The Link Between Personal Style and Identity | Molly Bingaman | TEDxUMKC

[@elisarichter157]

I had a teacher for Glas pearl making at vocational school, who once said :"Jewelry is not a luxury requirement. It is a basic requirement. Because people in all cultures, no matter how poor they might be, are making and wearing jewelry. Even if you only have some blades of Gras to work with. It seems to be a basic need for humans to decorate themselves as an expression of self valuing."

[@Deem57]

Jewelry is also a basic need for humans to decorate the ones they love as an expression of their relationship.

[@lynnmckenna9934]

In the midst of earthquakes, fires, or violence, no one is making jewelry out of of grass. I am not speaking of poverty, I am speaking of safety,

[@elisarichter157]

@@lynnmckenna9934 sure, in the middle of a catastrophe other things are more important than making jewelry. If you look at poor countries, you will notice, that even people who live in extreme poverty sometimes make jewelry out of things like plastic waste. Maybe it's also a question of how you define basic needs. Is it important for peoples entire life span or the basic things that you need to survive within an extreme catastrophic situation. Maybe jewelry has more to do with mental basic needs like being valued and loved than with physical basic needs. As the other comment said, it is also a sign of friendship. This might be relevant in a war, when you can't be with your loved ones. You carry their gifts to feel close to them.

[@jennyp4934]

Wow! I think I'll go out and buy myself a beautiful bracelet.

[@SomeLauraChick]

@@elisarichter157 Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs in action

[@olivest509]

Three years ago, I made a pact with myself that I wouldn't buy any piece of clothing that I didn't absolutely love. It changed my clothing game forever. I didn't get rid of any of my old clothes, I just added only things I loved. And my closet has morphed into something that actually makes me happy. It's a place where I can always find something that I enjoy and feel good in. I also don't allow myself to wear clothing that is uncomfortable. Pain is not beauty, it's actually the opposite. If it hurts me, it hurts the way I feel which hurts my appearance. Like you said, beauty is authenticity. I could pretend I'm not hurting, but that isn't authentic. Give yourself permission to be comfortable above all else.

[@amygoddardmusic]

I love this and have done similar myself. I ask do I like this enough for it to be a favourite item? If not I’m not buying it? And comfort comes first. If I’m uncomfortable I’m miserable, that is not what I want to express.

[@Jessiethegirl23]

Same.

[@rhahavyb]

I love this you just gave me a new goal for this year, only clothes in my closet I completely love ❤️ thank you!!

[@Sarahh185]

Thank you

[@peace6896]

I love this comment

[@VITALSPARKMEDIA]

“The question is not whether you have style, it’s if it’s being expressed.” This could be applied to many things: creativity, compassion, intelligence, humor, etc. What a fun talk.

[@lt7587]

Well said!

[@Sbannmarie]

Well stated

[@SteveJohnson1]

Is it possible to have style without it being expressed?

[@feelinguru-vywiththepaingu9808]

@@SteveJohnson1 Definitely, when you express a style that isn't authentic to you it looks like you have no style at all.

[@tmhtoo6563]

What an existential and sad moment for both of you to have realized that she knows that her wonderful, fun self is still alive, but for whatever reason, she is not at a point where she was able to nurture and grow it. I am working on being less judgemental as I get older, and sometimes there has to be happiness and joy in knowing that you did the right thing by showing her HOW she could tap into her "inner self". As the woman's circumstances change, one can hope that she will be able to actualize these disparate parts into a unified whole.

[@iamartsymomsy]

I wish more people would see this. In the world of "influencers" a lot of us is vulnerable to losing our own sense of individuality. A lot of us become depress just because we become insecure for not being and looking like someone else, but in reality we just need to find and discover our own "Authentic self" .

[@thatswhatisaidCA]

As Molly eluded to in this talk, we also have to be brave, confident, able to show our authentic self, and that takes work. Like the woman in the story, I'm sure her story is very common, whether it is our acceptance of what others think we should look like, whether it be from our partner, friends, parents. Many are afraid to be their authentic self in fear of losing love and acceptance. Sad.

[@martal662]

Couldn't agree more

[@yourstrulylulu]

True.

[@jenndoingmybest]

Omg you are SO right!!! 💯

[@maryannelarsen1186]

Weird outfit. Distracts from her excellent presentation.

[@lydiatheglimmermaid]

The idea of people dressing to feel seen is so awesome. I always heard the narrative that it's vanity.

[@prairieN]

Ive noticed the people who push that it's vanity are the ones who feel uncomfortable when people express themselves for themselves and not under the control of the criticizer

[@IncandescentLightbulb00]

@@prairieN absolutely! Was just about to say this exact thing. When people perceive something that should be positive as negative, it's because they have a personal issue that they aren't addressing. Otherwise why put others down?

[@ShradsTalksBooks]

@@IncandescentLightbulb00 because it's easier to drag others down than to try to climb out...

[@jeannine520]

Which is why I've always spoke out against school uniforms when the topic has come up. Stripping identity and self-expression away from kids in an attempt to make them equal or to "foster cohesiveness" is cruel to the child who is usually trying to figure out who they are and where they fit in the world. I've heard many arguments for it but none have convinced me it's good for the children.

[@Futurebound_jpg]

Same here. Got called names my entire life for how I looked, my weight, how I cut or coloured my hair, and how i dressed. The only people who insulted my outfits also insulted my body or my face, I think they’re the vain ones who seem to think physical appearance is SO important that it’s worth mentally abusing and insulting another person over.

