the fashion industry hates older women

[@emeliaearheart2431]

in a recent vogue cover, Naomi Cambell was photoshopped to look younger in a piece that was meant to empower the models of the 90’s. Ironic.

[@mayaleeleng]

Wow 😒😒

[@chunli6197]

naomi was the least offensive…

[@barttrodd7918]

Vogue photoshops everyone. They also photoshops teenagers so 🤷🏼

[@slonmish]

@@barttrodd7918 that’s hardly an excuse, more like the root of this evil

[@lisettegarcia]

😢

[@diamondslashranch]

I’ve never understood why they don’t market stylish clothing to older women because we are the ones with the money😂

[@keddy5627]

And the skin care products are advertised on young models…wtf? WE are the ones with the disposable income to buy those treatments! Grrrr!

[@Bellaa4578]

Some brands have been doing this though!

[@joannewittenbrook8051]

We are also the ones who know what we like and don’t need to buy a whole wardrobe every year.

[@VividAnarchy]

older women dont fall for bullshit as easily lol and have a better idea of what they already like. disposable income vs income can be quite different too, young people generally make less but they also have more disposable income for more frivolous things and less long term saving goals

[@tiasara5967]

You have to look but it’s there. Eileen fisher is pricey but it’s designed for us and bigger sizing too, start there. It’s everywhere it just isn’t waving itself in your face like young fashion does that’s all. Adjust your algoriths in daily life and you’ll see.

[@esther.sketch]

As an art museum worker I see a lot of older women that are immaculately dressed in their own unique ways. I always compliment them, and they act surprised, as if nobody has noticed their efforts in years. I think this is one of the easiest ways to make positive change in this realm. Older women have an amazing sense of color coordination and accessorizing. There's usually a story behind a part of their outfit. Also, they have more buying power than us young people. About trends, I think the winning strategy for any age is to only follow the trends that personally speak to you.

[@lucie4185]

I am not 'old' as such but I will say that I am much less tolerant of clothes that don't "pull their weight" in terms of comfort and versatility than I was 10 years ago. I can see how decades of experience in dressing yourself transforms into its own stylishness.

[@AliciaGuitar]

I feel like you just described me 😅 the top compliment i get is how everything i wear matches. I am confused by this and do not understand why everyone does not color coordinate 😅

[@sweettreatsoverload4296]

Buy clothing with good fabric. Buy items that fits you well. I wear what ever I want. I could care less what society thinks. I still shop in yourhful shops at 56. Wear what makes you comfortable. Enjoy your clothing it's yours. I have a young looking body so I will flaunt it if I want too.

[@esther.sketch]

great advice!@@sweettreatsoverload4296

[@deemarie5534]

When I was younger, I definitely did not have the buying power, but my imagination and creativity made up for it. Plus I could get vintage for for cheap.Dressing vintage was not embraced in the 80s. Now that I'm older, I've gained weight and nothing fits right. And finding anything decent is expensive. Not a lot of options for anyone over a size 16.

[@DiabolikalFollikles]

and as an "older woman", i hate the fashion industry right back. I design my own fashion and jewelry thank you very much. ♡

[@tomjones2157]

🤩🤩🤩

[@GabrielleTollerson]

RESPECT!! ❤️

[@raerae2885]

👏🏽 👏🏽 👏🏽

[@alisonmercer5946]

Why do so mqny adult women like fashion magazines and all of the fashion when it is modelled by people so young . with ma n y. Models looking like kids because they are kids still in. High school

[@nelliebly6616]

Same

[@emb21982]

I used to work in an art gallery in London and the best dressed people we would see were women aged 50+. They had such a colourful, creative and fun sense of style and were old enough to have accrued the money to buy high quality pieces.

[@barbarat5729]

That's because we are mature enough to wear what we like and not give a $hit what anyone else thinks.

[@ColorJoyLynnH]

I don’t have a lot of money, but I know how to thrift because I know how to make clothes. My mother was born in 1934 and they had to make their own clothes on the farm or they didn’t have clothes during World War II. They made things out of curtains, and adult clothes got cut down. They didn’t go to the fabric store, although they would buy chicken feed in bags that had prints on them that they could turn into dress. I know how to look at the labels and assess the fiber content and I know how to recognize well-made things. I buy things Thrifted, which means a lot of my clothing was made in the United States when there was a garment workers union that assured quality. Workers didn’t starve or go hungry sewing clothing if it had that union label on it.

[@Lasopamuerte]

I hate how acceptable it is to be ageist. I was shocked when there was a trend of people saying “the only reason I’d go to a school reunion is to see who didn’t use sunscreen” like wow what??

[@carlajohnson5601]

Exactly, I felt that way before I went to my 25 year high school reunion, but at the reunion, I gained so much respect for my classmates who just came as they were. The most interesting people are the ones who have really lived and don't feel they need botox.

[@TreasureForeverOfficial]

lol that’s toxic wtf

[@Shirumoon]

@Anneliese210 Okay this is very meta but let's not shame people for their loneliness or assume it. I feel like more often than not bullies are the ones with a ton of friends and a bunch of social influence, otherwise they couldn't even afford to behave like that.

[@siilverREAL]

@@Shirumoon idk depends on the bully. the dude who harassed me/my friends in high school had a friend group of 5 but other than that the rest of the school fucking HATED him

[@shadowdawnl6930]

That is just and ugly way to be.

[@NyangJinArt]

Me being 31 and and having a 20 year old ask me what my skin care routine is bc I look "young for my age" really put into perspective how people think of women past their twenties.

[@RossBradley-vd5rc]

@@ddfffdddfIts called having a preference? Whats wrong with that? It was wrong when homosexuals were expected by society to deny or supress their preference, how is this different? No-one is being questionable, just deal with it.

[@starkman78]

@@RossBradley-vd5rcdude, what are you even talking about? Who said anything about dating? And what does any of this have to do with LGTBQ folks? 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@kathygann7632]

Just wait till you’re 70, but actually as soon as you go through menopause, you become invisible.

[@Bobojuno]

@@RossBradley-vd5rcwhat does that have to do with anything they said lol

[@Arginne]

@@kathygann7632hmm what does that say about american society?

[@SakuraSamael]

36 years old here and feeling this deeply. A few years ago, I worked my ass off - literally - and lost a ton of weight, and in the process, I realized I could finally fit into those cute Japanese lolita dresses that I had always admired in my teens but could never afford. If you think my mature, stable, full-time employed butt didn't go right out and buy the cutest dress I could find, you are dead wrong. And you know what? I looked amazing. More importantly, I FELT amazing. I went from being the woman with seven copies of the same loose men's shirt to exploding into femininity. It blossomed into me trying out so many styles I had never believed I could pull off, and I have never felt more beautiful, more fashionable than now, being in my thirties. Sometimes I question if the pink hair bows are "appropriate" for me anymore, but then I go back through the last few years of photographs and see my smiling face - happy, lively, radiant - and I shut those silly thoughts down. Life's too short; it's not worth the misery. I usually get compliments, but to those sets of judgemental eyes, I say this: at least I'm brave enough to try. I'm not hiding in the background anymore.

[@littleamberamethyst]

That's awesome. We're about the same age, and I'm into lolita and alt fashion too. Due to being plus size I make most of my dresses. I'm so happy that you found a fashion you love, and you feel defines you. Also, those huge hairbows look adorable on everyone.

[@liptoncunningham6666]

I'm in my 40's and i still wear lolita and ouji. Rock on! Life is def too short to worry about others while you're doing something harmless and fun!

[@kckazcoll1]

good for you getting the cute dress - love it! 36 is still young though :)

[@livelovedaydream]

I wore a lot of loli in my 20s and had so much fun with it! I love seeing other Lolis out and about rocking their adorable JSKs

[@Smittenhamster]

I died my hair bright pink when I was 37 so... I feel you 😂 But you know what, in the words of Dolly Parton, I paid A LOT of money to look the way I do, so you bet I'll get ad much joy out of it as I can. (Also, I got complimented a lot by other women my age. I think even if people just look, they do really admire the courage)

[@plywood7894]

They could capitalize on older women fashion! I come from Japan and I always wondered why there aren’t fashion magazines targeted to older women in the United States. In Japan, there’s fashion magazines for almost every demographics so they make sure they make money off of everyone

[@MyCrownstar]

There was a magazine in the US called "More" that I adored. It was target audience was women 40+ ( I think) sadly they went out of business😪

[@delideri3518]

I think women in Japan care more about fashion than in the west even at an older age so it’s marketable.

[@chronic2023]

​​@@delideri3518"The West"? That covers a lot of countries. Maybe American women don't care but quite a few older European women do. I am over 70 and find plenty of items for women over 30 here plus several women's magazines catering to us older gals. An American friend came to visit me for two weeks and I asked her to bring clothes for when we planned on going to restaurants in the evening. She came with nothing and basically wore the same odd stretchy pants and dowdy sweater the whole time.

[@MadamCactus]

As a 41 year old woman, I can attest to this feeling of pressure from society to “look young”. I have recently noted that I do seem invisible in public. I am in decent shape, dress well, and wear makeup. What is causing this? I DON’T and WON’T dye my hair! I am letting those silvers come in. I recently cut my own hair (curly) to an ear length bob. It felt so invigorating! The silver is coming in on the sides. With my texture, I jokingly say I am turning into the bride of Frankenstein. Well guess what? She’s pretty awesome! I too have scars from surgeries, child birth, and just plain old living. But those scars tell a story. Just like my silver hair. I have always worn red or darker lip stick and I love how the darker lipsticks look so striking with the salt and pepper hair I now have. I have been an old soul for ages, since a child, and finally feel like I’m growing into my true self, comfortable in my own skin. Even my family thinks I should dye my hair, but it empowers me more to defy society! It’s a shame how men are “silver foxes” as they age, but women are seen so differently. Stay strong ladies, we must set a good example for the next generation! ❤

[@jesslemcke1863]

This is a beautiful sentiment! I look forward to having grey hair, I think it will suit me very well. I don’t fear aging, I’m very proud of myself for making it this far!

[@MadamCactus]

@@jesslemcke1863 love your spirit!!! 🤗

[@patriciaellinghausen4365]

I was in my late 30s- and prematurely gray. and invisible. I was told i needed to dye my hair to be employable. Reluctantly. i did dye my hair. got a job, and was noticed by men. and i was very sad. about it. it was something i couldn't fight. maybe when i retire.

[@MadamCactus]

@@patriciaellinghausen4365 it’s so sad that women are made to feel this way because of the color of our hair, and that the workforce further perpetuates this behavior 😩

[@nessiemour4750]

At 28 my friend told me that my white hairs make it look like I don't take care of myself. Why does hiding a natural process equate to not taking care of oneself?? The white hairs made me feel sophisticated and sexy. I ended up dyeing my hair afterwards bc my grandmother made a comment too 😒

[@ChrisBrooks34]

It's interesting that a lot of marketing towards older women share similarities to marketing clothes for plus size women. The fashion industry makes it seem as though it's just too much work to find something that appropriately fits a body that isn't straight sized. So it just tells older women and fat women piss off to the corner so we can dress the young, skinny, attractive girls.

[@denisegore1884]

That's not new. in the 1930s, larger sized knitting patterns were described as being for matrons. the pictures were of old, frumpy women. Luckily, most of us older women were taught to knit and sew and do not have to buy what shops tell us we should wear.

[@willytodd2750]

The fact of the matter is if you are fat or old you might as well be wearing a burlap sack.

[@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118]

@@willytodd2750 it's certainly true that a lot of the fashion industry thinks like that. But whether if you're fat or old or both, there's a way you can dress well. It's just more effort to find what works and what doesn't. Plus sized stores/brands tend to make shapeless sacks because it's the easy choice for them (everyone, regardless of body shape, will be able to get their body in it), brands for older women tend to keep things boring and basic because they think that's their safe choice. People who make their own clothes aren't limited by what stores offer, and wearing something that's properly fitted, properly constructed and made out of good materials goes a long way towards looking your best.

