The 9 Marriage-Killing Habits You Need to AVOID in a Man

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤️ Get your copy of "The Man God Has For You" today! CLICK HERE 👉 www.themangodhasforyou.com​​ 👈 Women everywhere are calling this book a blessing to read.

[@beautifulblessedandbeloved659]

Hello, Stephan. Can you please bless us with a video expressing your views on a man who says he's formerly bisexual? If he has not been active with a man in over 3 years would it be wise to take a chance on such a man? I love getting your perspective on dating topics because it's always in such sharp contrast to my own views, causing me delves in deeper and not rush to judgement. I would really appreciate your thoughts on this issue. Thanks

[@juliewade8140]

@@beautifulblessedandbeloved659 yes, please Stephan address this topic.

[@almetabowman990]

God bless you Precious Stephan!!! I am giving God Thanks for blessing you again to share a wealth of Wisdom and Knowledge to your Audience. I've prayed and asked God to continue to Bless and Anoint you beyond measures. I Truly enjoy listening to you speak, watching you be serious, down to earth, transparent as well as times when you are humerous and sharing laughter. May you continue to have a blessed and living evening that's filled with and abundance of unconditional love, joy and laughter in the sweet and miraculous name of Jesus. Always Love Queen Almeta❤😘🙏🏿

[@carolinah2701]

Awesome book, so helpful

[@beautifulblessedandbeloved659]

@B Real That's also my thought on the issue but I want to hear Stephan's opinion, he gives excellent advice. He offers an alternate perspective from mine on most things and many times he is absolutely right.

[@cruzan8183]

I have been married for over 25 years. I can tell you that the inability to set boundaries with your family can be detrimental to a marriage. My mother was resentful of my wife. I had to choose between my wife and my mother. It was a stressful situation but I made the right choice. I have seen a lot of guys allow their mothers to destroy their relationship with their wives. We should respect our mothers but that doesn't give them right to ruin our lives. Sometimes parents are trying to project their dysfunction on your relationship. The man's mother may be jealous of her son's wife because he treats her better than she was ever treated . She doesn't think that her daughter in law should be treated like a queen when she never was. Men must separate completely from their family of origin in order to be successful in their marriages.

[@alberthechristophe377]

You are Absolutely right.

[@tinamichelle6969]

I totally agree

[@nataliegallon7186]

Jealousy comes from many, including your loved ones. Good for you being a man of integrity in your marriage.

[@ninaspanky2939]

Very correct on this👌

[@Gloria_All_Day]

Amen. Leave your father and mother and cleave to your wife and the two shall become one.

[@lathiemckinney2934]

After having 2 failed marriages I'm a witness. What you see is what you get. Be sure what you see is what you want.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.

[@NaturalSmyles2u]

So true

[@denisemcdougal6445]

So true

[@Zarasha1]

Wow this is the best advice. Thank you.

[@lisahowell6701]

I agree what you see is what you get but also check if they are a person of their word, does it mat- ch what he's doing???

[@julesosaz7974]

“Women don’t mind giving a push but they don’t wanna continuously carry “ Amen to that

[@gunarasnaca6130]

I am exhausted from carrying :(

[@LoveAndSnapple]

AMEN!!!!!!! This is the problem with the guy I’m seeing. He’s so doubtful of himself and I told him that he needs to get it together and find the fire within himself. We’re not exclusive though, so I’ll just walk away if he doesn’t get it together.

[@jackiemullane5684]

@@gunarasnaca6130 me too in Ireland

[@adelinedb5606]

@@LoveAndSnapple how do you manage to not be emotionally affected ? I am in this situation and we are exclusive and I wanna be patient and let him be / get it together but I don’t know how long I should “wait” until it’s time to let go

[@LoveAndSnapple]

@@adelinedb5606 Don’t worry Sis, I’m still learning too. The problem is you made yourself exclusive to him when he is not ready for you. Downgrade your relationship to “just dating” so you don’t lose anything from this interaction. It’s much easier for women to become emotional and fall into this trap because, “it can’t hurt to wait a little while longer, right?”. “It can’t hurt to be his support when he needs a shoulder, right?” Wrong. You are a woman and you are born to receive. You are not meant to “wait”, you are meant to be waited ON. A White woman that actually cares about me (and got married before me) said, “you’re going to have to get a little mean.” We’re not out here to hurt people’s feelings and destroy them, but it’s like wearing a shoe a size too small. You can tell yourself that it’s not that bad, but the hurt WILL come eventually. The worse thing you can ever do is tie yourself down to someone when someone ELSE could be waiting to treat you right, right NOW. Cheerleaders are cheerleaders from the sidelines and Wives sit courtside. She can still cheer, but she doesn’t have to do all that “rah, rah, rah” that cheerleaders do. Marriage magnifies the red flags in dating. So if you’re his cheerleader in dating, you’ll practically be his life coach in marriage.

[@mishm.3893]

I dated a man who was a long distance truck driver. He had no apartment or home and stayed with me when he was "home". We spoke about marriage, discussed expectations, looked at rings (his idea). The topic of finances made him agitated, which was a huge red flag. He did not want to talk about income, credit, taxes, or savings. I had a large home which I loved and worked hard to get and maintain. I couldn't allow him to stay with me anymore. I knew it wasn't right. I felt like I was boarding him. I ended the relationship completely when I asked if he was prepared to purchase us a home if we got married and he said no, then he asked why couldn't we just live in my house. I knew he wasn't marriage material for me early on but ignored my own standards. Big mistake!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm sorry to hear about that, I pray that you heal from all that you have been through, and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️

[@HappyBeeTV-BeeHappy]

His idea of a ring was a red flag too. Guys offers a ring to keep a woman the way he want her. Which is never nothing real and serious but only to board him and supply him. The ring is just an illusion to have her think that she got a man. And you did the right thing to let him go.

[@tranquility9325]

I won't be involved with another otr truck driver again. He didn't have a home either so likes to live off of women. Found out after a 20 plus yr so called marriage that he had lots of women on the side. That lifestyle makes it too easy for them to cheat. Nope, no more.

[@HappyBeeTV-BeeHappy]

@@tranquility9325 I know what you mean, bcuz my big brother was like that. Living off women his whole life.

[@nataliegallon7186]

Asking the right questions will open our eyes every time. Glad God took those blockers off your eyes.

[@007stinkey]

Marriage does not change his character.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

You're absolutely right!

[@rolandorzabal1955]

Found that out the hard way

[@yourlovestorytarot2864]

YOU covered some really good issues in a relationship. Marriage changes nothing.... He is what he is when YOU are dating him. What YOU SEE is what YOU GET. Marriage will NOT change him.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

You're absolutely right thank you for sharing marriage changes nothing!

