The Eternals - A Boring, Unfocussed Disaster

[@TheCriticalDrinker]

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[@tylerjohn2098]

Hi dad

[@Elsa-rq2ty]

@Rapunzel ♪ this is nice

[@supremeconprimeoverlord8114]

0:42-0:41 Angelina Jolie, salma Hayek , Richard madden ,the Indian guy(sorry I keep forgetting his name ) and Gemma Chan :-R WE A JOKE TO YOU 0:43

[@Yetu6679]

Mcu fans screaming into pillows forcing themselves to say it's a masterpiece

[@amoghketkar2559]

@@supremeconprimeoverlord8114 isn't he Pakistani?

[@MaMastoast]

The strangest thing about this movie is that these characters have known each other for thousands of years and still have awkward conversations as if they dont know each other that well..after 500 years they would know absolutely everything about each other

[@TOONYBOY]

Yeah, come to think about it,, what the hell do you talk about after all that time?

[@yourordinaryartist169]

Nah, there's much stranger things about it.

[@MSmith-ib1du]

Well, in defense of this piece- of- shit movie, I have had colleagues I have worked with for 6 years and we haven't crossed more words than the standard "Good day Mr. Smith"

[@TOONYBOY]

@@MSmith-ib1du Yeah, but as you said, you haven't spoke to them, and I'd imagine your workplace is bigger than a small farmhouse. Plus, you were likely focused on your job, at least enough not to hold small talk with people who were potentially in and out, focused on their own job or maybe from a different department entirely. These people are basically monitors. They sit in a farmhouse or secluded location for 1000 years and wait for something bad to happen.

[@kanedNunable]

good point, they would likely be sick of each other and hate their guts after that time

[@lornenoland8098]

This should’ve been a Disney+ series. Too many characters and plot lines for one movie.

[@HouseOfAlastrian]

Definitely would have worked a lot better as a series. The sheer scope of how much it wanted to do is over-ambitious to say the least... I'd say a series of ten 1 hour episodes would have done it justice. Still has the problem of bored, disinterested acting from the cast and Chloe Zhao's lack of directorial experience, though. Not to mention the dumbass contrivance that explains why they didn't help against Ultron or Thanos.

[@aoyukifuyu9490]

I was thinking the same thing

[@cindyfontanez8122]

Mhm

[@agafigna9117]

I wonder if they made it into a series would it be more or less expensive than the movie...

[@aliciarosemusic]

Good point!

[@MissCookieThief]

"While having a diverse cast is certainly no bad thing, it's also not a magical shield you can use to protect your shitty movie from criticism." This. This is what film and television today doesn't seem to get.

[@theprofesionalist7927]

I mean I was surprised by the critics score. For a second I thought "holy shit are the critics finally realizing that go woke=go broke and that your cast diversity doesn't mean shit if your plot is trash"?!?

[@damiandamiano3651]

@@Rockitsteady8513 diversity fails , soon you will understand because world situation stability fails and when laws no longer exist the dominant force take a lead , there will be no mercy when the time will come to wipe out what doesnt belong in system , its essential mechanism like autophagy , programmed cancer ,virus and bacteria death for body to clean itself

[@fredsas12]

Right on point. The irony is that diverstiy existed well enough in movies and films from the 80s, 90s and 2000s and with far better scripts and better acting. Woketivists and their "input" are pretty much the most UN-required "necessities" in movies today.

[@ShadowSonic2]

@@fredsas12 Sure, they existed well enough when most nonwhites were a bunch of goofy stereotypes that were nothing compared to the standard white lead.

[@fredsas12]

@@ShadowSonic2 A lead is a lead. There is no such thing as a standard "white" lead. The majority of US citizens (and thus Hollywood) is are "white" regardless of their ethnicity, so that is only natural, not racist.. If you went to Africa and watched a "Nollywood" movie, would you accuse Africans of racism because all their leads were black? What about Bollywood in India, would you accuse them because all their leads, no, their ENTIRE casts are brown? or the Caribbean? Its absolutely bigoted to assume that just because traditionally, a "lead" in a movie was a certain colour, that those people and institutions are engulfed in racism.. The irony is that this is how institutional racism actually starts.. Deliberate movements to displace a group of people because of their skin colour IS racism. And woke views against whites is racism on the highest order..

[@dantedeluca978]

The funniest part is the that 'deaf girl' can hear by feeling the vibrations. That's literally how hearing works, which is why the question if a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound because technically all sound is vibrations until it's heard. So they technically made a mute hero, not a deaf one

[@madeliner1682]

Which is even worse because it implies muteness is a more distinctive feature of being deaf than not being able to hear 🤦‍♀️

[@Overlysarcasticfox]

I’ve met deaf/HoH people who talk too, so I don’t understand why she’s mute if she can still technically hear

[@CalvinKalisto]

@@Overlysarcasticfox I heard that because she's fast the sonic boom would affect her, hence why she's deaf.

[@biferose158]

@@CalvinKalisto well that would be weird logic - breaking of the dound barrier makes a boom - but she would be ahead/though the speed of sound it’s self and therefore the boom would be behind her? Although its hard to test unless you can fly or outrun sound lol

[@benjaminshiels1824]

Omg yur comment is so validating. I had a conversation about the tree falling in th wood's n I may as well have been talking to th proverbial tree! Lol

[@dartoney]

I love how every time people hate on a movie that has "diversity" the creators always think people have a problem with the diversity and not how fucking bad the movie is

[@infinitesimotel]

The reason is because they are using movies as a vehicle to push "diversity" and all the other degenerate filth. They are propaganda pitches. Im just glad that people are being strident in calling out the peddlers of agenda..

[@TheQueenIsWithin]

I was wondering if I was the only one who saw that.

[@FixedFace]

@@infinitesimotel so, what you are saying is that blabipocx+ people like the movie because they are less intelligent? way to go mr hytler

[@Russ0107]

@@FixedFace did you just say blabipocx+ and expect not to get mocked

[@infinitesimotel]

@@FixedFace I have no idea how you would draw such a conclusion from my post. What the hell does blabipocx+ even mean?.....

[@scribbles1424]

When you have to hide behind "diversity" and "pissing off the right people" then you know the film sucks. The critics aren't going to hold back forever, a bad movie is a bad movie no matter how diverse it is.

[@GhostFire455]

The casting isn't the issue. It's the crappy story telling jumping all over the place. Ajak was suppose to be wise but some how wiped by here underlying. Ciri was all over the place emotional. Maybe the actress just didn't try. Only people you truly feel a connection to is drung and the deft girl. They felt more real. Messy movie.

[@daveroles3783]

@@GhostFire455 No, I have been noticing the same thing. Movies over the last couple years have become shit. I started noticing this after realizing every movie now has to have every single ethnic group cast, include all sexual orientations, talk about gender, oh, and make sure we don't forget to mention that guns are bad. The token black guy in Eternals is ALSO the token gay guy? Really?! A Celestial would make a gay black guy? Why would a Celestial even make different ethnic characters? Literally makes no sense.

[@GIBBO4182]

@@daveroles3783 it’s not just movies that try to tick all the diversity boxes…every tv ad does it aswell

[@quantum6641]

I liked the movie

[@Guy-m8m]

Can we no like...respect the effort for decent, contextual representation even with critically bad story telling - it's nice just to have folk in a group being their thing and that not define them as characters (Athena aside) - while also acknowledging shite writing and bad character development? Maybe the people involved are so used to shit waves due to the smallest sign of this, they go to defence automatically since we're not in a world where fair story criticism can happen without the shittier people piling on just because of casual representation? I dont blame them for circling the wagons...but yeah, bad movie, some good spirited attempts at making standards for future movies better. Still want my money back =P

[@aduckwithayoutubechannel]

I feel like this would’ve worked better as a Disney+ series. We could’ve seen the characters fleshed out from when they arrived on Earth, there battles throughout the centuries and finally ending with the events in this movie.

[@bryanaker4338]

I thought the very same thing. They needed time to develop the characters properly.

[@sainteagle4426]

Agreed, and it would've probably gotten more exposure that way cuz more people would stream it as compared to those who went to watch the movie.

[@TheDive99]

Agreed. never saw the movie but with a a cast this large it would definitely serve it well.

[@edcaous]

It would have made more sense as an X-men movie.

[@ditchfood8047]

I thought it was a series at first.

[@thecollector427]

"The LGBT representation in the movie will save lives." The lack of self awareness of some people is mind blowing. How important do these actors think they are?

[@elg7365]

They don't believe this shit.

[@Smoke.stardust]

@@elg7365 El G

[@Smoke.stardust]

@@elg7365 EL G

[@Smoke.stardust]

@@elg7365 EL G

[@Smoke.stardust]

EL G

[@jonasdiaz8615]

Any film’s mistakes can be ironed over by a cast of characters that you feel invested in and want to actively root for. It’s difficult to do so when you bring a cast of 10 for the first time that’s a dysfunctional family, WHILE doing a “get the gang back to together,” WHILE trying to do a murder mystery, WHILE trying to do a sci-fi epic, WHILE analyzing how worth saving humanity is. That’s a lot to handle, but nah it’ll be fine!

[@glendarjj3991]

That's all marvel has for today. Go away now.

[@radovanobal3842]

Didn't they send 8 people to rescue private Ryan? Let's not excuse the poop with number of the cast.

[@eduardochavacano]

actors who are not ugly would be a simple formula.

