The Case of 'Pick Me' Songs

taking a look back at the most beloved ‘pick me’ songs and what they all might entail
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[@levitatingstan6526]

My problem with Avril isn’t how she capitalized being a pick me but how she made fun of Britney just bc she liked pink, crop tops and tight jeans and acted soooo superior

[@Violet-du9bk]

But then she changed her look to look like all the people she made fun of.

[@AngeBiampandou]

​@@Violet-du9bkThat part. It's just the hypocrisy that I have a problem with bc she never acknowledge that part as far as I know

[@osenifabua1912]

She was an angsty teenager who was playing into her public persona. People grow up and change their minds

[@Martina_B]

​@@osenifabua1912 not to mention she just left high school when she became famous

[@BangTanSonyeondan_baldhead_era]

​​​@@osenifabua1912 yeah, and besides her and Britney are okay now. Brit even invite her in her show in Vegas and she even promote her songs in tw. It's just like Paris Hilton playing her public persona "Pretty dumb blonde" and Avril was a "Emo girl" and "tomboy". She grew up and become more mature to understand that there's nothing wrong being so feminine and she herself decide to change her hair, style, and fashion.

[@fanfandd23]

Not liking short skirts and girly girl aesthetic isn’t being a pick me but putting down another women for the love or attention of a man is pick me behavior.

[@MineralTown]

yeah the key to being a pick me is male centering. seems like most dont get that and its just any girl who vocalizes that they dont like traditionally feminine clothes and hobbies is automatically a pick me. seems pretty backwards

[@iThiink]

Its a pick me trait, you're seperating yourself from the majority to try and seem different and "better". No one gives a shit that these women/girls look and act different, its not special

[@clarajoao3359]

This. People also don’t realise a lot the society context when talking about some artists who rejected such aesthetic and behaviour during certain eras. I mean…just look at Paris Hilton, an incredible smart person, she pretended to be less intelligent than she was and even changed her voice to appeal more to society. During that time women and especially girls felt pressure to be and act like her because she not only looked, she also acted how society saw as the goal and beauty standards. Many people rejecting such and, unfortunately, running their mouth about her was more to do with hating those standard than her; they just didn’t express what they were feeling as careful as we do nowadays because we’re more worried about being misunderstood, or they didn’t know how to express themselves clearly, or/and of course they felt resented about others who fit such norms and unfairly took it on them instead of looking at the real issue. Also, let’s not forget than many who actually followed such standards were only doing it for the male attention and got called out by people that the creator of this videos sees as picks me, which is ignorant. What was talked in the video is much more complex than what people like to make others believe. A pick me doesn’t have a specific style, look or attitude; they simply present themselves for male attention while putting other women down.

[@AngelLili1]

100%

[@fan7708]

Nothing like a pick me song for a good pick me up

[@hayatta112]

😂😂😂😂

[@blueblack3591]

Haha funny ❤

[@kevinrentz8773]

Lol😂

[@wonderwalledit]

Right! 🤣

[@PrettybuoyJones1992]

😂😂❤

[@roxannemapache826]

Tbh I think every human being has felt the feeling of “why them not me” somewhere in their life. Mainly in high school, these signs were empowering for me. Made me feel bad ass for a moment. Most (hopefully) people grow out of it.

[@caitlingill]

I wrote a cheesy song about it: Thinking about you And the moments that we shared I want you to date me But I know I can’t compare My heart is twisted in a knot The question of to be or not My mind is darting constantly I’m trying to be kind but I can’t stop to think about Baby we got unfinished business Oh yeah we got unfinished plans And I know I can’t compare to her But I think you should know That deep down I still want you And even though I know That life isn’t like the movies Where the edgy weird girl Ends up with the cute popular guy And the popular girl is left in the dust Because in real life Most likely that guy Picks the popular girl instead But once I want to dream that Life is like the movies, oh instead

[@whyisthisdifferentnow]

You’re supposed to go throw a phase like that, when you’re young. Then, learn how stupid it is and move on. Adults doing this is wild, to me.

[@Agnestastic]

Yes! For me the pick-me phase shouldn't be so much laughed at, as much as understood as a sign of something lacking. Self-esteem, confidence, empathy for others, etc.. People grow out of it and learn.

[@Chillikilli]

Exactly

[@Culereterno1899]

It's Jealousy that's it

[@jameshetfieldno1fan]

as someone who is more introverted but goes to parties because my friends like to, it baffles me that Alessia Cara song is labeled as a “pick me girl” song 💀💀

[@angelmushahf]

This was the most relatable song I heard when I was younger. Ppl just didn’t understand introverts lol

[@ihonestlydontevenknow4359]

facts bro. i’m a dude and i bump that shit 😂 i never once got pick me vibes from it. the song is deadass relatable too.

[@thatclaudiakid]

Ngl “pick me” songs use to be a mixed bag for me. I was girly, but very shy as a kid. So while these songs made fun of girly-ness, I felt empowered by the “I’m not popular” sort of message. I felt attacked, yet heard, if that makes sense? 00s was just a different time, and it was a lot of fun!

[@aghasearmyshawolblinkonce8039]

it totally makes sense

[@savannamusic]

YES LIKE not being a “cool kid” but then u realize it’s more😭

[@amandarogers6161]

Honestly I always felt like Pink's song "stupid girls" was criticizing those women how where dumbing themselves down to get attention, and attacking women was the norm back then. And "here" is just such a good song, as an introvert I've been in that position where I'd rather just be home and not forcing myself to interact in a way that feels so forced.

[@barucchan]

another song that could've made the list is 'girls' by marina, she even said that she doesn't like that song anymore because it has a lot of internalized misogyny.

[@cloverisklowvrr]

We love her for growing out of her pick me phase abpnd acknowledging it!