[@missfeisty]

​@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118 I agree with you, but it sucks that people who are older and/or fat have to learn extra skills to be able to dress themselves how they want to. I had to learn how to take out the seam allowance so that items fit me better or buy things that are bigger than I wear so I can take in the garmet to fit my curves correctly. Would be nice to just buy something that fits 🤷

[@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118]

@@missfeisty I totally understand the frustration of needing extra skills just to dress well. But on the other hand I know that plenty of slim people (myself included when I was younger) also have issues with the way things fit. Very few people will be able to buy something and have it fit them as it should right from the rack. Also with the decline of garment quality and how much more expensive it has gotten to get quality clothing I think garment making is a valuable skill for anyone. I've been sewing my own items from scratch for 20 years, but it's only been this year that I've gotten really into altering existing garments. It's opened up my world.

[@HighAsHeckPriestess]

Ive seen more and more older people getting online wearing clothes "too young for their age" and im living for it!! There was a darling woman on tiktok who passed away last year near 90 years old who was dressing up in matching outfits with her granddaughter and stealing the show❤❤ she was so genuinely overjoyed and feeling herself and her confidence and smile were so contagious! Rewatching her tiktoks has been helping my own self-image and allowing myself to enjoy fashion again

[@alienpotatosquid7850]

omg what was her handle?

[@aestaeticedits7998]

I love this! Clothes have no age! It doesn’t matter if we dress “younger” or “older” all that matters is dressing in what we love and makes us happy!

[@cccc7098]

Oh no she passed away? RIP to a real one!

[@MsMckenzie2011]

Right!! Just because someone has been alive for longer that means they have to look a certain way🙄 yawn

[@johnindigo5477]

Tommy lee is 60 and looks great in his fits.

[@breadpilled2587]

As a disabled 30 year old, ive been made prematurely elderly. You cant wear most fashionable dresses and skirts in a wheelchair. Heels i once loved are dangerous for me now. I dont have the energy or healthy skin for makeup anymore. I am constantly laying in bed and never leaving the house so why bother getting dressed at all? Fashion and disability is hardly talked about. Like older women, we are often forgotten and expected to fade away because we make people sad and fear their own mortality. Disabled experiences vary so widely, but this is just my own. Ive experienced what it means to look frail, like im wasting away. Ive seen the disgust and, worse, pity in the eyes of others when i try to dress up or go out. Its like we are expected to wear hospital gowns or be invisible. Nothing else.

[@jvnd2785]

The hard truth is the "normies" want to see us (disabled women) miserable- so that they can feel better about themselves. The best way how to confuse and upset their preposterous ideas? Give every person you meet a brilliant smile! Be joyful! Laugh a lot! Not as a pretence/mask but because you are genuinely happy with your life, you understand. I may suffer from several disabilities and experience excruciating pain on a daily basis (and the levels of my exhaustion are positively abysmal) but I am joyful- I praise God with every breath because He is giving me another day, another minute, another heartbeat.

[@ravenmeyer3740]

You hit it on the head. Being frail, disabled, or old reminds people of their own mortality. That said, do dress up in something beautiful, do wear a makeup that might enhance your eyes or cover skin blemishes. Do wear your hair up or styled. Wear some cool tennis runners. Most people aren’t very bright, and are willfully ignorant. Anyway, show your spirit, and in doing so you are saying to them, here’s back at you.😊I’m 73, and I rarely leave the house either. But I still wear long skirts and kurtis. Kurtis are long East Indian tops.

[@Xarynnaxarynna]

You are so brave and raw at the same time. ❤

[@AD-eg9cw]

I've been dealing with a spine injury for the past 6 years, I spent 3 of those years bedridden. I know it's not easy, but if you wear cute clothes for yourself, even when home alone, your mood will instantly be lifted. I couldn't move much, but looking down and seeing my nice cleavage truly brought me joy every day lol. I recommend yoga/athleisure pants and sports bras with dainty sneakers! Especially if they're color matched, and the sports bras that zip in the middle are really easy to put on, unlike the others. *SO* cute and comfy when you're bedbound/wheelchair bound. I would always get compliments at doc visits, but I was dressing for myself. If I look at ugly clothes or interior decor, I feel down, so I always try to beautify my body and my surroundings. I like to keep fresh flowers in every room. I hope hearing about my experience was helpful. I know your pain, and it doesn't have to be so bad! Also, if you're of legal age, have sex. It doesn't matter how mobile you are, there is *always* a way and it is sooo worth the extra effort. I've read about paralyzed people having orgasms from having their eyebrows touched. Our bodies are fascinating lol. And one more thing, please let me know if you'd like some skincare tips. I do a lot of medical research and have solved many medical mysteries.

[@gabbinggaby]

I'm so sorry people have made you feel that way. We live in a really selfish society. No one ever thinks about how they make others feel.

[@freetruth123]

My grey hair started coming in when I was in my 40s. It was a streak down the center of my head. My mother and grandma had a grey streak too, and as the grey hairs continued to come in, they seemed unaffected, so I didn’t think much of it. One day my childhood friend (we met at 12) said, you should color your hair, it ages you. I kept my gray hair, and last year one of my daughter’s girlfriends dyed a grey streak in her hair. She told my daughter I was her inspiration. I am 54, and I shared this story because mature women can set the tone for fashion, when they are too busy being authentically themselves. One of my favorite fashion icons is Iris Apfel, she is the embodiment of authenticity! Love yourself and enjoy life!!!!

[@sharonkaczorowski8690]

Beautifully said.

[@theanomaloushousewife886]

I stopped coloring when my hairdresser told me the texture would change and look dry and frizzy. So far, that hasn't happened yet and I love my grays. It's a really cool salt and pepper pattern that young people are always complementing. Thank you younger folks! You're much more accepting of us aging women than the older generations, but that's pretty typical of that crowd. So phooey on them. They don't like the music the young folks generate, they don't like their own generation of women, they don't like the kids their own generations of women raised, or the grandkids, or their endeavors. Sometimes, I just think it's global manopause we're all suffering through, because they have most of the microphones.

[@olgahein4384]

I'm 37 and in my teens i really wanted to have this light silver or ash-blond hair, even though my hair was really dark. After several failed bleaching attempts i gave up. Funny enough, i was told by every hair dresser that my hair is technically blonde, despite looking like a darkbrown with golden highlights. And when i learned that i will most likely get white hair and not grey when i age, i couldn't wait for it. During the last year i got my first ones, just above my left eyebrow. And those single hairs are more than wight, they reflect light as if they were metallic. When my mom saw it the first time, she said she thought i put some very fine lametta or stuff in my hair. Now i'm waiting for ALL of my hair to turn that way, in the meantime i'm working out and polishing my sewing skills and one day i will dress and style like a fairy godmother that looks like a Tuatha dé Danann by the artist Emily Balivet, or like a goth grandma in all black lace and nobody will be able to stop me cause i'll be old enough to not give an F about those dumb kids!

[@sharonkaczorowski8690]

@@olgahein4384 good for you! Mine is now going bright white. I want to put a purple stripe in it!

[@riveranalyse]

Don't know where you guys are from, but 33 is the average age in the UK when women start to get grey hair. Our expectations are way off

[@scrosby9186]

This is exactly how I've felt reading fashion advice to older women. Color, black, brown, dark navy and grey. And maybe a wee splash of color. They definitely want us to disappear into the background and not to be seen. Well, I'm calling BS on that. I love color. I'm 70. I wear what makes me happy and is comfortable. I like ethnic, hippie styles. My shape is apple. Gone are my Twiggy days. But my family loves me as I am, my husband still thinks I'm sexy. I don't want to be younger, I've earned the right to be unfashionable me. My hero is Iris Apfel

[@TracyGoldFashionOver40]

You go girl!

[@stephgilliam]

As a fat spinster, there are no age-based fashion transitions if you're overweight. I was considered "fat" in the 1990s and 2000s (a scale-shattering totally average height, weight, and BMI) and have only gotten fatter over the years. An adult woman told me at age 16 that "bigger girls" like me should wear all one color, ideally black or another dark color, because it makes us looker taller and slimmer. "Helpful" older ladies have been pawning their fashion advice on me ever since, because the three C's of being an overweight woman are the same as they are for older women. Essentially, unless you're a conventionally attractive, slim, young woman, you're expected to fade into the background until you disappear.

[@katew7770]

YUP! 90s and 2000s were a horrible time to be a fat 20/30-something. I had a great time in the 2010s and really found my style, had some fabulous dresses and felt like a million dollars despite still being fat, but then the pandemic happened and it coincided with menopause changes and now none of my beautiful dresses fit any more because I've now become potato-shaped rather than butternut squash-shaped!

[@chelinka777]

Yes im fat tol i agree

[@LuthienNightwolf]

Yes! I had this exact thought while I was watching the video. I've been on the heavier side since I was like 9, so I've never really had any reason to try and participate in fashion or trends. If I find something that I like and it fits me, I'm wearing it, I don't care what anyone says.

[@ely03cassandra]

I feel you… The moment puberty hit me, I gained weight and with the years it just got more. I’ve never felt like I could be fashionable. It’s pretty depressing thinking that I’m now 33 years old and I was never able to be part of the “young and attractive women”. They are getting older and probably will miss the time they’ve felt young and attractive. But at least they’ve experienced it for (probably) many years…

[@agoogleuser4356]

Black ladies don’t do that They look fat and sexy. If you feel sexy dress sexy. I use my vision to rehabilitate my mind. (by that I mean I look at other people living their best life and realize that I can too.)

[@avastans]

I've noticed how many TikTok comments berate older celebrity women for aging and wearing "older" clothing and say "What happened to her?" But then when another celebrity woman dons makeup, facials, sunscreen and "younger" expensive clothing to look younger, they'll say, "She's not natural, she's just rich. Act your age. Why are people so afraid of aging?" Older women get scrutiny no matter what and it's saddening. Just leave them alone. Ageism, paired with misogyny, is already too normalized in society when elderly people are one of the most disrespected age groups in society next to children.

[@raywilliams212]

Fear of aging killed my grandmother. My grandmother, who was admittedly an EXTREMELY vain woman, was absolutely terrified of aging. She had cancer and was given a medical report with bad news. Her husband suddenly got so excited and hopeful, pointing at the paper saying, "It isn't you! It's a completely different birthday!" She got a bit pissy and snatched the paper away saying "No, it's right." They had been married 15 years! And she was more upset that he had found out her age than finding out she had months left....

[@hannahsmith4007]

Omg I have a similar story from a friends relative who lied to everyone about her age. So committed to being younger she even held off retirement and collecting her pension

[@HeySlothKid]

My great-aunt once refused to speak to her sister for TWO MONTHS because they met up with an old school friend aat the post office and she said something like "I can't believe it's been fifty years". The crime here being that the strangers in the queue would do the maths and calculate that they were in their late 60s. She also tried to convince her personal trainer she was 35 when she was SEVENTY. Like she looked good for her age but would hve been a ROUGH 35. Her sister (my other great-aunt) and my gran both had the approach of "why lie about your age, nobody who matters cares"

[@nelsonth]

I am sorry for your loss, but how did the fear of ageing kill her? Wasn't it the cancer?

[@TKCTSTN]

I never knew my mom's age until the last year or so of her life. In 1979, we were in the hospital getting her admitted. They were asking her demographics & when they asked her age, she gave me a long look & reluctantly gave it.

