The R&B dudes REFUSE to grow up, so we ALL have to suffer.

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[@KimberlyNicoleFoster89]

If you're in DFW, come to Happy Hour in August! www.eventbrite.com/e/kimberly-nicole-fosters-happy-hour-and-game-night-tickets-391153349197

[@suzygirl1843]

Listen t Ruslan, he is preaching the word of God and helping men value women.

[@Obi431]

Just the song ladies. Many men in their late 30s want to settle down with “the woman of your dreams,” if you’re not that then that’s one thing but let’s not act like this song represents the dating pool of men in their 30s… This song isn’t an excuse of why y’all single 😅

[@LibertyMadison]

Excellent organization to support Kimberly

[@makemsaydee25]

Hyper

[@brie1026]

omg! So excited

[@FlowMoon__3]

I’m just confused why ppl insist Chris brown is in the level of bey or MJ. Chris isn’t even in the same level of usher, LET ALONE Michael or beyonce.

[@ievolcisum]

The common sense is hitting!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🙏🏽💕

[@soliloquylove2115]

BOOP!!!

[@fabfemme800]

Was just telling my bf he’s not on ushers level!!

[@comeawaywithme]

SAY IT AGAIN

[@verda_renee]

Chris been making the same song about fxcking somebody's biracial daughter over a trap beat for like a decade. Which seems to be the standard in the R&B PREDATOR (allegedly) community. (*cough*Trey Songz*cough*)

[@abenagyampo]

“Open monogamy”. That is an oxymoron. There’s no such thing. That’s called asking your woman to let you cheat while forcing her to stay faithful to you. 💀💀💀

[@PHlophe]

they think it makes them appear smart. Chile, you got me thinking that i need to pop at my grand mother's , i miss that good old Kenkeh.

[@dahliaherrod4301]

It's not cheating if you are getting permission. It's also not monogamy. The issue is people will give permission to keep a person but don't really wanna do it

[@syasyaishavingfun]

These men be playing themselves, the second they open the relationship the women will have more dates than the men.

[@otuawan]

They're just mad. Dassit. Trying to justify their toxicity

[@sonyap8253]

@@syasyaishavingfun this part

[@TatiSaysSo]

Yes, these artists don’t grow up. The thing is they don’t have to. They don’t live in the same world we live in. There will always be an assistant to clean up their mess or send them to rehab. The problem is, other men think they can do the same things these artists do and they can’t because they don’t have the clout, access, or money.

[@Kay-kg6ny]

THAT PART!

[@Obi431]

True… I agree furthermore I am glad there’s no more “begging” music, I never related to it.

[@tallycally]

@@Obi431 Agreed. "Begging Music" was as much a contrivance as this crap.

[@carrington2949]

Nah, these niccas go broke all of the time. Look at all the dudes from the 90s and 2000s scene. Some of them are even in prison. 🤣

[@cbrcm7]

@@carrington2949 Chris brown himself has been in and out of prison. Lol

[@theologyschooldropout2462]

Someone said to me once, “these ppl are entertainers, not life coaches” and I don’t think I’ll ever forget that lolol

[@SK-le4lj]

and clearly we're entertained lol

[@thetristoneera]

I mean, if you didn't receive that as a five year old; good luck with your mental space. lol

[@ieshapearson6815]

They used to be back in the day 😩

[@Wall0fCatz]

I’m not suffering. I’m not dating. So they can play childish games until they are 70 for all I care. I’m happy single. Stress free and drama free!🥰

[@wildewildestrawberries]

Same.

[@ladystalker3953]

Same. Its over. I have lost all respect for them. I just wish I knew & understood what I know now, so I would never have given them a chance to sink their fangs into me.

[@wildewildestrawberries]

@@ladystalker3953 you will heal and when you do they'll look like ants in your past. Happened to me. You're on the path to love and freedom. Be patient with yourself,you're all you got in the end. Be blessed.

[@ki.caassh115]

@@wildewildestrawberries beautifully said

[@josephbishara4791]

Me too. Single and happy.

[@tottieyana4994]

When Drake and Future, grown ass men knocking on 40’s door, made Way 2 Sexy it was confirmed for me once again that R&B and Hip-Hop are suffering from a severe case of arrested development.

[@nickjones3860]

But this woman that basing her real life on music isn’t?

[@gbbs9]

@@SunShine-lq7yt yeahhh this is a good point. I’m a fan of Drake but lately I’ve been like he’s not really aging well. Like he’s too old be talking about the same stuff

[@trayog2459]

@@nickjones3860 she never said so nor is that the case

[@jsnjwb84]

Music is about perspective. Its not your perspective so why do you give it so much weight

[@xiamariansupreme72]

The mass majority of male rappers stopped developing beyond 15-19 years old, in my opinion.

[@Chuuzus]

like what happened to the days of r&b men singing out their feelings in the rain?! and passionately wanting to be loved?! #MakeRnBGreatAgain

[@ajat3202]

They want to be young forever

[@GoaWay...]

They've always sang about cheating in old songs. Like that "Mrs Jones" song, "cheating in the next room", "clean up woman" and so many more. Those are like from the 70's or something. Even tlc had a song about cheating,"creep", which is why left eye did not rap on it. She refused to do a song on cheating. She only showed up for the video. 😸

[@chrisman3431]

@@GoaWay... Right, ppl need to learn their History. Bobby Womack, Marvin Gaye were singing about cheating as well. In the 90s and the 2000s as well with the Robert Kellys, Ushers. I mean You Make Me Wanna and obviously the whole Confessions album which was based on Jerman Dupri real love life and cheating affairs ironically lol. JD was with Janet at the time btw

[@GoaWay...]

@@chrisman3431 yep. And usher was cheating on pretty much everyone he was with, chilli, then his wife. He cheated so much he caught herpes. Smh.

