The Dysfunctional Family Onscreen - The New “Normal”

[@thetake]

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[@CaseyBlase]

Honey just saved me like $80 on a $300 table from Joannes Fabric.

[@kittykittybangbang9367]

Could you please do video on the angsty teen trope, the quiet kid trope, and how LGBT+ characters are almost always female and never male.

[@Browneyedgirl-m9b]

What about the shows Blackish and Fresh Off the Boat? The Goldbergs?

[@millsgurl8358]

Dysfunctional families are fun to watch, but only as long as they don't condone/nornalize abuse or spread the message of "we have to stick together because we're family" even when the family is toxic.

[@troyjardine5850]

(Cough) the continued abuse of Meg Griffen isn't funny (cough)

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

Yes

[@Quetzalcoatl-Dragon_97]

My family in a nutshell.

[@charisleighmusic]

Cough Shameless cough

[@mewesquirrel6720]

What do you think a dysfunctional family is🤣🤣

[@mathildesrensen4960]

I feel like the word “dysfunctional” is being used kinda wrong in this video. There is a difference between chaotic, realistic and diverse family and dysfunctional family’s.

[@lordfreerealestate8302]

And a difference between imperfect and toxic/abusive.

[@happygucci5094]

🎯

[@aldullton3214]

I don't like this idea that you have to be around your family no matter what they say or do to you, you just have to suck it up and still "love" them even when they're physically or emotionally abusive. It's utter bullshit and I hate it. You do not have to put up with anyone mistreating you. You can leave all those fuckers behind and never see them again if they don't love you the right way. We are not bound to our families, we can be free from the pain and dysfunction.

[@steamboatwill3.367]

This.

[@TheLeah2344]

Thank you! My family tried to tell me I’m wrong for not wanting to give my dad another chance when he was never in my life. I gave him chances in the past and he still gave me excuse after excuse. He couldn’t even be there for me in my adult life. It’s not up to me who did not choose to be here. It’s up to HIM to rebuild the relationship.

[@camelopardalis84]

Way too many people argue - in effect - that family members and other relatives have to meet lower standards for being considered "worth" staying in touch with. The underlining logic being that family members (and to a lesser degree other relatives) "love each other, after all". But that's illogical: Family members actually need to meet *higher* standards in order to reasonably considered being "worth" staying in touch with. Both because it's reasonable to demand better treatment from your own father than from your neighbour due to the whole "love thing" - your father is the one who's "supposed to" love you and therefore have a much easier time treating you well than your neighbour *and* because because you didn't pick your family members and other relatives. Your cousin is just some woman who's twelve years older than you. A woman you saw a couple of times a year when you were a child. This is no-one you ever chose to (initially) have in your life, unlike even those of your work colleagues you voluntarily spend your coffee break with. Your cousin needs to put in more effort - simply in the "being decent" department - to make you want to spend time with her. The work colleagues you voluntarily spend time with were "attractive" to you for something more tangible than sharing some genes.

[@Ashandonyx]

Yes! ♡

[@AR-yi4qn]

Say it again 👏 it's not helpful for anyone involved or the rest of society to get trapped into that cycle of abuse, neglect or toxic dysfunction

[@TheLeah2344]

As someone who grew up in a dysfunctional family with a single mother because my father cheated on my mother and abandoned us, it’s not “ fun “. It may look like that on tv but in real life it isn’t. I wished I had a stable family and I wish my father stayed in my life. I remember back then when other kids would talk about their fathers and would ask me about my dad and I had to tell them I didn’t have a father. I hated Fathers Day because it was a reminder that my father did not want me. I had to go to therapy because of my abandonment issues.

[@lordfreerealestate8302]

Real dysfunctional families aren't quirky they're abusive and deeply broken.

[@zotharr]

As somebody who also grew up in a dysfunctional family, its not about being or making it fun. It's about being able to laugh at ourselfs... Laughing is a pretty good coping mechanism

[@loverrlee]

Me too. You’re not alone. I hope therapy is helping. 💗

[@fcv4616]

I’m sorry for you. I hope therapy is working. Remember that you have a life and opportunities ahead of you ❤️🙏🏻

[@Eosinophyllis]

My sister has constantly made my life hell. I feel like if it wasn’t constantly pushed that “oh, everyone loves you even if they don’t treat you like that” then my sister practically abusing my family would be taken seriously. I don’t think she even loves me, and I’m honestly considering just trying to disappear.

[@trinaq]

"You'd think living in a house full of crazy people would be fun. It's actually really depressing." Bart Simpson At least social services DID show up on one episode to relocate the Simpson kids, albeit it was only temporary.

[@AxxLAfriku]

IT is weird indeed. Everywhere I comment, people tell me how much they love me and my content. Sometimes IT is annoying. But right now, IT would be okay. So say something nice about my content, dear tri

[@clairewillow6475]

@Shep Proudfoot I hope things get better for you fingers crossed 🤞

[@clairewillow6475]

@Shep Proudfoot you’re welcome 😉

[@gummy5862]

@Pain Gain Frankly that’s just the curse of “modernization”. If everyone still lived in huts, we wouldn’t have a lot of these issues.

[@CuntyMisanthrope]

Let's be honest, funtional families have always been a rarity, we just don't mind showing it now.

