The Pizza Incident | True Stories #1 | ASMR

A true story from my youth revolving around a pizza, told in a drawn out, relaxing ASMR manner.
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[@derenjoy3r]

I'd love to see this become a series, its very comforting to hear smth you can listen to that is not a roleplay and a story moreso than just triggers (although I really like rambling plus triggers too) and I can get to sleep very well as I listen and concentrate on what is said to quiet my mind

[@richardaviles353]

I second this

[@Jack-jy8en]

I third this

[@kylethekyle5550]

I fourth this

[@dashsmash2665]

Yeah same, i just keep thinking about unimportant stuff and because of that i cant sleep. Asmr rlly helps tbh

[@lazagna6969]

i fifth this

[@fernandomerchan6843]

I´m a spanish person who is learning english and this videos of our uncle Rift are just the type of videos i love to practice my listening hability

[@Noldigur]

Your English seems really good! I wish I could say the same for my Spanish :D

[@manuugrz]

Somos dos Fernando jajaja, el tío Ephemeral (con su acento nativo) ayuda mucho al momento de entender un inglés fluido.

[@user-vn6ki6gs8w]

Tres, he visto casi todo en inglés por años

[@TheWhiteTiger101]

Tu inglés es muy bueno. Buen trabajo

[@Stp1497]

Mi espanol Es muy mal pero estoy de acuerdo

[@TheA1mightyFloop]

Fun fact: The meaning of ‘Book it’ originated from the term ‘getting booked’ A.K.A getting caught speeding and having demerit points ‘booked’ onto you license. This turned into the term ‘book it’ because it relates to sort of speeding as fast as one can on foot

[@lin0613]

as a lonely kid this was nice to listen to. like an uncle telling stories. you're the best!

[@possumofantikka8160]

#metoo i listen with eyes closed and its so nice to hear someone tell a story

[@sexmodtf2freepunjabinoviru162]

Depression sucks but enjoy your kid years. Being a depressed kid sucks but being a depressed adult is worse

[@Sporacle]

I was born in '92 and we said "book it" even in the early 2000s lol

[@RowanMackenzie]

This is the unofficial return of Ephem radio, and I am all for it

[@ladygravenly]

As a fellow dwindling fire 🔥 Do whatever is fulfilling for you, Rift. We will be here for it.

[@PikaSpatula]

ER you are officially the best asmr channel of all time, you have a beautiful calming voice, dashing looks, amazing imagination, lore, sleep factor, wide range of videos, and also normal people problems. This is why I think you are amazing because you have a lot of self awareness and realise things around you for what and how they are, absolute legend, you will never be forgotten in my past. Live long you legend🔥🔥🔥🔥 Edit: I want to also mention that er is a very good mental health speaker, and that he understands most of the problems that people go through nowadays.

[@PlushyCascade82]

I normally don’t comment, but listening to stories is one of my favorite things ever so this is awesome! Please make this a series, even if infrequent!

[@TheOnlyClore72]

Thanks for being you. I don't say much to anything but I enjoyed this because I was born in the early 70s and was raised in the 80s. The 80s were such an amazing time to live. My experience of the East started after I was married in the 90s. Thanks for sharing.

[@aldecotan]

I actually can remember some similar moment from my life. I was like 6 years old, walking down the street, and there was one old half-destroyed house in which no one lived as I thought. And when I came closer to it, one strange woman start to approaching me. She said something that I can remember clearly even after so many years: "Hey, do you want to see shark teeth?" I got scared af and ran away as fast as I could and she said something to me again, clearly upset that last one didn't work.

[@vex.242]

We definitely need this to be a series

[@KSUGA-mo6se]

NJ born. Same era. Wawa was where we would meet to make plans. We walked everywhere. Parents had no idea what we did all day. We were all mixed breeds, too. I'm from German mom and Irish Dad. Everybody's parents were from somewhere else. I loved everything about my Hometown. Moved to GA in the late 80's and it was culture shock for sure. Enjoyed this video, a lot! Thanks for sharing!

