The Black Cat and Golden Retriever Theory: Truth vs. BS

[@kennethshelton5537]

This is so important. People approach intimacy and love through a game of strategy instead of authenticity to avoid getting hurt. I’m glad you spoke on this ❤.

[@ambergrace2137]

"Chasing leads to unfulfillment" - Said it perfectly.

[@IAMTRASHMAN267]

This is just sounds like an anxious/avoidant dynamic

[@TheDWZemke]

Omg been happly married over 30 years. After listening i am amazed we made it with just being dedicated and loyal to each other, while understanding that we both need to be inquisitive about life and each other.

[@assianeu197]

I love how you hold her accountable and called her out on the bs while staying real compassionate and help her understand herself better. You're great at this

[@naomilitz4744]

This was so very insightful. For a period of time I was very intrigued by embodying the black cat energy but as you said only coming from a place of fearing abandonment and wanting to reclaim my power. Though shortly after putting on this kind of mask I realized that it was not serving me nor was I being authentic. Slipping into this archetype once in a while, or having healthy boundaries is so much more beneficial and creates a true chance for love, along with many other beautiful things you also mentioned in this video.

[@cammercook3210]

Just sounds like a game... a strategy. Its gross, not partnership

[@DR-vf9tr]

Thank you. There’s so much pop psych dating stuff out here nowadays and you did a wonderful job elucidating how unfulfilling this idea is in reality.

[@4Authenticity]

My marriage began with her chasing me and ended in me desperately trying to serve her. She hated that she chased and felt I should chase her; she got what she wanted and wasn’t happy (nor aware of what she created). There are so many dynamics in relationships, this being one, so there are many other variables, facets, or as Jillian said “nuance” to every situation. Chase in a basic sense is necessary to attract and engage (from both sides). Even trying to attract is part of the chase dynamic. And it must evolve to “support” once in relationship. Too much of it and things go off balance. Too much of it and a power dynamic is created where one gets consumed and the other feels the need for more or something else. Each of us individually must own our part, able to communicate our needs while containing them (not being too needy) and willing to meet the needs of our partner. True intimacy requires continual alignment and adjustment. Some can’t handle that process, others are still looking for the partner who knows what it takes and are willing to put in the work.

[@jane77722]

Wisdom: "All these strategies. When the greatest strategy is being yourself and loving yourself enough to not put a stranger on a pedestal and make them the central character of your life." Thank you, Jillian. Why play a game when you have to live with who a person authentically is? 🤔

[@trolareca]

Thank you so much for this vídeo. I have been married for 14 years and it is like in the beginning: easy. No games, no overthinking, no me being one thing and he another. We are our own persons and we like being together. We are, and have always been, a team. Sometimes he chases, sometimes I chase. Enough with the theories. Love, when real, is EASY. That’s it.

[@jaylanmyers2576]

God.... You make this make so much sense. Everything you say is absolutely understandable from my human experience and I love that I can take your teachings and apply them to my own life where it is needed. Definitely going to be watching more of your videos...... Just wow..... Wow...

[@jillianonlove]

Thank you so much for being here!

[@kingagrad3436]

Jillian, I find your insight having an enormous value. Thank you for approaching THIS topic.

[@ArtemisDeer444]

This story is identical to mine apart from neither of us are in another relationship..... The novelty, uncertainty and adventure is highly addictive for someone like me with ADHD. He's unavailable because he isn't looking for a relationship, and I'm going against my values because to me I'm engaging in low value behavior when I know I deserve more. But everytime I walk away I end up going back because the sx is amazing, and I've never experienced it before to this degree. The struggle is real... Thank you for your clarity and insights ✨🙏🏻

[@mashae.1066]

Same, girl! 😢

[@apriljohnson1067]

Relationships are about constantly striving for connection and intimacy, never resting on your laurels or they become just friends you’re having sex with. If you play games to get a mate, you are not only disingenuous, you are not forming a bond with someone who knows you. Relationship advice today is horrible.

[@siennanoe11e]

This video is fantastic. Thank you for breaking this down in such a clear way

[@Mia1827]

Fantastic video A month ago, my five-year marriage came to an end. I'm devastated that my real love chose to distance themselves from me. I've tried everything to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I try my hardest not to think about him, but I can't help but miss him and think about him often. I truly couldn't explain why I'm saying this. 🥺😞

[@cynthiabanks-x7q]

Saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult; I know this from my 12-year relationship ending. But I was unable to simply let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counselor, who was able to help me regain his affection.

