The Dating World Is A Disaster

[@palody_en-ja]

"Single" is quantifiable, objective. "Lonely" is an emotion, subjective. You can be both, either, or neither.

[@Kittenlover113355]

Yup. Tons of women are single and very happy

[@garaktartv3647]

Exactly. Solo and never really felt lonely about it.

[@Josh102697315]

The only intelligent thought in this comment section.

[@coryhouse2922]

Connor a real one for being vulnerable with his experiences without the need to crack jokes

[@pabulumm]

Yeah he wasn't entertaining Joey's cracks at the subject matter. I was impressed by that, but Joey? Not so much... :/ And I like Joey. Maybe he was uncomfortable? idk

[@theshanamaster]

weird how this topic is starting to seep outwards into podcasts now, hate how the dating game has been but holy, its making bigger waves than i thought it would

[@7shinta7]

Very true! I literally rolled my eyes at some of the responses of Joey and sometimes Grant, too. They're both in relationships, why do they partly talk about the topic like a bunch of 12 year olds? They're better than that.

[@elvisvasquez7553]

​@@theshanamaster It's because it's bigger and more important than people like to admit. Hell, relationships are at the core of society.

[@elvisvasquez7553]

​@@7shinta7 Oh, no, no, no, no. Only good people get in relationships. You got them wrong 😂

[@kobolding7260]

I think alot of people think they want to date but they actually want a community and meaningful human connection seperated from sex and romantic love. If you take time to think about it you realize what you want is a friend first

[@Exel3nce]

Mh nah

[@CloudWalkBeta]

Yeah i just want some one who makes my home worth coming home to, but what iv experienced are girls i want to run away from. Girls i would be embarrassed to walk down the street with… I talk a lot about us being products of our environment, and our environment is producing these monsters who worship money and appearances and their labels, over character, over anything meaningful, over health… And i say your are the result of your habits, what you do defines the results you get, so have some good habbits and you’ll get better results in life, a lot of the lost cause kinds of people,,,, dont want to hear it, yet they know what they are doing is ruining their lives.

[@aim-for-greatn3z947]

Not if you're a man in general 😂

[@ren96706]

Respectfully no, most of us want that intimacy that comes from being more than friends

[@_Lumiere_]

​@aim-for-greatn3z947 yeah, I feel like this sentiment is more relevant for women since sex and romantic love is relatively easy for them to come by, while friendship and community might be harder. Men have to work much, much more to get sex and love, so I think that men are genuinely interested in that when they are dating.

[@MegalordMarcus]

Love & Lust are two seperate things. Anyone who conflates the two will never have any real dating success, full stop

[@leviticuscornwall9631]

Yeah. We all have that one friend who meets their partners through clubbing and what not then wonder why hardly any of them are loyal

[@JustAPokemonCommentingOnVideos]

this is what denji from chainsaw man realized lol

[@noname-te2gx]

u could have just used .

[@royalfun1031]

​@@noname-te2gxher

[@jalajgoswami1757]

i dont understnd if youre in love you can have lust for them too right? i mean its natural? id say those who make lust love are gonna fail

[@Kaeldra3]

I’m 24 and single-never-dated-never-kissed and I have no clue how to even go about dating. Growing up I focused on studying and getting a job and now I’m there and have no clue how to enter the dating scene… like I know logically I need to download an app soon but the thought terrifies me… I guess I’m just commenting because sometimes it’s nice to read comments on these sort of videos and see other people in the same part of their life just so you don’t feel so behind. Rooting for everyone to feel less alone.

[@fanban2926]

You don't need to download anything, it's alright.

[@seiwarriors]

Honestly just join clubs or volunteering. Anything that will get you to meet the other gender.

[@EOMMunaware]

@@seiwarriorsnot clubs that’s the worst advice. You are setting him for future headache

[@elseggs6504]

​@@EOMMunaware And Datingapps arent? Their design will crush your sense of self-worth to a bloody pulp. The idea of clubs is that you get to know more people who have stuff in common with you and see who might be interesting, not asking anything with two legs if they wanna spread em lol

[@TheMallachiv]

I recommend you get some hobbies, join a sports team, take classes. Try to learn to interact with people with no goal in mind until almost all interaction feels second nature. Practice playful flirting, get used to hearing no , don’t let it deter you. Rinse,repeat. Meet people in places where you both have a mutual interest or ask them what theirs are so you can see if y’all are compatible. Worst case nothing changes and you’ll be fine regardless and best case you find someone you enjoy being around romantic or not.

[@Jacqli-Rivoli]

I just want a meaningful connection. It doesn't have to be romantic or sexual. I just want someone in my life I can rely on.

[@ashimsy]

@jaumartinez9006 banks : business booming

[@snoopythegrape1747]

@jaumartinez9006so you define friends as atms? I’d hate to be your friend if all you wanted was my money.

[@ownlydown5933]

​@jaumartinez9006duh heck dude? Lol. Cmon bruh, when it comes to bills especially nowadays. Everything should be split at least right down the middle.

[@ren96706]

⁠@@ownlydown5933 i aint splitting the bills with someone 😂 whats next splitting my rent, utility and car bills 🤦‍♂️

[@abigailinkorea]

Yes. I feel like this is lacking from online dating which is why it feels so soul crushing to use. When I make connections offline I feel so fulfilled and lucky and human, which is never an emotion I've had from online dating.

[@manaka-chan8907]

I’m a 19, nearly 20yr old girl. Never had a bf, first kiss etc. but I’m pretty content with myself honestly and focusing on me. The amount of pressure ppl get for “losing their virginity” is ridiculous and should be 1) a choice thing and 2) shouldn’t be anyone else’s business tbh

[@pridefulworm]

You are right about the pressure and that someone should do it when they are ready, but don't allow that thought to be an excuse to put off a good opportunity for you. I remember when I (omg I'm sounding old now lol) was your age I was going through thr same thing as you and you are totally correct but don't be Inert about something you want, if you feel like a relationship is something you need one day then work towards it. Sorry if this unsolicited advice was presumptuous but I remember being so stressed out about that stuff 😅

[@WorldStyleEgo]

I eventually succumbed to the pressure and lost my virginity at 22. I regret it completely cuz I didn’t even like the girl. Anyway, I’m pretty content with being alone now. Saving money, working out, pursuing my goals, etc. I want a wife and kids some day, but that probably won’t happen for at least another 10 years.

[@khena6784]

​@@serafausit's something I'm personally looking for, agree.

[@davidisliberal2973]

Society ☕️

[@Eliza-ir2ns]

Yep, I’m the same and 23. I feel fine with my own company and don’t feel the need for anything more right now. Everyone should just go at their own pace and do what feels right❤

[@kaitlynzamora9412]

When garnt said "it's only when you're in a bad relationship do you realize how good a good relationship is" I felt that

[@-Clarence-]

Naw a good relationship is what you see in anime

[@ガンコ]

yeah for real, my first relationship I was just fish out of water, after having a few I started understanding what a good relationship looks like

[@TheEggIsHere]

I absolutely love seeing men have open and honest conversations and real freundships. They never bitch about their partners or turn their life stages into a competition and they all just come across really respectable

[@kineko7823]

Yeah, let’s make our gender roles worse by manifesting them in that way and pointing things out that HAVE to do with the gender. Men bitch around as well, a lot. It’s not about gender, it’s about your integrity.

[@sreenivas6071]

Too bad women can never be that way even if they tried

[@randomassname_]

​@@sreenivas6071what in the incel shit is this 💀

[@azevedo1046]

I'm 24, never dated, had a girlfriend, never did anything beyond a hug 5 years ago. And although I always thought about having a girlfriend, I'm starting to accept being single for the rest of my life. Focusing on myself, the things that I like and enjoy. Some of the reasons are myself, some others are because as you said it, the current dating world is completely messed up.

[@markaleksanian3628]

kinda sad that people give up so easily and just blame the "dating scene"

[@azevedo1046]

@@markaleksanian3628 I hadn't gave up. Just accepting the worst scenario, thats all

[@reggie1847]

@@markaleksanian3628 Not giving up means wasting money on "dates" that don't amount to anything that's like you putting a down payment on a car but you don't get the fucking car.

[@Joe-lr9ou]

Self love might sound like a good thing, but humans are social creatures. I'm in a similar boat, and it took me until last year to realize that I hate accepting my single status, and I hate focusing on myself. I've been doing that all my life, I just want something different at this point.

[@lukek4073]

24 is still extremely young. You'll be fine.

[@Jay0Do]

I met my wife on my first day downloading my first dating app (bumble). She was my second match, deleted the app 2 weeks later, never looked back. That was 6 years ago. So I definitely feel blessed. (She had been using apps for a bit over 2 years)

[@adandyguyinspace5783]

As a sorcerer I would like to know what magick you used to accomplish that lol. You’re like the 0.01% of dudes that had that happen. Congrats you might be struck by lightning next haha. -Edit as of July 14th 2023: Yes I’m an actual sorcerer (in training), I’m a also a demonolator. My main expertise is dark magick but I also am learning protective magick.

[@lightworker2956]

The vast, vast, vast majority of men can't just go on bumble, have a woman message them and find a good wife that way. You're probably handsome, or charismatic, or were just incredibly lucky. Good for you, I guess, but to most men I would advise staying far away from dating apps. They will just crush your confidence if you don't have good looks.

