The OBSESSION with asking single women about marriage | Tracee Ellis Ross Interview

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[@KimberlyNicoleFoster89]

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[@desireawinton9745]

Not every woman want to be married, some people will be with anyone just to say they got a man! Not all women is like that having a man to say my man this or that, my husband this or that and it is not because they are gay, like women ect... women is not obsessed with having a husband period! Married is not for everyone and people should mind their own when other women don' t jump into a marriage or relationship! Really a independent woman only need a man for sex, or to do things together no strings attached. People get married for the wrong reasons most of the time anyway. People shouldn't be telling women they need to have more kids either, its like they want other women to be in their situation! People should mind their own d@m business and quit asking women person sh!t anyway!!

[@whyworkwhenicanrap6830]

I don’t think Kevin hart knows who you are

[@DSN430]

It's the way a famously terrible husband was pressuring a famously happy single woman for me. The audacity.

[@bronzebomber814]

That part plain and simple

[@Singer_and_Songwriter]

👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿

[@deliteful1991]

It’s just a matter of time he embarrasses her again🙄

[@AllIAm1]

THE GALL

[@TreniaP]

I had to stop watching the interview, tbh and I like Kevin Hart for the most part. The questioning was ridiculous and made me cringe.

[@mc-ge2bt]

Kevin, a man who publicly embarrassed TWO wives and he is telling another women to marry? Dude. BUT it shows what a therapist told a friend of mine who is in marriage counseling with her husband. Men benefit more from marriage and men are generally more happy while married. Not all (for sure) but here is another example of men only seeing things through their own window.

[@ClearandHealthyBoundaries]

Preach! I was thinking the same thing before I went to play the video. I wished she'd comfronted him on it but then the interview would've been over. 🤣

[@malakcanvas]

Right! I wouldn't have even graced him with my presence!

[@Zikomo7]

Right. Men complain because they can’t sleep around and will suffer if women leave them. But otherwise it’s more to their advantage

[@tessynn2906]

It's seems that men are the only humans more worried about women "dying alone". It's crazy how they're obsessed with our marriage status.

[@drranger4210]

THIS RIGHT HERE!

[@courtneygilbert852]

Why do people refuse to acknowledge how exhausting all relationships-family, friends, romantic partners-are. Even when they’re good, great, fantastic! It’s still tiring to share space, consider others, process emotions, communicate, think proactively. Singleness provides a real break from the world of relationships and connectivity in general. You can’t beat walking around in your underwear, stretching out fully in a bed, not having to explain yourself to anyone.

[@Lynn.B.]

Well said!

[@nae7988]

Exactly!! When you're single, you answer to no one but yourself. When you are in a relationship, you are not responsible for the emotional well-being of another but you do play a big role in it, and that can be very tiring and taxing. Being single and child-free is freeing in way only those who are know.

[@chacha2321]

I love the part “ not having to explain yourself.” This is what a lot of people don’t know the feeling of. Relationships require upkeep and this can be a handful. It has its perks but so does being single. I had a five year relationship and my ex wanted to get back together. I declined I can’t explain it but I was dying to have my freedom. I was faithful and I don’t really date around. However, having to answer to someone is annoying asf.

[@chacha2321]

@@nae7988 exactly, some ppl envy it. This is why they place so much pressure on you. It’s like y’all made y’all choices, let me make mines.

[@courtneygilbert852]

@@Lynn.B. the work you do to be accountable doubles, triples almost even in a healthy relationships. And it’s still more than most can stomach.

[@KaimaVixen]

Single shaming is real. I’m Single, but not by choice. It’s just been really hard for me to find a decent partner that actually is a good human being.

[@smilealwaysnatasha3423]

Same!

[@aspiring...]

Me too. It's extremely frustrating and draining trying to find someone. I am also shamed for not meeting when I was younger, for not meeting someone at university or at work.

[@PinkCloudsClown]

None of these males are good human beings, I learned the hard way.

[@drranger4210]

I would say that is absolutely by choice. Choosing to care for yourself/protect your peace and not settle for bullshit is the best choice we will all ever make!

[@tommyt264]

I've been single shamed throughout my teens and early 20s, mostly by guys. My male cousins, step-brother, and male friends used to tease me because they never saw me with a girlfriend during that time. I was an introverted guy who was never a skirt chaser but always pursuing his dreams going to school and work. Hell, I was still a virgin throughout college. Fast forward today, and i'm engaged in my early 30s to a beautiful woman and having a huge career and owning a nice house. Those guys who teased back in the day- some of them still live with their mom, some have baby mamas they're no longer with, some still struggling in the dating scene. And guess what. My fiancee looks better than all of their women LOL. My point is that a lot of the people doing the shaming are not even winning. Try not to let the shaming affect you but keep living your dreams. Patience is a virtue and the right person will come along. But make sure you put yourself out there in the dating market to be discovered by that person and not rely on luck. Finding someone that you're compatible with takes work. I was in the dating pool at some point and it's full of pis....umm...urine.

[@RayRay-yt1ly]

Kimberly, say it again for those in the back, "relationships are ONLY worth it if it makes your life BETTER!" 💥🔥👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@mapiluna9414]

when she said that, it all made SENSE! it's UNBELIEVABLE that this concept is so hard for people to grasp when it should be THE general mindset to live by.

