The Difference Between Being Shamed and Feeling Shame

[@jp5419]

I've heard what your critics have to say about you and I'm still here. Your gifts shine through and smart people can see it. Keep sharing your light as humanity is very troubled and needs it ❤🙏

[@fabi9802]

i agree 👍

[@freshstrt3140]

Thank you for sharing your grounded voice of reason. Its is a balm of truth. Rare in these strange days!

[@jessicajohnston5693]

The sad thing is, if the critics ACTUALLY listened to Teal instead of just seeing the title of the video and assuming stuff... They would learn that Teal is trying to help all of us, not harm us. And, her methods work for a lot of people, including me. If this isn't working for someone, no one is keeping them prisoner. They can just not follower her content.

[@oksanashalygina1313]

“And I’m still here” like you ve had doubts or something. Not critics haters

[@carl8568]

​@@jessicajohnston5693 Then they probably could not remain a critic, I work with a person who is often going on about how Teal was implanted with false memories and her abuse history is not accurate. I don't know the truth, but I do recognize the insights I have gained in to myself, and other humans, listening to Teal's content.

[@chaz7604]

I’m guilty of this big time. After being in a highly abusive relationship, I really struggle with negative feedback and criticism as I view it as control and not being accepted. I struggle a lot with the difference between someone wanting me to be a different way as a form of control, or what is healthy feedback. The pressure to change is immense and exhausting and knowing you’re doing the best you can at any given moment, I just want to run when I’m met with constant “attacks”, but then again I might have done something “wrong”. So hard to know what’s changing so much that you lose yourself in a relationship or become codependent to satisfy someone else’s needs that go against your own, or what’s being too damn self-centered that you don’t want to change or compromise anything for another. What a minefield!!

[@bittersweetindustryexecutive]

@Chaz First: Kudos for your honesty! Second: imo your post goes to show that you've now reached a level of (self-)awareness that enables you to word so precisely and concisely what it is you're struggling with the most. In other words, what the main challenges are you need to be, not only facing, but, most importantly, working on. This in and of itself is quite an achievement already, imo, and should be met with some positive feedback from yourself to yourself. We can't just change us and the lifes we live overnight. It's usually a slow and gradual process. I'd like to use the saying 'going from zero to hero' and have a little play on this to further explain. Note: I'm not at all saying the 'zero' is a worthless person. The 'zero' to me is merely someone either being or feeling uncapable of doing or being the 'best' version of them. And the 'hero' being the 'best' version of them. Now, with that in mind, I think you already now how the 'hero' version of you should behave and what 'superpowers' it should have. You want to be able to distinguish between someone abusing you and having ill intend and someone reacting in a highly emotional way when inadvertently being triggered by you. As you believe having this 'superpower' will enable you to connect with, trust and ultimately love someone. All this without the memory of the abusive relationship being triggered all of the time. Teal touches on this very briefly in a video posted on the 'watkinsbook' channel which features her talking to a small crowd who were there for her book presentation. It's at around 21:15. She also very briefly talks about "The tendency to run when met with 'attacks' in this vid. It's all a bit cut and past, as they've edited stuff out, but maybe it is of use to you. Hope this helps you somewhat. Good luck!

[@Seamannon]

@@bittersweetindustryexecutive Thanks for your recommendation :)

[@beata_rose]

I felt this!

[@Mushroom321-]

Thank you for sharing ! 😮

[@celestehernandez2000]

YES YES YES. I struggle so badly balancing these two things. I never fail to either feel like a completely selfish a**hole, or to feel totally enmeshed, like I’ve self-sacrificed with no sense of self. It’s such a difficult tightrope to walk on.

[@annikabirgittanordlander6887]

”We fear that there will be a social consequence for something about us. When I say “about us”, I mean something that we think, something that we feel, something that we want, something that we like, something that we don’t like or something that we do or don’t do etc. Perceiving social consequence is a very serious deal for us”. Teal Swan. Thank you Teal for talking about this 🌎

[@LulitaRibbon]

So, if I'm shamed I have to: 1) Own my shame as my internal process 2) Do the internal work 3) Ask myself why the other person shamed me 4) Adress the other person's desire and my truth about it 5) Comunicate my truth

[@jean-noeljabagi3653]

Pretty much.