[@adandyguyinspace5783]

@@lightworker2956 In my experience online dating is terrible. A lot of women go on those to fish for social media followers and/or to get validation. I've been deceived, ghosted, and LIED to about ghosting (she said she would never do it and agreed its a thing only cowards do). And by deceived I mean a woman who's extremely into me and discloses things you would only share with a close friend, sometimes the conversation was strongly sexual on her end. Then you feel on top of the world because you THINK you found, finally, a woman with good ethics and is mentally and sexually compatible with you and is just as into you as you are to her, but nope. Next comes some bs story about how she cant continue or some fake sob story about how she doesn’t deserve me. I’ve sent women creative messages that made me stand out, even more so if they had everything in common with me. But nope, people don’t like to have notifications turned on, are too picky, don’t take things seriously (even though they say they’re looking for a serious relationship), I can go on and on but in short: the dating pool is a$$, it’s even worse online. That guy above, allegedly, struck the lottery with a woman who has respect and was truly looking for someone and more than willing to put the work in. And day 1 of being on a dating app no less. Either he’s literally the gigachad OR he spent a lot on premium, or both. That is, if this DID happen. I have never done anything wrong to these people it’s just that people in general suck and don’t have good ethics and don’t care about how they treat others. Oh one more story: I met a transwoman who was an absolute knockout, thicc, and seemed to be mentally emotionally mature, but all of that went out the window when she demanded we go on a date during the peak of COVID and instead of accepting the fact I couldn’t and saying my idea of a virtual date was, iirc, something that high schoolers do, she chose to be illogical and immature. I then gave her a lecture about her attitude. Relationships, especially committed relationships that end up in marriage, REQUIRE sacrifice and compromise, it can’t and won’t be all about you, and I honestly think that notion doesn’t sit well with a lot of people which is why people want to date casually, they want all the fun and excitement and romantic feelings of a relationship, but not the hard work, compromise, and much more that comes with it.

[@WorldStyleEgo]

@@adandyguyinspace5783The amount of times I’ve matched with a girl, only for her to send me a link for her OnlyFans is INSANE. One time, a girl pitched her “rent-a-girlfriend” service to me, so basically guys would pay her to show up to dates, then pay for the date itself, and she would pretend to be his gf until the date is over. It was such a pathetically sad concept, but that’s where modern dating is rn. Dating apps are a joke now. Tons of egomaniacs on there.

[@clueless7822]

​@@adandyguyinspace5783I think you're 20-smth, right? You can't just demand ppl to be serious with you from the get-go, they first have to find out who you are before you can even talk about being serious with one another. I think people dislike how intense you are with your relationship. Many people might be ghosting you bc they saw red flags in the text messages and just noped out. I mean, you said that ghosting was "what cowards would do", personally, if I saw anybody say that that would be a red flag to me. "who knows what that guy might think of if I do this or that" that is how I would think of it. It puts unnecessary tension in a relationship. In general, ppl don't really like a judgemental person. And you know, throwing shade on smb that you just met isn't a good look either, so if you do that regularly you might want to change that to have more success in a relationship.

[@oluseyialege]

I didn’t start dating until university , due to my parents. But pretty quickly after I realized I actually just want more quality friendships

[@somewhereatvinland]

Quality friendships > partner

[@luka3174]

Just started university and have realized how hard it is to make real friends. Pretty easy to socialize and meet people, but cultivating relationships is hard.

[@Berdox_]

During my uni days the best way I found to make friends was to join clubs that you like and meet people with the same interest as you. For example at my uni there was a club called the geek club where we would meet up and play board games, video games, card games, magic the gather, mostly anything to do with geeks. I meet a lot of people and made friends with people who were also interest in the things I was.

[@Butane9000]

I'm 35 and getting to a point where I want to find someone but see the modern dating landscape and it just kills it for me. Due to my families financial situation I put relationships off growing up and my early adulthood and it's really hurting now.

[@CloudWalkBeta]

35 too, and i can say just stacking cash after awhile became meh, i want a home worth coming home to, and people in that home i can enjoy seeing and spending time with… If i have to ill get a lads home, we’ll build our own mini gym, id love a decent sized kitchen and a game/theatre room, because honestly a home of bro’s sounds like the closest ill get to a family at this point. Thats the only way forward i see to dealing with our problem today.

[@julesloveless]

Turning 35. Same. All logical sense points to not get married and have children. Financially it doesn't make sense. It will only be hard work for very little recompense, also all the unknown factors that come from getting two lives together. My heart can't take it.

[@PawSmalls]

Heyyyy. That's exactly me! Only I'm 33. And I think the dating landscape is hard, but I'm not engaging in it anyway, so I don't really feel like I have a right to complain. I'm just one fap away to feeling "content" at this point.

[@HackersSun]

Turning 32 in 2 months and the same lol I still think its 2012 and I'm 21 again 😂 I just want to have a person to talk to, not gamify people by looks via Tinder 😅 My entire friend group, me included, needs a heckin optimistic person to lift us out of our own head xD

[@lilgrannyari]

I'm 34 and relate. I was so focused on school and building my career, and my Asian mom, who now says I'm close to my expiration date and worries that I'll be alone when she dies, was always pushing me to put my career first. The pandemic really fucked things up as well because I haven't dated since 2019. I've got a house, a car, and an amazing job...but no one to share it with. An empty life.

[@neisanland2503]

dating is becoming more like a job interview, and marriage is more like a heist.

[@Archmage9885]

For men. For women dating is getting free meals, and marriage is like winning the lottery.

[@neisanland2503]

@@Archmage9885 lol true

[@revivedsoul1099]

Yup lol, and you dont even know if the job is good lol

[@-Clarence-]

@@revivedsoul1099 yeah bj

[@kineko7823]

@@Archmage9885 You are describing toxic relationships. Besides, domestic abuse especially for women is still a problem nowadays. Need for marriage changes. Our view should change as well. But it doesn’t. That’s the problem. Then it becomes really negative for both parties. The problem is more about honesty and integrity. If you don’t want to give free meals, then don’t. You don’t have to go out for dinner and pay. You don’t have to go to dinner at all. Just go for a walk and talk. Cheap and more private. You have so many possibilities and options to get to know someone, it doesn’t have to be the normal way. I never went out on a dinner with my partner before we were seriously dating and then we went Dutch or the other one paid for something else.

[@djkonae]

Need a community for young people. Something outside of work and school. A way for young people to interact with their peers. Online dating has been a disaster for the human race

[@almalone3282]

Those places exist it's just that cold approaches have been socially stigmatized for the last 20 years

[@yo-no9879]

"The first rule of fight club is to never talk about fight club" ;)

[@abelerculano7565]

Those are usually clubs as far as I know, but they’ve never been my vibe lmao.

[@akiraraiku]

Honestly now that i am out of Uni, where the heck did all the people in my age group disappear to ? I don't find them anywhere !

[@almalone3282]

@@akiraraiku Stuck at work

[@MoonlitXMoth]

1000x better than most dating podcasts. All the p2w apps and services, blurred lines, and juggling your own personal goals makes the whole thing a real ordeal. Taking a break myself, but one day I should feel more confident to get out there again.

[@revivedsoul1099]

Trash Taste is great, but better than dating podscast based of a small vid lol. I think you just been around bad podcasts bro. There is good ones, who teach you how to properly date and get a good stable relationship. Dating world be lame tho tbh, but there is ways to make it easier for a person.

[@JustSomeGuyWithRedLens]

They are not better than dating podcasts / red pill aware ones respectfully, it not their niche

[@gleipnirrr]

​@@JustSomeGuyWithRedLensif you are looking for dating advice on red pill aware shit, you're getting taken for a ride.

[@JustSomeGuyWithRedLens]

@@gleipnirrr no my friend, i just acknowledge the uncomfortable truths about dating / life now and adapt

[@chiga3388]

Yeah lol sure thing buddy

[@pax6833]

I'm almost 32. Never dated. Never had a girlfriend. Only ever kissed a girl once. Idk. I don't obsess over it, I don't let it ruin my life, I don't think I'm entitled to anything, and I know it's 100% my fault for being mostly a shut in, but it does still hurt being lonely and it feels like dating has only ever gotten less accessible over time despite actually having a job and money to do it. Sometimes I kind of wish I was a girl because then dating wouldn't be as discouraging. I want to actively be wanted. But unfortunately society socializes us to view men pursuing women as normal and women pursuing men as abnormal.

[@ty-xq7bl]

cope, not chad

[@aps7637]

I totally understand someone finding a date out of desperation, internet has now deluded us to find a perfect partner have a perfect life. But in all this rush we forget to slow down take a breath and talk to someone even if it's not worth much. To have a look at yourself you have to first find the mirror that's looking at you.

[@meganwalters171]

I think what i hate about dating now the most is when you think you have a connection with someone, but then they ghost you the next day. Its happened to me twice

[@burnoutvista]

there were so many times when I really get on well with a girl I met online, we chat the whole night, then 2 days later she ghosts me. it happened so many times, it kind of breaks you

[@meganwalters171]

What's worse is you never see it coming, and it is always out of nowhere either. Snice, it seems like everything is fine, and then blam nothing

[@meganwalters171]

@m780dff thanks I appreciate the advice. I forgot to mention that I'd did meet through the app, but I also did meet both of them in person. Like I did have physical dates with both of them. The 1st is definitely for the best cause he was way too horny for his own good. What sucked with him was the fact we planned another date out, talked it out, and everything and two days before it. He just stopped completely talking to me. And as for the other guy, everything seemed like it was going alright. we had a few dates, and everything was fine. Then I was messaging him to see how he was doing, but they were never read. He didn't think much snice he might be busy with work, but it went on for weeks. And how he found out he truly ghosted was that he unfriended me on Facebook. Everyone says you should go out and meet, but that can be a slippy slope in itself. Also, I work so much by the time off. I literally dont want to do anything. It sucks man

[@cassu6]

Yeah don't waste time on chatting with women online. Those rarely work out and you'll rarely have an actual connection.