[@nooranarnold258]

DAMM,ABSOLUTELY TRUE..HE IS,ABUSIVE,VERBALLY. HAS MAJOR ANGER ISSUES PLUS HIS GOT A DRINKING PROBLEM...I DNT THINK GETTING MARRIED TO HIM...WILL CHANGE HIM..SO BY THE WAY..HE DOESN'T WANT TO GET MARRIED...SORRY...I'M NOT DESPERATE NOR IM I DELUSIONAL..HIS 58 YEARS OLD...WAS MARRIED...FOR 20 YEARS...GOT DIVORCED DUE TO HIS DRINKING...THOUGHT I COULD CHANGE HIM...WHAT A WASTE OF TIME 🤨😒

[@yourlovestorytarot2864]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks You are welcome Stephan. Thank you for making this video, it helps women in so many ways, who maybe are not aware of this. You gave excellent guidance on this subject.

[@marykennedysherin3330]

Not necessarily, my ex was prince charming until we got married! Then dr Jeckel turned into Mr Hyde

[@lauryjerry1566]

I totally agree!!! Only God changes a Man but not a woman!!!

[@justfit71]

If you are always the person pushing someone to become better at the end of the day it affects you mentally. NOT GOOD FOR ANY RELATIONSHIP

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Absolutely!

[@imanidavis4423]

That’s why you have to stop pushing and feeling like you can change people. Either accept them and love them for who they are and pray for better days or move on

[@justfit71]

@@imanidavis4423 great point & thanks for sharing

[@pedrohipolito3206]

It really work for me ,I got my ex lover back within 24hours

[@pedrohipolito3206]

➕2349057450254⏮️⏮️⏮️➕

[@SimplyMee..228]

I’m 40, not married and no children. Why? Because I value PEACE. I’m not one of those women who need titles. If the shoe don’t fit, I’m not going to keep wearing them until I develop calluses on my damn feet. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.

[@shauniesmitem6928]

THAT IS FUNNY. HOPE U GET MARRIED THOUGH N BE HAPPY. U CAN HAVE PEACE N A HAPPY MARRIAGE, IF U INCLUDE GOD.

[@shauniesmitem6928]

OH...N IF HE IS THE ONE.

[@corinalouis5911]

Some can be single and childless and have no PEACE but I hear you.

[@lauryjerry1566]

Am joining this club !! Lets help more single mothers ,foster homes and orphanages..that is our calling !!! if a good man comes we are in and good if not we will still be good

[@sophisticatedmm3632]

Not taking accountability for his actions is a huge red flag for me

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.

[@lindacoleman2946]

Sadly 😥 but said it loud !!! for the people in the back

[@angelflower176]

Amen to this or can’t say sorry when wrong!

[@sophisticatedmm3632]

@@angelflower176 It's worse when they can't/ don't give an apology but try to contact you & make small talk like nothing is wrong

[@runningwithscissors1564]

What I can’t stand is when both parties are at fault for something, but one blatantly refuses to see the error of their ways while the other one can admit to their own wrongdoings. What makes it worse is when that same initial party places all accountability and blame on the second party even after they have apologized profusely and have changed their ways for the better. All this goes on while the initial party NEVER alters their behaviors and ways of thinking.

[@PatriceM14]

My pastor says the same thing--"whatever characteristics or habits a person has before marriage will be the same after they get married, unless God changes their heart."

[@whatsinaname2706]

People are what they want themselves to be!

[@d.c.5033]

Amen

[@dr.sheilawitherspoon1667]

"A man ain't got no business asking a woman for money." ~ My Dad (1930-1990)

[@josephinebournes8212]

Wise words spoken 👏🏿

[@livefromtheground7274]

Facts

[@beanandpopcorn]

YES! sis why don't women and men understand this. I always felt this way. A man needs to ask another man for money. If you're a man and down and out find another testicle holder to help you out. But if I need help pull that wallet out 🥰🤑

[@jandegonzales]

Then where does her money go?

[@oceanchesebro7605]

Good man! R.I.P

[@Yeshua-Hamashiach7]

“Marriage is like a magnifier, it will magnify the good and the bad” Thank you Stephan. 💯

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

My pleasure ❤

[@raannjoyl2268]

Ain't that the truth!

[@barbarabrown2277]

Agree 💯

[@barbarabrown2277]

WORDS OF WISDOM: The choices we make in life have consequences whether they have positive or negative effects. Don't light yourself on fire trying to brighten up someone else's existence. Rest in Gods Grace's. Amen.

[@barbarabrown2277]

💯 AGREEMENT!

[@Gypsi]

Oh wow! 😭 My boyfriend asked me to marry him and I just have a feeling God sent my husband and to get the confirmation that he doesn’t possess any of these traits is a blessing in itself ♥️

[@prettyminaj5268]

So proud of you beautiful, hope you have a beautiful everlasting marriage🤍

[@NaturallyPrettyBrownK26]

❤️❤️❤️

[@taneyat6_33]

So what are you going to do?

[@desiree2299]

Congratulations!

[@shakiramoore3069]

Heed the warnings.

[@Redlady8029]

I agree with you. I married potential in a man that never developed. When I was walking down the aisle I knew I was making a mistake. He never saw a need to grow. When the verbal abuse moved to physical abuse---I left. 😢

[@jkkennedy8919]

Glad you made it out of that situation

[@mariahconklin4150]

This is why I want to grow and do better I don’t want to be stuck

[@mariahconklin4150]

@@lala5061 why does this happen to people? I’ve been in relationships like this. The guy I was with took all the blame each time that’s how he stayed in control.

[@stephanies.3198]

I married a man for his potential also and he never produced for 5years unmarried 4 years married ( no change) , it turned into cheating and verbal abuse by him. I left. I am glad you made it out. Praise God, I will never do it again.

[@nataliegallon7186]

Amen

[@chefnic4763]

Don't settle. God has so many wonderful things for you ❤

[@opallight8069]

Amen. I’ve got to a point with Jesus’ help that I’d rather be single for the rest of life than settle 🥰.

[@poleen000]

Even if HE doesn't, we need to learn that there is nothing wrong with being alone.

[@chefnic4763]

@@poleen000 He does! Even if it's not in the form of a relationship. His love comes in many forms.

[@poleen000]

@@chefnic4763 That's true 👍

[@jackiemullane5684]

@@opallight8069 I'm trying so badly right now please pray for me

[@classicrebel9577]

Marrying late is a blessing despite society or (Kevin Samuels lol) thinks because you have room to learn from your mistakes and learn from other marriages. And most importantly know and understand yourself.

