The Affair of the Poisons • Puppet History

[@bellebourke5758]

"Watcher Entertainment does not approve of the Professor's vaping habit and hopes that you'll keep in mind that he is a nasty little creep whose diet consists of spiders and possibly even dolphin meat." 😂😂

[@KalEL224]

You the real mvp lol

[@michellepiascik917]

So now we know that Ryan wrote the disclaimer

[@deprofundis3293]

Lol! Can we get a time stamp for replay value??

[@Larissawesome]

@@deprofundis3293 14:41 :)

[@wecancreateitall]

Belle thanks sm for reiterating that disclaimer So glad you did, bc lol 😂 it’s funny af!!

[@ElaineMokk]

i hope ryan will atleast get the perfect attendance award.

[@LinhNguyen-kx9jx]

Elaine 💗💗💗💗😊 miss you

[@kylahhood9847]

He deserves it at this point

[@laurio9892]

He probably wouldn’t 😂

[@NoThankUBeQuiet]

They'd give it to the professor

[@doctorerosxcelsior]

Yessss❤👾✨🦋

[@gracelien5656]

“Papa I want a jellybean” was the cutest n saddest shit at the same time 🤣😭

[@SlimeyPirate]

Agreed

[@djbatgirl17]

But then I remember he poops them out 😭

[@StrawberryBats67]

but is he papa or does he want the jelly bean???????? *x-files song*

[@sukuna4396]

😂

[@MDreamerIsBi]

Also disturbing-

[@taylorkichu4683]

We need an episode where the professor is "sick" so we have a shitty substitute. Then have shane as a guest. Then it will be the one time Ryan wins.

[@annehuntress896]

Keith Habersberger would be a great substitute.

[@johannadagny6237]

I genuinely want this as an episode

[@ghostsprobably]

the sub should absolutely be kate

[@Kelly-uw1xr]

I would love it

[@caraf8727]

How is this not getting more likes?! This is a great idea

[@joeybuggz]

i’m always impressed with the amount of fear and emotion you can see in the professor's eyes considering his expression never actually changes

[@compulsiverambler1352]

Probably the Kuleshov effect.

[@thebestpilot7]

@@compulsiverambler1352 nah it was the powerful theatrical enchantment of the genie

[@MlleFeralMinette]

All about the angles ;)

[@Emmysn0w]

The power of voice acting

[@wolfiemuse]

It’s probably a combination of all these things listed in the comments haha

[@EthalaRide]

I love how some Professor/Genie lore was planned and written into one of the question segments, like some sort of mind-blow moment, _but that freaking theory of _*_the professor being a human who just keeps eating magic jellybeans to maintain a puppet form_* was just shot out there in the beginning and now It's near impossible to forget.

[@besthobbit]

The subplot of this show is amazing.

[@cameroncota9844]

"Papa, I want a jellybeeeaaan"

[@sincelery5389]

Also the fact that his diet consists of spiders and dolphin meat because he’s a creep

[@KlaxontheImpailr]

Does the professor eat normal jelly beans and poop out magic ones, or does he eat the same ones over and over until they become magic?

[@insertcreativenamehere7584]

It just hit me that I’m now thinking of Shane and the Professor as different people. I literally forgot that this is Shane’s show

[@kaged1productions]

It's funny, because for about half a second I wondered why Shane had never been a guest...😂

[@hotpinkcrayolas]

What do you mean? They are different people... x

[@geared4war]

Who is this "shame" guy?

[@anthonybenitez3958]

@@geared4war yea I’m just as confused as you

[@eoinplunkett3093]

Every co founder has been on the show, Ryan and Steven, but why hasn’t Shane been a contestant

[@haleyr7937]

I like to think that Ryan is forced to take this course with the Professor so he can get his final credits to graduate from Puppet University and the Professor only has contempt for him

[@katiejane1337]

That scenario hits way to close to home omg 😂

[@anthonybenitez3958]

Or he’s in some form of hell and cursed to be with Shane doing a stupid puppet show for all eternity

[@haleyr7937]

Oh my god I love this version

[@crocsqueen1474]

I like to think that winning a round would mean him graduating, but the professor won't allow it bc then he would leave

[@recoil53]

@@anthonybenitez3958 Ryan's version of being caught in a kharmic cycle.

[@drewa1964]

What people think Puppet History is: A guy messing around with puppets and telling crazy stories about history. What it feels like: A cursed immortal puppet overseeing a game show with hopes of finding his lost family again.

[@Corrupt.p.t]

"Papa I want a jellybean." "The most abominable singing puppet of all!" How will Season 5 be?