[@meganwalters171]

@cassu6 I'm a girl actually, but the same message applies so thanks

[@ROSPoetry1]

I'm glad I found my wife online in 2017. All the dating stories I've heard from coworkers and tiktok seem absolutely insane. Hurt people running around hurting other people. No one knows how to communicate or talk to anyone anymore.

[@paragonofprogress]

I JUST WANT TO SAY. One time out of curiosity I went on one of those redpill/lookmaxing forums... and there was a post about Garnt with dudes complaining and asking how he could have landed such an attractive partner. I think about that sometimes and laugh. Those guys have no idea how Garnt is at least from my perspective actually an awesome dude with great qualities. He deserves all of his achievements. A testament of good character.

[@Jepze158]

I mean it is rare to see asian guy(especially SEA asian) with a white girl.

[@alskarmode]

It’s because those communities are just filled with insecure, bitter incels. Of course they would say that

[@deusex9731]

Garnt is an attractive guy (even minus all the other qualities) so i think these people just have insanely skewed views of attractiveness. Also maybe a sprinkle of racism in there

[@swagguy7515]

i think “least attractive” men in the west are from southeast asia, east asia, and india we get fucked in the dating world, and not in a good way

[@cassu6]

@@deusex9731 I can't say that I agree with him being attractive. He's pretty average. Still seemingly a great dude.

[@AGamingGuitarist]

I didn't start dating until I was 26 (now 30). Since then I've dated a grand total of 2 people. The last relationship which ended in 2020 left me so burnt out that I haven't bothered to try again. I'm currently fine being single, but I do get the urge to try again sometimes, and I think over the next year I will give it another shot.

[@dragon-kun199]

im wondering how do people at your age ask people out it is like at a work place where you ask out someone you're already good friends with or do you try via dating apps as a 20 year old im curious on how the dating landscape changes as you age as someone who Loves a good Connection just dating for the sake of 'trying out' is pretty alien to me so im curious on how you choose and find your partners

[@EOMMunaware]

@@dragon-kun199Tbh man you just be yourself. And keep eye contact. If there’s an attraction you will both feel it and you gotta make a decision.

[@AGamingGuitarist]

@@dragon-kun199 This is just my limited personal experience which is maybe not the best thing to rely on but I'll explain. The 2 people that I did date, I worked with them. You hear it a million times but I will add to that as well. Do NOT date people you work with. Especially the kind of workplace that I was at, where our pool of employees was about 15 people total. When you are in that "honeymoon" phase it is very nice, but when something inevitably goes wrong, and it will. You do not want to be around that person at work. After my 2nd attempt, I did briefly try to go on a dating app. I matched/talked with a few people, and I started talking to one person outside of the app, although we never met in person. Although I don't really like this dating app culture we are currently in, I think I will try that again when I do try. Part of the reason I want "try it out" again really has to do with my age. I think I would like to start a family before I get too old. And to answer the last bit, my first partner actually asked me if I wanted to grab some food after work, and that led to a relationship. My 2nd partner, we worked late nights together all the time for a few months, and at one point we were having a conversation after work and I straight up told her that I liked her, and things played out from there. That was roughly 3 months after we met, so plenty of time to build a connection there. The common things shared between my partners were that our personalities played off of each other really well, also shared a similar sense of humor. I ended up falling in love with my 2nd partner and was crushed when it ended. It's a long story but work played a huge part in ruining it. I spent a good majority of my teens/early 20s thinking I was a loser, and not good enough for anyone. There are people out there that like you, and find you attractive. I know it's cliché, but you gotta just take a chance, you really don't know until you try. Even though my relationships did not work out, they taught me a lot about the dating landscape, and more importantly, about myself. A lot of personal growth was accomplished.

[@Mr.man712]

It's honestly very strange that the only 2 relationships ive had are online ones that formed from a friendship in a random place and they still are the best memories I have to this day compared to irl dating with zero connection and a "my way or the highway, walk on egg shells" kinda vibe majority of the time.

[@KingEgyptian]

We would all love to be in a meaningful relationship and start a family, but the problem is that's incredibly difficult now. A lot of it has to do with social media, unrealistic expectations, and huge risks of ruining your life from a divorce. It's no wonder many people are single because they don't want to take such a gamble.

[@longislandicedtea6323]

And the fact that narcissism is becoming more rampant nowadays, why risk being with someone who at best, treats you like a prop and a piggy bank, and at worst actively ruin your life and ultimately toss you aside like 2 week old leftovers when they got what they wanted.

[@Auricerise]

It sucks trying to meet people near your age and form a genuine connection in general when you're a working professional too. :( I personally don't find hookups to be appealing to me at the same time too, I need a lot of time to get to know someone before I'd consider dating. However, I'm still fine with being single though haha.

[@j-1698]

That's exactly why I don't like dating apps. I don't want to date strangers until I find someone who doesn't suck, I want to really like someone and then date them.

[@leeroyjenkins867]

same here. Once you're a working professional, its 1000% harder to find a partner

[@fromthedaylight7]

I think we're in a point where we're so entertained and stimulated that caring about someone else becomes a chore at some point when you start dating. Also let's talk about the unrealistic expectations that keep growing. Comparing to the past when finding a partner was less complicated.

[@lifeline_]

I don't necessarily agree that it is a chore, but I understand why it can feel that way. I personally like having someone to care about and put my attention into, but the problem is having people who take advantage of that, knownly or not. It is a lack of reciprocation as people today try to get the most from their relationships while giving the least. As for unrealistic expectations, yeah, but what can we expect. In the past everyone was FORCED to be in relationships to survive and have a decent life. Now people get so used to trying to find meaning and such on their own that trying to find, and then accept someone else into their life would seem like too much trouble if they aren't bringing in a lot.

[@Jaqrkazi]

@@lifeline_ I think the lack of reciprocation hits the nail on the head. A lot of people go into relationships these days with one sided goals and don't take their partners feelings into consideration except in the most superficial of ways. That and I feel so many people lack self awareness or a true understanding of themselves that having to understand and make compromises for a completely different person just seems like an impossible task.

[@atypicaloddity]

I've gotta say, OkCupid's Q&A style matching system worked well for me. Being able to filter out your dealbreakers right from the start went a long way towards making the actual dating part enjoyable and valuable. And the girl i matched with just gave birth to our second child, so I'd consider my experience successful

[@lightworker2956]

Internet dating used to be a lot easier. Nowadays it only works for men with good looks, or some other positive trait that is immediately visible (proof of a lot of money or similar). I wouldn't advise the average man to use internet dating in 2023.

[@Meimoons]

Did you marry her?

[@atypicaloddity]

@@Meimoons yup

[@Exel3nce]

​@@Meimoonswhat does it Matter

[@babyboijeremy]

​@@m780dffHumans adapt through expierence. Imagine this, your a guy so you play that role. You go on 15 dates with 5 different girls. Sometimes theres more than one date, but certain things are true for all of those dates. You made time for them, you planned the date, you covered the tab. And none of them worked out. You consider yourself a decent human your not being a prick, just being yourself. If you dont have an iron will eventually youll start to examine yourself and look for solutions. After you've finished your gym regime and it still fails. You look at others and you begin to see certain things in common. No the traits arent mystical, however they are obvious.

[@Drujd]

I think single & lonely just means partner-less. A good number probably still call themselves "single" even though they're "seeing" someone, especially before they sit down with the other person to define what the relationship is. Or as you guys said, you don't have to be in a relationship, it could just be to narrow down the question to specifically who is unhappy with their relationship status.

[@Heartless8604]

As a mid 30's single man, I can assure you dating now is the single worst thing in life. It's essentially speedrunning suicide.

[@ey5373]

You’re not doing it right. When I date, I make sure to not think at all and just say yes and no at random intervals.

[@beaswork8520]

You need a passport and go to a more traditional country

[@veryepic-vl4ng]

​@@beaswork8520true dat

[@PrettyDeadNightmare]

I think I was lucky enough that my friend became my partner one year later. I think having that friendship first helped because it felt so natural once we did start to date. Now I’ve been together with my high school sweet heart for 15 years.

[@elio6361]

I'm 20, never dated anyone, or had any experience whatsoever. I don't really feel like looking for someone, because : -Going to a girl with the sole purpose of dating her seems weird and borderline creepy to me -There's the possibilitt of trying to date girls at my school, I'm even kinda close to some of them, but first of all they're friends, and second of all I have no idea how this whole flirting thing works. Plus even if I did, I'm just too scared to act on it -I'm too lazy. Whenever I'm home, unless invites to something, I barely set a foot outsiide. So asking a girl out seems dumb, cause I don't go out myself. Plus, I don't really want to have to go out regularly with her, when all I really want is to stay at home most of the time All this to say, idfk what to do at this point, so I'll just do nothing 👍

[@daxterfireball]

You're only 20 my guy, focus on your life goals. Everything else will come in due time.

[@dencentbeatz794]

Yo at least try my man. I mean the more you do it the more you’ll get used to it. I’ve gone on a few dates here and there, and they have been sorta successful but I realize where my anxiety and overthinking is holding me back. Obv it is a game of looks. Personality is obv there but it’s the looks first. So just try to maximize that to the best u can. Depends on what your goal is anyways. I def do want to find someone I can start a family with. But the toxic masculinity idea def fucks with people.