[@chrisman3431]

@@GoaWay... Wasn't the herpes allegations false claims ? Maybe I'm wrong but I don't remember being proven to be 100% the truth

[@mmikiogt54]

I loved DVSN's past work, but lmao with this song I didn't even let them finish the "doesn't mean I don't love you" part of the sentence before switching it off entirely and unsubscribing. I will give kpop a listen before ever giving Kevin Samuels R&B my money ever 😂

[@ashleyb.8217]

And that’s on Mary had a little lamb

[@toriyt2714]

😂 Kevin Samuels R&B

[@dianabryan7421]

@@toriyt2714 OMG 😲 LOL!

[@rogodwynn]

This sent me into orbit 😂😂😂

[@sakizaky9270]

Lol the first sentence i turned it off. Use to love dvsn but lately im like the music isnt for me anymore.

[@pageturningpriestess2859]

I had two encounters with two men in their mid-forties. The first was a man who was 45 dating an 18-year-old. He had about 8 children and six baby mothers. He complained that the 18-year-old's mother didn't like him and also the 18-year-old wanted to get married. I said the mother probably didn't like him because she is a young lady with no children on her way to college and here he comes with his six baby mothers. This dude said, "But marriage...that just seems like too much of a commitment!" But pushing or getting a baby cut out of your body isn't huge either? We stopped being cordial that day. The second man I met when I was in my early twenties. He was also in his mid-forties and tried to ask me out. I basically said I was too young for him. He said that he only wanted a woman who was 18 or 19. I asked, "Why don't you date a woman within your age group? They are mature and usually have all of their stuff together." This man ranted, "These women in their forties, they think they can do whatever they want. You can't tell them anything. They think they can do what they want!!" I said, "But they can do what they want. They have rights and they are grown." This man's eyes got so wide. We literally stood in dead silence because he knew and I knew that this was probably the dumbest nonsense he had ever spewed. The guys who stay in a perpetual state of adolescence never win in the end. It frustrates them when nobody takes them seriously or when their closest allies turn their backs on them. The most common thing I have witnessed is them estranged from their families and it is sad. They are doing themselves a disservice by refusing to progress. A baby cannot stay in its mother's womb forever or it will harm the mother and itself. They are keeping themselves in a state of immaturity and creating unnecessary pain.

[@TheLily97232]

They appreciate women when they can be toys. Lil dick energy right here.

[@turquoiselizzie6874]

The fact that I had almost similar as yours experiences only this is on my end the dudes are between 29 and 35 ugh, most think they can manipulate by talking about wanting someone with less experience 🤔I wish 20year olds especially ladies(understand most dudes whom are older) are looking for a sex doll and fantasy girl that's it nothing else.....glad I got away

[@EmilyDickmesome]

🤢🤢🤢

[@longlivebeans]

Being poly myself, I totally agree. Everyone in the relationship needs to be fully aware, fully consensual & fully enthusiastic when it comes to non-monogamy. Anything else is coercion & that’s gross. Don’t do that to people.

[@dgabriela1406]

This☝🏿

[@deedeedussard]

I have also found in the community the men talk their women into enm but then get upset that more people want their women and not them

[@Angelmarilynrose]

Oh yess! Spot on!

[@camillelemmens1745]

@@deedeedussard Yes, there are definitely men whose masculinity is hurt when their female partners are more sexually active than they are. It is a competition and they want to dominate

[@tanyataylor5530]

😂 He laughs at them in their folly.

[@ashy_ankles_101]

This is why I stay listening to neo-soul and 70s r&b. Ain’t nuthin givin what was supposed to have gave anymore. And I’m beyond tired of this love for Chris Brown. Man’s been making the same song since 2007

[@sonyap8253]

Period! Man is a whole grown man and father and has nothing to talk about but fucking. Plaaaaaaaayed

[@tanyataylor5530]

😂🤣😂 I told my cousin the same thing. Chris needs to do something different. Maybe make a rock album. Challenge himself. He already wearing blond hair and got the tats. 😂🤦🏽‍♀️

[@lavonnealexander6936]

@@tanyataylor5530 don’t dare tell his fans this because they will disagree.

[@mahoganysoul7195]

😂😂😂😂 @ " since 2007 " ... That's so true !

[@christenrolli4976]

@@tanyataylor5530 ROCK??!?!?😭😭😭😭

[@Carlyon100]

Once the men aint cussing women out they aint got nutting to say. Back in the day the men were vulnerable about love, intimate relationships and growing up. These young cats are pure arrested development

[@noble604]

Agree but to be fair, they’re appealing to women with equal or lower arrested development, girls and women who know every word, say THIS is a bop and who sing along. (And, to also be fair about that, that’s what many of us did in the past when we were younger.... we loved the sound but just now are listening to the lyrics, years later, talking about “I’ll die if you leave me.” 👀 )

[@soupafleye]

💀 it’s giving STRUGGLE. nothin to say if it’s not trash talking women

[@mile_851]

It was definately worse in the past

[@Moszan]

@Natasha Evans Thank you! Exactly what I was thinking.

[@srm0520]

I’ve actually talked about this very thing with several of my male friends. The idea that men want a woman who is “clean” and “good” (i.e. hasn’t had a lot of partners and wants monogamy) but also want this fantasy woman to be a freak in the sheets and, you know, open to letting them do whatever they would like w other females. Being on dating apps in the past I’ve said to these same friends that I feel that men are often misleading women on them by checking the “seeking relationship” box when they dern well know they are not. BUT they want to find women who are seeking that because they see them as “better” or “more pure.” I’ve said, why don’t you just look for a woman who wants casual sex if that’s what you’re seeking- I mean, there’s plenty out there. But nooooo….that “kind” of woman isn’t what they want, even though they’re well aware that casual sex is their true intention. It’s the most classic nauseating case of having your cake and eating it too 🤮

[@genevieveaniko6492]

It's the hypocrisy for me.... They are actually hunting down good women to misuse and abuse them. The truth of the matter is that hoes belong with hoes...

