The power of AUTHENTICITY (the word of the year)

[@unsolicitedadvice2800]

If you don't fit in, it's because you stand out, and that makes you OUTSTANDING.

[@websurfer5772]

😄

[@eirinstevenson7738]

Bars👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@lindagithaiga1974]

Dayyymmmnn 🔥🔥🔥

[@olgasampis9745]

That was me

[@sylviaelizabethclarecholic2073]

Powerful AND TRUE comment! ❤

[@sushmayen]

They fool people by doing nice things from time to time. But its just to look good and they're not authentic and our authenticity scares them

[@Queenme1-t3q]

This!!!!

[@ninjakitteh9095]

I have always hated the phrase "fake it til you make it".

[@kmoon50]

ME: I was BORN... with deep wiring of authenticity... It is precisely how i SURVIVED the abuse/gaslighting of Narcissism and Scapegoating in my family dynamic from birth. I survived.. because OF ... my authenticity... I thank god for being lucky enough to be born with this quality.. and yes, I lose people... all the time.... I am 73. I have learned to live with my authenticity... and be grateful and in peace with it.

[@allisonnovak500]

Narcissists are intimidated by, and jealous of authenticity. It’s an intangible force they don’t understand and can’t mimic.

[@kklock9057]

I sat in divorce court with my narcissistic ex just last Friday. She lied under oath about so many things - even things that she didn't need to lie about. It was obvious that she was lying, and she came across as mean and nasty, because she is. I was honest and calm. I guess maybe we were both being our authentic selves. For me, it felt good.

[@michignamymichigan]

Beautiful share. 🌼 Thanks. You are not alone. 🧡

[@delightfullydotty7130]

It felt good being in court? Surely you’d feel anxious being in court, not proud of how you were coming across?

[@Coolgirl1309]

My narcissistic friend's favorite word to describe me is authentic. And of course, since she can't be authentic, she's envious and jealous of me because she longs to possess that quality that I have and that she will never have. I don't hate her, I'm not even angry with her for all the pain she caused me, I feel pity for her :(

[@aynilaa]

I grew up with narcissists and even as a child, I didn't want to be like them. Everything was fake and superficial to get their needs met. I was yearning for authenticity, so I became that person.

[@youngblood8540]

A narcissist will hug you in public and then slap you in private.

[@Greenawareness188]

Yup

[@Play-All-The-Games]

I began exploring what it meant to be authentic to myself over the past 3 years or so. And boy did my narc hate it. She called me selfish, entitled, lazy, and so many other disparaging descriptors that (at the time) I took to heart. But the truth was always that I deserved to be myself, and I deserved someone who saw me for myself and respected it, not privately hoping that I would turn out some per-convieved way that they had planned.

[@cb9825]

I suspect now that narcs know about the word, they will boast about being "the most authentic person in the world"😂

[@dandoneral5405]

Words that come to mind while listening to this are as follows. "A good lie". "A good lie" is one that usually starts off with 'just enough truth' so as to be believable. In other words, 'minor elements of the truth'. After 'just enough truth', the remainder of "a good lie" takes advantage of a recipient's lack of careful attention while the speaker gives "one or more elements of the incorrect". Such incorrect statements are usually given in a self assertive, entertaining manner. Narcissists in the family that I came from would frequently bend the truth in such a way.

[@PhD1986]

This was very useful to me. I think of myself as authentic and I think I am in some ways but I often don't express myself for fear of being disliked. Telling me people disliked me was one of the ways my mother controlled me from an early age and when someone did indicate they liked me I didn't try to pursue a friendship because I couldn't believe anyone could truly like me. I'm going to work on this. Thank you.

[@anttipatomo5016]

We need opposition to recognize authenticity from fake, healthy from toxic, good from evil, truth from lies, etc. That is the way we grow. It's a painful path, but it leads to knowledge and eventually to wisdom.

[@renewed93]

I feel like God Himself is speaking to me through your comment. I love this.

[@MeMe-od2mg]

My authenticity turn me into the scapegoat and I'm taking it back!!!! ✊✊🏼✊🏾

[@moniquejackson7741]

So Brilliant. Use the word correctly and not to enable Narcissistic behavior. "Social Media and Narcissistic relationships are where authenticity go to die."

[@funwithAI10]

Being authentic in a narcissistic relationship is impossible if you want to be safe.

