The All Guardsmen Party: Good Soldiers, Bad Educators (part 1)

[@vis532]

"well...except for the PDF. They were fine with being guardsmen, bless their little olive drab hearts." Best quote

[@ThePalatineHill]

Dude, The All Psyker Party sounds like a hilarious spin off of this

[@Schinak]

it would be far shorter. That's a lo tof perils of the warp chances in one group;

[@TheReaver1234]

@@Schinak if they hold back a little and dont always try to GO FOR BROKE then its actually not to hard to play psyker and not roll alot of perils.

[@hiromitsumoonblossom8682]

no god please no! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

[@greenEntertainer.]

Tempted to run one but I don't have enough friends interested in 40k or writing skills equivalent to Shoggy.

[@gatordragon6140]

God no, one psyker is bad enough with perils of the warp but a whole team of them? Yeah they wouldnt have survived character creation

[@drakeford4860]

*Solutions:* 1. Requisition a supply of cherry bombs, firecrackers, and regulation lazguns. 2. Confiscate all weapons, both ranged and melee. Suspend all weapon training until basic physical standards are met. 3. Authorize Twitch to rig up some _explosive_ alarm clocks with the aforementioned cherry bombs and firecrackers. 4. After basic physical standards are met, resume ranged weapon training with the aforementioned regulation lazguns, and melee training with practice weapons. 5. Place Sarge in charge of _basic_ melee combat training. Refer notably adept students to Cutter. 6. Throw the two would-be commissars into "advanced melee training" with Cutter (Read: Inform Cutter that he is to spar with both men at least once a day- and to only hold back enough to avoid trainee expiration). Continue until fear and/or respect is instilled. It may be advisable to have Doc on standby. 7. Task Twitch with oversight of criminal attendance. Perimeter alarms are allowed, but use of ordinance is to be discouraged (though not forbidden). Announce this assignment publicly. 8. Take active part in both cooperative and competitive exercises- acting as commanding officers and opposing forces respectively. Note semi-capable leadership candidates and groom them to take over said positions. 9. Reschedule lecture to coincide with evening mess. They can't heckle if they're too busy stuffing themselves. May have the secondary benefit of improving comradery. Everyone is more amicable around a meal table- even if that table is loaded with military rations. I knew there was a reason I got a degree in education.

[@yasminafarih3681]

Hope you don't mind if I take notes

[@austingibbs7165]

Where you ever in the military? Lol

[@Snowy123]

Drake Ford you’re like one of the trainees in the class room questioning sarge tactics and decisions

[@RAFMnBgaming]

@@Snowy123 That's not a good thing. Never question the chain of command when the chain of command is listening.

[@nvfury13]

Personally, I’d start mentioning certain “impious attitudes and sayings” coming from the Cadet Commisars around the Priests, then set up a situation where they are teamed with them far from any oversight.

[@rhyneredpanda5443]

"Nubby looked like Nubby" beautiful

[@discipleoftzeentch8384]

I have to love the 0 psycher deal

[@chesterstevens8870]

I love how the series isn't framed as a story off of an imageboard, and as an actual audio book. It makes for much easier listening than the usual method of automated voicetech. Excellent work, I'm enjoying this series immensely.

[@CommissarMitch]

Agreed. I only learned after listening to this entire thing where to find the origonal. Highly prefer this voiceover.

[@tomjack1000000]

one of the things I love about the speech about being "proper inquisition agents" is that they essentially are that anyway and become that bad ass anyway. mostly out of cowardice and smarts (still killed a space marine though)

[@REDandBLUEandORANGE]

MrTopHatMan They alahu Akbared it

[@redcell9636]

@@REDandBLUEandORANGE alahua *Emperor*

[@gatordragon6140]

Hey, they are the best of inquisitors, they knew from the start that the best way to deal with a problem is glass it

[@ianwarhover5390]

Ok training lesson 1 get to your rooms without getting blown to pieces by twitch

[@spacebear4742]

it is an easy pass-fail.

[@nvfury13]

Advanced course right off the bat. Of course anyone that made it would be either paranoid, twitchy, tough or lucky enough to make a hell of an Inquisitorial Agent.

[@clarkbaldwin6193]

bear d,,no 0/,for,•

[@clarkbaldwin6193]

@@nvfury13 zgvc

[@singletona082]

The 'Everyone is an idiot' meeting the recruits made me internally cringe in terror. All those morons with zero trigger discipline or even the basic range discipline of 'DO NOT POINT WEAPON AT ANYONE YOU DO NOT WANT TO MURDER.' Just... so much twitching and wanting to punch people..... Which I suppose was the intended effect!