[@jonasdiaz8615]

@Клифф Близински Oh yeah, just realized how well it fits, but Watchmen has a much tighter cast than this one

[@redhairdavid]

@Клифф Близински I liked both, thought they had a lot of similarities to.

[@Derek-qu8qi]

As soon as they said one of the characters was called Ikaris, I knew he’d die in the Sun. literally within minutes of the movie starting, I saw that coming.

[@1rish_pher099]

Bro, but it didn't even make sense for him to die in the sun.

[@umbertosambo6040]

I was so bored of him that I didn't even realized the irony

[@ihateverifiedbotchannels6974]

@@1rish_pher099 lmao

[@578gzp]

Bro YES. He like, threw a fit his betrayal didn't work, then said "fuck it" and flung himself into the sun for absolutely no reason. Like I've lived thousands of years but this? THIS is when I snap. So DUMB.

[@roman5101]

@@578gzp When that scene happened, my friend and I started CRYING laughing. What a stupid scene. Like what the fuck? Lmao

[@stiltywilton]

There are also way too many Avengers Assemble! moments, where the characters all do the superhero strut and get into a line and stare off into the distance. From a practical perspective, it helps the audience to see all the Eternals in a row in various shots, so you don't forget who they are. On the other hand, it makes me feel as though I'm watching the Eternals do a runway show by Edna Mode.

[@piotrd.4850]

Curiously, in movie where said squad member die and depart on route - permanently.

[@WorldsOkayestSorcerer]

NO CAPES!

[@noteimporta2880]

That was the trailer so what did you expect lol.

[@Aagggyy]

@@noteimporta2880 Trailer was also trash.

[@noteimporta2880]

@@Aagggyy thats what I'm saying

[@gone3747]

The reason why 2012’s The Avengers was so amazing was because it took 6 characters that were introduced in previous movies and teamed them up to fight together, it did not introduce all 6 of the Avengers at once in the same movie like the Eternals did, instead it connected previous movies that already each introduced their respective protagonists, and teamed them up in one big movie that’s connected to their introductions, therefore not wasting or cramming time with exposition. Now none of us knew who these 10 Eternals were before this movie, so they had to cram their introductions into the first hour and it most certainly didn’t work, which is why you’ll see so many people saying it should’ve been a disney + series

[@SirBlackReeds]

It wasn't amazing. It was a novelty.

[@moridin3336]

What's funny, is they also had a counter example already showing that was a known failure w/ that exact criticism, Justice League.

[@reedr7142]

As someone who never watched a Marvel movie until Avengers 2012, that movie won me over without needing any of the previous films. I’m not disagreeing with your point. It’s quite valid. I’m just illustrating how a movie can compel a viewer, despite that viewer not having any of the “prequels” for reference point. That’s what good writing’ll get ya. Unlike the Eternals.

[@trezor-yt3047]

Wise words, my friend... wise words

[@paulbennett2284]

Although it did work with the Guardians as the characters were so distinct and memorable.

[@VanimationFilms]

“A film must be made with the heart, not the mind. I think today's young filmmakers have forgotten this and instead they make films through their calculations” -Akira Kurosawa

[@allthingshollywood2620]

I can only imagine how incredible The Eternals would be, if Akira was still alive AND was asked by Marvel to direct it.

[@murdockfiles9406]

Akira Kurosawa has inspired so many directors like Martin Scorsese, Frances Ford Coppola, Steven Spielberg, and George Lucas. They understood how to emulate the masters, and create the greatest films ever made. Today's directors are so subservient to studios looking to create popularity out of repetition, hence the MCU.

[@tctyt]

This is sadly true, Kurosawa was entirely right about the Modern films.

[@snitchzerboo]

A movie should be made with both heart and mind You need some big brain to make a masterpiece like Joker

[@VanimationFilms]

Ps I thought Chloe Zhao made a film that was more heart driven than a lot of mcu films. Therefore I really liked it… I had a emotional reaction, that touched me. Is it perfect? By all means no. But a bad film is better than a mediocre one…

[@tusharbhat2367]

Man when the Drinker said that he saw Eternals and said that his review was coming out soon on Twitter, I was more excited for his review than the movie

[@wookiebear8468]

Same here, man.

[@CelestialInfinite678]

Same my guy 👌

[@theimperishablelordofthenight]

Exactly the same way.

[@KingMinionDemon]

I get excited when my favorite KZbinrs reviewing movies that I will never bother to pay to watch.

[@V742]

@@toby2581 nothing like a good shit. And even a bad one is over in a few minutes. This movie sounds like second stage labour without any analgesia

[@vector12yearsago41]

SPOILER: I love how ikaris’ and cerci’s romance is just him following her around

[@hunterreed9049]

Right?! Ikarus had the personality of a cardboard box.

[@vector12yearsago41]

@@hunterreed9049 felt like a dc movie, it should have been 2 films or at least a series, because there were almost too many ideas eg sprites age, the celestials, the marriage, the betrayal, the deviants, and none were explain well enough

[@hunterreed9049]

@@vector12yearsago41 I agree. Nothing really held any weight in the movie. I didn’t care about the characters. When they have these inconsistencies like Druig wanting to end the wars and have people live in peace but then in modern day he’s basically mind controlling everyone in the forest to “keep the peace”. I could have missed something about that but Idk it just wasn’t for me.

[@smitra5901]

Ikrrr?! For all the thousand years old lovers they lacked the chemistry so much. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@lyminusshafiq6067]

@@vector12yearsago41 or they could do the eternals as a team like the power rangers or fantastic 4 or something, doing each char is not enough to introduce them in 1 movie. It become boring because we keep changing char in the movie and not a focused 1 pov which make us keep resetting our mind to understand what is going on

[@ThomasBoyce5000]

"This movie will save lives!" How melodramatic and narcissistic and full of hubris.....

[@addison_v_ertisement1678]

Sheer fucking hubris.

[@Darkgun231]

A question: If the Earth was supposed to become another Celestial, wouldn't Starlord's Dad have known, or at least noticed, when he was planting his spores?

[@alfredpennyworth177]

Exactly.

[@noobie1890]

You’re making too much sense

[@anthonyallmond3682]

Yeah phase 4 was a disaster the only ones I liked were Shang chi and Loki

[@6kine6tic67]

Its called lazy writing. Questions be damned this is diversity!!

[@Ben-vg6ox]

Stop making so much sense we're in the modern day now 😆

[@rickkmarks3488]

I was literally more excited for this review than the movie itself.

[@TRUMP_2024_PREZ]

FIRST LAWSUITS AND NOW DISNEY DELAYED 5 CRINGEWORHTY MCU FILMS IN 2022...I SEE A MASSIVE TRAINWRECK COMING FOR DISNEY/MARVEL #FACTS 💣💥🚅

[@infinitesimotel]

Given the pattern I dont know wyy anyone would be excited about a movie coming out these days.

[@seriouslee6741]

Yup, kinda sad that a 10 minute video of a KZbin critic is more entertaining than a x hour long movie.

[@TRUMP_2024_PREZ]

THIS ENTIRE TREAD IS MORE ENTERTAINING THAN ALL 25 MCU CRINGEWORHTY FILMS #FACTS

[@coolgirl2044]

@@infinitesimotel Lol yeah, the only film I actually watched in theaters since The Last Jedi (lol) was the MHA film that recently dropped, and that's not an American film, thank god it's not.

[@jayess8714]

They spent the whole movie building up that super-ultron-deviant for nothing - killed him instantly and I was like "Uhhh... ok..."

[@3takoyakis]

bcs they didnt know that they are basically farmer in earth fighting against pest-viant but it didnt makes sense, if they LOVE earth that much, they should rise against ultron, thanos or any genocider in human history and ignoring 'deviant only' rules i mean their power arent locked to only fighting deviant, they can unleash it anytime they want

[@yevgeniyaleshchenko849]

@@3takoyakis Right

[@lukesimon2227]

Yo when they killed him i was like wtf

[@torrancemoore6152]

I hated that so much but then again the deviants weren't given the character development they should've gotten either

[@Myrkzz]

they are building up a future deviant that has say taken 50 eternals powers from world to world

[@mathewperring]

The problem with having a diverse cast from a story telling perspective is you need to give the group a compelling reason to be together, that more homogeneous groups can do without needing to supply an explanation. You have to work hard to do this, meaning you have to give up something else, they did not stick the landing on this one

[@alilishaa8824]

I think they already have a compelling reason to be together. I mean, it was clearly stated multiple times in the movie that they are these robot alien things that were created and ordered to "protect" the Earth. I think their diverse powers aren't really a problem since, well A LOT of movies/ shows have a group of heroes with different powers/ weapons in order to benefit them and to make them more unique.

[@dinbabwa452]

@@alilishaa8824 lol I love how you state that diversity = diverse powers. hahahah

[@dinbabwa452]

This story did not need a reason for them to be diverse. They are robots made by a celestial. They could be made to look like what ever the Celestial wanted. So he was creative and made them look all kinds of ways. Why is this a problem? The divers casting simple comes from a desire to feature diverse actors, it literally has little to do with the story. So why get all upset about it not living up to some need for a logical reason to have multiethnic or not have one for that matter?

[@RideMyLighting]

“We cannot interfere in human conflicts” Yeah, I didn’t know that wiping half the universe was considered a “human conflict”.

[@vlad78th]

There're not here to save humanity, if you had seen the movie, you would have known.

[@Halfort57]

@@vlad78th "we were told not to interfere unless it involved Deviants." Yadda yadda or some lazy bullshit excuse.