[@parkchimchimstolemyheart]

L the g out o I-I😢

[@BeeBee-ho9ic]

My favourite part is always when Ryan and the Professor quietly threaten each other while the guest is off getting their jellybeans

[@bettyreads222]

'Little blue bitch' had me cackling! & the hatred I perceive in the Professor's face even though it doesn't change haha

[@BeeBee-ho9ic]

@@bettyreads222 100% agreed lmao

[@classyhomo682]

I would love if there was a extremely deep backstory to professor

[@Phantom_Hivemind]

Slaughter water is the BEST alternate name for poison I have EVER heard.

[@radhaiyer98]

That or Bye Bye Juice 😂

[@poppy_milkmeltdown429]

AqUa ToFanA

[@trixx9652]

Good name for a metal band too

[@Lucysurridge]

@@poppy_milkmeltdown429 Bailey sarian fan? Haha me to.

[@kl2894]

Wait... Are you me?

[@foxyjambread3826]

If mugs with 'Slaughter Water' printed on them aren't added to the merch store at some point I'm gonna be severely disappointed.

[@kanemary56]

Agreed

[@jasonlong8754]

I'd buy that shit. Mugs, bottles, glasses that say "SLAUGHTER WATER" and a skull and cross bones.

[@jeremiahgabriel5709]

10/10 would buy slaughter water merch

[@t-rexcellentreviews1663]

@@jasonlong8754 with the Bye Bye Brothers on it as well.

[@dorcat2867]

It sounds like a drink you can get at Sonics, they have Ocean Water, why can’t they make Slaughter Water too?

[@moderatelyerika05]

The Professor saying that “he doesn’t know Shane” as if they’re not flatmates 🙄

[@CindyRubyCutie]

Oh my god, they were flatmates...

[@Reggie_la]

And they were roommates

[@makemyearfquake]

Ikr

[@PuppyLove2468]

@@Reggie_la Oh my god, they were roommates.

[@alanna6034]

@@CindyRubyCutie oh my god they were flatmates

[@joanne01jt]

Slowed down to read the super fast disclaimer: "Watcher entertainment does not approve of the professor's vaping habits and hopes that you'll keep in mind that he is a nasty little creep whose diet consists of spiders and possibly even dolphin meat" I'm dead.

[@NoNo-fi3tc]

So are the spiders and dolphins lol

[@deprofundis3293]

Lol! Can we get a time stamp for replay value??

[@reemahmed6935]

@@deprofundis3293 it's at about 14:42

[@reemahmed6935]

God, the sound of slowed down laughter in the background is giving me chills lmaoo

[@CalvinKool-Aid]

I know the spiders but when was it suggested he ate dolphin?

[@Bardic_Knowledge]

Fun fact: King's Mistress was an official position in the French court for some time. Reportedly, many King's Mistresses and Queens actually got along well. One of these King's Mistresses was Madame de Pompadour.

[@jenniferm7695]

Fun fact she was also shacking up with the 11rh doctor

[@astridhannestad8323]

Kings of other countries started having official mistresses, because the french court was a serious trendsetter. One story is that a king appointed a mistress, showered her with lavish gifts, and proceeded to never touch her because he was fiercely devoted to his queen

[@vocalvortexstudios2058]

@@astridhannestad8323 sounds like a sweet gig

[@amberparks-newlove6378]

I'm not entirely surprised the Queen and the Mistresses got along well. Marriages weren't usually about love and more about power moves. Really Mistresses could relate more than anyone else

[@emilyblack7342]

And fun fact about Madame de Pompadour: She was stupid powerful for a woman in politics at the time. Some have said that she was practically a prime minister and was in charge of the King’s schedule. Just to emphasize that, she decided who got to see the head of state and who did not, along with deciding who to promote and who to demote in the government.

[@ElaineMokk]

OMG NOOOOOO "PAPA I WANT A JELLYBEAN!" PROFESSOR'S FLASHBACK FACEEEE. iwanna hug him T_T

[@thyauthor4749]

timestamp?

[@bluechupathingy]

@@thyauthor4749 7:35

[@aldenchavez3750]

I was gonna comment the same!

[@uwuzi]

i wonder if the professor is papa or the voice who wanted the jellybean

[@satarupagingerkolay]

@@uwuzi That made it so much darker. Now I want a whole story about this and that too the sound of the one who wanted a jellybean sounds like the crabs, Mari and Gina from the Hotdaga.

[@heatherkreucher9249]

I love how he totally trusted the jelly beans after a WHOLE SHOW about poisoning....

[@deaddumplings5565]

😳

[@asdjklsadj]

They only turn you into a puppet and it *possibly* wares off

[@crablessinbaltimore]

he learned from the best: "i'll die for a jelly bean" - ryan bergara, ep 1

[@MrJjz123]

can we appreciate how Shane syncs his laughs with the professor's mouth movements

[@tdsims1963]

I've watched how closely he times the movements to the dialogue. He's quite talented.

