The Fighter and The Kid - Episode 394: Theo Von

Brendan is joined in studio by Theo Von to co-host Episode 394 of The Fighter and The Kid. They roast each other and talk about Domino's vs Pizza Hut, previous jobs they've had, Chris D'Elia, and much more!
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[@jedimindtricks87]

Brendan: Bro you look like you make the best sloppy joe in LA right now. Theo: You look like you raised two kids named sloppy Joe.

[@yukmoutb5885]

The best line in the whole podcast - " You can't be Brenden Schaub again, you gotta come up with a new fighting name cuz everyones gonna be like "oh I beat this guy" - Theo Von LOL

[@genethetimemachine5514]

Hahahahahaahaha

[@TheFutureRingKing93]

Yukmout B you can tell that hurt schaub’s feelings the way his face sunk a little and he simmered down a bit lol

[@Exhorderx]

That was brutal

[@user-jx2gw4cn2j]

That was kinda mean. Fighting is a prideful and personal thing.

[@blkwolff]

meh, I still respect Brendan a lot as a fighter.

[@LeyshonBurger]

‘A buddy O’ mine mailed me 3 peaches’ ‘That’s weird dude’ LMAOOO

[@GravyHucker]

Yo, let me get one of those peaches

[@tyler9684]

Theo: "how many skateboards does that haircut come with " LOL

[@sixburgh64ss]

"A guy that will not retire from Hot Topic" 😂😂 That one is right up there with "a mechanic at Nordstrom Rack".

[@bryanwalsh8859]

sixburgh64ss no chance. Mechanic from Nordstrom Rack is by far the best.

[@ibevorpe3035]

"You look like you sell 2x4skins" that killed me

[@sixburgh64ss]

Just picturing big Schaub being the elder statesman at Hot Topic that takes his job super seriously and all the young employees with blue/purple hair and multiple lip piercings hate working with really amuses me.

[@richardf9112]

He looks like a lumberjack that gogo dances

[@mauricioromero6115]

I dunno dude. 21 Jumped street is fucking hilarious.

[@supavillain4941]

Theo "we had this kid in my neighborhood" Von

[@SuperHoneyOil]

And Joey, "coked to the gills in 85" Diaz. Also Joe, "11 hydroxy metabolite, keto, kettle bell" Rogan. I doubt anyone can talk for hours and hours and not ever repeat a funny story

[@conc3d189]

At this point I really don't care if Theo just makes it all up

[@ShaneKelley207]

Stop The Tape Haha I do. I had to stop listening to his podcast. I love to hear him on other podcasts from time to time but there was way too much unbelieveable stuff for me

[@arctic1144]

but you know when he starts it with that it turns out funny asf

[@HanSoloxcs]

T

[@deaconshoes394]

The Bits: 0:00 Opening Roasts 3:46 Ed Orgeron 5:45 Women's Band-aids 6:43 Peaches 7:18 Swayze Hair 9:18 Billy Conforto (RIP) 14:28 Molester Belt 17:52 Pizza Hut vs Dominos 20:37 Hair Roasts 22:16 Theo's First Asian 26:27 Theo's Childhood Restaurant Experience 29:27 BJ's Pizza 31:26 Racist Band-aids 33:50 Theo the Fighter 35:22 Theo in Vietnam 39:37 More Roasting 41:05 Duck Egg 45:38 Lesbian Capris 48:08 CM Punk 51:41 The Trail of Tears 52:20 Theo Speaks Japanese 52:49 Kizzy Laront 53:21 Ric Flair Drip 57:46 You Already Got a Wig Bro 1:00:30 Benedict Arnold X9s 1:01:52 Silence of the Limbs 1:03:40 Kindergarden Strippers 1:05:48 Get Fucked Chris D'Elia 1:07:49 Paddlin 1:12:44 Lawton McKee 1:15:54 Labour on the Runway 1:28:10 Instinct, Rumour, Legitimate Hearsay

[@ness656r3]

This should have more likes tbh lol

[@giggityeffyou]

Ness656 R For real. The best is how he didn't ask for any likes at the end of this comment and didn't ask anybody to subscribe

[@TheDrewgutterz]

I love you sincerely

[@solidusmusique]

Time stamps for the “don’t touch me bro” missing tho :(

[@barryskilling7874]

Nñnnnnnnnnnnnn0

[@PatchesOHoulihansNutSweat]

Shaaaab: The other day i ran too far. Theo: What the hell? Get a map bro 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 @5:47

[@CAM-lh5mx]

This is my favourite pair for any podcast I listen to.