[@str8wacker]

damn, never thought about that. TFJ remains one of my favorite albums of all time, track-for-track, but she definitely had a bit of a "not like other girls" tinge to her back then (girls being the most obvious example, there are only teeny hints of it in other tracks [hollywood/oh no])-glad she's acknowledged it and moved on

[@Halfcupofcoffee]

I kinda like the song since I interpret it differently, I relate to the “I don’t understand them even though I’m supposed to” feeling I get from it. I’m diagnosed with autism and growing up I felt like that pretty often lol especially since I was undiagnosed then. But that’s my interpretation :D I see it as more of being frustrated that you can’t connect with others, even though you want to

[@littlebitaver]

Pink said in an interview around the release of 'Funhouse' album "everyone thinks I'm bashing Jessica Simpson - when I'm actually saying how much cooler she is than me because the waiter gave her my table." Pink was marketed with an edge so that she stood out from her peers, but I've never seen her as a "pick-me", more that she always strived to be voice for the misunderstood. By todays standards, yes some of her lyrics come across as mean-spirited, for fans like myself, she's never been anything but empowering.

[@Buzz0Killington]

Nah…that one quote doesn’t fully explain away ALL her behavior and music over the years.

[@Exalted_in_Venus]

I think a lot of people missed the point of "stupid girl" Jessica Simpson responded to it saying something like - "you know I'm only pretending to be dumb" and p!nk was like yeah, I know... That's the point. These women (Paris, Jessica Simpson, Nicole Ricci, ect) were capitalising off of pretending to be stupid, behaving and dressing a certain way, maybe for the benefit of men and the greater whole as to what was an acceptable way to be a women at the time. I think it's more of an anthem for people who saw straight though that and said I'm not going to be like that. Pretend or otherwise, I'm not dumbing myself down and buying into all of the sexist and capitalist ideals that rule over us to appeal to men or anyone else. I'm just going to be me, smart, healthy eating, successful as me. I reject that way.

[@avidardentavantgardist4667]

I'm glad that you brought up that not everything is black and white when it comes to pick-mes. As a girl with autism I've never really fit in with other people, i remember when i was a little kid in school I always wanted a friend group that i could rely on. Almost every time i tried to make friends, the girls especially would be condescending and I hardly ever got invited to events. I am apprehensive to talk about my childhood because i don't want to come off as a pick me, but at the same time i think it's a huge problem how a lot of people who say they're a "girl's girl" don't keep that energy with autistic women. It might be internalized sexism on their part, and they just take it out on the "easy target" so they can feel better about themselves. I also admit that I have a bit of my own internalized sexism because of my childhood, but I recognize it and I'm working through it. I don't hate women, I love them. Most of my favorite artists and musicians are women, and most of my favorite movies have female leads. I have a great friend group now that has both men and women in it and i wouldn't trade them for the world. I'm just glad you addressed this because I've felt a little isolated on the matter. (Sorry for any grammar mistakes, I'm on mobile)

[@lordfreerealestate8302]

A lot of people get mislabeled as "pick me, not like the other girls" if they are just different sometimes. Internalized misogyny is bad and we need to talk about it, but people like you and I who are just different for many reasons shouldn't be attacked.

[@bobbiejean2410]

Thank you for sharing. That's a critical perspective to hear!

[@CA-vy8et]

I dealt with this a lot too as a child! The girls were always the nastiest, they would invite me over to the lunch table as a “friendly” gesture, then they’re egging me on to do something embarrassing for their entertainment, etc. I eventually grew to stay away from most women growing up, since I felt I was seen as an easy target to them, I’m trying to get out of that mindset as an adult but its hard when it seems like most adults dont mentally age past HS…

[@lmcb8447]

Real, same , partially relate to those struggles strongly

[@smr6141]

Girls with disabilities just have it way different and you expressed that really well. Not autistic but my early behavioral issues mirrored autism so even if I had a couple friends here and there they’d eventually leave I was mostly isolated. College really is changing me and my internalized beliefs and habits for the better tho.

[@Chuu_Vault]

Listen....Avril is a canadian icon and a punk/pop icon....but unfortanely back in the day she was i'm not like the other Girls icon 😅 that doesn't negate the fact that most of her discography is classics and bops

[@rileysjonger4192]

because back then, her aesthetic was judged??? so obviously she made songs to empower young girls like her? i don't see the problem with that.

[@sommerblume9671]

@@rileysjonger4192 it was still a relatively big group though.. punk/alt/emo/goth etc were big way before her lol

[@CutiePatutie_SmookiePookieBear]

.

[@Chelaxim]

​@@sommerblume9671I wouldn't say emo was big before her. She was the first mainstream success from the emo/pop punk era. Avril predates MCR and FOB....not their mainstream breakthrough...she predates both of them releasing their first album. There's a big difference between the numbers era of pop punk and the guy liner era and Avril falls in the middle. With Avril is was like "what if we made pop punk...that wasn't singing from the nose and wasn't happy all the time".

[@lordfreerealestate8302]

It's okay to both enjoy her music while recognizing it did have some problematic elements.

[@Anna101shark]

The funny thing about these "not like the other" girls is that they are like practically every girl I know. That is perfectly fine. Everyone has interests. Liking horror films, Halloween, being friends with mostly boys, serial killer/true crime documentaries, wearing baggy clothes, etc, isn't unique. Just because you don't like typical girly things doesn't mean you are better than those that do, and that works the other way, too. Women are great and women are powerful. ❤

[@mmgs1148]

Actually being friends with boys is like one of these things every pretty and popular girl does lol so idk how it is related to 'not like other girls' who are more awkward

[@Anna101shark]

@mmgs1148 sure Jan. "Girls are too much drama", "I share more interests with boys" ect. This is literally what I have seen and heard. A lot of these "INLOG" aren't actually awkward, and that's pretty much their personality of "look how much of an individual I am and how quirky I am because there's no way anyone else likes all the same stuff I do". Fun little tid bit for you. Back when I was a young warthog the popular girlies in my high school weren't the typical pretty girls you saw in them cliche films. It was the "INLOG".