[@richardtherichard26]

It’s called puppeteering and is kind of the entire point of a puppet show…

[@vocalvortexstudios2058]

@@richardtherichard26 i think they mean that they appreciate he takes the time to puppeteer spur-of-the-moment, sudden unexpected laughter

[@marsvilla7128]

the professor deserves a raise for also having the job of making me smile each week

[@clairespades4002]

my weekly serotonin :)

[@communist_oranges]

Best part of my week ☺

[@sophiedetorie2384]

he actually doesn’t get payed he’s a slave so

[@mothmanisthebest7404]

This show is not the Professor’s job, it was a cursed placed on the Professor by the Genie.

[@thebestone8872]

At least 10% more jellybeans

[@Whymust898]

last season professor backstory: he was cursed by a genie! how whimsical! this season professor backstory: he lost his family horribly somehow and he represses the memory but maintains a lingering connection to them through the jellybeans

[@00muinamir]

This tracks with the Professor being a Timelord.

[@oliviagriffith3626]

The Professor lore continues to get more and more in-depth, and I'm living for it.

[@hayliew611]

Maybe the son got turned into a puppet and died

[@oliviagriffith3626]

@@hayliew611 My personal (wildly specific) headcanon is that the Professor and his son were an archaeology duo and the Professor's boy "stole" a genie's treasured jellybeans. Now he's being held captive by said genie in one of the many time-periods the Professor has to visit (hence where he gets all this knowledge for the show) to try and rescue him. Of course, genies are wily little fuckers, so that's obviously easier said than done.

[@dawakat08]

Professor McNasty's life is so full of mystery still ugh... lol

[@CaliVMK]

The idea that the Professor is just a human who keeps eating jellybeans is the in my personal opinion the most shocking reveal of the series yet.

[@ontxtteredwxngs]

fr and it happened in the first few minutes of the episode, i'm shooketh

[@dori_casper]

it weirdly makes me uncomfortable

[@jaz1564]

I love seeing Garrick on this show he is such a chill and smiley dude

[@erikacoffey4872]

Same!!! He’s really amazing to listen to in guilty pleasures (a podcast) if you, like me, need more Garrick in your life

[@leaharmbruster6047]

Him and Kate are a must return on this show!

[@ONKVP]

Ryan clearly enjoys being around him too

[@yellowcard360]

Yeah! Is it wrong to say I like the shape of his upper lip?

[@erikacoffey4872]

@@yellowcard360 LOL. He is a very handsome man all around, I find!

[@keelyneumann3814]

"Watcher Entertainment does not approve of the professors vaping habit and hopes that you'll keep in mind that he is a nasty little creep whose diet consists of spiders and possibly even dolphin meat." I love it! 😂

[@SleepIntoTheDiamondLife]

not all heroes wear capes!

[@emcn8939]

@@94DeathAngel definitely

[@virtualboyscout4416]

that's ok dolphins r kinda evil

[@hiphopbang5730]

Omg 😂😂😂😂

[@irnaebrehlam1140]

I was looking for this comment

[@darialappi5762]

I was kinda hoping they'd talk about Guilia Tofana. She murdered at least six hundred men (who were abusive towards their wives) between 1633 to 1651 with her own poison called Aqua Tofana. (I did a 15-page report on her and other female serial killers so I wanna see more videos on her!)

[@user-vs6uh7gc6u]

that is a stellar name to use 🤣

[@schm3schma901]

I was disappointed, too ngl

[@amelieg246]

She was a good murderer

[@marmarmar615]

I personally love the lore that the professor is just a human who keeps eating magic jelly beans so that he can stay a puppet

[@Fundipped13]

I'm also concerned what his human form would look like?! 🤣

[@jasperj.d.g.4147]

@@Fundipped13 he's ancient and Blue, I doubt he would look very good

[@Fundipped13]

@@jasperj.d.g.4147 I'd be horrified for sure, but I also know the internet has rules... Can't wait for the fanart 😂

[@jasperj.d.g.4147]

@@Fundipped13 eh, after BU the monster fuckers make up a big part of the watcher viewers. He'll get the rule treatment for sure.

[@whychance9180]

Well apparently he is related to the blue man group

[@11jokerchen11]

"Wait, Bastille is actually a word besides being a shitty band?" I say this with all the love I have in my heart: Ryan is a real life himbo and it's currently the biggest source of joy in my life

[@sharmbanu9862]

i stand by this wholeheartedly. i never thought hearing someone call ryan a himbo would bring me so much joy

[@emilybarclay8831]

He’s like a small himbo, a himbette if you will. A himbito

[@libbywilliams9969]

This is why he never wins

[@sharmbanu9862]

@@emilybarclay8831 HIMBETTE 😭😭😭😭😭

[@j.pnewcomer1069]

I think Ryan's too much of a...brat to be a himbo

[@quinnkelly8601]

I love how Shane just seems have gotten really into puppeteering and making puppets and everyone just went with it no questions asked

[@ellisbuker6191]

He actually mentioned in an episode of unsolved that he loves puppets, before this show even started, so I assume his friends just know that it’s one of his interests anyway!