[@Mia1827]

It's interesting! How can I contact a spiritual counselor most efficiently, and how did you find one?

[@cynthiabanks-x7q]

Father Obah Eze is a wonderful spiritual counselor who has the ability to bring back your ex.

[@cynthiabanks-x7q]

He can assist you; he is Father Obah Eze, and he possesses immense powers.

[@Mia1827]

I just sought him up online thanks to your helpful information. remarkable I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and he's really genuine. Thank you again ❤

[@ShadeCandle]

As a man with the personality of a cat, I'm not sure what to think.

[@YanaWanderlust.]

This video is the gold. Thanks Julian❤

[@brooklynbud1138]

A man who does not - eventually - experience reciprocity in romance will - eventually - grow disinterested, cut his losses, and move on.

[@Angel-ou6ve]

True But I was wondering instead of being one, why not both? Like knowing when you should be a black cat and then know when to be a golden retriever that's like trusting your intuition.

[@Carohini9799]

Thank you! Some people really go overboard with the black cat and golden retriever thing. Of course there is something to it (especiaslly in the beginning) as you say but I do not want to have a full time golden retriever guy as a partner. I would lose respect and admiration...

[@beac8238]

That’s what I thought when I saw those videos! The women seem like they only like their man because he likes her more. Which is a shame. Because she will eventually cheat. Or her man will when he gets tired of being valued for what he does instead of who he is.

[@anaisnin9042]

THANK YOU

[@TheStayAtHomePetMom]

Thank you.

[@ameliaetienne8521]

Sis you went off

[@jillianonlove]

💁🏻‍♀️

[@MrJrawks]

I'm going to go with intermittent reinforcement, this is why your world is all about him. It's literally addictive and it makes it so that you get that dopamine hit when she gets the positive reinforcement. It's the box that delivers random treats in the study with the rats the box became their lives. I don't think morally she's in the wrong for having fun on her end. Smiles are smiles. Technically it isn't her commitment to keep. And this dude would be doing this regardless of her. I think focusing on the intermittent reinforcement is the best way to cut it off.

[@VoidRealms]

this video hit hard

[@rajmathew6220]

I love her style

[@TheBlessingReport]

great video

[@wadeverweire7810]

🌈☀️ Great video ! I like your thoughts and advice for the person's question at the end of your video . Addressing the elephant in the room for sure . I wouldn't change a word of your advice, I would have advised them the same way. I definitely continue to share your channel and videos with people ! Have a great day Jillian ❤ ☀️

[@jillianonlove]

Thank you so much for your support! ❤️

[@wadeverweire7810]

@jillianonlove Always ❤️☀️🐦‍⬛🎶🎶

[@ashleigh9659]

If shes in close proximity to him that means shes also seeing his partner and their child regularly...kevin samuels rolling over in his grave hearing the mistress say shes high value...the market apparently disagrees if youre willing to shove yourself into whatever scraps of time this man is willing to give ...that you know is willing to step out on a 5 year relationship where a child is involved. Its all very much the opposite of high value ....and a distraction to keep neither of you in a healthy relationship where something might be expected. Block. Look away. Walk the long way. Shop near work.

[@Novemberrain341]

Yep!!! It’s women like her….But remember Karma will always come back to her one day when she least expects it.

[@HustleHabit]

Good observation. The woman from the letter is actually getting what she deserves. When she is a person of higher character, she naturally won't participate in similar situations. She's right where she needs to be, to learn the lesson she needs to learn.

[@Csarah121]

16:16 - 18:00 this!

[@disturbed0insane]

Sis, this is the only way that works in this generation. I understand where you are coming from, but unfortunately, we all are too damaged for vulnerability.

[@iamjoshuahoward3132]

7:58 My Ex

[@betsy56]

Ima a tabby and a black dog in one baby.

[@pacificatoris9307]

In other words, a hot girl problem?

[@sagenutrition7342]

I am not listening to your pc nonsense language

[@danielv.5988]

Idk I don't think she overdoes it, just neutral speech

[@johntoomey6264]

Sorry but you’ve got this completely backwards.. the MAN must remain mysterious and keep the woman curious of his world.. if she’s thinking about and chasing you she’s not thinking of other guys .. sorry do not agree w you at all … the MAN is the black cat

[@danielhamilton5094]

I agree, women line up for this kind of man