[@brandon-bm5xi]

I get this story. Even the phrase booking it. Was feeling pretty bad and ordered a pizza and happened to catch this video, and it just hit the spot. Feeling 100% better. Crazy how art/media and situations like the story are hard to believe or seem so mundane, but the focus it take to remember our stories and even more so the impact they have on our lives years later... storytelling is so important, I think, and we rethink things and tell it to others or even ourselves. My dad frequently tells me stories like this, and they help me think through my own situations and feelings about people places and scenarios I find myself in. As if simultaneously through my dad's eyes, almost anyway. I say this partially cause I know you're a father. I imagine it is a great joy for you. Hope and pray that 52 finds you well.

[@ERROR_SNF]

Uncle ER is 52?!

[@adderon7476]

@@ERROR_SNF Yes he's at least 52. Weeks old.

[@IamDefinetlyaBagel]

He looks like he's in his late 30's...

[@synapse6304]

the evil residence

[@aidencall4557]

This is the best Uncle E hairstyle in my opinion.

[@yGKeKe]

I feel like a psychopath, because I live in the same area and i keep trying to figure out which spots you're talking about lmfao.

[@RowanMackenzie]

Lol I love how you had to add 'still have a family' as a postscript, *its okay Rift we all know you traded in your firstborn for that Fabled Red Swingline Stapler*

[@Tacit_helmet]

Of course the convenience store turned into a Wawa💀 also they haven’t stopped saying “book it!” I’m 15 and say it

[@AuroraeCora]

Pizza is closer to toast. Perhaps you could preform Rorschach tests with pizza? Either way, love you uncle E! Thank you for the content!

[@looneybatemanscotch2579]

Love it all in one channel, just feels better. Less confusing

[@egg8806]

Just started the video but I can’t wait to dive into the rest of these. Thanks for all of the hard work you put into these for us!

[@RowanMackenzie]

This is literally all I need. This and Dave occasionally.

[@io6338]

Hey ER, I'd been watching your vids for a few years now, your content is truly one of a kind. Love it. Thanks for keeping on giving us content that's always fresh in some way every time you upload.

[@JennaEmbers]

I personally rarely get tingles from role plays, so ASMR storytimes are my absolute favorite! Thanks so much ER, would love to see more of these!

[@francesyeahyeah]

I know this may seem like a silly story to a lot of people, and maybe even yourself, but idk, something about it, something about the way it was told just hit me sorta weird, idk? its very comforting! thanks for this video, thanks for all of them. i don't really comment on stuff, but ive been watching you for years and am forever grateful for the work you put into videos :)

[@WibblyWobblyWoo]

Rambling is my favorite ASMR. Awesome to get some of that from you

[@thebluelibra5686]

I had a similar experience when I was a kid, walking home from school (1980s). Small town, school had baseball diamonds that ended at the edges of backyards, with a short sidewalk to the street. Walking home from school, I had the choice of the sidewalk (longer walk) or cut thru the backyards (shorter walk). I chose the sidewalk that day, and I was by myself, having stayed after school to get a homework assignment for the girl nextdoor who was in my class, but was home sick. As I started down the sidewalk, two guys, late teens/early 20s were driving down the street, saw me and made a u-turn. They stopped at the edge of the sidewalk, got out and started approaching me. My gut instinct told me to RUN, I hesitated for a second or two, then turned around and ran for the backyards. Running faster than I think I ever had in my life, I cut thru the backyards, down my street, and I was pounding on the front door of my house for my mom to let me in. I was in tears, I had even wet the front of my jeans a bit, and I was frantically trying to explain to her what had happened. She started watching to see if anyone came down our street, and to my horror, as I was looking out the back window, one of the two guys was walking down the street behind us, looking in every direction, I assume looking for where I had run to. A little later that afternoon, I saw the other guy walking up our street, but he had disappeared up the road by the time I could alert my mom. Never saw the two guys again, never saw the car again. My mom, being the only stay-at-home Mom on my street, became the neighborhood Mom, and for the rest of that year she would walk up to the school every afternoon and then walk home with all of us. She would often joke that she must have looked like the Pied Piper, leading this group of kids home every day. It was my honor to be her caregiver for seven years, while she battled early-onset Alzheimer's. She passed away not quite two years ago, but the lessons she taught me and the example she set, will stay with me the rest of my life.