[@diyeragae]

In my case, it’s a guy, one of our store clerks in my family's business. He started working for us around 10yrs ago. When he started, he said he was 30yrs old. He looked really older than that but nobody cares so much about it because there really are some people who looked waaaay too old than their actual ages. So we just thought he may be one of those. But the following year, on his birthday, some new loyal customer and new workers were curious and asked the question. He got pissed and reluctantly told them he was 30. So ofc, old workers and us were like... “Huh?? Shouldn’t he be 31 now?” but we didn’t say anything anyways cause it’s no big deal. The following year, same thing happened and his answer was the same - that he was 30yrs old. This time i was baffled and blurted my question “shouldn’t you be 32 now??” so others became baffled too. He got real mad, started ranting about why ask about other people’s age and why does it matter and completely avoided the question. 😅 Ever since we dont ask about his age. And when new people are curious and ask us (cause he wont answer them) we just say "it's one of the greatest mystery." 😅 But honestly, it's been 10yrs now. And while others just find him to "just be in the store as usual" to and my mom, not knowing his actual age is a tiny bit problematic because one of our workers major activities is to carry and arrange hundreds of sacks of rice every week. That's 50kilos of rice. Along with handling other heavy items. And while he can still do his job actually, we did notice a decline in his willingness to do- or rather, he becomes tired real easily now than before. So we just tried to adjust his workload to fit his energy. But more than that, is that our workers are supposed to get some benefits - like we apply them for government benefits - but we still haven’t finished his papers because he kept on avoiding giving us his documents. So he truly has nothing - no insurance, social security stuff, nothing. 😟

[@reginaj6038]

For me, the hardest part of aging isn’t watching myself morph - it’s watching in real-time, how ageism affects us, while also digesting those micro-aggressions and if you speak up against it you only alienate yourself further

[@kckazcoll1]

well said, thank you!

[@SofiaCalotti]

This! I'm afraid to be treated badly (seen as whiny for sticking up for yourself or others) as I've seen it happen to other women, but maybe it will help me not giving a f*ck.

[@labelmeposh]

True. I look at myself like wow. I don't mind TODAY, but I do find myself wondering about 10 years from now every blue moon. 🤷‍♀️

[@superfacch]

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only AFAB person I know that doesn't care about impending wrinkles and greying hair. I don't even mind being more invisible in public (still looking forward to that one since, though I'm 40, people still guess my age around 28) because I prefer to just mind my own business and not get cat called anyway. I just would like the respect my experience should dictate. I guess we'll see about that 😒

[@labelmeposh]

@@superfacch 40 is young

[@septsky98]

Wow the idea that even Mina feels weird about wearing certain styles or wonders what is appropriate is wild. Really underlines how pervasive this idea is. I understand not wanting to look like a child, but women who aren't even 30 are worrying about aging !!!?? Insane. The world is terrible to women.

[@ColorJoyLynnH]

It 65, I have a belly. At four, I had a belly. When I was four, I liked wearing pinafore/jumpers. At 65, I like wearing pinafores/jumpers. For one thing, you toss on a T-shirt and then you toss on, the jumper/pinafore and you are dressed. You don’t have to tuck things in just so. You are off and running. I have lived through many style trends, and I still wear the parts that I like. I will never stop wearing legwarmers because I get cold a lot and I live in Michigan. Occasionally, middle school girls will tell me how much they like my clothes. I think what they see is that I’m confident. I also wear bright colors and apparently , not everybody does. My best friend from high school had a mother who believed that you had to wear beige once you turned 50. I refuse to play that game even if someone thinks I should. I like colors and it makes me happy to wear them.

[@solarwinds-]

It's not unusual for women to worry about aging in their 20s/30s. I worried more about aging then than now. I worried less and less as I got older. You worry it's going to be horrible but when you get there, you realize it's not. All you did was lose your peace about it. I have found that it's an advantage to be older.

[@septsky98]

@@solarwinds- that's an interesting reflection, I think you make a good point. My sister who is about to be 30 seems much more stressed about it than my mom who just turned 53.

[@PaulaMartinez-sn1fw]

Yeah I turned 26 and it's even like when you go to clubs everyone is Gen Z and dressed incredibly different and I am shocked because I'm so young but I feel like a dinosaur hahahah and is weird also when I go to stores I'm like " will I look like an idiot trying to look 17 if I bought this?"

[@loritravis2734]

As an elder goth who is 50...I'm loving the aesthetic of dark academia meets Victorian gothic/romantic. This, I can pull off in an office, where people see me as a fashion forward person. I design and make my own clothing, so it helps to have unique fitting pieces.

[@ftrsaliyf-zd4wk]

you are not an elder goth

[@heavenj7]

Yesss to this! But you’re def not “elder” rock it 💕

[@LilyoftheValeyrising]

Hey yeah!!! I’m 50 as well. Have you heard of Jane Wilkes? She’s an awesome elder goth!!

[@wooogie672]

as a 20-year old baby bat, i loveee middle-aged/older goths y'all are so cool!

[@JAlexMendel]

Great topic, delightful illustrations of changing outlooks and expectations over the generations! From a business perspective, (in our capitalist economic society) my thoughts go another step; just a sidenote. Perhaps the fashion industries should capitalize on exploiting* our current demographics? The youth explosion of the 60's-70's was largely due to the surge of Babyboomers becoming teens and young adults. Today the pure volume of 45-> older population presents a significantly large market segment. Longer lifespans, and prejudices and/or insecurities (depending on one's generational perspective) triggered the massive market growth for products to address physical changes accompanying aging. Businesses tapped into the minds of 60's teens as much as the 35 year-olds recognizing how just yesterday they were 25. But clothing, fashion? Are they not missing a big part of the picture, opportunity to create styles that continue to inspire women to enjoy their couture - from sleek to bohemian or fancy to casual -- all comfortably, over what could easily be a full half of their lifetime? (*I don't particularly like the term 'exploit,' but it stood out to me years back in a business presentation.)

[@evildoesnotsleep-x2b]

this starts from us: stop normalizing people telling you "you look younger" as a compliment, it only reenforces the disdain men have for older women that gets passed down in culture. i don't want to look younger, i want to look my age, cause i'm proud of reaching it

[@NadezdaBeka]

I'm 24 and people at 22 started sayibg that I look good for my age thinking that I was 18-19. This implies that older teens are best looking which is so untrue, it also implies that I'm old and should be thankful to look younger. I'm not even baby faced, I just have good skin and doe eyes, and I get those comments when I don't wear makeup. I think it has to do with a certain idea about women's looks at that age, that I'm supposed to look more sexy and less natural.

[@lesbiangoddess290]

"I want to look my age" RIGHT. Its so creepy that being young is considered a compliment and there is a billion dollar industry all centred around "de-aging", whatever tf that means.

[@Jsarmy87124]

36 and people think I am 28 30 I am black but still

[@lisettegarcia]

You're so right. It's super obnoxious and way passé when people wish you a happy 25th birthday when you're clearly twice that. I always pop back with "no, this is what my age looks like on me." Ppl just need to stop, even in KZbin comments to celebrity appearances on talk shows like Fallon. They're almost always about women but even sometimes on men. *Ugh* 😣

[@Aelffwynn]

I look young for my age (and I am still young). I know people are just trying to be nice when they point it out, so I try to spin it in a positive direction by saying, "Thank you, I get the baby face genes from my grandma!" Then at least I'm thinking about my adorable grandma and not society's sad obsession with youth. (And I really do look and act a lot like her. Miss you, Grandma.)

[@MuchToDoAboutNowt]

OK so lemme get this straight. We spent hundreds of thousands years persevering in the natural world with only a handful of lucky individuals making it to old age, but now we all expect to get old yet simultaneously call it a mark of moral failure when you look old because you got old. I..... don't want to be part of this species any more 😂

[@hereforit2347]

Good point! 👍🏾

[@ScoundrelChestnut]

the brain isn't braining

[@ym2931]

Yeah I know it's absurd. No wonder why people are crazy and have mental disorders

[@LittleStrawbirdy]

the worst thing is this only applies to women.

[@vitoat123]

being old is no problem, just act your age/dress your age, and don't shame people or men because you are treated your age. Also have kids, don't be a girl boss shaming men or the "patriarchy" cuz your old and sad your not young anymore.

[@stellayates4227]

The great benefit of being an older woman is that you start to care less what others think of you. The clothing of today allows everyone to look good or interesting at any age so go out and enjoy the opportunity to make the most of it.

[@solarwinds-]

Most of the time what people think is not worth anything.

[@lizrock1442]

Thank you for seeing us. I'm 63 yo, I feel amazing, best time of my life, so much to give...but no one is interested. It's well done, because, as we age, we don't care anymore! Great work, thank you Mina.

[@flufwix]

Agree. I just don’t care what others think of my fashion and life choices. It’s my life.

[@indiabilly]

Fabulous essay! As a 54 year old I have experienced nearly all of this but am at the f**kit stage of life so me and my long curly hair and platform boots will just keep trucking xx

[@TarynsTime]

Waist length hair at 53 here 🙋‍♀️ and I I agree. I keep my style.

[@moniquetroth]

The only reason my 51yo self has shorter hair is because the weight of my waist-length hair started giving me migraines when I hit my late 30s/early 40s. OK, to be fair, it started earlier, but I ignored it until then. (I've actually got two strands of hair growing from every follicle on my scalp. Um. Talk about blessings and curses.) Somewhere around 38-ish, I found my f$#k-it genes (inherited from all the kick-a$$ women in my family) and said "if it hurts, it gets shorter" (but only to a point, I do NOT have the shoulders to rock anything at chin-length or shorter). But if my scalp would allow? Oh, I would sooooooo be rocking my waist+ length hair still.

[@sw3496]

You’re style sounds so cool! I have the opposite style lol. I’m 18 and I dress in “grandma” fashion which is in vintage fashion, long skirts, sweaters (from my nana and they’re so cozy) and jeans often ending up looking like a mom or grandma and I used to be a little embarrassed by those comments but it made me realize how comfortable I felt in my own body. I kinda laugh at the comments because if I look like a grandma who cares! I’m happy and comfortable and I could care less! I’m slowly getting into the fuck it stage of life with my own style.

[@michellej5616]

52. Extensions. Colorful makeup. Graphic t-shirts. I'm finally at an age where I feel like I can afford to buy the clothes I want to wear. So I buy what I want. On the other hand, I don't WANT to follow a lot of the "younger" trends not because I'm afraid someone will mock me for trying to hard, but someone would mock me because some trends are just ugly. I will figure out how to make a graphic eyeliner that works with crows feet. But the return of the early 2000s clothes... I didn't wear those clothes THEN because it looked stupid.

[@emmaphilo4049]

Lmaooo way to go, who cares

[@wangofree]

I'm almost 60, and there is such FREEDOM in growing older! I feel no obligation to please anyone but myself in how I dress. I don't WANT to look twenty, or even forty. I am more ME than I've ever been and I love it!

[@faeriesmak]

Nice!

[@thomaswright7841]

Legend

[@liquidmantle]

I’m 32 and honestly I’ve kind of been looking forward to it for years now. I love old styles but I feel intimidated to wear stuff like long fur coats, fashionable 40’s hats, or slinky 1930s dresses, because I would look ridiculous in them. I see older ladies wear them and they look absolutely fabulous. I also think white/grey hair is so beautiful and elegant too.

[@PerrySkyePhoenix]

I agree! ❤️ edit: I agree with the OP.

[@GoddessOfLove-pr7ek]

​@@liquidmantleI'm in my early 40's and truly love vintage classic women's fashion attire from 1920's-60's. Also women's ancient attire from different cultures mostly Asian, African, or early to mid 1900's Victorian gowns, etc. Nothing wrong with vintage fashion. Who cares what people say or think about it. What matters is as long your comfortable and enjoy it.

[@AnnieinKC]

I am age 70. Some of us looked forward to being older. Like Martha Stewart, men are attracted to our confidence and laughter. I don't think clothing has an age. People give too much power to clothing. Just wear what looks great on you. Envy will always follow.

[@ididitoutofspite986]

I told my friend sometime ago that when I grow old I want to wear leather jackets and dye my hair weird colors I do this anyway and see no point turning into my babushka My mom, however, is only 54 and already feels herself undeserving of wearing something new and cool I try to help her get out more so she has more reasons to wear some of her fav outfits She looks super cool if I do say so myself

[@happymess3219]

😐 men like martha stewart's MONEY!!! what? don't tell me you didn't know.

[@zyxw2000]

Martha Stewart had her face done.