[@raphaelyvens3974]

Nice résumé

[@dearhorse085]

Right now am at a point in my spiritual journey in which I'm trying to stop hitting myself every time I think of embarrassing old memories.

[@gustavoeliasmorales77]

Good distinction between being shamed and feeling shame. Shame is a painful emotion but it's your conscience biting at you telling you something is off.

[@TealSwanOfficial]

Incase You'd Rather Read About It Instead: tealswan.com/resources/articles/the-difference-between-being-shamed-and-feeling-shame-r547/

[@月亮-g5f]

Feeling intense shame about myself or my failures is one of the biggest problems I struggle with, and I was thinking about it lately and now Teal makes a video about it, thank you a lot 🌺

[@rosebflowin]

Same 😭

[@TheMediumChannel]

EXACTLY, this is so well explained Teal and it dives into both our natural and programmed subconscious tendencies. Shaming is an effective and widely used tool to program people to surrender their power. Learning how to vibrate at the heart center to access the master frequency is the ultimate shame-buster as it empowers us to see ourselves from a higher vantage point where we accept our humanness rather than lament our mistakes and the heart is the portal of our soul, our ultimate power..

[@Kissmyars1-i8n]

This is why I separated from the father of my children. He would rather leave the house and not accept a discussion between us when he had violated my trust or hurt my feelings. I tried teaching myself after so many years of disfunction, how to better communicate for him. I wanted to control my self better and the way I reacted to how he made me feel about myself when he would say so many hurtful things. I loved him so much I always wondered if he could really not see my good intentions with him. And how much I sacrificed to keep us together. I wanted to learn ways to converse with him and speak my mind to him when it mattered so much for me because I wanted him to grow with me, to move forward or else we were going to be stuck in a bad place. But I spent 7 years and I finally realized that I was forgetting about me. When I didn't know who I was anymore, when it felt like I was fighting for a love story I had only dreamed about. I created a happy ending in my mind and I wanted for it to become reality so bad. But I was fighting for fiction, none of those fairytales ever happened.

[@johnjohnstone9805]

I didn't realize I was shame's captive when I was younger, feeling needy of only good feedback my social world rapidly shrunk, to hermitville, but now I view it (shame) as a big problem I need to overcome in myself.

[@danielledansie688]

Oh boy! I think this hit my husband and I exactly! I can't address any need without him feeling personally attacked. I tend to be super passive and address his needs until I'm burned out, causing me to go into self-preservation. This, in turn, leads to the downward spiral. Here is where I have to emotionally set all of me aside, pick him apart, and get constructive communication done. Then we're fine until I burn out again.

[@zannejae]

Yes! I've seen this with men I've dated too. I was actually wondering if it's because men were programed not to feel emotions.

[@stacielivinthedream8510]

Sounds like you are married to someone with NPD! That's gonna kill you as you are saying it is until you can't take it anymore!

[@danielledansie688]

While I'm not sure, it wouldn't surprise me. His family is weird in a way. Think supportive toxic positivity? The family has been through a lot of trauma, and they just put it past them. Never working on integrating it... they trigger my traumas all the time, and heaven forbid, I do one of their triggers, I'm raked over the coals...

[@stacielivinthedream8510]

@@danielledansie688 yep, agree with whatever he says! That's part of it!