[@adderon7476]

Kind of a no good deed goes unpunished story but good God I'm glad you made it home safe and that you and your Mom kept doing good deeds after that scare! ❤️💪

[@thebluelibra5686]

@@adderon7476 I think I was just wrong place, wrong time, but I also think that maybe there was a reason for it...maybe it was meant to make me more aware, or to make me stronger, or maybe one of those kids benefited from my mom walking home with them during the remainder of that school year. It was a scary moment in my childhood, but it wasn't the first. A few years earlier, my after-school babysitter lived in one of those houses that the yards backed up to the baseball diamonds. Well, her oldest son, who was 3 or 4 grades ahead of me, took a dislike to me. He and his friends would try to chase me down every day after school. One day I got held up after school, and they were all waiting for me. I don't know exactly what happened, because everything went black for me, but he and his friends didn't hurt me. When I got to the babysitter's house, she met me at the door, and had me sit down by myself in her dining room. When my mom came to pick me up, the babysitter told my Mom that her son had come home with what looked like rope burns on his neck, and that I was the cause. At that point, the story of the previous weeks of torment from her son and his friends finally came out, and to this day I don't know exactly what I did to him. His mom apologized to me, and my mom found a different afterschool babysitter for me to avoid any more problems. That situation may also have been wrong place, wrong time, but I know that it prepared me for the day my life was truly in danger a few years later, when those two guys came after me.

[@traceyisab]

OMG we DID say book it! Hahaha. Thanks for that flashback and chuckle. 🤣

[@a.c0tt0nball]

I'd love to hear more stories like this! I love videos where I could fall asleep if I needed to but I could also just listen during the day as a relaxing background to something that I'm doing 👏

[@counselorkatieb]

4am me needed to look up the etiology of “book it” - was not disappointed! Here’s what I found.. “To book it, which has been recorded since the 1970s, is an abbreviation of the older bookity-book, to run fast, to move quickly. This verb, which is echoic of the sound of shoes slapping on the ground, goes back at least to the 1930s, when one finds: 1935 Z.N. Hurston Mules and Men - “Dat ole lion give John de book; de bookity book! He hauled de fast mail back into de woods.”

[@ian7136]

Absolutely love the stories, can’t wait to listen tn

[@thomashorvath7026]

I like to slow KZbin down and with er being so well spoken it's so relaxing to listen to in slow motion

[@RM-el3gw]

this was a nice one. I can appreciate a good rant/story, especially narrated by you.

[@greentintgaming821]

Growing up in southern ontario in the early 2000s i caught the tail end of proper childhoods and this story reminds me of how my town was back then as opposed to now where i feel disconnected from what happens around me (ps pizza hut is nasty and greasy everywhere, not just your location)

[@quzyr8988]

This video reminds me of the time we were in austria and we would just sit at a campfire in the midst of summer at like 11pm with the locals and just tell stories. At the time i was like 5 or 6 so i never really told anything but i loved listening. Ah sweet nostalgia at when life was simpler. Thanks ER

[@wandrin2925]

Have to admit, sitting here listening to your story, I was slightly annoyed that the rambling tangents had me losing focus and made the story feel so slow-paced. I felt this way until my eyelids started drooping, and I noticed myself dozing off... and only then did I realize your true genius.

[@Oh-Deer-God]

Coupe has 2 doors, sedan has 4 doors, both typically have a front and back seat.

[@samuelluebbers4099]

Capping at 55:55 is a work of art

[@soulthedirewolf2315]

Love, listening to this stuff! I have stories but nothing as random as this haha. Look forward to listening to more of this! keeps me relaxed during my gaming sessions :)

[@ipostdumbstuff]

Now THIS would make a great series.

[@danlue5104]

2 door coupe and 4 door sedan 🔥 awesome videos man love watching them to just relax after work or before bed

[@bryceodom8091]

Just finished the bob ross documentary today. You give me so much of his vibe in these types of videos!

[@SchmookyLuke]

Florida resident here. We have Wawa's in almost every part of the state now. They are awesome. Anyways, keep up the awesome work uncle E!!!

[@butterytomatoes747]

I hope you make more of these types of videos, i love listening to them while gaming or doing whatever, keep it up❤

[@brandonamthor]

ER I love how all your content is just on this channel

[@MedliTheColorblindFurry]

4:40 "sorry, now im rambling" mate, thats what we are here for! love your content bud, keep up the good work!