[@scj3188]

That's true of All relationships, family and friends included.

[@amab1853]

Preach 🤗

[@NallahBrown]

Factssssssss

[@charnaeyoung9815]

A serial cheater trying to make a happy single woman walk a straight married line is ironic as hell. Lol. Don’t give me any advice if your name starts with Kevin and ends with Hart.

[@CapricornMoonGoddess]

😂🤣😂

[@charnaeyoung9815]

@@CapricornMoonGoddess Hey fellow CAPRICORN !💕

[@CapricornMoonGoddess]

@@charnaeyoung9815 hey girl hey 🙂 now I see where you get your wit from!

[@ikexbankai]

Didn’t he almost die trying to cheat lol. That’s not funny. Lol

[@Xara_K1]

That's exactly what I thought when I watched that interview. I was like *"YOU MAKE BEING MARRIED LOOK LIKE A CHORE, KEVIN!"*

[@_KayBee_]

“Y’all don’t make being a Wife look fun, y’all brag about it but you don’t make it look like a good time…” Akikikiiiii 🤭😭😭😭

[@SCFLEUR]

I love Tracee Ellis Ross just living her life unapologetically.

[@desireawinton9745]

I don"t blame her, she probably haven't found that right person and sometime you may think you have, then somewhere down the line he turns out to not be sh!t!

[@scj3188]

I feel like a lot of women get married just for the status symbol of saying she's some man's wife. It's respectability politics 🙄.

[@amab1853]

Yes that's what it's about. It's to do what society thinks is acceptable for women

[@desireawinton9745]

True that, cause I get tired of hearing my husband this or that it is so boring!

[@ktw70]

Yup!

[@reneishabrooks5187]

"Y'all don't make being a wife look fun" #Amen lol

[@amab1853]

Yup. They sure don't. So many moms & wives seem burned out and have lost themselves. But they think they are "better than single women"

[@nikmariealex]

I'm 30, never been in a relationship, never been on a date, and the saints and my very Jamaican family believe I'm either a lesbian or now "too intimidating for men and need to lower myself" (their words). But truly now that I'm in therapy, I'm just ready to be me and not what was expected of me. If marriage happens it happens, if kids happen, it happens, if it doesn't, I won't feel incomplete. But that bothers them when I say it.

[@APTTMHYforever]

Went through something similar but I was only in my early 20s when they use to openly make all those assumptions My father actually flat out asked me if I was a lesbian (which is cool, but I’m not) it’s weird what people assume just because someone doesn’t date or never been in a relationship Meanwhile, ALL of my cousins (21 first cousins) had at least 1 child out of wedlock and my sister’s children are from 2 different men. I will continue to wait and be picky. I don’t want to be a single parent and I definitely don’t want to get a divorce. I date but never had a long term relationship and I’m 37. Love takes time… anything worth having is worth waiting for. Follow you heart AND mind. God bless you

[@aspiring...]

I'm 29 and never been in a relationship. I would like one but I am a late bloomer and I find dating extremely draining and difficult. I have been on dates and all my experiences have been negative. People don't understand.

[@liizzset]

Same girl. Same. Except for two years old than you. And agree. If it happens, it happens.

[@ennvee1989]

Same but im 33. It's crazy because the people who tell me to settle down with anybody are NOT in a happy committed relationship. Kids out of wedlock, cheating partner etc...I think they just want us to struggle like they are. How dare we have standards?

[@nikmariealex]

@@ennvee1989 this is what gets me, the women with ghost husbands or community husbands saying "you're getting older you need to focus on getting a man," ... Yeah how's that working for you? You're working all day and your 35+ men are "servicing" anyone willing to take them...

[@Chaka_Davis]

"Auditioning for the role of wife" sounds too much like "we hide our flaws until after the wedding".

[@dancingjoy0788]

i was having a conversation with one of my married friends. i told her i had no desire to get married because married life doesn't seem appealing to me. she seemed offended...as though i was taking a personal jab at her. she then proceeded to spend the next 30 minutes trying to convince me why i should want to get married. completely forgetting the previous conversations we've had where she told me how verbally abusive her husband was, how he was drug addict when they first met, how his family hates her, etc, etc. like sis...all you do is complain about marriage and then when i make some casual comment about not wanting to marry because it's not for me personally...you get defensive lol. i feel like some married people hate to see single people out and about enjoying their single lives. they want us to be envious of their lives and want what they have. but like...we don't lol.

[@amab1853]

Well said! Alot of them are unhappy but they think they are better than single women

[@jamilafever8110]

I get this a lot. I'm like ma'am...I'm not the one complaining with every meet up. Lol you are...no thanks!

[@ThePrincina]

Literally ALL of this

[@chacha2321]

She projecting her insecurities on you. Set her ass straight, y’all are talking about the things you desire and it doesn’t have to align with her ass. She doesn’t have the self love that you have. She is envious and wants you to envy her. I would drop the connection with her. People like that don’t want to see someone do better than them.