[@Shaundi1-l4e]

@@vlad78th killing half of the population on earth, delaying the emergence/birth of celestials and I though they supposed to protect intelligent life on earth, so the population can grow and let the emergence happen. This conflict was definetly not "human conflict" as RideMyLighting wrote lmao

[@flaviochuahy3440]

@@Halfort57 thanos is actually a deviant in some story lines, so that doesnt even fit

[@CSRT123]

@@vlad78th if you have seen the movie, then you definitely lost out.

[@captbuckyohare5585]

If you go back and watch the very first trailer for Iron Man, when Marvel had to earn and graft for your attention, it spends 2/3s of its runtime establishing who Tony Stark is, his personality, his job, his flaws, his humour, and then it hits you with the inciting incident that changes him forever. It gives you reasons to care about him, the bastard that he clearly is, and shows just enough of the film's driving plot points to give you an idea of where it might go, before it wallops you in the last 30 seconds with the action, the armour, and soundtrack. It gives you reasons to want to follow the character and see how his story unfolds. Now compare that to the new Phase 4 characters, and you'll see the marketing is focussed solely on the brand, worldbuilding, and the promise of spectacle. The promise of a new Marvel thing, instead of selling characters. Because it's about the brand now, not the characters. So just open wide and consume the product.

[@princebubby]

Also, Robert Downey Jnr did a superb job as a the lead character. Likewise Jon Favreau as director. Does the Eternals have anyone of that caliber?

[@nuncio21]

Nailed it, man!

[@captbuckyohare5585]

@@princebubby Exactly. In the trailer's first scene: Reporter: Mr Stark, you've been called the Di Vinci of our time. What do you say to that? Stark: Absolutely ridiculous. I don't paint. Reporter (smirking): You've also been called the Merchant of Death. Stark: That's not bad. Look at how much we learn here and all of it sold by RDJ brilliantly. After 10 seconds I'm already in.

[@princebubby]

@@captbuckyohare5585 Yes. That's talent on display, in front of the camera and behind it: acting, directing, writing ...

[@solaireofastora6173]

I really don't like the new trajectory of this new phase of the mcu, the directors gained a bad habit from captain marvel that consists of selling us bad movies just because they will have importance later on and they began to introduce too forced concepts such as all of the time travel bullshit

[@victorpradha9946]

Diverse cast + aimless, jumbled narrative + poor characterization = horrible movie. Bland, uniform cast + aimless, jumbled narrative + poor characterization = horrible movie. Conclusion: Diversity was NOT the problem!

[@SirBlackReeds]

Though it was a problem.

[@bakonman6611]

trying to shove diversity into something can create more problems than if you just had a 'uniform' cast.

[@victorpradha9946]

@@bakonman6611 Yeah...you're right! These shows should go ALL BLACK or ALL LATINO or ALL ASIAN or ALL WHITE ...and represent the world the way God who created Black, Latino, Asian, and White people, intended things to be! BTW, Asian people comprise 59.76% of the total world population. Indians and Chinese alone would amount to 50% of the entire world population. Somebody needs to take this up with God...about the whole 'uniform' thing!

[@bakonman6611]

You don't seem to have understood any of what my comment actually meant.

[@dinbabwa452]

@@SirBlackReeds Your the problem its a problem.

[@CaptGuts1945]

Well the whole "reason" they didn't get involved with Thanos is because they only respond to deviant threats yet Thanos is technically part Deviant. Brilliant.

[@IftiAlam1999]

Maybe not in MCU🤷‍♂️

[@thedoctorfez1865]

@@IftiAlam1999 no. He is also a deviant in the mcu.

[@FRISHR]

Thanos was actually born as an Eternal but has mutations that made him look like a Deviant, in the comics at least.

[@abhinavyadav13]

in the comics, thanos is an eternal too, just with a deviant gene, so not a deviant by definition, don't know what take mcu is going to take.

[@JBurnz001]

Oh let’s not forget they are robots but somehow Thanos and his brother were born from another eternal. Which makes no sense since they can’t reproduce. Everything that Thanos had seemed to not mention especially when he should have been worried that the Celestials would stop him since they are these “GODS” who apparently don’t seem to pay attention to what their creations are even doing until it’s to late. Great storytelling 🤦🏾‍♂️

[@OneHitWonder383]

You know, not every comic needs to be made into a movie.

[@Neyodip]

Marvel is just throwing random shit at the wall

[@Green_Tea_Coffee]

Sshhhh. Don't ask questions. Just consume product and get excited for next product.

[@Rx37Legacy]

Is that like a personal attack or something?!

[@paul6618]

There's so much more comics that they could choose from. Whoever is picking what to adapt is really doing a shit job. I think they're just focusing on "diversity" instead of giving us the the representation as it was meant to be. There are many individual superheroes in Marvel who are "diverse" and have been part of the Avengers at one point in time, they could have added one or two of them to their MCU instead they chose to put 10 people into a single movie. Damn.

[@OneHitWonder383]

@@paul6618 -- It all about who can be the wokest at Disney.

[@sagefields]

Hey, this movie was great. It finally cured me of my insomnia.

[@hyboirds1536]

I do sometimes enjoy when a new movie like this comes out, they do have a magical way of putting me to sleep in minutes when usually I can't get an hour of sleep to save my life.

[@benc77]

I love how they are meant to be perfect warriors, yet we have a child and a out of shape man, nice one

[@nugzin5742]

Thanos is an Eternal with Deviant genes so technically the Eternals should have been doubly involved in stopping him. Edit: the Deviant gene is definitely a thing in the MCU because Thanos is from Titan (the eternals homeworld) and his brother Eros (played by Harry styles) is an Eternal but without the Deviant gene, so only one of them inherited the gene.

[@cruelpulse]

This film is dumb and looks like garbage, but there's no reason to bring up stuff from the comics to criticize its logic. It's quite possible the Diviant gene isn't a thing in the film's universe?

[@benedictjajo]

@@cruelpulse still doesn't explain the fact that the eternals are supposed to help the humans and they knew Thanos could wipe half of the human population by the snap of his finger if he won. Where were they then?

[@Mpiewizard]

@@cruelpulse considering Thanos’s brother is now being played by Harry Styles whom they made no effort to look any different then he usually does, I’d say the deviant gene is still canon in the MCU.

[@tenchraven]

That would require the writers to actually be familiar with the lore for characters which most Marvel fans have either never heard of or care eff all about.

[@AyeshSilva-e7e]

@@cruelpulse Not everything in comics and movies are Sky and Ground difference.

[@flyinpigmusic331]

I finally watched this. Here's my review: it was boring as hell. I couldn't get invested in the characters or story. By the time it got to the climax, I couldn't be bothered to care if the protagonists won or not.

[@raygillette7446]

I too watched it this weekend, feel asleep an hour in and didn’t bother to go back to see what I missed

[@pisachit7407]

The first Marvel movie where my kids have asked when it was going to be over. Can't think of a more stinging criticism than that.

[@NickPCage]

I wanted the celestial to be born ..would of loved to see earth blow up.

[@aaronclark5381]

Have you ever thought to read up on the characters before entering in a marvel movie. All these characters are based on comics. This movie was actually very well made if you had any understanding of the concepts before you watched it.

[@VladGrim]

I was hoping they lost lol. Or got replaced. They're broken tools who can't do their jobs anymore

[@BigMac0369]

This movie would've played out way better as a Disney+ show with each episode being used to focus on 1-2 characters

[@Gandoan]

Honestly, I thought Covid was just going to redo the entire way we think of entertainment. Movies being shuffled out and everything being more digital and home streamed. Tv shows even before Covid were becoming more and more on par with films and sometimes surpassing them because effects are easier and cheaper to do. And with shows you get more time to do characters properly. I think we should redo the industry, have a mini series we can watch at home and then finish it off with a grand movie. Like the Firefly series.

[@cradiculous]

Assuming the characters could be better performed, of course.

[@Ihavethetouch]

This movie and Falcon should have changed places

[@ferrarriohh]

Falcon & Winter Soldier & Black Widow as a series, and yes, Eternals as 8-10 episode shows with one giant arc tying 2-3 subplots together. Biggest toys on the planet and the adults running them are the dumbest kids on the playground.

[@silverprimus321boi9]

@@Ihavethetouch yea that wouldve been perfect

[@hawkofsteel5169]

I never understood how a race with complete control over their bodies could have one of them be deaf.

[@TheHulkbuster13]

everyone: Why didn't you help against Thanos? Eternals: We were told to only fight against the deviants. Me: But Thanos is an Eternal with the Deviant gene. He's genetically stamped to be someone you're suppose to fight against. Eternals: Well, .. I . . a ... .

[@aredjayc2858]

YUP, they're selectively incorporating the comic book lore

[@random-jn8ec]

Don't ask questions. We do not do that here.

[@dragonquest8ftw1]

Ignoring that, their explanations STILL don't make sense, especially when humans are killing each other which is causing the need for intelligent life to slow. The Celestials need intelligent life on a planet so another Celestial can grow and be born from within that planet, and Ajak even acknowledges and explains to Ikarus that The Snap delayed the celestials birth for years. The rule of 'not inteferring' is literally delaying the celestials birth because of the wars and death that went on, had Ultron's plan succeeded, it would have stopped the Celestial outright. Hell, there's even one eternal capable of stopping them from killing themselves and he's told to not to do the thing that not only HE WAS FUCKING MADE TO DO but would help the celestial be born?!

[@LegacyComics100]

Also, what about Hyperion?