[@trinaq]

That's true, most sitcoms focus on a dysfunctional family unit, because it's more ripe for drama, and subverts the more wholesome family sitcoms of the 50's and 60's.

[@kathryngeeslin9509]

But were early sitcoms "wholesome", or artificial, pretend? With everyone performing an assigned role on stage.

[@elchapojunior3091]

Dysfunctional families in sitcoms are so unrealistic. They portray it as “ah shucks, you guys can be a real drag sometimes, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything!” Real dysfunctional families are nothing you would want, can leave the children scarred, and often end with it eventually being torn apart.

[@CuntyMisanthrope]

@@elchapojunior3091 Absolutely. Abuse is abuse. Just because they're family doesn't mean you're gonna have this weird love-hate dichotomy. More often than not, you're just plain hate them lol

[@troyjardine5850]

That's true, but they can tone it down on the "idiot dad" and "nagging mom" tropes

[@edgaralanhoe2942]

Malcom in the middle was THE most relateble sh1t ever, the closest thing to my family that I've seen on tv

[@oanaalexia]

That's why it's been successful all over the world. Families related with Malcolm's.

[@jeringatai3156]

Aaaaannnnddddd. They werent dysfunctional either. They were quite realistic.

[@tamarleahh.2150]

@@jeringatai3156 they were dysfunctional alright, but so are many families

[@VioletEmerald]

@@jeringatai3156 the mom is abusive and unhappy (angry) 90% of the time, so yeah they're definitely super dysfunctional

[@oanaalexia]

@@VioletEmerald This is how you perceived her to be, I didn't agreed with her methods on some occasions but she provided stability to her children by being severe sometimes. You can't say she didn't loved her family, the actress did a great job.

[@birdiewolf3497]

Hmm, the takes view of dysfunctional is basically humans having flaws. To me that's not dysfunctional. To me, a family that has flaws and problems isn't what makes them dysfunctional, but the way they deal with them makes them dysfunctional. Like fresh off the boat can hardly be considered a dysfunctional family. They have problems, but they deal with them in a functional way.

[@marilima9986]

Same, not being perfect doesn't mean being dysfunctional

[@followingheartlines]

i dont think its the takes view of dysfunctional but the way media portrays it - i agree with you just felt to point out they are analyzing an existing media trope

[@birdiewolf3497]

@@followingheartlines Well, I don't think it works in that context either. I don't think the media sees all these families as dysfunctional. Especially if things like I love Lucy or the Brady bunch is supposed to be defined as functional. A lot of these families are just updated to reflect modern times and behavior.

[@helenegraham]

Yeah I totally agree. I've always been a little miffed at the movie and TV version of a dysfunctional family--just a few kooky characters who argue sometimes but always end up saying i'm sorry and i love you. I love my family, but I know from experience that broken families don't make up that easy or always find a solution; sometimes things get more broken and communication becomes worse.

[@followingheartlines]

@@birdiewolf3497 mm fair point. seems its now a term thats become so broadly used its lost its meaning and probably relevance - like mpdg - where anything remotely contrary to upper middle class heternormative standards is "dysfunctional".

[@Pickoffarwim]

The problem I have with Dysfunctional families is they all feel the same and are never actually taken seriously. It would be nice to get a story of one of the family members who actually realizes just how shit it is to be around miserable people and tries to distance themselves from them and become their own person

[@TheLeah2344]

Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle did try to choose his own destiny but Lois ruined that.

[@BlueRoseFaery]

Malcolm in the Middle actually does this with the eldest brother joining the military to escape.

[@indieflopqueen]

@@BlueRoseFaery francis was sent to military school by hal and lois because of his misbehavior. it wasn't his choice, and he hates it there

[@albeebestre1935]

Bojack Horseman, succession, game of thrones, basically any good show that's not a sitcom

[@afgusti4269]

@@albeebestre1935 Bojack acknowledge abusee

[@witchplease9695]

Bob's Burgers appeals to me because while the family is flawed, they aren't dysfunctional at all. They love, support, and accept each other with all their quirks, but also tease and call each other out often. Bob complains about them sometimes and how they suck at the restaurant business, but his actions make it clear how much he truly adores his wife and kids, and it's wonderful how much freedom he and Linda give the kids to be themselves and get into some kid shenanigans, especially considering it was implied that their own childhoods were restrictive. They both decided to do better with/for their kids. The Addams family is another perfectly functional "dysfunctional" family. I personally don't like it when fictional families are cruel and spiteful with each other even if it's for "comedic" purposes. I think people need to see more flawed yet functional happy families in media that love and support each other through their struggles, especially younger audiences. Reality already has enough dysfunction.

[@millsgurl8358]

Yeah need less dysfunctional family that are toxic or abusive and more of dysfunctional family that involved morr of flaws within the family but they work it out

[@lucypreece7581]

I mean I'm a child of divorce. The fairytale got broken ages ago. Life is not a sitcom it's an award winning drama that come along with a million plot twists and it comes along to punch you in the gut ever half hour just to remind you that you have feelings. My family is not a comedy, it's a tragedy.

[@Quetzalcoatl-Dragon_97]

Need a hug?

[@MariaJoseRangelUwU]

Girl same, I’m the child my dad had with his mistress

[@ang2624]

EXACTLY

[@Asmanaziir]

I love my family but i can't stay in touch with my abusive parents as long as they don't admit they were wrong and try to change.