[@whilewereaway]

Thank you, I needed to hear this. I was a thin, attractive, vivacious young girl in school, who later in life became overweight and started dressing so nobody would see me, in baggy, drab clothes. I missed my pastels, vintage clothing, and crazy color mixes, but I felt I would look ridiculous as an older, heavier woman dressing like that. I think I should stop caring what others think and dress as my authentic self again. Thank you.

[@rachaelg.4804]

Sounds like your quadrant #1 😄

[@tw_3631]

Please express your beauty! There are many people who are happy to see it and they think that you look fantastic! The more we do this the brighter the world becomes!

[@m0L3ify]

It's so much harder when overweight people only have 2% of the clothing options available to them that everyone else does. I've often thought I should do this same thing, but then I'm like "but...where would I find those clothes?" For us, it's not as easy as just making the decision to switch. When those clothes don't exist for us to wear, it's no longer a matter of choice.

[@rachaelg.4804]

@@m0L3ify more brands I think are coming out with great options! I love the brand Jessakae 😊

[@m0L3ify]

@@rachaelg.4804 That's good to hear! All I know is Torrid and I'm sick to death of their jeggings and paper-thin fast fashion t-shirts. At least they sell something I can wear, tho!

[@mikeandjuliecarson5067]

The lady in the second story needs to put that pink blazer back on and find a new husband. Self expression is everything!

[@lm3clark]

C O R R E C T

[@Theyusone]

I felt so sad when i heard it :'-(

[@listerutube]

0xxxxx⁰

[@birdlover7776]

Agree💯

[@CDubzWhat]

Amen

[@losingmychic]

There's no way you could possibly know this, but this video has given me the first sense of relief I've felt in about 18 months. Little did I realise how much my life doesn't match the quadrant I fit in. Thanks to a job change and the pandemic I have been living a life that is the opposite of what I really need. This little video has opened my eyes to that and i feel a sense of hope again. Thank you.

[@christineholbrook1107]

I loved this talk . I thought it would be light and fluffy , but it was profoundly thought provoking. I've let myself go , no longer caring what I wear day to day . I've been living in the shade for so long regarding how I dress , it's a reflection of how I've been living my life . And it hasn't been the authentic me . It's not just the way I throw my clothes on , it's my general way of living . So not me . I feel I've seen the light . Thankyou for such an awesome talk . Xx

[@Elizabeth-de1uv]

@@christineholbrook1107 sending you so much good energy to help you express your light again. Your comment really touched me. Have a wonderful time rediscovering your joy and expressing 100% Christine.

[@WealthofMyself]

I want to hear more of your story.

[@CastledarkDweller27]

I'm an older vegan hippy lady who lives in the Australian bush with a heap of animals. I know nothing about fashion or style & i myself am NOT by a long shot, fashionable or stylish. But as SOON as i looked at Molly Bingaman, i wanted to hear what she had to say! That fun sleek hairdo! (that im dying to see how the colours blend when its all ruffled and shook out) The sophisticated pollyanna feel of that pinafore in the most confident & cheerful of colours! And best of all, that once in a lifetime find! That blouse! The immaculate contrast of the face-framing collar against the red & oh those sleeves...with such an olde worlde romantic vibe but with the sexiest polka dots ive ever seen in my life! If she walked by me in ONE of those things i would look twice. But all 3? I cant take my eyes off her!

[@JennEllenA]

Ditto, 💖 !

[@franzabananza]

Wow she turned style into a spiritual right of passage. I love this!

[@chaneehylton2815]

She sure did!

[@Crystina06]

WOW. Exactly!!!!

[@truepeacenik]

Watching this in a Costco dress from a thrift store. It has pockets. It is a warrior.

[@jennifercollinsbrever4898]

Is that dress an expression of your authentic style? That’s the speakers point.

[@flossyteacake4714]

Pockets are essential definitely

[@ChocolateJewels]

Doesn’t matter where it came from. What matters is, do you like it, does it suit you, does it make you feel great about yourself, does it reflect your personality, do you feel authentic I wearing it. AND pockets are a definite plus. 😀

[@lauriegani8136]

You had me at thrift store. My favorite place

[@starry_sky111]

🤣

[@rrhines3151]

What a provocative, thoughtful and timely Talk. Trying to return to the “real” world after substantial medical treatment for Stage 3 cancer during covid. What IS my style now? I felt I was a vibrant woman prior to surgery, chemo, and radiation, which I believe dissolved my femininity. Your orchestra comparison was encouraging food for thought and it’s imperative I find my re-entry to my new, real, “normal” universe. I DO feel invisible and I used to feel attractive and receive vibes that confirmed others thought so too. A brand new world…. Thank you for offering a refreshing perspective! May the journey begin 🙏🏻. Feeling hopeful and grateful regardless of statistical odds! I will embrace a place in your style orchestra 💃🎶😳

[@rrhines3151]

@@DC-jz7io Thank you !

[@alicebecht859]

Going through it right now, my hair was how people recognized me. Curly, shoulder length, brown with gold highlights. Then it was all gone and it was a bald me. Now it’s growing back mostly white. Time to find a new style.