[@chacha2321]

@@ThePrincina indeed

[@lesliewit]

I think the obsession with questioning single women has more to do with the fact that men are very aware that they do not do well on their own and are confronting a world in which women are not obligated to depend upon them for anything other than a good vibe every once in awhile. And you don't marry or legally join your life with someone over a good vibe. They know that we know that we are perfectly fine without them, and a lot of them really try and get in our heads about that. It's the social emotional manipulation for me. Forget about getting your money up, get your psychological skills up.🤣🤣🤣

[@chasonjohn2052]

This comment deserves an organ praise break

[@Pellow-princess]

@Leslie Witherspoon I need your comment printed out and framed on my wall. The way in which my dad and brothers rely on my mom and I to cook and clean for them is insane. Like my dad has never cooked a meal in his life, for himself on anyone else.

[@ilikepizza7211]

This wasn’t said by me but there’s a saying that “marriage is for men” since men greatly benefit from marriage way more then women. There was a also a study saying that single women live longer then married women and men live longer when their married then single. Im glad more women are fine with staying single because of the fact that we now realize that we most likely will take all the burden of the marriage. Personally for me as Kimberley said I would only be in a relationship if I greatly benefit from it and if it doesn’t happen I’m perfectly fine with jt

[@whatwasisaying1338]

Fair points. I appreciate the strides women made-and continue to make-for equality and independence. The "questioning of single" women (at least for me) came from curiosity vs deep-seated insecurity. Growing up in The South, I was taught women desire-and saw several aspire to-marriage. After years of learning and maturity, I see being single as a choice we're free to make. On the flip side, as a 36 y/o Black man I've been asked "why aren't you married" as well. I'd prefer to wild out and play my Xbox without a care in the world. 🤣

[@annettethompson8101]

social emotional manipulation...wow, wow, wow. That's brilliant. Well said.

[@ManUntdForever]

The pressure placed on hetero women to become a wife and to be pursued by men has led many women to settle for less than ideal situations they should have never been in. I’ve seen way too many dysfunctional marriages in my lifetime to know that if you don’t choose your spouse well, it can ruin your life in big and small ways. ETA: why does the discussion of marriage almost NEVER include prenuptial agreements? The idea of getting married (or live-in common law) without any form of legal protection BEFOREHAND is especially foolish. You don’t need to be a millionaire or a billionaire to require a prenup from your partner before enmeshing yourselves legally and financially.

[@oshin33anika]

Beautifully written.

[@PoMamaSid]

This is why I was continually asked if I was a lesbian for so many years

[@MichelleNgome]

I do encourage prenuptial agreements but that doesn't protect from the mental and emotional toll many women and/or men go through in an unhealthy marriage.

[@Bliv285]

YES

[@AIBot929]

I support prenuptial agreement as well, especially when you get older. While I'd want a marriage to be forever, I can't guarantee I'll be the same sane rational person in a divorce because I might want to go scorched earth and vice versa

[@BriaDeanna127]

"I am not interested in auditioning for the role to be a wife" As a current wife who is madly in love, I FEEL this statement! When I was getting married, people would say I can't believe "your going to be a wife" or "Can you imagine Bria as a wife". They made it seem like it was a job or a position, not a partnership. My marriage is as Chimananda Ngozi Adichie would describe "a source of Joy and love and mutual support" They are parts of it that we are in service to each other but not out of a role or a character, but out of partnership and based on our strengths and needs. Like I cook he cleans. My ADHD is not here for the cleaning and organization lol. I'm passionate about my career and he supports me in every way he can and would never consider making me confirm to what society says a role of a wife should be.

[@thewisdomdivatv]

It’s possible! But there are those who would think you’re in denial or not being completely honest. I think you know yourself and what you want and let the right partner fit into that organically. One MUST know one’s self. Accept that we are all problematic in some way and the institution of marriage, society, the other person have little to do with the issues that make relationships difficult. A true friend, a partner who loves you will show you yourself. Your kids will show you yourself. But we have the issue with marriage and kids in general and never do the work on us so that we’re able to have the kind of relationships and lives we really want. Congrats to you and hubby..

[@BriaDeanna127]

@@thewisdomdivatv The Key to my happy marriage was definitely happiness in my singleness.

[@anitasimpson2883]

.

[@Xara_K1]

I was single for 8 years and people literally acted as though I had lost a couple of limbs in an unfortunate accident and was due compensation. I had a great job, owned a home, had a nice car, had a higher degree and was able to travel. I wasn't and still am not rich, but I was and am very comfortable and really happy but all anyone stressed about was my being single. A few years ago I met my now-fiance and people don't understand when I say we aren't there to fill voids, we are there to add to each other. We were genuine friends for a few years before we got together and he had done a lot of work on himself, as had I, and when we got together, it was with someone I legit genuinely like as well as love. But what I notice is that many people want partners out of the need to feel validated and wanted and that creates a lot of the dysfunction we see in relationships.

[@TheMichelex20]

I love your whole commentary. Especially the part of someone not being there to fill a void. I’ve never been able to articulate it that way. You have given me the words. I can relate to everything you said and I’ve been single for 4 years. Wish you the best on your journey of life.

[@4everJenn]

🎯 Preach!

[@callmecanolli322]

Not a single lie detected here.

[@chanelmapendo3761]

Misery loves company is literally what defines most of these relationships and marriages.