[@clairelane3642]

Depends on whether the narcissist is a violent psychopath or not. I've had both. I laid low with the criminal psychopath and got help to escape. He later murdered his final victims. Other narcissists, less criminal, I've been authentic with and broke off the relationship. Why put up with them. One thing for sure: This arrogant United States of America is RIFE with narcissists, criminal and non-criminal and they pretty much have destroyed the country. This from a 25-year political activist and domestic violence survivor and adult child of a narcissistic parent, and survivor of multiple employer abuse and narcissistic friendships. Narcissism is everywhere in this country.

[@dianet3994]

True. But doing it honestly makes a narcissist show their true colors. Then you GTFO of there. I'm grateful that my authenticity saved my life. 💝

[@SnarkyGoblin1234]

I think it's true to some extent, especially when you're financially dependent or have kids with a narcissist. But I think that being more authentic (it's always a spectrum) with the narcissist, might mean that they're losing their mental advantage over you.

[@sylviaelizabethclarecholic2073]

True! 💯

[@helenjeyadevia7373]

Rightly said 👍

[@TheBlondiekitten]

This is wonderful. Thank you. I was authentic about being hurt when my narcissistic mother betrayed me. Two years ago she gaslit me, insulted me, told me there was something wrong with me. Today, she tried to get back in touch for Christmas with passive aggression and I held her to account for the betrayal again, I told her I don’t like being betrayed. She tried to rewrite events, she told me I was wrong, she told me she didn’t betray me she was proud of me, I kept going with the betrayal and the things she said…. In the end what did she say…. “I’m sorry you feel that way”….then…. “I think you think I’ve hurt you too much”. I ended the conversation with the statement “you have hurt me too much”. My heart was racing but I did it. 🥰go me 🥰

[@SanamJanamian]

It almost made me cry reading your comment. I am sorry 😢 Moms are suppose to be the angels for their children.

[@aynilaa]

Go on!👏🏻💪🏻

[@Luisa-cs2pd]

I´m sorry for what you're going through. Good for you that you're speaking your truth. I wish my mother in law and I would´ve had a good relationship. I needed it. My own mother doesn't live and my father was on the other side of the Atlantic ocean (he doesn't live any longer). I was very vulnerable and accepted much. The wrong way, because I was very hurt by it. I was careful to not get into a discussions etc. Still my mother in law did and said a lot of things that were abusive. A lot of expectations on me too. I became a new mother too, we had two little children and all the pressure that comes with that. I honestly think this affected my husband and my relationship a lot. That things were very tense and I didn't know how to handle it and had no support. If I knew back then, what I know right now, I think things would´ve been different. We get a lot of support from our church (Catholic) by the sane doctrines and theology. I converted five years ago. Our priests (most of those I have met, but not all of them) are extremely knowledgeable regarding relationships etc within the family and offer a lot of help. There are so many virtues I am learning about and I actually realize I need/needed to learn and practice so that I could handle things better. Without hurting myself or my mother in law (or my husband) and instead, acting with my authenticity (with whatever virtue needed) - that I think would´ve made a big difference. I am sure I would´ve been able to protect myself (and my husbands and my relationship) better because of this (and not the least, because of prayers I would have prayed) and I am sure I would´ve gained respect. From them and self respect too. Instead I knew nothing about this, I was young, alone and extremely vulnerable and had no idea how to handle the attacks I got. Unfortunately my husband and I divorced and it has been such a tough roller coaster since then. Extremely tough. Only my church has helped me immensely, many years later.. but things have became better. With Gods grace. I have learned slowly but surely, more and more. I wish you the very best, keep learning and protecting yourself (and your closest family) and I am sure you'll all flourish. All the best ❤

[@Dethian666]

I'm tired of the Narcissistic pillaging and abuse authenticity

[@empath7766]

Narcissists target empaths... they know we are good people who give others the benefit of the doubt. They take advantage.

[@notagain779]

@empath7766, That's true. A former "friend" of mine used to say things like, "I know she isn't retaliatory. She's a decent type.".....and similar. Another one was, "If a friendship goes sour, you hope for a soft landing." Such odd things to say, I thought to myself. Those were the people she pursued for friendship, and I was one of them. When I finally wanted to leave the friendship, those things she used to say started to make sense to me. She knew I wouldn't make things nasty or hard. I just stopped being available, and without asking me why (she KNEW why!😂) she dropped off by herself, like a tick who is full and doesn't need to suck any more of your blood.

[@TienLam-t6b]

Agreed with Dr. R. 💐 that for anyone who "DECIDED" to be as much authenticcally as they can "afford" .. Remember that the price tags are VERY EXPENSIVE that no amounts of💰💰 can be exchanged for, including the DISCARDING of the old relationships of those whom had sold the Authentic individual's Souls for the cheapest 💰💰 for survival sakes of their cowardly, contentment and/or pathetic satisfaction being someone's else lapdogs..Period..