[@wotwot5212]

Theo + Bobby Lee, JK news is way funnier. Not a stuck up bee stung bitch complaining about him being racist all the time

[@tommypemberton3400]

Cough* Bryan called and Chris d’elia*cough

[@gerryobrien7973]

CAM I completely agree with you man, I'm Irish and this is how we rib each other. It's all love with an abusive undertone haha

[@DulzyTheRobot]

Fern sauce..... sweet

[@xmikex902x]

I love Theo, but I can’t respect anyone that has Brandon in such a list.

[@Miguelangelfilms94]

"Homosexual construction, thats what you do" i dropped my joint.

[@kaeser12]

M O i think he said "homesexual"

[@WhatsUpMan04]

Slangin that 2x4skin bruh!

[@paradise2692]

Legend

[@Black.Lives.Matter]

Bro I literally cried

[@HamptonCollabs]

I smoke reefer buds

[@liamm9069]

"Bridge To Spina Bifida" isn't getting nearly enough praise 😂

[@GravyHucker]

His whole explanation of the situation was one of the best I've ever heard.

[@romansunounosies1519]

Theo cut brendan deep with that cm punk thing 😂😂

[@simon6kilo90]

If you combine their outfits and hairstyle you get Joe Dirt

[@SpankyCSTX]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@jakeos6051]

Holy shit! 😂 😂

[@phillipadams6735]

Joe Dirt starter kits

[@alv.3007]

more like swoe dirt

[@genethetimemachine5514]

"You look like a guy that will not retire from Hot Topic"

[@royeaston6067]

Schaub Is such a good sport to be fair.

[@cultaholics]

Teacup in a shitstorm bruh he’s actually a shit sport. See: anytime callen begins to joke about him with a guest

[@Kwestdaroc4]

He learns from the Kid Callen throwing cinders!!

[@blappichulo9015]

@@cultaholics You're right. But it seems Theo knows how to skirt the line without pushing to the point he gets defensive (and awkward, and unfunny). With no Callen, Theo and Brendan are actually funny! And I'm no fan of Schaub in anyyyyy other context. The sad / ironic thing is... I guess a lot of people voiced this opinion, which got them a podcast. But their podcast is nowhere near as good as these Theo Brendan TFATK Episodes. In my opinion that's because when they added an ensemble (shapell, Filipina girl, nick + chin)... ensemble crew in front of them, Brendan feels the need to perform and get laughs from that small audience, as it were. Since he cannot come close to Theo's wit, he frequently and unoriginally rewords whatever funny thing Theo just said.

[@comfykeegs]

Sportin that very straight vest

[@russellcrowe8099]

Callen isn’t a good sport either that’s why they are together perfect couple ! I’ve seen episodes where Brendan is having a convo with someone and as soon as callen feels left out he interrupts with some random billshit he can’t stand not being the center of attention

[@deshadrickkates3998]

Is it me or should Theo Von play Gambit in the MCU???? Lol

[@williammoore7861]

They are from the same place same face and im pretty sure theo could fling a card

[@thestuffoflegenddanielloer7883]

I was thinking the same thing. Haha maybe not cuz he's not much of an actor but personality, voice, and looks hes pretty spot on

[@zj8478]

DeShadrick Kates nah Riddler

[@Jon-dr9th]

Theo consistently kills it on every podcast he’s on, and even his own podcast. he’s one of the funniest comedians of all time.