[@luca201411]

They knew they screwd it, right from the trailer: "when you love something, you protect it" "Then why didn't you fight Thanos?" "We were told not do so". Aaaaaall right.

[@icbm7]

There was A LOT of potential: the deviant "smart" bad guy, the whole Icarus betrayal, Athena's madness, even the Cersei & Icarus vs. Cersei & the KitH character. All of these story-line opportunities were mishandled. This is down to the director, and possibly the writers, and certainly the studio. As I sat in the theater, I realized that I was watching 3 openings to the movie, and this had me concerned that "they" didn't know what they wanted from the film, and by then end this concern was confirmed.

[@sillythao3513]

i absolutely agree. I thought everything was just so out of place with the contsant flashbacks and honestly it felt like only makkari and druig had chemistry

[@pdannysan13]

The movie basically started after 1h30min.

[@JollyOliW]

The only thing I truly loved about the film was the fight scenes, but then again it's marvel so that is in all films meaning it needs more to stand out among the rest

[@sillythao3513]

@@JollyOliW and the fact that there were barely any😭😭😭

[@lillrice27]

Yeah this movie had so much potential, too bad they took it the wrong direction, I really liked the cast and fights too

[@Sultan-cf5wf]

Criticism is getting deflected as "Haters don't like it when a woman directs!" Then explain why 2017's Wonder Woman got such high praise.

[@curious011]

it's not criticism. It's trying to make people on socail media conform to your views. Critics were shocked when audiences gave it positive reviews. After all, WE must ALL think like critics. The movies they do like are dumb as crap.

[@cincydooley]

@James Scott Somehow, clueless still stands up. It’s such a product of its time, but it’s stil so funny.

[@N0URii]

And Loki is good, yea they put some woke shit on it but eternals just worse

[@gianthand8130]

I noticed people tend to either keep quiet or change the topic whenever the 2017 Wonder Woman movie gets brought up.

[@sayithowitis470]

Tbh , black panther was pretty shite too ... got over the top praise cause of its full black cast and nobody had the balls to call it mediocre in case they got called racist .

[@edsonmhango5873]

Honestly it had some good ideas, just not enough time to properly develop them. Should've been a 10 one hour episode series. Would've sparked some interesting conversations

[@aliciarosemusic]

Definately!

[@carlodurant87]

why does everyone on tv only want to do 10 episodes of everything now. its a very disturbing trend. whatever happened to making 13-26 episodes of a tv show during one season

[@edsonmhango5873]

@@carlodurant87 well done shows like Invincible, The Boys and Stranger things have shown it works. Also, less fillers

[@darkjelly944]

That does sound like a better alternative on paper, but considering what the creators had in mind for this movie, the lack of experience of the cast and crew, and emphasizing "THE MESSAGE" over good storytelling, I wouldn't be surprised if they found some way to screw it up. Honestly, I could see them fumbling around entire episodes complaining about how hard and pitiful it is being a "diverse" person instead of advancing or highlighting the plot in any meaningful way. The purpose of this movie was to indulge in "representation", not tell a good story. Giving the creators more time would not have magically fixed the fundamentally flawed approach to this project. It would have just created MORE hamfisted emphasis on the "diversity" of the cast, because that's what the purpose of this movie was. In summary, Eternals is not a movie, it is a WOKE commercial.

[@SirBlackReeds]

It would have still sucked.

[@listless22]

My favorite part of the movie was when character A looked off into the distance as the sun set for the next 5 minutes. It was such a contrast from when character B did it 5 minutes ago!

[@Wingedmagician]

You could make a calendar with those shots

[@listless22]

@@Wingedmagician They would make an honestly quite nice calendar! I thought the vfx in the movie were as good as I've seen anywhere.

[@talltroll7092]

Maybe it's secretly just a giant, group co-application for a chance at being in a Depeche Mode music video

[@beautyforashes2022]

Perfume commercial.

[@blueshattrick]

@@talltroll7092 Enjoy The Silence was in phase zero of the MCU

[@sammurphy4159]

"It's been a fun 10 years, but the fun is definitely over" Couldn't agree more

[@chasehedges6775]

👍👍👍👍💯💯💯💯

[@antonioorsome]

@WiiManElite spider man will save it but after that idk

[@magic8340]

There was fun with the MCU movies???

[@squidward-kun]

@@magic8340 Lmao for real, they were all so dumb

[@david7800]

endgame is goated compared to this

[@baierogers5096]

It should've been a mini-series that focused on a certain set of characters, throughout integral moments of human evolution. It could've been an opportunity to explore certain introspective ideas with the weight it deserves, as well as give some of these characters some actual personality and intrigue.

[@bibaolaitan5189]

Thank you.. i actually thought it would be a series originally...

[@Eternaldarkness3166]

Considering how Mini-Series Happy Disney+ has become, I'm surprised it wasn't.

[@baierogers5096]

@@Eternaldarkness3166 My prediction is that it originally was supposed to be a series, but the failure of Inhumans and Iron Fist may caused them to overhaul the idea. By the time the critical and commercial success of shows like WandaVision and The Mandalorian were realized, it must've been too late

[@kopykat6843]

I wholeheartedly agree with you there. There is obviously potential here but they wasted it for a blockbuster they couldn't attain to begin with. Shame really.

[@madavarams268]

I hated the movie the moment introduced the character Gilgamesh. The fact that they make it seem gods don't exist and how mythological characters were just themselves in different time periods infuriated me on so many levels. Makkari was Mercury, Thena was Athena, Sirsi was Circe, Ikkaris was Icarus, Phastos was Hephastos, Gilgamesh was Gilgamesh, etc. The "It was just a story I made up in Athens" was a plain insult to anyone who respected or admired greek/roman/Mesopotamian mythology

[@kitsune8460]

"We need a movie about diversity!" X-Men : Are we a joke to you?

[@RSG_TheMonster]

And now Disney are doing a X-Men Disney+ show

[@dcmastermindfirst9418]

@@RSG_TheMonster It'll probably be forced political diverse garbage too That's what Disney does

[@exodore2000]

Please make a Alpha Flight Movie it was made to be a Diversity movie, and X-men as well but that name they have a problem with.

[@gosanxi9108]

Only spiderman no way home will make me watch MCU again or Guardian Of The Galaxy vol 3.

[@gustavogutierrez6568]

im wondering how they're going to fuck up the x-men i mean x-people jesus christ

[@ViperChief117]

You can’t polish a turd. This movie looked boring from the trailers. lol

[@mozan33r71]

aCTUaaaLY YOu CaN. Well, turds at least have some nutritional value to bugs and flowers. This thing that I haven't even bothered to watch is based on a trailer. This has no value.

[@gabgamerk.5270]

You can only flush it away

[@sibusiso2841]

@@mozan33r71 Mythbusters

[@Mrs.Magix58]

Yes you can.

[@user-or6yn8pm3c]

Marvel overplayed its hand it started off strong with Iron Man and ended strong with Endgame. DC looking better now.

[@randaranatunga7259]

“A movie about a bunch of characters anyones ever heard of, starring a bunch of actors nobody cares about, Written by a bunch of people with fuck all accomplishments and qualifications and directed by someone with a grand total of 3 movies to her name” I honestly don’t think there’s much more to say

[@selkirkswift]

Indeed, the rest was padding to hit 10 minutes lol

[@Unapologeticweeb]

This is what happens if you focus on diversity diversity by itself is fine but let it occur naturally if prioritize peoples race and gender over skill Merritt and talent you get this Hire actors and directors with talent and skill This is a problem with modern movies as a whole A bunch of hack writers with a director that doesn't know what they are doing starring a bunch of nobodies will always fail because meritocracy works people get hired based on there talent and skills for a reason

[@random-jn8ec]

But she did win Oscar for Nomadland right? How tf can she do an amazing movie and this shit with the same mind?

[@juliooquendo220]

@@random-jn8ec nobody watched that movie

[@randaranatunga7259]

@@random-jn8ec I’m just as perplexed as you I haven’t watched Nomadland but I saw a few reviews and it seemed amazing It’s a shame really, Kinda like a reverse Craig Mazin

[@mookiedt]

Sersi, with the op power of transmutation, didn't think of ever using it on deviants until thousands of years later? And she's suppose to be seen as the main protagonist? Are you kidding me? That's like if I had the ability to fly, but instead of using my power to save someone that's barely hanging a ledge then flying them down to safety. I simply run towards them, help them up then carry them down several flights of stairs.

[@mikespike2099]

THE ETERNALS were the heroes we knew we did not need or deserve!!!

[@futurefish8819]

Maybe we do deserve this pain. Atone.

[@diegosotomiranda4107]

Or just they are the heroes we dont care xD

[@chasehedges6775]

@@diegosotomiranda4107 👍👍👍👍💯💯💯

[@Eternaldarkness3166]

They look like a poor man's version of the Justice League

[@sammalone7881]

@@Eternaldarkness3166 which was better than the real Justice league movie.

[@eastern2western]

Zhao even admitted the whole movie was an intense film school experience for her. Basically, she had no idea what she was doing.

[@mveytia]

Totally not true. She clearly has talent, she's just a bit green for a movie of this size and scope.

[@eastern2western]

@@mveytia for small independent movies, she can handle them without much problems. Eternals is.a.movie that requires introduction of multiple characters, heavy effects and its relationship with the main mcu universe. For a newbie came directly from.independant films, she simple could not handle a project with such massive proportions.