[@elio6361]

@@dencentbeatz794 my goal ? I have no goal. Be it in dating or just life in general. All I want is to not be too depeessed, and for now I've been doing for my whole life, and without needing to date. The only time I vaguely tried was extremely stressful and almost made me loose a very close friend. It really seems to just clash with what I "want"

[@ren96706]

Ask yourself if you want to be with a woman for a lifetime because if you do nothing then you will get nothing.

[@iconoclast6555]

Ex dumped me after a 7 year relationship. Now I'm 33 lol. Have no idea how to date in my 30s, and the thought of meeting someone, falling in love, and then breaking up again honestly scares me. Tbh I feel lonely, but it does get better over time and I'm getting quite used to single life and though I miss the experiences I had when I was in a relationship, I'm already preparing myself for a single life forever, or at least for a long time. Seems like the standards of women have also become much higher these days because of social media, and I have the face, so if I work on my body and get more money, I know I could rizz on some girls again, but the thought of working so hard for girls pisses me off tbh, I'm just gonna work hard for myself and if Im gonna work on my body, it's for my health, and if I'm gonna work on getting rich, it's to support my hobbies.

[@snoopertrooper4468]

not trying to be rude, never dated anyone in my life but what took you so long to put a ring on someone you dated for 7 years? Especially during your mid twenties, which in my opinion is the prime time to start looking for a life long partner.

[@kineko7823]

You don’t have to work for anyone but yourself and if you are lucky, you will find someone who will like that. A partner is a part of your life, not your life. It’s nice, that you can find love in yourself and not chasing relationships to fill that void.

[@iconoclast6555]

@@snoopertrooper4468 Mostly financial situation, especially during and after Covid. We broke in 2022 almost right after Covid. Getting married itself is already expensive as hell, let alone getting a place and living together. Both of us wanted to be financially stable first before getting married, and as embarrassing as it is to say, it was hard enough to take care of my own self. The reason or reasons were more vast and complicated than that, but needless to say I blame my own self most for the breakup.

[@iconoclast6555]

@@kineko7823 Yep, that's just what I'm trying to do now. Not even trying to date someone new for now. Want to get into a place where I'm actually happy being single and if or when that happens, maybe I'll try to meet someone new, but for now, it's work for myself and live for myself.

[@kineko7823]

@@iconoclast6555 That’s a healthy approach! Takes a lot to admit that and stick to it.

[@elkwesi2098]

I've never thought about it but I think being in the creative field gives me a leg up when it comes to dating. It's not like a regular hardcoded 9 to 5 office job where you just go back & forth between home and the office. And you don't really have opportunities to meet people. You can meet someone on set, or maybe at an art show or at a random gathering. You have alot more chances to meet someone organically.

[@KrisRenegadeAngel]

This is a tough subject to breach normally because relationships have become so complicated and weird nowadays. As a 25 year old woman who is just tired of wasting my time with people who aren’t serious about me, the dating pool is just awful. Practically everyone is out here looking for hookups and short term flings and some of us really just want to settle down at this point. I just want to vibe with someone and to love and be loved.

[@RenKohana]

The boys will probably never read this but to Garnt’s question: for the “single and lonely” survey, I think lonely refers to not just being in a romantic relationship but it also extends to friendships as well

[@amajorfenerd]

Man. I’m a girl, about to turn 22 in a few months, and I already given up on dating entirely. I never had sex because it honestly scares me. And I rather just hang out and play fighting games and watch anime as a date than anything. However throughout my 4 total relationships, two only was there because they thought I was “easy”. And the recent one emotionally and financially drained me, only to dump me one day and announced he found another girl behind my back. THE only time I had a really good relationship with a guy for 3 years, who understand and liked for who I was, broke things off because his job was getting in the way and he felt terrible for not even being able to talk to me for 5 minutes in two weeks. Or coming home at 4am finding me sleeping at the table with dinner in the oven waiting for him. It broke my heart, but I knew it was coming eventually and I didn’t want to hurt him further. I just don’t want to be hurt anymore and have an actual connection. Who I can trust and know they won’t stab me in the back. Nowadays I just focus on myself and just resort to Otome games or hentai if I want romantic satisfaction.

[@nOnAme-oj4ud]

Honestly, same, I'm a guy turning 22, and I actually wanted some to play games and watch anime as a date, wished I'd find someone ever in life like that, I won't probably find ever, cus from where I come from anime is cringe and being a wee just disgusts everyone. Yep I'm a closet weeb and Internet is my only world.

[@ExeTheEnhanced]

I'm a guy and I just turned 26. While I've never been in a relationship, I've recently learned that the kind of connection I should be looking for is one, where your life views overlap and you share similar perspectives. You can have the same hobbies or find them attractive all you want, but if they're a shitty person, who doesn't respect your values, this will only make you unhappy in the longterm. So I decided that for me, it's probably best to get to know someone, who shares my values, but might have completely different hobbies. I've heard from many people that they didn't share any hobbies with their partner and eventually got to know and love their partners hobbies. Also I agree with you that focussing on yourself is best. You don't need others to be happy and that's the best way to show yourself love.

[@amajorfenerd]

@@ExeTheEnhanced Agreed. My four things in a relationship is this: Boundaries, communication, trust, and values. I can compromise on certain values if they are reasonable, and familiar with mine, but not the other three. Otherwise I won't be happy and they won't be happy either. And one thing I learned is that it's okay to break things off if you're not happy. You're not a monster for doing so and don't get guilt-tripped back into a relationship because you don't want to be "the bad guy". Funny enough, the 3 year guy was someone where we had little in common but shared similar values. However, I think I was pretty lucky to get a guy like him. He didn't view me as "one of the boys", or didn't think my tomboyish attributes was "unbecoming for a woman" for once. On top of just so happening to have those values. Those are my biggest hurdles to get over when I was looking around. That and I can not tell for the life of me if a guy is being dense as a rock, or does have an interest in me.

[@FushigiLord]

@@amajorfenerd do it come with egg wah tho

[@amajorfenerd]

@@FushigiLord yeh it come with dah egg wah

[@aarodar]

As someone who feels like they have a meaningful social circle and life in general, lust never filled this hole in my life and dating online just brought pain, I’ve been told it happens naturally but I’ve yet to see it and I’m sad that I haven’t yet cause everyone says once you stop trying you find it and I’m done trying

[@iBankai1995]

It can happen naturally, even online. What happens afterwards is the frustrating part. Sometimes the other person is very into you but it gets too much of a responsibility. Or there are some unresolved issues and you're stressed out of something and the other person just dips because of that. Maybe something works out in the beginning but start getting too much of a hassle and it doesn't work out because of that. Then there are these unrealistic standards where someone has to over-compete the other person in order for the relationship to work somewhere. It's crazy right now but that's just what I've seen and read.

[@aarodar]

@@iBankai1995 it’s fucking crazy man I’ve been recommended to go to target and bookstores for woman but at this point when it happens it happens I’m not gonna rush it

[@Ardorstorm]

Ong, I absolutely hate that “once you stop trying you’ll find it”/“focus on yourself” narrative for so many reasons, especially when you see people who are like “oh I’m so content by myself, I’ve decided to just do the things I enjoy and if something happens, it happens” and it sounds so unproblematic when you believe that, but they’re always the people who have never had a partner and they don’t sound genuinely happy with it _at all._

[@Ardorstorm]

Here’s the thing. You can absolutely be in a state of mind where you are fully content and comfortable with who you are and finding a partner simply isn’t on your priority list at all. __But__ if you are also giving your opinion on it from a place of being absolutely blind, it’s more like you’re just coping with being alone by pretending that it’s better, especially if you’re the type to add something like “I just think having friendships is much better/I don’t mind being friendzoned because even if she rejects me at least I’ve made a friend!” No you haven’t. Some people just don’t work out as partners and are much better off being only friends, but a partner __should_ _be your friend first and foremost, so if you are content with being let down when asking someone out and still want to interact with them afterwards, you never had that kind of interest for them in the first place. If you were already friends, it’s likely that you’ll stay friends and be fine, but if you weren’t, still having that attraction and interacting with them as if you don’t is just unhealthy for you. I am not content with being lonely and I do not want to be. My only other goals in life are to be a writer and guess what? __I ended up writing romance.__ Some people are just here for emotional connection, not “success” as a family of doctors or politicians or scientists would call it. Why would I “focus on myself” when there’s nothing there to focus on? It’s not like I’m absolutely desperate to the point I don’t think of anything but dating, I just don’t have anything else in life that I truly _want._ So why would I just give up on the one thing that I __do?__ Seems like a waste of my time to just keep trudging along, being “”content”” without chasing any real goals. The story I’m making is coming along quite nicely, I don’t have to worry about that as if I’m on a deadline to become the author that I want to be, the rest of my life isn’t really that important to me, hell I’d say I __am__ happy by myself, at least when I’m not pulling all-nighters just because my body won’t let me sleep. However. I am not happy being aimless. Stagnant. I can’t imagine being “content” without a companion, without romance, for five more years just because “if it happens, it happens”. I stay indoors most of the time, I don’t have hobbies that take me out and let me meet people, I __won’t__ find someone just vibing with my shallow self-entertainment within the next year, and I don’t want to pretend I’m truly happy that way. Being ok with being single and, being ok with being lonely, and being ok with being single __and__ lonely are three very different things. You can accept that you don’t need somebody else, but telling everyone just how much you don’t need somebody else is signs of cope. You can be ok with being lonely, but loneliness is a negative feeling and it is running __rampant__ across the younger generations, so spreading that “just stop looking and it will find you” sentiment when you know damn well most people don’t get that luxury until they’ve been wanting it for decades and feel hopeless isn’t helping. Being single and inexperienced is totally fine, there’s no pressure to date if you just don’t feel like it. Being single and inexperienced _and_ lonely is fine too, but resigning to and spreading the idea of “focusing on yourself” at that point is just MASSIVE cope. You know that it doesn’t just come easily, so you hit a point where you just act all casually about it, pretending it’s enlightenment, and you “work on yourself” until something “happens”. Don’t you feel the least bit impatient? Haven’t you been waiting long enough? No, you’re just doing it because you have no other option, but you skip the part where you acknowledge that and go straight to preaching it to others without acknowledging the loneliness itself. Or rather, you acknowledge the loneliness and the fact you can’t actively do anything to change it, so you skip to “well I’m just going to be perfectly content with being single then.”