[@maybemablemaples2144]

They want a mother figure they can bang, then a side piece they can do all the stuff they can't do with the mother figure. Not saying women don't cheat but this ideal is so prevalent in the way men talk about relationships. Society is raising lil non-empathetic robots who don't know how to feel complex emotions or have any depth.

[@brie1026]

Yep, they hate consent for some reason, not to mention they can only conceptualize 2 types of woman: the Madonna or the Whore. It's a very limited mindset rooted in not seeing women as full flesh human beings.

[@misstek3398]

It’s giving predator. They want to be able to say they conquered a woman. Fair exchange is not a conquer or a robbery

[@florencee3324]

This is exactly why as a virgin i’m veryyyy nervous to get into the dating scene. I’m tired of hoeish men wanting to conquer me and women like me🙄.

[@verda_renee]

These are the same men that dragged and degraded Jada for having an entanglement while she and her husband were separated. These are the same men TD Jakes wants us to let lead us. 🤨

[@primamateria01]

💯

[@calamarichris4426]

Apparently BW only want to be lead by white zaddys wallet. But even that ends in disaster.

[@christopherlewis2194]

But y'all praise Jada y'all won't do's the same like they did in seventies and eighties but with climate of woman today (city girls) they're not like singing that no more

[@verda_renee]

@@calamarichris4426 we want to be led by men that can actually be trusted with our physical and emotional safety. Not men who can't even be in control of their own basic sexual urges. Unfortunately it is the norm in our culture for Black Men to proudly exhibit this degenerate behavior. If Black men don't want that to be their image, yall gotta take that up with the Black Men who have made that your image. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@verda_renee]

@@christopherlewis2194 we praised Jada for being open and honest about something she and her husband got therapy for and worked through together, PRIVATELY years before August got on an interview and leaked the details for the world to hear. At no point has Jada bragged about or excused the act of cheating on your partner. Try again.

[@JayKennedy101]

Girl I used to be a Chris Brown fan and I said the SAME THING!! Where is the maturation??? His fan base has grown up! The twenty something’s are checking for Bryson Tiller, and Brent Faiyaz type guys. They low key look at Chris as OLD! I remember being a twenty something and a 30 year old guy wanted to date me so bad! I thought it was so cringe and he was so old! lol now at 32, I look back and I’m like yeah that shit was still weird 😂 I wouldn’t even look at a twenty year old guy and think anything other than “aww he’s such a baby”

[@donttalktomeyoureannoying8736]

Bryson Tiller is a millennial though, he’s immature if you ask me

[@taylorbew1854]

@@donttalktomeyoureannoying8736 barely. He just turned 29 and there is a difference in maturity between his first album and his most recent (which was 2 years ago). This video made me think about who I listened to and there is a difference between the Chris brown/Future type and the Bryson Tiller/The Weeknd types

[@katvalentine129]

I don't think of Chris Brown as old, but I do think he's too old to still be singing about robitussin, his "shooters", throwing ass, turning up and getting high in every song.

[@racheltruth3822]

There are children more emotionally intelligent than most of these men.

[@Lilianamarie999]

The music is the real victim. Old school R&B artists, in all their grown man energy, had their own personal issues and questionable behaviors. We weren't subsequently forced to hear shitty music behind it though. They basically want to be singing hip-hop artists these days.

[@Ladylovebug26]

And now they are called old, Unc’s and Auntie’s now. No respect

[@Bri-ns5rm]

@@Ladylovebug26 I don’t see that as disrespect, but a lot of the old school artists tried to adapt with the times and their new music sucks. There’s a whole wave of new artist giving old school vibes (male artists like Lucky daye, Durand Bernard, masego, shelley) that would be great for collabs with older artists, but the uncs (and aunties) are making songs with the mainstream trash instead of with them. Numbers are driving everything so they’re making music for that, getting young producers, bad features with rappers, talking about stuff that seems disingenuous because of their age, straying from their fan base. They’re not marketing towards their demographic so they’re alienating themselves from older people and seem to be trying too hard for the young ones. Despite that, Tik tok is bringing back older music all the time and it’s clear young people enjoy it

[@ridjauhnryan6882]

@briana it’s true

[@ridjauhnryan6882]

Even look at how T Pain and Tobi Lou made that one song “2hrs” And his message was moreso just feeling unheard or unappreciated in his relationships and expressing if it isn’t going to work out let’s part ways instead of pretending like everything will be perfectly fine

[@ridjauhnryan6882]

That was a nice song

[@ayanomar1408]

I am 30 and honestly till you said “they are late 30’s” i was shocked😂😂 they always give off the maturity of an 16 year old. and even that is offensive to a 16 year old

[@Msladyrae92]

Nick has failed miserably at this multi family thing. He should have the women and kids at least able to be around eachother for gatherings. He lives multiple lives basically . He’s so open and honest with them yet they don’t even get their kids together to meet one another

[@Stopthisrightnow560]

It's the continuation of familial trauma for me.

[@cherishoneal9108]

Yeah. It was straight with the second baby mama after Mariah. Third kids five years old and sister’s one. But six kids within a year is reckless.

[@iris7301]

More broken homess

[@carrington2949]

@@Stopthisrightnow560 That is exactly what this is. He has all of that money and not one time do you see him speaking on creating research foundations for his illness. It is the SMALL MINDED idea of what he thinks a legacy is. None of these white actors are out here doing this and they have so much more money.

[@alisharo58]

A cishet mentality taken too far. Feeling like more kids means more power. Selfish and treating the kids as tokens for his ego. He’s gross

[@AbduAliFree]

Men in music just ain't doing for me these days. Both in rap & r&b. When Usher did his Tiny desk it made me realize how bad contemporary r&b from Black men has just went down hill. Back in the day, guys were really giving it. Idk what happened after the mid 2010s. I feel like men's contribution to rap and r&b is in it's flop era. As you said they refuse to be nuanced and give us music with themes/lyrics that fit the times.