[@StefanNihoniho]

@@zannejae Seems to be like that for the majority aye but there are plenty of men connected with their emotions. I'm a man and sensitive and emotional and every relationship I've been in I've had the same with women, avoidant, terrible at open communication, they would rather bottle it up and explode at some point over text message, not even able to sit down as adults and talk about it, I'm always at fault and blamed, she has an extremely hard time of apologising, I'm abandoned all the damn time (my heart hurts so much right now) I'm so burnt out in my current relationship never having my needs meet though I'm able to meet so so much of her needs and always being attacked when I kindly raise a need and being called needy and how she doesn't want to be my therapist even though it's very clear I can hold much more space and compassion when we are struggling. She's even afraid to give me a hug or a kiss when I am going through something rough. I'm not even asking for much just a little intimacy, some connection. Seems like we attract the opposite energy until we learn what it is we need to learn. I can say this time round in this relationship I've learnt so much about my needs from being more present with the pain that has come up. I'm so sick of being abandoned, I really want someone who can meet my need of connection and to reassure me I won't be abandoned throughout the relationship when some conflict comes up, that we can sit down and have open communication and really listen to each other.

[@SDHT1111]

Interestingly, Osho says that feeling shame can lead you to realize your potential because it is something internal. Feeling guilt on the other hand, is something imposed to you externally by others, and it has a destructive effect on the character.

[@LillianArch]

Just withdrew from a relationship of 6 years. I did this after several years feeling shamed by his words and behavior. Allowing myself to be treated in ways my previous self would have never allowed. His life away from me was very fragmented. Mine was so different. So much going on in this relationship made worse by his overtalking me to the point I quietly retreated from talking things through. He’d ask why I was so quiet. I’d explain. He’d say he was ready to listen and work about things. 4 minutes was about how long he could go without interrupting, changing topic, joking. The really big picture in his life are 5 significant concussions in the last 20 years and a family shaming him probably since the first one in elementary school changed his behavior. I kept making excuses for him. He kept avoiding helping himself. The really good parts of our relationship stopped hiding the core reality. I didn’t want my life to go on like this. Now, I’ve moments of shame. He just got up and left. No efforts to communicate. Same except he didn’t turn on the TV. He just left. I didn’t go after him like I’ve done before. I feel like I’ve kicked him to the curb. 4 weeks on and I feel physically better. I’m working to renew and grow. Thank you! You always give me support, help, and strength.

[@kamalsarraj-andaloussi5593]

Always glad to occupy my modest seat in cubic volume of presence in this arena of awareness, showing up is what makes room for more ways to experience holding it.

[@Nina_Kowsari]

Rewatching this as a reminder. Being closed to feedback is antithetical to growth and to healthy relationships.

[@frazerburns91]

I'm feeling some of my shame right now. I think it's rooted in fear of feeling hurt, in front of people. I think i was being shamed for feeling hurt when i was a kid, because it hurt that person to feel guilty that they'd caused me to feel hurt. I understand why they did it. I still feel the shame and hurt, but i can let myself feel it sometimes now, and experience some relief on the other side of it. Your help has opened that up for me so thank you Teal for that. And i like your jacket

[@jessicaselenecenteno]

Deep. Feeling shame and being ashamed. Thank you for the breakdown ❤️

[@noonenooneneither3838]

Thank you Teal. I don't feel shame and I don't feel like a victim neither. Contrast, Friction and other people's point of view helps me to grow. Leaving the Pisces epoch and welcoming the Aquarian Epoche. I would love to meet people Constructing things in spite of their circumstances. Going on a hike, enjoying simple things in life. I don't want to be with the comatose anymore. Just a Generator like me making things happen wherever we go. Thank you for keeping sharing with all of us in spite of what others think. Hugs.

[@LawofMosesHere]

🙄

[@TheDucattiYvon]

May all beings be blessed with love ❤❤❤

[@tax-free-strategies]

Wow!!! I just found your channel and listening to you for the first time... this is reality changing information!!! THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU!!!

[@123sanoon]

My mother feels deep shame and thus makes me feel like I can't say anything critical about here even tho it is like a part or a realistic situation and just a human-to-human connection. It is like you are in a mental prison to not hurt other people's feelings but the other feels like their feelings are of the utmost importance. The problem, like in everything in life, is that people don't choose to live in love, so the world becomes an enemy to fight rather than a joy to experience. If she would open her heart to me in the present moment we could both joyously connect but she continues to live in fear. 😥

[@jeffwinters5362]

I have listened/read Sooo many different things on Shame/Shaming. I’ve heard “I/they live behind a wall of shame” and yet they do not understand the entire concept. It’s been impossible and frustrating to have the one I’ve tried and tried and tried to have them “Get it” and understand what it is. This is BY FAR the BEST detailed easy to understand one yet. Well done. Love your videos.

