The Church Of What's Happening Now:

Tom Segura, Comedian seen on Netflix and heard as the co-host of the "Your Mom's House" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio.
This podcast is brought to you by:
Naturebox.com - Go to Naturebox.com/joey for 50% off of your first order.
Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.
Hellotushy.com - Go to Hellotushy.com/church for 10% off of your order and stop using nasty toilet paper forever!

Recorded live on 11/26/2017.

[@Oden-Heinrich]

I miss these days. Seriously the Golden Era of podcasting.

[@darionz]

It's only been 4 years but feels like 14.

[@nickglttbaow]

2018-2020 (before the zoom calls) was untouchable

[@grega683]

Fuck yeah I love listening to old episodes and hearing gold. Joey still drops knowledge. Couple cool new shows

[@teelorp8306]

That's why we are here ya cock sucka *uncle Joey's cackle laugh*

[@FS-wk3zx]

Once the me too movement caught Joey it was game over. His podcast became a damage control campaign. I have yet to find a podcast that i enjoyed to the level if the classic Church

[@Bak3d42o]

I love seeing the cuts where it shows Lee and he's just a red ball of highness.

[@ViP-jo1lu]

I’m

[@terence5622]

And forgets to turn off his mic while mouth-breathing audibly

[@outsidemayor2098]

james williams 😂😂

[@rubenmeiring3909]

Lee "the astronaut" syatt

[@BirdOfHermes83]

@@alfelix91 has had too much! 🤣🤣🤣

[@josephworkman9628]

Tom's a great listener

[@Thirteen37]

Lol

[@mflugo9082]

That's why Christina kept em.

[@kylegroezinger498]

Yea

[@ParShuffle]

"Joey Diaz Tells Stories".. does Tom need to be there? (listen for the stories, don't get me wrong... ha)

[@presssack]

He's forced to. If you ever seen 2 Bears 1 Cave, you know...

[@JOEYCOOKSTME]

You can tel Joey’s done had 10 stars of death and still holding court like a boss. A true living legend.

[@wowanmaria9591]

Like a SOLDIER!!

[@Irish00]

Like a doctaaaa

[@leetlargo]

1:10:10 lmao omg Joey had me weak with this "What's that Ben Afleck movie where him and 6 jerk offs go to the moon to save the asteroid?" Hahahahaha

[@alexderoche1861]

I was at work listening to this on headphones and started laughing hysterically at that part. I must have looked insane haha

[@thecupnexttome5181]

haha i didnt even catch that he said saved the asteroid el oh el

[@thedarktowercometh9989]

That fooking killed me

[@notimportant5980]

@@alexderoche1861 That happened to me the other day and i had to leave the room I was losing it

[@JaredBall]

I'm fucking dying laughing, some one needs to make a compilation of quotes from Joey with this in it.

[@HighFightIQ]

I love that Uncle Joey is comfortable enough around Tom segura to get so high around him. he starts a story about a friend of his with “let’s say his name is ‘Tommy’” and then starts using the guy’s real name a minute and nine seconds later.

[@SarahCooney-n7e]

Pimmmmx you n xx k.i mmommmomoomomooop Xx me to my name I M ii ii i ii iiiiiii I’m mooo S do. Ii iiiii no I I

[@matheusborgesv]

Nice of you that you counted

[@chriswarner6104]

Nice to hear Tom agreeing with Joey for two and a half hours

[@GonzosSlaps]

"Yeah"

[@wotwot5212]

Church is pretty much only Joey inviting guests and telling them stories for 2 hours, if they try to talk about something themselves he changes the subject back to a coke or kidnapping story within a minute anyways. They just have to roll with him

[@MrWorld-hc5rs]

@@wotwot5212 that's the way we love it.

[@tylerjacobson8012]

EZrider unless you’re dice clay. Then Joey sits back and lets you talk.

[@TehUltimateSnake]

@@wotwot5212 That's hilarious and its so true XD

[@scarpdog8770]

Podcast starts off with the boys chatting about the joys of fatherhood and parenting....around min 14 Joey: “the coke was so good I couldn’t even talk” lmaooooo 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Azurian]

"What language are your thoughts in, Joey?" "Well, 35 years ago..."