[@no.reply_]

Going through a horror, murder mystery, true crime phase is basically a part of girlhood now, it’s funny when ppl act like its unique

[@Anna101shark]

@@no.reply_ Very that!

[@Raebrained]

100% All the girlies can exist in harmony

[@Malum09]

I often felt some of these songs and the images of the singers were manipulated by the record labels to corner a market they didn't have their claws into yet

[@augustproductions4914]

This discussion is incomplete without Demi Lovato's La La Land. That song got a revival when people would use it in their "not like other girls" Tik Tok skits. And lyrically, yeah it reads like a typical NLOG anthem from the 00s, but it seems more about Demi Lovato trying not to let fame change her too much.

[@tahsina.c]

Love that song 😭❤ Its criticising the music and showbiz industry "la la land" being another word for LA, that was really rigid at the time and to an extent still is.

[@lydias8303]

KHHYAHNVERSE

[@Idk_Yara98]

It took me about 13 years to realize that the mean girl in You belong with me was Taylor Swift herself with just a wig on 💀. I found out like 2 yrs ago. Idk how I didn’t recognize her. She was just wearing a wig 💀🗿

[@Chelaxim]

It's litterally the excat same thing with Avril Lavigne's Girlfriend... Except Avril managed to make the worst one because in the music video nerdy Avril is painted as the villain. At least Hayley and Taylor depicted the protagonist as the underdog.

[@Jadisons]

I didn't even know that the mean girl was Taylor until this video 💀 I just haven't watched the music video in years lmaooo

[@ehhdt.3909]

It was so obvious but it took me a good decade 💀

[@BangTanSonyeondan_baldhead_era]

She took inspired from Avril's Girlfriend mv

[@parkerisles7256]

@@Chelaxim Nerdy Avril is obviously a victim but since the pov is from the Rebellious/Punk Avril, she’s potraying the situation as “I’m rescuing this guy from a bad relationship” instead of “I’m actively pursuing someone who’s taken, cheating with them, harassing their girlfriend, and is trying to convince him into breaking up with her.” She’s the hero of her own story hence why Nerdy Avril was portrayed as the antagonist.

[@cozytheoverlord4905]

This is just speculation, but I get the feeling that the BTR lyric change was a lot more personal than just Taylor trying to be pc. She wrote that song when she was 18, before she herself would go on to experience that same kind of slutshaming on a much wider, inescapable scale. She’s talked a lot about how those experiences in her early 20’s especially were really damaging to her and her sense of self, and I think it affected her relationship to the song. In 2014 she basically said it’s not something she stands by anymore, and after the Speak Now Tour ended she went over a decade without performing it at all - she performed it for the first time since then in 2023, and that was with the new lyric change. I think personal experiences may have just made it really hard for her to stomach that line, and changing it was less about public pressure and more just a personal choice. But again, that’s just speculation. (And as someone who has adored BTR since I first heard it in 2010, I fully support the lyric change because it seems to be the reason why she’s willing to play the song live again, which I am ecstatic about)

[@tinewordsmith126]

this is true, i remember she even said something in miss americana that she has to recondition her entire mindset that was previously poisoned by the norms when she was in her teens to her early 20's, like that there is no such thing as a "bitch" or a "slut"

[@Unsweetened8618]

The 2000s was nothing but the Pick Me era

[@Alexandra-ew3ep]

Girls on TikTok are all pick me

[@moonflower6607]

the 2010s as well with the tumblr culture

[@burnt-toast6]

A 17 minute video! He's feeding us well today!

[@fan7708]

I think it’s funny how we went from pick me songs to the anti pick me songs. Female artist nowadays preach how horrible men are and how we should be single then go come and cuddle up with their man🤣🤣

[@indoorplant2392]

Real

[@sommerblume9671]

feeeeeeeeeeeemale

[@fan7708]

@@sommerblume9671 it’s funny bc I don’t use the term female in my regular life to describe women I just love how the term female artist sound 🤣

[@CutiePatutie_SmookiePookieBear]

.

[@LoneWulf278]

The songs are rarely even written by women. 🌚

[@Jadisons]

Avril was one of the artists that kids would listen to when they didn't want to be seen as a "girly girl". I was one of those kids. In actuality, I wish I would've embraced femme culture more as a child, and didn't have so much hatred for girls who were girly. I've had to relearn that over the years. Either way, we should have never thought that being girly and pink was something to look down upon. We should have been allowed to be whatever we wanted to be. I'm glad the new generation is learning from those mistakes.

[@lmcb8447]

Same like even if some women genuinely don't find the concept of femininity suitable for themselves, they gotta know that other women who genuinely like it for themselves instead of for society approval, they're no better (or worse) than them, just as equal. A woman isn't better than another woman wether she's more or less feminine.

[@rebecca1331]

will say my biggest pet peeve with pick me music is a lot of these artists like taylor swift are constantly complaining about misogyny and it’s like…but you help to perpetuate it. I’ve always said this about female rappers for example. Nicki Minaj will talk about how hard it’s been carrying female rap on her back by herself and stuff which i sympathize with 100%. Then the things that she says on songs? It’s just like well what do we expect? To move forward when your songs are all about how your intimate parts are better than another girls? Like taylor is tired of people constantly talking about how she is always in a new relationship, but then…better than revenge? It’s interesting how certain women feel entitled to preferable treatment while being able to put other women down in my opinion.

[@PotatoWaffle-sl4xf]

Better than revenge was released in 2010 and written when Taylor was like 19 😭 shes changed since then

[@VioletNKisHere]

@@PotatoWaffle-sl4xf Yeah!

[@zk6019]

right? like how how many women have they "beefed" with throughout their career 😂

[@VioletNKisHere]

@@zk6019 woman can have fights with each other without being sexist.