[@rrhines3151]

@@alicebecht859 My heart goes out to you as you didn’t ask for any of that… nor did I and it’s a surreal experience. My style and identity was tied into lovely hair like yours and a work wardrobe VS my going out wardrobe! Even with my vaccinations, part of my daily wardrobe are face masks 😷 I wish you courage, compassion and a strong inner circle of family and friends as you move forward🙏🏻 Hair will continue to grow, may be colored and we WILL find our style! Blessings 🤗

[@kickitlikekirra]

I wish ypu the best of luck and strength and courage on your health and recovery journey, and yes! On your style journey, too! "Look good, feel good" is more meaningful than I'd originally thought, and feeling good is so necessary to our health. Experiment with your looks and shapes and lines and colors, HAVE FUN no matter what, keep a smile on your face and hope in your heart. You deserve to be authentically vibrant again!

[@rrhines3151]

@@kickitlikekirra You are most kind. Thank you 😊

[@saisaivipa]

My hubby does’t criticize what I wear exactly, but only gives me compliments when I wear neutral/minimal looks. My style was “eclectic” and was usually fun and bold. But lately I find myself putting on more neutral and simple pieces. Which is fine, once in a while, but I do feel like I’ve lost my mojo. I’ve also gained a lot of weight these past few years and consequently lost my body confidence and wanted to “hide”. This advice really helps to open my eyes. I was so confused with my style direction these past few years (I didn’t used to be) and now I understand why and can work towards expressing my authentic self again! Thank you!!!

[@JP-ve7or]

Man, that last part was heartbreaking. I would have liked to hear more about other people's effect on our self image but I guess that's beyond the scope here. And frankly, I bet this lady sees that all the time.

[@shirleylangton7967]

The woman's husband is the problem. He's never going to be satisfied with her. She needs to fight for her real identity.

[@deborahrossi8963]

@@shirleylangton7967 agree! She needs to dump him and go get the blazer that she felt fabulous in. Not worth staying with someone who can't accept who you are.

[@StephaniRoberts]

@@shirleylangton7967 Amen. He truly doesn’t “see her” for who she is. Nor does he care. I’ve been there and it will not change. My ex consistently ignored what I asked for and gifted me what he wanted me to wear. I returned them and used the credits to gift other people as the stores were always completely misaligned from my style. It feels amazing to be able to fully be myself now. Hope the woman in her story breaks free too!!

[@TM-tc3om]

I find it odd that the husband gifted her with a LadyBird certificate. Why would he do that knowing he's not going to like anything on her anyways. It makes no sense on his end. No one deserves to feel that way. They should get some counseling or go their separate ways.

[@MarcelGomesPan]

A dude here, who dresses in kilts and Highland wear. That is, i wear kilts even at ordinary days in a casual way. 🥃

[@JennEllenA]

Y e s ! & thank you

[@robincrowflies]

Wow. Her husband gave her a gift card, and took it right back. :-( Thank you. I'm one of those people who stopped trying to be seen, but then I met someone who saw me, and I blossomed. Lately, I've been experimenting with style, and having a lot of fun with my clothes.

[@ursulamarmion9727]

No she gave it back to him.

[@callmecordelia7181]

4 Groups of style 1. Woodwind - light bright fresh new movement 2. String - take more time comfortable welcoming patient knits 3. - efficiency get it done substantial texture sharp fierce 4. - no movement is a movement bold clean shaped fabric

[@BodyLanguageBoss]

This explanation mirrors Carol Tuttle's Dress Your Truth program! Very helpful for developing your personal style.

[@fullmoon5971]

I don't understand

[@natashafigueroa9198]

I feel like a blend of 1 & 2, with a dash of 3.

[@acertree1980]

I think I could be 1 , 2, 3 or 4 depending on my mood and where I'm going but I think my happy place is no. 2 Thanks for posting this reminder 😊

[@SmasherBunny]

What parts of the orchestra are groups 3 and 4 likened to? Maybe I missed this.... Thanks!

[@courtneyrobbins3118]

I love that this was very catered and personal, not just ‘Style for your body shape’, because it is a form of self expression that can’t be limited to a physical quality. I’m really glad I came across this! And what a profound story at the end. Moved me emotionally.

[@serenitynow8021]

This was like an amazing therapy session for me! Molly's presentation was so well done because she didn't sound like she was "public speaking." Her message was articulated in a tone and manner that felt real, and that resonated with me more than I expected it would. I have a lot of shame around my desire to be pretty--so I do not allow myself to take the time and effort to look good. Molly has expressed what I've always wanted to hear--that it is acceptable and even preferable to Just Be Myself, in all areas of my life, including my personal style. Instead of feeling vain (and therefore ashamed) I can feel authentic. What a positive reframe! THANK YOU Molly!

[@devidaughter7782]

yes, caring about our appearance does not make us superficial people!

[@MayflowerLac]

Admittedly, this made me cry. Even when I dress with purpose and confidence, my trouble showing up, makes me question it all the same. Now I will continue to build off that, instead of shaming myself for not dressing ‘high fashion’ Thank you.

[@Meme-go9ts]

I have to say I completely understand and go through the same. It really helped what she said about "not wanting to be seen", and people and oneself "learning to see". It's a process and I try to take it step by step. Oh, and did you know Marilyn Monroe struggled with the same thing?.. with showing up... wow, to me it's amazing that it has to do with appearances and not "simply" with looks. We can do this! You've got this. I wish you the best!

[@jolenekwasnitza3099]

The speaker totally described my friend. She is a larger woman who wears clothes that are her. She is vibrant and alive, and so is her clothing.