[@alexderoche1861]

It was such an easy question and he just didn't get it or care lmao

[@briankump2071]

It was even funnier when Tom clarified it for Joey. Still didn't give a fuck.

[@Stoney-Jacksman]

hahahahahhahah!! fucking Joey man.. love him

[@milesbeler3974]

Oh my god watching Tom's hand's during his sidetrack there!

[@raimundosilva4382]

Ela cria né ela cria quem ela vai criar quando eu me apresentar ela vai apresentar para mim ela vai me apresentar o que ela queria eu vou devolver para ela que ela juízo eu vou devolver para vou devolver tudo para ela tá criando um crime na minhas costas o crime que ela está cometendo juíza devolvo para ela

[@PIMPINICECOLD]

1:25:46 FUNNIEST SHIT EVER !!HIS WHEEZING HAS ME DYING A SLOW DEATH!!!

[@vaguyna69]

Using the wheeze as an instrument of death !!!

[@skrily35p20]

@@vaguyna69LMAO🤣 Tremendous!!!

[@djdavidastbury]

I just came back for this one. It makes me smile so much. It’s a timeless episode. No current affairs. Joey high af. Lee sat there being a socially awkward Jew. I miss simpler times.

[@matheusborgesv]

For me every jew is socially awkward

[@ThinCrustPizza67]

Joey " It was about 1985 In Boulda" Diaz

[@notimportant5980]

He didn't go there until the 90's

[@kevinobryant48]

Delete this gloom it’s been played foolio

[@AdamThoba...]

@@notimportant5980 you ARE important. If your not walking into walls, and sitting 24 hrs looking like a byproduct of failed evolution, and NO MATTER WHAT YOU FEEL, remember we all die one day. Stop wasting time. Wear your favorite clothes, eat junk, do drugs, bark at hot women, tell them their pussies smell like sweat and vaginal spray, or whatever. (Hot women like assholes rem) don't tell a woman she's hot, pretty or cute (ugly men and friend zone men compliment them) hot women need sex, alcohol and to have their hair pulled. Why am I doing this? Because I know you're struggling as am I. also never Google search adam Thoba (don't do it)

[@raimundosilva4382]

Desafio do progresso Isaac computador do Palmeiras tem quantas lá que eu vou para cima uma p*** do progresso fazendo p*** de para cima com a multidão quebrando tudo no meio é o juiz vai ser quebrado que até o juiz se ele tiver mentindo eu vou passarnão tem pressa não tenho o dia inteiro hora tô formando um exército maior do eu tô formando um exército bicho tudo mas sacando tudo

[@raimundosilva4382]

Meu amigo se eu não entendeu se eu estaria junto com você não estaria nas aulas com os professoresfilme quem disse que estou cometendo um crime na minha vida eu não estaria nas aulas junto com você e nem com os professores da sala unidas forçao que eu tenho minhas forças porque eu estou na sala porque que eu estou com você sem vozeu tou investigando tudo casa e tô colhendo os prova de testemunha estou investigando os casos tô colhendo prova procurando testemunha e tão linda as forças mesmo ter formando

[@shawndiggs8304]

"I'm stocked up on nutter butters nigga" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[@deanfitz2959]

Joey: “We’re gonna get racist but we’re gonna get honest” 😂😂😂

[@garbageconnoisseur4185]

i could listen to Joey talk about coke all day

[@russialinko6442]

People like us fans and guys like tom segura, Ryan sickler, josh wolf, redban and Joe all understand that Joey Diaz telling stories is a true treat that very few people will get to experience in person so they take advantage and I love that. ❤️❤️❤️

[@gomezfernando2433]

I swear Joey is the only person who can crack me up just off ads, fucking legend

[@brianbarcus5853]

Lee always has some good comments: 1:26:06 "his mouth was cold, that sounds terrible"

[@hughjanus6975]

My favorite Lee comment ever is "that's one of those fees, those 9/11 fees"

[@Thejayfrancis]

"Alright so back to your question..." *Goes on 30 minute tangent about 9 other things* Gotta love Coco lol

[@longdistancebrothers7326]

Telling Tom he looks like Louis C.K. in the first five minutes, love Tom's reaction.