[@ishouldprobablybeasleeprn495]

Hot Take: Ryan is the time traveling genie reincarnated who is torturing the professor by pissing him off in his college courses

[@justarandomchaneldontmindm9098]

I'm on board with this take 😂 this class is the professor's personal hell. He is doomed to teach ungrateful students for all eternity

[@veestallion420]

Hold on you’re onto something

[@kiwigaming09]

maybe the professor knows it and thats why he makes ryan lose all the time

[@dddakotarose]

I feel like Garrick offhandedly mentioned to Shane that he had a puppet of himself and Shane went, "you son of a bitch, you've done it! your puppet must be featured!!" which is why no one else has been turned into a puppet by the jelly beans simply because they don't have their own puppets and Shane wouldn't want to make them.

[@MovieEnvy]

The other jelly beans obvi were not magical, that’s the only reason!

[@morganeb_5300]

the professor says "gaudin de sainte croix" like the french uncle that smokes 2 packs a day, has never had a meal without meat and will make the cheese go down with 3 glasses of cheap red wine. it's both terrifying yet impressive.

[@tdsims1963]

What a description! Love it!!

[@redandpurple317]

You just described my dad

[@acidstrawberries7667]

I’ll never get tired of the professor referring to himself as beloved lmao

[@endymionredacted1304]

Professor my beloved

[@ONKVP]

It's true tho

[@wanna_be_goth1030]

Am I the only one who really wants know the lore behind the professor? repressed family memories, encounters with genies and other things I really know how he got here and how his family is doing

[@siiri8902]

All of this lore that's being teased is for sure gonna take several seasons to unfold and I'm very excited to see it!

[@Ash-ru6bt]

I think the reason the professor doesn’t let Ryan win is because he’s scared he may be turned into a puppet for eternity like him

[@Lunch_Meat]

@@Ash-ru6bt I think Ryan is the genie

[@rafansyed8420]

FILM THEORY WHERE YOU AT

[@deathscore1548]

Bro get MatPat on this

[@justdecaffeinated]

garrick: i'm gonna check all of my food from now on also garrick: eats the jelly beans as soon as he got them

[@sabrinaspurzem1672]

Conclusion: He's not really effective at it but somehow hasn't died yet. Must be the good will of the people. Certainly not his poison probing abilities XD

[@ScottDavid7]

"Wait bastille is a real thing? not just the name of a shitty band?" oh so we're choosing violence are we

[@leviathxns]

I was personally attacked by ryan's bad opinion

[@lize-marigrobler161]

@@leviathxns dude same

[@ledoggo9797]

@@leviathxns Me too

[@ScottDavid7]

@@leviathxns facts

[@Shadowulf99]

Ryan, maybe your bad takes on such a great band are why the Professor won't let you win.

[@blue_champignon5738]

Ryan never winning is just the professor protecting him from cursed jelly beans

[@hidden-behind-wisteria2701]

I saw someone comment that since the winner is always replaced, maybe the professor keeps making Ryan lose just so he'll keep coming back

[@VieSit]

@@hidden-behind-wisteria2701 Sounds like the beginning of an angsty wattpad one-shot LOL :')

[@CrazeeAdam]

lol. It was a tie too this time. It was 4 to 4. =/ lol

[@mirrandalynn484]

I NEED more of the Professor’s tragic backstory. Was that him as a child? Was it his son? His Nephew? His grandson?

[@alexlee3261]

I thought it was his son. But now I'm thinking it was him as a child 😱 I need more Professor lore!!

[@kaigaron9566]

Class: why do you know so many random facts Me: *sweats in puppet history*

[@Phantom_Hivemind]

Me, but change "puppet history" into "internet", and we good

[@SnakeEnthusiast]

Dude, the other day my teacher brought up the Donner Party and everyone was wondering why I knew so much about this cannibalism-caravan. Saying “oh, I learned it from a blue puppet with a satchel full of jelly beans” is a tad odd.

[@Phantom_Hivemind]

@@SnakeEnthusiast mood. I wonder how many people will think I'm weird when it comes time to talk about history. Everyone will ask, "why do you know about a golden stool?" "Why do you know about a bunch of people who ate each other?" "How do you know about a French royal member basically playing russian roulette with poison on sick people?"