[@HTgirls-mt1mm]

Pink was the biggest pick me girl. She always saw herself different then others, said it to

[@gladyskihara4736]

She is different. Pink was never the girl who liked dresses, pink and other things that are stereotyped as being feminine. There are women who don't like these things. However, there can be various types of feminity without tearing the other down. This is who she is. She never does these things to appeal to men. This is her being her

[@AmberPatoc]

We all are different.I can dress like a princess and still act boisterous.She isn't a pick-me, she's honest to say that we all have differences.Her songs are empowering

[@JacquelineVergnaud]

@@AmberPatocI agree I actually love stupid girls (minus the making fun of ED’s or insinuating that dumb girls have them) that was messed up. But other than that, She is just saying as women, we have so much potential and so much to give to the world that we shouldn’t dumb ourselves down or rely solely on our bodies for success. If we put our minds to it and educate ourselves, we can be whatever we want to be, teachers, nurses, doctors, engineers, therapists, hair stylists. Whatever, so long as it’s meaningful. She even complimented Britney when she said she was tired of being compared to her, it wasn’t because of anything bad, it was just because Britney was “prettier” in her own words and she wants to highlight that we as women are not a Monolith, we come in all shapes and sizes. If done in a subtler way that didn’t demonize girls with ED, this is a great message imo. Also it’s important to note that in an interview about the song, Pink said she didn’t believe the girls she depicts in the music video are actually stupid, just that they dumb themselves down to please men and they shouldn’t have to resort to that. If anything, it points out misogyny

[@AmberPatoc]

@@JacquelineVergnaud My favorite song from her is "F***in' Perfect" me and my friend feel the song about what we're going through in school 'til now

[@jackchop1576]

@@gladyskihara4736and she went out of her way to trash other women which is why she's a pick me.

[@JosieMarie-vg9ei]

Some of these singers/women in the 2000's weren't so much going after other individual girls, but were going against societal standards and stereotypes for women. I think there was a lot of anger toward women's place in society and anger about not being taken seriously as people, and a lot of women would take it out on other girls who acted "dumb" or "too girly" because they blamed them for this. Hopefully this makes sense. It's just really complex, and the term "pick me girl" really oversimplifies things and puts a very diverse group of women, with differing motives and opinions, into one single category. It's actually really misogynistic.

[@SteadyNUnremitting]

Pink was the queen of the pick me gurlies. She constantly attacked other female artists in the 2000s for their femininity

[@Crawlingdreams418]

That wasn't the point of Stupid Girls. She was calling Paris and all these other women out for sexualizing and dumbing themselves down for the sake of the audience when, in reality, the women in question were very smart and self-sufficient As for Don't Let Me Get Me, this is her referring to the image that they tried to force onto her at the beginning of her career

[@GoblinsAreAGirlsBestFriend]

Attack where?

[@Crawlingdreams418]

Except pink didn't hate them. She was calling them out on dumbing themselves down when they were actually smart women

[@dayday8984]

While mocking woman with eating disorders? Ya right ​@Crawlingdreams418

[@hikariluanGC]

​@@Crawlingdreams418 People still do not understand in what context Pink did what she did. I'm not saying she did it perfectly, she's a human being and made a lot of mistakes, but at the time she was trying to paint girls as smart, strong, bad ass, lovable, etc. It was a time where most of the media, including pop music, wanted submission, sexiness, skinny, etc. artists and was trying to de-humanize and diminish women to sexy icons only. That wasn't a positive thing at all as it is today, it was degrading because it was the pure de-humanization and destruction of womanhood detached from the strength and personhood. It doesn't happen nowadays because our women sexy icons are seen as whole human beings and much more than just "dumb sexy icons" appealing to the male gaze such as it was back in the day. Pink was trying to make an antithesis of that. What people do not understand is that she was trying to humanize other women artists and women in general. She did trespass some thresholds jumping into straight attacking and denigrating other women directly because of her angst against what they meant. At the time, she was the "other one", the "ostracized" woman artist because she portrayed women as whole human beings. That angst came out in the context of how those women and images were punching back against the fight for women to be seen as whole human beings.

[@tahsina.c]

I loved these songs as a teenager. I felt weird af especially in all white school, it was very affirming. Love this nuanced take, women arent this collective consciousness and we dont always get along and it doesnt mean we hate other women or are an NLOG. I really hope we eventually can express ourselves without being subjected to all this scrutiny based around our gender.

[@tavamaneeramasamy7251]

ai athe the

[@nerd26373]

We appreciate how well you've articulated your insights. You'll always have our support no matter what.

[@markramos1216]

Baby who’s we 😭 How many people are behind this account?? 💀

[@delia_watercolors8186]

Genuine question: it is not unusual for teenage girls to be othered by their female peers. It can be for any reason- many girls just gang up on one deemed the outsider. Why can't girls who feel othered write about their experience? What if they really aren't like the other girls in their group? We aren't all alike. I'm not saying this applies to all or most the songs listed. But i can see that some of these lyrics came from a genuine place of feeling othered.

[@declaracionespolemicas]

I share your sentiment. Instead of just outright vilinizing the NLOG phenomenom, why don't we dive into why so often girls feel this way and if it comes from a genuine place? Because you're right, often girl bullying involves social exclusion and "othering" the victims of bullying. Sometimes it seems like terms like NLOG or "pick me" have evolved past their original meanings into another form of telling girls/women they can't feel or think a certain way, or express their individual self a certain way, and to stfu.

[@tc4062]

Yes. I was one of those girls and depression, autism and not being very feminine caused other people/girls to avoid me. Then my sexual orientation happened on top of that. Apparently talking about my experience would be seen as insulting because all girls must be the same. Are girls not individuals? I doubt men sharing a similar experience would be labelled 'pick me' or blamed for feelings of not belonging. Thankfully, the concept of 'pick me' doesn't even exist in my culture atm. I'm sure it will soon but it's funny how Anglo culture is all about hyper individualism and then constantly coming up with ways to bash and punish people for their identities/feelings.