[@matheussanthiago9685]

well, if it serves of any solace being a kid of ''for the love of god just get a divorce already'' is not great also

[@sophie2946]

I like the realism but hate when it normalises toxic behaviour or even abuse between siblings as “kids”.

[@summerchild6085]

This is a weird “take” on dysfunctional family. As a person who grew up in one: it takes years of therapy to let some of that behind you. It’s not okay to romanticize this abusive dynamics, it doesn’t make you resourceful, it traumatizes you. I’m not saying all dysfunctional families are abusive, but the circumstances that lead to dysfunction are mostly really bad and force some unhealthy coping mechanisms on people.

[@SureTina]

This! So much!

[@Octobre1986]

They don't show abusive families, more chaotic and weird ones.

[@Exsugarbabe1]

The "perfect" family is a myth, every family is made of imperfect people. Waving "perfect" families in peoples faces is ridiculous and not entertaining.

[@matheussanthiago9685]

@@Octobre1986 there is so much room for overlaps here

[@hobihope2981]

From the examples in this video, the only "chaotic and weird" families that arent blatantly abusive are from... Bobs Burgers, Modern Family, and Schitt's Creek. Which all three of these could even be debated- - BB: underage, unpaid labor - MF: Jay. - SC: emotional neglect I think society has finally realized just how many different ways your family can really mess you up (see: Bobs Burgers ep Bob Fires the Kids). We've come to understand certain things we didn't think were all that bad (or were weird/quirky) were actually forms of neglect or emotional abuse. Not all abuse results in bruises & scars.

[@myosotismalva]

At this point we need to bring back those "perfect" families because the toxicity is at its all time high. Some of us don't even know what healthy is anymore.

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

With hopefully those perfect families including poc, poor people, those with history of mental health, single parents, extended families, and same-sex

[@1957DLT]

I don't even need 'perfect' families, I just would rather watch families that weren't insulting to each other for laughs. So tired of that trope.

[@emmacook3065]

As someone who grew up in a toxic family, leave it to beaver was one of my favorite shows. I know that the show isn’t like real life- but there is a lot missing in my life that ward cleaver teaches me about. I know that life can be better thanks to that show. They show a genuine lack of narcissism and acceptance that I never had and I think that’s beautiful. So many dysfunctional family stories trigger me more often than not.

[@SlapstickGenius23]

@@1957DLT I understand your opinion.

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

@@emmacook3065 I wanna see more love for my Avatar mom Lois Foutley

[@Nanthecowdog]

I’d argue I Love Lucy was a deviation from the norm. Lucy was not a typical house wife, she was way too head strong- and a huge mess.

[@somethingcooliguess]

Was here to say this! Neither Lucy and Ricky nor Fred and Ethel were idyllic suburbanites. They were a metropolitan biracial couple that had antics but clearly loved each other.

[@lauranelson2070]

That's true. Lucy was always scheming and butting heads with her husband.

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

Call me crazy but I do like to see more examples of families that love and support each other, and grow I think I might drive better in a more harmonious setting but wouldn't know how to deal. More families like the Addams Family

[@trinaq]

I agree, the Addams Family are actually a close knit, supportive family, in spite of their obvious eccentricities. It's what makes them stand apart many other sitcom clans.

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

@@trinaq I would love for them to do an analysis of Matilda and how the movie still stands out for suggesting that think that it may be best to leave your dysfunctional family unit and create your own

[@millsgurl8358]

Agree

[@wolfone8538]

I Agree too! Smartpants you're right 😊

[@march.286]

Try with Central Park, I love that show. The Hunt family is great, not because everything they do is easy o they are perfect, but because they all have each other’s backs, they all have different and individual struggles according to who they are, but nobody ever act like “this is a kid problem, it’s not important” or “this should only concern the adults”. Everyone is important and nobody stays behind

[@AR-yi4qn]

Sorry really don't love this take...there is a huge differemce between being imperfect and being dysfunctional. If a family is chaotic, with growing pains BUT there is a solid and consistent attempt at providing love and support that's not dysfunction, thats just being human. True dysfunctional families are families that get trapped in toxic/abusive/neglectful cycles and they do active damage to both themselves and society

[@lordfreerealestate8302]

I also hate the "they're still your family" garbage. We wouldn't be talking this way about abusive spouses. This video is hurtful to me as a survivor of child abuse.

[@unfabulouslyfabulous]

The on screen “dysfunctional” family I most relate to is One Day At a Time. I too was raised in a cuban household with my abuela, single mom, and sister and it warms my heart to see such positive representation ♥️♥️

[@amandak.5967]

That show is so great :)

[@renji90998]

Dysfunctional families are usually a one-sided perspective from one family member. Take Malcolm in the Middle: there is a theory that his family is the way that they are is because that's how he sees them. Sometimes they can be helpful as long as they're not spreading a toxic message. Like saying your family isn't the only one that has these problems, or at least your family isn't as bad as the ones on TV

[@josefk7437]

I thought that on Malcolm in the Middle, the characters toss around the sympathy ball and the idiot ball, but that Lois has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

[@Missmagazinebura]

Yes it’s Malcolms point of view

[@matheussanthiago9685]

that would be because dysfunctional families have assigned roles, and the ''escape-goat'' child usually is the first, and often only, member that gets to speak out his version to a psychiatrist that's actually how we first got to learn about these repeating patterns in the first place

[@kanvaros4451]

I honestly hate this trope a ton . I know it’s more “real” but to me the escapism of the family who love each other and will always look out for one another , accept one another , protect one another , and believe in one another to me is way better for my mental health then another family where the people hate each other and wouldn’t hesitate to shoot each other in the face of it was needed for their self interest.