[@theod6267]

the "papa! I want a jellybean!" moment had me dying

[@an_earth_angel]

Is that what he said?? Poor Professor!

[@sunsun5005]

you weren’t the only one dying

[@backwardglances]

I must know more. Was it the professor? Was it a lost child of his? Who knows...

[@theod6267]

@@backwardglances we need more puppet lore

[@aubreyjordan8308]

It’s just so funny to me to imagine Shane squishing himself underneath this makeshift stage and screaming in character 😂

[@dori_casper]

he actually sits in front of it

[@KlaxontheImpailr]

@@dori_casper actually he's hovering above it.

[@virgiltheghost]

“The poisoned clothes plan never got carried out” *stares in EXTREMELY popular use of arsenic dye in clothing of the later centuries*

[@vsratoslava]

And wallpaper:)

[@liriodendronlasianthus]

Deadly emerald gowns lol

[@ViVi-ev3rx]

ahh the reason we think of the color green when it comes to sickness

[@gracephillips761]

I think he meant never got carried out in that particular instance, not in history in general

[@EnbyAxolotlOfficial]

Fun fact: The professor isn't Shane when he eats a bean, Shane Madej is actuay one of the Professors mistresses

[@whychance9180]

😂😂😂

[@an_earth_angel]

I am here for this interpretation

[@rekk1215]

well a puppet is just a extra fluffy sock

[@gurtalurt]

i'm so here for the bisexual professor

[@EnbyAxolotlOfficial]

@@gurtalurt 👀

[@ArcherOwl]

After the season 4 finale, I thought it would be fun to go back through the other videos and find out the real scores in each to see if Ryan actually won any. This will be focused on the points won during the questions only, not the extra points the professor gives out willy-nilly. Actual Score: Ryan had 4 points and Garrick had 2. Another win for Ryan, he's been winning a lot of these latest ones.

[@holyshard530]

Sooo..does this prove that the system is rigged against him?

[@LivingMyLife22]

🫘

[@matrixdefector4344]

Sorry I think it's just so cute to imagine Shane playing the professor and putting on a puppet show for his friends. A history puppet show for adults. It's very cute.

[@namemycactus]

I was just thinking the same thing!!

[@char_shine]

This comment really hit me as I watched ryan and garrick giggle as shane made the professor rip a fat cloud

[@danny6801]

Why did nobody stop to appreciate the Professor's P play? "People peddling poisons and potions to the Parisienne public"? That deserves a chef's kiss.

[@boobailey4509]

can we not call it p play 😂

[@squiishiie]

pp play 🥵

[@LovelyIKnowx]

I literally paused it and commented to my dad that it was some awesome alliteration

[@Tazzie1312]

Please never say p play again

[@MovieEnvy]

P play sounds like something the Professor does in his private time.

[@lexiarie6545]

Is nobody going to mention how Ryan didn't know Bastille was a real thing despite it being one of France's biggest national holidays

[@JackHammer503]

What we've learned about the Professor this episode: 1) For sure has a bevy of mistresses (mistressi?) 2) Has likely poisoned at least one member of his family 3) Was possibly a former human but can't get enough of those sweet, sweet cursed puppet-jellybeans 4) Vapes

[@riverseverywhere]

and possibly eats dolphin meat

[@Okbuddypal]

And eats spiders and dolphin meat

[@AmethystEyes]

Unofficial slogan for the show: “Ryan thanks for tryin’!”

[@VivaLaGolf42]

We need some Tryin’ Ryan merch

[@EienNiKenJa]

Between the Professor taking a vape break, and the Beastie Boys inspired song at the end, this is my favorite episode so far.

[@natkatj]

if the professor has mistresses, then they're either humans or other puppets, and frankly i don't know which one is worse

[@kf10147]

well we know one human who seems interested… shane better keep Sara away from that nasty blue creature

[@frankensteinlives]

You misspelled better

[@Reggie_la]

Anatomically correct dolls and medical props

[@Squirreltasticqueen]

There's some d n d inspired muppet show going on with a big tiddy puppet so it works

[@MissBee13]

Both.

[@CHESShireCat]

I like how at the beginning of this show Ryan tried to argue with Shane but now he just has specific beef with the Professor.

[@Tazzie1312]

Beef boy's got beef

[@TheMewtata]

I’m sure no one was ever wrongly convicted in this investigation. I’m sure everyone was super truthful, and all of the confessions extracted by torture were totally legit.

[@caitlinb35]

yeah it's giving european witch trials vibes... forced confessions, false accusations and panic through brutal torture

[@LittleRedWhine]

Yeah, I wish he acknowledged that. The king’s mistress was also very obviously being targeted here in a character assassination.