[@nalahbaer8290]

I think the point is that we are not being trained and prepared properly, when it comes to choosing your partners. So a lot of people are learning this later in life, because it hasn't been a focus while young.

[@lilymcnabb6621]

I am not sure I agree. I married (first and only) at 47 and he was 54. It was bait and switch. He treated me so well while we were dating but within 3 months of marriage it was clear it wouldn't last. 3.5 years. People that marry older have more ingrained habits that they may be blind to and less flexible. Maturity is a must regardless of age.

[@CCCC-fp5gw]

The problem with marrying later is that many continue perusing the dating market, getting hurt, getting discouraged. Marrying later doesn't always mean maturity and readiness..it can breed resentment and cynism towards the opposite sex.

[@livefromtheground7274]

I’m on the fence with that one. We all get set in out ways the older we get. We also get beat up by life along the trail.

[@ramblingmillennial1560]

Only problem is the biological clock for women, but depends on how late you're talking about.

[@sandragreen5146]

Anger issues, not able to react well to things they don't want to hear.And when it happened they can't calmly talk things out, they have outburst followed by yelling,and saying anything they can to hurt you.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.

[@sandragreen5146]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks you more than welcome😊❤

[@jayc5756]

FR. SMH!

[@equillasavage308]

That is soooooooo TRUEEEEEE! Dealing with a man at this present time where he yells and scream when things don't go his way

[@mariahconklin4150]

That used to be me in my last relationship but the guy never wanted to do anything in his life just work and come home didn’t even want to grow as a person. Now I’m with someone who’s super busy but still seems to have low self esteem but then I have to think is it me with the low self esteem? 🤷‍♀️

[@ggjj999]

You could have saved me years of misery. Ladies, listen to this man!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

🙏

[@TriniWmn]

WORD!

[@wendyzelaya182]

This video came out when I was dealing with a man with these exact traits.. WHY couldn’t I have seen this before!!!

[@vsims5987]

Don't waist another year of your life with him! PLEASE

[@vickypeju6644]

I think this is for me. Always promising always failing at his promises. Mehn! I don't see me trying to get him to sit up for life

[@lindajones684]

My grandmother said “Once a man starts to abuse you, he never stops!!! Especially if he doesn’t seek help!!!

[@samanthamichelle7219]

I have begun to think that maybe people don’t want marriage! And that’s super important to me ! A spiritual connection is a must ! I’ve never been married and I’m 41 but I honestly do believe that god has a partner for me and it will be a divine connection in divine timing ❤️

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤ thank you for sharing and I pray that you receive the partner who is truly best for you the one God has for you 🙏

[@jayc5756]

Some ppl don't. Some do. It is what it is

[@marlenewilliams5539]

I truly agree Sis! I too am 41 and never married.

[@weekendnomad5038]

Check your friend zone lol

[@myfantribe8501]

God has nothing to do with a natural decision. If He did then you could blame him when it goes wrong. The odds dramatically go up the older you get. Ask yourself what product goes up in value with time and use? Then ask yourself do I need to reevaluate if I am putting a realistic value on myself?

[@laneys2030]

Some men are not ambitious i dated a man who was comfortable in his job. He would say wow your so strong you dont need me around. I tried to help him but i learned leave him alone and on top of that he said marriage is just a piece of paper and so i wished him well and didnt look back.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏

[@laneys2030]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks thank you i appreciate this video , i am glad i walked away. I kept telling myself it should not be this hard to love someone .

[@hienienguyen6766]

Aw that is truly sad. Some boys just play too many games a real man would honor you

[@dimplesp4046]

Whoa, thank you I needed to hear this.

[@pedrohipolito3206]

It really work for me ,I got my ex lover back within 24hours

[@edithhouldieson5037]

"Give with your eyes open." Life-changing words for a people-pleaser.

[@JJ121333]

Amen to that x10!!👏👏👏

[@beautifulcatastrophe7433]

I’m listening to this video already confirming that I should call off my engagement, I’m 40 never been married and I’m NOT going to settle, every habit mentioned my fiancé has, he’s definitely NOT the man God has for me. I can do bad all by myself.

[@Zarasha1]

Girl run.🏃🏃🏃🙏🙏🙏

[@sjtalksandlife]

Might be dodging a bullet sis..😓😉👍🏿

[@EcoworksFL]

Please save yourself future heartache if you see the signs now

[@MsDawn2dusk]

Good 4 U!

[@Violets14]

I hope you have the strength to make the best decision. It's great that you are keeping your eyes open and listening to your feelings.

[@listeningviayoutube7229]

Stephan, when you talk about the women who "knowingly" married the wrong man--you are spot on and described many people I know.😁

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

It's a sad truth some women marry the wrong man knowingly and marry for wrong reasons.

[@listeningviayoutube7229]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks So true, in most cases "Just to say they are married" Smh

[@blackmamba2345]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks Is it wrong to marry for financial security and protection?

[@brick_housedee6711]

😂😂😂

[@nadulamb4141]

Yes I definitely idolized the title But was a hurt blind young lady. Thought I could inspire him. Cost me almost my life

[@josesantizo4432]

This is a nice video for me as a man to remind myself to keep grinding, growing, and evolving

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!

[@NaturallyPrettyBrownK26]

❤️❤️❤️💪🏾

[@FreedomForAllForever]

❤❤❤

[@shalalala868]

Love it!

[@ChristianaSenibo]

So much truth in this video Stephan 👏🏾. Alot of people hope that marriage will fix pre-existing issues- I call then "pre- existing conditions" 🙂 but marriage simply amplifies these issues. Marriage is a very important relationship that people shouldn't get into without having clear conversations about expectations and needs. Thanks for this.

[@carlosverde-datingtips7001]

Great advice - Christiana! Marriage is such a big step, it should not be taken lightly, it’s supposed to last a lifetime. Lol I know some people go into it for the wrong reasons, and they’re shocked when it doesn’t work out. Make sure you work on yourself first before you make that big decision… that way you’re able to deal with the ups and downs of being married - because it will come, and you’ll be ready! Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

You're absolutely right!

[@shanihl1129]

Yes definitely amplifies issues because you are connected to this person through vows.

[@jayc5756]

Exactly

[@Womenuniqueness]

You are absolutely right

[@teresabarklind7057]

A man or a woman shouldn’t engage in porn ( truthfully it’s a form of adultery ) not to mention what it does to a marriage or even the spirit

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.

