The Power of No: How to Hold Healthy Boundaries

[@333_Tarot]

Not caring what other ppl think =actual boundaries 🌹

[@George-Thompson]

Thanks for highlighting this important point! With peace and gratitude

[@StrawberryTofu]

Literally just using "I feel such and such way" instead of saying "you've done this" or "you've made me feel" has been the most useful piece of non violent communication in my personal life. Always and forever great advice from George!

[@George-Thompson]

Thank you for your kind words! I'm glad you found it impactful! With warmth

[@ergovivamus1]

'Accept the Feeling, Chose the Action' (mostly do the opposite of what your mind is instructing you to do)

[@Incantationem]

As far as you're able, don't be in situations of power imbalance, because that's where people's dark and immature sides come up, even if those same people seem okay otherwise. Be yourself, speak your mind, be alert, have your own space, and don't fall for tricks. With some folks, it may be necessary to keep written conversation only, so they can't manipulate and avoid accountability.

[@George-Thompson]

Being true to yourself, staying alert, and ensuring clear, documented communication can help maintain fairness and accountability. Thanks for sharing this insightful advice! With warmth

[@yourportlandlifestyle2907]

slowing the breath down works really well. Breath rate impacts emotions

[@TheTenof12]

THANK YOU, George. Now seemingly more than ever in or lifetime, reminders like these are paramount for sanity & society x

[@George-Thompson]

You're very welcome! I'm so glad you found it valuable. With warmth

[@nickochioneantony9288]

Seems simple, but these tips are most helpful to explore... I personally have to deal with a narcissistic father who is borderline abusive. At one time, he offered me to kill him in an argument just because I complained about a misplaced key that he used carelessly. And just recently threaten to kill me because I interfered him when he argued with my mother. I sensed something was off with his emphathy and mental state when I was 10yo, and now I am 27yo, still living with him, by no means he has the will to even 'kill' anyone. (at least, even if that was disturbing to hear) I never resort to violence with my family, and at the very least try to solve it with communication. But in these past years, I really can't help with my father narcissistic side, every conversation turned into scapegoating, every problem will never be solved because somehow he will relate any problem to my past to point out my flaws. In the end (now), I guess I understand this concept of 'yield', I am not avoiding any contact with my father, but try my best to not engage with anything that has to do with him. It feels awful, because letting go in the context of Family is very complicated, unless by completely cutting ties, which is very uncommon in my Asian culture. (unless a serious crime is involved)

[@amomentinnature]

Have you heard the expression "a bucket of crabs"? Fishermen know that they don't need to put a lid on a bucket of crabs because as soon as one tries to climb out, the others pull it back in. It is difficult to untangle from these close family ties but leaving and going no contact is so liberating (it took four attempts for me but I am finally out of there guilt free). The really big knots aren't the social conditioning or cultural expectations of filial piety etc. The only thing really holding you back are those inner voices/thoughts inside us that keeps us stuck in the same pattern the minute we try to get away. The feelings of guilt, the feeling of failure that it didn't work out..."what if there was just some way to fix them or to make it better. If they only understood their condition better, then they would see themselves as clearly as I do". This is the inner gaslighter, feeding false beliefs about what you can and cannot do, robbing you of sovereignty over your decision making. All of these thoughts/long held beliefs are the true bucket of crabs that will keep you trapped. Or tied down like the proverbial baby elephant that grows up tied to a tiny peg it no longer fights against as an adult but could now easily rip out if it did. Reading up on codependency might help you to notice more traits and characteristics of the dynamics you are in. But ultimately it is your choice and free will at play. Those gaslighting thoughts and trauma bonded emotions are powerful forces that stop us from detaching and gaining back our clarity but you are much more powerful. Be present with them, nurture them like you would an injured child. Read up on IFS therapy (No Bad Parts is a great place to start) and recover your sense of Self. It is scary but there are also moments of serenity that you can only imagine on the other side from where you are today. Focus on what it means to truly individuate and become your own person. Ironically, that will be the most selfless act as it paves a path for others to follow. It gives them permission to step out of victim roles and become leaders of their own minds. You are not your thoughts or your feelings but the observer, the awareness of them. You get to decide which of those thoughts you listen to or not. No excuses (not choosing is also a choice). It's possible to leave with wholehearted love for everyone involved. Staying true to this feeling of deep love and pure intentions within, then neither their judgements or your own attachments to secondary gains will be enough to pull you off track. You know that what you are doing is pure hearted and for the best and that is what matters most. Much love to you

[@nickochioneantony9288]

@@amomentinnature I wholeheartedly thank you for your kind words and insights. I really appreciate the help you offered through all those wisdom & psychological approach. I'll definitely read up your suggestions on the matter. My situation might be unique to myself, but I guess we can all agree that living with genuine love, carefree, and with pure intentions is how we truly want ourselves to be in. Anyway, have a good day Ma'am / Sir, may you keep finding happiness on your path of life.

[@amomentinnature]

Thank you for your kind reply and for being receptive to what I had to share. In terms of yielding / surrendering to what is, you might also enjoy the teachings of Louise Kay. She has lots of meditations on KZbin related to the acceptance of what is. Happiness is always here, it's just whether we choose to be aware of it or not :) Much Love

[@George-Thompson]

I'm truly sorry to hear about your struggles with your father. It's commendable that you’ve chosen communication over conflict and found ways to protect your peace. Take care and stay strong. With warmth and peace

[@ChasingBarrels]

Great advice George. Bags of wisdom here. Big fan of non violent communication.

[@George-Thompson]

Thank you so much! I'm glad you find it helpful. It's great to hear from fans who appreciate its impact. With gratitude and peace

[@friedvoll_Sein]

Yeah! 🙂 Thank you! Have been bullied too at school and it was hard to overcome it, but I grew stronger inside from this experience.