[@SetFireGirl]

the resentment in Ryan's eyes when he catches himself laughing at one of the Professor's jokes tho

[@ChernaOvce]

"If you have a minor beef with someone consider maybe going out for hot dogs and talking it out. Don't poison." I wonder if this is a callback to those airport hot dogs that gave Shane food poisoning....

[@an_earth_angel]

Watcher secretly supports poisonings, DUN DUN DUUUUN

[@sunsun5005]

Deep cut

[@gillyweedniharry]

Nah, it's probably just a throwback to the hotdogga saga

[@johanvajse8410]

Ryan & Shane also went for hot dogs in Tourist Trapped plus Shane has mentioned his love for the 4th of July when he could eat a lot of hot dogs

[@morganrichardson8859]

Shane is such a talented puppeteer. Season 3 and I'm still not over it. He has so many skills!

[@Victoria_Fama]

I’m jealous

[@kristineh8309]

I think we need to take a moment to appreciate that Shane got “Sierra Mist” and “blinker” into a song.

[@lycanthology]

Everyone talking about potential band names as if the most appropriate one for this whole episode isn’t My Chemical Romance

[@valedeloro]

HAHAHAHAHAHA

[@makemyearfquake]

lmao

[@femininomenon1133]

WAIT THAT IS SO PERFECT

[@alesiat1320]

That's beautiful

[@johanvajse8410]

or the band Poison might be a bit of a stretch though

[@thatcuriousmiss]

It's so amazing that on the exact same month(July, 1659) Giulia Tofana, creator of the poison of Aqua Tofana, too, was executed in Italy for helping noble women poison their husbands to get out of abusive marriages (presumably).

[@noof5186]

does ryan not remember talking about the bastille during the world's most expensive necklace episode? maybe if he paid more attention in class he'd finally be crowned history master...

[@justalittleturtle5600]

I said something very similar when he didn’t remember the Bastille....

[@ellarasei4404]

That episode was over a year ago so I don't blame him for forgetting

[@blueblank8287]

The Professor, With Barely Concealed Judgement: It’s a nOTORIOUS PRISON

[@averylynas2465]

i’m supposed to be writing a research paper in biology right now but i can’t miss this

[@DJLTT]

We all must stop what we're doing to watch this the moment it comes out

[@luciigooseyy]

same, im literally in class right now but like. puppet history. so,,

[@EmilyHenthorn]

Me sitting here with an actual history lecture to listen to 😅

[@luciigooseyy]

m o o d

[@maddyyhitch]

girl I’m supposed to be writing a history paper too but here we are

[@jimmorrisonsbelt2337]

The 'Papa, I want a jellybean' with the Professor having a Bruce Wayne-level PTSD flashback freakin killed me 😂😭

[@jackroberts2704]

The Professor: "I don't know who this Shane guy is, but he sounds handsome."

[@persona8439]

Its like batman from the lego movies.

[@mxrmlt]

we need an online university episode where the professor's computer gets a virus, everything goes haywire, and ryan finally wins fairly

[@N0noy1989]

Ryan did win one fair and square. But the Professor chose not to announce winners that episode.

[@unknowncreature-0069]

0:58 lol the professor isn't actually being controlled by anybody, shane just eats a jellybean and turns into the professor before they start filming

[@aviezer_who_drinks_seltzer371]

I accept this headcanon

[@anxiousemu]

Can I just say, Garrick is so damn handsome ;-;

[@mirhaik640]

Time to start a fanclub

[@bluebearii4477]

@@mirhaik640 GARRICK FAN CLUB!!! VERY HANDSOME MAN

[@Bisexualdragon4042]

He's staring in a romance tv show and has a podcast called "Guilty pleasures" pretty sure he has more work out there right now.

[@Bisexualdragon4042]

@@A_T216 Sadly it hasn't aired yet. 🥺 They got the pilot approved tho so that's a win so far

[@flowerfleur8105]

@@Bisexualdragon4042 I hope the best for him, he's one of those people who you can tell are intelligent and nice.

[@jabtrack123]

“Marie” - the name of every French woman during this time

[@raerohan4241]

Or Louise

[@Rhysdux]

And some French men as well! For example, Lafayette's full name was Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de La Fayette.

[@shawnabasallo7515]

Every time the song portion begins I am blown away by how talented Shane is

[@char5180]

I think my favorite part of these besides the songs is when the guest leaves to get their prize and Ryan and the Professor just trash talk and threaten each other 😂

[@laurenhartsell5358]

Maybe instead of the jellybeans keeping the professor as a puppet, the genie cursed him to his current form and to trick others to gradually join his puppet army by eating the jellybean rewards from these videos. Since Ryan never wins, he could also be the genie overseeing the whole process.