[@nenew24]

🙄

[@chantehowe7798]

My ex husband always watched porn fb women anything that had women in it he was looking smh

[@normarodriguez5535]

@@chantehowe7798 ugggh dont u hate that?..glad hes ur ex now

[@teresabarklind7057]

Truth you deserve better than them ( you have more worth and value to be settling ( just pray for them to get help for their addictions and for their souls ( God bless you

[@selethiajones1615]

I needed this message. I was recently engaged to a man that displayed many of the things he mentioned. I'm so glad God showed me 🙏

[@murtalamadugu2098]

It really work for me ,I got my ex lover back within 24hours..

[@murtalamadugu2098]

I recommend you to a man who can help you manifest whatever and who ever you want to manifest within two-days.....

[@murtalamadugu2098]

He was the person who helped me manifest back my ex three days ago with out delay ❤️

[@murtalamadugu2098]

Contact him on WhatsApp for help..

[@murtalamadugu2098]

✝2349055550074👈👈⏮⏮🌺💞

[@alluringbliss4165]

I grew up around these type of men who cheat, beat up their wife, verbally abused children and wives, had kids outside their marriage. What I saw and was taught is that God unified them, so the women, had to put up with those abuses and pray about it for the rest of their lives. As a product of these dysfunctionalities, I took a different stance. The adults never take responsibilities for the damages they caused, so it is my job to take responsibility for my life and the type of man I allow in my life and around my children.

[@rashonspencer2734]

AMEN AMEN AMEN SIS!! WELL SPOKEN! I TRULY COMMEND YOU. MAY GOD CONTINUE BLESSING AND STRENGTHENING YOU!

[@sunshinesunflowerz1647]

Same Sis: 39 and no children yet.

[@JennyFB1281]

Complacent people will end up trying to hold you back because they don't want to see you level up beyond where they are.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Most definitely!

[@benjaminstoute]

99% of all men and women have at least 1 of these problems to some degree, I think everyone who watches this video can look inside and see at least one of these flaws in themselves. 💜 and that's where we need to start.

[@moniquebowens800]

Agreed. That's when that accountability comes into play.

[@nikkyjackson6500]

I’m currently married to a Man with all this traits. It’s been a hell of a marriage. I need to be single again

[@danipandaxo]

Good luck to you. You watching this is something in you telling you this isn’t right.

[@farmerfox99]

So sorry No way you could show him this. Set a date say if there is no growth here I’m bouncing

[@NaturallyPrettyBrownK26]

@@danipandaxo 💯

[@poleen000]

All of them? There might be something wrong with you. Seek professional help asap.

[@ladinai90]

@@poleen000 why do you have to say it like that 🤦🏽‍♀️ she is one step towards bettering herself by not being in denial and realizing he is not the one

[@mariannami8049]

I should have heard this about 20 years ago when I married my husband. He’s 95% of what’s mentioned here. No wonder this marriage is a burden for me.

[@rolandorzabal1955]

Are you still married? How are you dealing with it. I've been married for 5 years and I am miserable

[@alinaward5347]

I wish I heard this thirty years ago but I have a wonderful son to love when all is said and done.

[@theturnup9671]

Wish i had heard this before getting married 16 years ago but by year 14 i finally woke up. Older now and wiser. Divorced and had a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. My ex displayed ALL of these negative traits except for one(porn).

[@n.m6249]

My boyfriend wants to get married but I'm very scared of committing, I'm scared of losing my freedom. His father doesn't like me which makes me have doubts even more. I'm so sorry about what you ladies are going through, being in a miserable marriage is my biggest fear

[@maxpower6979]

This is pretty disrespectful that you guys are airing your partner out on social media.

[@sarahsmrdal7094]

U are right. Most of us women have a gut feeling when we marry the wrong person.

[@edwardswhitley]

So many men have all these traits. It is overwhelming

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Kindly don’t say that, there are a lot of good men out there!

[@sweetpea7362]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks I do believe there are good men but its hard to find these men without any of these traits. It’s possible as woman we don’t know what traits to look for to weed out the rotten apples.

[@QueenB-yv7br]

Absolutely! Lot of men have at least two or more of these. God fearing man is a good bet however. Important to remember everyone comes with their issues.. porn and addiction part is very rampant. Too many giving into their flesh.

[@QueenB-yv7br]

@@sweetpea7362 this video is a good guide. He’s highlighting the deal breakers for marriage

[@brick_housedee6711]

And Exhausting too 😵‍💫

[@CoCo-yv3hl]

Currently my fiancé 🤦🏽‍♀️ some things I didn’t get to see until we moved into together. I’m done with the relationship because ppl don’t change with the inspiration of others IMO. They do show you who they are. If they are masking it, they won’t be able to for too long. Some of the things happening are deal breakers on top of him not keeping his words. He’s 10 years older & im 10 steps ahead…. So he now thinks going to counseling I will change my mind. Um no because not all men are this & very easy for me to find a partner. The right one is the challenge.

[@whiteprisms3123]

Well, if he's trying to change by going to counselling, perhaps you should give him a chance and let him make the effort. After all, no one is perfect and every relationship takes effort

[@thurmangirl10]

Run & don't look back friend!

[@ericajanellelifecoaching]

This message is so important… I was definitely guilty of this in my early 20’s. In my 40’s my standards are completely different. I am super ambitious and I can’t be with someone that doesn’t have the same level of drive and passion . We must remove the rose colored glasses and evaluate the man logically to see if he is what you actually need/desire.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that!

[@dafnenoel9825]

Facts 💯 💯 💯

[@skyfall1481]

When you are a busy, organised woman being involved with an inconsistent and undisciplined man, the balance is off and doesn’t work.

[@ericajanellelifecoaching]

@@skyfall1481 absolutely!

[@mariahconklin4150]

Yeah but a man can be ambitious but have low self esteem. I’m with a man who says he used to be a borderline sociopath and I don’t think it’s gone…he says God has taken it away but I don’t think God has. 🤷‍♀️🤔

[@laurak3990]

I pray that this video get tremendous exposure. This is the first time i have ever heard this man. He is 10000% right about all this. I have made all these mistakes he is referring to. Abd after 21 years if a very unhappy marriage, im on my own now for 5. Still not untangled from the mess created. May God bless Stephans work here and may it reach many a needful ear. He is abundantly wise. Listen to him..avoid years of needless pain.