[@lunkerjunkie]

we can feel it when we disobey

[@jessicaselenecenteno]

Teal, I LOVE your extreme examples. 😂❤

[@killerparkourcrew5954]

First comment. Thank you very much for everything master 🙏😇

[@0xiconicsoul52]

I needed to watch this 3 years ago

[@Mahogui.]

8:07 Nice timing Teal Swan! I'm going through this dynamic 😢

[@anushkafernando7046]

Tealllllllll please do a video on the Nervous system.. and how it resists success relationship and money coming in ?? or even the amount of money to come in ?

[@melina4559]

Perfect timing! Thank you ❤❤❤

[@douglausbeedles4717]

Love you all ❤️❤️❤️

[@Mahogui.]

6:19 I'm like that politician. I need specific partner in my life to be a certain way that accomodates my area of lifestyle. If they don't want to change their ways (even them knowing it's impacting negatively in my life) they are free to do so somewhere else. 7:07

[@chris.struwe]

In German we have a 'wonderful' word called "fremdschämen" which means "to feel ashamed for sth. someone else did". Perfectly fitting for the German guilt and shame culture and probably also a co-effect of being the compensator who does not allow himself to stand up in the EU, leading down to the German people.

[@natushkhan]

5:00, 6:05, 7:08, 7:40, 9:17 Stepss: 9:29, 10:06, 10:43, 12:00, 13:30

[@bunnybdiamond8223]

Thank you so much for your help. I really love your content❤

[@yelenam8176]

Please look up videos and books by the following. It will heal you! Ekhard Tolle, Deepak Chopra, Ram Dass, Alan Watts, Michael Sealey, Byron Katie, Gary Zukav, John Kehoe, then you'll understand why Teal is a charlatan.

[@tonybond9914]

Wow, right now dealing with shame in life, and this vid❤

[@yasaiasazuke]

There is a concept of shame that is somewhat more complex and requires autonomous self reflection rather then primal emotions such fear of a stick and the joy of the bonus cookie.

[@sharonjenkins720]

Thank you! Honestly, it’s about time this video was made by Teal. I feel like this had just been a big problem in society since Covid times began.. Love that it’s being talked about through Teal’s articulate mind.

[@bjkumm6266]

Your are Beautiful Teal. And your history, completes you. What comes from you is from the heart. I long too study your word and can see the vision you give. Amen. God bless

[@yelenam8176]

Please look up videos and books by the following. It will heal you! Ekhard Tolle, Deepak Chopra, Ram Dass, Alan Watts, Michael Sealey, Byron Katie, Gary Zukav, John Kehoe, then you'll understand why Teal is a charlatan.

[@jonathankelly2655]

Synchronicity: just finished journaling about how most of my psychological defenses are about anticipatory shame.

[@shilohndrah]

Thank you Teal, this was so helpful!🙏🙏🙏❤❤❤

[@raphaelyvens3974]

Thanks teal swan

[@kawtarelh]

Thank you Teal

[@kaitnaylor06]

Preach truth! Thank you for this! I needed it today off all days.

[@bjorn47140]

Dear awesome and amazing Teal I love what you do so much you are such an amazing and awesome person, and I really love watching your videos

[@baxter6556]

Thank you for sharing your Wisdom. It's appreciated. ❤❤❤

[@marciopolizelli1862]

Consciência de auto-compaixão e nunca permitir que abusem e controlem seu próprio ser holístico. Continue sendo quem é em sua essência verdadeira. Obrigado Teal swan🦢. Awareness of self-compassion and never allowing them to abuse and control their own holistic being. Keep being who you are in your true essence. Thank you Teal swan🦢

[@VioletLaLaMoon]

Love your wisdom. It’s so concise. ❤❤

[@thedeadeye1111]

love you. and i mean it. love you

[@dawnmaestascowell6930]

Thank you kind soul

[@CherylJKirk]

Please do a full video on mutual consideration!