[@ayanomar1408]

I am jelouse of the life you had as a single woman😂🙌🏾

[@noirefit5954]

I’m 27 and been married twice. Marriage isn’t for the faint of heart. One ended because he had an affair, the other because he was abusive. I got married hella young. Obviously I can’t pick ‘em well lmbo. I’m good. Happily single mom of 1 and FINALLY feeling like I’m living my best life. I don’t know if I’d go down the aisle again. I have ptsd from those two marriages lol.

[@lettucelive]

Congrats to you for being on the other side and finding joy ❤️❤️

[@Xara_K1]

I love you for walking away and not allowing yourself to be stigmatized. It's people like u who show self love. I hope you find (or are in) your own iteration of happiness

[@ClearandHealthyBoundaries]

🫂

[@noirefit5954]

@@Xara_K1 thank you. I believe I really have found happiness in the life I created. I don’t regret either marriage, they taught me to love myself and never stand for bs.

[@noirefit5954]

@@lettucelive thank you!!!

[@MichelleNgome]

1. I like Kevin Hart, but a habitual cheater asking a woman why she is single is not it. I'm sure the people want to know, but she discusses this all the time. 2. I hate defending my singleness. It's like I fall short of having the whole package. 3. Kim nailed it when she said you brag about it...I know women who have rushed into marriage lost their identity and end up unhappy. Society has put too much pressure on women to seek marriage by any means necessary. 4. We need to hear more men share their views on marriage or singleness.

[@welikelethabo]

Completely agree with everything u said ❤️

[@donnietobasco9791]

I'm a guy whose been happily married for 30 + years. In this day and age however, I would not recommend marriage (as a happiness pursuit) to either young men or young women nowadays. Even a happy, healthy relationship requires concessions and a level of selfless bonding that IMHO, not many folk are primed for. The impulse to have children and the impulse to have fleeting intimacies still drive men and women towards eachother.....but the ability to convert this into happy, stable relationships which bear mutual fidelity and longevity is not something I think modern people know how to do. Better to be "single" than be with somebody who makes you unhappy. People who harass you about your marital status, seldom do so because they care about your happiness. They do it for other reasons....none of which are really anybody's business but your own.

[@MichelleNgome]

@@donnietobasco9791 Thank you for sharing.

[@Singer_and_Songwriter]

@@donnietobasco9791 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿

[@SmallBobby]

The nerve of that man-child. Tracee is far more classy than I will ever be, bc she handled it so well.

[@TheLily97232]

Recently I went on a date with a dude, 29 I am 24, he told me to hurry while I am young to find someone because he knows sad 45 year old rich independent but must be lonely women. What I realized is that people like this wish you misery for you to get in their own agenda. It's not for you, it's for the man. Plus the expression itself to express this idea : "perky boobs are just for a while" WTF DOES THAT MEAN???

[@swiitdoll]

I hope u ghosted him. Perky boobs stay perky until childbirth. Childbirth ruins womens bodies

[@seethefuture24680]

Perv

[@featherplucker]

This resonates so much with me. I’m 31 and a single mom to a 9 year old and have not been in a relationship in 8 years. People always ask me “don’t you want a father for your child?” “Don’t you want to be married?” As if my child’s father isn’t active with her (and he is). It’s annoying because people will overlook all of my life, financial and career successes… all because I don’t have a husband to share it with. I set up a trust fund for my child with assets she will inherit from what I’ve worked hard for, just purchased my second home and working on doing land investments. I travel frequently and generally live a pretty care free life. I have everything I could want: a healthy, beautiful and intelligent child, good health for myself and wealth. As much as I love LOVE, I don’t feel it necessary to NEED a partner and marriage. It’s just not on the list of priorities for me. Thanks for all the content that you put out. So happy that I found your channel!

[@marianar2948]

Seems to be me that you're living a perfect life! Keep your focus, I completely subscribe to your words 👏

[@AminaPhilosophy]

Marriage is not for the woman to seek. I prefer to say that I have not agreed to marry anyone yet. This way the burden of obtaining commitment falls on the men who must jump through hoops to impress me.

[@tommyt264]

Sounds like you're doing great financially and you're raising your child well and all. I'm 32 and doing well financially too. Probably not as well as you since you bought your 2nd home already at 31 and i'm still on my first house that I just bought a few years ago. You may disagree with me on this but I feel like we NEED that significant other in our lives. I'm engaged soon to be married this fall. Its something about coming home to my fiancée everyday after a long day of work that makes my life more fulfilling. My job pays me alot. It allows me to own a home, own 2 cars, and travel. But if I lose my job and my home, yeah I would struggle in the beginning but i'll always find a way to rebound. It's only material stuff afterall. If I lose my wife.... nevermind. I don't have kids yet but I can imagine raising kids can be both a challenging but a rewarding and fulfilling experience. But I understand that kids will eventually grow up and live a life of their own, away from you. And who are you left with? Your significant other. Having land, trusts funds, houses and cars, stocks, and all that stuff is cool and all but they're no substitute to having a great significant other that complements you in every way. That's why I think I NEED my signficant other.

[@swiitdoll]

@@tommyt264 some of us want to go home to peace and quiet. With the way married men are cheating out here. I’m good. My dad also abandoned the family. I want none of that bullshit my mental health is too fragile. I just travel and finishing my masters to qualify as a nurse. I’m 27 and must buy a home at 31, then work part time and travel the work. 12 countries so far ✈️. I don’t mind a part time partner, we just have to live apart in our Separate houses, I’m also childfree .