[@timriehl1500]

It drives me crazy when I see a magazine cover with "fashions for older women" taglines and then I buy the magazine, get home, and see the models wearing the clothing all look like they are 19!

[@bethknight4436]

Soon to be 70 here. I really appreciated this. My focus is and always has been personal authenticity.

[@cyancyborg1477]

Okay hearing Meryl Streep worry that every movie after 40 might have been her last as if she isn't the best actress in Hollywood is just heartbreaking.

[@emilycox6560]

But also reassuring that her career has just got better and better as she has gotten older

[@JRNarian]

@@emilycox6560 you get better and better as you age as an actor :)

[@lizvtaz6]

It comes down to the fact that most female "characters" have no character and they are just supposed to be "young women". How many older female characters have you seen in books etc.? In Russia we have this Baba Yaga character in our folklore and she is supposed to be an old independent which, rather likable and funny although dangerous. Sometimes she eats people but sometimes she helps them. She is a very popular character in Russian fairy tales. All young male characters in fairy tales like (or at least respect) her (not as a woman I assume but as a person). As a Russian I grew up with this character. However I have noticed that you don't really see these kind of characters in Western mythology. In a Western fairy tale likable female character is always a young princess. Sometimes there is also her step-mother who you are supposed to dislike or a fairy who's only purpose and character trait is to help a young female protagonist. Yes Baba Yaga is a babushka rather than a sexy old woman but she is fun and she does not need men and that is not looked down upon. If you are interested in the way this character is presented check a video called "Песня из мультфильма "Летучий корабль". Частушки бабок-ёжек." In this video there are multiple female Baba Yaga characters, they sing dirty songs about men. This is from an extremely popular cartoon from late 1970s. In Russia this is considered cool and funny in a good way. You can see how they are dressed. Colorwise they are not invisible in the slightest. P.S. Sorry for such a long reply

[@alyssawoodman]

She also was part of a standing ovation given to a pedo and called Harvey Weinstein "God." Vulgar and immoral woman.

[@necroflounder]

@@lizvtaz6The Lego study on girls would indicate something else is going on. TV is filled with middle aged women as they are the majority viewing demographic, and it is hardly Shakespeare for a reason. "I need to see me" is a low bar for character.

[@mayaleeleng]

I'm so sick of ppl making fun of or judging women for being older and having wrinkles. Cause then when they get botox or any surgery to look younger NOW ppl wanna say, "You're not natural!" "You're plastic now" "You should've never gotten surgery!" Like, choose a side. 😒

[@namantherockstar]

Mina inspires me.. My parents said if i get 70K followers They'd buy me a professional camera for recording..begging u guys , literally Begging...

[@Smidgeon-pigeon]

There's just no way to win

[@amethystdream8251]

When people have a problem either way, it's just jealousy and a desperate attempt to grasp at a broken concept of power by finding faults where there are none. Self acceptance provokes jealousy in insecure individuals. The most judgemental people are the most insecure.

[@catrinacrystallina]

There is a fine line. The problem is when people achieve looking great but body dysmorphia causes them to keep going under the knife. I wish more surgeons were ethical/could identify when someone needs therapy and not Botox or filler.

[@Anonym-pz3mm]

At this point, i'm sick of people in general

[@GeorgeGlass298]

As an older woman I can assure you we don't give a f*CK what anyone thinks about what we wear. We want to be comfortable and left alone lol.

[@amandajaneh]

YEP. It feels so good!

[@virginiaoflaherty2983]

I had to laugh "to be left alone" couldn't be more accurate. As you live beyond 30 you find your value as a women is in what you can do for everyone. If you like being a servant to everyone - well you do you. It's a freeing moment get to that premium age when men stop leering, commenting, trying it on with you. Frankly my dear I don't give a damn. Whatever benefit you bring to me is usually overshadowed by taking on the role of being your caretaker. No thanks. Done with being a multi purpose appliance.

[@minny608]

Same. Guess that makes us unmarketable since older women are generally more comfortable with their body and style and less likely to blindly follow fashion trends.

[@daxxydog5777]

And we get to wear comfortable shoes!

[@jackieknits61]

I want to please me first in what I wear. Doesn't mean I mind being complemented on my outfit. If I see someone who feels it necessary to tell us older women what we can't wear, I just pass on by. I am perfectly capable of deciding what to wear. Now I do like looking at fashion and clothing, but I don't need someone policing me for dressing or acting my age. Time to start creating our own personal style regardless of age. And that is true of people of any age.

[@anitapeludat256]

I feel grateful that I've reached 63. I like being this age and I'm also aware I'm closer to the end than the beginning. I have health issues, have some disablities now and stopped coloring my hair in 2015, why pretend, why spend the money? I have lots of silver and white hair, have to wear ugly molded shoes and I'm tall and had to wear a lot of men's clothing to find trousers long enough ever since a kid. I find myself much happier at this age, enjoy having wisdom earned through living life this long. I love being a lifetime learner and have great enthusiasm in life experiences. I don't give a rats ass what people think of me and my appearance. I focus a lot on whats healthy for me mentally and emotionally. Laughter is indeed the best medicine even when I'm bedridden. Having an irreverent snd sometimes dark sense of humor, keeps me sane over the many, many absurdities of life. Only I am respondible for taking care of me. I know I cannot truly count on anyone to always take care of me because we are all imperfect snd human. I still adore meeting new people and cultures. I will leave this world worn, very used, aged body one day and NOT a perfect unlived in one. Remind yourself.......... " I didnt come this far, to only come this far ."

[@brigitteleafbarnes1441]

Beautiful

[@clevelandplonsey7480]

Inspiring, thanks

[@Dan_Chiron]

I turned 40 this year and suddenly realized my grandma was just beyond 50 when I was a child and it blew my mind. She really looked at least 10 years older because "that's how grannies should look like" (ugly pants, a layered bunch of old cardigans and an apron on top, always). In my culture, women are bound to cater for the male gaze, so sexyness is the top you can look to be considered beautiful or even elegant, unless, of course, you are "blessed" with the gift of not being in need of attracting (men's) attention, either because you alredy "belong to a man" or because you're no longer part of the reproductive pool. Anyhow, since I turned 30 I couldn't care less anymore and I enjoy a more experimental side of fashion that doesn't necessarily have to do with looking sexually attractive. Recently, talking to a random woman in her 20's I realized I'm seen as a quirky old lady... well, I like that label lol.

[@haleyallen8896]

LOVED THIS. i’m 27 and had my daughter in 2022. i feel like i’ve been battling with clothes ever since, for a number of reasons: postpartum, changing body, and now being a mother. i find cute outfits online that i want to recreate, but then i catch myself asking “wait, is this appropriate for a mom?” but this video has helped remind me that i still have so much life ahead of me, and i can wear whatever makes me happy! ♥️

[@rudetuesday]

Please have fun with your clothes. My brother and I loved when Mom was happy, and she was never happier than when she wore her favorite lipstick and signature red outfits. We stan joyful moms in this household.

[@LotusesGalaxyOcean]

Part of the reason so many women struggle with fashion when maturing is a cultural issue. It has to do with respect and the role of older women. Historically older women might have been the most entitled to more rich and elaborate clothing due to their rank being higher than younger women. Coming of age and moving up the purely female rankings doesn’t seem to happen anymore. That is the actual conundrum. Female hierarchy has been flipped upside down. Being resplendent is now not a vibe your often see older women leaning into because they don’t have that social role that matches that. The matriarch of the family and community is a dead role due to culture dissolving into primordial goo to all our detriment.

[@sisterstrange78]

27 isn’t even old wtf

[@eliscanfield3913]

if you like it, it's appropriate for your daughter's mom. And I say this as someone who does all her shopping in the men's section, lol.

[@GioGio-fq1vl]

I don't have kids, but as a daughter: Please wear whatever you want. Please wear all the cute outfits. My mom is in her late sixties and fashion is no longer a priority for her, but growing up I loved watching her do her makeup, curate her outfits, match her nail polish to her clothes, etc. It was such a joy. She has always been very fashion oriented and it was a source of happiness for her, which in turn made me happy.

[@rhino5100]

Since I've hit menopause, I understand the coastal grandmother look of cotton sweaters, linen drawstring pants, loose fitting breathable shirts, canvas tennis shoes. If hot flashes are making you feel like your whole body is on fire, you don't want close-fitting, non-breathable fabrics near your skin. The first time I realized I was having a hot flash, I was at work in a polyester, long sleeved shirt dress with a blazer over it. I struggled to breathe and could feel sweat pouring a river down my neck, back, and under my arms and sides. I went home and stripped all of those synthetic-fiber fast fashion items out of my closet and took them to Goodwill. It's not just vanity. There are medical reasons why older women won't want to be wearing that stuff.

[@jennid1573]

I think this applies to hair too. Everyone talks about older women cutting their hair off, and since I hit menopause the urge to hack it all off just to be cooler is real.

[@virgoyogini5377]

In menopause at 55, I just wear whatever makes me comfortable and happy. Menopause is a whole other conversation.

[@virgoyogini5377]

Synthetic fibers in menopause are a nightmare.

[@milky_quartz]

this is why the thrifting selections suck now. thanks capitalism and fast fashion

[@MissJensk1]

I hate polyester! Can't understand why the shops are full of it at the height of summer.

[@whatever32]

Great video!! Societal disdain for older women isn’t just because they’ve “passed their window of value” by aging out of reproductive viability, it’s also a psyop by the patriarchy to make younger women discount and ignore wisdom and advice older women may have for them. By isolating women to their generation for fear of aging, we’re cut off from seeing the potential we have for passion, creativity, hard work and so much more as we age. Women don’t DIE and shuffle around being useless for anything but mothering after 40, but the patriarchy would like us to think so, because how else will it keep us passively consuming anti-aging treatments instead of forming solidarity with other women? In older times, the hag/crone/witch figure out to steal the maiden’s youth was most likely rooted in the real-world dynamic of young women going to older midwives and herbal women for medical treatment, away from the eyes of men. They can’t stand the idea of older women teaching younger women about their own bodily autonomy, because that makes us harder to control (specifically in regards to reproduction.) Valuing older women in society is essential feminist praxis

[@greceliaherrera9553]

👏👏

[@keddy5627]

Love love love your post!!!!! ❤

[@keddy5627]

And mature grown-ass women know bad sex!!!!

[@ewcik.4ever]

🔥🔥🔥

[@AnnalisalDuGard]

A 'psyop' by the patriarchy 😅😅 I couldn't read furth than that

[@JetteSwan]

As a 59 year old who lost her zest for fashion during the pandemic and has been wondering how to get it back loved every bit of this. I want to note that younger millennials and gen Z's demand for size inclusive fashion is a huge boon to older women and we owe them a lot. I can find affordable up to date basics that fit my now larger tummy and that would have been very difficult 15-20 years ago. I l'm not going to wear crop tops or ultra low waisted jeans but thanks to extended size availability I can find things that fit and are up to date at least. But the biggest thing they have given us is the idea that it is okay to be bigger.

[@winwinmyfriend4727]

I agree with that totally. I was alot smaller in my 20s and 30s but once I had my now 18 yr old I don't wear anything that isn't comfortable for me most of the time. Sometimes I like to have fun and wear an outfit that's a poodle skirt or something reminiscent of the 60s or even 70s. I've done that for awhile now and I always get some looks from the elderly they just love it lol. ❤ it.

[@luluandmeow]

That's great if you feel truly happy about being bigger (I have been bigger and frankly I don't believe people are happy being overweight). There are so many overweight people these days and "misery loves company". Personally I don't buy it. You don't have to resign yourself to having a big tummy, it's not just a vanity thing, visceral fat is very unhealthy. It's not easy to reduce the tummy, I started by skipping the olive oil and learning to cook without it, eating more veggies/healthy carbs and no processed food. Excess weight is ageing and is simply not healthy or a good look. We don't have to grow a hump/bad posture either. Let's not resign ourselves to wearing oversize "comfy" clothes that are more freely available, they may look OK but are not a great look if we're honest. I don't mean to upset or put you or other people down but this "body positivity" movement can be just as toxic as fad diets, etc. Overweight is never healthy as any doctor will tell you and it is possible to get fitter and slimmer at any age if you put in the effort and get good, healthy advice - not easy as there is so much misinformation but pcrm and Chef AJ's KZbin channels helped me a lot. Hope I haven't caused offence, that was not my intention at all and I wish you well.