[@lean.2366]

Lmao Tom losing it during those ad reads got me rolling 🤣🤣🤣

[@donhamilton14]

1:04:53 had me on the floor holding my ribs dying😂😂

[@vehctor8893]

"And the guy who owned the place was a babotz" - Joey Diaz 58:22

[@raoulduke2625]

01:04:50 Sage advice from the Sensei....... “say a prayer 🙏 “

[@JEYMAC]

Tom “Yeah” Segura

[@sacequeensny5311]

"Yeah, yes, ok, right, mmm hmmm" Tom "Fucking YES man" Segura

[@terrymay3620]

So true but he is a legend and watching these two interact is golden

[@mehcsre]

in his defense, I actually do this all the time as well. I do it as a way to let you know I'm paying attention, acknowledging what you're saying. may seem annoying but whaddya gonna do?

[@assassin51000]

Eric Heddy exactly same

[@spacewolf_dan8794]

Lmao he said Yeah right as I read this comment

[@rayanh2430]

im absolutely faded and i always come back to uncle joey to guide me back to comfort and coziness

[@tlh1981]

Alternate titles “Uncle Joey’s Monologue” “Church of Tremendous Ear Beatings” “Tom Segura 3 Hour of Yeahs”

[@amine80kg]

1:25:46 joey was speaking to aliens

[@Mannydamon]

HAHAHA I want that as my alarm clock, Like a docta!

[@eight_hundred_eighteen]

He's saying words, too! And I'm like, "No you didn't tell me." Hilarious

[@chadbraxton7835]

MidnightRunner thank you

[@kommuunrecords_]

Lost it!

[@CZRXCZR]

Your comment = 💀 🤣

[@avargs3505]

1:49:23 this is the kinda stuff that makes Joey special. He brings out everyone's most conformable side.. The side they only show when they really feel comfortable. I have never seen Tom laugh that hard in my life.. That was perfect

[@biditnow8869]

That was gold! Tom is one of the best Church guests.

[@Aelea]

When he laughs so hard he falls back into his chair and can’t talk - wheezing... it’s so contagious. I got tears in my eyes.

[@TehUltimateSnake]

Sounded like my car trying to start this morning

[@Damiansmokeyftp]

Nothing better then listening to Joey Diaz lit asf while my sons asleep aha u make my night g

[@juiicex2]

I miss the church so much 🥺😭😣

[@keepmewierd]

2:24:46 "it's time for comedians to start opening for ufo" lol he meant UFC

[@WonnyJalker]

This podcast was the best podcast ever in history. Not this episode but this podcast. Legendary

[@phoenixrising7047]

Another episode of the Church of What Happened.

[@kronic9005]

"I love u Cocksuckas"- Uncle Joey...And we Love you.

[@YappyRaccoon]

I wonder how bad it stinks in that room with both Joey and that Segura caveman farting out their diarrhea farts for over 2 hours?

[@alexmartens]

"sounds like a good yelp review" omg Lee Syatt with the quips over here, he's like a baked andy richter

[@tomm9402]

I don't care if I'm 3 years late that description is fucking perfect

[@xmikex902x]

Glad Segura could come on and be a proper social worker for Uncle Joey. Just sit back and listen to him talk about himself. Joey’s podcast style is pretty unique in that way

[@o2xb]

were all here for joey man, lets be honest!!!!

[@kxvonnn]

Uncle Joey really said nigga and it sounded so normal 😂😂😂

[@aldoelektrika]

It's easy for any Hispanic to say it, we don't know about the history behind it and it's a fun word to learn in English. I used to say it all the time in high school, never got in trouble for it cause they knew I was saying it like "homie"

[@derekcullin357]

Joey: "I can see myself stopping smoking weed and just eating it any day".... Two years later almost to the day and still smokin strong! Lol 🤣

[@BlazRa]

I kind of hate people that stop weed

[@BlazRa]

@Austin Batton no I can stop but there's no need

[@Anus88]

@@BlazRa dude you are addicted. Just use some clonazepam in case the withdrawals are getting to harsh when u stop smoking that satan‘s plant

[@Pineapplesthattalk]

@@BlazRa says the addict

[@BlazRa]

@@Pineapplesthattalk whatever dude weeds good for you it kills cancer cells and has several other health benefits I've been to jail before I didn't cry because I didn't have weed in there it's not addictive

[@jeffersota]

Tom asks good questions, he brings the interesting stories out of Joey

[@robbieedmonds1195]

@ 1:10:10 "What's that movie where Ben Affleck and his six jerkoffs go to the moon to save the asteroid?..." Tremendous...