[@proyc95]

It’s like a sense of wholeness and peace with who you are at any point… seeing the “good, bad and all the shades in between” of one self. It’s like being in touch with yourself in today’s world, where everyone/everything is screaming for attention… but we get to decide what to pay attention to

[@Andguitar1784]

Thank you is all I can say from the bottom of my heart. This year has been unbelievably painful losing a close friend to cancer and then realizing my closest relationship (my sister) is a narcissist and my family are enabling her. Somehow I came across your videos and they have helped me understand all of my pain and anxiety and where it stems from and how to move on. I am doing therapy now too and no it is not easy but truly thank you for helping me find my true authentic self and even my husband said he's excited to see me find myself for the first time. Your videos give me the validation, comfort, and trust in what I am doing is right even though it's difficult it's what I need.

[@TheEnd-l8e]

I wish Good luck to you

[@nicholes3781]

It feels as though integrity is poison to a narcissist. I think it bores them and annoys them, in equal measure! 😂

[@VMorgenthaler-yp6yz]

You are so correct!

[@aynilaa]

They absolutely hate it. And they know they aren't authentic but just pretend to be.

[@nicholes3781]

@@aynilaa Well I guess they're not willing to be vulnerable, to enable their authenticity. I find it quite sad and ironic that, they see it as weak, though aren't willing to show the strength needed, to be themselves, as is. And I thought I was bad at adulting at times.. 😂

[@hannahgrace6088]

I'm a child abuse survivor with a narcissistic father, a silent step-mom, and a neglectful biological mother. I've been through hell and back to overcome these traumas, and recently I published my first book of poetry called Illuminate Me, which highlights the life of a survivor. I work for a child abuse prevention center, because I want to end the cycle of abuse. I used to want to make my dad proud of me, but anything that I do doesn't feel ENOUGH due to his approach towards me. I'm usually quite authentic because I believe in the power of intention, but it's hard because sometimes I fear failure. I am only 23, hopefully I won't be so scared when I decide to have my own family...

[@JubeiKibagamiFez]

6:52 It's like you read my mind.

[@julieharward5476]

Great content, as usual, Dr. Ramani! I once had a (what I believe to be) grandiose narcissist for a coworker, and she would frequently tell us “how” she was: kind, nurturing, motherly, giving, etc. My own observation was that she seemed sadistic, jealous, and cruel. One night, she was waxing eloquent about one of her many virtues, and another coworker chimed in about how *they* were. I couldn’t take it anymore and pointed out that I didn’t know “how” I was to others- only that I *tried* to be kind and a decent, ethical person, and I knew *why* I behaved how I did- but that didn’t mean that was how others perceived me. So even if I thought I was one way, that didn’t mean that others would agree, and simply declaring it didn’t make it so. That was just one of the many reasons this coworker hated me. Yeah, sorry not sorry 😅

[@dani.b4801]

Authenticity has been "my pathway to healing" forsure🖤 DrRamani has stayed relevant every step of my journey. Giving me all the tools to save myself years ago, and having stayed close to her vids, am still learning to get to the real me..

[@yourfutureancestor]

The timing of this video is perfect. Your knowledge has accompanied me throughout my healing journey from a former narcissist partner and in your channel I understood that my mother was also one. After embracing my authenticity last year I entered the discard phase and finally ended the relationship. The whole of 2023 was my journey of getting myself back together and I'm leaving it stronger and more authentic than ever. But being authentic is HARD! I never associated that as an antidote against narcissists, you've made my day! Thank you so much Dr!

[@lt827]

The Oxford dictionary word of the year for 2023 is ‘rizz’ short for charisma, another word that Dr Ramani uses frequently.

[@craigmerkey8518]

I have found that "authentic" people can self regulate and validation seeking is reduced. Growing up I realized no matter what choices I made they were not correct.... even if my choice matched someone who displayed NPD traits a mere 30 seconds ago. It was about them because they made it about them! Best wishes to you! My favorite part is the going away !

[@NicoleBarden-Writer]

You hit it on the bullseye, the moment we all want to be like everyone on KZbin is the moment we are no longer our authentic selves. So many people trying to be someone else instead of working on who they are and figuring out what makes them special. Imagine a world where everyone knew who they were and were able to see who others were. That would be such a better place because at least you would know what you were getting into.