[@Bri-ns5rm]

I honestly think it’s Drake’s influence. I’m 31 and there’s a huge difference in even early 2000s r&b and post Drake. He invented a whole genre of rap singing and it’s been downhill since then. What qualifies as an R &B singer isn’t even the same. Alternative R & B seems to be bringing back singers who sing, but it’s also full of singers who grew up with the current state of music.

[@GDL364]

@@Bri-ns5rm It happened way before Drake. It’s the lyrics that are lacking not just the vocals.

[@briantbmoth6472]

They aren’t attractive. Mushmouths.

[@mimiandy1683]

I feel like they're trying to cater for the men and have their music validated by them. The problem is... they looking at the wrong demographic. They're trying to appease that select population of misogynistic, garbage-ass men.

[@dawudj2286]

Yep music went downhill in mid 2000s to late 2000s . 2004-2009 with Chris Brown, Rihanna type of sound became popular . Some early 2000s 200O-2003 was fine but wasn’t as good as 90s for sure.

[@TribecalledroseBlogspot]

The new male r&b are really just artist that wanted to be rappers at this point

[@unfazedjae2645]

Brent Faiyaz started as a rapper Interestingly 👀

[@brokensongbird123]

this is why i liked the weeknd's after hours project so much -- its like a progression of understanding the emotional consequences of "toxic" behavior

[@quickpstuts412]

I'm a GenXer in my mid 40s and I royally miss the 80s and 90s R&B where men were not afraid to sing about true love without calling women names. Now when they sing or speak of love, they are called SIMPS. Think about how toxic that is. If you are out here catering to black women, you are considered a SIMP. Let that ISH sink in!!! My heart goes out here to you millennials and gen z's. We had it bad enough, but y'all have it worse!!! Geez!!! At least y'all are smart enough to realize you need to divest and open your options.

[@TititoDeBologay]

My brother jokes that the R&B dudes hung out with the rappers dude too much, now They're as jaded as them

[@sonyap8253]

Idk if you know...but there's a war on women quietly going on...

[@o0R3stless0o]

As a Xennial Child I agree. Its really sad!

[@mmaya772]

That’s exactly why I’m single cause the dating pool is absolutely trash honestly.*

[@quickpstuts412]

@@TititoDeBologay So true! I blame Jodeci. They started the thuggy R&B. LOL

[@formerlyknownas123]

They are so depressing. So happy to be single, sane and safe. Too many people out here trying to collect STD’s like Infinity Stones.

[@annieareyouok7671]

💀not like infinity stones

[@iwasbornunderwater]

How did you manage to take me on a rollercoaster in a few sentences? 😂 As someone who's chosen the single life I was nodding and testifying then you hit me with the infinity stones and I'm now screaming 🤣

[@formerlyknownas123]

@@iwasbornunderwater Sorry sis..🤣🤣😂

[@drtash21]

The work ethic from Kim though. I've never been spoiled with so much YT content!!The Adderall is doing wonders!!

[@TatiSaysSo]

Meds can absolutely change lives. I’m happy for her.

[@ntuan9360]

And her looks are killing it

[@Gin42]

@@ntuan9360 That part!!! I LOVE this blue on her!!! 💙💙💙

[@Chichi-sl2mq]

Nick has no regard for the welfare of his children. Imagine the insecurities you grow up with wondering if your dad will make time for you in the multitude of kids. Some more famous than others.

[@happygucci5094]

"It's giving Kevin Samuels vibes in a song" I am dead. 😭😂🎯 You nailed this. It's so not funny- it's hilarious "THIS is the dating pool people!!" Kimberly Foster "Tell me who I have to be? To gain some to gain some Reciprocity??" Lauryn Hill

[@intherapture]

Kim, you literally articulated how I feel about this generation's r&b (I'm 33 too) and precisely why I often don't listen to it: remedial and lacking any psychic depth 🎯

[@juicyparsons]

lol I thought it was just me! I can't relate to any of that drama lol I just wanna think about candy coated raindrops

[@artchick07]

At 34, I don't know what is going on with R&B now. It's insanity. This is why I don't listen to any of these guys. Let me listen to something else

[@tanyataylor5530]

Don't y'all mean psychological depth? Psychic means something entirely different.

[@juicyparsons]

@@tanyataylor5530 psychic meaning spiritually deep or soulful. R&B focuses on surface level "romance" and it's gotten really boring

[@iateyursandwiches]

Giveon and lucky daye seem promising. Have you heard anything from them?

[@OGtheGoat9]

My question is, why would any self loving woman pursue a man or even consider a man that uses popular music to shape his ideas and morals? Not for me. But I guess those kinds of people are out there.

[@KimberlyNicoleFoster89]

popular culture shapes all of our ideas. if you're living in a society, that's inescapable.

[@reinagrant8572]

coercion is real. thats the whole point of this topic, even if you ask who the person is having sex with for your health they still don't believe you deserve honesty or safety. people just suck sometimes.

[@Wicked1xX]

I just had this conversation with a woman, surprisingly, about letting your partner know if you are wanting to sleep with someone else & give them the choice on if they want to continue with you or not. She was saying she shouldn't have to get permission on what to do with her body, as long as it doesn't get back to the partner and she treats them right 🤦🏾‍♀️. It's about respect. If exclusivity was established & agreed upon, if you are wanting to do something else, your gf/bf should get communication from you. Don't just cheat.

[@jasminemoon9965]

😒 that’s childish. She can think about her body, but not her partners?

[@Canthavemybones]

This!!! Just be up front and don’t pretend to be monogamous if you’re not.

[@jusletursoulglobaby]

I agree with you. it's interesting she thinks this is about getting permission. sounds like that woman is not mature enough to be in an exclusive relationship. she lacks the fundamentals

[@Kay-kg6ny]

Sounds like her trying to rationalize getting to eat her cake and have it too. Cheaters want the security and respectability of the existing relationship, plus the freedom and variety of sleeping with others, all without the awkwardness of honest conversation and the risk that thsir partner will want out. I wish they would just admit that to themselves.