[@Ardorstorm]

Working on yourself is about working towards your goals, focusing on yourself is about doing what makes you happy. Together, they’re the combined sentiments of self-improvement and self-love, it’s putting your focus on your projects, your hobbies, your development, but in listing these things I get the feeling that there’s still something missing. Why do the values of self-improvement and self-love feel so _wrong_ when in this context of “focusing on yourself? It’s because there _is_ something vitally important missing here. Unless you would actively reject anyone who’s interested in you because you don’t want to be in a relationship at all, you are removing love from the equation and presenting it as complete. But you know damn well that’s a lie. Spending time with family, spending time with friends, both are very fulfilling if you properly keep up with them. Working on your body, working on your career, and working on a hobby are all very fulfilling if you properly keep up with them. But don’t look me in the eye and try to pretend that they are _wholly_ fulfilling without the thing that’s missing. Spending time with someone you like, finding a relationship amongst all the people who aren’t right for you, or that you just don’t have that spark with. Don’t tell me you’d be “focusing on yourself” if you didn’t have those goals too, don’t tell me it’s not a factor in your happiness. You may no longer rely on it to be happy, that’s different, but you rely on it to be fulfilled whether you want to or not. You only lessen the importance of it because you know that it’s not worth it to be desperate, but you’re still in denial that it’s important to you. That’s what I hate about that mindset. I’m not desperate, but I’m not going to just pretend that my lesser goals are more important than wanting love. I fulfill myself by keeping myself comfortable, entertained, and expressing my creativity. I could absolutely drop the fantasizing and say “I don’t need somebody else to be happy, I’m going to focus on my writing and if something happens, it happens.” and it seems like the most healthy mindset, right? ‘Till you realize that I’ve come to that conclusion before and kept that mindset for a year or two before just feeling painfully lonely again, crying at the thought of being told “I love you”, and knowing that I’ve felt this way for years and years and years and have never been able to really put myself out there in a way that I actually have a chance at meeting someone naturally. My other goals didn’t comfort me then, despite really _having something_ with the story that I’m writing, having something that keeps me inspired to write it. Having online friends didn’t comfort me then and I don’t have hobbies that make me any irl ones. my family didn’t comfort me then, hell I don’t even feel comfortable around them. Do I just need to work on these until everything is perfect? Easier said than done, nothing has changed about any of this despite my efforts to fix what’s lacking since I even first realized it as a teen. Would you really be happy “working on yourself” if someone told you, with nothing but sincerity in their voice, that you will *never* find what you’re hoping to bump into? How long would you _actually_ be content, in years, if you fulfilled every other aspect in your life and had nothing left to work towards? How much time would you be willing to spend just coping? I search and hope for a partner just because I don’t want to fake what’s important to me. I’ve been working on myself for long enough, because I’ve been lonely my entire life and not a damn thing has changed from doing so. I’m _not_ happy, and I don’t believe anyone who says they are. The kinds of people who _don’t_ need or want romantic love aren’t reading this. If you say it’s not that special, then why is it important enough to you to convince other people?

[@nathanthom8176]

As a heterosexual aromantic, there is definitely a difference between the desire for a relationships (romantic) and just the desire for sex. I sometimes wish I was asexual aswell as my autistic anxious ass is in no way set up for casual flings (nearly zero game) and having no romantic feelings at all, I usually friendzone myself quite quickly or I things get awkward when I explain my aromantic self (I have no desire to deceive anyone).

[@bubattom5720]

I'm still getting to know about myself, but I suspect I'm in the aromantic heterosexual spectrum as I can't really fall in love as easily/deeply as the people around me. It's nice to see there's another. I hope you can meet your partner soon.

[@deusex9731]

I have the opposite problem xD. Heteroromantik asexual (wahmen) here, and i have the rizz but i dont want to so i stumble in a bunch of guys that would be open, but i have to decline and 2 ex relationships that ended because of that

[@aiden4269]

Learned the hard way this passed holiday season. Met a girl, instantly hit it off, only to end up getting love bombed and strung along for 3-4 months cause she didn't know how to love herself. I hope shes doing well and figures her shit out, but I'm seeing someone new. If it works out, then great, if not, I continue on as I was.

[@staynemarkov8375]

Did you also realize that "love-bombing" is not a real thing and it's just a fake phrase made up by people who don't know how to accept love?

[@listless4204]

how are you now my guy?

[@aiden4269]

@listless4204 Things were pretty dry there for a year and a half. I took that time to work on myself and am working towards building the life I want to live. But I actually just had an amazing first date this past saturday, and already have our 2nd date planned and set :)

[@listless4204]

@@aiden4269 Good to hear man hope things end up great for you both!

[@sprigganpanda]

I don't know much in terms of dating but I don't feel lonely, a romantic relationship isn't the only place you can find a deep meaningful connection. Horniness is just not an issue for me so I guess that helps (not really interested), but I do want someone who cares about my well-being and I've achieved that through my friends and family. I think the key is that I'm not expecting any one person to solve or understand all of my problems, different people have different experiences and can therefore be a comfort in different ways, so it keeps me from overwhelming one person with all of shit. I would like to start a family someday but I'm young enough that I think I've got time, no need to rush. Since I'm content with my current social circle I'm not too concerned with finding a partner (though my grandmas REALLY like to bring up a partner any chance they get), if I meet someone and they add smthg to my life that's wonderful but otherwise I don't force it. I have thought about dying "alone" but I don't like that phrase all too much (at least the way it's commonly used) because I wouldn't be alone, even if I remain single I still have other people in my life. At least online, it seems that a lot of people that're lonely and are seeking a partner to fill that void don't have people, or just someone really, to confide in/comfort them when shit hits the fan. I don't blame them, I feel like my whole life and even now I'm always told that a relationship is where you go to be vulnerable or that you need that special someone to "fix" you, but you can get that in your friendships too. Even if it's just a case of you wanna have a partner to do cute date shit with, while I understand that romantic feelings are different than platonic, you can do that with friends too. But I guess my point is that a lot of what we seek from relationships, a lot of what makes up that feeling of loneliness, you can get from friendships.

[@tobi79777]

You voiced my thoughts perfectly. I get everything i need from friends and the hub lol

[@Ardorstorm]

Please be quiet

[@sprigganpanda]

@@Ardorstorm Why?

[@experienceseeker07]

​@@ArdorstormWe are already so quiet that our life and death don't really matter in the grand scale of things. So, live or die. No point in being quiet.

[@Zenkyuu8921]

A lot of people mistake a spark of lust for a flame of passion, and end up in relationships that don’t go anywhere. I feel like it’s relatable enough to say that if your partner makes your life so much easier without you asking for anything or trying, it’s worth it to put in that effort because I bet they feel you do the same for them. I see most people put up with their partners and it takes a whole bunch of effort which it shouldn’t if you’re both so willing to love each other unconditionally.

[@turq99]

As someone who's been on an on/off journey with apps, I feel all of this Its so stressful and draining sometimes. You get everyone has their wants and needs but you gotta figure out who's being real with you, weed out the A-holes, figure out common ground, and sometimes even when you do meet really good people, the chemistry just isn't there. Not all my interactions were bad even when they didn't work out but for me but, I struggle alot with folks who have specific expectations for how often we speak each day, working around diferent schedules, and people having high expectations at the start of our interactions. I am a big believer in relationships being ongoing work and its meant to start at ground 0. I know its tough out there but I wish folks I spoke to didn't come on so strong. Especially when some of those people have been the ones to reveal their true nature to me. I am not in dire need to date but I want to make good friends and or a romantic partner if it feels right I am 33. The struggle be real as you get older.

[@TheRedOctoberProject]

I can't speak for anyone else but for me the tough thing about not having any dating success is just feeling like nobody wants you and feeling like you need to fundamentally change some surface level part of yourself just to get anyone's attention. It's wild how similar (and similarly soul-crushing) the whole process is to looking for a job.

[@wittykenny2680]

I can relate with connor on this. I had been dating thru apps more this year, but had found myself more insecure and lonely than I ever was. It wasn’t until going out with family one day that I met someone I had a real connection with. Overall, I feel dating apps makes it too easy to not put in effort to actually get into a meaningful relationship.

[@tolucafreak]

After this last breakup I'm just giving up on dating. Thought she was the one but instead just toyed with me. Single in definitely where my life is headed at this point.

[@FlamasNegras]

The thing is... I wanted to be in a couple for a long porcentage of my life and I couldn't be, and it sucked. But, I also was in a position where I could have dated or be intimate with people, but I didn't feel anything for them, so I didn't and I don't regret that. Sad thing about life... is not only about meeting a good person. It also matters the economical and social situation you have, the problems you have with your family and even the way the country you are living in is going. Many times, you don't get to choose to be in decent conditions to have a succesful partnership. The sad thing is that now I am okey and happy. Exactly because of that, I don't want to screw my happiness searching for somebody I may not even like. I just accepted I have to live my life normally and cut toxic things from it. If you live well enough and are happy, sooner or latter you will have more chances. It sucks things have to be so complex though, but that is life :/

[@Rikoyasha15]

It really does feel really hard now, like everyone is inside now and there really isnt good hangout or meet up places u can go to in person. Im not a bar and clubbing kinda person or too into the typical types of ppl they attact. 😞 It kinda feels like if u didnt find anyone at school your almost seemly kinda screwed unless your in the right place at the right time.