[@millsgurl8358]

True. There's a need for more representation of family that are healthy and support one another. And for me, it depend on how the trope is executed. For example, if the family realize they need to work on their issues and don't hurt each other emotionally or physically than that's good. What not good if the family condemn these issues as normal

[@erincarr9411]

I feel like many of these families show how they can make up, and be better families through all the turmoil of life.

[@jamarsh09]

Honestly I feel like what they showed needs another name because you can be dysfunctional and still show supportive wholesome family's. Bob burgers shows that everyone's a mess but at least there a mess that love each other I find it really sweet

[@sinnsage]

ya but the Bluths are pretty much the only family mentioned that is *actually* like that

[@sinnsage]

@Sleepy Celeste that’s so weird to me that you find malcolm in the middle to be like that…to me it was a very realistic depiction, but the parents love each other, the brothers scrap with each other but the audience is often shown that they all really love and care for each other and will stand up for each other when it comes down to it on numerous occasions.

[@3hpleft]

Let's make sure to distinguish between chaotic families and toxic families. I feel like we are not in this video.

[@nihalnihal9356]

truee

[@erincarr9411]

They kinda touched on the chosen family. Maybe they will do a video on that

[@millsgurl8358]

Hope the take do the found family trope

[@annejohnson5875]

I don't agree with including "I Love Lucy" as part of the 50's nuclear family myth. How many times did Ricky and Lucy fight about including her in his shows. Fred and Ethel did nothing but bicker. They were all quite dysfunctional.

[@Nightman221k]

Agreed. Lucy was feisty and not a docile housewife who always took her husband’s lead.

[@UnboxingAlyss]

I was thinking this when they mentioned the show. While Lucy was a housewife, she was constantly trying to get out of the house and do a lot of different things. She definitely wasn't the typical housewife of her time.

[@ESCSteph]

@@UnboxingAlyss That's exactly what I was thinking too!

[@UnboxingAlyss]

@Jamie bryant Agree wholeheartedly.

[@Caterfree10]

Tbh the point of “dysfunctional families prove the value of family” thing just makes me wish we had some depictions of people actually leaving their families and being better for it. Blood family isn’t everything and it’s exhausting that that’s always pushed, even when home life is shown to be shit.

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

Matilda

[@Caterfree10]

@@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254 okay one film out of… How many goddamn examples? And one that was made like 20 YEARS ago?

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

@@Caterfree10 OK, don't have to be rude.

[@Caterfree10]

@@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254 you can stop thinking one movie is a whole ass counter trend.

[@Missmagazinebura]

Gossip girl

[@SarahTennyo]

I object to the use of the Belcher family without talking about how, weird as they are, they are one of the most functional families ever put on TV. Those people love and support each other massively.

[@austinwalker240]

They are surprisingly wholesome.

[@misabelrodriguez1163]

The video mentioned that dysfunction can be caused by work, but the kids love working in the restaurant. And they got upset the time Bob fires them and they later worked at a blueberry farm that secretly was a pot farm as well. It was a fun episode.

[@monica.hdez1]

Yesss! They love and support each other's weirdness and it's adorable

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

Johnny2Cellos did an episode on them

[@mariedit9935]

dysfunctional families are one of my favorite things to watch onscreen, it never gets old for me BUT some of its tropes like the father who hates his job and family, the mother who hates her life entirely, and the bullied kid ANGER me. I've had enough of all that. Give me more of Bob's Burgers

[@natalie651]

I've said this before and I'll say it again. You need to do your research before using the terms lower, middle, and upper class. You use them all the time, erroneously. The Banks in Fresh Prince of Belair are not upper-middle class, they're upper class. That's why they're so rich, which is a central part of the show. Rory's grandparents in The Gilmore Girls, upper class, not upper-middle like you said.

[@TabbyeLynne]

And the Gallaghers are not working class, they are poor

[@loverrlee]

If they think those rich families are only upper-middle class, how rich are they?? 😅

[@MsDiMera2]

I don't know if I would call the Banks upper class ,upper middle class makes more sense since they were well off but still professionals and Mr. Banks was a lawyer clearly working in a well -respected profession which he was very successful at. I would definitely call Rory's grandparents upper class , it was clear their wealth was inherited ,they had lived wealthy lives even in their youth ,they lived off their wealth and investments and didn't seem under pressure to be defined by a well-respected profession.

[@corasprojects6942]

"I Love Lucy" was not a perfect nuclear family. For starters Ricky Riccardo was not white. Lucy was a terrible money manager and always getting into sceams. They might not have been as disfuctional as the families of today's TV but they still broke the mold.

[@nidohime6233]

What it has to do with a character ethnic´s background with being part of a disfuctional family?

[@beauenferae2438]

@@nidohime6233 I Love Lucy came out during the 1950s. Having a character who wasn't white was extremely uncommon. Especially if that character was romantically with a white person (interracial marriage was still illegal in some parts). So having a Latino character was very abnormal.