[@florencee3324]

This is such goalssss 😍 congrats on all your achievements x

[@meldoesnails7682]

Once I realized that I didn't want to birth another kid it made me evaluate why I even wanted to be married. At 41 my best life would be sharing a duplex with my significant other. Companionship, support and SPACE.💗💗💗

[@MaxineShaw_84]

Sign. Me. UP ✍🏿🥂

[@user-dv3kq3rm4h]

How refreshing that this is a space where you can say this without being vilified. I'm growing really tired of acerbic bw spaces online. They remind me of toxic victim blaming elder relatives of a bygone generation. I've been taking a step back from certain channels and feel like I can breathe.

[@Luna-kb3sr]

Amen! I’m 45 and have never been married. I do have three children who are almost grown. I’m good. I want a relationship with lots of space from him when needed but love 🥰

[@kikicinza]

Absolutely! I’m down with being neighbors with my significant other.

[@brittmar538]

Yes to the duplex

[@teyianneful]

When someone asks why I'm single I always reply "I'm overqualified" shuts em down everytime! Mindyobizness

[@NallahBrown]

This is a good one

[@alphacharm]

I don’t believe in marriage. I’ve seen so many fake happy relationships to the point where I don’t want it. I also love my freedom and my space.

[@CapricornMoonGoddess]

I had to hit like just because of the title lol. People act like something is wrong with me for being comfortable being single. Have they seen the dating pool these days? Lol

[@candacewalker5008]

It’s not a dating “pool”. It’s a toilet.

[@CapricornMoonGoddess]

@@candacewalker5008 right lol

[@undaunted1065]

@@candacewalker5008 Lol😂 True. But even that is being to kind. Because some toilets are cleaned extremely well. It's more like a public port-a-potty at a festival that never ever gets cleaned.

[@jozzz222]

Exactly lol 😂 you’re a Capricorn so am I lol and we really don’t fall for the okey doke

[@CapricornMoonGoddess]

@@jozzz222 exactly...we don't feel the need to be in a relationship just to be in one...if it doesn't make sense we don't want it lol

[@Kelema86]

I love how unbothered Traycee is with Kevin’s attempts at making it seem like something is wrong with Traycee for not being married and not wanting to be.

[@icemeoutlikeelsa]

I tell my 33 year old sister this all the time after we've both seen our other sisters and the men they've had to deal with in marriage, it's better to still be single than to put yourself through hell and back just to say you've tried it.

[@ayanomar1408]

me telling my sister this exact same thing! very FEW are men I have seen in my whole life who are worthy of walking down the isle for

[@iciajay6891]

And saves you so much money and strife.

[@nimahoni]

Amen Sis!

[@ayanomar1408]

I have been married 8 years and after two kids I am actually the one advising women to not get married or have kids because of the pressure of society because Yikes! you cant take it back😅 please dont commit to catering to a man and kids for the rest of your life if you are not fully ready and prepared to take on that roll. in another life I would have stayed single and enjoyed the responisbility free life. I laughed so hard when Kim said yall dont make it fun I legit replayed “it is not fun 50% of the time”😂😂😂

[@ayanomar1408]

@Leah only date someone who has similar mentality, do not tolerate men who just want to “kick it” a man knows if you are the one for him and it doesnt take more than 3 months max. always make sure to take care of yourself because you also have to be healed and happy in order for a man to add to your life. wish you best of men

[@ChrissyPoo516]

As a product of a 2 parent home (Mom & Dad were married for 36 years until my father's death) I use to dream of the white picket fence life. But, I'm a 34 year old single woman with no kids and am enjoying TF out of my life!! I'm naturally a loner and thoroughly enjoy my independence but Id also absolutely would love to get married and have at least one child...but ONLY like Tracee said; a relationship that is going to add and be beneficial to my life. PERIOD. 💯

[@lutchien]

Good. I'm happy for you, keep going.

[@banefulbty]

You can have autonomy in a relationship, but it's hard to find someone who also wants that. I didn't believe in marriage for a very long time. I finally got with someone that didn't make me feel like I was giving up my independence. However, it's not for everybody. You can be single and happy af.

[@mademoiselle_milla]

🎯🎯🎯

[@AllIAm1]

Yup. There’s a pot for every lid. Just gotta find the right person and everything will kind of make sense then

[@fayfayb06]

Yup. When I got with my now husband I was terrified of "losing" myself because honestly wives made it sound terrible. I've been married 4 years now and it's been the best 4 years so far.

[@PinkCloudsClown]

Why do people want single women to be married in the first place especially when they’re strangers? Society will never not be odd to me.

[@Siansonea]

_"Nobody's going to want you!"_ "Okay. What's the downside?"

[@pynklady11]

call me selfish or noncommittal but marriage is so overrated I'm so over people really believing women really need ownership

[@Luna-kb3sr]

This!!!

[@othelliusmaximus]

Sounds reasonable tbh

[@Les_lee]

Im good on marriage. Granted i am 50. I have been in a long term relationship for 8 plus years. He lives in his house, i live in mine. The most time we have ever spent together was this year when we flew to Mexico for my sons wedding. That was four nights. On average we spend two nights a week together and I probably see him four out of seven days. Its perfect.