[@PeachesCourage]

Me too I think of my family though sometimes and remember my son when little and my families children They don't pit themselves against one another like usually adult life does around the world They are to busy living and learning from themselves about life and their feelings about all of this? When I'm trying to make to an appointment on time which will entail doing something a certain way and the shame of not doing what we believe is life? I say to myself Oh dear God and cry because I am remembering the little ones Who know how to live if you don't hurt them and make them not trust life My Son finally taught me how to let go of everything and compared to living as an adult in a narcissistic life it was heaven I still cry remembering him as a little man Take care the Bullies only want to trust and feel they can't trust others I've heard they pick on you because they mirror that you are Them as a little child being bullied by their parents Or that you might understand and be gentle with them eventually Narcissists don't trust people usually from their parents The Tao being so ancient does agree with current science that religion has done this to us over and over again down thru history pitting us against life and one another a God making us Guilty which is only fear of life sorry this is so long?

[@George-Thompson]

Thank you for sharing your experience. It takes a lot of strength to overcome bullying, and it’s inspiring to hear that you grew stronger from it. Remember, resilience is a sign of true inner power. Keep shining and stay strong! Much warmth

[@George-Thompson]

Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt reflection. Navigating the complexities of adult life can be tough, but holding onto those lessons from the little ones can be a source of strength and clarity. Stay gentle with yourself and others. Take care. Much warmth

[@friedvoll_Sein]

@@George-Thompson 🙏 Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to the comments, it warms my heart. And happy summer solstice! ☀ Shine on, beautiful soul! 🌻

[@wushigung]

6th grade big guy picked on me all the time. In gym class we played dodge ball and I tagged him out every time. He got mad and slammed me to the floor at the end of class. I waited behind a door and when I saw him I pounced and kept out of his reach. The teacher came in and stopped the fight. She tried to embarrass us and had us face off and hit each other. Little tap on the shoulder back and forth. The teacher said with a change of tone to indicate this was the last hit... I had to reach up head and shoulder above and smacked him in the jaw.... passed out and nurse brought smelling salts. He never confronted me again!

Thank you! Very great advice! ☀️🙏

[@George-Thompson]

I'm glad you found it valuable. It's wonderful to have you here! With gratitude🙏

[@sativasounds]

Brilliant ❤

[@George-Thompson]

Thank you so much! Such a joy to be moving with you!

[@mellisafan4470]

Ahhh that last one! So important for me that I don't think a lot of other religions cover. How do you evolve and become a better version of yourself if you dont honour who you are here and now first? Obviously your actions should still be within reason and the nature of things but sometimes you just also need to do what you feel would protect you in that specific situation. Some bullies I yielded to. Others I had to retaliate because commincation and asking for support did not help. It isn't always about yielding. If its not someone malicious then I find calm communication to help a lot too.

[@Mgh-r]

Hi dear Georgey ❤❤❤❤❤❤ how are you ❤❤❤❤❤❤ thank youuuuuu so much ❤❤❤❤❤

[@George-Thompson]

Hi there! I'm doing well, thank you! Your enthusiasm is contagious! I’m so glad to hear from you. Thanks for your support and positive vibes. It means a lot! With warmth and gratitude,

[@PeachesCourage]

I am the eldest of 6 children and have Nieces and Nephews and my Son who taught me usually at the age of 2-4 what life is* They don't pit themselves against one another to Win something and shame on you if you don't They ask you who you are? They pierce your very soul when you are running away from yourself into the horse race and shame of not getting there* I've said to myself "Oh dear God and cry remembering them Not because they were an ideal but because they knew how to live Not pitted to succeed against one another just playing and learning about life When you win in this life you lose you know the Tao has a deep soul Many thanks for being with us great!

[@George-Thompson]

Thank you for sharing such touching reflection. Many thanks for your heartfelt words and for being part of this journey with us. With warmth

[@jameslucop4503]

This really reminds me to yield and conserve my energy. I am the willow tree, not the oak ❤

[@George-Thompson]

I'm glad this resonated with you.

[@zickityz6549]

Good video buddy

[@George-Thompson]

Thanks so much. Glad you liked it! Appreciate you being here

[@MrBboyle1]

Sometimes you just need to remove them from your life

[@George-Thompson]

Protecting your peace is crucial. Take care and stay strong! With warmth and peace

[@TheGIGACapitalist]

Wasn't there supposed to be a link to the NVC book in the description? I can't find one

[@OneaeBlack]

Had ton of bully type boy in my life never learned how to be functional efficient supportive grown ass men just sad pathetic behavior rooted in inexperience scared confused when dumb angry men only want to bring tear down people around them to feel better about themselves except that is terrible competition makes no sense in the realm of survival if the fittest to start fight stress against people, truly art of peace gentle words team loving kindness is simple joyful magical.

[@George-Thompson]

I'm sorry to hear about your experiences with bullying. It's truly sad when people feel the need to tear others down. Embracing the art of peace, gentle words, and loving kindness can indeed create a magical and joyful life. Supporting each other and working as a team leads to a more fulfilling and harmonious existence. Stay strong and continue to spread positivity and kindness. Sending warmth and gratitude!

[@OneaeBlack]

@@George-Thompson Master George Thomson Certified Proven Coolest Courage Sexiest Man Alive On Whole Good Earth.

[@gabrieldapare]

🙌🔥

[@George-Thompson]

Appreciate your comment! Much warmth

[@bkbroiler8069]

First realize that the anger and frustration you feel is comming from inside you.

[@George-Thompson]

Appreciate your beautiful insight! Thank you for your comment!