[@rebelscumcustomsweathering5584]

Hes just naturally funny every time he talks

[@illuminati5160]

Hes very good but saying he's the one of the funniest of all time is ignorant

[@TalkingThrones]

Theo was conceived on a fan boat in the Florida Everglades.

[@alsnow1049]

😁🤣😁

[@tbrayboy02]

But it was really in Louisiana

[@stevenmartinez872]

And the fan was powered by the hot breathe of his kin CCCCOMMMMMONNNN

[@redeemedforgivenfree349]

😂😂😂😂

[@wyattrussell7496]

Is this the talking thrones podcast? Congrats on the Emmy!

[@mumble97]

Y'all talking about Pizza Put vs Domino's when the true champ is that Grey Block Pizza. Grey Block Pizza on 1811 Pico Boulevard in Los Angeles with all of their fancy hitters like the Frenchy, The Deep Cheese, and the Venus.

[@angrycharcoalcat]

Ya no one besides the ppl from your town in LA know about this. Get outta here!!!!

[@mumble97]

@@angrycharcoalcat lol im not from LA I was just repeating an AD that Theo does sometimes about Grey Block Pizza.

[@angrycharcoalcat]

@@mumble97 godamnit my bad bro I ruined your joke

[@mumble97]

@@angrycharcoalcat All good! it probably wasn't that funny anyways lol

[@GravyHucker]

Get you some of that Hitter.

[@Bubbamccomb]

Brendan Schaub looks like he makes all of his own UFC Highlight videos under secret accounts.

[@greatersports6985]

Bubba McComb obviously 💀💀💀 all of him getting flattened

[@MJ-vj6zp]

The Podcaster he knocked out Mirko crop cop tho you gotta give him that.

[@JohnStockton7459]

Who wouldnt dude, ik i would lmao

[@billybob-hv5hl]

The champ is in the house. Come get some D'Elia

[@sovalouX]

@@RCorbzz Chris tries too hard breh. You don't even sound like a true grand slammer breh

[@Greeezy]

@@sovalouX is it grand slammer or just a grand slam? Ehh. Also. Y'true grand slammer or y'true baby? Ehhh eh.

[@brendonkingdavis5945]

Chris doesn’t compare to Theo at all his podcast with Brian was meh...I enjoyed it but this right here is that Hitta

[@BostonBlues]

Ehhhh y'cuda?

[@RochesterNY607]

didnt. make. a DEENNNTTTTTTTT!

[@MrAtomicAardvark]

Hahahaha Brenden was definitely training to combat Theo's roasts

[@MegaFlorest]

He was holding his own: "now let me ask you, with that lesbian haircut do you get a discount on Subaru Outbacks, how's that work? Are they just in forest green?"

[@stikdude22]

Imagine Bryan pretending to be Theo riff training

[@71sc502]

I wouldn't blame him. You have to. He did an amazing job. Kept right up with insults

[@Airforceproud95]

18:30 - pure gold

[@ProdSteven]

Brendan is one of few people who can riff back and forth with Theo for an hour+

[@giovannicazares3110]

Brendan looks like the bodyguard at a Claire's boutique 🤣🤣

[@gjsilion5507]

The toughest bitch at a Claire's boutique.

[@giovannicazares3110]

@@jonroth123 I know mine was funnier

[@Polyfusia]

RAT KING AND THE BEE STING. These are my favourite podcasts.

[@justinlawlor3898]

Theo and brendan at this time are the greatest comedy duo of all time

[@Joshua-bh7iu]

"I thought i met a Vietnamese guy once, was just a Mexican who'd been in a fire" - Theo Von.

[@reececaddick]

2xforeskin was not appreciated enough, that was quick.

[@shoeylouie]

not even being cliche mate... i spat out my coffee.

[@MidwesternFilthMixes]

So many quick liners in this episode

[@bizarro20daves]

Yeah that was comedic genius that just floated down the river

[@jeffreyjuliano2835]

What's the time stamp?

[@jakehoffman7525]

Theo has had 9 friends that took a bunch of pills and drove into an embankment.