[@anthonyallmond3682]

@@eastern2western and she was basically asked to repeat James Gunn success with guardians of the galaxy

[@evertonporter7887]

I say all new directors should get their first break. She'll learn from this experience, as we all did when we first started our first big jobs.

[@PompeySomerstown]

@@evertonporter7887 Indeed, I've directed 2 no-budget features. I should definitely be put in charge of a multi-million-dollar superhero movie!

[@rdubayoo]

"We're Marvel, we can do no wrong!" Everything you need to know about why they made this movie.

[@MrSGL21]

pretty much. i realized the dc fan boys where right when they said marvel fans will watch anything no matter how bad it is when i sat there through capt marvel and it made 1.3 billion dollars.

[@jw8160]

Shouldn’t that be we are Disney we can do no wrong?

[@rdubayoo]

@@jw8160 Perhaps, but it's especially bad on the Marvel side of things.

[@rajarshisantra8203]

@@jw8160 well, whichever floats your boat

[@MrSGL21]

@WiiManElite i'm in that "most are done after endgame" i'm only looking forward to the sony stuff, venom, morbius, no way home.

[@SerKGrimm]

"The *Eternals* are a group of immortal alien warriors who were sent to Earth thousands of years ago by the *Celestials* to protect humanity from the *Deviants."* This is why you don't let the creatively bankrupt name your species.

[@PotrzebieConolly]

Weren't all those names from Jack Kirby's comics? Was he creatively bankrupt?

[@tutorialslave]

This obviously needed clear throughlines, reflected in character interplay: - Ikaris 'vs.' Sersi: faith in authority vs. faith in humanity (more of Sersi's screentime should've been spent on how protective and caring she used to be towards humans) - Druig vs. Phastos: the morality of meddling with human affairs - Kingo / Sprite: legacy Everyone else should've solely been featured in the past chunks of the narrative, further develop them on Disney+ and a sequel. Have The Eternals be awakened by Thanos' Snap. Move up the twist by at least 30 minutes so they can believably argue over whether to save Earth or allow for the perpetuation of life on a cosmic scale.

[@4inaftermath454]

This already sounds better than what I saw lmao

[@pandaman1331]

They didn't have time to incorporate good script writing and character developement, it would have taken away time for character diversity

[@sekanstar3243]

You're trying to make sense, write a good story.........but that's not what this movie is all about, just focus on the diversity and clap 😂🤣

[@metalore]

I only agree with showing Sersi caring about humans because it was central to the plot and it seems they only talked about it. Otherwise every Eternal was full developed and didn't need to be symmetrical to each other, that's just your interpretation.

[@mikespike2099]

But that goes against MCU woke Thinking These Days: Latest Oscar Director + Famous Actors + Massive CGI budget = Popular Movie 🙃

[@RobbysLobbyHobbyGaming]

This movie was one of the slowest paced most boring movies I have ever watched. Watchmen was the same pace but it was much much much better in every way possible.

[@radicalsnake2813]

Watchmen had a lot of characters but they were all memorable in their way. In Eternals all characters are so poor...

[@madavarams268]

The first quarter felt too rushed for me. dunno if an editing problem but scenes shifted drastically from one tot another. And it dragged to a halt in the thena in the desert scene

[@Paulafan5]

@DarthRevan66 Justice League was worse because it had iconic characters that people actually liked instead of D-list characters that most comic book fans have never heard of before.

[@BoredomandVanity]

The watchmen was so confusing

[@bedroombunny9529]

Here is a question that I legit want answered by someone who has sway in the MCU. Why of all IP's did The Eternals (a story compromised of a large cast of characters that we have not seen before) get a movie instead of an episodic show that could have fleshed each of them out, while Falcon and the Winter Soldier (with characters we already know and just needed a bit more fleshing) got an Episodic show instead of a movie? This feels backwards and for the life of me I can't figure out why they did this.

[@dr.feelgoodmalusphillips2475]

Because. They. Don't. Fucking. Care.

[@cruelpulse]

Consider this, this is an ad for a TV show.

[@bedroombunny9529]

@@cruelpulse Well it was a very unsuccessful ad for a TV show because it seems that even their target demographic thought it sucked.

[@trojrafal]

This movie was meant to have been shown last year when wokeism was at its peak and the diversity push would have been hailed by critics. The movie also provides a better set up for Marvel moving off planet in future films perhaps?

[@DeeevTV]

I got the impression they wanted to make a movie with an "Epic" feel to it, which you can tell from the timespan, grand landscapes and music. It would be hard to do that in a TV show.

[@johngregg5735]

I believe it was called 'The Eternals' because it never ends

[@heraldofwar]

The excuses they are going to invent defending this film will be more entertaining than the film itself.

[@elpretender1357]

I'm already expecting one of those "What about the themes?" film critics to defend it.

[@Contractor48]

What surprises me is that the audience score is pretty good. Was there a reason to that?

[@neutronstarpilot4393]

So you mine things so you can craft things to mine? You can nit pick anything, why do you feel people need to bend over backwards to defend a film, this was fine. But this guy is not going to get much content from a "meh that was ok I geuss" Hence the video, I feel his fans shouldn't take him so seriously.

[@scifiwriter98]

We can expect to hear the words "racism" and "bigotry" a lot.

[@amxaas4450]

It will probably start with something in the lines of "We are proud with the end result of the project and the team did so well in putting their all into this passion project".

[@OsirisNeits]

"A Celestial requires intelligent life to fuel it's growth." Boy did they pick the wrong cinematic universe.

[@cmohr6998]

Wrong planet altogether

[@MjolnirsPower]

That's a good joke, but that lore is BS. The Celestials need nothing from Mortal beings. It's the whole "gods need prayers to survive" horse manure.

[@arkhamcrazies6477]

What other decent cinematic universe is there, the DCU 💀💀

[@conan2096]

that timeline was erased, now we only have disappointment.

[@igorchistyakov8876]

@@MjolnirsPower if you have a setting, where The Secret is actually working, gods happen to be creations of people's collective imagination, manifested in real world. Hence they are born and grow in power with the numbers of their respective cults' numbers and die with said cults. This little detail may very well justify inquisition purging heresies, for example, and help writing a compelling antagonist, who does terrible things for the sake of greater good. Horse manure might give you beautiful roses if you use it wisely. Or at least stop eating it to begin with (just in case, this is a jab to Marvel's 4th phase, not you).

[@ElValuador]

Remember when movies used to tell stories instead of check boxes?

[@NiPeMiRecenziiFilme]

This comment is underrated.

[@Akahigep]

Yeah, because non of action shitty movies of 80s-90s weren't checking boxes lmao. You can say "remember when movies checked boxes I liked" instead

[@tjsogmc]

I seriously can't remember such a time as it was so long ago... the memories are faded like a foggy evening when you can see shapes, but not details. I think there was a time like that... but the world has moved on...

[@ElValuador]

@@Akahigep IKR? Alien(s), Terminator (2), The Original Predator and many others were garbage compared to this and other high quality movies of the past 10 years or so. They’ve also managed to ruin Star Wars, Star Trek and now James Bond so yeah today’s movies and TV are much better🤦‍♂️

[@NiPeMiRecenziiFilme]

@@Akahigep Yeah, right, that's why some of them are still regarded as the best ever.

[@Real_MisterSir]

Eternals: Are only supposed to fight deviants because deviants are a risk to intelligent life and the birth of new Celestials. Also Eternals: Don't intervene with Thanos, who is literally wiping half of ALL EXISTENCE from the universe, essentially destroying the chance for any Celestial to be born at all within any foreseeable future (and also potentially killing tons of Eternals in the process) This movie is so dumb.

[@quantum6641]

So are they now not suppose to release any new hero because it will interfere with a 4 year old movies?

[@Real_MisterSir]

@@quantum6641 No but maybe they could have spent a grand total of more than 10 minutes trying to write an actually decent plot point to validate their former absence.. You know, write, as professionals.. as what they're paid millions to do. Just a thought

[@quantum6641]

@@Real_MisterSir they literally told the reason, their creator only gave them permission to interfere only when deviants are involved. They also didn't interfere with both world wars even tho it killed shit load of humans and delayed the Celestial from being born cause there was no deviants involved in those conflicts

[@Real_MisterSir]

@@quantum6641 Yes they told a reason they came up with in 10 minutes. The entire reason they were only to act towards the deviants, is because deviants posed a threat to intelligent life. But in extension, Thanos literally removed half of all intelligent life in the entire universe (plus he's part deviant himself anyways) so my point is that their puny attempt to make an excuse only creates even more plotholes. If they can't earn their wage and come up with a real reason to the potential plothole, then perhaps they should simply leave it unaddressed for now and find more time to work on proper writing. It aint that hard lmao, and there's a reason the movie has gotten pretty low ratings. Writing is one of those reasons.

[@markcarr5142]

I watched this movie this past weekend on HBO, and to be honest... I was confused as to what the hell they were supposed to be doing.

[@S3onicHed3ehog]

I had skip to the movie to find the fight scenes but couldn't find a single one but alot of talking

[@carlodurant87]

abs? why are you talking about stomach muscles

[@sarov7658]

Gilgamesh was cool i lik the actor but he died in a dumb way just lik the train to Busan another stupid movie

[@grnizz41]

On HBO?

[@liammcmillan717]

I remember saying that the MCU was done after Endgame (not that Disney wouldn't keep milking the cash cow, but that it's done and if they continue, it's all downhill). Everyone told me I was stupid. Yet here we are.