[@DjZitify]

these last videos have been straight fire bro

[@adderon7476]

Glad to see the podcasts coming back Uncle E

[@thatoneguy202]

The Pizza Incident being the title is the sole reason for why I clicked on this video

[@sjreads7235]

Here I was expecting Andy Tate to come up

[@Snobuba]

Two days in a row? Blessing from the gods

[@splakbor]

I was too invested in the story to fall asleep

[@spec5385]

Day 32 of asking ER to make a video where he tells inanimate objects just how truly he appreciates all they do.

[@tranquilblab]

You are such an influence on me and inspired me to start making videos. Thank you so much for inspiring creativity 🎉❤

[@TheNostalgiaJunkie]

I hope that when I grow older, I come out to be as creative and unapologetically myself as Uncle E

[@AJCCycling]

Yessss, love the “just Paul” video’s!

[@toshirokigai]

The way you speak is like the way I think, It's kind of cathartic, the rambling

[@onlychino]

rift back with the stories. thank you. time to sleep at 12:51pm🕺✨

[@det.shoemaker2782]

One of the best parts of this videos is that sweater.

[@mcswearnet6659]

I had something interesting and long to listen to while working, they’re good when they are long. Make more please, anything interesting that you can think of please make more of

[@handlefart]

soft speaking is my favourite! So happy to have this recent dump of soft speaking content from the GOAT

[@th3pugm4st3r9]

I believe ER would be so good on podcasts or having his own podcast

[@gabrielgarciamontoya3553]

I love that u make this type of videos in this chanel

[@jacobcard2944]

Dude you belong on the radio! You got the voice for it!

[@TreeFrogOnATree]

Lookin forward to more of these, especially since I have no friends that I want to talk to! :P

[@ArcticArca]

44:19 i honestly wish i could do this more often, going outside and just hanging out with whatever group of kids my age there are. I had a conversation about this with my dad (hes around the same age as ER) and he was telling me how there was always a group of kids outside playing whatever. Whenever I do go outside in my town, I find it very rare to see anyone around my age. Nearly all the time when I'm outside, it's older adults or very young children with their parents. Occasionally I will see someone who's maybe around 12-14 on their bike passing by, but that's about it.

[@dericsion3480]

if you did another chanel i probably wouldnt watch that video, because i probably would not have it in my feed. So thx for doing it here

[@kinglohri8537]

I love the new Uncle Rift lore drop

[@maskrpplace]

Uncle rift at it again! Nice stand uncle E!

[@ChocoCarmelApple]

Scranton. Like the office Scranton 😮 lol 😂 I love your videos. Thank you. 😊

[@frankcullen3862]

Ahh a fellow Delco-ian! Great video!

[@WingMan372]

Thank You Rift!😀

[@McGuire40695]

18:11 No crap, that's where I'm from! Coal was huge up this way when my grandparents were kids.

[@ArcticArca]

this video was awesome, id love to hear more liek this

[@jadeitor6280]

Love your videos!!! Have a nice day❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@Numcelot]

thank you for sharing, glad the pizza was ok. oh and glad you're ok too

[@nowjustwatercereal3351]

I have t been subscribed for long.. Actually just now. But I've been listening to your videos for longer and I really like this type of asmr some videos more than other but that's fine ^^ All the comments are nice and it's like a family and you actually do give of a vibe of on uncle. So people calling you that makes sense. Sorry if I'm grammar is bad and stuff it's my second language >

[@Lycosa]

That housing type is familiar... it's like my home where I currently live. Basically it's a row of apartments, one building with multiple individual home doors. Solid walls separating the homes from each other. Row house, rivitalo. It seems like not that many people know/talk about them. It's always that (big) single house with one person or family. Or a multi-floor apartment building.

[@MasterCoulASMR]

Your life experiences remind me of mine. I'm in the suburbs of Long Island not far from New York City. The housing and lifestyle is identical to yours. I too was a timid, skinny kid even though I grew up in the 90s instead of the 70s lol I'll recall certain aspects from like 30 years ago but not every single thing. Also, I don't believe we have a WaWa in New York...I just remember going to one in New Jersey a few years ago

[@olskool7826]

Why do chicken coops only have two doors ? Because if they had four doors they’d be a chicken sedan 😂❤

[@McGuire40695]

Sedan is a normal car with 4 doors while a "2-seater car" would typically have 2 doors and be a Coupe.

