should've listened my intuition ( I knew something is not quite right with him as I felt his fear and insecurity) Live and learn :)

[@sulekarabykoglu3197]

This video needs more views. I've watched it 3 times in a row. You put things together in such an understandable way. You definetelly helped me to understand attachment syles better than some books I've read. Thanks for your efforts.

[@Sarajevo2000]

I'm having an uncountable aha moments while watching your videos. Thank you so much for the rich content ❤️❤️

[@dittebranderjensen5922]

i can't believe that i randomly came across this video, and it now hAVE changed my life. i have never been able to understand this attachment styles, but you describe it perfectly and now i for once found that missing piece in healing/regulating myself. I love you. thank you so much

[@tooljack4439]

Thank you for sharing the thoughts on the importance of Metaphors. I love how candid you are about it. Great job of the video Heidi.

[@larrychoiceman]

Just came across your videos for the first time. These are INCREDIBLY clear and brilliantly explained. Truly. Lotta content in this space on YT, but these are exceptionally well done videos. Thanks very much.

[@MultiCappie]

Binge watching your attachment videos, I'm just amazed how advanced this knowledge is. I feel like there must have been a researcher watching my past relationships because this is just sooooo correct.

[@jimmyz1686]

This is life changing!!!

[@jesshudson346]

Wow. I am eternally grateful for you and the information that you so freely share on your channel. I've gained more vital insight by listening to you share than I have ever gained through therapy or continuing education. Thank you, sincerely.

[@catielove5096]

Great metaphors! Your work is helping me understand attachment 😊

[@alexandra9944]

This is super helpful, thanks! Can't wait for the healing videos :)

[@JanKatrinaGuanzon]

Mee toooo. 💚

[@pabloravizzoli345]

Heidi!! I just found you a few days ago and I cannot believe how much hope and relief I'm getting from hearing your breakdown of attachment styles. Please tell me you coach people on this and how I can sign up with you.

[@clearance4274]

Clear and precise explanation with practical relevance - just wow and thanks🙏😍

[@QueenieEileenie]

Glad I found this video. So many questions answered!

[@kfa6830]

Wow, you've changed so much compared to your recent videos. So fun to see :)

[@el0blaino]

Great to have all three in the same frame for an extended discussion, I can recognize myself and various friends and significant others

[@adayinthelifeofastagehand]

I really love what your doing! Your take on and explanations of the attachments styles and how they translate to our everyday behavior is priceless. You have helped me grow leaps and bounds in all the areas I was lost in. I also love your arch from 2years ago, to the polished, clean, well spoken professional today. However. What happened to those old shows. I enjoyed the fast talking excited blonde girl. She was relatable. And she gives huge credibility to the work on yourself and how you have grown. I watch those and get excited. Please bring them back.

[@karamargot]

Thank you for your videos! This was so helpful ☺️

[@vichoiglesias]

I’m so happy you stayed with us instead of going for your dentist appointment ❤

[@malevich92]

Oh dear... I’m more of a secure attachment now but I didn’t realise that for most of my life, I was in a fearful avoidant. That makes me rather sad, but also should send hope to everyone that yes, you can become secure.

[@capriciousnature8921]

Wish I found these 2 years ago when you were posting~ But growth now is still better than none at all~

[@oftenlucid]

Thank you for this. A great baseline to start understanding myself. Lots of great perspectives to chew on. . . Sorry you missed your dentist appointment :) But thanks for keeping that in. . we are all human. . .

[@wendy645]

❤ Perfect metaphors are such a fantastic thing to happen upon!

[@4ut05et]

Where’s the KZbin button to get f-bomb, venti iced coffee Heidi back? Lol Your videos have changed my life for the better. I can’t thank you enough for your videos and dedication. Keep up the great work. ❤

[@shannahighsmith1179]

OMG this is so freaking GOOD.. I wish I had this the ENFP 10 mistakes 20 yrs ago most certainly 5 yrs ago.. but Really allowing me to see how Much I didn't know that I thought I did know.

[@moccijiminie3688]

Another common habit of the fearful-avoidant is going for people who are already in relationships. They can show you love but since they’re already with someone you’re never vulnerabile to them actually wanting to be with you long-term

[@KAZVorpal]

Thank you for pointing out how harmful using pain killers to hide symptoms is.