[@corporateshill7473]

I was ready to call it quits before Infinite War. It and Endgame were much better than I was expecting. Now I'm done, tho.

[@words007]

Exactly and recently the justice league and all around of those movies we all said it. It was all rushed to counter marvel avenger and civil war at the time Warner brothers were intending to milk the super hero movies without LOGIC. The way iron man 1 starts and End ats END GAMe it was PHENOMENAL. but now marvel cannot milk it more themselves. And now DC warner brothers (i hope) have figured it out. Its difficult to understand i know. superhero movies is no children movies 30-40 years old love these moves and they all hate illogical BS all of us are not stupid we dont like BS logic in movies and lame story what the Eternal Have showed. Even though my highlight of the move was Black KNIGHT entry as of yet

[@Jerry-dd9jn]

I feel sci-fi of gods stuff is fading off little by little. I don't know the next genre though

[@connorryan2715]

It’s kinda sounding like Eternals could have been a pretty cool season of television (assuming it had good writers and directors and whatnot) cuz from what I’m hearing in this video, it sounds like there’s a lotta cool shit put into a neat sci-fi fantasy epic, that a two hour movie could not have possibly executed well

[@CynicalOldDwarf]

Basically the same problem as Justice League in that its an ensemble movie without the character investment and build up that made Avengers work, except ten times worse unlike Justice Leagues well known and established characters that even a non-superhero fan has most likely heard of - here we have a bunch of nobodies that no one cares about.

[@MrDevious88]

A mini-series would have been a better fit for this. From what Drinker says, there's too much material to properly cover any of it over the course of a movie.

[@RogerValor]

true, well except the justice league in comics worked because it assembled well known heroes with some less well known heroes presenting long arks. like the avengers mostly, which was only cool because we had a few introduction movies before. but in WB world most of them did not have existing material as movies, assuming we all "know the characters" but if that does not work with characters you assume "we know" as iconic as the flash, why should it work with characters we do not know, at all?

[@cowetascore8476]

They probably shied away from that after Inhumans tanked.

[@braydoxastora5584]

honestly they should do what some anime do and do both a tv show and a movie. a tv show could have set up all these eternals with their individual character arcs and then have the whole band get back together for the movie

[@zombieinkhakis6891]

I’ve been watching basically all your videos and went into eternals kind of thinking about what you talk about and what makes a good movie. I actually liked it in some ways but was pretty frustrated that it felt like a lot of it was 75% of the way there. So many cool things in there and awesome concepts but they just either weren’t properly explored or they were but they weren’t set up well so we don’t care enough about them. If this was split into two movies and done a little differently with a different scope and much better character development and introduction to the world of eternals and celestials it could have been an amazing set of movies

[@thecrazyslopoke]

I like how marvel thinks so highly of themselves that the marketing for this when it came out was "the marvel cinematic event". Like it was going to be ground breaking.

[@mmwlyg]

Especially the shang-chi commercials 🤦🏽‍♂️ “your new favorite avenger is on Disney plus” shut yo ass up marvel

[@gabrielmichael3701]

The fighting is more advanced in this movie.

[@gorkskoal9315]

lol 😂 yeah the eternals were fuck all in the comics as well.

[@bibaolaitan5189]

@@mmwlyg 😂😂😂... ikr!!!... when captain America exist...

[@WorrizEcko]

@@mmwlyg Shang chi was lit 🔥 tho the rings and The mandarin was literally cool

[@FromtheHerts81]

An immortal female trapped in a girl’s body longing to feel adult desire could be considered dodgy!

[@hippiegamer112]

Sounds like a Discord moderator's fantasy.

[@grammarnazi4980]

Excellent comments right here

[@BWMagus]

It is an interesting idea, since so many people have this odd view that, apparently, folks under the age of 18 by even a single day, especially young ladies, are all innocent babies, but reaching legal age suddenly results in a huge mental and emotional shift overnight where all bets are off. The idea that, holy shit, someone who doesn't LOOK 18 might have ideas and thoughts and proclivities of an adult seems impossible to some, and it would be an interesting problem for characters to overcome.

[@kay_keik7842]

@@BWMagus but lets be honest thats not the intention here with this character and more like the joke thats made in a lot of anime/manga of the little girl thats "a 5000 year old dragon so its okay "

[@evertonporter7887]

Sounds like today's adults longing for their childhoods again.

[@cryangallegos]

Sounds like another case of- "Would've been better as a series" But, considering the complete lack of writing ability we've seen from the MCU, it'd probably make the failure just more drawn out

[@curious011]

Then go watch Batman and that mess. There are no perfect movies.

[@dokuganryu1565]

@@curious011 Which Batman?

[@linkwolf2196]

@Ysabela No

[@hariman7727]

No it would not have made a better series, because the story itself is miserable and nobody wins.

[@screamybingus707]

@@curious011 what a sad excuse to justify shit writing. You can do better, mate.

[@MegaElgreco]

Did they ever explain why an Eternal (robot) was created deaf? I got 0 background of how she survived for 1000s of years with no ASL or way of communicating and how she became deaf. Was it just we need a disability so toss it in with no background or story arc? I guess that sums up the movie.

[@lyalllupin8789]

Marvel has done it once again, it has broken the record for the highest budget movie nobody asked for or wanted, which just goes to show that they have no idea of what to do after endgame and are probably in panic mode.

[@russiankodiak6849]

It’s like they didn’t know what set of characters to bring in, Fantastic 4 or X-Men would have been good if done PROPERLY, but they started with a bunch of nobody’s and ontop of that their movies were terrible

[@curious011]

you get what you get. no one cares what you WANT>

[@sunrisings292]

They are not interested in profits (or in you). They are interested in pushing their "message" to your kids, 24/7. Kids will find their "message" to be pretty "normal" in a decade. Mass Manipulation can be very simple... and it 'works'.

[@chico9805]

@The Orion There really is no hope for people like you.

[@shrek9772]

They need to come up with something else original endgame was the end. A good story has to have a end

[@TheLoos3Goos33]

They're just making me happier that I stopped caring after Endgame.

[@HiddenHandMedia]

Shit. I stopped caring during Endgame

[@macethorns1168]

Hell, I stopped caring *during* Endgame with the dude talking about dating other guys and the stupid ASS female empowerment moment shoehorned in.

[@curious011]

there hasent been much since endgame. what planet are you from?

[@maxim196]

@@macethorns1168Oh yeah...dismiss an entire movie because of only two scenes ...smh

[@thorodinson9782]

@@curious011 there has been a lot since endgame. Open your eyes

[@mikkelnpetersen]

"Upsetting the right people" The paying fans, are NOT the "right people" to upset.

[@lop1652]

@WiiManElite To early to tell, whether it's a bomb or not.

[@sunnyarchipelago3369]

I don't know why anyone pays for this. There are so many movies and shows to watch for free, no need to watch the latest one just because it's what the media talk about

[@dandannation9352]

The best thing about this film was definitely the action. Whenever powers or fighting were used, at least it looks cool. Especially the speedster

[@wrongthinker843]

That "adult desires in a child's body" is some heavy cringe that should put the writer on a list. A child's body cannot experience the only specifically "adult desires" that it would lack the ability to act upon.

[@daveeyes]

Knock, knock, this is the FBI investigating child porn in films...

[@CsDanex21]

It's literally a character in the comics by jack kirby. So yeah of course they'd touch on it. and there are a number people in real life that have rare diseases that stunt their aging or growth and they look like children or teenagers even though they are much older. It's a dilemma because they can never have normal relationships. It wouldn't make sense for them to ignore that crucial part of the character.

[@CynicalOldDwarf]

Characters like Sprite (and Monster Girl from Invincible) basically exists to 'please' the "But she's really 6,000 years old!!" neckbeard coomer types. But lets be honest, is this any surprise in a decade where Cuties already exists??

[@23093034]

There's enough peados in Hollywood to want such a character.

[@nebiros_at9473]

Shit Batman TAS touched on the idea. She went crazy from always being treated like a kid and took hostages.

[@dxbydt]

I was shocked to realize this was a movie, I thought this whole time that it was a TV show. If it had been a TV show it might have had the time to actually develop its cast of characters.

[@cmohr6998]

For real... Falcon and Winter Soldier probably should have been a movie and this a show.

[@martinez5566]

The only thing I looked forward to involving this film's release was the Drinker's review. He never disappoints.

[@mokeyjoe8357]

i was as anticipated as you were

[@timquinn3314]

That and the inevitable Eternals Pitch Meeting.

[@shrek187]

The movie did have some good representation of diversity. It had a diverse group of people that came together and disliked the movie.

[@CHERN0BYLCH1LD]

“a gay character that saves lives” didn’t save the film from getting butt f**ked tho 🤣🤣

[@skeletonshorror5184]

Hhahahahahahah 💀🔥

[@Jhayzer021]

Nyahahaha!

[@benjaminlomas3684]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@dl2one]

Doesn't matter dude, lives are being saved! Lmfao

[@timothygremlin9737]

The symbolism is hard. No, that's too easy xD

[@Lasastard]

When ticking as many boxes as possible becomes more important than telling a compelling, focused story...

[@johndiamond6931]

Absolutely 💯

[@_birdie]

You just described the entirety of the entertainment industry haha

[@prasetyodwikuncorojati2434]

Thats how most recent movie studios work.

[@productcup]

"Who the hell approved this?" could sum up the phase4 experience.