[@Kay-kg6ny]

Also your partner always has the right to know that you might be potentially exposing them to infections (STIs, covid, whatever it might be)

[@Xara_K1]

As my friend said, at this point, being a Bm is a red flag 😂

[@Pbbbb]

It’s the facts

[@taylorstep8135]

That's a real friend.

[@Stopthisrightnow560]

Nah, just cis men in general. It's that bullshit "alpha male" mentality.

[@thewireboy100]

This isn't Cynthia G page

[@taylorstep8135]

@@thewireboy100 I said what I said

[@lowtech42]

Black women wanted the return of begging R&B and just got the men begging to forgive their cheating 😭

[@lolabint3411]

💀💀💀

[@AlexaGoldSoul]

I’m Polyamorous but what a lot of folks are doing out here isn’t ethical - it’s self-serving, deceitful and dysfunctional. And what I see from a lot of black men of our generation, is… They’re still conditioned like the rest of us under patriarchy, so while they use non-monogamy/open relationships as a opportunity to live out their dysfunction, they still seek the supposed stability of a monogamous woman, that’s why they don’t go after non-monogamous women who match their relationship style (on the surface anyway). They want to be able to live how they want while still having one woman who is dedicated and committed ONLY to them. It’s like paying rent on a home - I’ll invest just enough to keep you tethered to me but I can still wander as I please…

[@juicyparsons]

bingo! my ex tried to explain this to me he explained there are 2 types of love: passionate love and stable love. passionate love is fleeting, in the moment, carelessness that happens occassionally (with the younger/sexy/skinny/whatever girl of the year....)"what WE have is stable love" and told me how WE would be together forever because we have a deeper psychic connection and that our foundation was a stable reliable relationship that would always surpass "passionate love"...... Lol i'm so glad I left that bullshit bc that sounds like you gon just use me for like.... insurance purposes..... end-of-life security.....to keep the lights on....FOREVER??? Nawwww nigga lol we still are really good friends but I'm glad he said that to me to make me see that this really wasn't it!!

[@sonyap8253]

@@juicyparsons so let me get this straight...he told you your love was deeper than sex and you left. Damn the women just as lost as the men. Smh

[@adrianbrrghs]

@@sonyap8253 If the love was deeper than sex, then surely you can forgo sex with a random person to honor the person that you love so deeply? The women aren’t the lost ones, hun.

[@monimuppet6132]

@@sonyap8253 People saying that is a con and I really hope you're just trolling by attempting to defend it. Also, if this man truly believed this about love vs. sex, I wonder why they are often so against a partner that practices the same? (I don't actually wonder. I know exactly why.)

[@juicyparsons]

@@sonyap8253 he's a good dude but clearly we wanted different things. He wanted to be able to be with all kinds of women. I'm cool with that -from wayyyyy over here. I didn't wanna be in that "line of women".... even if I'm supposed to be at the top. 🙃 So yeah we're just friends.

[@lrs1519]

I seriously thought it was a joke when I heard the all male choir chanting that foolishness. I immediately said “now Daniel you know you need to chill”

[@maybemablemaples2144]

At least the Weekend is going to therapy or something and his music shows that. But I'm so freaking tired of most of these men singing about being absolutely terrible people with no self awareness. Takes me tf out of the vibe and it's the main reason why most of my r&b is just women that aren't completely toxic.

[@ayadhyist]

This aged badly.

[@sheh.9163]

Wait a minute, I thought “Black men don’t cheat” was trending just a few years ago? I guess they finally decided to embrace their toxic behavior 🤔

[@Nmendenh-rl6ej]

Honestly a reflection of the times. Millennials and Gen Z have seen the world crumble around them and STILL think they have all the time in the world. In my late 20s this rhetoric is disheartening.

[@Stopthisrightnow560]

I think it's less we think we have all the time in the world and more we're just sick of the status quo and don't want to break our backs for nothing.

[@tmoneypoleductions9764]

them 90’s babies getting old ,i was born in 2001 n still seeing in the world crumble

[@tanyataylor5530]

You ain't never lied! Honey these men got serious Peter Pan Syndrome. Their friends are dying in their 40s and early 50s and they still can't decide to do right! 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@ninaaden8338]

@@tmoneypoleductions9764 yep. And gen z folk are getting old even quicker. It truly is wild out here.

[@donttalktomeyoureannoying8736]

@@tmoneypoleductions9764 we are all getting old 🤨 does time stop for people born in 2001?

[@ChloGouam692]

Everything was PERFECTLY said. This is actually the main reason I haven’t listened to the radio or Hip-Hop consistently in years. The genre refuses to grow up. So I stay in my R&B and Afrobeats lane with certain artists that sing about love and uplifting women. I’m a huge fan of DVSN and I’m disappointed in them for this one. I actually just entered my 30s about two weeks ago and my boyfriend also turned 30 last week Wednesday. When I tell you I’m glad to not be in these streets dealing with these men and I have a loyal one that makes me feel safe and soft?! I am grateful. Because best believe if I were single I’d stay that way. Or find the right woman since I like women as well 🤣

[@brie1026]

Other '92 babies! Happy belated birthday! I'm turning 30 in August, and I'm single, and I'm staying that way. These men depress & scare me. But I love that you found your boo and that you realize he's a unicorn. If only...

[@ChloGouam692]

@@brie1026 I completely understand. I definitely do love it here and I’m sending out all the soft life energy to all my ladies. We deserve it!