[@sodamnsexy16]

This is so sweet to me 😩

[@dannygirl629]

I don’t know you but I love this for you! It’s sounds really nice.

[@web-angel]

I like that.

[@geneinnewade1278]

This is what I want. I’ve been married before. I’m good on that.

[@Kay-kg6ny]

See this what im tryna have, you out here living the dream. Idk why people act like the only two options are either a traditional marriage or completely loveless gender antagonism.

[@AnnabelleLeeTx]

I got 2 older sisters that aren't married either. Seemed like a lot of extra work for women with little benefit. We're going to live together when we get older like the golden girls lol

[@ClearandHealthyBoundaries]

Awwww!

[@fredaowusu-agyapong421]

This is the problem. Women doing 80% men 20%

[@malakcanvas]

This is smart. I wish my elder aunts got to live together during old age, they probably would have been happier. Also wish I had sisters to live with, too.

[@callmecanolli322]

Living with a bunch of women is my personal hell.

[@quirkyblackenby]

@@malakcanvas you could live with your friends if they’re not super focused on romantic relationships

[@kkimsey5866]

"I would do a domestic partnership for some health insurance." 🤣 Actually, that's an excellent point. Way to find an upside!

[@a.c.n.9421]

I love being single and live my life fully. I’m also a digital nomad and so many people are shocked that I HAPPILY travel by myself. I find that being in a romantic relationship ISN’T fun unless the other person is a really great friend and adds to you. Otherwise, for me, romantic relationships are extremely stressfully and unnecessary.

[@taraspeaks6293]

I have been married for over 20 years and I am and remain extremely happy 😊 while simultaneously respecting my single friends. I respect ppl in general and want nothing but the best and pray for everyone's emotional wellness. Therefore if marriage is for you great and the single life is also great. There is no need to judge anyone. Just meet and respect one another for their decisions.

[@chacha2321]

This!!!!

[@mademoiselle_milla]

Exactly!!!

[@deliteful1991]

But if everyone had this mindset.

[@debrabelton3161]

I couldn’t agree more!

[@rosedalinevaletine6931]

Thank you for this comment! I’m tired of married and dating people telling me I need to remain single bc their relationship is horrible-as if that’s what I also desire. Or people telling me I need to put up with the horrible options out here and take what I can get, like I don’t deserve all that I’ve ever desired!! It’s horrible out here, and at the end of the day, I just wish happiness for everyone, however we define that happiness.

[@elenakalliste]

Most women are happier when they have the resources to live alone.

[@janaynmelis5250]

I laughed so hard when you said that the married girls don't make it look fun 😂. I never aspired to marriage and also don't believe that it's necessary. I look for an equal partner which is what I have in my relationship with my husband. I have my autonomy and he knows I'm going to participate in the same hobbies and be the same person as before. It's hard to find someone like that but thankfully I did.

[@ClearAbyss]

I'm so glad I seemed to have peeped this way early in life. I've known I never want kids since I was a kid lol. Literally 8, 9, and 10 knowing I didn't want them. I also knew that I wasn't super interested in marriage. I wouldn't say I'll never get married, but it's pretty unlikely. I would need an amazing person who wants to be in a healthy, loving, relationship with their equal. None of this submission shit, not me doing all the emotional labor, pulling pretty much all the weight; playing cook, maid, therapist, sex toy, accountant, etc. but being expected to diminish myself to make someone else feel bigger. Never that. Marriage, and "romantic" relationships in general are one of the biggest cons that all societies have run on women since time immemorial. Very few are actually worth it. Sure there have always been men that are "ahead of their time", i.e. treating women like equal humans, but they are scarce. The amount of women who have been successfully programmed to toe the line and are deep in sunk cost fallacy doesn't help.

[@Rosie20102]

I feel like society makes it okay for men to be single no matter what age they are. They’re able to date and do as they please at any age. But women are expected to be married before 30 or there must be something wrong with them.

[@CoachLove]

As if there is something wrong with being single or being child free… Took me a long time to get to this mindset and not getting into a situation just to say I had a “relationship.” I’m all right being single and not hollering, “I’s married now.” New subscriber!

[@chacha2321]

This is a real flex 💪

[@misskris117]

Girrrl, that part!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🎯🎯

[@lstarsabb]

It's the people that get offended when I say I don't want to get married or have kids for me. I'm not going around saying your stupid for getting married or having kids I just saying I don't want that. That doesn't mean I don't get happy when friends and family get married or I'm plotting to ruin relationships. If you want that lifestyle I'm happy for you and I'd never judge you for it. I'd just like the same energy.

[@beewest5704]

Ppl fear what is different & do not understand even though you being unmarried & childless doesn't affect their lives in the least. Weird AF.

[@drranger4210]

What Tracee said is what I've been saying for the longest! I am a couples therapist and a sex addiction therapist... I know EXACTLY what I'm not finna do. I can only accept a value add. Also... I have long been a proponent of the dual-household marriage. I really don't want to share a home lol... maybe I'll find my unicorn who is willing to do that with me!

[@Lynn.B.]

I feel the same!

[@christinawalker96]

SAME!!!!

[@cicely2084]

I also desire a partnership in which we have our separate homes. When I am in a relationship I love being with my partner, but I equally love my own space. I’m hopeful my like-minded person is out there!