[@williamhunter4294]

Thank You😊😊

[@anthonypease1072]

Truly insightful, thank you

[@cailax11]

This episode was needed

[@xoxchunaxox]

right on time , per usual 🙏❤‍🔥🔥

[@maikhendrik8966]

Wow, you are good

[@kimberleydiann771]

Thank you Teal. 💫

[@llfnovaes]

She is so smart ir hurts

[@amirabialy6178]

Amazing one 🔥 thank you Teal 🙏🏻

[@amirhosseinsheikholeslam4575]

Damn teal love the jacket

[@bruceprigge5212]

Thank you ! 😊

[@TheGAGAFULL]

Great video Teal

[@thedeadeye1111]

you help me a lot. thank you. 😭😭😭😭😭😭❤❤❤

[@annaschafermeier6670]

love you teal. thank you

[@maryakh4000]

Thanks

[@lisetteramos6415]

Thank you. 🌈💯👽❤️

[@self_learning_guide]

😮😮😮 Are you really still living well after accumulating such kind of knowledge??? My deep honest appreciation and gratitude for all the battles you have went through inorder to exists in this world.. Thank you so so much for sharing this tough video.. For showing up your innerself despite your vulnerability and self-limitations.. For smiling and sharing with us your artistic style.. For delivering these powerful messages to all of us.. You won't imagine how delightful am I by finding your channel.. ❤❤❤

[@williammcmullen1292]

OMG i love green eyes

[@alirh1145]

Hi teal thank you for all these videos they are really helpful can you make a video about perfectionism and how to overcome it ?

[@annemarieeunice6083]

Yes I really love your style. I’m interested in how to heal fully from sexual abuse and physical violence, please let me know which video to watch…. ❤

[@yelenam8176]

Please look up videos and books by the following. It will heal you! Ekhard Tolle, Deepak Chopra, Ram Dass, Alan Watts, Michael Sealey, Byron Katie, Gary Zukav, John Kehoe, then you'll understand why Teal is a charlatan. She was not abused.

[@sailyx3jupy]

I cannot tell you how many people have attacked me because they felt shame by something I said. It doesn't take much to piss people off.

[@stevengagne7015]

I would like to embody this because I’m hypersensitive and like your empath video, yeah it’s been a defensive tactic and I’m just now realizing it because I’ve notice how codependency is a part of it but I also have had this fear of hurting someone with being assertive or someone feeling superior over me and I don’t like it anymore.

[@ligerllama]

Teal! Howdy! 🤠👋

[@johntenuto-motivationalcon8810]

Thank you for sharing your wisdom! john tenuto

[@matimoi]

Come to Portugal

[@ddavfox]

I've been in jail inside myself my entire life. I found some hope.

[@blue_sky_bright_sun7599]

Coolest jacket! 😁

[@samdountnorez6530]

True

[@samdountnorez6530]

Being shamed and manipulated everyday... Yet, I'm finding the positives and enjoying the moments. I know I can flip the script, serve the same dish. But not petty because of power dynamics.

[@samdountnorez6530]

Knowing I can and doing two different depending on power dynamics and informed, neither of im not confident atm.

[@donkuemusic]

This a fly ass jacket

[@soulfood712]

Teal.I know I can reach you by this text .Please make a video on students . People with anxiety, depression and hormonal imbalance.Suffering from hypothyroidism.I don't study.Stopped going college.Please .I need your guidance.

[@Makisimama]

Much love Teal, Thy Kingdom Come. Romans 10:11 The more you believe the promises of God, the less your shame will have a hold on you. The more often you study God's Word, the more truth you'll store in your heart to overcome the lies of shame. Renew your faith in God each day through Bible study and prayer.