[@randomtinypotatocried]

⁠@@luluandmeowDo you do this shit to people who are in your opinion are too skinny? The human body ages and it gets harder to lose weight. It's just life

[@amnocturne]

@@luluandmeow I love how you’re fat shaming and trying to absolve yourself of it in the same post. This woman never said she was “happy being bigger”, she said that she was grateful that stylish, well-fitting clothing is available to her current body shape. There are various reasons that people have bigger bodies that may not have to do with eating improperly or not exercising. There are lifesaving medications which have weight gain as a side effect. There are folks with invisible disabilities which prohibit exercise. Could be 1,000 other things. AND it’s literally none of your business what’s going on with other people’s bodies. Save your “advice” for someone who asks you for it.

[@Janna_Ash]

I’m 36 and lost mine years ago (like when I was still a teen) due to the lack of size inclusivity in the past. I had actually had an interest in fashion when I was younger, but that fatphobia of the early 2000s was particularly harsh back then, it was almost impossible to find anything youthful in my size. I wish it would’ve inspired me to do something about the issue instead of push me away from fashion all together. Thankfully there’s a lot more choices now, but honestly I still battle with the fatphobia I grew up with.

[@shelleyord5154]

Love your attitude:)As a late 60s woman I have always loved fashion and am feeling confused about “how to dress” for my age. Your positive,upbeat attitude reinforces the fact that I am still “me” even though I am older and I shouldn’t have to turn into someone else. My personal style has always been a statement, and should continue to be regardless of my age! Keep inspiring:)

[@solarwinds-]

Yeah, I've never understood "dress your age". If it fits you, you will look great!

[@jennywhiskey9327]

As a person who worked with the Elderly as a teenager, I gotta tell ya, “old” is relative. It varies so wildly person to person. I’m in my early 40s now and because I have blue hair and tattoos people assume I’m a lot younger than I am as a result. As times change, styles evolve , people live longer, lines get blurred, we can expect to see a lot more variety in fashion choices of women as we age. And personally …. Im super excited about that.

[@konrad1916]

For I handed on to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the scriptures; that he was buried; that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the scriptures 1 Corinthians 15:3

[@nathy0308]

Same here!! So excited

[@aprildriesslein5034]

Ha, same! I am 43, have purple hair and dress in a lot of vintage or just plain weird styles, which confuses people's notions of how old you are.

[@maryeckel9682]

I read that STDs are rampant in senior communities and nursing homes...old ain't dead. But let's be safe, seniors! It's not the 60s any more.

[@lilacsunset3848]

My grandma in her 80s- frail and largely confined to bed. My husband’s grandmother in her 90s- still driving to the store and calling her kids on her iPad.

[@Blakiedoo]

i already knew being an older woman was tough on you with society’s standards but this really gives me a whole new idea of how tough it must be to feel sexy into your late ages, with everyone around you telling you you CANT be. im so glad my grandma whos 70 dresses like she would have 50 years ago (granted, she was a hippie and still is to an extent) and embraces her beauty into her later years

[@Blakiedoo]

@@giasharie274 ??😭

[@giasharie274]

@@Blakiedoo The guy I was replying to deleted their comment, never mind

[@Wee162]

The least tough part of aging is not feeling “sexy”. It’s so freeing to not be ruled by the male gaze. Feeling put together and comfortable and attractive is key. Appreciating styles that speak to you and make you feel yourself is the best gift of age. Feeling sexy is a young person’s game. Feeling attractive in terms of projecting confidence and comfort with oneself, which hopefully comes with age, is the best feeling.

[@roxyamused]

Well I needed to read your comment, @@Wee162. Feels apropos to my recent fears. I suppose I've been following this advice, but it reenforces my confidence in it.

[@calmaconejo]

So sad, I got mocked the other day by another 30+ lady because I wore a crop top.... I'm sorry I'm not dead may I wear whatever the fuck I want?

[@wlk3607]

i love crop tops and your attitude! i hope you have an awesome week!

[@calmaconejo]

@@wlk3607 you too!

[@kkuudandere]

That's really just her projecting her own rules that she's placed on herself towards you. She thinks YOU can't wear that because she feels SHE can't wear that.

[@beepboop5247]

Wtf 30 isn't even old lol wear what you want !

[@TheBlushersJournal]

I am 32 and still rock a lot of crop tops 🤟 the only person stopping me is myself.

[@lccsd2392]

The Mutton dressed as lamb adage was so powerful that my mother was using it about herself and post middle age women in general in the 1970's. As for ageing you have no idea until it happens. A few health scares, including teeth and a couple of bad reactions to much needed medication and you are a person you don't recognize including having a body shape that you have no idea how to style. Time is different, too, the older you get and priorities are very, very different. If you can keep within the size you have been for most of your life that goes a very long way to feeling comfortable in your own skin.

[@xpsxps1339]

Well, all is relative, age included... I was maybe 25 then, eye-shopping for some clothing when I met an elderly woman in a respective clothing department. I couldn't estimate her age, but she had to be in her late 70s. I couldn't stop looking at her... She was around 5'6" tall, slim, with thick, short, dark hair and very dark, big eyes with long and dark natural(!) eyelashes, with no(!) mascara. Although, I remember she wore lipstick. She had beautiful, very harmonious facial features with high cheekbones, a straight nose, and, for her age - pretty full lips and firm skin, although she had wrinkles. Still, they didn't make her less beautiful. (She could be a bit of a reminder of Audrey Hepburn type.) Oh wow...! Lucky her, so many great genes, lol! Her walk was very light and elegant; she moved like a cat. Simple, smart outfit - turtleneck, slacks, jacket-type coat, scarf around her neck. (Today, we would say minimalistic.) I have never seen a more beautiful woman than her, and I don't care she was old. She was gorgeous, stylish, and elegant like nobody else.

[@jacquelinealbin7712]

One of my favorite parts of the goth subculture are all the folks who have been in the scene since the 80s and are still rocking blue hair, black lipstick, studded belts, etc! Seeing older people who are not just stylish, but *cool* and *artistic* is really refreshing, and makes me feel more comfortable with my own greying hair and wrinkles. That life doesn't end at 30, 35, 40, or even 60something!

[@anastasiakallinic]

Goth fashion is very age inclusive and definitely one of the most timeless styles.

[@sw3496]

I’ve been seeing that and it makes me love the goth subculture even more! I love the people who dress the part, no matter their age because they’re just wearing what they like and it’s awesome. My mom who is goth but has never dressed the part and thinks she’s too old to dress that way and thinks she’ll be trying to mimic dressing like a young person. I try to tell her otherwise and it’s taking a lot of time but she seems to be coming around to the idea of dressing goth and it makes me so happy honestly.

[@alyssawoodman]

I love black lipstick 🖤 💄

[@AstheCrowTries]

Gray Goths are rad af, love seeing 'em.

[@ftrsaliyf-zd4wk]

plenty who were goth evolved from that

[@sunnytheo]

I completely relate to the “have I aged out of this or am I feeling pressured by societal standards?” I’ll be 30 next year and just got myself a cute cow print mini skirt and at first I felt so cute in my outfit and then the fear set in. Do I look stupid? Do I look old and dumb? Does any of that matter?? I still wore the outfit out after realizing that it doesn’t matter if it’s not hurting me and not hurting anyone else. I felt cute for my trip to the bookstore and that’s what matters!

[@stephaniec8816]

I would have loved to see it girl and I would have totally come up and complimented you

[@wlk3607]

that sounds so cute and i’m glad you wore it and had a good time!

[@RefractedStarlight]

Sounds cute! As a fellow almost-30, I’ve been feeling that way since my late teens/ early 20s lmao (like, am I “allowed” to wear this out of high school? Aren’t I an “adult” now?) at this point I don’t care as much, maybe because I’ve been overthinking for so long.

[@noem.7430]

if you looked stupid would it matter? who are you trying to impress? no one, just you so be you

[@Arginne]

Bro you act like 30 means its time for a nursing home I hate it here

[@k8brault]

I remember turning 40 and being relieved to feel like I could obsess about my looks less, it felt freeing. Then I turned 50 and distinctly remember worrying about becoming invisible. My beautiful mother is 90 and I have seen people act as though she didn't even exist. It is disheartening how obsessed with youth our culture has become.

[@joz-]

I remember seeing a Tumblr post about an article that said something like "celebrity doesn't look 50" and responded saying that the celebrity *does* look 50. It's just that she's 50 and attractive and we're taught that this is something exceptional. I don't remember the original poster, but if you're out there, thanks. I think about it a lot.

[@jodywinter8171]

Great video. I've always dressed well and as I moved through my forties, I believe I got the balance right between age-appropriate and modern dressing. I turned 50 in 2021, in the midst of the pandemic and working from home. In the 2 years since, menopause has not only changed my body shape, it's actually made the clothes I used to wear feel unbearably uncomfortable. That combined with working from home in looser clothing... it's a scene. But, thanks to a huge closet clean-out, some professional makeup lessons, and setting aside time to discover new brands and silhouettes, I think I'm finally on the right track to regaining my fashion mojo. I live in New Zealand, so our shopping options are not as comprehensive as in the U.S. but I have found some great NZ brands that do offer what I'm looking for: contemporary, chic clothes that are comfy.

[@milesfurther4395]

Not that long ago they’d have 15 year olds walking down runways for brands for “mature” women like Chanel. I remember Gemma Ward being super successful in her early teens walking for these kinds of designer brands that make clothes mainly for women 35+. Then she hit 21, gained a few pounds the way we all do when we stop being pubescent and suddenly the media was bullying her for gaining weight. Weird times

[@sapphic.flower]

I used to volunteer at a retirement home my mom worked that held fashion shows for the residents to show off their fits. Fashion never grows old ❤️

[@louise_ophelia]

That’s so sweet of them to do ❤

[@jewelsbarbie]

I freakin love this!! 🥰

[@ravenmeyer3740]

Fashion is self expression and art on the hoof.

[@worldwidefunnyguy]

fashion does grow old

[@sapphic.flower]

@@worldwidefunnyguy it doesn't? Lol. Like even if trends change, fashion itself doesn't age and even clothes associated with other decades don't stop being enjoyed by people.

[@joiedevivre2005]

As a Gen X woman, I can testify that the door leading to fashion without ageism that was slightly opened by Boomers is being kicked down completely by my fellow Gen Xers donned in our Doc Martens. Most of us give zero f*cks about what people say we should wear & not wear. We haven't really listened to that for most of our lives & we are probably not going to start now. Besides, fashion should be fun... & how you define fun is your own business.

[@looking4r]

Yes!!! This!🎉 I’m gonna do me bcuz why stop now?!

[@virgoyogini5377]

Yes my Gen X sister, I feel like we are embracing staying true to our style.

[@CrazyCoon100]

Yup 👍 I want some ripped boyfriend jeans, a babydoll dress, docs and a straw daisy bucket hat for spring and wear it with a peace sign necklace!

[@ftrsaliyf-zd4wk]

not true. plenty gen xers also have the same questions, and the majority *were n o t* alternative.