[@jaseallenson316]

Lol, right. And he has seen or done more things on the interstate than a construction barrel.

[@isvvx]

“Sexy and thick? You sound like a mixed girl on instagram.” 😂😂😂

[@silkyr8223]

Hands down one of the funniest podcast episodes out there

[@sixburgh64ss]

This episode needs Callen. Laughing and fun is overrated. I need a long winded egomaniac to bring things to a grindig halt with a story about an obscure ancient civilation.

[@introvertchachi644]

sixburgh64ss more afffghaneeestan

[@teamgitusome]

sixburgh64ss that NOBODY else had read about xD

[@bracket8706]

Ol' Conversation Strangler Steven

[@KarenTookTheKids364]

Don't forget his "friend of mine" stories he uses to express his actual opinions with zero responsibility.

[@BM21017]

And a story about a super wealthy friend of his

[@jgold8585]

Meanwhile... Bryan is out Streetfighting building his street cred during this podcast

[@ETAisNOW-wn8wx]

J GOLD paying off homeless people to go around telling tough tales of himself

[@BostonBlues]

Brian'll keep ya busy in the ring

[@jgold8585]

He will definetly move around

[@choirboy8850]

He's got a piece on em! A 2 piece 😂

[@EnhancedLavaLamp]

"You can't be Brendan Schaub. You gotta come up with a new name, cause everyone's gonna be like 'oh I beat this guy.'" I spit out my coffee.

[@akaSheilaalien]

I live in OC and asked my boyfriend if he's ever been to a Vietnamese coffee house and his immediate answer was "not since we've been dating!" LOL

[@fatherjones29]

Theo/Schaub and Callen/D’Elia are MUCH better combos. Schaub annoys me when he’s with Callen but he’s actually funny when he’s with Theo.

[@Sobtoka]

Hell yes

[@DepthFromAbove]

Jason Jones with Bobby Lee as a guest on each.

[@NorHeadHunter]

I was going to post this, they need to change up dance partners, Sasso can be in shared custody between the podcasts.

[@joeycinphx1]

Schaub just mimics whoever he is paired up with.

[@robertrush9950]

Bobby Lee with Joey Diaz. Bobby Lee bullies alot of his guests but nobody bullies joey

[@whatthe5954]

"Guys who Joey Diaz would NEVER talk to." Damn, what a line and what a way to look at life.

[@timothyalan34]

I've listened to hours upon hours of Theo Von content, and I've never heard him lie. I've heard him joke around and I've heard him be wrong about something, but I've never heard him get caught lying. Dude is one of the most sincere people I've ever seen.

[@pressedinproductions]

He lies all the time. Half his act is an exaggeration.

[@pressedinproductions]

Just to be clear I love Theo like crazy, but listen to him enough and he remakes his stories a lot

[@bobbybobob2648]

Theo has no time for media newscasters like Wes Anderson, Don Lemons, and Lucky Carlson.

[@imavileone7360]

What

[@imavileone7360]

What about the Zucc? Am I right?

[@jose9630]

This is an underrated comment. Gold 👌🙃🤣

[@ShaneElliott10]

Theo and roasting eachother and D'elia roasting Callen is my favourite shit ever.

[@arronbertuleit6464]

been literally refreshing my page for this 😂

[@cb9018]

Street killer lol where you from bro

[@steventyler9591]

Arron Bertuleit I’m sad for your life

[@BenWalker01]

Hit the notification bell, it'll save you hours

[@auroraborealis13579]

19:56 .... first King It or Sting It segment??

[@MlRAAK]

I really like that Chin records stuff like at the beginning, or every once in a while at the very end he'll keep the video running after Brendan does the outro. Little things like that I think are really cool cause it almost makes you feel like you're seeing the real them, even if they're pretty much the same. Keep at it Chin!!

[@johnandrewmayne]

I can definitely see Brendan rockin a hairnet behind the cafeteria counter slinging sloppy Joe's

[@jkh5]

Go ahead and give Theo his 2nd guest of the year belt. He’s the champ champ for sure.