[@joannemcgrath3436]

This is wonderful and liberating I thought put your pink blazer back on and leave the husband behind . Been in a similar position very young and after seeing counselling ,therapy and many years later I embrace my style live of colour . In the 1980s I wore red alot I put this colour away when I entered without knowing what would become an abusive relationship I eventually 4 years later got to a woman's refugee thankfully with the help of a beautiful friend. One of my things during counselling was the Red Coat could I ever put it back on a constant fight with my confidence. I eventually bought a new red coat as I had left my old one behind when I went into the refuge my partner had put it in the loft I literally wore what he said red made me look like father Christmas . No one ever will tell me not to wear colour these days it's teals,greens shades of indigo and fushia and I love this Ted talk thank you so much for this it's extremely important 💙❤️🙏

[@joannemcgrath3436]

Apologies for my grammar in this and mis written bits. My expartner when i moved in with him put my red coat in the loft he put away me . Embrace you and what you love 💙

[@massages_for_world_peace8909]

That's so smart you got a new red coat, so you could let go of the other red coat, which was associated with your ex. Sounds like you really learned to trust yourself and surround yourself now by people that make you feel safe and loved!

[@markmagnuson7021]

I can confirm that Molly and Ladybird's approach is brilliant. I was one of their earliest clients and as a 1st Corner have totally transformed what I wear. But more importantly it's as Molly says if you are in your correct corner "people will get you better."

[@treasuretroves5497]

Authenticity is universally attractive!!! Love that.

[@fwb777]

I thought so too! That statement stood out

[@DuskHwy]

It feels so good to be seen and understood. Liberating, validating, empowering. But to go unseen--or, worse, to be "seen" in a way that isn't you--can make you feel like you're being slowly hollowed out.

[@clairewright44]

And this is how I end up watching 1-2 hours of KZbin recommended videos! The stories the speaker shared about two of her clients were really insightful. One of the best Ted Talks I’ve come across.

[@unnidavidsen3699]

This matches the four elements: wind, (light), water (flowing), fire (burning!)) and earth (rock solid)… I love dressing according to my energy! (Water/flowing/comfy).

[@JennEllenA]

Possibly because I have a dual dosha- I feel resonance in a couple areas and it definitely seems to have seasons!

[@cmw332]

The question is not whether you have style, it’s if it’s being expressed. This was so good !!! So good! Thank you Molly for putting this presentation together.

[@stylesense8678]

YES!! LOVE this approach. The old ways of 'identifying your style ie. preppy or classic' just seem a little outdated and aren't humans all about how we move and vibrate? Brilliant.

[@callmecordelia7181]

Clothes can totally be an armor to hide behind when people feel unsafe

[@hew195050]

Are you talking about me? That was the part I nodded yes to. I've been hiding for fear of being exposed and judged. OMG!

[@saisaivipa]

I also view clothes as armour, but more like to boost my confidence and to pick me up and help me face the world. When I feel down, haggard, exhausted, dressing up just picks me up every time! 😆

[@lilyrpeace]

Yes.. for sure

[@mrsblue3011]

I have found so great dressers to be horrible people. Sorry. Not sorry.

[@User-uw7uw]

I had a narcissistic mother growing up and she would control and obsess over what I would wear. That was one of the way she would control and dismiss my identity

[@solaceyes7767]

She can't. Your identity is always yours. I hope you are doing great.

[@AMonteiro4]

I hope you are taking the necessary steps to heal from the unfairness you have dealt with. Just know you are beautiful inside and out. You deserve to live the life you want and you will 💌

[@regalo1979]

I love choosing clothes for my kids until they started dressing up themselves. My son who is 15 doesn't go shopping without me. He really begs me of going with him and his sister. He said they will choose their clothes but they like to hear my opinion to be sure. My kids are known being stylish and unique and they are proud of telling people that they learned it from me. *sweet* I hope your mom lets you decide what to choose what you really like. She can still voice her opinion but the final decision should be yours.

[@twinkletoes1507]

Wow. Of course.

[@proserpine3332]

I hope you’re safe now 🖤

[@donnaphones3884]

Molly is such a GREAT communicator. Even her tone of voice during this presentation is super appropriate.

[@Aritul]

I thoroughly enjoyed this talk. I wish, though, that she had shown pictures when she talked about each quadrant in the grid.

[@tmhtoo6563]

Or a way to be able to determine your own personal style, or where you fit in the orchestra.

[@sarahs5340]

Omg 🤍👏🏻 she is so right. Resonance! This is why I love jewelry and accessories because I love stones and fine leather goods. Even if my laundry isn’t clean I can always accessorize a plain outfit. Love her talk.

[@amihicks9116]

Mind blown!! My daughters and I all played instruments (sax, percussion, and violin - respectively). Our personal styles match our instruments! Wow, just wow.

[@NinmahMa]

This talk gives me a step in the direction of discovering my personal style. When I was young I called myself a ’chameleon’ because I used clothes to create different expressions. I was a fashionista. After years of peeling off layers of programming and labels I struggle to have any idea what to wear. I think I resonate with the fourth category. It’s a start.

[@AngelTacha87]

Her voice is so calm and soothing. This is like therapy for personal style lol

[@ElizabethDohertyThomas]

A very fresh approach! I have found thrift shopping to be a glorious way to find my style. It's hard to argue with a $5 top that you purposefully try on (well, pre-COVID) and it looks amazing even though it's nothing you'd normally buy.