[@danlee5856]

Fearful avoidant style is psychological hell...that hit home! My girlfriend broke up with me 8 years ago. I convinced myself I was unlovable and I didn't want or need anyone. I'm just now looking at how my attachment contributed to my life and it's making me feel crazy! I want a relationship but at the same time, am scared to death. These videos are so helpful. It's like she knows my deepest inner workings. I sometimes shout, "come on!" 😂 I would like to know if it's a common reaction after a traumatic breakup for the fearful avoidant to swing into full avoidance and become a complete hermit. That's what I did for 8 years until someone cared enough to break through my armor and now I'm watching these videos 😂

[@ScottH7651]

just curios, how did they break through your FA armor? I would think the effort to break through would send you running. Would love to know. thanks for sharing.

[@koala01111986]

I had a few "relationships" during secondary school (if you can call them relationships 😅😅), then nothing for 15 years, I couldn't even share a flat with someone else during University, then had a 2 years relationship and then nothing for 5 years until I met someone, that ended up being an FA too (he opened up to me for the first time in his life, he has always kept people at arm length, was really into me, loving, caring, etc) but he got scared to death and pulled away. I was scared to death too but I was fighting it inside, he doesn't have any tools/experiences for this

[@slice66]

Love you Heidi! Hope all is well!

[@akashamedia671]

Can really tell you had a venti coffee and are geared up for the video the speed you’re talking😂 seriously though, you are one of the best at articulating these really complicated subjects out there and has been really helpful for me at making sense of the feelings and thoughts in a organized fashion. I’m also assuming most people who are watching these self help channels falls under the anxious attachment and I am no different. What has been most helpful for me is that I am seeing for the first time how my own behaviour has been manipulative in trying to get my own needs met from my avoidant partner and playing the victim and placing blame when those needs are not being met. As well I am able to understand my avoidant partner better as their behaviour has been very difficult to understand because they will avoid at any cost addressing it and I misinterpreted that as them not being loving or interested and felt really hurt and resentful and resorted to my anxious ways of trying to fix the them and the relationship only to be slamming into the walls they have put up. The cycle continued until I have finally stopped and am taking an honest look at myself and thanks to you pointing out my blind spots, because I also often use that as a metaphor for describing what we can not see about ourselves, like driving, we must actually turn and intentionally look at the blind spots to see what is there. Thank you so much 🙏 😊 💖keep up the great work!!

[@onplanetbanana]

Imagine being 32 & finding out you're fearful avoidant through a KZbin video 🫠

[@MarieGlenna]

❤

[@danlee5856]

Try 38 and realizing your career choices, your previous relationship failures, and how you interacted with everyone was determined by fearful avoidance! My mind was blown! 😂

[@koala01111986]

37...and everything makes sense now

[@JoeBurgess-rj1hz]

44😂

[@richardm654]

44 too 😅

[@joannamilano3542]

❤this is so good to have learned. Thanks Heidi

[@seanjohnson8622]

Thank you Heide! My wife and I went to the brink of divorce to find that I am anxious and she is avoidant, I am working on myself with way more insight on where she is coming from! I appreciate your channel, glad to have found you when I did.

[@janinepolanco319]

My new online therapist. Thank you!

[@angelresurreccion2161]

Hi Heidi! Thank you for posting videos, they are very informative and you are one of my favorite youtubers! I was wondering if you could make a “Relationship Advice” video and answer Q+A’s. I know you have a video about ENFP relationship mistakes and what we need in a relationship, but could you maybe speak on conflict resolution? specifically with ENFP woman and INFJ man?

[@lukeskywalker6641]

Omg bring that badass version of you back please! 🤯❤❤

[@amampathak]

Thank you sooo much for making this Heidi! Looks like I got some avoidant attachment in me, with the way I push and pull out of relationships, feeling wanting for intimacy and yet having that episode of "oh this is too much, need space, and need to get away from this" then back into seeking intimacy again.

[@lindsaydeaton3082]

I wish there was almost a slide show during because I tend to get confused by which style we're reviewing. This is really interesting and I appreciate you going over this!

[@babycakes8434]

I am glad that I am anxiously attached, I can work on it hopefully. It could be worse. I can attach to myself haha. I am solo now and so happy about it, nobody to dissapoint or dissapointing me. Your video answers a lot of questions, and clears out a lot of confusion.

[@salivadriven]

Oh boy. I am avoidant and he is anxious avoidant. Neither of us have had a lot of therapy but we’re on our way…..wish us luck. We just discovered you and your vlogs which has motivated us to seek therapy specific to attachment style. Thank you.