[@jio06]

Ariana grandd break up with your girlfriend isnt even the first time she did that. Go hear one last time

[@mmgs1148]

Glad he acknowledged how much of a mental gymnastics is trying to prove its about self love lol

[@tomas9830]

I love myself a good pick me song

[@lolwat6991]

pick me songs are fun asl, idc!!

[@bmwjourdandunngoddess6024]

Only a few.

[@purpleseas]

im 52, female, and i live in the usa (sorry)

[@kevonwill5783]

You would say that

[@lolwat6991]

@kevonwill5783 if you're implying that i'm a pick me, just telling you that I'm not 😐

[@sad0ra]

no fr

[@LoneWulf278]

It’s kinda interesting to think about the space these pop songs take up in the modern age of hyper-femininity being pushed. 🤔

[@dannielleburrus6117]

I can't stop loving Misery Business. I just love it even if some of the lyrics are not great.

[@ShotGunFellatio]

pick me songs are my guilty pleasure

[@MauricioSierraM.]

All Avril Lavigne personality was created to be the "pick me girl", her look, the anti Britney movement, her lyrics, she's the queen of Pick Me girls

[@javiersifuentes1208]

I don't know why, but i've always thought that Avril talks about herself in like a sarcastic way in “one of those girls” 'cause of the things that people were saying about her “changing” her style, i mean she talks about a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes and she's a blonde with blue eyes (that's pretty much the line where i was like “is she talking about herlself?”, and there's another part of the song where she says “she's gonna be the end of you... At least that's what they say”) kinda like Taylor did later with Blank Space and the rumors about her being like this psycho girlfriend and the crazy fake stories about her dating life.

[@leorodrex]

I honestly feel that putting yourself or someone else down to impress someone will always be seen as something horrible, especially when it comes to women, I feel that in the 90s and 2000s they promoted that narrative to put other women against each other, ALTHOUGH, I feel that one thing is being a pick me and another is simply a woman talking about his vulnerabilities and her insecurities, I feel like we all at some point wanted attention from the opposite sex (or sexual preference) and that's normal.

[@ihonestlydontevenknow4359]

people say here’s a pick me song? the fuck? lmao i been listening to that shit since it came out and i never got pick me vibes from it (i’m a guy btw, i know pick me joints when i hear them)

[@hopeeworld]

Clearly you don't

[@ninaserafina823]

I've never really seen better than revenge as a pick me song in my opinion and I agree I'm a huge taylor fan but I wish she kept the mattress lyric

[@jio06]

I can't hear the new version. It don't hit the same

[@justjoannak]

It's 100% misogynistic but idk if I would classify as a pick me song

[@PotatoWaffle-sl4xf]

@@justjoannak. More like a slut-shamer song

[@bdfwhhsb]

Patiently waiting for your review of eternal sunshine! Really interested to hear what you think about the album

[@duhparis]

That clip of Avril gets me every time 😭

[@kelocoche]

Love the longer video!! Thank youuuu

[@Sunny-ip7um]

And also love when Pink is given a spotlight. I genuinely believe that she was trying to highlight an issue in Stupid Girls with them dumbing themselves down to be liked (Paris admitted this to her). That's not pick me, but saying, we need to expect more from women. You need to read the song lyrics in their entirety to get the full meaning. She definitely came after other girls in other ways, but she was young and also growing. It's ok not to be perfect and learn from mistakes. Some bad behaviour doesn't make a bad person and it's ok to call it out without fully cancelling someone.

[@kamieyonce]

Here isnt a pick me song but it is a ‘not like them’ song bc she couldve just left or not showed up-lots of ppl have anxiety if she wanted to be an introvert shouldnt have came to a party😂

[@FellDownTheCornHole]

Peer pressure exists.

[@kamieyonce]

@@FellDownTheCornHole noo??

[@AngeBiampandou]

Yeah, Here is a I'm a special snowflake song

[@livinqlovelyy]

I thought that song was about smoking weed oml

[@livinqlovelyy]

​@@AngeBiampandou what

[@jeremiahbrown2339]

I love that you put the definition of a “pick me” in the video bc ppl don’t know what a “pick me” is lol

[@rebecca1331]

Thank you for explaining that the whole pick me thing isn’t a black and white thing. I feel like people are obsessed with being able to categorize people into labels and boxes. A lot of women do have pick me tendencies whilst also admitting that they have their own internal issues they need to work on. Like I remember skmekne told me beyonce makes pick me girl music. While she has a lot of pick me girl songs, I think a lot of them stem from her insecurity in relationships and how she’s been treated in her relationship. Because on the flip side, she has a lot of women empowerment anthems. I think it shows vulnerability and realness if anything. I’m not a proponent or advocate for pick me behavior. I think we should all work towards being supportive for all women. I also don’t take celebrities being pick me’s serious because 9/10 the other girl that they’re talking about or putting down in their songs has at some point been them because…they’re celebrities. I feel like music is also like acting in a way. A lot of celebrities are also just trying to channel how they feel like other people out there might feel or what they might relate to.

[@donjai9366]

I never understood the term "Pick Me" until now after watching this video. Now I understand the meaning of the term "Pick Me" however I don't think that there is anything wrong w/ pick me songs. There are some pick me songs I like such as Girlfriend & Sk8ter Boy by Avril Lavigne , Misery Business by Paramore , So What by P!nk & Nasty by Destiny's Child. I wonder if there are any pick me songs by men because I feel like there are a lot of men who are not stereotypical men or "Not like most boys."

[@lordfreerealestate8302]

The "nice guys" often have the pick me attitude.

[@bez2215]

@@lordfreerealestate8302 yeah. I don’t think pick me can be positive. the most authentically different people love basic people, because they accept themselves first so they accept others and don’t putting themselves in competition with them.