[@Link10103]

My coworker met his wife through tinder. Im...almost positive it wasnt anything like soulmates meeting, but he absolutely blew my mind telling me that people had started using tinder as an actual dating app. Even never having used it, i knew its origins was definitely NOT meant for that lol and now they just lean full into it.

[@elseggs6504]

It still isnt for the most part. Best you can expect is a weird friendship or a hookup. Soulmates? Might as well visit a Casino seeing how the odds are stacked against you

[@VinlandicSoul]

Connor’s bit at the end really hit home for me personally here. That was very eye opening. I, too, grew up in the age when the cool guy dated around but now that I’m in my mid 30s, I find myself just wanting that one person 😅

[@milestrombley1466]

It gets harder when you grow old. 😔

[@zaleost]

One major hurdle I've always struggled to get over when dating is what do you do or say that turns two people just casually meeting up to spend time together in public in to two people being in a proper relationship. I've had one girlfriend before where it felt like we kinda just slipped in to being together on the second meeting without anything being officially said or acknowledged. But after that I've always struggled to replicate that and have mostly just been stuck in a cycle of almost just meeting up with people as friends and never really sure how to turn it in to something romantic. With the girl I'm focusing on at the moment we both work full time and she is busy with a lot other things as well, so often there can be a few weeks between our meetings. So I've always wondered what the best exactly to say to her to in some way cement it as a relationship, whether to just awkwardly say "I like you will you be my gf?" or invite her over to my flat for dinner and just her implicit agreeing to be an implicit acknowledgement that she's happy to take it further.

[@UNKNWN96]

Just tell her how you feel and what you’re interested in regarding your relationship, nothing is more attractive than someone who knows what they wants and can communicate it clearly. Good luck!

[@monkaeyes3417]

Lemme tell you all some advice. If you are looking for love and love is what will make you happy, then you wont find it. The absolute most attractive trait someone can have, it doesn't matter if they are ugly, is being happy. People love happiness the most, so basically find your happiness from somewhere else in life, don't think you are going to get it from a relationship. If you are depressed, work on yourself in other aspects, try to find strategies to deal with your depression first and tell yourself that having a partner comes later. To gameify this, love is a win more strategy. If you are already winning then its great, it compiles on and cements your victory. But if you aren't already winning, then it won't help you.

[@lightworker2956]

This sounds great but a lot of it isn't true in reality: - the conventionally hot person will have more dating options than an unattractive happy person. Sorry. That's just reality. You can even argue that the stereotypically attractive man is dark and brooding, or focused on his purpose, or intense, or dominant. Pick up any female-oriented romance novel and the hot male love interest is one of those things and not some guy who is just happy with life. - A genuinely great relationship can help you work through for example depression. It's just that you probably won't find a good relationship as a depressed person, but if I had a hot or rich friend (read: someone who can find a relationship even when depressed) I wouldn't advise them against entering a relationship. - I do agree with prioritizing working on yourself over finding a partner.

[@alexlei2235]

@@lightworker2956 Perhaps the OP made an overgeneralization, but I think it's reasonable to claim that someone who is happy with their life is indeed attractive. And, if someone is not societally accepted as externally attractive, the best thing they can to attract other is to demonstrate that they are happy with themselves. I also do not think your comparison with romance novels is analogous to reality, too. It's fantasy for a reason. To be genuinely attracted to those characters as real people would raise many concerns imo of both parties' abilities to maintain a healthy relationship. Of course, genuinely great relationships can unravel or resolve personal problems, but regardless of status, you should not approach a relationship in the first place with the mindset that you need something about yourself fixed. Doesn't matter if they're hot or rich. Just because they CAN get someone doesn't mean they SHOULD. What ends up happening is that people get unnecessarily hurt due to preventable issues. Also, a romantic partner is not necessarily the frontline support system for personal problems. You got friends and/or family to consult with first. So yes, do work on yourself. Be happy with your current life before looking for someone to add to it.

[@frog6054]

An autistic kid in my college seems happy and content with his life but no one really wants to be his friends. 🤷

[@ankansenapati3600]

​@@lightworker2956move your lazy ass to the gym have six pack then you should talk about any attractiveness. Talking from personal experience.

[@icravedeath.1200]

​@@frog6054I think that's a different issue

[@AverageBear-ly]

Love can be an emergent phenomenon from being happy with yourself first. But life doesn't really work according to the storylines and explanations we have in our heads. It is a real challenge in our busy and overworked societies to find something meaningful. Sometimes we're too tired, lost and hopeless to muster any courage to try. Anyone trying is very brave! I too haven't found it. But being alone has taught me that you also need to be comfortable with yourself, when there is no one around. It's truly possible to feel alone next to someone else - sometimes that idea also breaks people and causes them to try to pretend that something is there. Living inauthentically like that is hard, something to really ask yourself about. Try for the hard and scary things, it's more meaningful imo. I hope to do that - I feel that I could smile at myself alone after trying, rather than being broken on the inside next to a stranger.

[@RigoVids]

I haven’t gone on a date in 4 years and I always feel bad about it. I feel as if I am wasting my prime years doing nothing but studying. People say I’m smart to be doing this, but they don’t understand just how lonely I am. I haven’t hung out with a friend in over a year. All I do is work and study. I am degrading as a person to the point where I feel I am less human and more machine. All I do is serve others, and my basic needs go unrecognized. I’m lustful and lonely, and have no outlet to quench any desires I have beyond cheap internet content and distraction. The only way I don’t feel sad about my state is through distracting myself with work and school. People wonder how I do it, but I wonder how they get by not distracting themselves with work. I realize they aren’t depressed, and it makes me feel even worse about myself for having to use work as an emotional crutch. Rather than a crutch, I should say it is a dam. It blocks the emotions from ever being expressed as I can focus on the topics of learning, completely engross myself in content, and receive social validation for my intelligence. But I cannot feel fulfilled so long as my social life remains as desolate as it is. Everyone I know has friends. I have friends if you can call them that. I don’t hang out with them outside of school, but they hang out with each other. I am left out because I am so busy, but I know if I wasn’t busy I wouldn’t go anyways.

[@NRB10ful]

I think by lonely they straight up mean they don't have friends or connections with people. The most I have are work friends but then when I go home it's just me alone

[@NikosM112]

Colleagues are not your friends.

[@neociber24]

After being an adult when you are busy all the time; if you don't force yourself to meet people and accept rejection you are screw if you are searching for a partner.

[@samuelpierre3026]

I feel like the main issue is people are horny and lonely, but can't figure out which need they want addressed first lol.

[@eli0uz]

Also lots of things are in between. Sometimes you just want a cuddle really bad.

[@CinnamonOwO]

As a girl nearing her mid 20s, i despise the idea that you have to get into a relationship and get married, have kids andthat nothing else matters. I personally wont have kids for at least a while. I dont feel capable of being a mom

[@zerotwowaifu2232]

We all want a perfect person that will accept our flaws and make us feel complete but society is a thing I'm 20 now and i had some good female friends who had the potential to be great gf but i never took the next step because of my shyness and this shyness is holding me still to this day mostly i think about is what if I don't treat the other person right and juat waste the time and money. But at the same time all of it also feels like peer pressure kind of thing.🙂

[@marmedalmond9958]

I tried to make the move. Ended up getting ghosted, dumped and cheated on.

[@DogsRSweet]

I was the type of person, and still am one in a lot of ways, who thought that they could never be married, never date, never find love and happiness and was content just living my life like I was always going to be that way. I felt I was broken and didn't deserve happiness, so I accepted that and lived my life. I am 23, I have had one serious and real relationship that has currently lasted two years. I am happy that I have found someone, even if it feels like we're in a rough patch right now. Idk if we will get married and settle down. I don't want to until I'm 25 at least, because I want to fully develop as a person in mind and body. And for the past year, everyday I wake up, I feel a step closer to that, being a real person, a full person as my brain develops. But she is two years older than me. And I know she wants to get married and wants to have a family eventually. Life doesn't work out the way we want most of the time. But we just have to accept that and try and live the best way we can. And idk if anyone else has done this before, but if you have, I'm with you. I used to get into a really depressed state, at the lowest point in my life, and I would be desperate for connection, or to at least feel like I was trying, and would get on dating apps and make profiles. I never actually went further than that, but I did. I did tinder, all the mobile ones, some online and even several porn dating sites. I didn't want to meet anyone, or maybe I did and couldn't bring myself to do it. But I made the account, did nothing with it, and felt ashamed that I was trying to find a connection online like that. It just felt wrong to me.

[@epistarter1136]

19 and its hard to make friends let alone make friends with a woman, really doubting myself since I still see myself in 2018 but I hope I can make myself goals to better myself and achieve what I want naturally. Wish all of you the best in relationships ✌️

[@lollybirdy]

Tell me about it. I have accepted my forever single Pringle life 😔✌️

[@Killerqueen2000]

+1

[@reggie1847]

Pringles are so good.