[@lateblume4208]

I spit up my drink listening to that line. One of the funniest things I’ve ever heard and no one laughed

[@ihategarydiamond]

I love how Joey starts a sentence and just goes wild on the water. Quite the sound.

[@ballzzd33p29]

1:54:52 Joey Drinking water hard af!

[@paulpatterson-o1e]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂TY

[@speakFILM.]

This was a great episode. Need Tom to come back. And Joey hit the right level of high

[@brimstonethewolf2020]

1:31:28 Joey has a way about telling story’s that makes you feel like you’re right there. Tremendous.

[@Daniel-ke1bn]

8:40 you can hear someone's stomach growling hahaha

[@alice..charli2171]

🤣🤣🤣

[@jimmyjump8335]

Gotta be unc

[@matheusborgesv]

It was a fucking fart

[@TheTanyabrooks]

Love listening to Uncle Joey! 🙌🏿🙌🏿

[@ezra2662]

Anyone notice that the guest becomes the host and Joey D. becomes the guest? Not complaining, just a point of fact.

[@PuertoRicanStanley]

It's gotta be hard for them when they go onto each others podcasts. I remember one of the times Joe Rogan was on he had to apologize to Lee because he kept giving him orders like he was his guy jaime that works his Podcast The Joe Rogan Expirence.

[@Subasschin]

The first 4 minutes made me come back to this video over & over again

[@braedendavis8972]

"We would listen to too short and eat nutter butters"😂😂

[@jeffersota]

God, Joey brings out raw Segura. He's a man of many opinions but not as much pure life experience. He knows it and just plays to his strengths. True craftsmen

[@mfinn27]

Tom Segura’s laugh is so contagious. 😂😂😂😂

[@willcarter6204]

The best opening of a podcast ever. The tushy bidet ad read is a classic

[@Mikemikemike131]

The first 3 seconds of the podcast really set the tone for how great it was gonna be

[@WhiteBoardFinance]

2 Legends right here

[@lolsloppy]

3*

[@CZRXCZR]

The homosexual ice cube fellatio story @ 1:25:41 🤣💀

[@blairsmith3199]

That is the best intro/ad ever. In any media

[@leetlargo]

2:19:27 Joey got me again lmao "There was a building there that was decapitated." Hahahahaha!

[@thomasandersen2534]

🤣

[@bennyg9782]

'Whats the movie with Ben Afleck, with him and the six jerk orfs that go to the moon to save the asteroid' ? - Joey Diaz

[@EGoltz]

Ben G how he describes every Affleck movie or space movie.

[@MarcoVAZ1991]

I wish all advertisement on TV was made by joey, I would watch them all

[@nickcote1075]

Marco there are ads on mafia 3 radio that are hilirais

[@DS_mcBong]

"Can you smell my feet?" Hahahah I'm dyin

[@brianjohnstone2922]

joeys really stoned to the gills on this one,love it

[@Josh-ks4lx]

I often find myself forgetting Lee syatt is even there until I hear his heavy breathing or he giggles about something lmfao

[@eliottfrost5224]

I didn't know Joey used to do coke

[@dmc3079]

news to me

[@KU-mq4er]

How 😂

[@hajihajihaji69]

Longest yard? Is that a song?

[@SebTheKilla]

i hope you guys are joking

[@xmikex902x]

Heard he was also in Spider-Man 2. Not sure, can someone confirm?

[@freshprinceofcharlotte]

I died with just the tushy ad 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@xrmighty]

"He was half a momo" still clueless on what it means but I fuckin love it lmao

[@BlazRa]

It's like another way to say retard

[@BlazRa]

It's literally the sound you can picture a retard making just walking around stumbling into things going Momo Momo Momo

[@dallassunderland]

used to listen to TCOWHN at work where i met my ex gf. awesome times, miss it everyday.