[@KaarinaKimdaly]

@@NicoleBarden-Writer. Yes, imagine that. It is attainable through sincere practice of your religion, if you are given the gift of discernment of spirits, G-d willing. May you, at least, receive that. I associated myself 2012 circa in trying to learn meditation in the Himalayan tradition from an American born yogi, who has since dropped his body. He clearly had this ability. He had the ability to see to one's core, without being told anything; He could instantly discern. It was the fruit of long practice. It must be somewhat disappointing for the accomplished ones to attempt to help people to raise themselves spiritually to become authentic and to truly apply themselves assiduously to the sanatana dharma, to the Perennial Philosophy. Swami Veda Bharati was one of his associates, as well as Charles Bates,and others. The man I refer to, however , wrote a book about his life, entitled Walking w. a Himalayan Master, which was blurbed by Georg Feuerstein. His formal name was Swami Jai Dev, and perhaps still is. He began life with the name, Justin O'Brien. He started out as a Catholic monk. Some of his students have tried to have him be recognized as a saint in the context of Roman catholicism. So far as I know, he was a saint--he helped many many people and he exhibited, when appropriate, evidence of the siddhis. He certainly lacked hubris and egomania so far as I could discern. He lived a life of sacrifice in order to benefit humanity. Americanized 'yoga' is not true to the tradition, for yoga begins with ethics and the profit motive, branding of oneself for name and fame are contrary to yoga. Ethics are primary, in my opinion. I do not mean always adhering to the expectations of others. Trying times these.

[@sharonfuszard8861]

Being authentic can also be dangerous, depending on the type of narcissist you are dealing with. Your authenticity will, like everything else that makes you who you are, be weaponized by the narcissist. This is why it is imperative to be discerning as to whom you allow 'on board your ship.'

[@websurfer5772]

Heh. I'm into astrology and I was just telling myself a bit earlier that I need to be careful whom I allow into my 7th house - the House of Others (as opposed to Self - 1st house).

[@susanooalarichard]

This actually explains a lot about why I might not be running into people with these issues. It's that I am, but we're just not able to get along.

[@jotilochun80]

This is gold! I hate that I’m over 40 before learning this but I definitely feel at my best, heart led, at peace with my words and actions when being authentic. Making it ok to honour the self is a definite welcome buzz word and follows so nicely on from toxic and gaslighting. Anything I can do to ensure that I don’t become narcissistic. Really appreciate this ❤

[@JC-bu6vl]

Thank you, Dr. Ramini for bringing up this new Hollywood obsession with being "Authentic". It was leaving me very confused. So glad you explained very well what the Authentic self is and isn't.

[@breakfastclub75]

Hi, I think I realized a long time ago that I WANT to be authentic. And in the few days of watching these videos, I feel seen, I feel heard, and I’m okay being myself. He doesn’t have to like it. It’s not me, it’s always been him. It’s funny, you made a comment about living in reality, and I’ve been in lots of arguments where I’ve yelled, I’m CHOOSING TO LIVE IN REALITY AND IM SORRY YOU CANT DO THAT. Obviously I know I shouldn’t engage, but I feel like saying it out loud helps me. It’s been my whole damn life I’ve been hiding, was the family scapegoat, tried to make them like me, but I’m done. I can’t leave unfortunately bc my health is bad and the resources in my city really aren’t much, but it’s a start. Im done people pleasing, I’m speaking my mind and idc if nobody likes me. Thank you, Dr. Ramani. I’ve even been posting your stuff on instagram. Gets no likes or clicks, 😂 but I really don’t gaf. Thank you for being you. 💚

[@vickit3124]

Love you Dr Ramani. You’ve saved my sanity in 2024. I’m now out and healing. Thank you, thank you 🙏

[@kathleenwharton2139]

Authenticity..such a Great Word! After being under control of a Narc for 32 years! Be Kind But TRUE. 😊❤

[@Xr2-8fan_810]

I think this is good news and a good change from the gas lighting term trending one year and then authenticity is trending because of the narcissism recovery curriculum (here at KZbin). Thank you Dr ramani, I'm here daily with my pen and journal. Thank you for so much healing, education and help.

[@SanamJanamian]

Authenticity is a percentage. I don’t think people are either fully authentic or not. It’s not black and white thing. When I was listening to Dr. Rameni list of what makes a person authentic I thought I had most of it but sometimes I get defensive when criticized 😅 I have been told by people I am an authentic person, and my answer is I try. Authenticity takes effort

[@websurfer5772]

I think we're authentically feeling defensive when we're being unfairly criticized.