[@lukestoff5224]

Maybe the professor likes Ryan and is protecting him.

[@laurenhartsell5358]

@@lukestoff5224 it would explain why he always hands out the extra beans for the guests and why Ryan gets all the rotten beans

[@kateancharn4202]

I love this.... But I think we did see a glimpse of the genie in the Donner Party Ep, and it was.... definitely Shane. Which could spiral into a whole other theory or be changed, but. It's clear that Shane is NOT the professor in the Meta Story, but he could certainly play a role, and there is definitely an important reason why Ryan never wins.

[@christabelle__]

The Professor has also said he poops jelly beans, and guests are eating his poop....so is he eating his own bean poo?!

[@Squirreltasticqueen]

@@christabelle__ if all he eats is jelly beans and he "poops" jellybeans is it really poop

[@EloiseRaeCullen]

"And now, to strangle you to death, bring out *The Dandy!* " I'm deceased now. That line ended me faster than any poison. I'm gone. Goodbye. 🤣

[@Vic_the_owl92]

The empty eyes of the Professor as he said "I don't know." Deep inside he knew what could have happened to his family but he can only remember fire.

[@franciscoflores5111]

Is no one gonna talk about “To-do list: Rawdog the big guy?”

[@Ali-mv3jc]

@TK Wallace honestly I'm surprised she didn't have more kids!

[@PoochieCollins]

@TK Wallace : she was pretty smart; it's too bad her intelligence was used on being a psychopath.

[@AkumakoCross]

Given that Louis forbade their children from mourning Madame de Montespan, I don't think he was super stoked on the whole "ladyfriend trying to poison him" thing.

[@allhailesther]

the professor is keeping all these mistresses and i’m not one of them ? a story of betrayal indeed

[@Reggie_la]

I know right!? Where do I send in my resume?

[@shen-qf9mc]

we can see that garrick, despite turning into a puppet, was clearly still modeled after his human body. if the professor is actually turning into a puppet by repeatedly consuming jellybeans, this implies that his true form is a hyper realistic giant blue hairy monster, as you do.

[@susannachi2002]

So, cookie monster

[@sarahafton290]

it could also be the more times you’re turned into a puppet the less realistic the puppet is.

[@missybarbour6885]

Now I want him to be taken off his jellies and turn back into blue-bacca

[@fluffyfluble429]

He is the genie 🧞‍♂️

[@samanthageraldine7546]

@@fluffyfluble429 holy shit!

[@brooke6658]

Honestly this story would make a bomb Netflix show.

[@JoeyLavarias]

"Papa, I want a jelly bean!" - the sentence that will haunt my dreams for an indefinite amount of time.

[@3StarLogo]

I criiiied 🤣

[@TerrificGiggles]

"Are you just a human that keeps eating jelly beans?" WAIT, LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS PROFESSOR LORE--

[@whoahdude9742]

I love a professor lore moment

[@2gxssedyt294]

"Papa I want a jelly bean" that voice had me dying of laughter

[@aishwaryanayak4040]

How did the professor just casually say ' I'm a freak back here?' What an icon🙌

[@Reggie_la]

He is Professor McNasty for a reason

[@aishwaryanayak4040]

@@Reggie_la 😂😂😂

[@duckwifboots]

The chemistry between the professor, ryan, and garrick is awesome

[@greenapple9477]

Death Chemist sounds like a RPG class, and Affair of the Poisons a title. Slaughter Water sounds like a skill or attack.

[@lunettasuziejewel2080]

Blastoise used SLAUGHTER WATER. It's SUPER EFFECTIVE.

[@partlyironic]

The gaps in Ryan’s otherwise excellent knowledge are SO fascinating to me.

[@hypotheticalforest]

Remember when he thought hair grew through the skull 😂

[@raisa1918]

@@hypotheticalforest HE WHAT

[@hypotheticalforest]

@Raisa I think it was in the Edgar Allen Poe true crime episode! but yes. He really thought that 😂

[@raisa1918]

@@hypotheticalforest oh my God, he really is a himbo

[@shawnasideas]

@@hypotheticalforest that was SUCH a great moment. Shane was like “NOPE!”

[@jeannareadsbooks8475]

History fact! The band Bastille is so named bc the lead singer, Dan Smith's birthday falls on Bastille Day, the french equivalent of Independence Day because it was the day the french people stormed the famous prison and a significant day in the french revolution

[@treehousekohtao]

Surprised that professor wasnt more mad about lack of history knowledge...rotten jellybean for Ryan!

[@arocknrolldream]

“I can’t keep track of all these names” and then literally every woman in this story is named Marie

[@salsita_verde]

It’s weird how there was a bear question, and the professor didn’t mention Ryan’s irrational fear to bears

[@msia7201]

He did, though. 21:30 "Ryan, can you confirm to me your address is still-" Meaning he intends to release bears in Ryan's place.