[@march.286]

I think this take has a problem understanding what disfuncional actually means. For example, I don’t feel like Malcom’s family is disfuncional for the thing they showed,, and with Bob’s Burgers is not a disfuncional Family, they are just middle working class. Having an adjusted economy is not being disfuncional, neither is having a family with gay people of people from other countries. Being disfuncional it means something is not able to function, like Bojack Horseman’s family, and that is nothing to be praised. Just because a family doesn’t follow the standards of the Donna Reed Show, it doesn’t mean is automatically disfuncional

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

The Belchers are wholesome. Johnny2Cellos did a video on them

[@march.286]

@@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254 I agree, it's a cool show, and I don't like the attitude of this, it says "look how much evolved we are about families”, but in reality it still puts families with LGBT+ members and not from USA members in the same bag of an over controlling figure, but that's a whole different trope. I'm not even sure is Malcolm's family is so dysfunctional as it says, after all, they do have economic problem, Lois is a bossy mother, and the boys are always getting in pranks and chaos, but they also do support and care for each others and they do progress and try do better. Even the fact they are a menace to the neighborhood is seen it like something positive in a chapter were Malcolm learns that they being the bad ones is what makes the neighbours get along based in their hate for them, it's like they are a functional family in a very dysfunctional disguise

[@selena1731]

missed opportunity is talking about full house, everybody loves raymond and the addams family.

[@millsgurl8358]

Oh yeah big time. Especially Everyone loves Raymond because looking back on it, that family was dysfunctional as hell, and not in a funny way, but toxic way, especially Maria. Debra deserve better

[@millsgurl8358]

The Addams family is an example of a good family that love and support each other

[@GenerationNextNextNext]

I guess Full House was considered dysfunctional for its time.

[@pillbugm8914]

No one is talking about this but I just love including the Royal Tenenbaums in this discussion. It was so influential for later dysfunctional families and showed how a dysfunctional family can have a lifelong effect and stop us from functioning to our best whilst also being very empathetic to the characters. Just showing some love for my favorite movie.

[@nicokeacola52]

I feel like theres been a problem with destaturating the trope. Where it went from having flawed but loving family's that gave relatable realism it instead grew out of proportion and treated toxic families like they were normal. It's better when they portray them as just not perfect rather than neglectful and borderline abusive.

[@_Alimm]

I think a great topic for analysis is the single parent in television and film. There's so much to be said.

[@ZeroSubarashii]

Dysfunction shouldn't be normal, but since it is, maybe the goal should be to work on and improve those things- if that doesn't work, leave it behind you, as you must also love yourself.

[@matheussanthiago9685]

''we don't do this here'' - my parents about trying to improve things

[@estefanypineda23]

I need to watch everyone hates Chris again

[@kimberleywilliams7802]

Iconic, my favourite TV show of all time.

[@andreasmeelie1889]

Exactly how I was feeling!😂

[@malon-]

just because some toxic behavior happens in families does not mean it is okay :'( just as putting up with it only for the reason they are part of the family.

[@katabirajonathan9909]

The portrayal of functional families on television just showed how folks are just good at keeping up appearances and projecting a false image of perfection which is forced and manufactured but the dysfunctional family on the other hand is more realistic in its execution to audience members and I think screen writers should find ways of expanding on this in the future when it comes to television.

[@camelopardalis84]

"Malcolm and his brothers Reese and Dewey are ... gifted" is a sentence no-one even remotely familiar with the show would ever say. Edit: UNLESS you want to count Reese's talents in the kitchen.

[@gaillewis5472]

I just never got into these shows. I tried watching most of them but couldn't see the entertainment value of family members being mean to each other.

[@kirstenirwin9084]

Sure, the perfect family is a fantasy, but don't glamorize toxic and abusive family dynamics. However, the nuclear family shouldn't be demonized because society starts with the family.

[@darlalathan6143]

I think "The Take" defines a dysfunctional family as an "imperfect TV or movie comedy family," rather than real life's "household or kin group of substance abusers and codependents or abusers and survivors." My family had an abusive alcoholic father, uncle, and grandfather, emotionally, physically, and financially abusive mother, and several cousins with psychosis, substance abuse, and criminal records for domestic violence, child abuse, drug-dealing, assaulting police officers, and " gangsta" rap musician. It wouldn't even make a good Tyler Perry movie, much less a sitcom, lol! Of course, I liked "Leave It to Beaver" and "I Love Lucy" but I also liked "Married With Children" and "The Simpsons," lol!

[@1sdani]

This is my family. I found it, all on my own. It's little, and broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good. - Stitch Pelekai

[@lanab644]

I typically love The Take's perspective and have watched and enjoyed your videos. However, I take issue with you equating alternative kinds of families (blended, LGBT, socio-economically challenged) with dysfunctional families. The whole point of these programs was to show that it's ok to be different and that these families WERE still quite functional. They love and support each other at the end of the day despite whatever challenges they face. I grew up with one parent who was a narcissist and another that had bipolar disorder which went undiagnosed throughout my entire childhood. There was neglect and abuse. It wasn't hunky dory at the end of the day. It was hard and I am not better off by any means for it. So if you want to uplift representation of families that aren't cookie cutter, find a better way to say that. Because dysfunctional families shouldn't be lauded. They should be encouraged to find help toward being more functional and healthy. Thanks.