[@GuyYouWannaKnow]

14:31 The origin of "Don't touch me"

[@PETAGRIFFIN27187]

THESE 2 ARE THE BEST TOGETHER!! FIRE BRIAN!! i had smile on my face entire time and LOLed hard! 🔥🔥

[@DEEPMMA]

Brendan and theo on tuesdays and chris and brian on thursdays = #1 podcast

[@rideronthestorm_]

Dudel that would have been the best way to go about it looking back now

[@theted7736]

Still the champ. Gunna be calling him “two time” soon

[@Greeezy]

We call him the gender neutral Champ champ

[@bmoneybby]

He is the 2 time I believe.

[@callsigncamp]

Back to back 1993 1994 Blockbuster Video champion

[@joevuilsteke1252]

Chris Campbell Don’t get it mistaken!!!

[@jarrodsmith5259]

“You have to come out with a new fighting name because everyone’s going to be like oh I beat this guy” -Theo Von

[@Beeni801]

I just have to say...little Caesar's definitely has normal round pizzas. It's only the deep dish that are cut into squares.

[@Rushil69420]

Lenny from "Of Mice and Massimo" holy shit i lost it

[@Sam1878Henry]

What’s Massimo mate? Is it a store over there?

[@MrHeldenbrand]

@@Sam1878Henry Massimo is the Target department store brand for clothing. Like in UK there's M&S and people take the piss. It's known to be trendy and budget. Lol, Theo is forreal a genuis

[@eddemania4676]

I’m cryin already🤣 The champ is here!

[@DrAwesome2570]

16:06 "sexy and thick dude? you sound like a mixed girl on instagram" theo is the fucking best

[@brandonmcintosh5441]

Theo Von looks like Macho Man Randy TRAVIS!

[@GRfg1000]

Brandon McIntosh Macho Man Randy Travis Tritt

[@Brian-jp3wt]

Dat gender neutral haircut. Get that hittah

[@Sobtoka]

He's looking quite cavalier

[@kd9183]

Schaubs feelings got hurt when Theo asked if he would be able to beat cm punk

[@danteinferno4785]

And when he said he's Hairy and he should ask other people how they see him lol

[@GonzosSlaps]

And when he clowns his Women's band -aid

[@dakotac8071]

This is the true pilot for the king and the sting

[@Ian-ci8or]

Ha Brendan and Theo think each other is racist, but they've got nothing on Bert. Bruh

[@louisgraham9959]

I like theos racism though. It's honest, he actually believes himself, and he knows how to dress it.

[@ryannath85]

Louis Graham I don't hear any racism from Theo. Never have.

[@bobm.2468]

Burnt Chrystler is the skinniest and least racist

[@robertrush9950]

Burp christnerd is fat and racist but that's why he is our savior.

[@auroraborealis13579]

Hi Mommy, thank you for addressing this important topic. Barf Crystals is indeed Fat and Very Racist. Pretty sure he has neuropathy as well. Thanks, Jeans.

[@dylancarr8415]

Brendan the type of guy that opens doors with his elbow because he has a cup of coffee in each hand.

[@wethepeople7453]

I'm literally brought to sore abs and extreme tears at the maximum level everything these 2 sit down in the same room

[@amandamarie740]

You look like the toughest guy at a Claires boutique 😂😂 Theo I love you. Im obsessed with This past weekend and the king 👑 and the sting!

[@StreeTHiPHoP131]

Love theo on podcasts he always tries to get everyone in the room involved and feel funny, whether its his sound guy ( dont know his name), Chin, or Lee. Theos never afraid to share the attention much luv RAT KAAAAANG GET IN DARE !!!!

[@2hype]

Theo "DON'T TOUCH ME" Von

[@russellspicer3411]

I can't tell if he is joking or if he really doesn't like Brendan touching him ...he looks piss off after

[@Aligatori]

Russell Spicer yea i wonder the same thing, got wierd vibes from it

[@adams1458]

This was the best pod i have heard and i listen daily to like 6

[@cristoff3]

BOTH of these are on fiiiiiiiire this episode. Keep it up!