[@ggbpartystarter5958]

Authenticity played a crucial role, it beats appearances

[@dayamitrasaraswati6276]

Thank you for this video. I know where my people pleasing began and now I am working on my authenticity. I bent to the will of others for 61 of my 62 years. I'm over it! Time to get to know who I truly am now. I am getting there.

[@Greenawareness188]

Hooray!

[@ferngoodman9163]

Beautifully said. My take is if we can all become authentic narcissism will " die out" firstly because parents will be healthier hence less narcissistic children and with no " supply" narcs cannot not survive. This is the reason i am striving to become more and more authentic everyday. I want to put an " end to" as well as to combat narcissism. The problem with this world is " fake" is applauded and " real" is not. It's up to each and every one of us to do our work to change this. Start by tuning into and trusting your gut more. You will start spotting the " fakes" everywhere. Don't support them just to " fit in". Stand in your truth and you will give others the courage to stand in theirs too.

[@erinward2983]

Narcissistic authenticity= "Just so you know, I'm not being rude when I interrupt you. It's just sometimes if I don't say it right when I think of it, I'll forget, and that frustrates me more 'n just about anything. God, that makes me mad!! And it's always important." ...I got interrupted a lot. From grade school on, I had such extreme anxiety about speaking in from of the class. I refused to do presentations and usually voted "most shy." I said very little and people often commented about how shy/quiet I had no confidence or self-esteem. Every good, joyful thing that happened at my mom's was criticized and I believed what my father said. I didn't have a safe place to learn who I was. I was gaslighted if I said I had a good time w/ my mom. I believed she was dishonest, and unauthentic. Even my memories are distorted. But what bothers me most is before I knew the truth about father is: If asked to describe my own qualities, values, beliefs...all of it would have been centered around who I was for him and who I was because I had him as a role model. That's a disgusting thought and reality.

[@michelleharkness7549]

In Thanksgiving: { USA 🇺🇸} : btw: Media Technical Support People and Staff @ Doctor Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D.: ( Presentation: Awareness- Mental Health- information ℹ️ Fabulous) : btw: thank you 😊: again: thank you 😊

[@matthewwozniak9138]

There's a great divide between constructive criticism and insults. I'm rubber and your glue. All that B.S. gonna bounce off of me and stick on you.

[@perseph1]

My mom and grandmother (oddly enough, my dad's mom) were the most authentic people I've ever known. They saw and encouraged me. But they didn't know we were swimming in a sea of narcissism, both within the family and out in the world. Mom just taught me to accept that most people aren't capable of perspectival thinking, so it was up to us to bring them along. She saw how women had to fashion themselves in the world so as not to displease the men and knew our expectations had to be different. She gave me permission to explore them. Without her authenticity and trust in mine, I would never have survived the abuse I've received from the narcs.

[@jamie9364]

My favorite video from you so far. I know that is subjective, depending on where we are in life and when we are willing or able to hear a message. This hit home. Thank you,

[@Mikelk71]

Thank you again another amazing video that nails everything. My road to a deeper authenticity was through a narcissistic relationship. Through the abuse I was able to find my true voice and what was authentically me and what was authentically her. And now I turn away and move forward with my life healing, growing and expanding and showing up as exactly who I am. Thank you.

[@tlove6932]

🎉🎉🎉👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼Yay!!!❤️❤️❤️💥💥💥 Last year the word was "Gaslighting"🔥🔥🔥Which helped SO many people identify unhealthy, toxic relationships better. This year it is "Authenticity", another stellar word that is also SO positive, creative & fun for everyone to discover what THEIR Unique qualities are!!! 🎉Yay for everyone!!! Thank You Dr. Ramani!!! 🎉🎉🎉🥇🥇🥇❤️❤️❤️🤗🤗🤗©️

[@dynamic9560]

Dang what a great video!! So important and you describe authenticity so authentically 😁

[@websurfer5772]

😄 Yeah!

[@ea1112]

That's brilliant, I can identify with all of it, brings clarity. Thank you.

[@mikejarrells431]

Wow. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. Authenticity is my goal. Don't settle. Break the cycle. Rebel. Let's go!

[@chosennotforsaken]

Thank you Dr. Ramani ❤

[@tihanaharrison6728]

“Social media is where authenticity goes to die!” 👏👏👏 Bravissima, Dr Ramani! Thank you for this excellent and very timely video❤️❤️🥰 Please could you make a video on how to find yourself again and our purpose after we had to bury it so deep and in the graveyard of our dreams that we forgot where it is?