[@marikimi7]

I sincerely wish to see more functional families and healthy relationships on tv. Watching something where the characters are toxic really affect me.

[@yolandacarroll558]

"The ultimate message of the dysfunctional family is that all families exist with some level of dysfunction and that's ok." - This is so true. I recently had someone ask me to help write their obituary so that it would "gloss over" some family dysfunction... from 80+ years ago. And I'm actually going to do it. While it doesn't matter to me, I understand why it matters to them. This is why I'm so glad we now have "dysfunctional families" on screen. I feel that seeing them lessens some of the stigma of not having a perfect family.

[@nothemba1982]

I loved every minute of this video. While it's still fresh on my mind, I'm gonna call my parents and thank them for how they raised me - they really did a good job amidst the chaos of living with extended family members; I wouldn't trade them for anything.

[@delluca580]

The tragedy of real life is that the issues never get addressed as in the reel life, you always left with grudge , resentment and incomplete conversation in real life.. you never get that endearing meaningful relation if you have dysfunctional family.

[@DC-wk7yo]

You started out strong, but crash landed in end with your take away

[@XandriaRavenheart]

Dysfunctional families might be fun to watch. But it takes a huge emotional toll on you when you're actually a part of one, so better not stick around with your dysfunctional family in real life.

[@Sam-tg6vc]

You need to do the disapproving father-in-law trope

[@kittykittybangbang9367]

or how father/brothers try to control their daughters/sisters's sexuality by not letting them have a boyfriend or not wanting them to wear revealing clothes.

[@Sam-tg6vc]

@@kittykittybangbang9367 YEAH like Ross from Friends being so controlling over Monica!

[@mewesquirrel6720]

@@kittykittybangbang9367 So because he doesn't want his teenage daughter to fat yet, he's controlling her sexuality 🤣🤣. No parent wants their kid to look like "Pretty Woman"

[@millsgurl8358]

And the disapproving mother-in-law too

[@SlapstickGenius23]

@@Sam-tg6vc hey! Even 1990s Bollywood films have dads who can’t even let their daughters run wild and free in terms of their choices!

[@unorthodoxblackgirl8112]

But what family is 100 functional? It wasn’t until I was older and got to know people outside the box I met them in that I realized.... “OMGGGGGG I’m NOT the only one with crazy ass dysfunctional family.”

[@GenerationNextNextNext]

The fact that so many people actually do relate to dysfunctional families enough to give these shows ratings is a problem within society itself. It's sad we can't all relate to Leave It to Beaver or even more functional families.

[@josefk7437]

Dysfunctional families prove that people should be able to break away from their families. If a family goes beyond dysfunctional and into abusive or toxic territory, the characters on a dysfunctional family show can be an inspiration to cut off contact with a narcissistic parent or a mooch or other toxic family member.

[@konraddygudaj257]

Karl Marx: "Religion is the opiate of the masses." Carrie Fisher: "I did masses of opiates religiously. Carrie Fisher, Postcards from the Edge

[@trinaq]

I love that film, it's so underrated! I can't believe that it's based on Carrie Fisher's memoirs!

[@troyjardine5850]

Well, she did party with The Rolling Stones the day before shooting the Cloud City scenes (if you zoom in you can see her cokenail)

[@signet84]

@@troyjardine5850 It is said you can see that said nail in Return of the Jedi as well.

[@janel4429]

Helga from Hey Arnold would have been perfect to insert into this video. Her family was a mess of dysfunction

[@MTech07]

Why no mention to This is Us? I think sometimes we are tired of perfect families or dysfunctional ones. I like the example of real families put through the hardships of being alive and trying to solve it as a family and trying to raise to the occasion.

[@RubyRobbins88]

And all the people raised by narcissists collectively cringe. Toxicity and abuse are not quirky fun. This video is very optimistic about family disfunction. I see the point, but I feel they left out a message about seeking help for mental health and relational healing. There was an opportunity for them to make a distinction between normal disfunction paired with growth and emotional abuse. Some of these shows paint moments of abuse as jokes and a fun time. That's not ok.

[@ashleyjoseph8480]

Anyone notice that Malcolm was also in the 'middle' of the thumbnail lol

[@baronessvonginger1585]

The problem with the dysfunctional family being celebrated is that it greys the lines between dysfunction and straight up abuse and when people come forward about the abuse in families they are met with no support because everybody else writes it off as just dysfunction.

[@gxrodz]

When are we gonna get the rest of avatar the last air bender element analysis ?

[@sofisofi8141]

That is a good question!

[@TheLilyMustang]

The trope for genius advance children turn into depress broken adults are just like the kids that were in Talented & Gift Class

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

What do you say to people who feel like their mental health is in shreds because of their dysfunctional family?

[@millsgurl8358]

I wish the video express about that. Like what if the dysfunctional family is toxic and you need to cut them off, doesn't matter that you're related by blood.

[@wolfone8538]

@@millsgurl8358 true very true

[@thirdplanet4471]

It's one of those sad things because sometimes family can be really bad. I think it would be best to cut them off and get as much therapy as possible. And if the situation is really bad like in cases of abuse then call the police or child protective services.

[@lordfreerealestate8302]

I'm one of those, too. I feel like this video depicts toxicity as "quirky" and promotes the harmful "your family might hurt you but they still love you, and you need to love them" trope.