[@ftrsaliyf-zd4wk]

loads of generation xers give loads of fucks

[@lifespanwellnessbeauty-60i64]

I loved this video essay! I'm 62, definitely older, but I love the wisdom and confidence that's come with my maturity. I do workout, eat healthfully and take great care of my skin. I used to do these things just to look good, but at 62, it becomes imperative to stay fit and strong in order to stay mobile and do the activities of daily living. It's imperative to eat well to avoid lifestyle diseases like diabetes and heart disease. And yes, it's true, I have no interest in appearing older than I am at any given time or getting skin cancer, so I take great care of my skin and use sunscreen. I don't see a problem with dressing according to what is most flattering to one's figure either. Some women prefer not to display their belly rolls in crop tops and that is their perogative. I wear what looks good on me and follow trends to a certain extent. I try to mix things up color wise, makeup wise, hair color wise and fashion wise, because I thinks its just plain boring to look the same way all of the time. That is what connotes old to me. Never trying anything new and different, but just looking the same way all of the time. Anyway, this was an extremely well put together video and I love the blouse you're wearing.😊

[@bydeborahsavage]

I adore everything about you! So great to see your comment here. ❤ I agree this is an amazing video essay.

[@lifespanwellnessbeauty-60i64]

@@bydeborahsavage Hey Debbie! The feeling is mutual! Like minds, think alike.😊

[@LexiLadonna]

I’m 39 and younger people definitely don’t understand how hard it can be to dress yourself when you start to get older. They say “just wear what you want” but don’t understand that clothes don’t fit right/the same and the only clothes that do fit well are definitely boring bland clothes made to make someone disappear. I don’t want to disappear, I want fashionable fun clothes that just happen to fit the proportions of older bodies

[@theoriginalsuzycat]

I'm 59 and fat so I go for flowing or sculptural pieces, sharp hair, good lipstick and some good accessories. One of the benefits of being TRULY off the market is that you can dress like a lunatic and enjoy it if you want to.

[@wife97]

LOLROTF, to someone who's in her 70s, you're still a baby!

[@annah995]

I actually don't know what a body type with 39 is compared to mid-20s? I still have cloths I bought when I was 20 and they still fit (I am 40)? Why should the body type completely change with age? My mother is 81 and wears cloths she bought in her 50s?

[@bluebyyoufu]

I was lucky I fit the same clothing in my forties that I did in my thirties. Then I hit menopause and everything changed so here is my two cents based on my clothing experiences due to that gift that keeps on giving. 1) A properly fitting bra is essential 2) Elastic is your friend 3) Stretchy fabric is your friend 4) Junior plus sizes are your friend 5) Overlarge men's cotton dress shirts hide a multitude of sins, are surprisingly cool (the hot flashes are real) and, paired with flowing patterned culottes or pants, work for a multitude of occasions 6) Your local seamstress is your BEST friend. Good luck!

[@annajohnson5779]

I hear ya, I am also 39, almost 40 and started going on about it in my comment only to realize it might be better if I make my own main comment about it.

[@TravelinJenB]

My Mema passed away two weeks ago. She was 97. In her Instagram post one thing my cousin said was "and she would want you to know that she would be 98 in June!" She was so proud of how many years she had. I hope to inherit her longevity, as my other grandparents all passed away much younger. Even during this last year I thought she was beautiful. It's time for society to embrace women of all ages!

[@stephaniec8816]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Age is so crazy. When my father passed at 68, everyone bemoaned how young he was. Yet employers would have said he was old and refused to hire him. Crazy world we are in.

[@TravelinJenB]

​@@stephaniec8816thank you. I'm sorry for your loss as well. Yes, the way society treats age is nonsensical in many ways.

[@alfiegomez1864]

This subject is so close to my heart, getting older is a privilege and it's so heartbreaking how they raise women to be afraid and ashamed of human nature

[@stephaniec8816]

The fear of age is such a pandemic

[@maryeckel9682]

I just saw a reunion photo of the Modern Family cast. The older men all look like regular grandpas. The older women look sexy af. The double standard endures.

[@rosawolke2788]

Completely agree with you. I also think that I am taken more seriously the older I get. The video was surprising to me because I never thought that fashion issues were a thing for older people. Maybe the problem is that younger women think they are supposed to reveal a lot of skin which is not true. Just wear what makes you feel good. I always preferred modest, minimal and elegant clothing regardless of trends and I don't think that will change with aging. Maybe I need to lower contrast a bit because as we age this is just what happens naturally to our features.

[@sw3496]

Yes! I can’t wait to age! It’s such a beautiful thing and it shows that you’ve lived life. I used to fear aging at like 13-14 and I’m almost 19 and I no longer fear aging and I’m happier that I don’t because what’s the point? Aging is a fact and joy of life! It’s just beautiful imo

[@maddylovesbooks]

my mum just turned 51 and she’s talking about this more and more, also in the medical industry because you are beyond the years of fertility you are seen as disposable and not taken as seriously. And the fact she is only 51… like shes not even old yet. I’m so glad to see us younger girlies taking a note of this now so we can try stop this happening/ or at least be more aware of it when we are older

[@amethyst_cat9532]

If she lives to be 100 she's barely more than halfway done

[@andreathompson-bg4hl]

Doctors started using the phrase because of your age when I was 35.

[@solarwinds-]

Hmmm, I found just the opposite. I have found that I get better care now and my health insurance is cheaper bc I'm not of childbearing age. Thank God for that! I'm not expected to be a baby factory by the men I date.

[@clevelandplonsey7480]

Awareness of the inequality between younger and older women is a very important part of feminism. It was one of the original foundations of “Womens’ Lib” in the 70s, but now younger women, who received their freedoms from those who went before, have contempt for the aging face and body. We are our own worst enemy.

[@lindataylor5779]

As usual, you present a well researched history of fashion. And you bring great humanity and caring social values to your commentary! One realistic problem for older women nowadays is age discrimination in the workplace. Women in many fields and even in lower paying professions still have to look 'put together' and even that may not protect their jobs. So it's not just an issue of vanity or not wanting to look old. Being older can have many advantages of gaining more genuine confidence and coming into one's own values and understanding of what matters in life. One silly aspect of social media is the pressure/fear of very young people about getting older. I started graduate film school at age 34 and it was a great advantage compared to most of the other students who were 22 - 25. Anyway, thanks for another wonderful commentary! You rock!!!

[@jane-cn6nd]

As a 56 year old woman, I can honestly say that I am well dressed, use appropriate makeup and feel appropriately ignored for my age. I don't know what else to say except that reality can be painful. Aging can be a hard thing to accept especially when your beauty was revered in your youth.

[@carlajohnson5601]

So what if some people ignore you. There are plenty of people out there who will pay attention to you. Own your own style, and wear the hairstyle, make-up, and clothes that make you feel your best. I took my 80 year-old mother to a Rolling Stones concert a few years ago, and she was the Belle of the Ball, and she got so more attention than my sister and me. Basically, because my mother was in her element having a great time, and her energy was contagious. The point of the video is that women at our age, I'm 54, are not easily duped by the fashion industry.

[@susannairisastarte5192]

54. Stopped wearing make-up about 20 years ago. I dress how I please and still love bright colors. Silly how our society thinks that women cease to exist after age 35. Nope, we've been here all along. 😂

[@asdfghjkl-oo7lv]

You probably don't notice the states because the younger generations don't like to stare. I always love checking out the makeup and fashion of the older ladies! Sometimes I want to tell y'all how beautiful y'all look but I will feel creepy.

[@beckmordini4785]

I remember when I first realized that I had become invisible in my 50s. I was shopping at home Depot looking around not finding what I wanted in the aisle. There was a man working in that aisle not paying any attention to me. A young woman in her twenties comes into the aisle she is looking for like 5 seconds and he immediately goes to ask her if she needs any help. I watch this interaction with some amusement as she doesn't give him the time of day. I thought- I used to be that cute girl that always got the attention, and now I'm not. It was shocking but I also realized that I don't really care. I'm not at a point in my life where I'm looking for attention, particularly from men.

[@solarwinds-]

The reason older people, especially women, are ignored by the young is bc they are arrogant and have a lot to learn.

[@amelieh9499]

i think it's so important to show older women wearing fun fashionable clothing! my style icon is my mom who's 53 and hasn't changed her style since she was 30. fun colors, short skirs, lots of patterns, tons of fun accessories, usually handmade by her. also older women are incredibly attractive and beautiful! it sucks that society values youth over everything else.

[@jewelsbarbie]

Your mom sounds absolutely fabulous! I love that you call her your style icon.

[@Arginne]

What a sweet comment made me smile

[@ftrsaliyf-zd4wk]

styles now are eighties nineties you have to show her her generations styles are you saying

[@darkydoom]

I'm 34yo and have always LOVED seeing older women expressing themselves through clothing, makeup, hair, etc. Helen Miren is killing it lately, love it, and Haus Labs using older people in their campaigns is gorgeous.

[@mettamorph4523]

But would you praise Helen without makeup and hairpieces? No, she'd look like an ER patient. She is worked on to look like a perfectly aging woman to support the myth that aging doesn't mean we lose beauty. We DO lose beauty. We need our clothes to add beauty back.

[@darkydoom]

@@mettamorph4523 OK let me also include seeing my grandmother at 87 and no makeup dressing nicely and just being herself. Seeing her smile and talking with my.grandmothers makes me happy. They're beautiful. And I hope to be just as beautiful as them one day. Better? Makeup isn't a necessity, but it's nice that we still get to enjoy makeup and fashion when we get older. Shit, even as a mother or being in our 30s, that use to be old and we'd have to change our hair, clothes, makeup, jewellery. I ain't changing on anyone else's accord

[@xpsxps1339]

Helen Mirren was always gorgeous and aging only helped her; she is even more gorgeous now!

[@surusweet]

I hate seeing comments saying “I’m 28 or I’m 30 so I get this!” I want to hear actual older women’s point of views of this. Hell I’m 28, but I’m not taking up their space!

[@ddfffdddf]

Literally… I am an 18 yr old woman and somebody like you(28)feels like my sister.. I genuinely don’t know what’s wrong with people who think that 30 or sm like that is elderly..😭 It’s so fucking young when you look at the average life span

[@roflcopterIII]

Yeah, no offense, but it feels like some late twenties/early 30s people are really wanting to rush to hagdom despite objectively not being the audience that's being talked about lol. Like if you're considered an "older woman" at age 29, what exactly are the fifty year olds? Cryptkeepers?

[@traylong]

I'm 57, but I had friends who thought they were old at 25. At that time I thought WTF? I never listened to the insecure chatter which thrives in our society, just wear what you feel confident in be it designer clothes or hoodie, jeans, and converse sneakers. I wear all kinds of styles, buy mainly second hand clothing (selection is endless), which I then pair with trendy accessories - like hats, bags, and shoes. I work in the arts world, so people are more appreciative of the aesthetic, and are less judgemental overall.

[@surusweet]

@@traylong Exactly! Thank you! I love that you change up your looks.

[@surusweet]

@@ddfffdddf Thank you! I’ve actually always wanted a little sister. 😭

[@BritInvLvr]

I clicked on this because I am an old lady. Yes, I know they no longer make clothes for me. But they used to, hence why I make vintage style clothes for myself. At 65, when I get dolled up in a dress I made from a 1920s pattern, hat, shoes, gloves included, I look damn amazing.

[@aspirationalforestwitch]

Love this! I have a collection of vintage patterns and am anxious to get back into sewing. I'm sure you look fabulous!

[@coelacanthvalley]

i just discovered this youtube channel, and i love how ideas and information are presented eloquently without sounding try-hard and condescending (which is prevalent in tiktok). Thank you for creating interesting content in long form.

[@catloverkitten10]

As a 70 year old who has personally (from childhood on) chosen comfort over fashion I still love fashion and appreciate that a style or garment that makes you feel beautiful is important. Adornment is a natural human activity and if it gives you an emotional boost do what you like.

[@amethystdream8251]

Ah that last sentence, you get it! ❤

[@TheSnuffy1994]

The media will tell you aging is a crime to sell you more stuff. When really aging is a privilege, not given to most.❤

[@katiedolan14]

I've been saying that to myself a lot recently. Too many relatives haven't made it past 70 years old and I want to cherish every day that I'm given.