[@dedantisocial3315]

I started watching your videos at an extremely pivotal point in my life and they saved my life. Thank you.

[@KatKool-m5m]

Your not alone

[@BestSellers2122]

Wow, you got me thinking. While I guard myself with all the narcissists in my life, the only one that I truly hide the real me from is my Mom. I wonder why I do that with her and not the others…. I’ll have to think about that some more….

[@terrismith4019]

Wow. Me, too…until this last year. I’ve now spoken my truth to my brutally narcissistic mother about who I authentically am, and have done so in the context of “This is what you’ve either ignored, paid no attention to or have never cared to know - about me.” It’s the only time I’ve gently, yet forcefully, told her to just sit there and be quiet or I would leave without another word…and it’s the only time she’s actually done so. When I was finished, I walked out the door, and other than some small essentials of dealing with a widowed, 85 year old mother, I do not call or interact. I feel freer than I have in my entire lifetime, without no guilt, shame or regret for standing up for who I am.

[@ghassanebentahar5695]

Authenticity: Truth and Consistency.

[@janorr1111]

Thanks!

[@DoctorRamani]

Thank you so much for your generous support! Hope all is well!

[@brendanhoffmann8402]

I'm loving the word Authenticity. I've been reading Dr. Gabor Mate's book, the myth of normal. My Dad had BPD growing up which caused me to have a lot of identity issues and trouble finding my authentic self. But after 20 years of therapy I feel like I'm finally getting there. Finding out that my Dad has BPD has created a huge wave of healing in the last few days. He's in his 70s so I wonder what my life would have been like if he'd been diagnosed when I was a kid.

[@MichaelBroder]

My ex said he would have stayed married to me “forever” for the sake of “appearance,” even though he was, in his own words, “miserable in this relationship.”

[@darcyroyce]

Thank you!

[@kriswinters4225]

"You had to be what somebody else wanted you to be in order to survive." That is painfully True. Even when I was aware that was what I was doing, in hopes of making it out physically alive so that one day I could live as ME and stop shoving my actual self into a psychological prison just to keep myself from being constantly ripped apart by the narcs running the house I grew up in, the knowing did NOT make it easier. I cried my eyes out when I saw Man in the Iron Mask for the first time because seeing the metal face cage the protagonist is forced to wear his whole life was the first time I could put a picture to what my birth family had done, was still doing, and would always do to me. It was sad to see it, but it was also liberating and affirming because I felt the world was seeing proof now that underneath that awful mask he was forced to live in there was an actual person - a whole and living and breathing person with thoughts, beliefs, feelings, character, and self that existed with or without that prison keeping him hidden. When the NPD King tells the prisoner "Wear It Until You Love It", I saw and heard my mother, and I still do.

[@websurfer5772]

Whoa. You are such a profound thinker! Thanks for this comment. 🎭

[@kriswinters4225]

@@websurfer5772 lol, perfect emoji, ty

[@magorzatasanchez736]

Thank you Dr. Ramani. Dear reader, if you’re reading this comment and are a Catholic considering going to confession this Advent season, please consider this very talk on authenticity as a form of an examination of conscience. Say a prayer for all of us healing, those we need to pray for, & of course wonderful Dr. Ramani

[@clairelane3642]

Catholics need to stay OUT of American women's reproductive choices. Hardly an AUTHENTIC religion, just another patriarchal old boys club that has done great harm to humanity.

[@crazyredheadbeyotch8125]

It IS difficult to achieve authenticity when having a narcissistic mother!! I believe that nothing but the grace of God saw me through my childhood, and because in my soul I genuinely wanted to be UNLIKE the toxic people around me, I was blessed with the ability to somehow hold onto my core beliefs, even if only kept to myself and never spoken or acknowledged- and given grace enough and enough resilience to build upon, to have ways to cope and handle it. I think many can relate...we have a spark of hope deep inside that is the very thing that keeps us going and being able to move forward. Don't know where I'd be... Don't know where a lot of folks I know would be. God knows how deserving so many of these people are of peace of mind and contentment, given the immense suffering they've experienced. "For what is a man to profit if he gains the world, but loses his soul?" -Mark 8:36, KJV We don't want to find out, because if it's ANYTHING like the hell we've all experienced HERE, then that's gonna hafta be a hard "pass". Brightest blessings and much love. Thank you, Dr. Ramani! ❤

[@cb9825]