[@nickcastell1425]

Same bro, same

[@yxtsama]

@@reggie1847 agree, wish it was cheaper here

[@greenwoodforrest]

At the same time, I think some of us really are just cursed when it comes to dating and romance. Like, I'm 39, and I'm your typical sad-sack case at this point: never been married, never been in a relationship, never gotten a date, never even been kissed or hugged. For a period of about 6 years prior to the pandemic, I was daily on every single dating app you could name. And in all that time, across all those hours and swipes, I only ever matched with one profile, on Bumble, and that was a bot. In all other respects, I'm doing fine: successful career, plenty of friends, good relationships with my coworkers, and healthy, supportive relationships outside of work. But it's also abundantly clear, at this point, that no one ever has or ever will see me as a romantic or sexual partner. Whatever rizz you need to get there, I just clearly don't have it and never have. It sucks. I don't know what else I can change at this point, and clearly I'm not good enough for anyone as I am. And there doesn't seem to be an answer or a way forward. The people have spoken.

[@ea_naseer]

Well if you have that large of a social graph in real life have you ever tried to use those connections 🤔?

[@greenwoodforrest]

I also have to figure that it probably wouldn't help even if I went up to my friends and explicitly asked them if they knew anyone they could introduce me to. I mean, you'd have to think that if it were even possible for anyone to be attracted to me at all, then at some point during all these years, someone would have expressed interest in me. It speaks volumes that literally no one has. Like I said, I think some of us are just cursed. My only real hope at this point is to get isekai'd as someone with even a tiny amount of rizz.

[@mormegil84]

Your friends never helped you meet anyone?

[@ycs7143]

NGL, if you are 39 the best choice is to look for single mothers that just divorced, they will probably be in a stage where vulnerable both emotionally and financially. That's when you can go all in.

[@greenwoodforrest]

@@mormegil84 Unfortunately, no. I have opened up to a few of my friends about my dating issues, and at least one of them told me that with my looks and body type, I'd honestly have a tough time finding anyone. Which, fair, but that still stung.

[@alexander1989x]

These guys are 100% right. Most people get into a relationship and marry for the sake of it. Not really thinking "Do I want a gf? Do I need to marry?" because my parents were legit worried about me not having a gf when I was 23 but didn't cared that I was fully contented with my life.

[@natedogg890]

I met my gf in uni, it was very natural and the lifestyle of uni gave us a lot of free time to spend together and get to know each other. 12 years later, we're still together and neither of us have ever had to dip a toe in the cesspool that is online dating

[@JustSomeGuyWithRedLens]

are you married now

[@natedogg890]

@@JustSomeGuyWithRedLens Ya, we are just about to sign mortgage papers and buy our first house together.. kids in a couple years maybe if WW3 doesn't happen. Becoming an actual adult is a trip

[@HigkeyRegarded007]

@@natedogg890huge congrats man! Same kinda thing here. Met my gf in uni. Still here 10 years later.

[@marmedalmond9958]

@@HigkeyRegarded007 what about the guys who didn't go to university? Or did uni in the pandemic?

[@MewDenise]

Soon 30 and still no stable lifestyle. I dont have time for romance and even if I did.... I think I may never want a partner ever. Im starting to feel like I dont need anything romantic in my life. Im happy with my friends

[@ceresbane]

You forget the extra consideration of the utter psychopaths that want the social clout of "having lots of bodies" to count. Being with a person that fulfils your needs is one thing. But the bragging rights of having scammed, lied and manipulated (emotionally, financially, socially) people into bed. Just so you can flex how much rizz you have... that is also an important thing to factor into this discussion.

[@awesomeness1122]

Andrew tate would like to know your location

[@eli0uz]

Dude chill, lots of people just want casual hook up and there's no scam involved there.

[@Krish_Ketchum]

Still many countries in southern asia etc is different from that though.. Getting married and having a body count of one with ur spouse is the most common thing there. Ofc people are changing but still there is a cultural difference here

[@fenris5932]

​@@eli0uzpresumably he's talking about either pickup artists or the type of women who will go on a date/go fuck just to get money out of the relationship

[@haileyt857]

@@glurpious73 tell me you equate your value to something as frivolous to sex without saying you equate your value to something as frivolous to sex:

[@randomdan1648]

I learned what it was really like to love someone instead of lusting over someone, at a very young age (if 19 counts as very young lmao). I was at college, it was my 1st year of the semester, and i met this person in my class who was just so, chill? Like, they were attractive too, but it was their personality, their vibe, their humour, the simple way we'd talk about the most mundane shit and just understand each other so much, my God it was such an awakening moment. I asked them out and they said yes while joking how i was taking too long to do so and that they were gonna do it tomorrow if I said nothing lmao. Unfortunately, the relationship didn't last long as i was young, inexperienced, and stupid. But my mistakes made me understand what to do better in future and I'm grateful of the time we had to understand myself more and for them too. We still talk to this day like, sveral years later, and they're doing amaing in life too. They're the closet friend I've had in years and I'm always gretaful for them to be a part of my life no matter what. If you ever needed that sign, get out there and make mistakes. Be awkward, be a chatter box, be yourself, you'll learn as you grow and you'll feel so much better because of it, best of luck to you and have a wonderful week xx

[@introvertswag6494]

Honestly I'm just too tired to try and learn about someone else. With how much I work just to live I barely have enough time to try and understand myself and my preferences, much less another person

[@heinoustentacles5719]

funnily enough, interacting with other people, especially on an intimate level, is a very good way of understanding yourself and your preferences. Humans are social creatures. To a large extent, everyone is defined by other people.

[@BL00F0X]

34 years old this month.. I've never been on a proper date. I've always been too intimidated and I have negative rizz which makes it feel impossible. Now I feel like I'm going to be alone forever.

[@Gabrhil]

"Are they lonely or just horny?" Been trying to crack that one for a while now.

[@ea_naseer]

It can't be cracked or to better explain it some hormones in the body do two, three, four... things at once. So you could feel lonely but you are actually horny and vice versa.

[@thepunisher4356]

Single and lonely wizard here. No magic potential to report or maybe the magic is the growth made on the journey to 30. Still have hope for some kind of connection but mostly just trying to focus on myself and my mental health.

[@shweyiwinko4799]

I'm almost 20 now and never had a partner. I'm someone who's on aromantic spectrum. I want someone i can rely on in times of need but at the same time i don't feel romantic attraction easily like most people do. so I figure there is nothing i can do. Going forward, although i would love to meet someone organically, even if it didn't happen, i'll just continue on as i am.

[@maggie198333]

Internet makes people feel more lonely these days because information is so accessible and "making connection" is so accessible that people don't appreciate the time when they are physically with somebody. People are distanced from one another irl.

[@hoosmyster]

If you are going into it, Have red flags + green flags. Have a vision of yourself and a plan how to get there. Abundance mindset. Brutal honesty, honesty so brutal it may as well be verbal assault. Have standards and be realistic. Lads - dating apps are against you, get some game first. Ladies - appreciate the blue collar working man, he has long term values, bad boys never do. Hold onto the good ones, there arent many of them in this day and age.

[@POTATO-ch3lp]

25, had one partner for like 3 weeks back in high school. Now I’m like worried that I might end up alone, yet I’m not even trying to fix that because I donno… maybe I’m scared, maybe I’m just feeling more pressure… I donno. I’m worried that I donno.

[@yurichtube1162]

It's fine. Focus on yourself, and when you feel ready, just go and date around. Have fun.

[@POTATO-ch3lp]

@@yurichtube1162 Thanks friend ^^

[@brandongaribaldi8365]

23 and never dated or had meaningful connections. Doesn't matter to me tho. I'm still smiling and living well 🙂.

[@Karda_Nava]

I totally feel you all the way Connor. I can definitely relate almost exactly with what Connor said. I too for a good many years dated constantly, & was hooking up with different girls all the time, thinking that this is what I wanted & what I needed to do to be the cool guy I should be, & that all these hot pretty girls I’m sleeping with & always dating will make me feel complete, like the man, super masculine, & I guess almost rich or successful in a sense… well after a while it started getting almost legitimate depressing honestly. As you said Connor, you almost start to feel even more lonely than if you were single & just on your own doing your own thing, etc. I realized I needed to step back, & take some time (a decent bit of time, even if a few years or so..) to essentially find myself, build myself up for the better, figure out exactly what it is I want to do with my life, & try to become the best version of me & build the actual success I want to/my true calling, & just all around work on myself as well as garnering real successfulness in a path I truly wanted to do for my life & career even, etc.. Then after I became who I want to be & build that success & self I knew I really strived for by doing the things I enjoy, love & make me genuinely happy, that then after all that when I’m legitimately & fully happy & completely satisfied with myself & who I am/have become, then I’d like to try & find someone meaningful that I can make a real connection with & have real love. I got sick of the hook ups, & sleeping around all the time.. even if the girls where gorgeous, it got depressing & felt meaningless after a while.. Id like to find a real genuine love instead now eventually. Though, for the moment I’m still focused on myself & my own success etc. like you stated too Connor. I totally get that! & if i happen to find the girl I’m meant to be with while I’m building myself.. well, then great lol. Becoming my best self & building up the success I want is first priority currently though.