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

@@lordfreerealestate8302 So weird because The Take is otherwise progressive

[@stoplisteningtothestatic7078]

the Fishers of "Six Feet Under" are the closest thing to my family I've seen on TV. they do love each other, would die for each other, and are there in times of crises but are repressed and can’t properly communicate thoughts and feelings with each other

[@dezbiggs6363]

"Ultimately, we wouldn't wish it any other way." Bull shit!!!!! I did nothing but wish I had another family. My favorite movie was annie because I wished some rich father would take me away and treat me right.

[@lordfreerealestate8302]

I survived child abuse and I hate this video for these reasons. We wouldn't say this about an abusive spouse. This video perpetuates harmful ideas about family.

[@andreasmeelie1889]

I’m sorry that happened to you but I recently watched Annie and it’s one of my all time favorites!😇😍

[@tyriaxepheles7996]

I always thought TV families are so extreme to make the viewer feel superior even if the viewer has a dysfunctional family themselves

[@justanotheronlineobserver3387]

There is a thin line between disfunctunal but loving and abusive/toxic. Fortunatly some stories diferenciete the two.

[@TayTay-cp4fq]

at 2:16 i can't tell if that old woman is joking or not but i really, really, really, hate that line "but that's because we were a family" like that'll excuse all of the toxic shit in the family

[@millsgurl8358]

Yeah I feel like the take defend the dysfunctional trope more than of how the message it send at times is bad

[@flamebunny6511]

That’s the joke. It’s that you shouldn’t have a family like them.

[@ALtheuncommonicedragon8360]

What? Michael left with his son from his incredibly toxic family in both the original finale of Arrested development and in the extended one in S5.

[@Tinymoezzy]

I Love Lucy talked about how broke they were and how the budget was really tight. It is why Lucy was constantly shopping only sales items and even though later on through the seasons Ricky did grow more famous and earned more money still, they weren't sitting rich in the first 2-3 seasons.

[@valefiori8972]

I would love your take on the "Found family" trope now!

[@ladyvincenza]

I wouldn't describe some of these families as dysfunctional (maybe that says more about me than them), so much as just not perfect/idealized.

[@mbanerjee5889]

Thank you for including the Bluths' chicken dance. It never gets old. 🤣

[@sarahpalmer4464]

"You call your mother Mimi?" "Heinous One is a bit cumbersome and Medea was already taken..." (I've spent YEARS hoping to see Igby Goes Down in one of your videos and I'm so glad it's included here- it doesn't get the love it deserves!)

[@babsgrayson8432]

My house is absolute chaos. Literally, everytime I come home from somewhere, I stop outside the door and take a deep breath before going in.

[@nancyomalley6286]

R.I.P. Lucille Bluth aka Jessica Walter

[@matheussanthiago9685]

the only Karen type of character I've ever respected R.I.P.

[@DowntownTasty]

Jane did an amazing job as Lois in Malcolm in the middle. It would’ve not worked without here lmaooo. She reminded me of my mom

[@uniraffesaur]

Malcolm in the Middle always made me feel weird as a kid, because the atmosphere of their lives made me uncomfortable. I didn't dislike the show, I just was very uncomfy stepping into their world (ah yes, privilege). Not that we were that much better off, even, we just had a different dynamic, I think. But man is it a show I learned to appreciate when I grew up. Now that I have a clear frame of reference to the things they're dealing with, I can very much appreciate watching two people try to make ends meet to keep their family afloat while doing everything they can to keep their kids from flying off the handle. I didn't like Lois as a kid because she was always angry and yelling. I'm not even a parent, but damn, I get it now.

[@carbodude5414]

Rick and Morty is my favourite portrayal of the dysfunctional family because they eventually took control of the most toxic part of their family (Rick) and actually improved as a family in the process

[@GenerationNextNextNext]

When thinking about the scene with the Asian boy wearing Notorious BIG, the reason why young children of other backgrounds would relate to blk people was because there wasn't enough representation of themselves, and even still Asians and indigenous people lack that representation. So they merge themselves with the next best thing. They are just now seeing themselves through Kpop, though indigenous people still don't see themselves being represented. This same thing happened when Pocahontas was released in the 1990s, but the reverse. Blk girls would see themselves in her because she was one of the darkest female Disney princesses at the time. Though she was not the same background, she represented changing attitudes and a sense of representation and background we related to in some degree, even if not too personally. Just a thought.

[@Psiberzerker]

I would have added, or at least included The Ref (1994) because it compressed this dysfunction into a Microcosm. The structure of the progression is deceptively masterful. It starts with the couple, and if you watch the trailers, it looks like the Burglar is going to shake up their whole world. Then, the Extended family shows up, and "The Ref" just stands back. He doesn't referee, he doesn't interfere, because honestly what is he going to do when the man of the house is whacking the tree with a fire poker for attention?

[@AliFareedMC]

That's why I spent last year trying to turn my family into a sitcom

[@turnerburner922]

The more and more people get away from organized religion and overall fake-ness, the more honesty you will see on mainstream cinema.

[@UnboxingAlyss]

Good take, though I wish there had been more on POC and LGBT+ families in this vid.