Same experience. Do you still talk to your mother? I have to due to societal expectations. But I do it as rarely as I possibly can. Though I think she might live to 100 years just out of sheer spite 😂

[@TheBlondiekitten]

That’s wonderful. Well done. I’m low contact and if I need to help, I’ll do so from a text message. My niece and nephew get on with my narcissistic mother and they seem willing to help. I’m not bothered any more and I don’t care what people say. I know the truth of her constant betrayals and her lies. Not helping an abusive parent is not a societal expectation. Honour the mother who honoured her position as a mother. 🥰🤗

[@jamie9364]

@@TheBlondiekitten I needed to be reminded of this. Others may have a relationship with our abuser but we know the truth of our experience. I struggle with that and scared, that I will be viewed as evil for going no contact because that is not their experience.I feel less alone when I read shared expirences like this. Thank you for sharing yours.

[@dylanm8615]

This is legitimately the word of my year. Every birthday I have I have a word that I live up to. Last year was control, and this year, 17 years old, is Authenticity. Simply hoaning in on embracing my identity has lost me my girlfriend, plenty of friendships, and the respect of my band director. This year, I've taken the most emotional hits than ever in my life , but it was in an effort to feel fully comfortable in my skin. At the moment, I'm far closer to my family, my best friend, and people that matter more in my life. At first I didn't entirely know what to make of it, but after watching this video, I know I'm not alone

[@drakedrones]

Dr Ramini, I try my best to be authentic, but all my experiences with horrible people have made me snarky and reactive. I have literally lost all my joy, hope and positivity. I don’t want to victimize myself, but I have literally no joy left in me. I don’t want to harm anyone, but I have no energy for anything in life

[@LuzDoSol-yr5bv]

Thanks, Dr Ramani. That was my Christmas gift. ❤

[@peacelandhaven]

Thank you for sharing this wisdom. It's so easy to lose yourself in the chaos of life, but coming back to our true selves is the most rewarding journey. 💖

[@MichaelSkinner-e9j]

A real relationship allows you to breathe and be yourself. I taught this to my niece a long time ago before she was a teenager, hoping she would avoid the pitfalls her mother and my other siblings went through. It is also one of the reasons I wait. I want to be as good a friend to the other person as I can, while allowing them to breathe and just be. I always told her, don’t go with what is pretty or handsome. Go with what is consistent, and allows you to breathe and just be. So many people have a hard time being with someone because they feel they are constantly under threat or picked on, instead of being a team or true friendship. True authenticity is not only allowing the other person to be vulnerable without holding it over their head, but also being honest with them. That has to be done in private (obviously) but it also means not publicizing their vulnerabilities. -like your other videos point out, narcissists only seek to learn your vulnerabilities so they can exploit them and humiliate you

[@talposdorin8266]

You write again madamme.🙏Halelujah and amin loves you verry much🤶.Begin to write the Blue Book.its verry easy😁

[@TheEnd-l8e]

Great video.

[@denisedevoto5703]

Living my most authentic life is a huge stress relief. I have been doing it for the last 5 years since I left my ex and my family of origin. I am still working on the stress levels in my body, but I can tell I am not as stressed as I was before. I can finally be my true self.

[@p.w.352]

Before I knew about narcissism and it's cycle I thought a narcissistic family member had changed and let my guard down. I thought I could finally be myself. It was me speaking my mind that set off the narcissistic meltdown that made me realize that they hadn't changed and never would. I went no contact after that. Fortunately for me, my daughter knew about Dr. Ramani and sent me a link to this channel. From the bottom of my heart, thank you, Dr. Ramani for these videos. They gave given me tools for healing, validation when enablers defend the narcissist, and strength to stand up for myself and set boundaries.

[@SandraMuller-vs8ck]

Thank you very much for these beautiful words of wisdom on Authenticity. This should always be the core values to the existence of all humanity. I think this world will be a better place. God bless you.❤

[@brookea518]

This is quite a challenge when other people can control your finances, social environment, and familial community. Stay strong! ❤

[@claudiabannister6414]

thank you

[@mirandamatic5056]

i know....this is why i really hope to see more videos about what to do in those situations...no contact, grey rock....and all the other usual suggestions just don't work in these situations...i mean i know who am i dealing with and i know it would be best to leave....but there are very practical reasons why that is not possible....so what to do then?

[@funwithAI10]

Her every video is so good, but I think this one was the best.

[@annarosaparker]

How wonderfully powerful - thank you for this! Authenticity speaks volumes.

[@coreyrenik6419]

Thank you so much for the message. It has validated my journey!