[@rashonspencer2734]

I'm praying for YOU SIS, that our GOD WILL GIVE YOU DELIVERENCE EXPEDITIOUSLY! IN JESUS NAME. AMEN

[@laurak3990]

@@rashonspencer2734 thank you very much

[@NickNotas]

If someone is unwilling to or incapable of change, changing the status of the relationship is not going to fix your problems. Don't marry someone you aren't 100% compatible with, thinking that marriage is going to make up for your current struggles! -Emma

[@veronicasmith4503]

IMPOSSIBLE to be 100 % compatible with another. That is like asking for perfection and that does NOT exist.

[@beckyd712]

If they "need to change" to be who you want, RUN THE OTHER DIRECTION. They have to want to change (on their own,) without you pushing or it won'r work and will be a nightmare.

[@hannah_ferrari]

I love that you mentioned the part about the womens mother saying “that’s what people do when they’re in love” in regards to the stalking. Same goes for telling young kids that when kids are mean it means they like you. We’ve been conditioned to thinking that’s normal and it’s not! People need to stop telling their kids this!

[@brendam8034]

I wish I had this information years 10 yrs ago, I married this man who have all 9 issues & is a Narc. But most and importantly I was strong enough to walk away from this man. I Thank God for protecting me and giving me strength to get out of this situation. Im also so glad to have found Stephen on KZbin, everything he says is sooooo true, such great wisdom. Ladies & Gentleman we must open our eyes and pay attention and DO NOT settle for anybody. Im going thru my healing process stress free & happy. Thank You Stephen for You Tube videos, This really helps people who wants help.🙏🏽🤗

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm happy this has been helpful to you and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏 and don't forget to subscribe and click the notification bell so that you can be notified each time I release a new video!

[@nadulamb4141]

You give me hope that I can exit too💛 thank you for sharing sister

[@brendam8034]

@@nadulamb4141 Please put God first and he will work everything else out for the good. Stay in prayer that’s what helped me stay strong thru the process up until it was time for me to leave. 🙏🏽🙂

[@lamaja19]

Stephan, you hit so many points. Dated a man who was so stingy he gave me for my 50th b'day a picture framed with a saying that he already owned. Told him he was selfish. He said he doesn't "sell fish". Wouldn't pay for gas or buy a gallon of milk for me yet always had money to get a hair trim every 2 weeks. Dumped him awhile ago & can laugh about it now.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm sorry to hear about that, I pray that you heal from all that you have been through, and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️

[@donnacardenas6958]

This is just what I needed right now...i have been married for the 2nd time for 9 years now and I am ready to run...my husband is very good with paying the bills but is very stingy...but its not about money for me its loyalty...His eyes r on every woman except his wife...but yes u r right I knew this when I married him and thought that I could make things better...if u do not have trust or love in ur marriage it will not work...so far everything ur saying is right on...Thanku I needed this...No worries lol I already made up my mind to Run!!!!!!

[@nancinew8288]

Thank God you are getting out. Run run run 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

[@msrawynn]

Same , sis, experiencing similar situation…so you’re not alone. I ignored my own instinct which was a huge mistake.

[@janicesg6218]

I'm trying to run, I'm over 60 yrs and it so much work. But I have to do it for myself, no affection for yrs now. I need LOVE! I can be lonely all by myself. Money is also an issue, it doesn't matter how much money is coming in, he always gets the account to zero. They he wonders why we have no savings. Many other issues too.

[@sj468]

Listened to my intuition and exited that relationship. All points you mentioned were present except the physical /emotional abuse. I just couldn’t do it. Frustrating and heartbreaking, as he wasn’t a bad person he was very immature for a 50year old.

[@gr8tfuldaily]

Yea, 53 yrs old, has most of these qualities, need to make a life changing decision, I should have waited & listened to my spirit more

[@MissTiffany01]

I’m 40 & Just left my 50 year old because he was too immature as well. Do men ever grow up? Smh

[@lindacoleman2946]

@@MissTiffany01 SMH help us Jesus

[@rashonspencer2734]

SPEAK ON IT!!

[@jamaicanjoyh6883]

@@MissTiffany01 NOOOO sis most don't..we womem must hold their feet to the fire or leave em alone... cause this is RIDOCULOUS.

[@adwoaboakye265]

I was waiting for the stingy man. They are the “your money is our money but my money is my money “ type of people. Aside that stinginess goes wells with selfishness.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.

[@solopa3808]

I was dating this guy that said that I never seem to be around when I get paid from work...I was like wtf...what's my money got to do with you when I work hard to get it...so damn out of line

[@erinedwards6970]

Good afternoon Mr.Stephan. This was a BANGER!💥 You dropping some SERIOUS jewels. I'm only 18, as well as a freshman in college. I major in phycology and I love it!😆 I did talk to some boys back in high school and unfortunately I did learn my lesson quite early.😂😂 But I am not dating anytime soon. I am going through my healing process , from past childhood and adolescence trauma and hurt, as well as past relationship trauma and hurt. I am not putting a time on my healing process because I as well as refuse to be a burden on my future partner/spouse. As well as find a jacked up partner/spouse.🤣🤣🤣 But anywho yet again , I can't even say it enough. But God is really using you. I thank God for fooling around on KZbin and finding this channel. You do your thing! But most of all keep God first and keep following your purpose. ❤️✨

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Healing is definitely key, I'm happy that this has been helpful to you, I appreciate your feedback, and don't forget to share so that others can receive love and healing ❤ 🙏

[@blesschild2159]

So proud of you. Your comment shows that you have learnt and are growing beautifully. Love ur maturity. God bless u. Continue to wait upon God🙏

[@erinedwards6970]

@@blesschild2159 Why Thank You! You are as well pure spirited for taking the time to read my testimony and replying with something uplifting. You be blessed. ❤️✨

[@annjones4583]

This is GOOOOOOOOOODDD!!! It has truly confirmed what I learned and experienced from my last relationship/Marriage and I see where I chose to ignore the signs, from the beginning, because he/the relationship started out "different." NEVER AGAIN will I ignore what is clear. We have to Listen because they will tell who they are in the beginning even when they try and laugh it off, RUN!

[@kellyparadis1039]

That's right. Run as fast as you can.

[@heyalexiajanee]

Great message! I think sometimes the fear of bring alone plus an unrealistic view of marriage is why people ignore the signs and when you’re enjoying being with someone you’re more forgiving. Marriage is work, running errands with someone for the rest of your life🤣🤣🤣. So pick someone that encourages you to be better and you do the same🤗

[@dancerdancer313]

About point # 2: It's not all about how much you make, it's about how much you keep and how you're able to make that money multiply via different assets. 99% of ppl are bad with money because they are financially illiterate. YOU literally have to SEEK the knowledge to become financially literate - it's not taught in school (and that's for a reason too). Most professional athletes go BANKRUPT within 5 years of retirement. Actors, rappers and singers run into financial problems all the time because they don't know how to handle their money while they have a career in entertainment. They don't usually plan for when their career is over or they gradually lose relevance if they are in music. Lottery winners are another example of ppl who were never financially literate, suddenly got a massive amount of money - then they are broke within 5 - 10 years. Also, higher income earners tend to get caught in "keeping up with the Joneses" and also, the more they make, they more they spend.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.