[@szylaj]

where do tyranids come from: MEN, YOU KNOW BEES AND BUTTERFILES? THAT BUT BIGGER MORE OF IT AND MANNY TIMES MORE DEADLY! CLASS DISSMISSED!

[@griffincrump5077]

After the first look at them I’d confiscate their weapons, order a shipment of lasguns and say “tough luck, you get flashlights”

[@gatordragon6140]

Nah strtt off with literal laser pointers bc outside of the commissars (barely, given they are more used to shooting allies) and pdf troopers i wouldn't trust anyone in the group with a pdf autogun much less a lasguns

[@daytoncasper2400]

Anyone else kinda wanna hear the story about how those criminals gained a stay of execution from the inquisition, the organization that would gladly purge a planet if it smells kinda heretical

[@davankrueger1725]

Don't exaggerate

[@davankrueger1725]

Most of the Inquisition needs a very good reason to exterminatus a local Purge also needs a good reason it's just the qualifications are lower as the cost is lower

[@marcospatricio8283]

Criminals leave behind a purposefully easy to follow trail and methods for contact. Expect for contact to happen. Proceeds to say the following: "Oi, mate, i did steal yer stuff, as i didn't know it was fucking cursed. Like, literally fucking cursed. I'll gladly give it back if you garantee we won't be killed. And by "gladly", i mean it. I don't even want no ransom or shit, i just want it off of my hair. No, i didn't touch it. Some bloke of ours read it and we offed him, poor bastard... Anyway, where can I leave your shit behind so you can pick it up?" Inquisitor recognizes common sense and recruits the team.

[@christopherwest4024]

This should be an animated series! Love this story I'm listening through it again for the 3rd time

[@monkeydragonson9851]

What they need is Darwinian field training

[@ForeverDegenerate]

Honestly? Had it been me playing as Sarge, I would have turned the game on the GM. The moment the little piss-ants started to question my squad's competence and the accuracy of my stories, I would have dismissed them for the day and told them to reconvene here same time next day. Once they left, I would have ordered Twitch to rig all of their chars with electrical apparatuses (basically turn all of their chairs into taser chairs). The next day, I would have sat them down, soldiers and Comissars included, and handed out a bunch of datapads. I would say, "Today we're going to play a game. It's called Warhammer 40K. Oh and before any of you think of it, don't get up without my permission. Your chairs are wired. You even attempt to stand, you WILL be tasered into next Tuesday. And if you somehow manage to survive that and actually stand up from the table..." Then I turn to Cutter and point to him as he closes and locks the door, melee weapon in hand, "...I have ordered Cutter to knock your ass out if you attempt to leave the room." Then I would stand, arms folded behind my back, "Now that I have your attention. Many of you seem to think we're blowing smoke out of our asses with our lectures and stories. Many of you believe you can do our jobs better than we can. Today and going forward, you get to put that to the test. Turn on your datapads." As they turn their datapads on, they would see pre-made character sheets for the game. I would continue, "Some of you will be playing us. Others will be playing people outside our squad that is integral to the story." Then I would smile as Doc and Nubby sit back for story time, Twitch has his hands on the controls for the chairs, and Cutter crosses his arms as leans against the door, "Those of you playing us, your mission is to accompany Nubby as he attempts to negotiate a deal for the purchase of a ship..."

[@StaleReference]

if only, but a dm would nope out of that quickly. as a dm myself, I couldn't imagine running nested 5e (I want 40k but would probably never play it) and would metagame and say that that can't happen

[@GundamReviver]

You wouldn't have to run it at that detail, it would be a "cut to black, a few hours have passed--sort of affair

[@ZGuy0fSci]

Makes a few "pet" tyranids seem like a nice idea for........ training reasons.

[@RAFMnBgaming]

No! No! Land of 10,000 Nopes!

[@Falsealarm.]

The cute space bugs of death

[@Omnifelix]

I’m so glad I found this channel

[@the_seeker.entity9206]

The intro had me dying😂😂😂

[@toastertech1181]

nothing annoys guardsmen more than un-matching uniforms

[@singletona082]

How about an unlocked foot locker?

[@PowerSkiff12]

WHAT IS THAT INQUISITOR PYLE!