[@VeeLondon1449]

Consider this, the annual Vogue adult Book/Business Talent competitions are for persons 24 years old and under. I called up Conde Nast thinking it was a misprint and was informed by a very lovely lady that Vogue magazine is directed towards persons aged 17 to 24 years olds. That’s their desired demographic. Your to old for Vogue Magazine if your 25 years or older (25 is the cut off for all of their contests) The lady at Conde Nast had told me that all Book Company’s where ageist as well preferring younger attractive authors over older people. We talked about food/cookbooks etc, (how these cooks are very young and attractive) It makes me think how much hidden unseen talent is out there, not getting selected or opportunities due to being an older person.

[@TarynsTime]

The ironic thing being that Vogue is full of ads, but unless born rich the target demographic can't afford the items. It's hard to afford lots of things in their ads at any age.

[@cassia3363]

I feel like at least some of it is capitslism at work - a youngsr writer might be more impressrd vy someone big like CN wanting to work with thrm, so they will be easier to control and tyerefore, to exploit. Also, a person in their 20 is more ljkely ts work for 30-40+ years at least snd produce more stuff for thrm to sell, whjle someonr in their 40s, 50s snd beyond is not as, pardon, usefjl to them. It really sucks. Sorry, i just saw thjs webinar about thr uses of data sciencr and it just made me really sad (hint: let's sell more shjt! Also, sell evrn more shit and oh, maybe some savings on gas n electricitg)

[@RefractedStarlight]

Oh, really? Funny, as a kid I always thought of Vogue as a magazine for “older” ladies (as in, 40+). Maybe something to do with the price of the items.

[@icaro_andstuff]

Thank goodness I unsubscribed 😅

[@blake9033]

Huh, you learn something new everyday!! If you're over 25, you're too old for Leonardo Di Caprio and now Vogue😂

[@gadgetgirl02]

Re: children and crop tops, back in the 70s little girls ran around in halter tops all the time (I was one of them,). They were perfect for hot days. It never even occurred to me I was "exposing skin" -- all the other girls were wearing them too!

[@Shirumoon]

Didn't men wear hot pants in the 70s, too? Lol I wish I could have the fashion part of that time nowadays.

[@gadgetgirl02]

@@Shirumoon They were just regular shorts. They only look like hot pants now because men's shorts are so long.

[@dreamscape405]

I'm 51, and as I've gotten older, trends, negative opinions of others, and their strange ideas of how older women SHOULD dress, don't interest me anymore. I truly stepped into a deeper facet of my authenticity, and am now free to express myself however I want, whenever I want. No one else is living your life but you...fashion is an expression of who YOU are. Not some trend, or altered self because of others opinions, but sticking to YOUR authenticity. One of my friends is 65, and she's still dressing in her rocker outfits with fishnets, short shorts, and necklines down to her belly button... she's got a great figure, and knows how to work it. This other friend of mine is 82, and she wears these super colorful clothes, chunky jewelry, and all her makeup, including red lipstick. THAT'S the freedom I want, and have right now. Whether you're young, or old, authentic style will always beat trends...it's more interesting. 🥂💃

[@LavenderBlue-g1j]

I'm 60 and loved my Gunne Saxe dresses in HS. Now my 20something daughters love the Cottage Core look. I bought a couple dresses to wear and have gotten so many compliments. I love it

[@aspirationalforestwitch]

Absolutely! I've never ascribed to "dressing my age" - I'm dressing for chaos. Throw out the rulebook, there will always be people to say you're doing it wrong. Fashion should be self-expression.

[@SR-no8sr]

I am 47 and my peers and I constantly have discussions over what make-up/clothingnis "ok". Feeling ashamed of aging, seeing ourselves become invisible - especially with men. Our opinions are annoying. Even hiding our pets, if they are cats because being older and having a cat or cats is social/dating suicide. We live in a very pedo-friendly society. Men love their peers until a certain birthday and then they tjink they deserve their daughters.

[@maryeckel9682]

Yeah, that "crazy cat lady" trope is ageist.

[@kellyinCT09]

47 here, too, we just can't win. I hope I make it to 50 I'm gonna wear high waisted red pants and yell "I'm FIFTY"! Everywhere I go😂

[@hannahbradshaw2186]

This! Men's obsession with young-looking women is very pedo-y

[@AD-eg9cw]

Those old men who think they can compete with young men are the ones who have midlife crises and buy sports cars lol. They thought they'd get treated like Leo DiCaprio, but expectation didn't meet reality.

[@timriehl1500]

Amen. I love both my cats, but feel ashamed of admitting I have cats. And I made the mistake of being very career oriented and missed out on dating and meeting someone. Now people only want to "date" online and I hate that. I am 63, but men my age want someone in their 40's (or younger). I used to have a thing for older men, but now, older men are in their seventies!

[@muscular-lr6er]

I think the influencers on TikTok are making a big deal out of nothing when they talk about how their youth is ending when they hit their late 20s. I turned 28 in October and I'm still the same fun-loving and energetic person I was at 21. I still love clothes and I'm not going to stop wearing trendy outfits because of some arbitrary number.

[@ftrsaliyf-zd4wk]

Uh Those trendy outfits are other generations and demographies cultures styles the people talked about in the video

[@milky_quartz]

its kinda different for guys but like the spirit

[@emilyonizuka4698]

my friend studies kimono and there has always been an age range for different types of kimono, furisode being what you wear when you're young and unmarried and switching to tomesode when you're married and older. but a lot of older women are starting to wear more furisode because why not? they're allowed to be fun and colourful too. and I love that.

[@churblefurbles]

The why not is why the fertility rate is so low, there are stages in life, you shouldn't pretend.

[@wildmarjoramdieselpunk6396]

@@churblefurblesSo you can only be fun and colorful if you can have babies? What about those who aren’t fertile even when you are young? Obviously, men came up with this system.

[@AlexielRaziel]

16:29 honestly, I'm not against brands NOT making crop tops (and bikinis) for kids. It's meant to show your midriff and breasts off, and it's super weird that parents buy clothing like that for little kids. I get weirded out any time I see kids , ESPECIALLY if they are little wear it. It's freaking weird

[@heavenj7]

Love this topic as I’m a 53 yr old librarian and I also LOVE your look here especially with the pointer !!!

[@lenapawlek7295]

It really annpys me how many movies you have with a much older man as the male lead but then a very ypung woman as the female lead - the example that comes to mind are a lot of spy movies honestly

[@moniquetroth]

YES! I see these casting notes where they're saying the 35yo actress is much too old to be the already-cast male lead's love interest. And then said male lead is over 60. Like WHAAAAAAAT??? It's starting to get better (at least, in the non-action genre), but only just. Now, she's only too old if she's 45, & he's over 60. /smh

[@tomjones2157]

@lenapawlek7295 I feel 🤢 with old man young woman casting. For me it's been done 1000 times and bored me to irritation the first time I saw one so don't watch. If the same spy story featured the same older man matched with someone his age - and not constantly making reference to age - I'd watch as that feels fresh to me. Or a young man with older woman would be interesting too.

[@KateKanenator]

My grandma was one of the most fashionable women I've met. She was a coastal grandma with a splash of leopard print and bolder patterns. She always wore bold red or pink lipstick and never shrank into the background. My style is pretty masc, but I still take inspiration from her!

[@Abbyyena]

Thank God for older women! Your wisdom, confidence, and ethereal beauty with your gray hair is refreshing! I learn so much from you. This world would be SO BORING without you.

[@wife97]

Such a sweet comment. Thank you.

[@clevelandplonsey7480]

Bless your heart! The compassion which you exhibit will be carried with you into your own older age, and you will be much more compassionate towards yourself as a result

[@smugandsmarmy]

I turned 50 in January (yay me!) after coming *thisclose* to dying at 47. I’m thrilled to be 50! My 30 year old daughter sent me this video today (bc she’s awesome) and you now have a new subscriber! ♥️

[@wildmarjoramdieselpunk6396]

Yeah, a death scare really changes you. I didn’t feel old at all until I had one, now coming to terms with it,

[@Mira4212rip]

Seems like a lot of society sees women who aren’t childless and young as worthless

[@solarwinds-]

That's because older women with children are not easy to manipulate.

[@vikkipink1288]

I remember when I was in my early 20s and my friend was so upset about almost being 30, I thought she was being absolutely ridiculous. She was without a doubt one of the most beautiful women I have ever met in real life and her beauty could rival that many of celebrities. Then I turned 30 and understood exactly what she was going through. I never thought I would suffer from insecurity like that ever again. I worked so hard to get my body issues as a teen but this time it was even more difficult just because of other things going on in my life. It really does in a way feel like my life is over, especially the part where I felt like anything was possible for the future. I’ve kind of lost all hope for many of dreams due becoming physically disabled and I’m now the sole caretaker of my mentally disabled brother and elderly mother. I have been mourning the loss of my youth and freedom while also hearing all the manosphere/red pill crap. Andrew Tate and that side of social media was really popular around that time and constantly hearing over and over that I’m worthless now being 30 especially after gaining a bit of weight, just made me feel horrible about myself. Even though I knew what they were saying was all just sexist bs, it didn’t stop my mind from going to those dark places. Weirdly enough turning 31 kind of helped. Once I got over that hump and I’ve learned to accept it and I’m working through those insecurities. Negative talk about older women does hurt people though. It’s not at all helpful. Women should mean more than just to be a sexual objects for men or baby making machines.

[@ftrsaliyf-zd4wk]

have you taken a look at the bucktooth slackjawed hick

[@AltairStarlight]

I went through something similar taking care of family. We will find our dreams again or make new ones, hang in there

[@kzf8978]

Caregiving can take a huge toll on a person. When you make it out the side you will have such a sense of accomplishment and realization of the blessing that it all was. It is life altering. Please remember to have balance for yourself. Self care, from your own medical appointments to undisturbed bubble baths. It's imperative to stay true to yourself through it all.

[@solarwinds-]

Caring for others especially members of your family is selfless. Selflessness is wonderful. You must be a wonderful person.

[@Thenewboidahlia]

Your videos are so amazing, as a 30 year old (literally only 30) I’m already getting targeted ads talking about how difficult it is for older women to lose weight and all sorts of “being old is bad” ads..it’s so discouraging.

[@sarakim1070]

I know right! It's ridiculous, I have people around me saying "well now we're old/getting older so..." Literally one of my friends complained about how she cannot stand at work for too long anymore compared to how she used to do 4 years ago, and she's barely 30. It's not the age, it's because she gained 20kg and spent the past months at home by her computer. Yet she (and other people) just decided that 30 is old and we're withering. What are we supposed to do, stop living for the next 50 years of our lives? ahah

[@maackii666]

Hey sounds like your friend might be having a tough time. Sudden weight gain as 20 kilos in over a couple of months is quite unusual. It's tempting to judge overweight people but I think this is an opportunity for you to reach out and check in with your friend.

[@sarakim1070]

@@maackii666 I'm not judging her, and she's not overweight. She used to be extremely underweight because of her old insane job and her love life. Now she is healthy but her joints still have to adapt to the fact that she doesn't weigh 40kg anymore and moving again after 3 months of sitting at her desk searching for a job. I live with her, I'm the one that cooks to make sure she gets healthy and doesn't get that much underweight again. Also, mine was just a statement about how it was her weight gain making it harder for her and not her age. I didn't feel like explaining the whole story since it was unrelated to the topic. So please do not assume things about people just from a few pieces of information you read in a comment.

[@ftrsaliyf-zd4wk]

and i grew up with your styles as a child the people who had the styles are atleast 65 now

[@Thenewboidahlia]

@@ftrsaliyf-zd4wk huh?

[@mfuentes4961]

I feel like women can’t win in societal standards no matter what we do or how hard we work to look like ‘goals’ so as we get older, we should just do and be whatever we want and stop telling others what they should be and act based on their age. In the words of Janelle Monaé: “Even it makes others uncomfortable, I will love who I am.”