[@TruthSeeker30_]

Another ethnic group controls what is put out

[@FineNaturalHairROCKS]

These RnB dudes are no longer even sexy. I remember back in the day when it was sooo nice to see how romantic and loving and creative the RnB guys were with their ladies. Now, it's clearly just about being as promiscuous and vulgar as possible. It's a hard pass for me. 🛑

[@talisha5863]

Your braids, the outfit, the jewellery are givin Chloe Bailey vibes all day sis…..you look good Kim👸🏽

[@dancingjoy0788]

I think it’s funny that people think Chris brown has grown just because he isn’t punching women in the face anymore. It wasn’t that long ago he was shaming dark skinned women in his song or singing “these hoes ain’t loyal”. He is still very immature and ignorant.

[@thatimokoena8357]

I'm sorry but how would you know that, you don't live with him

[@dancingjoy0788]

@@thatimokoena8357 im basing my statement on his public actions. just like kimberley and everyone else in this comments section is. he shamed black women with kinky hair in his music but his black female fans will still defend him. MESS

[@thetristoneera]

I mean, his name is christopher brown.

[@cindicrose5128]

DVSN is actually such a dope group. They make really good r&b music. I’ve been listening for years. Guess what? They never got this much attention until they made this song. Not sure what that says about us. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@hazelbasil6451]

Yes, controversial opinions get clicks. They know this as well which is why they made the song.

[@flawless4224]

I was shocked to hear it too when they make songs like Greedy and Body Smile that really *seem* like they care about feminine pleasure.

[@kaylovekay]

Okay! They got BANGERS. Sexy ones lol.

[@Genesisonetwentyseven]

I've always loved the music. Maybe they picked up the male fan base at the right time

[@amarjotsingh8455]

I’m disappointed in dvsn…. I miss when we didn’t know what they looked like 😂

[@Kay-kg6ny]

💀

[@shannacollins8371]

I was just talking about this to my bae about this. ESPECIALLY about Chris Brown. People talk a lot of shit about Bruno Mars, but at least he's matured in his sound.

[@thetristoneera]

Matured how, he sounds like michael jackson. :|

[@Alexis-wp7tf]

Not only do I believe a lot of these men are meant to be in non-monogamous relationships and need to stop damaging women who want monogamy so they can live in their truth. From that careless act alone, there is no way they understand the ethics of relationship dynamics such as polyamory or being in an open relationship. Those relationships take an enormous amount of trust and communication and also have boundaries. Both partners partake in emotional/physical relationships with other people, this is not to be mistaken with POLYGAMY which is what these men probably want but because of the stigma they won't say so they either constantly cheat or coerce women to be nonmonogamous like you said.

[@juicyparsons]

yes people really think cheating can be interchanged with polyamory but no....they would still be cheating even by poly standards smh

[@Alexis-wp7tf]

@@juicyparsons exactly, non monogamy is just reshaped boundaries its not that in these relationships no boundaries exist at all!

[@msdiva]

@Morgan S: You speak nothing but straight up FACTS!

[@Alexis-wp7tf]

@@msdiva I try

[@kaylabey]

these new singers want to be rappers soooo badly. that’s why i don’t listen to it. i’ll take my usher, old school chris brown, miguel, frank ocean, donell jones, musiq soulchild, stevie wonder, maxwell and d’angelo any day than give this attention.

[@idontgiveaff]

Me too! 2000s/early 2010s R&B is where it’s at😫

[@Kickinthescience]

Don’t forget Prince

[@kaylabey]

@@Kickinthescience oh damn! and michael jackson. idk how i forgot about them.

[@iamcurtisbryant]

Thanks for mentioning how, people will convince others to go along with their new ideal relationship ship style. As a black queer man myself, I struggle in dating because I do desire something more traditional. I’m not into the idea of being open or poly. And I feel like the dating pool is tainted because so many people have been hurt by trying to adapt to a style that they didn’t desire. So when they meet someone like me, I’m being met with walls and trauma that I had nothing to do with. 😮‍💨 whew!

[@tiaraw872]

I’m sorry you have to deal with that. The reality is a LOT of men are killing women inside, lot of us that desire traditional as well have become harden inside & fearful & taking a man’s word is so hard to do even when his actions match these men still end up being 🚮how you think us women feel out here. It’s hard

[@iamcurtisbryant]

@@tiaraw872 oh! Best believe I understand. I’am not a woman but I have so many women in my life who are struggling to find love for a number of reasons. I also shared in one of Kimberly’s other videos that though I grew up in a 2 parent home and my parents were together for 40+ years. My dad never married my mom and she wanted that and now he’s married to my wonderful bonus mom. So just me I get it 😮‍💨

[@thetristoneera]

You might get lucky, I was well prepared by 19 that I will be alone forever cause this world is dead. I consider this world a prison world, but let me not digress. I'm not relationship oriented & I know how men are. Yet, I got lucky. About to be married for 5 years. Good luck & follow your intuition.

[@iamcurtisbryant]

@@thetristoneera thank you for sharing your story with me 🙌🏾 I will always be a hopeful romantic. Love is so powerful. Congratulations on your relationship! May it continue to thrive and fill you up

[@LOVEISATWOTONTRUCK]

No, disrespect to the guys in their 30's -40's (i.e. our dating pool), but in order to find what I wanted/needed in a relationship I decided to date 20 years older and it worked out.

[@ashleyb.8217]

Plot twist…. Dvsn was saying the exact same thing but slower on their last few albums

[@Kay-kg6ny]

Oop!

[@TheSomethingnew1]

Exactly lmao that first album didn’t strike me as faithful. A lot of toxic lyrics but the songs were beautiful.

[@Marilyninthemedia]

Omg yes Kim! This toxic culture is sickening.

[@MynameisNOTthepoint]

Your videos have been all the life force I’ve needed lately! Your looks have been giving me life as well🥰! Loving this glow🫶🏾

[@CyberStockholmSyndrome]

WHOOOOO WOULD TAKE ANY KIND OF RELATIONSHIP ADVICE FROM NICK GODDAMN CANNON???