[@TheNocturnalOracle]

"Too dark. Here's a puppy." Thank you professor

[@SquidandCatAdventures]

This is the first Puppet History video that I've watched, and I'm loving the idea that the puppet Professor teaches with his own puppets. Also, saw the video with Steven making his "slaughter water" cocktail before seeing this one, and it's just as satisfying getting the reference in reverse.

[@Nowgivemeyourfries]

Me exactly too!!!!! I just watched the TMS yesterday and now I’m watching this! This show is so funny, Shane is so talented.

[@rheanathan4189]

I love the C-Dogs joke every time, please never stop

[@jonniemayhem]

ALSO MY FAVE

[@jjcoola998]

Same

[@demi_lynnx]

Title: “The Affair of the Poisons” My brain : ✨A Q U A T O F A N A✨

[@burpydude8811]

Shana sha shana sha shana sha sha shana shaaa

[@JustiredBermzzzz]

I actually thought the video is about the ✨aqua tofana✨

[@MissSimone02]

THAT'S LITERALLY ALL I COULD THINK OF TOO!!!

[@thaisfranca4394]

Yeeeeeees

[@oliviagriffith3626]

Haha, here are the Bailey Sarian fans I was looking for!! We need the Professor to do an episode on ~A Q U A T O F A N A~ for sure!

[@annmarietorres8578]

"C-can I have a point? ... ... ... "No." I literally cried laughing.

[@snazyzazzles]

“Peddling potions and poisons to the Parisian public” Stephen Sondheim is quaking

[@kiiiwiiibird]

I think it’s *peddling

[@recoil53]

@@kiiiwiiibird It is.

[@snazyzazzles]

@@kiiiwiiibird lol thanks! Fixed it

[@vanillatwilight82]

Lin Manuel Miranda is WORRIED

[@emily-ly4te]

The Professor: [pointing at Shane] I've never met this man in my life

[@greatvalue_ethelcain]

“He could be walking down the street...”

[@choochoopicklepie]

I understood that reference

[@anemxia9393]

@@greatvalue_ethelcain “I wouldn’t know a thing...”

[@gempizza6425]

So um...i'm gonna need an album of all the songs that are performed at the end of these puppet history episodes

[@queertyrant7179]

I hope that when June rolls around, there will be some historical pride episodes, yknow? Lots of lovely history that you don’t hear much about

[@hydrogen3266]

My first thought is to definitely do one about the public universal friend (who is now looked at as an early example of a non-binary person) or something oscar Wilde related because I feel like his life was kinda crazy. But I totally agree

[@SarahWolverine]

I want to raise one of the many gay, bi & lesbian people of the Harlem Renaissance! The You're Dead To Me Podcasts about some of them were wild already, now imagine what Shane would do with that!

[@unclewiley1986]

@@hydrogen3266 Even his last words were iconic “This wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. Either it goes or I do.”

[@HS-lo8ex]

Didn't the professor mention the Bastille prison in a Season 1 episode? No wonder Ryan keeps losing

[@kamillelang3170]

Omg at the second Ryan asked the professor if he had a family, it immediately cut to a depressed medicine ad that starts with “I thought I was in control of my depression”. Not a bad response.

[@aviezer_who_drinks_seltzer371]

No 😭😭😭😭

[@cryptidnit3]

Omgggg this episode is already ON FIRE! All the band names, “papa I want a jelly bean”, the cartoon villainy of all the poison schemes. C’est magnifique!

[@tdsims1963]

And the historical story is TRUE. Madame de Montspan was quite the character. She more or less FORCED Louis XIV into the relationship (he did fall madly in love with her, though, after he discovered that she was a TIGRESS in the sack) and kept him there for decades. She was beautiful, smart, funny, a total bitch, quite amoral at the beginning of their affair but pious and repenting towards the end of her extravagant life.

[@joeybaity6911]

Strangled by the Dandy was a great debut album from Slaughter Water.

[@satarupagingerkolay]

Lead Single: Death Chemist.

[@VeegiDawn]

Do you every just look at the professors legs and think, 'Huh ... yeah, no ... he's got no pants'? It never fails to shock me 😂

[@tairneanaich]

Wee man is donald ducking it

[@jaz1564]

so now it is a proven fact that the professor does the nasty and Ryan wasn't lying about the trailer accident in the Q&A omg

[@christabelle__]

The Professor has talked about how 'his people' have sex before, don't recall the episode though.

[@dustinb8781]

@@christabelle__ I think it was the last episode with Garrick. He said dirty talk when he meant to say trash talk

[@espressoghoulette]

which Q&A? o.o