[@thebluelibra5686]

Found this on google: ''To book it, which has been recorded since the 1970s, is an abbreviation of the older bookity-book, to run fast, to move quickly. This verb, which is echoic of the sound of shoes slapping on the ground, goes back at least to the 1930s.''

[@godman171]

Trying to relax but as soon as i hear Scranton Pennsylvania and my mind goes wild thinking of The Office

[@atticushelvig2030]

I could see this being a podcast on spotify

[@CirclesandSounds]

I was born the year of The Great Pizza Incident! 🤯😱

[@SideQuestASMR]

40:35 Great topic. Most of social media has gotten me so cynical to the point where I doubt most of these types of videos I see online. Some are more obviously fake than others of course but the lengths some people go to just in order to get a few fake internet points is insane.

[@ChevySS11]

Reminds me of when draw my life was a popular thing

[@ezradevore8727]

25:28 people still say book it, it’s okay

[@basicallybacon2593]

Hell yeah story time. :)

[@artie_2_shoes]

I read “the pizza incident” & was like gotta see this (I’m a real human being I promise, I’m not a robot)

[@WillowLiv]

Totally understand this story. I live in a pretty bad city, and I've been mugged 4 times by now, and harassed many more times than I can remember. I look fairly vulnerable and shy so I guess people take advantage of that. So totally understand how this sort of goes. Unfortunately this developed into agoraphobia for me and I cannot leave the house now.

[@niekumata8782]

Thank you for your videos ☺

[@YetAnotherWeebTrash]

I've got an interesting story in that same vein. So I live in Brazil. Robberies are an everyday occurence to us, and other brazilians will have terrifying stories to tell you that are nothing to be laughed about, but I've been lucky enough to only have this close call. I was 18-20 at the time, waiting with my friend for a bus at a bus stop beside a military installation. There was just us and a corporal keeping guard on his 3m high or so post across the street. We then spot 2 crackheads crossing the street and saying something to the corporal that I couldn't make out. As soon as he says it, the corporal leaves his post and disappears. We knew something was about to go down then. One of them approaches us while the other keeps a bit of a distance and says "heeeey buds, yall got any cash to lend for me to take the bus?", and we just go "Sorry bro, we're dry". He then discretly shows us his pocket knife and says very quietly "Well then, how bout u give me that phone". I stopped for a moment and thought "I ain't giving my phone to this lazy attempt at a robbery, that shit costs money", then I sighed audibly and said "Alright, how bout we close the deal on that bus fare then and we're all good?". He just grunted a little bit, took the 5 bucks I gave him and went on his merry way. Speech 100.

[@surthing6711]

why would the guard leave his post because of some crackhead?

[@YetAnotherWeebTrash]

@@surthing6711 He probably knew that crackhead always robbed people on that spot and would disappear whenever he gave his signal. And it probably isn't bc he had anything to gain either, it's just bc the military isn't responsible for policing civil society (unless called upon by the State), so he was there just to defend the installation and didn't want the hassle of civies crying about how he saw it and didn't do anything. That's how mafia works.

[@surthing6711]

@@YetAnotherWeebTrash what an ass

[@yeetdelete6667]

Mannn I'm hungry now

[@milo_thatch]

Hey rift! You’re gonna make me to hungry to sleep tonight

[@SouthernPsychopath]

I'm a simple man, Easy E uploads and I click, no more, no less.

[@maskedkiller6284]

Your voice is perfect for ASMR.

[@minimalistASMRFr]

I love the stories 😊

[@GottSmoke]

They were probably just baked liked the pizza lol

[@TonyJames1993]

We need a new pizza with Rift pronto

[@alaricgreil7677]

Facts

[@rey.jazzzzy]

in my community, 'the pizza incident' means something entirely different. if u know u know, but it's one of those things where ur better off NOT knowing 💀

[@captainclassic2740]

Oh Jesus 😭😭😭 I hate that I know

[@clayw8884]

I actually clicked on this thinking he was gonna be whispering about blfc pizza for relaxation purposes

[@danielschnitzer7044]

The Rift Pizza incident and the BLFC Pizza incident