[@eajaros]

Just last night I was telling my friend how as a 32 year old I’ve been looking at men in music as father figures my whole life and how there’s a real lack of maturity that I’ve always been aware of and tried to compensate for in other areas. On a fun note, I rewatched when you said you wouldn’t be taken relationship advice from Nick Cannon 5x at least and rofl every time. You’re a Classic!

[@jusletursoulglobaby]

time to adjust papa... looking to entertainers as any kind of figure is risky isnt it? it's not grounded in reality

[@PHlophe]

fella here too. i onno about looking at older brothers in the music industry as potential father figures .They continue to be too messy. . it don't look good when you are 39 with grey hair trying to sound like a teen

[@canesugar911]

@@PHlophe a fool at 40 is a fool forever.

[@tjones2235]

But TD Jakes in these streets telling women to make men feel like "men".

[@soliloquylove2115]

Can you imagine how crazy you’d have to be to want to be knocked down a peg by one of these dudes? TD Jakes’ next book should be ’Woman, Thou Were Loosed - Now Return’. Lol

[@paintitblack9712]

🤣

[@SharayaMW]

Kim, I'm honestly not sure if what we're witnessing is mostly a result of bad, learned behaviors on the part of men (some) where they refuse to unlearn the bad behavior or if they really don't know. I'm not giving it a pass. I can't respect men who not only see particularly black women taking on the load of the home, workplace, spiritual energy, etc and have the nerve to talk down, shame, and disrespect her, but who go the extra mile to deceive and/or take advantage of her. A boomer black male (married) gave me the whole, "these women keep getting in relationships with men and won't make them marry them and have kids by them and everything. . . Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free," BS conversation and I was like again, you're putting all of the weight/moral pressure on the woman and any "man" who operates like that in my opinion is not a respectable man. Maybe he's just a user, or a manipulator, or something else but what kind of respectable man takes and takes and accepts and accepts and gives as less as he possibly can and expects anybody to look at him as any kind of necessary factor? A delusional mf, that's who. At that point, why would a woman care about marriage? For the tax purposes? I'm no longer really trying to figure out the thought process of a "man" who has all of these high expectations for the perfect wife, in a woman when he knows for damn sure he's not giving that back, on the other end. As my girl, Glennon Doyle points out in her book Untamed, there's no prize for being the long-suffering woman. We're not doing that anymore, baby. In the case of Nick Canon, I believe that one day they'll come to the realization that his money ain't it - in the bigger scheme of things. I'll be here for the content once that shoe drops. And these dudes some bull. Look at their faves/idols. #remedial

[@sonyap8253]

You said a whole mouthful! I have been considering doing my thesis on the long term psychological and cultural effects of fatherlessness. We (current adults) have the most fatherless children ever and I think it has affected men and women in deeply negative ways. Women have had to carry the load, men grew up not witnessing men lead and watching women do it all alone and don't get that just because we CAN doesn't mean that is the way it SHOULD be. We also see women realizing we don't need the headache...it is a very interesting point. All the points you made were fire but that stuck out as it is something that has been rolling around in my mind a lot. I grew up in a fatherless home myself.

[@SharayaMW]

@@sonyap8253 Ha! Thanks so much. I really do have time and I work in library services - if you couldn't already tell. Best of luck with your research and I'm honestly happy to help. Something seriously needs to be done. The issues aren't going to fix themselves.

[@Dangerous_Peace]

I endorse cheating back too 🤷🏽‍♀️🙃 and no they aren't listening. They'll be old listening to 4:44 still missing the point.

[@Pbbbb]

Cheat back!!!

[@MynameisNOTthepoint]

Yup.. KTSE is a lifestyle🤭😌

[@marydabiri2713]

I think the reason why they're not listening to 4:44 is because Jay Z still has Beyonce

[@brie1026]

@@marydabiri2713 But isn't that only cuz he's Jay-Z? Lol

[@Dangerous_Peace]

@@Pbbbb drag him through the mud sis! 🤣🤣🤣

[@_PixalatedCvnttery]

I think the R&B sound and music has been forever altered and fractured because of Trap Music. The Trap beats and sound heavily infiltrated and influenced the genre. Now every song has the same old , recycled sound.

[@brittanys5969]

It is very annoying! One thing I loved about early 2000s music is that most songs sounded different but you could still tell that it was hip hop/rap. Now every "rap" song has that same tired trap beat.

[@Ladylovebug26]

Greed and exploitation changed the game..

[@kaelchipz7252]

@@brittanys5969 every mainstream beat honestly. i love rap music but only because i listen to so many different people with so many talented producers.

[@thetristoneera]

True.

[@noellegardner9800]

I found DVSN waaaaayyyyy back in 2016 and I must say while they are VERY talented. And homeboy can sing SINGGGGGG. They’ve been toxic since back then. I was toxic too so it was all a bop lol.

[@iwasbornunderwater]

Love the accountability sis 😅 I'm in the same boat. Back then I'd just put on "A muse" and it made it all okay.

[@ZombalayaQ]

The hearty laugh I let out when she said "that's the unhealed part of me" 🤣🤣🤣

[@Frwill126]

Say my name has credits from all of the original destiny’s child so they all had to clear it. Put some respeck on all the girls names-Kelly, Latavia and Letoya lol

[@Wicked1xX]

I knew you were going to be talking about Dvsn with the title. 1 of the members did a IG live with Queen Naija, debating about the song last night. Their 1st 2 albums are very good. 1st album is the best! There's a story that they are trying to tell, I think, but trash dudes are singing this song in the club with their whole hearts.

[@ashleyb.8217]

I love album number 2

[@cmg25]

Their whole hearts! 🤣

[@TheLalab4]

Moral of the story stay single ladies 😌

[@TheMspoodle2]

I swear I know a wm that is 50 years old that says he wants to be a rapper. He tried to become a rapper with his brother when he was 20, but it didn't workout. I was so shock, and he doesn't want a serious relationship with anyone. These men are so lost mentally. Men like him might wanna settle down when they're 70 or 80, but that will be too late then.