[@courtney8772]

this is exactly the comment i needed to read🙏🏻

[@DFNUVS]

NAMASTE

[@danielrocks5]

I want that earwax, i mean birthday cake... dont know what my mind thinks sometimes haha

[@Keepersoftheflame]

Chiron in Tauras 6th house. Not percived or feared... real and actual consquences that rarely hold water. Sometimes there are actual real life consquences not just ghosts. People that have that or similar placements are going to be swimming in that with the planets digging thier heals in the wounded healers sand. You are simply being foreced into authenticity. You are not made to conform but to carve out those who would like to take a hammer and chizzle to your life. No one should be holding those but you. If you want to do it for someone cool. But NO one should be holding you hostage with threats of dismissal or abandonment for just being you. Just a sign to move in a different direction. Learn all you can from it and keep going.

[@briellehunter7233]

Me: Slapping me across the face is abuse. My mom: You’re abusing me right now.

[@davidgarcia9944]

Constant evolution 🧬 🌋🦎. I figured out . That the ones that hate. Will hate every version. 🤯 The ones that love. Will support regardless. 🤡. Same people that want you to change. Won't accept any improvement. instead they become more insecure. Mostly just critics no one should take them seriously. The opinion of the ones that lead by example is more important. Thanks.🙌

[@davidgarcia9944]

I could not open the app. I downloaded it but I could not log in. What is this about.

[@yelenam8176]

Please look up videos and books by the following. It will heal you! Ekhard Tolle, Deepak Chopra, Ram Dass, Alan Watts, Michael Sealey, Byron Katie, Gary Zukav, John Kehoe, then you'll understand why Teal is a charlatan. She is a completely different person behind closed doors.

[@alexsekai]

❤❤🥰

[@GoddessHabits]

First 🎉

[@Andrea-Rose]

💜💜💜

[@Mark-bj4um]

Master stroke, Teal. Thank you for this lesson. I needed this lesson 50 years ago- but glad to get it now-…sigh.

[@kawikakon2646]

In Real life there are people who did not apply "it" there studies and some did not use it Eventually it's called EVOlution "Emotional bypassing" indirect and or passive. The savior word is -Humillty- Observe it get to no it, teal if it ever came such ann Addversity adversery per-haps some people find there shame to be formidable. Threw thee word Heumillty u can find whats not yours. Guild dose not love its OK not to formality to love . If it's so harmful let life take its corse let the opt out for reconciliation to reconcile if not. The turm or words are called

[@maryakh4000]

💚💚💚

[@noonenooneneither3838]

Sorry I meant entering Aries no Aquarius. : D

[@vampirevillage1579]

I miss when you talked about magick

[@lightstream3]

It's alright to say, scream, highlight, even yodel a personal truth. People will forgive you hopefully

[@jadaaleeshamindexpert7365]

First... Or fourth

[@ebbenielsen7]

Can anyone explain what she means with: "We create an internal triangulation dynamic against ourselves,".

[@PoisonLatex]

Triangulation is a form of manipulation. Example: if a partner or friend uses another person to create a hostile environment, create drama, or pressure you into doing things you wouldn't otherwise do, this is triangulation. Triangulation is a term used to describe when a person uses threats of exclusion or manipulation. An internal triangulation dynamic is simply we're internalizing manipulation upon ourselves. Such as being shamed or feeling shamed.

[@PoisonLatex]

Feeling shame would fall under internal triangulation.

[@lizg2153]

• Someone external -> shames you (one corner of the triangle) • You -> shame yourself because of this (2nd corner of the triangle) • The part you've shamed about yourself -> the target. (3rd corner of the triangle) Triangulation, internalized. Basically you gang up on yourself, siding with someone else to try to gain their approval.

[@ebbenielsen7]

@@PoisonLatex Thank you ...

[@ebbenielsen7]

@@lizg2153 Thank you ...

[@JemDreamz]

😱

[@elliottjames671]

STUDY NATURAL LAW WITH MARK PASSIO.

[@cecilia3335]

So shaming is social construct 😂😅