[@bmwjourdandunngoddess6024]

Pick me ideology based on the male gender does not and cannot exist because we live in a patriarchal society.

[@perfectallycromulent]

every guy who has ever picked up a guitar thinks he's not like most boys.

[@donjai9366]

@@perfectallycromulent So people like Shawn Mendes or Ed Sheeran ? Would u consider their songs to be "pick me" songs ?

[@ayeyagomez]

pick me and nlog are similar concepts but they don't mean the same thing

[@karinarj5154]

What is nlog?

[@parkerisles7256]

@@karinarj5154 not like the other girls

[@karinarj5154]

@@parkerisles7256 ohh thankx

[@Tam...]

Pink's insecurities made her a mean girl in real life and in her career....I wonder how she's feeling about her past behaviors now?

[@parkerisles7256]

She’d probably say that what she did was terrible?

[@pepelishis]

This video just showed me how broken hayley's hair was, it probably felt like hay

[@Martina_B]

My main problem is that even the smallest critiques of celebrity culture gets branded as internalized misogyny, I admit that Pink's Stupid Girls didn't age very well and has problematic parts but the main takeaway of the song to me is that young girls should be themselves and don't have to emulate whatever female celebrities do. Even Everybody's Fool by Evanescence was perceived as being misogynistic and against Britney when it was in fact criticising celebrity worship and highlighting the dark side of fame, the fakeness of the public images many celebrities have etc and especially now that a genocide is taking place and many celebrities have shown their true colours and are either zionist or silent in order to not ruin their pockets or cause too much controversy, we clearly need to distinguish face-level criticism of celebrities that leans towards misogyny and legitimate criticism of celebrity, their influence, role in society, capitalism, their difference from regular citizens, the harmful ideas they promote, the cult mentality many of their fans have etc

[@franfinesim]

yes. I do not know why people act offended, because they are not a good influence on someone. Just deal with it. It's not misogyny. It's called modesty. I do not think Britney was faking anything. She was just polite and nice. She never dragged someone in public unlike many stars.

[@ItachiUchiha-sh6of]

I agree with the later half of what you said but I think Pink is the worst possible example of this lol. At best she was name dropping people for controversy/attention. Imo she was just a pick me. There are ways to get your point across that doesn't involve putting down other women. Especially, considering how much she did it. Like.... A blow up doll?! That's just unhinged 😅 I actually had no clue about Everybody's fool tho. I know the song I guess I never paid attention to the lyrics. And wasn't a kid when the song came out.

[@Copyrightbreaker22]

There is nothing wrong with being "not like other girls" but there is also nothing wrong with "being like the other girls"

[@emm753]

Having grown up in this era of music, I felt like a lot of these songs actually gave women who weren't necessarily interested in taking on "cool" (as I call it) and more involved in other interests and life problems (because not everyone grows up with just school problems -- family dysfunction and medical issues are a very real things even in teenhood) some room to breathe. Otherwise, I remember the incessant marketing and peer pressure to act or be a certain way that the media portrayed you to be and I just was not interested, even at that age, in playing that game. Does that seem like pick me behavior? I guess, but I genuinely needed something in pop that validated my "I don't give af" attitude towards mainstream ideals at the time to share with my peers so they would at least not lose their minds that I existed without their same insecurities. I'm sure I was bratty and mean at times (who isn't as they figure things out) but these songs did give me a more acceptable "reason" to just live in spaces that uplifted my priorities and people left me mostly alone. It is sad just how unrelenting some people can be about giving you any respect unless they see it in mainstream culture, but I guess that's why it's mainstream.

[@arisolisB]

I really enjoyed this video 😍 Subscribed!

[@gigiloveyeah]

Sk8ter boi is a masterpiece

[@AngeBiampandou]

It's not better than Complicated

[@icantwiththis]

Her best song is damn cold night.

[@DanielOkungbowa]

Amongst the songs you mentioned, Here has to be one of my favourite ones. I’m so glad it was her breakout hit, it’s such a well written song! Very relatable as well

[@BirdHouseBirdy1]

Girl Next Door by Saving Jane is one of my favorites.

[@strawberrylime33]

Tiktok always seems to be complaining about something. You're totally right, a lot of these songs were written by teens, and while some lyrics are problematic, i think tiktok is taking it too far by bashing these songs. I keep seeing people overanalyze how 2000s music treats women terribly. Yet, i see far less people analyze the misogynistic and violence in 2000s rap music. And that's worse.

[@jisoosforehead9535]

typa girl by blackpink is def their own pick me song. its kinda funny though cause kpop stans especially armys disected the pinks' feminism and claim that blackpink "sends a bad message to female society while presenting as feminist idols" and they only base it from the lyrics and on how blackpink performs on stage. its weird, rlly. 💀

[@haliee]

no one in the kpop community likes blackpink, it's not just armys. it's hypocritical that they have videos telling people to care about global warming when they spend 99% of their time modelling and flying to different events. blackpink were 4 spoiled rich girls who didn't even get past middle school though, anyone with a brain doesn't believe they care about the planet. yg put 0 effort into making their image coherent

[@levitatingstan6526]

@@haliee lmao, no one overthink that much specially if they’re not fans, most kpop Stans dislike blackpink or ignore them just bc they don’t do typical idol stuff and bc they’re globally successful and well known by the general public, most kpop stans beg for their favs to be ambasssadors of well known brands so kpop fandom is not the best example of caring about social issues☠️☠️ looks like you’re projecting too much and they just have used shared private jets, they’re always spotted at the airports using commercial flies ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

[@levitatingstan6526]

Tbh typa girl is kinda pick me but overall I feel like the song claim being better than everyone rather than just being better than girls, and bp never claimed to be feminist so it’s funny how kpop Stans expect them to be saviors of the conservative culture Korea has

[@massetozacarias5693]

You forgot PCDs Don't Cha Thay song has me on chokehold when i was 5

[@BlueNightfall03]