[@clairejones624]

This is one of my favourite videos you filmed.

[@youngblood8540]

What they say about you and the things they do behind your back, is the real test of authenticity.

[@Greenawareness188]

@youngblood8540 , True ,It takes guts to face their nonsense . Narcissists work hard to break you down.

[@tawanawilliams6296]

This was everything. My life

[@davegayaldo]

this is such a wonderful person here

[@MichaelSkinner-e9j]

I agree wholeheartedly. Never fake it till you make it. You are Spot- On!👍

[@cdjcdj4929]

Authenticity actually scares most narcissists, specifically if you call them out in front of others (in the Work setting). I’ve never been in a narcissistic partner relationship, but people at my work made me google their behaviors and I ended comprehending what a narcissist is. I learned how to call them out in front of my other coworkers by also telling them to get off my back. I’m also a loner. I am respected by many and whoever doesn’t treat me with respect, won’t want to deal with me because I’m brave enough to stand alone and also speak my truth without disrespecting others…not even the narcissist.

[@Sam-pl3yd]

Yes Dr Ramani 💕it about being true to yourself and I spoke my truth and healing ❤️‍🩹 🙏

[@zmeebojazz8774]

Dropped Basquiat’s Name kudos Dr. Ramani😊

[@melodysanquist4834]

We can study narcissism for years and still be exploited by them. How? Their enablers who appear to us to be normal and trustworthy, all while they walk the narcissist right through our front door of our homes and give them access to our lives. An enabler is the part of a narcissist that flies under the radar. I’ve spent years studying narcissism but what good does it do when I’m being robbed by a narcissist who is under the protection of an enabler. I wouldn’t have been exploited if I could have recognized the enabler before it was too late.

[@LorettaLong-pr3wg]

I just adore you Dr. Ramani. I enjoy the humor that you pepper into your presentations. You crack me up! 😄

[@janorr1111]

Great Show!

[@Sofia.K.CheerYT]

I feel complimented, thank you Doctor Ramani ❤

[@whisped8145]

I grew up in a Socialist country. Inauthenticity is the best word to describe it. And to this day it's advocates overlap with Narcissism and the worse things in that Cluster. A bunch of pretentious, often malicious, children, no matter many decades their bodies have been on this Earth. It might be true for any cult. It's Leaders, its main agents. The rest are good people who really fell for it and will then do bad things for the group, the cause, whatever, believing it's good.

[@franciscoacosta1667]

Which country are you from?

[@annejohnston7296]

This was an amazing light bulb video for me Dr. Ramani.....I have a lot of work to do and I have to start with my children. THANK YOU

[@websurfer5772]

Dr. Ramani, thank you for clearing up what authenticity is and what it isn't. It was getting confusing.

[@DerAua]

One of the best videos on the channel.

[@clericoflight476]

Authenticity has kind of a funny association with me these days. When I filed for divorce from my covert narcissist husband, he just was starting up his smear campaign. One of the last things I said to him was that I was sad to see him spreading lies, and surrounding himself with people who actually encourage him to lie in court. Meanwhile my family and friends empowered me to be truthful. I told him he would never live authentically by doing that and he told me to "get fucked." It showed me that I was making the right decision by divorcing him!

[@sittingstill3578]

Authenticity was a big trend in restaurants in the late 80s and early 90s. A lot of the places that claimed it turned out to be false. I had a pastor that really emphasized the importance of authenticity as the antidote for getting deceived. It served me well through my dealings with narcissists and kept me from falling into their ways. I could see what the narcissists were immediately but I didn’t have the label narcissist yet. I think the label of narcissist is at best a temporary designation for a much deeper problem that psychology can never solve.

[@angelabrown5748]

I've experienced being shamed for being authentic, boringly myself when "Cool is all around me" and this is published BTW as a magazine contributor, I stand steadfast, unstirring to those who need an illusion. It's kinda lonely here, but I do have my close friends for decades I can turn to who know me and appreciate me. For them, I'm grateful because I would have lost myself without those who believe in me as a friend. This video brought back a flood of sad memories and self-esteem issues trying to maintain authenticity in toxic relationships and work environments, yet I am so happy to have heard it because I feel a little more validated today than I did yesterday and everything helps as I continually try to rebuild my self-esteem :)

[@benjaminbleacheriii1724]

The circle is getting smaller, that community is now being found within these videos. Authenticity is a beautiful gift. Please don't SELL your self short #weloveyouall #thankyouall and Romney yes it's TIME😉😉😉 have a Beautiful Day