[@rosedalinevaletine6931]

Yes, except for the dual household. I’m all for separate bedrooms, but it’s more like I have a bedroom but I still sleep with you in yours (physical touch is a big thing for me).

[@iwasbornunderwater]

I remember being so excited sharing this exact thought with my then girl friends. Excitedly telling them I'd like to have an adjoined duplex with my partner and my excitement was greeted with crickets 😄 As a freelance writer I really need my space with my thoughts and cannot imagine sharing the same space 24 hrs, every day, with a partner.

[@gemmisco]

People feel like a woman cannot be happy unless she’s in a relationship.

[@PrettyPrincess9609]

What’s sad is that there are so many women who cannot live without a man. I knew a girl in highschool who acted like she couldn’t be single for even a few months. It’s normalized for women to jump from one relationship to the next yet single women who are happy being alone are shamed. I’m not saying there is something wrong with wanting love. I’m in a relationship myself but something is wrong if you can’t be happy by yourself not even for a few months and you place your value in having a man.

[@iciajay6891]

Turning 38 in a week. Still never married. And never been happier.

[@CapricornMoonGoddess]

I'd need a husband that travels for work. I like my space lol.

[@TheMichelex20]

This! Lol!

[@newmank0217]

Kevin Hart’s self-awareness must be on the floor 😆

[@tresvegan3633]

I can’t wholeheartedly endorse marriage to the majority of women especially women of color. Find someone who treats you right and go from there is the best advice. Especially to women in their 20’s.

[@veevee814]

Kim your on the right track..I'm 50 y.o. and have never met a happily married wife. These friends end up envious of my life and freedom and ability to take care of myself. In my 20's with 4 failed relationships by 35 I realized that's not for me. I love your mature, old soul. Your life will continuously be blessed.

[@theorablair7916]

As a wife who is NOT having fun….and WAS living a great life before the union began…I resonate soooo deeply with EVERYTHING youve said…smh Also…I realize that women who have a strong desire to have children…experience singlehood VERY different

[@coffeemug3009]

Long term commitment is hard, marriage and kids just add more burden to it. But being with the right person makes life much more better, whether it is a marriage or not. The concept of the one does not exist, everyday it is a choice for both partners to choose to be with each other, no matter the ups and downs. I realised that with my partner (we choose not to have kids) that real love takes time, it does not come from passion or desire, but from compassion and deep understanding of one and another. That is why it is important for women to read red flags and toxic ppl early before wanting to commit to someone.

[@APTTMHYforever]

Yes!! It is an everyday decision… well said!!

[@candacewalker5008]

The fact she was asked this by KH who is a cheat twice over was not lost on me!

[@Mustgohome2003]

I got pregnant at 20 and married at 21 after second pregnancy. Yes, they were back to back. I thought I chose an older, wiser partner that could really be part of raising our kids. It was the only reason I didn’t abort my son tbh. This man treated me and our kids like a new toy. I’m now a married single mom. I put myself back financially when COVID started by not working to homeschool our kids. So now, leaving him with no family and dwindled savings means it’ll take longer and I have to start over.I’m angry but not bitter and have been invalidated when voicing my opinions on marriage. Your video is so true. Marriage is only worth it if it makes your life better! But to a poor young girls better often looks like having stable roof and food overhead which is why I feel men date significantly younger and financially under themselves. Fuck marriage, don’t do it. Have the lovas!!!!!

[@fini5294]

A few months ago I came to the same conclusion as Tracee. I am approaching dating now with high standards but low expectations about getting into a relationship. It’s amazing how many cool, funny, and respectful guys are out there if you weed them out properly and don’t give second chances. It’s been a revelation to spend time with some charming, reliable and accepting men who don’t expect me to do emotional labor for them. It’s beginning to heal my relationship I have to them. I feel less and less resentment towards men because I don’t stay with someone anymore just because I like things about them when they are also jealous / controlling / distant / unreliable / disrespectful / arrogant or close minded. Every single time I’ve ignored even the tiniest red flag in the past I’ve regretted it later. It’s just not worth it. Childish dudes can stay mad. Who cares what they think ? Maybe they’ll grow up when they realize no one’s listening.

[@choconethotcoco4717]

I’ve been single for over a decade because I love the freedom! I don’t have to consult with, refer to or discuss with anyone my choices. When I want to do something I do it, if I want to buy something I buy it. Turns out I’m really good with money because I have saved and invested very well. When I was married I had to file bankruptcy. I live a great life and I don’t fear not being wanted, accepted or loved by a man he is just not a priority in my life. Having peace, freedom and contentment is what I have and I’m not willing to trade that right now for any man.

[@Scorpiehibiscus]

It has never been my dream to be picked by a man. My mom even married to my dad was living like a single woman. She’s 60 now and divorced and I’ve never seen her this happy. She supports my freedom and understands that it has never been a priority for me. I love her so much for that because she lets me do my thing 💕💕💕

[@Scorpiehibiscus]

@F. Aduke Femi-Babalola no you’re not coming rude don’t worry 😉. I’m not from America so sorry if my English is not right. What I meant was that the men are usually the one who marry so to me it often looks like it’s a waiting game. Like I know women who are literally waiting to be chosen. That’s the not the case with me. That’s what I meant. And when it comes to my mom you’re wrong. I’m never gonna use my mom’s life story to flex on the internet but as a testimony. What I meant was that she always knew that she was a free spirit and never wanted to get married or have children. Now that I’m living the life she couldn’t she overly supports me and I love her unconditionally for it 💕💕💕

[@mimiandy1683]

One of the “pitfalls” of being a black woman that is aro-ace. 😏 If I was given a dollar for every time someone told me “You’ve just haven’t found the right one,” I would’ve been able to pay off my student loans already.