Great lengthy video… another somewhat unrealized Pick Me anthem is Burning Up by Madonna and how she brazenly states “I’m not the others I’ll do anything”, “I’m not the same, “I have no shame”. But even then I think that song attributes to her drive and ambition on getting what she wants. I believe it has a lot to do with the perspective and angle in how the terms Pick Me, and Not Like The Other Girls are viewed. Truthfully, I think this experience has been had in our lives at some point. In normal everyday life we sometimes seek approval, overachieve, or vie for a hint of affirmation and we sometimes (depending on the circumstance and situation) are persistent until we get it. 🤷🏽‍♂️ Also, Honest I think you should do videos on ranking artists singles throughout the span of their careers, it’d be a great segment from you 🙏🏽

[@MineralTown]

pick me songs are my guilty pleasure, i feel like they always slam. ia though i dont find it that problematic if its just a teen getting out their anger, the unfiltered nature of is what makes it more authentic (not that I think that teen stars now should call people gay or whores ofc lmao). you should make a pick me boy anthems video

[@albertamathurin7084]

Jumping through hoops while riding a roller coaster blind folded 🤣🤣😅😅😅😅🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@caitlingill]

Haven’t watched the video but I feel like Olivia Rodrigo and Paramore will be in here somewhere (I love both so much though)

[@Rubnotienenombre]

You belong with me may be considered a pick me song, but it will forever be my favorite song ever

[@Daroshichka94]

I still remember seeing Pink’s “Stupid Girls” video for the first time, scanning the internalized misogyny + feeling 2nd hand embarrassment with my 8 years old self. Putting down other girls and women is never the way 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@bluefood726]

I hated that Alessia Cara song the first time I heard it. I was like girl go home 😂

[@amberdennis7909]

She wanted to. Her bullied her into going by calling her antisocial. Happens to me all the time.

[@Lissynick]

i like pick me songs of the 2000s lol they were my gospel during my emo days

[@dr.praveenshinde5588]

boyyy give us eternal sunshine right now!!

[@leonardofabbri7930]

I've always adored the girls who played the rebel card! Pink of early 00s, Rihanna and Rita Ora in their r'n'b/street days are idols! And obviously a rock girl like Anastacia is! To me they should embrace tomboy style forever! 😬😬😬

[@hikariluanGC]

People still do not understand in what context Pink did what she did. I'm not saying she did it perfectly, she's a human being and made a lot of mistakes, but at the time she was trying to paint girls as smart, strong, bad ass, lovable, etc. It was a time where most of the media, including pop music, wanted submission, sexiness, skinny, etc. artists and was trying to de-humanize and diminish women to sexy icons only. That wasn't a positive thing at all as it is today, it was degrading because it was the pure de-humanization and destruction of womanhood detached from the strength and personhood. It doesn't happen nowadays because our women sexy icons are seen as whole human beings and much more than just "dumb sexy icons" appealing to the male gaze such as it was back in the day. Pink was trying to make an antithesis of that. What people do not understand is that she was trying to humanize other women artists and women in general. She did trespass some thresholds jumping into straight attacking and denigrating other women directly because of her angst against what they meant. At the time, she was the "other one", the "ostracized" woman artist because she portrayed women as whole human beings. That angst came out in the context of how those women and images were punching back against the fight for women to be seen as whole human beings.

[@filipponanni9839]

Hello, as always very precise and thoughtful. I'm curious if you are going to do a review of Eternal Sunshine by Ariana Grande, it would be very interesting to see your point of view.

[@deepshikhashinde9079]

WHERE IS ETERNAL SUNSHINE REVIEW????

[@sherydaunicorn1553]

Make a video on the new ariana era❤ love her

[@vokkagirl]

the first one that comes to mind is "pretty girl" by maggie lindenman

[@PakoVillasana]

How easy to say this whole "pick me" culture exists because of misogyny, feeding the narrative that men hate women when in reality it's 100% women hating women why this culture exists but ya'll never want to hold women accountable, that "nasty girl" song by Destiny's Child would've destroyed a man's career if a man had made it, but since women made it we just pretend it didn't happen.

[@trini2DBone134]

eh not really, misogyny exists because of men hating women. That doesn't mean ONLY men partake in misogyny, but that is still why it exists

[@jaa9228]

i'm coming back to this channel after a while, how did his voice get so much lighter?

[@HarrietTubman638]

OMG ITS SO ANNOYING THAT EVERYONE THINKS 'NASTY GIRL' BY DESTINY'S CHILD IS A PICK ME SONG! ITS NOT🙄. They were making fun of the things that people used to say about them in the early 2000 and the way that they dressed and presented themselves, they didnt believe other girls should be talked about like this, if you knew Destiny's Child you would know, that kind of message goes against everything they stood for

[@yoncab4823]

Jazmine Sullivans last album was FULLLL of this

[@samanthakelly718]

This made me realize I can't help but really like a lot of Pick Me songs. A lot of them are really blunt and right out of the gate, regardless of how right or wrong what they're saying is. How the person feels is how they feel. It's why Speak Now is my favorite Taylor Swift album. Not every song in it has aged well, but it's a time capsule of genuine emotions she was feeling at the time.

[@MyHam-os4bq]

Avril does pickme songs like nobody else. Sometimes I pretend I’m a pickme when I listen to her older albums and it makes me feel like a 7th grade outcast all over again. Total bangers

[@kaseybowser7259]

Waiting on the Eternal Sunshine review

[@donjai9366]

Hi Honest Can we get a Eternal Sunshine review please & a video on George Michael and his impact on the music industry similar to a documentary. 😊

[@Bexinnamon]

Yes to George Michael ❤

[@donjai9366]

@@Bexinnamon IKR (I Know Right) I feel the same way ! 💚😁

[@loxsannbraham8281]

Pick me = Simp/Bata It’s like let ppl be who they are . Being not like the other girls makes you a pick me Being a sexual free & sexy makes you a pick me Being cute hyper feminine makes you a pick me You can’t win

[@user-im7se6mu8r]

Now do the boy version of pick me music. I’ll start, a lot of Justin Timberlake songs.