[@hifismiffy]

I demand more deviants - ones wearing dodgy rubber and leather outfits. Let's reassess the film rating, It's Monday, we need some humour ! 😆

[@galacticandromeda]

Disagree. Phase 4 can be interesting.

[@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus]

@@galacticandromeda I regret asking already but why is that

[@galacticandromeda]

@@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus Such arrogance and contempt. If you regret then don't ask.

[@RogueFox2185]

The Eternals: “Imagine a film where everyone is Cyclops, while the dialogue itself is all written by the Architect from The Matrix: Reloaded.” -Doug Walker

[@NotCOPPAFTCA]

**Cuts To Doug Walker In A Ball On The Floor**

[@donniepatt9514]

@mr nobody dude stop spamming

[@gavinsfriend3901]

If Doug walker says it’s bad I believe the master of shite

[@markthorby1164]

🤣🤣

[@ghostwarrior3878]

@@donniepatt9514 already reported

[@SeraphsWitness]

"LGBTQ representation will save lives" is one of the dumbest phrases to ever be in a headline.

[@ericlamont4130]

This is exactly how I feared the MCU would progress after Endgame. Cap’s gone, Tony’s gone, Thanos is dead… the leading characters are gone and there’s no compelling thread tying the films together. Sad to see the MCU floundering like this.

[@curious011]

Then go watch morbios or venom. Leave the MCU to others.

[@ericlamont4130]

@@curious011 um, no?

[@k.m.sparks1190]

@@curious011 people said the same thing you have about the last Jedi, and to go off robot head "Just because it's a big company or a lot of money was made doesn't mean it gets a pass from criticism and should immediately be praised as great" If fans see something that's good, and want it to continue being good they shouldn't just leave because they "can't accept change" or "don't like where it's going" We shouldn't lower our standards because of a big company

[@muchstupider542]

I agree if spiderman is out of the equation then the mcu is fucked because theres barely any good characters everyone recognizes

[@kurtbarlow5408]

@@curious011 yup I stopped watching the utter woke shite that’s the MCU after Loki

[@squoblat]

So, the plot of the Eternals is basically a team of immortal people performing a late term abortion?

[@luchomscyfy]

You are not wrong.

[@usuariosarcastico512]

Was the "it's okay to kill a innocent baby to allegedly save other people" nonsense, with "the monsters aren't really bad even though they are trying to kill innocent people" "subversion of expectation" everyone who watched any movie in the last ten years could easily predict.

[@Yozzer72]

😂😂

[@luchomscyfy]

@@usuariosarcastico512 the worse: nothing is important in this movie. It's like, showing these themes or hard subjects, it's just a "to-do" list. It's not a movie, it's just like a list of things you can put in a movie to make it look "deep" or having some "real world" issues. But it doesn't care, because is presented with the immaturity of a 12-years old kid. Or a Twitter user.

[@Stereo_type1982]

When "they were hibernating" would've been a better way of explaining why they couldnt (didn't) interfere with Thanos and Ultron, who would've both fucked the one task the Eternals were there to perform. You know the writing team had well and truly checked out.

[@hardboiledatheist9772]

it was fully explained, and all it would have done is delay the birth of the celestial. You can not like the explanation but for any of us that had read the comics, it was the same explanation that would work there.

[@thefool8224]

they were having toast with mr.popo, thats why they couldnt answer the call

[@MagicHamsta]

Ironically "they were hibernating" would also explain why virtually none of them had any character growth. Ajax sends them off and they supposedly spend 7,000 years to live amongst the peoples, etc etc.... Only Bollywood guy seems to have had any modicum of growth....but literally none of them exhibit any of their growth. *facedesk*

[@reignman30]

@@hardboiledatheist9772 Wiping out half the planet would only delay the birth of the celestial, but deviants killing humans one by one isn't merely a delay? Do deviants kill humans faster than they can reproduce?

[@Stereo_type1982]

@@hardboiledatheist9772 they can't interfere with extinction level events when they are there to grow and advance the species doesn't sound fully explained to me at all.

[@yabada7866]

First time I watched this movie, I thouth I know why I didn't like it, but after listening you, I realized there are much more things that are bad in this movie.

[@screenname8267]

"Having a diverse cast is not a magical shield you can use to protect your movie from criticism" TLJ: Have we met?

[@matthewronsson]

Yep. They think "diversity" gives their tripe plot armor and a shield against criticisms when the project fails.

[@hiamaraldvaan7221]

Nice

[@cm9241]

@WiiManElite you don't know what communism is.

[@jjbanana2774]

@@cm9241 that is exactly what communism does. Destroys culture and force you to believe in "the message" which turns into the doctrine of the ruling party.

[@Sentinel82]

@@cm9241 Everyone knows what Communism is. It's what happens when some rich f*** wit with no life experience comes to be in charge of a country and think they can make the universe "fair". It's also what murdered millions in the 20th century. Not much more needs to be said about it.

[@josephlascola6592]

My brother is 16 and he goes to every marvel movie with his friends at the theater. He liked Shang chi and to be honest I kinda did too but I was off the heels of mortal kombat. This movie I asked him what he thought and he said: I feel like you do when you complain about diversity in a movie covering up a bad plot. Basically, he finally figured out guilt trip marketing the hard way lol

[@dearthofdoohickeys4703]

Ooof. When a 16 year old fan is not impressed, you _know_ it’s bad.

[@Facade953]

At least Shang Chi was a fan and entertaining martial arts film. Not a boring and woke dumpster fire!

[@jimjimjim6841]

You sound scared to say you liked Shang Chi.

[@maxdrags3115]

@@Facade953 Barely woke at all, and you have garbage taste to think this movie was boring.

[@greghorn7371]

@@jimjimjim6841 right lol it was fire

[@Dustbinlid1]

10 Eternals, 10 chances at being able to sell spin-offs.

[@xlortiz]

thank god it's "DIVERSE"

[@SeagullsGather]

10 action figures and as many as 10 markets - sorry countries - you can pander to with some location shots.

[@Kadejones01]

Well, apart from the eternal child. It’d have to be a new kid actor every movie.

[@vassilev1985]

U mean 10 failed chances I assume

[@12abax]

10 money grabbers lost

[@Spiceodog]

“ well, this sounds like it’s going to be an amazing show for Disney+” “ oh, no this is going to be a movie” “ I know what I said “ - Pitch meeting

[@perseusjoppa426]

They promoted this film's "diversity", "inclusion" and "representation" as its main assets and strengths, but the factual truth is that only a very small percentage of humanity cares about those things (as noisy and vocal as these people may be). The overwhelming majority of people want good stories, endearing and solidly developed characters, and pure escapism and entertainment, not lectures on ideologies that only interest a few and clearly ruin it all in their path.

[@masontrupe9047]

Underrated comment.

[@aydinhyder3387]

It had all of that lol stop hating

[@redroverredrover679]

Str8 faX

[@mikespike2099]

MCU Thinking These Days: Latest Oscar Director + Famous Actors + Massive CGI budget = Popular Movie 🙃

[@dindajgnmrh2177]

Hollywood is woke man

[@beowulfsrevenge4369]

They should have taken their time with the Eternals. Get a good director, screen writer and stunt coordinator. Sparingly used CGI or used quality CGI. Focused on one maybe two characters at a time. Started from when the Eternals came to earth and explored how they actually affected humanity. Made a couple of movies building up to the Celestial hatching and actually explored that conflict. Above all they should actually cast actors that fit the roles. They have a couple of veteran actors but everyone of them acted woodenly throughout the movie. Also a Korean Gilgamesh? Seriously? Gilgamesh was Mesopotamian, modern day Iraq, Syria or Israel not Korea.

[@newtpondskipper]

But boom! Smash! CGI!!!!!!!!!!!! The Korean Gilgamesh was a bit of a slap in the face.

[@biancaverdeschi880]

A Korean Gilgamesh?? Really? Ridiculous. We can't we see Gilgamesh how he really is? Mesopotamic: the epic was written in Akkadic in Babylon.

[@quannguyenle9775]

@@newtpondskipper lol, that is one huge slap to the audience (got that? the actor of gilgamesh is famous for his role as a gangster who like to slap his opponents ) welp, bad joke, gonna grab my coat and leave now

[@rileyjfosbre6383]

Well, I mean the Japanese made Gilgamesh a blond dude, and Hollywood has made it clear that “comic book accuracy” is something they are willing to sacrifice for the sake of diversity. Honestly, it should kind of just be the expectation at this point.

[@trizz1350]

Thats what i thought why make gilgemesh korean fate did him so much better

[@Thunderl1ps1977]

It's basically the cinematic version of their ill conceived Inhumans show.

[@samuelwinner6885]

Except Eternals was actually good. So I don't see the point you're trying to make.

[@airnicco3255]

I honestly thought they were the exact same characters. What is even the difference between them ?

[@lilbitoveverything9255]

Or the MCU's Batwoman

[@JJ-no8fk]

@@samuelwinner6885 dang you thought that was good? Even Dune was “good” and I only gave it a 7/10. So you’re saying this was better than Dune?

[@samuelwinner6885]

@@JJ-no8fk I thought dune was awesome. I also thought this movie was awesome personally. Am I not allowed to like movies which I like?

[@noturbusiness9736]

The number of ‘cool ideas’ they tried to fit into this movie rivals that of the number of characters. It should have started as a series to introduce the characters so people could actually know who they are, let alone care about them. The evolving deviant would be a better fit as a serial antagonist. It could all lead up to their realization of the emergence and what their true purpose is. Then have it lead into the movie where they face the moral dilemma or something. Not a super original idea but likely would have done better that way. It’s funny how by trying to fit so many concepts into the short runtime it just seemed to move so slowly.