[@ElizabethDohertyThomas]

@@DC-jz7io Super envious of folks in "normal ranges" of sizes. I'm thin but really tall and have nobody my body time I'm good friends with. :D

[@ElizabethDohertyThomas]

@@DC-jz7io That is so cool and inspiring!

[@jenndoingmybest]

Excellent point! I live thrifting, too, and I love your idea!

[@stariadreamtea]

Not fresh at all! She stole this idea from CAROL TUTTLE a writer in her 60s who wrote books about this in the 90s!!!! It's a stolen idea almost word for word.

[@barbarapouw-vandevelde3080]

I generally really like my comfort, but I also really enjoy expressing myself through what I wear for different occasions. Therefore I am not sure I fit in one specific quadrant. What I wear to dinner with my husband is quite different from what I would wear going out with some colleagues, but I will always aim for it to be authentically me. I even miss going into the office because it gave me the opportunity to show a more grown up and powerful version of me that does not need to be expressed in my home life, but is definitely part of my authentic identity. Which part of me I wish to highlight varies so much by occasion, that I definitely have far too many clothes, but I also have great fun choosing what to wear every day.

[@angelabusby7689]

Sounds like the first type to me! Wanting that variety and freedom. You definitely don’t want to be held down or put in a box. You having a lot of clothes and having fun with it seems to put you into that category. Also, if you can see yourself in all the different categories, it’s an indicator that you are truly in the first category.

[@aerialpunk]

Yeah, I thought the same. In terms of energy for the music, I definitely identified with the strings and percussion. When she said what that meant, I was like, nah, comfort is important but as long as it meets my minimum, I'll focus on other stuff. I really resonated with what she said about the percussion people liking fitted clothes - that's definitely me. But I also like a LOT of variety.

[@massages_for_world_peace8909]

Same, I'm not limited to one category, I fit into a couple of them, depending on occasion and mood. I think just keep your favorites and maybe check in with mood each time you get dressed. Aka: which category am I in this morning vs what category am I in always?

[@mcoffeecation2153]

This has opened up a new way of looking at finding an authentic style. I'm guessing people do not always fall into a single quadrant. My guess is people can be a mix.

[@ladybirdstyling]

Excellent observation! We've observed that while each person does contain a mix of all 4 energies, one is always dominant and serves as sort of the "base setting" or default pattern for how their energy moves over time. But you're right--it's this unique sequence of a person's energy that makes for endless variety in individual expression!

[@helenaquin1797]

And perhaps different quadrants for different areas of our lives.

[@samiranizberg5297]

This is straight out of personality testing. Read on Sanguine (Fun loving), Choleric (Powerful), Melancholic (Analytical) and Phlegmatic (Easy going). You can be in neighboring quadrants but very rarely in opposite.

[@prairieN]

Yes! I watched it with my kids and my eldest is 100 the first quadrant. She can wear anything and it's amazing because she is always changing things up. My youngest has a base quadrant of no movement with the third quadrant on top. They love structured pants, suit jackets, and corsets, mixed with bold colours and soft clingy fabrics. I thought I was all the second quadrant, because I love soft and comfort (I'm autistic and cannot handle tags on clothing) but I think soft and slow are my mask that I hide behind. I like to work in intense bursts and if I stop to rest and do nothing, I get depressed and can't get moving again. Lots to think about. Thank you

[@hew195050]

I thought that too.

[@CrocPit]

This is spookily spot on. I’m hopeless with clothes but I have over the years figured out that animal prints, metallic elements and animal textures all suit me. I’m in the “sharp/fierce” group

[@lilya7110]

These four categories match the four energy types in Carol Tuttle’s ‘Dressing Your Truth’ system. I found her system helpful for aligning a color palette, patterns, clothing styles, hairstyles, and even makeup look ideas, that fit an individual’s authentic energy expression.

[@maidinulster]

This is the first TEDx that made me cry. I was always outgoing and expressed myself happily with clothes and still have a great wardrobe but over the years I’ve had a few bad things happen to put me in a corner so now I’m always in sweats, blacks, navy’s, dark reds, you get it, I feel like I’m in morning. I can refuse to go anywhere that requires dressing up like shopping or in town as I can easily shop in sweats on line. It took me a while to realise this that I no longer resonate with the beauty of my wardrobe, I can’t identify with its loveliness. Never did I ever imagine I would feel like this. And I’m the last one in the group on your talk. But I nearly scrolled past but very glad I didn’t ❤️

[@suno8911]

This talk has a deceptive title that made me almost quit watching it months ago. Lucky I didn’t! It is by far one of the best talks out there on “personal style” because of how it approaches and champions the need for creative expression and clothes as a way to self-discovery. I watched it months ago and since couldn’t get the images out of head. Now I’m back just to squeeze a bit more wisdom out of 10 minutes.

[@sarahharvey3115]

A lady who knows herself, looks fantastic, interesting lively, warm content...lots of respect & huge thums up.. I don't follow many people, but I would her.. Shes authentic & then some

[@saramari1957]

Where was the audience? The talk was so engaging, I was surprised not to hear laughter during certain moments and shocked there was no clapping at the end. Molly, the internet sees you!!

[@MissTXTee]

Sadly, I don't dress for creativity right now. I dress for coverage to hide my oversized body....I pray that as I learn to accept myself, I will learn to confidently express myself through fashion.