[@mewesquirrel6720]

For me it depends on how you put it out there. Married with Children was dumb to me but The Middle was my fave. I don't see what's wrong with showing fuctional children from time to time

[@aleixpuig9809]

"all happy families are alike, but unhappy families are all alike in their own way" Leon Tolstoi

[@Mo-MuttMusic]

Thanks for discussing. I've leaned toward dysfunctional family sitcoms. They seem more emotionally honest. Shawn R., Mo-Mutt Music/Sacred & Secular

[@FranY16]

Where my Latino/Hispanic, lower class families at though?...

[@UnboxingAlyss]

I'm kind of upset that they didn't talk about more POC families. The ones featured in this video were overwhelmingly white, save Fresh Prince and Fresh Off The Boat.

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

The Brothers Garcia💐

[@gabrielamarcus]

I think there's not enough hispanic writers who can do this... Because the dynamics of a latino family can only be portrayed by someone who grew up in one. Not being racist, indeed Im mexican (that's why my english is not perfect)

[@FranY16]

@@gabrielamarcus I would have to agree. Not enough writers have been given the chance to write out and explore the intricate dynamics of being part of a BIPOC family.

[@FranY16]

@@UnboxingAlyss Yea... Noticed that too.

[@albasuarez3733]

I don't think those shows spread a good message when they forgive and love each other after having toxic and abusive behaviours. We also have to normalize quitting from a dysfunctional family. In those shows the characters always end up being happy together, they don't show the trauma and the consequences of living in a dysfunctional household.

[@sinnsage]

fuck malcolm in the middle was such a great show on so many different levels. every actor did and amazing job, it was so smart and creative.

[@tornadochaser2457]

His story will touch you, even though he can't... also, it'll make James Gunn's hair white.

[@jackthefrog80085]

And then there's the Griffin's, who are a special kind of disfunctonal. Even more than the Smith/Sanchez family from Rick and Morty

[@robchuk4136]

When I was a kid, I remember Step-by-Step coming out like a dysfunctional version of The Brady Bunch and I loved seeing that. Also, I don't think I've ever seen anyone talk about Captain Fantasic, but it is an AMAZING movie and I hope more people seek it out. Thank you!!!

[@Fluffkitscripts]

I propose a principle called the Simpsons effect, where a parody becomes the norm rather than inspire change. Take characters like mayor Quimby. At the time, his depiction as an unabashedly corrupt womanizer would’ve been scandalous, but something curious happened. _It got accepted as the norm for politicians._ As such satirical characters propagated, people realized they expected real politicians to be basically the same thing. The same thing happened with the Simpsons’ family dynamic. Now, families in stories and reality are just assumed to be naturally “quirky”.

[@keenoled]

Being a non-traditional messy family would be alright if people actually liked each other. Can say after years and years of therapy growing up with narcissistic and bullying behaviour, I've cut off basically all of them, and I've never felt calmer and less preyed upon.

[@whatever96]

I loveeeeeeeee dysfunctional families in the media. Makes me feel right at home. 🙂

[@annaogden7099]

Favorite channel on KZbin... Always impressed with your analysis!

[@WinterWind]

Functional and kind families exist and we should be promoting that. Doesn't have to be perfect, just uplifting rather than beating each other down. A marriage should be like that of the Harts on Hart to Hart. Nothing dysfunctional about it. Good tv too

[@XanderShiller]

I came to the US from the ex- Soviet Union as an 8y.o and my entire life I felt like we had a generation AND culture gap times 10. Communication was the 1st issue as I learned English and forgot Russian within a year while my parents - complete opposite. There's so much we want to, need to say to each other but we can't articulate these situations, put them into words, express them in context... And while we're all relatively intelligent, I've always been frustrated that we're never on the same page, or even the same book. I feel like my Russian is about as good as an 8yo child which adds a layer of insecurity bc im 35 and I sense they might think I'm retardevelopmentally challenged. I love them to death which makes the language barrier even harder to deal with.. I hope that makes sense 😕

[@temin2776]

Я надеюсь, что сейчас вы понимаете друг друга. Иногда трудно найти слова, даже говоря на одном языке.

[@XanderShiller]

@@temin2776 именно так. Вы далеко живёте или жили? Ю

[@XanderShiller]

[@temin2776]

Я всего лишь один из комментаторов. Я делаю субтитры и читаю комментарии на английском. Это помогает мне с языком и я хочу научиться делать хорошие субтитры для себя самой и для других людей, чтобы помочь им узнать больше интересных произведений. В последнее время я мало перевожу, мне сейчас трудно что-то делать. Поэтому я просто смотрю комментарии под разными видео. Я живу далеко, но я обычно не говорю о своих личных данных в интернете.

[@EclecticDD]

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. These shows exist because people watch them and networks make advertisement or subscription dollars.

[@nickyoude2694]

I'm surprised The Goldbergs wasn't mentioned here as that also comes with an obvious example of another trope, the helicopter parent. The kind of parent who micromanages their kids and its usually a helicopter mum. Beverly Goldberg, Maya Dimeo from Speechless and Jessica Huang from FOTB are all helicopter mums. Black-ish by contrast has a helicopter dad in the form of Andre Johnson.

[@SureTina]

Just because this is different than what was shown in the 50s, it just doesn't make it "better". Here in Spain, The Simpsons airs during lunchtime hours so families watch Homer shouting and strangling Bart and in abusive families, these mere acts become "normalized" since they see it on TV. The Take is taking a bad take (pun intended).