[@vincentehernandez4762]

I “WOKE” up half way through the movie only to discover I eternally regretted it

[@jojosoni]

nice puns

[@bottlethrower1544]

You sir are a gentleman and a scholar. I salute you!

[@anuragchowdhury4101]

Gold Comment

[@ericambrose7024]

I see what you did there.

[@jesusalejandrogutierrezsul9625]

Take your like, Shakespeare!

[@miketacos9034]

I saw an article saying the Eternals would disrupt Dune’s success. Lmao

[@Ghodzilla]

Eternals made 72M this weekend, Dune made 7M.

[@everynametaken]

@@Ghodzilla Eternals came out this weekend, Dune has been out for two weeks now. Not surprising.

[@DoofusChungus]

@@Ghodzilla wait... 72 mil for a marvel movie? Lmao thats sad

[@Grasslander]

@@Ghodzilla People will still watch Dune a decade from now when everyone has forgotten The Eternals.

[@WimukthiBandara]

@@Grasslander That's a streatch thinking it will take ten years for people to forget about The Eternals

[@noodkiller123]

One of the biggest issues I’m having is with the thanos. He’s a deviant, they literally confirm that with Eros. And if the real plan was for a celestial to be born wiping out half of all life would stop thousands of celestial births. I just do not understand why arishem would have let this happen. I do get the no interfering in human matters but this literally affected the celestials so wtf?

[@UTock]

Well arishem is not omniscient so he would have only known after the snap happened

[@noodkiller123]

@@UTock but he had Ajax on earth and could contact him and it looks like she did regularly anyways. I get maybe they didn’t know thanos was a deviant because he doesn’t look like a normal deviant and they’ve had all there memory’s wiped but i would assume when the black order attacked they would know it’s thanos and if they are after the stones even if Ajax didn’t put it together I assume arishem would have

[@thefallencog]

Thanos is confirmed to be a true eternal. He suffered from Deviant syndrome while he was born. a fragment of his genetic structure resembles a deviants structure, but he is otherwise entirely an eternal. The most recent thanos comic arc confirmed hes indeed a pure eternal other then suffering from Deviant syndrome birth Before that arc, thanos was still considered an eternal, but one of the spinoff brands of eternals. A Titanian eternal. Thanos is now confirmed to be a pure, true eternal. (again, outside of the birth defect)

[@vahlen5281]

This has always been an issue with super hero universes, be it in comics or the big screen: You reach inevitably a point where there are just so many heroes cramped into your fictional universe that their respective standalone movies where they face "generic world ending threat #536" completely on their own become simply illogical.

[@noodkiller123]

@@thefallencog the thanos thing doesn’t annoy me as much as the fact that they let thanos wipe out half the universe and I get they aren’t omnipotent but the eternals were on earth while this was going down and Ajax could have told arishem someone was collecting the stones and I’m sure he would know what’s going on

[@Liverator]

My favorite part is when the Mind Control Guy argues that Dimentia Lady should be given a choice whether her memory gets wiped or not, then he immediately goes on to mind control a horde of people, thereby removing THEIR choice. Though runner ups were when - Celestial Guy comes to Earth in the end credits scene, tells protagonist girl that he won't destroy Earth, and then procedes to tell the protagonist girl that he will probe her memories to decide if he will destroy Earth. - Dementia Lady's dementia is said to be because she's remembering the previous planets that got destroyed and is trying to kill the other Eternals to stop the Celestial from awakening. Then she still tries to kill them even when she knows that they are trying to stop the Celestial from awakening - Deviant Antagonist claims to have assimilated all of Punchy-man's memories, says that he wants to protect his deviant race, then proceeds to try and kill the Eternals in the climax when he know that they are trying to stop a world ending event that would annihilate the remaining deviants on Earth.

[@dama301]

Top comment

[@JESL_TheOnlyOne]

I have to admit you make some good observations. My standards for comic book movies might be relaxed, but I do have some, and you pointed out a couple of plot points that are really kind of stupid.

[@SharpestSniper99]

Eternals: *heavily fails and will never make back it’s budget* Spider-Man in about a month: “Fine. I’ll do it myself”.

[@greygorygaming]

*About a month later* Spider-Man: I crapped all over the floor with my pathetic nostalgia bait.

[@yeahboyz9314]

Sony money babyyyyyyyy

[@SharpestSniper99]

@@greygorygaming it’s gonna get it’s box office bucks even if it does suck.

[@greygorygaming]

@@SharpestSniper99 Yup. That says where we're at as an audience.

[@curious011]

It already has suceeded. It opened past Shang Chi. You are just repeating socila media. did you see the movie?

[@kennethcrist443]

The original Eternals comic was Jack Kirby’s take on “Chariot of the Gods”. He wanted it set on an Earth separate from the regular Marvel Earth but that request was not followed as they met a Hulk robot and Thor on a few occasions. It was light-hearted goofy fun. This movie looks like it is anything but those things.

[@Dragonage2ftw]

Neil Gaiman was the one who made the characters popular. It's doubtful he wrote them like that.

[@kennethcrist443]

@@Dragonage2ftw I have enjoyed a couple of prose short stories by Gaiman. I have enjoyed none of the comic books by Gaiman that I have bought and read. His Eternals may be good or bad, I do not know. But if they are like what is depicted in the trailer, they are not a group of characters that interest me. I prefer the Kirby/Thomas Eternals. I prefer my comic book characters to be fun, adventurous heroes who confront tragedy but do not walk around as if all the problems of the world are their fault and they are doomed to a morose existence of never-ending suffering and toil. Dragonage2ftw, thanks for the info about Gaiman. I appreciate your informative response.

[@victor4782]

Only Kumail Nanjiani's character and his cohort were the light-hearted and goofy moments. Everything else felt boring.

[@4inaftermath454]

This movie is so far from what your saying light even cover the distance to get to it

[@mikespike2099]

MCU Thinking These Days: Latest Oscar Director + Famous Actors + Massive CGI budget = Popular Movie 🙃

[@kdrecords4562]

"The trailers looked about as much fun as a two-week self-catering holiday in Afghanistan." Drinker, sometimes your roasts are just... 200 proof.

[@Scylithen]

200 proof, unsurvivable, nah it'll be fine.

[@hifismiffy]

You could have more entertainment walikng around Paisley than watching this crap .

[@dannypalin9583]

Missed opportunity to say that Sprite was Jimmy Krankie.

[@Tevildo]

Absolute alcohol is only 175° proof. But I'm sure that The Drinker can get it to 200 somehow.

[@Query_8P]

Your voice always reminds me of the early days of homestuck. Not in a bad way I think someone with a similar accent used to do a let's read version of it online; Listening to your videos is nostalgic and soothing and helps me clean and tidy up, I am so grateful TTvTT

[@Unrealchamp88]

I haven't watched a single marvel movie since Endgame, but I've seen Dune twice now. The film Dune has actually got me interested in the universe and has inspired me in my own writing. Marvel films have cool moments of 'oh that's neat' but that is it. I think something that inspires you in your own life has more worth than something that merely distracts you from it.

[@rajmahanta5737]

As much as I liked Dune and am generally uninterested in Marvel movies, I could totally see someone getting inspired after watching a Marvel movie and get into film making. Everybody is different.

[@Unrealchamp88]

@@rajmahanta5737 Totally agree. I think Dune is perhaps more relatable because it deals with very human concepts and doesn't wrap it is tons of CGI, SFX, and enough camera action to make an ADHD kid feel neaseus. I watched part of Age of Ultron not long ago with my 6 y/o son and its starting to feel dated already. 20, 30 years from now and o forsee Dune still being and feeling relevant, so it'll inspire across a broader stretch of time as well imo.

[@JADBeats]

@Jake Paul Pound-For-Pound LOL

[@thedoomer9250]

@Jake Paul Pound-For-Pound Got more of that good crack mate?

[@yunidhkumar5571]

@Jake Paul Pound-For-Pound another joke plss

[@mkocel]

"we were instructed to only fight the deviants" - Thanos is half deviant.

[@mish375]

If wiping out half the universe doesn't get their attention, then nothing should. Terrible writing.

[@mkocel]

@@mish375 Right? like what if the snap wiped out that planet sized fetus they're supposed to protect? OOPS. LOL

[@mish375]

@@mkocel Like, whoops, we failed. Pretty sure the Celestials wouldn't be pleased with that. The Eternals had one job.

[@728GT]

Not sure they are going with the half Deviant Gene in the Mcu. Also only Two of the Eternals knew the "real" reason for their existence.

[@GloriousSquizoKing.]

@@mkocel And if Ultron succeeded on dropping the city, they would also be fucked because there's no more inteligent on the planet.

[@CommanderOfTheSun]

Avenger: I struggle with a rage problem. I'm forced to walk the planet alone, because of the monster inside me. I've left loved ones and friends behind, and I'm constantly being hunted. All I want to do is help people... but that always leads to me hurting people. It beats me down to the point where i've tried to take my own life in order to end this nightmare. But I cannot. I just wish people would understand me. Eternal: I'm fat, black, and gay.

[@davidkane1658]

Lol...nice

[@lunch2102]

That was beautiful

[@knightheaven8992]

The Hollywood cliché, of the non threatening black man.

[@theniceguy7824]

Truth

[@neutronstarpilot4393]

Didn't he feel guilty for his part in developing the technology for the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki?