The Problem with Love Languages - Three-Minute Thursdays #3

[@solomondavidson4973]

Dear Tim. Thank you. I have read the Love languages book and it was very helpful to me in understanding a difficult relationship, but that is another story. However your talk here reminded me of how I lived 40 years ago before I gave my life to follow Jesus. In those days I had a girlfriend who read her horoscopes every week. And from what she read and told me I could easily figure out what she wanted and expected out of life. I knew what her favourite magazine was for her horoscopes so I used to go to the local store and read her horoscope every week so I knew what she was expecting out of life even before she read them. In that way I found out what she wanted and what she was expecting, and I could do the things that made her horoscopes come true and keep her very happy, and she did not realise that I was manipulating her future to match her horoscope. So if her horoscope said to expect a wonderful opportunity that week, I would present her with an opportunity that week, etc etc, (though it was 40 years ago so it is hard to remember the exact details of all the evil I did in those days). But by the Lord's grace, those days are over, but I learned the danger of horoscopes and how they can be used to manipulate people in the same way that Love Languages can be used to manipulate people too if they are used improperly. Thank you again. In Jesus. Michael Walsh

[@Kiffaanngissuseq]

The way I understood "love languages" when I first heard the term had nothing to do with how I want to be loved but with how I show love to other people. Everyone has their own way to this that feels natural to them and in understanding how another person expresses their love will help me to realize that they show me love. Because I understood it this way I never had any negative associations with that term.

[@Arkaaraq]

Taannaqa oqarpoq

[@uditarathi6472]

Gary Chapman clarifies the first issue in his book 'love as a way of life'. About the second issue that is exactly the point of the book. The love language is to minister to others and not seek for self.

[@theresatrishastewart9826]

Awesome. The Truth will set us Free, and this Truth absolutely broke the chains ! of this heresy spoken over me by my own family, telling me in order for my husband to stop SEVERELY ABUSING me, I must learn his Love Language ?? God is Love and His Word is the only language I ever want to speak over the horrors this life can present, and endure. I was tired of having so much unforgiveness towards my cousin for her shallow and clueless words; this short video is so insightful, and liberating !

[@jopwillsonhaiong2607]

I love this video especially when you turn to Jesus Christ great wisdom Thank you brother Tim Challies for pointing to Christ.

[@tamaraanderson5717]

Dude the big point you are so obviously proud of is the exact point of the book .

[@minaibrahim1252]

Love languages are perfectly okay, and not at all unbiblical or wrong. It is not a sin, or selfish, to politely ask to be loved in a specific way. There is still nothing wrong with communicating your needs to your spouse. If your spouse is not loving you the way you want to be loved there is nothing wrong with nicely telling them what you need. Yes, you can be loved in a variety of ways, but each person still feels loved in a specific way. For example, if you feel loved by quality time, but your spouse is giving you gifts, then you have a right to politely ask your spouse for what you want. There is nothing wrong with that. Also, not all desires are inherently bad. For example, if you just want a hug from someone, or want emotional support, those things are perfectly fine.

[@jackjones3657]

Your warning about not letting the "Love languages" become a selfish needs based element in relationships is very well stated. 'Jesus spoke in the language we needed, not necessarily the one we wanted.'

[@JL-qo7cs]

Good one. It's good to see another way of looking at this. I like the way you finished this by pointing out the way Jesus did it. Thanks

[@missionpossible6796]

Amen! spot on! Jesus didn't wait for any type of love language from me but loved me while I was a sinner and He commands husbands to love their wives in the same way (read Ephesians) I can't and won't wait for my wife to get with the programme b4 I'll obey God's command to love!

[@CarloL525]

Absolutely helpful. Thanks!!!!!

[@fishincognito]

Point #1 in my opinion has nothing to do with love languages. People who are “loving” that way (for something in return) just don’t understand true love at all. It doesn’t matter whether they use love languages as a source for ideas of ways to show affection or not... if that is your mindset you’re confused, but it’s not the fault of love languages. They aren’t meant to be a theological statement they’re just meant to give you a better understanding of your relationships and help you relate to others more intentionally

[@EpicurusWasRight]

Thank you for speaking on this. I’m surprised many of the comments adamantly defend the author and the hypotheses in the book. To me it seems that your video suggests that the love languages are often misunderstood or utilized for the wrong reasons for selfish gains.

[@ambercrombie789]

You have struck the nail squarely on the head once again, little bro. // I esp. agree about the manipulation thing. Lived through/survived that. God bless you for your faithfulness.

[@RenewalCreations]

I don't understand people talking about love languages. I just look at in terms of the gifts and fruit of the spirit and 1 Corinthians 13 (the love chapter). God built each member of the body of Christ differently. One might lift someone up through prayer, another through encouragement, or prophecy, or worship, or another show his love through the act of service. We express our love for God and each other through our gifts and laying down our lives and desires and needs for others.

[@evancontreras9127]

God is love

[@lauras3002]

Tim, I think you need to give credit to the author of the love languages book in your last point. That was his idea, not yours. He states in his book that each person should learn how to give and receive love in all love languages.

[@joannelouise8018]

Thank you for this perspective, Jesus our author of love .

[@m.d.d4250]

Excellent!

[@richardsyt33]

Over 20 years of marriage and this has been my wife in a word, it's been all about her. I'm stuck with no way out.

[@freenate0425]

My issue with the love languages is that they only speak to the half of love that is kind. Doing kind things only maintains love if you also speak the language of patience. (1Cor.13:1 - Love is patient. Love is kind)

[@mchristr]

Thank you for this. The entire Love Language concept is problematic from the start. What happens when your spouse doesn't "speak" your love language? Is divorce in the cards?

[@unknowntexan4570]

As a LMFT this video mischaracterizes the Five Love Languages. It is a metaphor of individual style of giving and receiving love as “an emotional need.” It isn’t about love as a virtue, although it doesn’t conflict with virtue. Secondly, Dr. Chapman says all styles of loving is important but one or two stand out for the individual and marriage is enhanced when we know and act on that information. This is a solution in search of a problem. I might add that all are in the Bible and life of Christ. Also, after listening again, love languages are not desires or preferences. They are individual needs. The last point he made was equivocation. They aren't flawed; they are biblical.

[@RenewalCreations]

I worked in psychology for 6 years, and I disagree. Psychology is flawed in my opinion (and usable only in a grace). When you look at love from a biblical perspective, you are looking at 1 Corinthians 13...Love does not seek its own, it does not focus on its own needs or desires but pours itself out for the other person (how Christ offered Himself and Paul poured himself as a drink offering). Love (and personality) is expressed through the gifts of the Holy Spirit, one is given the gift of service and shows his or her love through that and edifies many members of the body, another through encouragement, another through lifts up through worship or prayer. Through all this the Body is edified and no one lacks.

[@kerrimerlotboutin157]

Agree completely!

[@rickysikes8303]

Jesus is love, but people hated Him. Why? Because live and truth are inseparable. People define love as emotional feelings, but the Bible dies not! It is good to know the Greeks have different words for love, because they are used in Scripture. We must love God above all. Jesus said that if we love Him we will obey Him. We should seek to love others rather than seeking to be loved by others. God loves us, so we are empowered to love others and not for what they can give us.

[@devourthetruth5694]

I don't try to get caught up in all the doctrine disputes. Satan loves to throw so much confusion a lies between denominations and doctrine. As long as you focus on the core teachings of the Bible, and have a true relationship with God. I love Catholics even though I am Protestant. I know many who will be in heaven. There are so many lukewarm throughout all denominations it saddens me. However, fighting each other or condemning one other goes nowhere and Satan loves this.

[@eldowden]

If my memory serves me the book talks about using all the languages but the person may hear (feel) one more than others.

[@unknowntexan4570]

Eric Dowden Yes you are correct.

[@wendellpowell5838]

Thank you for making this video Tim.. Now I just have to find a way to casually have my wife stumble on this.. lol.. Seriously though, very eye opening and true about things I've noticed in myself.. Thank you and God bless, brother!

[@unknowntexan4570]

Wendell Powell The video shows a lack of understanding of the Love Languages. He was pontificating on something he doesn’t understand.

[@wendellpowell5838]

Unknown Texan actually his points are spot on. I've owned the books and my wife and I read through them and tried applying them. What we found was that it's easy to put our trust in a book written by man and not The Book (Bible) inspired by God. We quit reading it and lived according to the Bible and it's actually made our marriage even better. The books are self centered based on the what do I get out of it mentality.

[@unknowntexan4570]

Wendell Powell You argue the problem was you not the book. Gary Chapman would be the first to say that his books, or any other marriage book, is not a replacement for The Book. I've done 40 marriage retreats using The Five Love Languages and this kind of arguments are nonsense and unfair.

[@michaelfowell3759]

We are destroying speculations and taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.

[@Desicuevas]

Amén!!

[@kevinbarton1661]

Bible says - “do good and communicate well - let everything we do be done with love!” Sow In tears - reap In joy . Go about bearing precious seeds - reap a harvest. John 11:35 - “Jesus wept!” - there. There is our example - for a love Language.

[@freeasabutterfly9689]

Thanks it reminds me of self love I was thinking of getting the devotional but I'm not now I don't like the book live languages the book I read it when I read receiving gifts as a love language I thought are you serious I got rid of the book and will not get the devotional there's nothing wrong with gifts in moderation but as a love language get serious but the man has been on Oprah so what can you expect

[@janekay4147]

We read way to may so called "christian books" and not enough of the Bible

[@MichaelaDelaney]

I heard someone say Christian books are dessert but the Bible is our meal.

[@intothekey]

Agreed however we must not forsake the body of Christ and Christian books are part of that. I'm not at all discouraging having the Bible the vast majority of your reading. However relying on the true body can help us understand the Bible and help us correct errors we might have in our understanding. My favorite Christian books are the ones that require me to have my Bible open and constantly read scripture. I'm currently reading John Mccarther's "truth war" and it's helped me connect and appreciate certain verses in a new way.

[@ickirusfuhngause797]

Hi: I generally agree with Tim; however, people often miss use the Word of God too - we don’t fault the Bible for a persons ill intention.

[@mando_apolgetico]

there’s nothing that can’t be nuanced... remember the love language book is not a theology book but a practical application based on a biblical foundation. Theory and theology are great. But until you don’t bring it to application you’re gonna lose everyone. Paul’s letters follow this format. Gospel Theology followed by a “therefore...” which turned the letter into application.

[@toniblackman8107]

What your describing is something called horse trading, not true love, I think what's important is the intent of the heart, and loving in God way!

[@FairelightSilverwing]

Like the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus," this book could easily place the love giver in a role of catering to a narcissist. If your "love language" requires acts of service, must I be your slave to communicate my love to you? Most mom's and wives have families who "hear" a language of service, and this is NOT love! Also, someone mentioned "men need respect, women need love." This is another bit of bondage. If you LOVE me, it must be based on respect. There is no love not built on respect. If men need to be trusted as wise, supportive and capable, but "love" women with romance, affection, "now, now, it's ok," that's NOT love. If my husband does not consider my evaluation of a situation is not considered as valid as the man down the street, what am I? A servant, a toy, a pet? Men, stop ignoring the opinions and expertise of women in your life. HEAR me. Don't Pat me on the head and send me flowers. I'm not a "kept woman." I bring as much to the table as you do. Often more. I'm not talking about money. Love not respect should be based on financial contribution. Without equal respect, love is a curse.

[@unknowntexan4570]

Robyn Bray Read the Book first.

[@FairelightSilverwing]

I did read it.

[@unknowntexan4570]

Robyn Bray Then you are being unfair to its author who implies none of the things you wrote. That's why I thought you didn't read it. Sorry.

[@FairelightSilverwing]

Unknown Texan I suppose someone who has no unhealthy relationships might not see the possibilities Tim Challis or I see. One can be a slave for years to narcissistic family and friends before realizing their problem. Also, it's possible to be the abuser in relationships and not recognize it. I've known many people who, seeing themselves as God's chosen leader in the lives of others and control them either by giving or demanding much, implying that service, or praise or attention are proof of love. This destroys healthy relationships with others, because the devotion demanded can be all consuming. I'm sure this was not the author's intention, but I wonder if he has since learned the dangerous possibilities he proposes. I hope you are blessed not to have any of these negative situations! God bless u.

[@unknowntexan4570]

Robyn Bray Going back through replies and saw yours. I've been counseling couples for 25 years and have conducted 40 retreats using The Five Love Languages and if that is satisfactory experience, these issues discussed are not an issue at best and a complete misunderstanding of Dr. Chapman's metaphor at worst.

[@BRAINWASHED.NETWORK]

Bible verse please... Someone back "love languages" biblically...

[@GATeacherfriend]

I think Love languages arent scriptural, but still a useful prism through which to look at our relationships and think about exactly what the verb "love" means. Do our loved ones need words? Acts? Touch? Tokens? People come into our lives with different histories and needs we might not relate to. This "love language" can be a tool to help us express love in ways we might not have considered or to recognize what expressions we respond to that are love actions. I'm more of an atheist so not really your target audience. This is a recent revelation for me having spent my whole life longing for God until I came to terms with the whole fiction thing. Still I hoped when I stumbled on this site you would address the "Left Behind" series. To me, these are the worst books that ever made the best seller list. Despite being an atheist, I would still like to hear your perspective.

[@janekay4147]

I have the book but never read it lol

[@jumemowery9434]

Please reconsider a new title to your video. The problem is not with the love language, the problem is that people are broken.

[@slumbermoon]

Jume Mowery Agreed!

[@slumbermoon]

Abuse of love languages

[@pauloftarsus8145]

Man you got that right...you could add so is the church.

[@elilondon7073]

Don't need any "love languages". The mighty one designed marriage. Follow his design and your marriage will improve greatly.

[@valeriebriggs1058]

Sorry I don't know what these love languages are? I speak in tongues when I am playing but those prayers are to God.

[@unknowntexan4570]

Valerie Briggs The Five Love Languages are they way people show affection in the family and with friends. They are not real languages. They include touch, giving, spending time, helping, encouragement. These are all biblical.

[@nathanielriesterer9103]

Love languages 😂😂

[@JoyceMeyerJunkJournals]

What a stupid book. Why are people so prideful and selfish to need to be loved rather than asking how can I love God and someone else?

[@minaibrahim1252]

Love languages are not at all selfish or prideful (though they can be misused). Yes, it is mosy important to love God and love others, but there is NOTHING wrong with asking for what you want. If you just need a hug, emotional support, words of encouragement, etc; that is perfectly fine.

[@mary-janechambers3596]

Too bad Paul didn’t get a copy of The Love Languages! He would have learned more about love. Not so! 1 Cor 13:4-7

[@binmanart]

Seems you show a pattern of being a bit overly critical or protective. You're speaking about things that people may create misconceptions about and I get it, but then again it just sounds like you're trying to hard to find something to make a video about. Remember that though you are Christian and you mean to use your channel for the glory of God, it's still just a business where you promote ads to keep it all afloat. Tread carefully.

[@FreshDonuts]

If you take issue with his perspective, show the respect of having a substantive discussion or posing real critiques that engage with the arguments in his premises. If you have been following Tim for any amount of time, you would realize that on the balance of probabilities, it is unlikely that he is producing these videos to create significant revenue via the KZbin ad scheme. I doubt that a dynamic and successful person like Mr Challies is building a KZbin platform solely for personal gain. This goes without saying, but the way you conclude your comment with this obscure threat of 'Tread carefully' is tasteless.

[@binmanart]

FreshDonuts fair enough. After watching again, I see his intentions better. I jumped the gun. Sorry.

[@pauloftarsus8145]

Pretty sure he just did that, YOU might have missed it.

[@pauloftarsus8145]

Balony, you had it right the first time. To much FAKE love...not enough TRUTH. Love languages, you serious? What a crock. Gimme a break, where in the bible do I love everybody while their being led like the pied piper to the slaughter? people need truth, not some phony politically correct love. WORK is love. Truth is love. The church is asleep. Unity through diversity yes, but NEVER sacrifice Truth for unity.

[@unknowntexan4570]

Paul ofTarsus You haven't read the book. Jesus demonstrates all five Love Languages. You want to be like Jesus right?

[@havealot2say]

That is not at all the point or purpose of the book and the first example you sounds a lot like a narcissist. I really enjoy your content, I have to say this one is a bit of a stretch.

[@pauloftarsus8145]

yeah its BS is what it is, the same ole same ole, love everybody politically correct BS. This aint bible Truth. This is modern day Laodiceans at their finest hour.

[@unknowntexan4570]

Paul ofTarsus I really wish you would read the book and compare it to the Bible. Does the Bible condemn encouraging? Does it condemn serving one another? Does it condemn giving? Does it condemn reaching out and touching? Does it condemn spending time with one another? Does any of these behaviors contradict 1 Cor. 13? As a minister and military chaplain for 25 years, I've seen many marriages saved or enhanced by this Christian author. I've conducted 40 retreats with soldiers, been to one conducted by Dr. Chapman myself. Every one of these five are both common sense and reflected in the Bible and are reflected in God's redemptive story.

[@pauloftarsus8145]

Well, keep up the good work, and no the bible does NOT condemn those behaviors as a matter of fact it Commands, those behaviors. I myself have two Natures, the Old Man and the New man. When you get saved, you receive a new nature. But the old one goes nowhere and cannot be fixed, so dont be suprise d if you see a little of the "old man" coming out in a comment on you tube, especially when "emotion" is involved." I think this is what you are trying to say to me. 9" Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Eph 4:29. God beat you to it. But thanks. Im a natural debater. Its a balancing act. Telling the truth with love isnt easy. Love is not an emotion, that helps...Agape, it not an emotion. Thats the world talking. "Cant we all just get along?" lOL. rODNEY kING. mY ANSWER no WE CANT, AND WE never WILL. Caps lock :) God bless.

[@pauloftarsus8145]

Never heard of love languages, sounds like mumbo jumbo to me, no offense. Man wants respect, women want love. In THAT scenario maybe it matters of with your kids, but Im supposed to go find everybody elses love language? and theirs 5 of them? NUTS! I tell the truth with love, thats all they need to know, if their offended its on them.

[@paulaegraham]

Paul ofTarsus If you jave a wife and kids you may want to make them feel deeply loved.

[@pauloftarsus8145]

Unity in Diversity. I think its true we reap what we sew, SO IF I want love Ill have to SEW love no? Men want respect, women want love. Unfortunately us westerners dont know what love is. We think love is lust. But God showed us what love is when He sent His only begotten Son Jesus to the earth. "We love Him because He first loved us." We can "learn" what love is by the abiding presence of God and "looking unto Jesus." So, if I had a wife I would DO something for her, to make her feel loved. If I always run around SAYING "I love you honey" but their is no ACTION associated with that statement. Its just "lip service." Think she would know the difference? So "the wounds of a friend are faithful" If I see my brother in error and I DONT tell him hes in error, what SERVICE have I provided him? None. IF I TELL him (using as much tact as I can muster) "you are in error and here is why" THEN I have "loved" him, because now he can hopefully grow past whatever may have been holding him back. In this case a Laodicean sleep or lethargy. Not caring for truth, following false teachers etc. So we see then what Jesus means by "tell the truth with love" Love is the MOTIVATION. IE: I wants whats BEST for my brother. Since I want whats best for my brother I...TELL HIM THE TRUTH. Get it? I dont have a wife and kids, God saw fit to bless me that way. Now thats love (from God) :) I have a cat. I spoil her. :) Thanks for the suggestion though. Sounds good. P.S. Never sacrifice truth for unity, that IS NOT love. Its murder. Allowing your "brother" to live in sin, live in error and wander from Gods truth is not love. But political correctness would have you think so!! This also is deception. Its in the church. They have no real "love" for truth. This is deadly in my eyes, I do not believe in once saved always saved. I believe in Get saved then Stay saved. Thats what "I" personally would like to see happen. People GETTING saved, AND people STAYING saved. That to me...is love, WORKED out. Maybe you could compare it to Getting married and Staying married eh? TWO different jobs. getting married is EASY compared to Staying married. It takes WORK my friend. Faith without WORK is dead. Get it? a Marriage without work is dead. etc. etc. ad infinitem. "Love languages" Bah. Political correctness is what it is. Mr "I love you" while I let you die because your in error man.

[@paulaegraham]

Paul ofTarsus Technically you should do both. If you had read the book--and its blatant arrogance to critique a book you haven't bothered to read--you would have discovered your love language is acts of service. You don't think its love if you say "I love you" but don't DO anything about it. What happens if you marry a women whose love language is loving words? You are doing and doing, so even if you sometimea forget too say it, she knows you love her, right? She is saying I love you every day, and wishes you would pause and say it back. You are wondering why she keeps parroting I love you, but never does amything about it. The idea of love languages is that there are different ways to express love, and different people respond differently to each of them. When you know what makes your spouse feel valued, then you are more likely to communicate your love to each other efficiently. We should express our love in all 5 ways: acts of service, loving words, gifts, physical touch, and quality time, but one or two of these will mean more to our spouse and each individual child will also have their own language. Faith without works is dead. What your little rant says is you aren't willing to do the WORK of finding out how your wife wants to be loved because you already know how she should and if she feels differently that just proves she is less holy than you and wants touchy feeliness over real regard. This selfish arrogance may be why you have cats rather than family.

[@pauloftarsus8145]

If this is about Marriage relationships ( I wont watch it to find out because Ive heard it all before listened to Focus on the family for 15 years James Dobson), Ill let you slide, if its not, its the biggest crock of political correctness I ever heard. By the way love the TRUTH in your comment, I RESPECT truth, let me make a confession, I as you said did not read the book, I wouldnt waist my time :) I also did not listen to this video all the way through, I saw again that its a waist of time. (For ME personally). Never sacrifice truth for unity. Unless its a Marriage relationship? Lol. At least you didnt try to learn my love language and lull me into the Laodicean deep sleep. Love is action. Love = Truth= Save souls. Love language? Not so much."UNLESS its a Marriage relationship" its a waist of time. OK, thank you, again thank you for not Loving me to death, I appreciate that. Dont think I could take it really :) .Oh and by the way, truth isnt popular, never has been. I dont EXPECT to win a popularity contest. Beheaded for the truth more likely. :) I accept that. Ill love them to death while their sawing my head off with a dull knife. Oh wait.. Ill learn their love language. That should help. Lol Like I said I plead guilty as to not reading the book and not watching the vid all the way through (couldnt bear it). My comment may or may NOT have to do with the video Directly. My comment is true whether I watched the video or not, because Im NOT talking about a Marriage relationship and in THAT context, love languages is a crock of you know what. Period. I could PROVE it but to penetrate a Laodicean mind might take more space and time than I care to waste in one place. Thank you God bless RIP Wait! I got a good idea, while the Christian world is going to the outer darkness and hell and being separated from God for all eternity and weeping and nashing their teeth in the lake of fire, lets make a video about Love languages or better yet. Sleep overs. Get my point? Thanks. PS What you DONT see is the fact that I have been studying the bible for 28 years, I was BORN on Daniel and Revelation. People are dying, and TODAY is the acceptable day. OK? just for context. and In the mean time?...this. I dont get it. But then again Im not 18 anymore or even 30. Im 63 one foot on a banana peel and one in the Grave, Im gonna SCREAM truth while I can. Just doing my job as I understand it. In the grave, I wont have the chance. LOVING everybody isnt going to SAVE them without the Truth! Do you understand? That is politically correct HORSE#$%@ and its PLAYING church. Not the right time for play my friend. Time to Work. You might not know it but its the beginning of sorrows. You got time to LEARN peoples Love language? I sure as heck dont. The end, Im done. Hope you like my rant. Love you. Good bye. STUDY, TEST, PROVE, WORK.

[@paulaegraham]

Paul ofTarsus I have heard it said that people who are proud of being brutally honest, often enjoy the brutality as much or more than the honesty. I fear you are a case in point. That kind of honesty is the polar opposite of speaking the truth in love. Take for example a gay child. Dishonest response: Oh, Jesus doesn't care who you love. Unloving response: You will burn in hell forever and ever and I will look down from heaven and laugh and laugh. Truth in love; While I will always love you and do anything I can to help you, I can not condone destructive lifestyle choices. Speaking the truth in love is not beating people over the head with their shortcomings. It is offering support when they want to change their habits, and letting them know that while neither you nor Jesus are writing them off, both of you are hurt and disappointed by the things that hurt them incluing self destruction. The love language books are about intimate relationships: kids, spouse and maybe very close friends. If you didn't know that you didn't do enough research to have an opinion. So basically yoi are just embarrassing yourself. Pray continue. I have a sick sense of humor.

[@greatvalue1337]

Every human is inherently selfish and greedy. You honestly think people don't have expectations of others? (including your spouse). Your second point is that its a negotiation. If you actually read the book, every story he read he asks one of the spouses to learn their partners love language and try and live by their partners love language WITHOUT anything in return. And you lost me with the rhetoric of every person is a sinner with desires(seriously? who believes this garbage). We are human beings we have desires, that is not sin, just a way for people to justify telling others what i can and cannot do. Then you go on to say that love languages are great, but its all about receiving. One partner cant receive love without the other one giving LOL, i laughed out loud for a bit when you said its not about giving. Love languages is about how to give your partner love that they respond to because we all have different ways of expressing love. On a side note, this is the only video on youtube that i could find a negative opinion about the love languages. Which is funny because its a book about how to be a better spouse.

[@RenewalCreations]

Husbands are supposed to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. Love is not conditional. It is about offering yourself up and serving someone and putting their needs ahead of yours.

[@minaibrahim1252]

​@@RenewalCreations wives are also called to love their husband and put his needs before her own too. It goes both ways.