[@eduardomusic8560]

Hello Heidi, good evening! Great work in the audio of this video. I hope all

[@eduardomusic8560]

I hope all your videos be made with the same quality. Greetings from Sonora, México 🇲🇽

[@gaurigulwane3326]

I had my first romantic enconter and he happened to be an Avoidant dismissive. I typed him an INTJ. I think I'm securly attached but being around the INTJ made me so anxious- it changed my brain wiring for a while and took me a while to get back to securly attached. Relationships are meant to make you feel safe. If the other person's constant testing, observing and pushing away is hurting you, let go. You will find someone with whom it is very easy to just be with. ;)

[@davidmorrison7323]

Not a criticism: I don’t think I’ve ever seen as stark a contrast on a channel from where you were a few years ago to today. It’s amazing how it’s still similar content but the way you present to the world is so different. I think it’s just a sign of how you’ve done a lot of work and changed on your journey. All that said, I do miss the cursing a little bit in your new videos 😂 Thanks for the work you do.

[@LoreMIpsum-vs6dx]

Ah....the avoidant/anxious dance. How well I know it.

[@mwandikigitonga2562]

Wow... just wow. Fearful Avoidant was just spot on. Wow....

[@er6730]

Yes, thank you for seeing the Advil commercial like that! I've been horrified, and the people around me are confused about my reaction.

[@musiklyfe7683]

I can't stop watching all of your videos. Everything I've watched so far is an abundance of wisdom. However, I just realized something today with your videos. While I am not a fan of Canada at all, aside from the beautiful landscape that it provides.... A good percentage of the people I find myself watching a lot of on KZbin happen to be from Canada and moved to America..🤔🤔🤔 Oh and... I died laughing at... "Oh fuck me! Im supposed to be at a dentist appointment right now"😂😂😂 You could have edited that out but instead you put it in there. And keeping it in there makes the viewer realize just how real of a person you are. Makes me love ya that much more.

[@g-pawmcsammaaayyy...5656]

Thank you for your channel and your content. I really admire your work in every video i've seen, and i've saved whole slew to Watch Later. Wow, spot on. I won't self-diagnose here, but man, that checks a lotta boxes. ..

[@eyeseefeet]

very clear, thank you! sooo interesting

[@mattmangaming.528]

Amazing video..It’s so nice to solidify connections and have vocab for all this. I am Def fearful avoidant..I have always wondered why I crave relationships and also freak out about being held down by them. I definitely identify with the love/hate relationship with Love. And the illustration with the medicine was perfection. Needing it and then being sickened or reacting to it. My poor husband has not understood me for so long (we’ve been together for 11 yrs) And neither did I but thankfully we have the tools now to get to WORK! ***I am writing this as his wife on my husband’s google acct Haha FYI

[@NathanaelNaused]

Curious. How did you make it to being married given your attachment style? It's so common for that style to push away or end a relationship before it makes it to that point of commitment.

[@MsGaella]

Great metaphor. Thanks!

[@bettinawright3310]

I loved the analogy of immune system having been a microbiologist, and cackled at that part where you are absolutely right about the Advil ad. Sadly though, I'm fearful avoidant, and your immune system analogy kind of came true for me - I developed an autoimmune disease and the medication that keeps me alive I am really allergic to. It is a poignantly true metaphor it seems. Thank you for your videos, they're giving me some for what I have always felt was impossible.

[@sandraumney5516]

whoa. flippin' heck. blown away right now.

[@lobsterbisque7567]

Thank You for all Your insight, Hiedi!! I haven't been in a relarionship in 15yrs, and all of the information You present (esp. on attachment styles) has been extremely helpful for a healthy relationship, and shows me what I need to do on my end to nuture my current and future relationships. Thank You for sharing Your work with us!

[@adibfaisal2607]

The way you illustrated the hustle for worthiness, I am like somebody atlast understood me😂

[@caitlinowenkelly]

Maybe it’s just my anxious attachment getting triggered (and I LOVE this channel btw) but I feel like Heidi is hard on us anxious types!

[@Star-dj1kw]

❤ wow! The insights on my anxious tendencies- OUCH 😳. 4:18 I am afraid to speak up for what I want. Early in my marriage, I mustered up my courage and asked my husband for more conversation/connection. I said I was lonely. His response was SILENCE.

[@leicalove9384]

Fearful avoidant - the best of everything 🎉🙌😂

[@confuciusme]

Great analogy, thanks! Haha the dentist appointment ENFP moment I relate to this

[@paulschumacher1263]

Smashing video! Great analysis and explanation! I pretty much see myself as Avoidant--however, I have also done the Anxious and Fearful Avoidant on rare occasions. It seems to depend on the type of partner I fall in with. Any other people notice themselves in several styles? Also, rarely, I have been in Secure relationships, again, depending on the partner (i.e., if the partner is secure).

[@Guitar3801]

You’re so authentic and funny 😅 and smart

[@Alphabet7]

Can't wait to show her this

[@siryoucantdothat9743]

Yas finally someone who can explain without going all over the place cough tias