[@ileanahope466]

I agree totally! Its not how much you make but how much you spend and save!

[@rachelbuono6354]

Porn and sex addiction get overlooked so easily! Thank you for bringing this up! It takes a VERY VERY specialized treatment for SA- including polygraphs- to address this issue. Please seek out specialize help and not try to go it alone!!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback!

[@rachelbuono6354]

I wish I didn’t know this…

[@nancinew8288]

No way would I waste my time on someone who I think needs a polygraph test. Get out and don’t look back is what I think❤️

[@craftsentic1899]

This is huge Bcuz lust can really cloud their judgment, sear their conscience, hinder their spiritual growth, cause them to resent u sexually, cause them to resent u spiritually, and possibly lead to infidelity!! And if you are dating a Godly man, evaluate whether or not he is actively working on his spiritual development Bcuz that will be a key factor in determining if he is actively fighting against sin or if he has surrendered over to some stronghold or lustful sin pattern!!

[@Fazefazefaze25]

STEPHAN!!!!!! This is incredible, I wish soooo many people could listen to this. WISDOM!!!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Glad to hear that, thank you for your response and be sure to share so that others can receive love and healing ❤

[@denisemcdougal6445]

Men are not “ fixer-uppers” for that fact women either. I had to learn “ what you see is what you get “

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

You're absolutely right!

[@CoCo-yv3hl]

Side note ppl should have mental health/counseling appointments as much as physical, dental etc. IMO

[@ritascott1104]

Spot on Coco! One must take care of the WHOLE man/woman.

[@Wayoutgurl]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@lisalee1878]

Definitely agree!! 💯💯

[@valerieross954]

You speak the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. There were soooo many of these signs that I rationalized in my 28 year marriage. Deep down I knew I deserved better, but I allowed fear of being alone and thoughts of there were marriages a lot worse than mine, I remained. As you said, marriage amplifies those bad habits. He got really comfortable with the disrespect. I finally got the strength to see him for who he’d always been and leave. That’s the best decision I have ever made for myself. Thank s so much for your advise. Your books and videos have truly been a blessing to me. I shared your wisdom with my daughter. I also tell my son to watch and learn from you as well. Thanks so much!!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm happy you find this helpful, thank you for sharing, I appreciate your support!

[@nataliesilva5048]

I’m so proud of you for leaving, I’m dealing with the same thing but I have 5 kids and just found out I’m pregnant and I’m so confused I know I need to leave but I’m scared I won’t survive financially I do work full time but idk if it’ll be enough… anyways I’m happy you left.. ❤️

[@pedrohipolito3206]

It really work for me ,I got my ex lover back within 24hours

[@pedrohipolito3206]

What sapp ⏮️⏮️⏮️

[@theturnup9671]

@@nataliesilva5048 You got this. I recently divorced with four kids. For the many reasons in this video and realizing that he simply wont change and i can't change him. I was scared too and i still am but Im allowing my self worth to be greater than my fear. knowing your self worth is the best thing you can do for your kids in the long run. I deserve better. My kids deserve better. You deserve better and your kids deserve better.

[@reshaundaliv9176]

My Lord!! So true ,a person who thinks nothing is wrong with them is like talking to a brick wall...😅

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Absolutely!

[@jkkennedy8919]

Exactly That person is a narcissist

[@pedrohipolito3206]

It really work for me ,I got my ex lover back within 24hours

[@pedrohipolito3206]

➕2349057450254⏮️⏮️⏮️➕

[@s.freeman4701]

This is my husband for you, it honestly is the worst feeling!

[@slurpeeeeee425]

I’ve noticed a lot of these in myself, so I’ll definitely take this personal so I could work on my “problems”. Obviously no one’s perfect, but I want to get better so I am aware that I am this way currently and I’ve seen how it affects the people I do love.

[@desiree2299]

It takes a Great deal of Strength and Wisdom to admit This ❤ ! Love, Joy and Peace on your Healing Journey 💌🙏🏽

[@slurpeeeeee425]

@@desiree2299 thank you. I’ve been living in denial for a long time, but that takes me NOOWHERE 😅 so it’s better acknowledging this, to definitely don’t make a big deal out of it so I’ll feel ashamed for being a certain way. And maybe inspire other to not fear development in one self 💪🏻💕

[@pinkishdiamondz]

@@slurpeeeeee425 just awesome... you've slayed your ego... the options will be yours to choose 😉

[@rashonspencer2734]

Your not alone sis. Big of you to speak out regarding yourself and not the man. Praying for you..us with love

[@fayfalcon7642]

You need a “ measure of humility “ to be self aware. Most people aren’t because of false pride. I am so proud of you. You are on your way . Wishing you all the best in 2022 and beyond 🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️.

[@lisacunningham4874]

Thank You Wise Counsel, my Takeaways were 1.Healthy Foundation and Communication will build a Healthy relationship. 2. Don't be afraid to ask about Money Mgmt 3. If He's complacent then that leaves no room for change. 4. Reciprocating is important, I always gave my all in relationships. (Co-Dependency, and People Pleaser). I'm healing from patterns, daddy issues, all the things that took my heart and tried to destroy and tear me down. Thank You for your insight is appreciated as I continue to learn what I don't and won't in a relationship. And dating first, watching for signs and asking plenty of questions??? Thank You Wise 🦉 Counsel 💙, Remain Blessed Lisa C.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm happy this has been helpful to you, be sure to share so that others can receive love and healing 🙏 ❤

[@desiree2299]

Love This 🙏🏽💌👑

[@hey_kudisco_podcast]

Great video! I think point 10 should be ‘Hasn’t done the healing’ or ‘Isn’t willing to do the healing work’.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that!

[@Coachnaimah]

I agree!

[@womenwhodate7643]

Marrying the wrong man 'knowingly' makes my heart break.. like how can a woman do such a thing for herself? Of course this happens, and it might happen a lot, but it's sad how tragic that is in a way. Very good content Stephan, wish you a great day ❤️

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤ 🙂 Thank you I appreciate your feedback!

[@chidinque]

Because of society. The society stil shames a single lady and so any man they meet they try to patch up just to be relevant. Which is sad.