[@LotusesGalaxyOcean]

I think that can often be the case. However, I think some of the problems of this issue are misdiagnosed due to not tracking the significance of the strong drift towards casual everything. If you think about it being about to enjoy your clothes often comes with creativity. And them being fancier/more complex/more creative often most easily comes with more formal dress where you layer on multiple pieces. I think that this better addresses the issue of mature women wanting to be seen and enjoy what they are wearing. This seems to be an issue for men as well because very casual style gives you fewer options. I honestly would recommend any older women to dress more formal and luxe as their direction because that really diverts the mental debate from being about how much skin you show. As an example a silk blouse with a vivid blue tweed pantsuit set is mature in the most chic way. However, much more formal.

[@ItsTooLatetoApologize]

@@LotusesGalaxyOceani completely agree. I have embraced this formality. It started with this long wool coat I had. I only felt comfortable wearing it for very formal occasions, so it went unused 99% of the time. One day I just thought “f*ck it!” I started wearing it to work. And then I started wearing suits. And then everywhere I went I enjoyed getting dressed for it. Sometimes people ask where I’m going and I say “live my life. Where are you going?” Lol!

[@LotusesGalaxyOcean]

@@ItsTooLatetoApologize Good for you! I also wish more people realized so much of physical comfort in wearing clothes is not about formality. You need the correct fabrics, cuts, designs, potentially tailoring and so on for pieces to work well, but formality shouldn’t mean discomfort.

[@maryjoness2898]

I am a 67 year old female. i am also an anime fan. a large percent of my shirts have anime characters on them, I wear them every day.

[@liv97497]

This was something I loved about Mrs. Harris goes to Paris - it's sort of a fairytale-ish movie, with lots of pretty dresses and a fashion makeover where our main character isn't a girl in her late teens or early twenties. I thought it was so delightful and it took such a different stance to what we're used to.

[@naimac1015]

I’m actually glad Hollywood has started making older actresses have a wider selection of roles. Just because you are old doesn’t mean frumpy and useless. From sexy Sophia Loren in Grumpy Old Men, to Helen Miren on RED, and Raquel Welch in Legally Blonde … my bisexual side was like “I don’t care how old they are, I’d tap that!” I love seeing older actresses beyond matronly roles, it gives me hope I can dress however I want as I continue to grow older.

[@Helcaloth]

My grandmother was one of the most stylish people I have known - she used to take me thrifting and would always find some treasures. She had so much fun with fashion, and I aspire to that for myself when I age.

[@marywiggins7411]

Why wait until you 'age', you are always an 'age'? Be unique now, go thrifting and upcycle something.

[@cynthialeech2507]

Last three words, "as I age."

[@elinat2414]

PSA: The goal of advertising media isnt to glorify youth, specifically. It is to market unattainable standards to make us all feel insecure and buy 'solutions' (aka beauty products). Even at the peak of youth, women get targeted ads that say they are not enough. The anti-ageing media is simply a continuation of that. There is no magic age at which marketing caters to you and makes you feel great about yourself. Because thats not the point. The fashion industry, especially mainstream modelling, often seeks to exclude anyone that isn't skinny, young, conventionally attractive, able-bodied, cis, and has Eurocentric features. Then, when they get models that tick those boxes, they edit them into oblivion. On that basis, they create an unattainable ideal that excludes basically everyone.

[@AD-eg9cw]

100%. I just got into learning about business, and the anti-aging industry follows a very simple formula: Find a problem (aging) and come up with a solution (products/procedures). The bigger the "problem," the more profitable the "solution." That's why they try to make aging seem like a waaaay bigger problem than it really is.

[@randomtinypotatocried]

Even with the plus sized models, there is a ridiculous amount of high standards even for them as much as they love pretending to be inclusive to different body shapes and sizes

[@elinat2414]

@@randomtinypotatocried Yes! I would argue that the plus size model look is even more unattainable than just being skinny. While it's not healthy, in theory most people can become quite skinny with enough restrictions. To fit the plus size model look, you need to have genetics that allow you to store fat in the 'right' places (ie boobs and but). That's even more rare; there are a lot more skinny people than there are people with the type of hourglass figure plus size modeling usually requires.

[@amypoague2831]

Thank you so much for this video. I'm 47 and just figuring out my hodgepodge style. It brings me a lot of joy.

[@samarakittenINC]

I didn’t realise how much I needed this video. Having left uni and joined the work force, I have been feeling unfashionable and dowdy when looking at the latest fashion trends. This is me at 27 last April. I’m now looking to carve out my own sense of style that relies on what makes me happy and comfortable 💕💘

[@JanineSmith-h6g]

Turned 52 recently. During the initial stages of the pandemic, I grew out my hair from very very short to the longest it's been since junior high. The first time my mom saw me with my long flowing tresses, she commented "you know, women of a certain age..." and didn't finish the sentence. I promptly became emotionally thirteen and swore I would never cut my hair again. (Not true, obviously. I'm getting regular trims to keep my ends healthy). Unfortunately, not all societal expectations come from the media.

[@Glowing_cactus]

Your Mum is influenced by the media to!

[@rhythmandblues_alibi]

I always wondered why most older women have short hair. I assumed it must have something to do with menopause but now that you mention it, there is a definite stigma attached to older women with long hair.. like people make assumptions about the woman as being some sort of old hippie or witchy type. But I love long hair on older women! It looks so beautiful and otherworldly when it turns silver/white.

[@cordulam]

@@rhythmandblues_alibi The hair does become thinner when you are aging. There are women who are blessed with thick hair, so they can still wear long hair when they get old. As a child the old women around me (especially my grandma and my primary school teacher) had waistlong hair that they wore in a beautifull updo every day. I looked forward to do the same, but unfortunately my hair is much to thin to do that.

[@rhythmandblues_alibi]

@cordulam ahh I see. Thank you for clarifying 💜

[@moniquetroth]

@@rhythmandblues_alibi Also, some of us cut it because it just becomes a hassle. We're old, & we're already dealing with too much crap. Adding long hair to the list of things is just one thing too many for some of us. For me, it was finally accepting that my double follicles (seriously, two strands out of every follicle in my scalp! it's maddening) were the cause of lots of my migraines. My hair is still relatively long: when I cut it, I tend to go just above my shoulders & then let it grow until a few inches below. But I can't do waist-length anymore unless I want to start buying stock in painkillers.

[@NewRiverSelkie]

I’m 63 & always worn vintage. From the 1960s back to late Victorian, I still wear most of them, that haven’t fallen apart!❤I intend to go with what makes me happy and reflects my personal style no matter how old I am.

[@trilliand]

I am in my mid 40s. Tell you what: your body is going to change. Some of us can and/or still want to pull off sleeveless tops and mini skirts. But many don’t feel comfortable or won‘t want to or simply can’t be bothered to keep up with idealized youth fashion styles. The good thing is, today you can wear pretty much whatever you want to wear. The downside of the idealization of youth is, many brands simply don’t cater to bodies with marks, sagging skin, bigger busts that I tell you will wander downwards if you stay natural, etc. I am looking for clothing that supports my body, not the other way around. So (often but not exclusively) cheap brands with thin cloths, hemlines only above the knee and shorter, trousers that don’t support some booty, and tops that don’t even have darts to aid in giving any form, just aren’t an option for me. Some women when they get older might feel comfortable in H&M or rock that kind of fashion with their still toned bodies (but also toned bodies get older) and that’s fine. The best thing of getting older is that you finally are free of so many societal pressures to have to fit in. I am actually welcoming my wrinkles because they gave me back a freedom in being that I can only compare to a carefree child just enjoying life, not having to conform with fashion trends or makeup trends but simply living and enjoying your life, family, friendships, hobbies, etc.

[@traylong]

I'm 57 wear sleeveless tops as well as mini skirts and mini dresses in the summer, so didn't know that was taboo for older women with untoned bodies? Never was toned, even when younger, was a size 4 then, now I'm a size 16, have slender limbs, long legs. Love H & M, mainly because they have oversized flowy dresses that fit my apple shape, and they are reasonably priced. The only thing I don't wear is plunging neckline, which seems to be what every plus size dress seems to have. I have size D breasts, never liked this style even when I was younger.

[@unfilthy]

Here's a thing. I dyed my hair constantly (various colors) since I was 15. I stopped at some point in my 30s due to not feeling like putting in the effort. Now that I'm 48, I don't dye my hair because I dislike the idea of giving the impression that I'm trying to hide something. The hair color thing is part of my general personal preference for not trying to pass off fake things as real. I'm fine with wearing fake things. I have a fake pearl necklace that looks like it and I love it. I would rather wear something fuzzy and obviously synthetic than wear fake fur that tries to look like actual fur, if that makes sense. I feel that can be the difference between making a personal style statement and trying to appear to be something you're not. Similarly, it's worth keeping in mind that wearing "granny" clothes when you're young is a statement. Wearing the same clothes when you're an actual granny may be intended as a statement, but is less likely to communicate your intent clearly, and I prefer my choices to be clearly my choices. It's also worthwhile considering that cyclical fashion trends mean that some stuff that looks fresh and new to young people may look drab and boring to those who went through that particular cycles the previous time(s) is came around. We can get bored with stuff we saw everyone wear already, and not necessarily feel like repeating it. The same goes for other aspects of design. The Mid Century Modern furniture trend looks to many older people like the stuff all the old boring relatives (from a child's perspective) had in their homes when they were kids, and they don't necessarily want to recreate that in their homes. For me it would be like going back to my student apartment with my parents hand-me-down furniture set. I am just not interested. Bottom line, the things academia or the fashion industry or the younger side of the internet think of as the problems facing older women are not necessarily what actually bother us. Now, universally non-creasing concealer, on the other hand...

[@mettamorph4523]

OMG I feel kindred spirit here. So well said. I don't want to look young. I want to look GREAT. I know what I like I need fashion to fill that category. Find comfortable stylish ways to age.

[@unfilthy]

@@mettamorph4523 Absolutely! Well put, and way more concisely than me. Give me enough variety to choose from and leave the feeling comfy and looking fabulous part to me. I've been around the block, I can handle it.

[@wildmarjoramdieselpunk6396]

Why do you feel you are hiding something if you dye your hair when older by not younger?

[@sharondownie6008]

I'm 75. Your program is excellent. Thank you.

[@mi-no3wk]

Finding people who love and accept you is truly the key. You ended it on a perfect note.

[@Urfavbbg66]

Omgod yess this topic has been eating at my skin for a while now. Like I was talking to my 10 year old sister about a book she’s writing and she has a main character who’s super successful married with loads of degrees but she only 25 and I was trying to explain that no 25 year old women would be that successful that realistically she’d be around 35-40 and she goes that’s too old and I was flabbergasted like it just goes to show how obsessed with youth our generation is rn

[@riverAmazonNZ]

Does she think Taylor Swift is too old at 33? Rihanna (35)? Emma Stone (35)?

[@MistyMaize]

our generation?? its been like this since the beginning of time

[@emilynam6084]

As a 25 year old who has only finished 1 degree, I felt this.

[@RefractedStarlight]

I mean when I was ten I thought middle schoolers were so cool and mature… I think this is just a life experience thing 😂

[@wildmarjoramdieselpunk6396]

I usually felt this was about Harley Quinn. If she had a PHD, she would probably be in her 40s not 20s. Even people I know who motored through to a PHD are in their late 20s and that is with not taking a single break and in a field where they didn’t have to intern or do a practice first.

[@albertqhumperdinck]

The fashion possibilities are among the things im most enjoying and continuing to look forward to about aging, i wanted to wear trenchcoats and turtlenecks in my 20s but when i would put them on, i felt like a little kid playing dressup. Now that im pushing 40, I feel like im ready to become the hot crone i want to see in the world!

[@sophial.6922]

the irony of an anti aging retinoid ad playing on this video after watching the clean beauty video almost knocked me out

[@celeri6497]

i'm 22 with a cane and have been nicknamed grandma for a while because i dress old fashioned and modestly, and i fully embrace it lol. grandma not in a woman with children and grandchildren way, but in a kindly disabled nonbinary person way 😊

[@sarahblack9333]

Every community needs at least one kindly grandparent

[@IntuSounds]

A grandma is obviously not genderless lol

[@celeri6497]

@@IntuSounds genders are fake and the roles dont matter 😌