[@sarahforrester6421]

Try listening to some podcasts by Christy Harrison called FoodPsych. It will really help.

[@nicolef2496]

I have found some youtubers who do fashion halls and are plus and oversized and have great tips for styling to your body type and that's most important that you feel comfortable and confident regardless of body size and body type.

[@aliciaburbank9962]

@@nicolef2496 please share a few of them. Thanks 😊

[@gemmadoyle3926]

Well said. 👏 Currently, I’m in the same position as you.

[@hanaah1111]

I just got divorced from someone controlling. I feel lucky to be given s second lease on life at 60. I’m wanting to express my joy thru color and shapes in my clothing and not be afraid to be that.

[@lynnmckenna9934]

Aren’t we lucky that we can care about style. A luxury.

[@marmir4852]

Humans express themselves through their appearance for thousands of years. And style is not a matter of resources (most of the time), but rather willingness to stand for yourself. You can express yourself by a certain hairstyle, make up, jewelry or simply by how you drape a certain garment. But to experiment with all of this things, you have to be brave and see behind your limitations and flaws and see your uniqueness. A lot of people are teached throughout their lives not to stand out, make trouble and so on. Because subconsciously it means looking different is equal to look crazy, or being crazy. In the past this could mean excommunication from your community. Nowadays in the postmodern world everything goes. There are no rules but the ones we make for ourselves. So if people start to limit themselves it’s always a question of why they forbid themselves to express themselves. Of course there are people who care more or less about their appearance or not at all (which is rare). To think of style as the luxury of owning or shopping clothes is very limited. IMO

[@jeffreyreeves9854]

Good point, Maslow's Hierarchy and such. Let us be grateful that we have food, soap and medical care. All can be taken away.

[@francesbale1409]

It is indeed a luxury and we are lucky. Isnt it fun! Fun stuff is to be enjoyed not lamented :)

[@namedrop721]

@@marmir4852 very well said

[@namedrop721]

So I’ve had nothing but the clothes on my back. You have no idea how much what we put on our bodies is mentally and spiritually important. Being seen in any context-whether that’s the right to be taken seriously by a doctor or safely interact with law enforcement, or be seen as valuable by others is what keeps humans alive.

[@floratinuviel2762]

Another good tip is to imagine your personality as a character in a movie, what would that character's costumes/wardobe be to most express their personality? I find this helps a lot.

[@thejonasonstyle]

Finding the match. I do this with my clients. They want to unleash their real styles. And I show them how. Actually, it is like learning a language. Which colours, pieces, shoes ...can really express themselves- while looking capable and attractive.

[@willimacdo]

I was heartened by the level of intuiting that goes on in her role.

[@EdiaStanfordBruce]

I am "no movement at all" and now not ashamed of it. I dance like the mountain. I am Saleya. Rooted deep. Fire below. The landmark. Yet I do move. I move in bold straight lines like Virginia pines. Thank you, Molly!

[@33Jenesis]

Window dressing has always been important to me. I need to dress the way that I feel pleased. Sometimes it has to fit the occasion. Mostly it’s the joy of self expressing. I get a lot of joy in looking for things that I want to wear; from hats to shoes. I change my style preference every few years so i have all sorts of item in my home. I wish more ppl would get joy from dressing to please self. There is no shame in wanting to smile seeing the reflection in the mirror:)

[@CathrineAnita]

I LOOOVE this !!! My favorite quote of all times is from a Neneh Cherry-song, it says "Looking good is a state of mind" I think I had forgotten that for a minute, thank you so much for making this TED-talk and bringing this back into my life. I needed this. I have a red dress and I`m gonna throw it on!!

[@venusfirenza2547]

Molly is a stylist of pure beautiful truth!. The very impactful part was about the musical instruments. I thought "That is it!". When we are alone we are plucking away without any other players. If we don't harmonize, nor tune in with one another we start playing not as well as we should. We may have the tuners and electronics to tune with but it just isn't the same as interacting physically with others. This isolation has been the halt of the energy of music of my soul. Thanks for this. It really resonates with me.

[@susanarangel7015]

I love how she illustrated that clothes have to convey your energy! It's so true!

[@commanderkitten9954]

Ppl at work don't understand why I don't wanna go to the bar with them right after work n work clothes cuz I want them to SEE me. In how I normally dress as my authentic self. Not in work clothes cuz that ain't me

[@kristenjames-houston6992]

this was deeper than i ever thought it would be. Style, expressing your personal style is wayyyyy more important than I ever thought.

[@wambuiiam]

"The question is not whether you have style, it's if it's being expressed." I felt that!

[@jennifercollinsbrever4898]

Important psychology in the art of dressing ourselves.

[@Sophie-xi7be]

Exactly.

[@southernjulip2403]

This is a beautiful talk. Healing.

[@isabellaveloso886]

True beauty is when a shape resonates in so many levels, in such a direct, honest and courageous movement that even tired eyes cannot ignore its power and presence. I love this talk so much because it gives us a clue on that, illustrated in music, wave propagation, images, feelings. Helping us see the connection of what true beauty can be. Gosh, I love fashion! And I love been a straight line, as I found out after this beautiful video

[@rhonaklipp]

Excellent! I’ve been trying to figure out my style since getting close to 60 and gaining some weight. I also appreciate the instrument analogy instead of the fruit analogy. This is easy for men to use as well.