[@yoncedelrey]

i just pretend nastyy girl was satire bc seriously it's on the same album as bootylicious!!! lol

[@MrAndysixxismine]

it was satire

[@possum1093]

I love p!nk but honestly she makes music that I'd expect rockstar barbie to make still a rock voice but heavily pop as well and has aesthetics from both genres

[@nosyhobbit]

This made me realize how weird it was growing up as a girl in the 2000s. I've never fit into a single box, but growing up it seemed like I was supposed to be more like boys in order for them to like me. So for a long time I was. I'm glad that as an adult people are reckoning with how harmful that was. I appreciate other women doing what makes them happy!

[@freckledandred]

Idk I think pick me songs are important to stay in culture because even if you're a girl's girl, everyone needs to scream at the top of their lungs in their bedroom because that boy won't notice you. True misogyny is the expectation that women aren't ever allowed to feel this way

[@jakeystarsuper]

I disagree. You can make youself noticeable without bring down anyone

[@jakeystarsuper]

I don’t see how anyone can feel good about bringing down someone to get picked that couldn’t be me

[@melancholyminaj3090]

Stream stripped by christina aguilera, back to basics too

[@shyb7847]

Her album bionic was my most streamed album last year. I was very surprised

[@melancholyminaj3090]

@@shyb7847 another great album!

[@luxtina2847]

stripped is my favorite album of all time

[@glasstablegcrls]

stripped was so ahead of its time smh. i love back to basics tho, the shift from being a raunchy assertive girl to being a 50s diva was 🤌🏾

[@Buzz0Killington]

Fighter, Can’t Hold Us Down, Beautiful. Xtina was genuinely ahead of her time and has always been the best kinda feminist.

[@SaraGadalla]

dawg whens the eternal sunshine video coming out

[@sangomoon5456]

*Ashnikko's L8r Boi is a waaaaaaay better version of skater boy. All the same vibes, but without the pick me thirstiness.*

[@florence2720]

you 👏🏻 never 👏🏻 miss 👏🏻

[@TheIgorgc]

To see Avril say this at 3:11 and have watched one of her concerts at the beginning of her career where she did none of that on stage is really rich.

[@somber087]

shes exaggerating just like how everyone exaggerates everything about her like how shes "punk" or an anti britney. Girl knows what shes doing

[@parkerisles7256]

I feel like a lot of the “not like the other girls” situations regarding Pink probably had to do with her not being considered “traditionally attractive” by record executives and teams. She wasn’t considered “pretty” so she was marketed as a gritty rockstar with addiction issues instead of the “you’re a beautiful pristine rolemodel, who’s sexy but still virginal to appease the puritanical, middle America christian families” treatment that Britney and Jessica Simpson went through. That external negative attention probably exacerbated whatever self-esteem issues/internalized misogyny most people had (especially in that time period) in Pink and, as a result, she took it out on other women in the industry (and is 100% responsible for her own actions). I feel like the same could be said for Avril, whom faced sexism while being in a male dominated genre. Avril played into the “I only have male friends/I’m a guy’s girl” delusion because she didn’t want people to discredit her music (which they most certainly did). I actually feel like One of Those Girls is a criticism of “Avril” in Girlfriend whom is actively seeking to destroy someone’s relationship on a whim.

[@stereohype1]

As someone who never gets picked, I felt this

[@Tam...]

I HATED Nasty girl then and now😩 What were they thinking doing that song???😬

[@colourqueen22]

A few years ago there was a discourse on twitter about how Nasty Girl was actually a parody response to the media who were always coming for DC's skimpy outfits. That made more sense to me because those girls were always dressed "nasty". And again, it was on the same album as Bootylicious. I may be wrong idk

[@b_i_a]

I feel like What A Shame by Leyla Blue should definitely be included in this conversation lol

[@LovelyLittleLillies]

Some of y'all are des pe rate to label any song a pick me song just bc that term has been trending in the past 2-3 years when y'all don't even know which songs are even pick me songs. Apart from songs I'm not familiar with, like Nasty Girl, most of the songs you listed are not even pick me songs. Only one song here exudes that energy and that's Taylor's song as everyone knows by now. But Avril and Pink's songs are not that at all... Avril's Skater Boy is about adressing how at that time alt. kids, like the punks of that time, were really outcasted out of society , both in teen years and in adulthood. That's why she contrasts a skater boy with what would've either been an average or popular girl, who checks off all the marks on acceptable behavior and self expression. While S***id Girls by Pink is more of a critique on bimbofication of that time that was on the rise by people like Paris Hilton. It's teaching girls to be so much more than a vapid, superficial, materialistic person. The fact that you even included it in this list it's like you didn't get the lyrics and their meaning and just read them at a surface level. There's nothing wrong for a woman to not want to be pigeonholed into a stereotype anyways, especially when it's a negative stereotype. And while Avril actually batteled with internslized mys*** and that's why she was so anti-pink untill she emraced all that pinkness and girlyness on TBDT, as she adressed herself on a magazine article, her hit songs weren't really about being NLOG, not that I can remember off. Like most of her self expression was about being an outcast or misunderstood. And Girlfriend is more about stealing someone's partner than flexing that NLOG behavior. But it's the closest she's came to a pick me song, I'll give you that

[@shanehinton5154]

lmfao "Jessica Simps" 🤣

[@stsbk]

Because I was an adult when Stupid Girls was released (before “pick me” was a term in the mainstream) I have always viewed Pink as the leader of the INLOG legion. It’s only now that we have a language for it. I personally prefer a song to be from a self critical point of view, as opposed to pointing the finger at others. However, I’m just a man and my opinion is the least important in this particular matter.