[@cjbarnes2010]

‘AND STILL the undisputed TFATK champion of the year, TTTHEOOO the Rat King Vvoonnnn’

[@fibsniper786]

cjbarnes2010 totally read this in Bruce Buffer’s voice 😂

[@richybahena]

Theo : my boy mailed me 3 peaches Brendan: thats weird , why does your boy mail you fruit 😂😂

[@garrettwalker1013]

“She could jump over a volleyball net” 😂

[@savagebill6663]

i wanna see theo and brendan do a parody of mice and men

[@crigletbuck2299]

Brendan the type of guy to wear a Larry the Cable Guy cut off over a white t-shirt.

[@ibevorpe3035]

If Shrek was a blue collar comic, it'd be Brendan

[@ronnieharwell8236]

These two are amazing together! I cried laughing at least 5 times!

[@kelleycustomartistry5542]

Love you guys!

[@LionAstrology]

Hahaha thanks for another podcast TFATK team.😃

[@bambishelley]

Ok, I'm officially over the fighter and the kid, I need the rat king and the bee sting podcast weekly

[@genethetimemachine5514]

They are starting their own podcast.

[@imavileone7360]

100%

[@orch254]

There is NOTHING better than these two together.

[@howardhavardramberg7160]

Brendan finally grows a pair and serves up some comebacks!

[@bobsacamanno5123]

“Look at these chopsticks boi” “deeees karate makers”.... The Champ Theo Von get those hittas boi!!!!

[@Brentrades]

“How many skateboards did that haircut come with.” LOL

[@markovanbaston9757]

Been waiting for these 2 to collab back up always the jokest. These 2 Brian, joe and eddie would be the sickest combination lol

[@HermitMoth]

I could listen to Theo and Brendan roast each other all day 😂

[@aj.z5018]

They need to make a podcast channel together!

[@JrOrtiz87]

"He looks like a hair dryer will not leave him alone" LOL

[@ilirsvenfrancous9011]

I love how much they love each other

[@conrad2639]

This should be a weekly show. So much chemistry.

[@Kv7]

I love when they roast each other lol

[@BLACK05GO1]

Brendan is a great punching bag for Theo's jokes.

[@jakeanderson9893]

I absolutely love Theo. The stuff he comes up with kills me.

[@anthonylynch423]

TFATK champ is here!! We need Theo once a month lol. This guy and Brendan are classic

[@jameslashomb5177]

50:09 theo seems to nail it constantly

[@yerpster]

13:56 theo was right, mullets r kinda in now

[@rickybizzness7364]

Super funny podcast! They feed off each other well! Great Charisma!

[@hmackprotection1]

“You look like the toughest bitch at a Clair’s boutique”- Theo “macho man randy Tragic”- Theo 😂😂😂😂

[@rawgamertv599]

Theo von is beyond hilarious makes my day this guy amazing 🤣😂

[@MrButchersTube]

Thanks brendan, we no longer have to wonder what larry the cable guy would be like had he grown up in San Francisco.

[@zerohero6602]

Every 30 seconds Brendens go to line, “that’s racist”. What a comedian

[@morningstar6562]

10:47 Theo: " You got the Indianapolis Colts "..🤣 how'd I miss that the first time!? 😭

[@bradleydrysdale5254]

Only guest to ever put Brendan in his place 😂🤙🏻

[@333capo]

Low key though Theo out here wearing camouflage capris with a college jaguar tee shirt. But clowning shaub the apache on his tent vest

[@josiahsablan6279]

Tiger not jaguar u fucking mook

[@mdfmma123]

Jakson you wanna know how I know you don’t follow football?

[@TheDuke4100]

That's not where and how you use "low key"...this low key thing is getting out of hand

[@mikemorris8168]

Louisiana State tigers. They would slap the shit out of you for that down there.

[@joshkukl]

How do you "low key" wear clothing? Also, that's a tiger.