[@madloola9919]

I love this talk. I keep getting back to it.

[@dakotapeters5654]

mind blowing 🤯. growing up I was told time and time again that looks dont matter but personality does and so I went through life struggling to be seen by strengthening my personality but my clothes and in general external appearance was actually what repelled everyone... I'm so contradictorial to idk how much of society but a lot...

[@dakotapeters5654]

I can't believe I was missing out on a core part of my being and it a balance....

[@selenagivens980]

So interesting that a speech that initially appears to be light hearted makes so much sense in the bigger scheme of things.

[@norajasna2306]

Wow. Extraordinary. Thank you!

[@clairebradshaw3183]

Absolutely loved this. The story at the end broke my heart.

[@2HELL-ON-HEELS]

My sense of style: Give me something simple and I can make it look like a million dollars! Depends how I'm feeling. I stayed with the sense of wanting to know what happened to the lady that left without that colorful blazer.

[@sugarlee7648]

Me too. I don’t think I could have resisted following up.

[@chelseavuchinich4859]

I want her to have that blazer.

[@kikigood7567]

This truly changed my life

[@debraspeller3806]

Thank you! ♥

[@callmecordelia7181]

Sometimes people don’t know how to express their style. A woman with a dramatic Kibbie style and Winter coloring won’t look her best if she is trying to dress like her cute romantic Kibbie Spring friend. Same for a natural Kibbie Autumn. Knowing your type and color makes shopping so much easier. It cuts out trying on a lot of things that will look unflattering on a person. Sometimes people’s lack of style expresses that they feel like they don’t deserve to be seen or that they are hurting. But a lot of us don’t know how to express ourselves. Learning about Kibbie styles and about The Season colorings has helped me understand style much better.

[@cathykem]

Is no-one going to mention how gorgeous this woman’s outfit is? Wow! I want that shirt and that dres!!

[@Damnsaburna]

Since I was young people always told me they enjoy my style. I got through trends like all young people but I also stay ahead of the others. Or I go far back before their memories thanks to my fashionable mom and older sis. But I deff have a very comfy utilitarian personal style.

[@aliciagc2539]

This is brilliant! What an amazing and insightful presentation. I am going right to my closet to re-evaluate a lot of my clothes. I feel like I just got "permission" to be authentic in how I dress. I am the last quadrant. When I first saw her I was instantly drawn to her whole look and way of being. Beautiful lady.

[@williamdowns3390]

One of the most freshest Ted Talks I’ve seen in many years

[@12blin]

Dang, she is such a good speaker! A pleasure to watch and listen to her.

[@heidicheckettswest1091]

This Talk made me think about Carol Tuttle's 'Dress Your Truth' Program- she has also comw to the conclusion of 4 energy types which you express in dress and appearance. These two women are saying the same things.

[@sarajohnson2856]

I totally thought this too!!! I was like- wait. This is Carols system! 😂 I love love love them and they match up! ❤️❤️

[@stariadreamtea]

It's plagerism!

[@GoldStandard05]

Your last comment is the key to it. We start off as children and somebody ruins our spirit by teaching us we are nothings. Be invisible and be silent. Be a nothing. So, we grow up like that. Please continue to teach people to realize they are adults now so they can make noise and be noticed. It is OK. You won't get that look of disapproval.

[@kendalbrenneman]

I'm curious what my style says about me....About 5 years ago I started dressing in a way that I felt was more "me." Oh I loved my clothes before, they were fun and fashionable, but then I went vintage. I still have my casual days but my "look" now is anywhere from 1940's inspired to walking out of the house in an 18th century wool Outlander outfit complete with stays. Looking forward to adding some Edwardian/Victorian things to the mix as well. Come to think of it, I did a very similar thing in high school as well. One day a hippie, the next a goth... I have no idea how people judge me from the outside, but it would be interesting to know.

[@c.9231]

Very cool! I'd say you're being authentic.

[@karolynanderson2033]

I have a similar style, that is to say, extremely varied! I'll be in tie-dye and a beanie one day and wear a full, elegant dress and ornate jewelry the next. Both are equally probable, and this is just speaking to things I'd wear to work! I work in a museum, and patrons have asked me if I'm in a play or if I'm supposed to be a character, which I honestly love! Personal style has very few real rules, and I find it so wonderful that you can decide what story you're going to tell on any given day through your choice of outfit and overall aesthetic. It sounds like you have a similar attitude towards personal style, and it makes me so happy!

[@yensid4294]

Same, although I've toned it down with age (mainly due to disability & now being in the plus size range which is more limited in general for choice) When I was in my 20s I always got told " I love your costume" lol & people remarked on my clothing & appearance in general quite a bit. Sometimes the attention got on my nerves tbh & I now save the more vintage/theatrical outfits for going out/special occasions since I don't work a job that requires dressing up & the pandemic has me rarely leaving the house. Fine art painting & furniture refinishing don''t require glamorous attire :) Her idea about being seen is interesting because I've personally experienced the gradual invisibility of age & disability that exists in our society. One minute store clerks & waiters are flirting with you, fawning all over you & 20 years later they look right through you as if you didn't exist.