[@swettyspaghtti]

Take a bong hit/drink every-time Joey says "TREMENDOUS"

[@Anus88]

*line of yayo

[@zachprofitPSF]

When CoCo calls Santa a cacksucka a 1:46 into the show you know it’s going to be a tremendous progrum.

[@YuriTardid]

"You're like Johnny Netflix"

[@AMskater1021]

imagine the sound of lee, tom and bert all laughing and trying to talk at the same time

[@AAAAAAH80]

19:44 Joey the goat coco diaz in a nutshell

[@ayeejaayy5848]

This was golden age prime Joey Diaz, nothing beats the Church back in the day.

[@angelogrosso7904]

Tom laughing in the introductions was killing me

[@Exclusivevipsports]

Never laughed so hard from a hello tushi ad. 😂

[@Coleman_H]

1:54:48 SAVAGE water bottle swig from Joey 'Coco' Diaz 🚰💧💦🌊

[@Lucieyk]

He looked like fucking Peter Pettigrew with that paw sticking out about to turn into a rat.

[@zackbrown5717]

Lol Joey got tears coming out of my eyes thinking about my daughter and I!!! S/0 all the dads !!

[@JamesExcell-InterJex]

Best Bidet advertisement ever

[@veniljackson47]

Some time I drop in just for the Hello Tushy ad from Uncle Joey that jawn kills me every time and Tom just cant contain his laughter does it

[@SebTheKilla]

Dj Dad mouth in the house. F thee haters, F ALL the haters.

[@yoitsdan]

Diaz barbecued out of his mind is an amazing thing

[@Uncseedy]

1:22:58 The deep wheeze cough is TREMENDOUS 😂❤

[@SystemofaDowns]

Tremanaaaa

[@tainotribes6937]

Joey diaz got the craziest stories for days i love listenig to his gansta stories

[@armandotorres-iy1cw]

Joey "what were we talking about" Diaz

[@josephst.george7841]

I feel like that part where the audio temporarily cuts out is what showed me how baked Joey is

[@CA-wx8cd]

Joey stop drinking into the mic. It sounds like the hoover dam let loose.

[@DarylRandy-s6c]

That hit me hard, parents are heros!

[@youiloves1242]

2:42:06 omg yes!! Love Joey Dias

[@beniswow]

"The Longest Yard" is so much more enjoyable after hearing Joey's prison stories.

[@zeferino596]

52:25

[@salar7735]

"I don't want you driving at 1am, unless its jesus talking" Joey Diaz.... I can't tell you how much I love these little nuggets of gold . Honestly I should follow this advice

[@aedanliggett4393]

I like how you can hear joeys stomach in full fucking detail at 8:41

[@peteywheatstraw7670]

February 1998 Buffalo Funnybone (actually in Amherst) my first open mic. As Joey would say..... I ate a bag of death for 3 minutes. 🤣🤣🤣

[@JTD2001]

2:38:00 Lee died inside with that ‘yeah’

[@ali96751]

Commercials at the end are my new favourite thing on internet. Tremendous

[@scottschiess1440]

Im laughing so hard watching tom's hand in the bottom left corner lol

[@raymondmoses6933]

Uncle Joey is the only podcaster that seems to be loved by everyone it’s hard to find a negative comment on a video he’s in

[@scruffybasterd2209]

Joey took 13 benadryl and smoked a bunch of weed.

[@dirkbowman946]

Scruffy Basterd the sex will be worth it !

[@codyg6514]

Just a warning to anybody reading this.. NEVER ABUSE BENADRYL OR ANY OTHER OTC MEDICATION! The "high" isn't worth it, you'll just fuck up your health.. If you really feel the need to get high go smoke a joint or drink a beer.

[@jonsnpthere82]

Cody Green's jeans are low and loose. Have some moose soup. Get a Terminator gun. Fuck off.

[@codyg6514]

You throw these quotes from Your mom's house podcast at me as if I'm saying something bad about Tom or his podcast..I don't understand, all I did was tell people not to abuse Benadryl. Lol.

[@robbielaforte5571]

Mr. Meatballs that is not true, over 200mg depending on your tolerance of course, will start to give a deliriant like effect which is from what I have heard, are some of the worst drugs around.

[@eddunne4190]

The stories are incredible