[@digitalhammer4373]

Cutter Ok I am going to teach you the best thing to stay alive how to dodge (Look up team 4 star Piccolo training)

[@Hailix4240]

I just realized I have no clue who the narrator is. Seriously. What the hell does he do. He refers to all of them in the second person, but never says "I did ___" seriously.

[@TheTaleForge]

Shoggy has been doing that intentionally. I think he said if someone gets enough traction, he'll let people know, but personally I like how it reads as it is.

[@PaPajTheLad]

i just noticed that aswell, like, we know what everyone else job is, but what is the narrators job

[@thonktank1239]

Yeah, that really bothers me more than it should. Either have a first person narrator or a third person one but you just can't mix them.

[@emptyblue6530]

The style it's written is is called third person limited.

[@thonktank1239]

Empty Blue no it's not, third person narrators are not supposed to include themselfes in the story.

[@hiromitsumoonblossom8682]

oh, man... Oak sending them to be teachers? what can possibly go wrong? the answer may shock you. muahahahaha!

[@ShakaFishing]

Right on with the series!

[@ciarantanner1464]

what platform is this told from, is it the game, well it flows to much for any of the games. is it the table top game, it would be alot more random. my say is that its just a fiction

[@TheTaleForge]

Darwinian Character Creation was run using Only War, and the rest is Dark Heresy.

[@ciarantanner1464]

@@TheTaleForge ah i see

[@RAFMnBgaming]

As i understand it it was written quite a while after the game was over, so things may not have been quite the way shoggy remembers them, but i doubt it's that fictionalized. Plus, as with any RPG, the GM can absolutely fudge the very nature of reality to make things more "Interesting", so...

[@gatordragon6140]

Hey if anything the gaurdsman party are the best of inquisitors, they already know the best way to deal with anything is to blow it up until its glass

[@jesusofsuburbia8825]

I think the oc is Doc

[@RuslanLagashkin]

Oak. Oak tree.

[@matthewp4046]

Ok now I want to hear stories from an all psyker team

[@perrinbesch40]

I understand i am late to the video but didn't cutter die killing the possessed cogtech?

[@perrinbesch40]

i also must ask, Didn't Twitch die killing a traitor marine????

[@TheTaleForge]

Twitch is alive and kicking, Crisp died to the traitor marine.

[@perrinbesch40]

Thanks for the clarification and quick response. Just found the channel and am binging the series. Sub earned.

[@spikeydemonsd6377]

They hit the reverse gravity button doc found earlier when looking for warp button to stop cutters fall

[@kitchenjail3546]

Cutty is alive and well.

[@trapscancreate5760]

What character is the narrator?

[@griffindenomme706]

Nubby

[@REDandBLUEandORANGE]

The team

[@rodrikforrester6989]

Yes.

[@thunderturtle3151]

Who is the narrator that say that they were apart of it all but they don’t talk about themselves at all we don’t even have a name they probably aren’t the DM as at the beginning of this adventure they spoke about the DM in the 3rd person so who are they?

[@mattmark94]

the All Guardsmen Party is the narrator

[@thunderturtle3151]

mattmark94 oh ok

[@natesuggs9798]

I saw somewhere under another comment that the narrator plays Nubby. They just talk in third person to make the focus be of the party rather than just Nubby

[@katastrophe8321]

Nubby Nubs but also crisp for the sessions he was involved.

[@workshopsmashers5154]

I thought all things dnd made this part now i don’t have to wait yes👌

[@nicoloanoushe9277]

Bro every idea is better than letting Nuby buy a shit, besides maybe that one time when a dude thought to read some demonic scripture, just to fund out what kind of evil he deals with......

[@isengaja]

Yess!! Listening now :D

[@yuvalgabay1023]

I dont get it twitch , nub , sergent, doc and the one whit a chain sword. Are they player or npc?!

[@griffindenomme706]

They are the players

[@discipleoftzeentch8384]

They are the players, the joke/point of the campaign is that all players are guardsman ie play as the shmucks, and are paired with incompetence, traitors, and bad teammates, hilarious hijinx ensue

[@yuvalgabay1023]

@@discipleoftzeentch8384 well the writer is very good if he make me think it is acshelly a story

[@CrucibleOfHate]

@@yuvalgabay1023 acshelly? And it IS actually a story. I imagine your dnd group isn't very fun.

[@REDandBLUEandORANGE]

Those are all the squad I think they have about 30 back up characters for when they inevitably die

[@bainbonic]

I wish I was there, as a teacher who cares, I think I could have done well. XD

[@felixsanchez5103]

WOOOOOOOOO!