[@lauriegani8136]

I like you

[@kendalbrenneman]

@@karolynanderson2033 How cool! And how nice that they let you wear whatever you want to work! Where do you live (in general)? I need some fun friends but I'm going to guess you're not in the Netherlands. haha. It's so fun to play with style, I don't know how anybody is able to choose just one. One at a *time*, sure! I have a friend who always dresses sort of Victorian, and is constantly asked if he's in a play or something. I've had people compliment me randomly in public, or say my outfits bring back memories... I like it if I can make people smile just by wearing things I love, and I hope it can even inspire others to be more bold in their own lives. My boyfriend will sometimes let me know if I'm getting funny looks from people (and we're never really sure what those looks mean) but somehow I've gotten into the habit of not really paying attention to whether or not others are staring (which is great for not being self-conscious, though maybe I should be more aware of other people around me!). Over the winter with my new Outlander outfit, I was definitely aware that I was dressing different, and was intentionally avoiding other peoples' gazes, so I can still relate to what it's like to suddenly differentiate yourself. But after a while... you just get comfortable and that's just what you wear! You know... maybe it's just me... but sometimes I find it a little confusing as to why so many people dress so alike. We're in a time period where it's OK to wear practically anything! It's not as if wearing something from 100 or 200 years ago would be looked down upon as some kind of hand-me-down, and women can wear dresses or pants or whatever they want. We have endless choice! But sometimes it seems like the only choice so many people are aware of are what colour their t-shirt is and what's printed on it.

[@noone-yx3fl]

So inspiring she did this presentation despite the sore crispy throat

[@CatherineSews]

So interesting! The lines of different types of movement really worked for me. I get it! But I think I'm a combination of the slow easy waves and the jagged dynamic movement. That explains why I've never settled into one particular style. Thanks, Molly, for helping me understand myself more!

[@angelabusby7689]

Check out Carol Tuttle’s Dressing Your Truth. This is the same kind of thing. And she can teach how to style for your hair primary and secondary movements.

[@CatherineSews]

@@angelabusby7689 Thanks, I will definitely do that!

[@rmzmssmd5410]

Brillant! People are movement before language. One expresses right, when moving rightly. Instead of asking myself what is the right next move, I should ask how do I move and when does it feel effortlessly. I love that, thanks!

[@MrRichands]

Thank you. Molly, you are such a minister. I am changed.

[@nouveauChic]

This talk was so good! And Molly is such a treat!! I hope she gets to do another talk with an actual live audience next time.

[@CallyBellMusic]

Very interesting and I’ve never heard style explained this way. Trained myself in colour body shape and style personality, so I now have another way to view this. Yes, clothing truly does take me to my happy place. You look great in your orange red and speak eloquently, thank you.

[@missSDW]

I was not expecting to be sad😔 everything resonated with that story. The freedom I finally feel to express my self through clothing is very new to me. And indescribable, I can’t imagine experiencing it, for even just as quickly as a moment in a dressing room with a stranger, and then deciding against that. Making a conscious choice not to continue feeling that great about yourself. I’ve never felt like I’ve had any sort of fashion since until recently, sad it took me so long but now I’m having fun with it!

[@End_Orca_Captivity]

At 48, I feel I am returning to give myself the permission to be stylish and creative with my dress as I was in my late teens, but have not been for nearly two decades. It's hard overcoming certain narratives you convince yourself into 'fashion is anti-feminine', 'fashion is for the wealthy', 'fashion is for the skinny and/or beautiful'. Watching videos like this that educate on the link between appearance and identity and even your power, are so helpful and informative in giving yourself a new narrative, a more positive one. I just wondered with the grid idea, can you be two parts of the orchestra at once? I love the cello, I owned one for a short time and I love flowy, deep, sensual clothing, comfy with structure and a little off-beat at the same time, but in reality live my life in tees and leggings? 😄

[@drjomendeztalks]

Wow, this seems right out of the four types of energy from Carol Tuttle’s Dressing your truth. I wish everyone in the world knew their energy type, it’s a game changer.

[@stariadreamtea]

Yeah it's plagiarism!!!

[@Sarah-oe2jm]

@@stariadreamtea and there are style systems that did this before Carol Tuttle.

[@cq8822]

I know when I feel fantastic in something and I know what fits my personality and style. Good talk

[@davidtitterington]

What a great talk! I find it interesting that you use words like sympathetic and resonance... terms used in magic.

[@katesage3221]

Such an interesting approach to personal style. Thank you

[@ShellyBomb]

Fascinating TEDx Talk --- love Molly's take / talk on style & fashion ... 👗👠👜👓💄

[@Cowface]

Good video. I found this video because I’m trying to improve my style and had convinced myself that “looking nice” was some narcissistic masturbatory charade, to attract attention outside of your “personality” because you were insecure about that personality. I like thinking about style in terms of an extension of your true personality, not a mask to hide it behind. And besides, I don’t wanna be 65 and still wearing cargo pants and graphic tees

[@sherrilynnnelson703]

Don't let your "style" define your identity. Identity is invisible, and can never be taken away.

[@andreawall9304]

Stunning lady! I love her style 😍 she wears it so well ✨

[@Ci_beauty]

She described me exactly! I’m the second group. Ligh fluid movement. Love comfort and fashion! Lol I hate getting rid of stuff.

[@penelopelambson6794]

Very interesting and inspiring . Well presented, calmly, clearly, professionally. “Dressing to be seen” translates to “ dressing so you can be known” for me. Creating congruency in one’s life. Thank you for an excellent presentation.

[@arlenehutchinson9259]

First stylist that made sense to this human ❤️ Thank you