[@tantig5923]

There are many reason women find themselves in a marriage. Even today there are self worth issues that each woman has to deal with. Self worth because of your family. Self worth because of your traditions. Self worth because of your religion. And last but not least Self worth because of society. Now add all these together and feel the pressure that women of any age feels and makes decisions based on some or all of these factors. Peace🇯🇲

[@tantig5923]

@@chidinque Agree!

[@perlitalaguna6622]

Yeah. People do shame us single women. I used to talk to an elder widow. She would always tell me to find a man to take care of me because it becomes harder later in life. And my ex always yelled (during arguments), "for a woman nearing 40, you don't know how to sit tf down and shut your effn mouth. No one will ever marry you" That or some variation of it. Lol. I truly enjoy being single and living a life of solitude and peace. I fill up my days with work and I really do enjoy it. Maybe I'm not meant to marry in this life.

[@Lisafrank6]

I spent 25 years in a bad marriage u r right on target here.people need to watch this before getting married

[@rashonspencer2734]

PRAISES GOD YOU GOT OUT SIS! This took courage and strength! May GOD CONTINUE BLESSING YOU ❣️

[@sophiaf.]

Stephan your saving a lot of lives. Thank you 🙏🏾.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

My pleasure ❤️

[@desireetryingtobeobedient2110]

One of the best presentations on relationship issues that I have every heard, bar none! The message is clear, concise and non-judgemental. I sent this to my daughter and all of my nieces!

[@janedoe1404]

You are absolutely right about magnifying all the bad stuff! Married to the wrong person right now and you are right, I knew he was the wrong person. The reason why I married him, because I thought I could not do better.

[@dafnenoel9825]

I've dated man who has these habits glad I didn't Married none of them. 💯💯💯

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

🙏

[@geminhighpriestess222]

So grateful for you & these videos you create. So much of what we’re told about dating & marriage today is TOXIC. I appreciate you & how you keep it real because I’ve learned so much from you & it’s preventing me from wasting my time in the dating world.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm happy the videos have been helpful to you, don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏

[@Bluegemsjourney]

All that about communication 💔It breaks my heart when all you wanted was to effectively talk but it doesn’t work if the other won’t communicate. Still healing but finding myself and growing. I’m no longer afraid to being alone. If someone isn’t happy with themselves, you cannot make them happy or reciprocate love. It hurts to “let go” when it’s been 5 years of loving someone unconditionally, flaws and all but without communication it will never work. You can’t force someone to grow with you or to effectively communicate and work on a relationship. And if they let you go, you need to do the same. I pray to God everyday ❤️

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Communication is definitely key. It isn't an easy situation but you need to focus on doing what is truly best 🙏

[@seekingenlightenment2026]

Such good, clearly presented advice Stephan. Thank you. You helped me confirm that, after three years of taking full responsibility and hoping things would change, this man is not the one for me! I have no more doubts. Thank you, thank you. The stuff my daddy or mommy never sat down and taught me!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm happy this has been helpful to you and don't forget to share so that others can receive love and healing 🙏

[@moniquebowens800]

Omg you are stating FACTS. I've never been married and what you're saying are definitely big concerns to me at this late stage in my life. You have really confirmed so much. Thank you.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

My pleasure ❤️

[@tashenialove6130]

Thank you Stephan for sharing! These 9 habits are so true! As humans we want to be aware and avoid a pit fall. True enough we may not know everything about a person but you will know more about someone if the relationship is a friendship first and foremost! ❤️🔥💪🏽

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.

[@Natashea]

Nahh too many women want to date potential, accept it where it is or let him go. Simple

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!

[@vczaban7876]

After 1year and 9 months i had to let it go!! It was sad but I knew it would never go any further even though he made it seem that it would! I deserve better! THANK YOU so much Stephan!! I appreciate you more than you know! 🙏🏽🥰

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm happy this has been helpful to you and I pray that you heal all you have been through 🙏

[@vczaban7876]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thank you Stephan, your guidance definitely helped! Plus ya know You pray about it and God does answer. You just have to be willing to listen. It was actually freeing. I was sad that he didn’t allow me the choice to be a “Friend with benefits” he led me to believe it was us as a team. I don’t need anymore “friends”! I want a husband! 😊🥰

[@octaviabraye1654]

You are absolutely correct. Some ppl’s bad behavior get magnified during marriage. The real person is waiting to come out after you say I Do. The one major warning is if the man can not provide for himself, he will not be able to provide for you or a family. His money problems become your money problems. Song of Solomon repeats multiple times not to hurry love. Marriage is beautiful but if you marry the wrong person it can cause you a lifetime of misery and pain. Think about what you really want and don’t settle. Life is too short snd love ❤️ is too important.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️

[@charmainetk]

This is critical information that I should have heard before I got married. Straight facts💯❤

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

🙏

[@lisabierman7279]

Totally agree!! 32 years of 9/9 items. I just want out & finally have some peace!

[@trinigirl7846]

Libra men are very complacent where they are. No matter how hard u try to push them to greater things.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!

[@lemonvate9860]

Oh hell no . Check the full chart of this libra man you are talking about . Pretty sure he has heavy placements of other signs .

[@carolinelaronda4523]

My first husband was a libra - you are correct

[@juliewade8140]

Well, Stephan you dropped some golden nuggets on this one. Been there, done that with a complacent man. It drove me nuts! I totally agree with you on everything in this video. Take heed!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.

[@hikerhobby1204]

Sir, You are so correct! I cannot carry men! I tried a couple of times, ended up very resentful toward them. I could not put a name to what I was feeling. Thank you for for giving my feelings a name, “carry.” God Bless you and yours!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤ 🙂 Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback and may God bless you as well!

[@brick_housedee6711]

Me Carry 🤣🤣🤣

[@annekajordan6952]

This is an EXCELLENT video; I couldn’t agree more. This guidance is top notch & much needed in today’s society 🙏❤️

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤ 🙂 Thank you very much I appreciate that!

[@Jambeauty098280]

"Give with your eyes open". Appreciate this.

[@tammismith8499]

💝

[@TRUTHalwaysREIGNS]

THIS video is EXCELLENT and hits ALL of the MAJOR POINTS that I can think of. I would go as far as to say, if INCONSIDERATION and SELFISHNESS is an issue, there shouldn't even be a relationship!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.

[@TheRelatableMomma]

It's refreshing to hear that there are high valued men out there that don't think cheating is okay. There are other content creators filling men's head with "facts" that men will cheat as much as their options allow and that if a woman wants to be with them, they just have to accept it cuz men can have sex wihtout emotions... and if they're with a high valued man and they think the guy is not sleeping with other women, it's just cuz he doesn't tell you cuz he is! It's heartbreaking.