[@CaffeinatedIce]

"Pay to win" (meanwhile the country is crashing and burning in the backround)

[@raoufrays8339]

My impression of relationships is somewhat complicated, because the society in which I live (north african Muslim) is based on two types of ways to build relationships, either you meet a girl and date her emotionally devoid of any sexual aspect and stuffs, and then you can decide after that to ask for her hand and marry her, a way that makes it as if you are keeping the person for yourself where the girl will not accept any suitor before you ask for her hand, it is more guaranteed way in terms of that you know the other party very well and that you have built an emotional foundations for your marriage. The problem with this method is ethical, as it is forbidden in our religion and according to your devotion and commitment, this may contradict your principles in a very direct and blunt way, or in the second case, it may be related to your personality itself, such as being unable to enter into this type of relationship due to a lack of such skills, qualifications, or the circumstances in which you live in itself. The second method is the traditional aka arranged marriage, it is more ancient and familiar way in our society. On the man’s side, it will be a journey in which you use your family or personal relationship network to search for a potential partner suitable for marriage. One of your family members or acquaintances can recommend a woman to you, and you will go to inquire about her. From her neighbours, her work colleagues, her family members, her environment...etc. to check her righteousness as a person and that she is a good and honorable person with an honorable family aka suitable to marry, then you will visit her family directly (after informing them), to meet the woman, so that you can see her and talk to her, then you can ask for her hand in marriage, here she will become engaged to you, where you can get to know her more and vice versa at the the period of the engagement, and if a dispute occurs, the engagement can be annulled (although this is frankly quite rare), and then marriage will come. The negatives are clear here as well, as you do not know the person very well personally, but rather with the appearance of her morals, her family and her environment, as these things act as indicators of her goodness as a partner. There are no moral problems in this matter as well, to sum it up. Either you marry the person you love, or you love the person you marry, and both methods work in our society, but it differs from one person to another. Divorce is less costly for both people as well where I live, at least there is no such thing as taking half of the property after separation. As for sex before marriage, it is considered taboo and a terrible thing, and it is viewed very badly by the whole society without dispute, and it is a kind of illegal relationship that is harmful to the person, no matter who he is. But marriage is expensive nowadays and it's the same here to, years of work and help from family is needed. So yah, very different scene here but difficulties always exist in this world.

[@thesensiblesocialist]

I'm gonna be 30 soon and I'm single. I've been waiting my entire life to feel that 'spark' everyone talks about. I've been dating since I was a teenager and I think I'm about ready to just stop altogether and be single for a while because I've never felt the spark with anyone I've been with and I don't see the point in continuing the search. I'm coming to the conclusion that I should just wait and let that 'special connection' come to me, and if life doesn't bring it, that's fine too.

[@rowansaro2458]

I’m more in the Garnt and Joey field where I’ve met my partners organically, usually through work, and didn’t have to go through a serious dating phase. From what my friends tell me, it’s tough out there. For anyone looking, remember that everything happens in its own time and to focus on taking care of yourself and have a nice personality. Have both output and input-related hobbies. Get outside every now and then. Maybe join a group and meet some like-minded individuals.

[@ViewportPlaythrough]

hey hey... just know you are a lucky person and congrats on your relationship ^_^

[@Exel3nce]

Or be unlucky and never meet anyone

[@rhiannn3416]

yep meet my bf in a language exchange community. I was just meaning to brush up on my jp, but stuff happened ig 😂😂😂

[@ViewportPlaythrough]

@@rhiannn3416 you too, congrats on being lucky(both you and your bf ^_^ )

[@WoWMinGM]

I think I'm dating to fill a void. Because that's what I'm supposed to be doing. It has resulted in a few romantic moments and a relationship that lasted seven months but it never got as deep or "meaningful" as I had hoped. I remember thinking during this time; "Wow I'm still just me, nothing has changed dramatically." It was very insightful to learn this but it's still hard to acknowledge that void for what it is because it feels very real and like a flaw. I'm not whole unless I have a partner. Luckily I have a career that's just starting out, hobbies, friends and family. But some days are hard.

[@sagemaster1357]

I'm still 20 and never had a girlfriend. While I'm single, I would like to focus on myself

[@DaakkuuYRS]

30 years old here, mate. Single, happy, and not lonely.

[@ea_naseer]

Based 🗿

[@bridgettelair370]

My friend uses a dating app of some kind, not sure which exactly, but the guys that message her are cringey. Like they use babygirl and say they'll take care of her in literally the first message. It's gross, I'd rather be alone than deal with that nonsense. I feel bad for her though, she's about ready to give up and just adopt.

[@durandus676]

You know those paranoid fears guys have about dating? And how people say that won’t happen? I’ve had everything aside from engagement marriage and divorce happen within a 3 year period. I can’t stop seeing women as a threat like a bear with rabies. Ain’t tried anything in 5 years and I’m way better for it.

[@VendettaProduction01]

People like that at 7:45 were called security blankets or place holders.

[@taoiseachjager9643]

23 and have never even been on a date. I never learned how to meet girls mich less intereact with them in a romantic way (i have female friends). At this point i figure it is hopeless for me and that i will never have a meaningfull romantic connection.

[@eli0uz]

You should give Tinder/Hinge etc a try. You'll get dating experience that way :) Idk, the worst you can lose with it is a bit of time and energy.

[@heavenseeker2320]

Ignore the dating app suggestion. 70% of the time you come out either A) more damage than before or B) You realize that gamifying dating make it actually unhealthy. The other 30% is to use it as a tool to meet new people instead of dating. My suggestion for the next 5 year is to find a group of people who have similar interest and hobby. Go out to convention, go out to any gathering of local weeb. After that, it time to expand your social circle. After a good few several month or few years, you basically know way more people. You’ll be surprise at how many single people are there if you search. After that, just try to talk and connect. A lasting relationship is build on a certain level of friendship first. It not like it a full proof plan either but expanding your social circle, knowing new people to trust, and getting to know people more deeply is a good steep. The most important thing at the end of the day is to be happy and healthy. Once you get those two down, it get easier to get a partner.

[@eli0uz]

@@heavenseeker2320 Well dating apps worked well for me (met my girlfriend of more than a year there) and statistically it is nowadays the most common way people meet their SO. Your suggestion is still good though. Both can and do work.

[@NikosM112]

@@eli0uz Your suggestion is f'ing pathetic.

[@sabermajora408]

completely given up on dating and im 23. going to focus on self improvement, ive just started going to the gym.

[@bearpreaching2778]

The difficulty I encounter is finding someone at the same point in life as me. It very well could be the area I'm in or some other factors but I'm at a point where I personally am ready to settle down with someone and think about having a family. I'm nearly 30 and dating around just isn't something that interests me. I'd love to connect with someone intimately, but there does seem to be a lot of folks who like the idea of having me around more than actually forming a bond with me and taking things to a more meaningful place.

[@Vaan4756346]

I have a dating burnout from dating apps. They are so bad. Ghosting, meaningless dates, no connections and very very rarely any dates...

[@honeyhaunting]

I’ve accepted being forever alone at 28 ❤ I tried but it’s way too painful being let down constantly and starting all over again. I wished things were different but at this point I don’t know what it will take I think we are just doomed lol.

[@dawn_prime6485]

yup let it decay.

[@Killzone626]

i think its harder to accept potentially being alone and having a big question mark in life instead of thinking one is doomed to be alone. But yeah fk it let it die.

[@monwe8050]

womp womppp, ur literally a female stop tryna act like a victim🤣

[@BEYG1000]

Well guess I’ll just die sad and alone

[@Alcadeias90]

It takes me aproximately a year and a half of near daily tinder grind (free to play) to meet a normal person on tinder that's actually willing to talk, get to know me and go out on a date with

[@Drum8888]

Dating apps, like a lot of things now, started off well with good features and some good results. Then as their userbases grew and they became more widespread they turned into predatory profiteering machines, removing previously available features and putting them behind paywalls, trying to find the most efficient way to milk their users for everything they can until the service becomes practically unusable.

[@MehoyMenoy13]

I can’t be with someone unless I’m friends with them first. I dated someone 4 years ago because I was lonely and not only did I learn I shouldn’t do that but I actually have problems on my own lol. I’ve been on a self improvement journey (starting at 25, I’m not 28) and I’ve started talking to girls again.

[@christopherdamian4246]

Cheating is so scarily common

[@Duran762]

Being a guy in the modern dating age is like playing on Nightmare difficulty.

[@LyMizukage]

I'm 35 and got dumped after 12 years like, right before covid started. But for me it's a blessing cause I feel so much better single and I don't have to cater to someone else's horniness. But I have friend so I don't feel lonely at all, got lucky here I guess

[@haileyt857]

YES, being free from that other person's horniness is a big reason why I'm more happy single! I just need that one friend (or two). Then I'll be good.

[@PlywoodFraternity]

Delete the apps and meet real people. Volunteer at a nonprofit. Join a bowling league. Go to esports conventions. Pick a pub you like and watch football there instead of at home. It literally doesn’t matter where. Just do some activity that you enjoy IN PUBLIC and other people will be there that you can connect with.

[@dencentbeatz794]

Great advice

[@Luemm3l]

Great advice, but isn't guaranteed to bring you a partner Or new friends. Did all that but most of the people I got to know there also moved on (i. E. Got a family themselves, skipped town, whatever) or the girls do not view you romantically or the other way around. It does take your mind of things and gives you something to do, won't deny that. But it often is not enough

[@dokucity]

volunteering at a nonprofit is actually underrated. a good nonprofit volunteering experience can change your mood. i was down for a bit because of college but volunteering and seeing people happy and helping set up food for guests was so nice. nice ladies telling me i will do well in college was also really nice, it honestly felt too good to be true. i was thinking "there's no way people are this nice" but they were. i went to some random nonprofit place too, maybe i just hit the jackpot. i 100% recommend nonprofit orginizations

[@securityvau1t]

@@Luemm3l It's a good starting point, though.

[@Friendly_Neigborhood_Astolfo]

This is why I am trying to slowly volunteer at anime connections. It has been awhile since I have been on staff for a con