[@missi7196]

Lmao @ "that's the unhealed side of me" I felt that 🤣

[@wilkersonarielle]

That DVSN song was not the move, I laughed when I heard it.

[@ninamosley]

cackled!! okay? what a waste of a song cry sample. Idk why Jay Z approved that smh. DVSN has done way better!

[@kimberley3577]

cheating back is not toxic though lol its just aligning yourself with the new dynamics your partner has introduced.

[@jward498]

Sis said REMEDIAL 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣I'm weak! But this made me think about the pivot that Jason Derulo did too!

[@joeyjose727]

It’s not an open relationship unless you’re upfront from the start… or if you Both agree to it Otherwise you’re just cheating 😭

[@somethingaboutnay6019]

Men don’t like to say anything cause they wanna feel like they have game. Many ppl always wanna keep something to themselves but I feel like if it’s something so close to home and obviously hurtful to someone else then it’s not about game anymore it’s about control and manipulation which is not a nice trait hence why most women are cautious around men because men usually have these traits as they don’t want to give into women, open up to women, or feel whipped by women. Loool the relationship between men and women is definitely a rollercoaster of crazy! Things would be so much easier but we make it so darn hard

[@LookinAtHim]

5:58 "This is the dating pool, you guys!" How is this "the dating pool" when most BM don't even like BW?! They may be your dating pool, but you sure as heck ain't theirs! 🤣

[@happypeople3746]

And i opp- 😳 U right tho

[@babykekse5137]

The last male RnB artist I connected to was Bryson Tiller. This was around the time of Exchange and I remember thinking he had a real vulnerability. TRAPSOUL had toxicity, but it had tenderness too.

[@InMarieNailz]

Same, but he failed to give us another good album

[@aspyn.j_]

most of them just want the power to abuse and oppress their partner because it's all they've seen growing up, in popular media and among their friend groups. thassit.

[@Msladyrae92]

You keep me in the loop Kim lol

[@Stopthisrightnow560]

I've lately been recommended a lot of your videos and I just want to say thank you for educating me on a lot of nuanced black issues. You're such a badass. I love it.

[@TheUsername777777]

Yes the arrested development is real!

[@kennethiavail1719]

I love the theatricals!! I just adore you Kimberly. Literally my favorite creator.

[@stephanieokoli7205]

Yo Kim, you are so funny. I'm cracking up watching this😂.

[@GoddesssofMind]

I’m 33 I’ve always called these kind of men man child Th industry breeds tha culture Toxic men and having to take no accountability in they actions or image They always gave off those vibes Not surprising

[@mabel9701]

I’m not supporting these artists’ music for now about 10 years and it feels so good. They are toxic, misogynoir, sexist and delusional.

[@girlonline9038]

Been listening to you every morning! Before I go to work. Your insight is amazing!! Thankyou for bringing a peace of mind!!

[@annoyedbyyourface]

"That's the unhealed part of me!" We love a self-aware content creator lol.

[@lolom166]

Contributing to pensions and IRA!! Yes, ridiculousness. 😩😩

[@anthonygordonjr4314]

Kim you are cranking the videos out !! I love it. Keep up the consistent work !!!

[@Word-Smithy]

Ms. Foster -- you are on a roll!!

[@princessbri121]

This was so beautifully said. Like you literally took my thoughts and made a video. Everything about these days just…..it’s disappointing.

[@alishainc]

Very true, peter pan syndrome. Ps we Canadians don't say Eh or aboot... It's such a weird stereotype lol we say "sorry" for everything though

[@bellaboomz]

Fellow Canadian over here 🙋🏾‍♀️ living in the Toronto, I def hear “eh” all the time lol

[@briantbmoth6472]

I had a Canadian contractor, he said eh, aboot, and sorry!

[@pamelaison7380]

It's the way you mix cold hard facts with sheer humor for me🤣🤣☠️☠️👻👻👍🏾👍🏾

[@conniechoward]

I’m excited for your uploads like I used to be for hit topics.

[@alexiabest9911]

Yes i believe in cheating back then leaving. Like nigga please you aint going have 1 up on me.

[@nix2747]

Remedial is the best way to describe everything that is happening in the social zeitgeist right now.

[@TheBob666smith]

Love you all of ti!!! Keep it coming!!!!!!

[@Affectionately-Jayee]

You just introduced me to DVSN let alone If I Get Caught lmao all i can do is laugh hysterically because wtf 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@inicole47]

I’ve noticed that I don’t listen to any male r&b artists really, it’s the female r&b artists that have been doing it for me. Drake fell off awhile ago for me. Guess I turned into the lyric of liking the old drake

[@axim08]

As a fan of dvsn’s catalog generally… this doesn’t live up to their prior discography. I hope they course correct.

[@oliviafarrahfowler]

My friend said after they collaborated with Future this is what we got.

[@fhenlizhao5406]

@@oliviafarrahfowler 🤣FUTURE! Mr. No apologies himself.

[@lebbiemom]

You did that Kimberly! Say that! Well said my good sis!

[@millyh4660]

I love DVSN’s music. I haven’t heard that song and the snippet is no giving 🤣🤣

[@lovekeyz]

dvsn has been making music about women complaining about how emotionally unavailable and toxic Daniel is for years. I immediately think about Nuh Time/Tek Time and No Good, but regardless he's entirely too old to still be talking about this. Also, as someone who is ethically non-monogamous, the men still find a way to cheat. Cheating is more about deception, evading accountability, and completely disregarding equality & equity within relationships for millennial men than being with multiple people.

[@redmaple1982]

Having been a lurker of the drama around Franklin Veaux I can't help but conclude that poly with straight men cannot work. The structure ends up resembling an acient greek style of patriarchy where one man runs amok leaving several emotionaly devastating women in his wake. They cater to his needs while he looks for new an exciting ways to violate their boundaries.

[@ChristinaLove844]

Yassss to you stanning Dru Hill!