[@cruzan8183]

The fact that someone who lies and cheats would even be referred to as a high value man is ludicrous. Call these men high income men. Does a man have to be wealthy to be valued by his children. What makes me valuable to my children is that I love them unconditionally. My relationship with them would be ruined if I cheated on their mother. The faithful husbands out here don’t have KZbin channels . We are keeping our heads down and working hard to build our lives and careers .

[@TheRelatableMomma]

@@cruzan8183 Amen, thank you for adding and restoring hope to us women, and reassuring the men out there. Stay blessed!

[@Coachnaimah]

@@cruzan8183 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@elaibesummers906]

Yes Stephan there are people who are content and will not change no matter what you say. That's how they are wired. My ex actually said to me "he is holding me back". I realise I was not accepting him for being him and the fact that he is telling me he is not going to try or willing to change or compromise to meet my needs. I could not talk to him affectively. Stephan you're quite right, I should have kept it moving from day one when I realised his way of communicating was by being humorous and he could not hold a serious conversation with me or with anyone else and he was a liar and I had no peace or trust in him. Great Video Stephan.

[@laOrzy]

Often times while we are in love and deep in the relationship we lose sight lots of things putting on the blinders to many issues. Love your partner but always remain present and conscious to people’s actions etc

[@kellyparadis1039]

Truth

[@mwembenakamba8349]

There is so much wisdom in your teaching. I keep learning every time I listen and watch your videos -Zambia.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Glad to hear that, thank you for your response, and don't forget to share so that others can receive love and healing ❤

[@eb3644]

Yes, I’m living proof that promises before marriage that his addictive behaviors would get better- only got worse. 27 years later (alot of sadness/depression/rejection/no retirement savings) and our situation only got worse-sadly ending in divorce. Men rarely change. It’s challenging enough to change our own selves.

[@julietoneill1268]

Say that again. My ex thought he did nothing never wrong, always right and perfect 🙏 if that's your life I will say, run.. they will never change I was in it for 17 years and two kids I tried everything in my power to make my marriage work since I came from a broken home myself didn't want that for my kids 🤦‍♀️ but Now ladies and gentlemen I choose peace of mind😊 🙏

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm sorry to hear about that, I pray that you heal from all that you have been through, and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️

[@ournewchapter06]

Everything on this list I experienced with the same person… it’s crazy! And I didn’t see any of it until I was in it (married). This video is much appreciated! I know now what to lookout for… this time around. Love, love this video!!!

[@SavySweetie]

I’m so glad you spoke in communication especially. I was with someone who told me communication was wrong and i should change my ways. After communicating the things i wanted in a relationship, asking him exactly what he was looking for. Later on tried to convince me we already talk through foot rubs, and him meditating by himself. I broke things off shortly after, and never regretted it.

[@naturallytajy973]

I’m happy you chose you, just reading your comment I got slightly triggered. I could only imagine what you dealt with, good for you for thriving

[@nicolebarlow1535]

Both have to give 👍🏻. I do believe men give all upfront and become relaxed …. On into marriage and women keep on trying hard as to their nature. It’s a constant effort. So you hit 3 massive points as a married women 24-41 divorced for 3. Complacently - Selfishness - Criticism, Communication and Emotional Abuse HUGE …….BOTH PEOPLE NEED TO SPEAK FROM 🧡. Thank you Stephen your work and effort to help people and relationships is not unnoticed here in Texas!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Glad to hear that, thank you for your response ❤

[@TheAmariieXperience]

Stephan I enjoyed this video from the beginning to the end and I love that quote compatibility is overrated what’s required is unity. It’s so true. Have a blessed day and even better week! ♥️🙏🏽😊

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤ 🙂 Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback and may you have a blessed day and a blessed week as well!

[@TheAmariieXperience]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks You’re welcome. Thank you so much! ❤️🙏🏽

[@llevans1985]

OUCH! I often watch the first 20 seconds of your videos. This one i watched it all. I must detach now! All the signs are there and I was compromising what I seen or heard but now realize I will be back where I came from. Thank you for the lesson. Very, very, very valuable, Sir.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm happy this has been helpful to you and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏

[@MsSmithHSES]

Another great video. I would love for you to unpack boundaries more. How do women set healthy boundaries? What are healthy boundaries for men and women? It is a 2 way street, and I would like to hear your thoughts around this topic. Thanks for keeping me in a reflective and thoughtful state about any future relationships I might have!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Great suggestion, I will add it to my list to get it done!

[@Lienababy01]

And complacency isn’t just in life or finances …. It reflects in a person’s character… it’s okay to want to change but take your time but not wanting to change or evolve what so ever under any circumstances-🤷🏼‍♀️is an issue ❕

[@jeanbutler8508]

I cannot be with someone who has problems managing their money. Stephan is so on point. How is our credit? What vices do we have? is he/she stingy? That there would make me run. Is he or she selfish?

[@angie3467]

Got my Healing Heartbreak journal!! Looking forward to healing and moving on from my broken heart!!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Healing is definitely key and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏

[@angie3467]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks I will♡ thank you!! And thank you for answering your calling. You are a true blessing 🙌

[@carlosverde-datingtips7001]

I agree, marriage is such a big step, it should not be taken lightly, it’s supposed to last a lifetime. Lol I know some people go into it for the wrong reasons, and they’re shocked when it doesn’t work out. Make sure you work on yourself first before you make that big decision… that way you’re able to deal with the ups and downs of being married - because it will come, and you’ll be ready! Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Indeed, it would really help when we embrace working on ourselves first. Thank you for sharing I appreciate that 🙏 ❤

[@carlosverde-datingtips7001]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks No problem. My pleasure!

[@bridgettejohnson4416]

So much truth in this video. Often when these signs of incompatibility are overlooked in the dating stage, these same issues end the marriage. Too many men and women are caught up with having a wedding and not a marriage. Everyone contemplating marriage should do an audit of the relationship, and seek professional counseling from a Pastor or Relationahip/Life coach, it will save you a lot of heartache and money too.

[@MA-yc7pz]

This came right on time one of friends told me her little sister was struggling in her new marriage and when she described to me her little sister husband he acted exactly the same type of habits and character my ex had ....meaning I could have been in the position of her little sister marrying him. P.S He had 8/9 of these

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

🙏

[@weekendnomad5038]

Yet my best friend has cold feet about getting married 😩 that’s fine tho .. never beg for what you want.. give a deadline and move on

[@tracysanchez2139]

Omg! I dodged a bullet!!! Thank goodness! Thanks for the tips

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

My pleasure❤