[@leab9435]

Preach Kim!! 46, happily single, financially secure, already have amazing children, love having my own space and freedom, not afraid to be alone & not interested in legal marriage at all. I agree about them not making it look fun 😆I've never seen a marriage in my whole life that made me want to get married 🤷🏾‍♀️ I'm open to healthy, loving relationships with men who can meet me on my level. Folks need to stop trying to shame single women & focus on themselves.

[@Ebthehousesitter]

Unpartnered. Unbothered. Unchained. On purpose.

[@autumnhomer9786]

🎀I’m married but read this amazing quote online somewhere.🎀 🎀People shame single women for being single, but they don’t talk about the amount of married women who stay in abusive marriages. Just to say they have a man. Or because they are too fearful of the consequences to leave.🎀

[@GhanimaCrimson]

They make it seem like work for real. Seems like they spend their time bragging about it, doing most of the emotional labor, running the household, and making sure their husband doesn't cheat. I would never count it out for me personally but it has to be on my terms

[@ManUntdForever]

In fairness to those women, they were most likely socialized into believe that doing everything is “normal” and “expected” of them. So they’re just living it up in a highly unequal mariage.

[@ClearandHealthyBoundaries]

Hahaha and the men just mosey along enjoy it all and getting their ego stroked.

[@mlmc58]

Being in a relationship solely for the sake of not being single seems like such a miserable place to be!... I find that people often project their own fears and insecurities about single life onto single people and I actually find it to be a bit sad for them...especially those who are in disbelief because I have no issues going to the movies, dinner, trips, etc SOLO (maybe being an only child helps?). Like , you REALLY don't need to "pray for me to find someone." I'm open to possibilities, but not actively searching! LOL

[@quickpstuts412]

Preach! Only child here and I love, love my space. I love hearing from others like you who truly GET IT!! Same.

[@mlmc58]

@@quickpstuts412 People don't understand that personal space piece! I've always been very generous with about everything else, BUT my personal space is protected lol

[@JohnDeDominicano]

This happens alot for men especially Black men as well (not to relegate the experiences that Black Queens experience). If a Black man is single and has no kids, he is regarded as being "gay" and or "not manly enough." We live in a very harsh society and there is nothing wrong with being single or not having kids. It is sad to see how society disrespects and looks down on people without kids or a relationship and how their sexuality, lifestyle, beliefs and morals are questioned and disrespected.

[@jbtube73]

I totally agree with it. The stigma is real and sad.

[@anitasimpson2883]

.

[@NallahBrown]

@Melissa Nicole this is not all the way true at all.

[@othelliusmaximus]

@Melissa Nicole cap

[@angelareddick134]

Not every woman is designed for or wanting to be coupled up. Marriage or being a wife to me seemed a life sentence of being a servant, maid, cook, babysitter, seggz slave and it just wasn't something attractive to me.

[@ThatsJustMyBabyDaddy]

I love how you're inspiring people to live the life they themselves want, not the life others want for them. ️ ❤️

[@AbduAliFree]

You are amazing Kimberly, as a Black queer person your work truly brings me joy and makes me feel seen! And yes, I'll never forget this passage I read in a book about two Black women of the civil rights movement who were sisters who lived into their 100s, the Delaney sisters, where they said one of their secrets to living a long healthy life was that they never were never married. lol. "We never had husbands to worry us to death..." - Bessie Delany

[@ms.x9571]

Lol they are so witty! Thank you so much for reminding me of them! I read their book in high school and I forgot them names!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

[@APTTMHYforever]

Love that quote!! And my great grandmother name is Bessie!!😁

[@rebekaewusie5388]

Yes! Such a great quote

[@ashakir622]

Why can't people live and let live? If you want to get married, then get married. If you don't want to, then don't.

[@morgansubtilis6852]

Yes!!! It is a cultural default to assume that women move into a man's space. Everytime I have done this it has been misery. Thinking about doing it again gives me hives. Thank you for phrasing this as about your dream life!!! I might live with others again, but not ever again into *their* space. And honestly, I might not ever again if I can help it.

[@melodyreyneofficial]

I agree with you Kim. I’m open to marriage but not if it’s going to be detrimental to who I am.

[@MadiBendy]

I’m 25, I’m still young and I don’t have any desire to date at this moment but I totally agree that we as people go through phases (both men and women) I don’t know what will happen tomorrow but I’m sure it’s going to be amazing

[@servingcant]

The last time I was at a family gathering (pre-pandemic) I wasn’t at the age where people start asking, but now I’m, and I have no plans of going to any family gathering, cause the questions are gonna come flowing. And I ain’t trynna fight all my aunts and uncs.

[@AboveRubiesTV]

🤣🤣 not you ready to fight ALL of them!

[@pisceanbeauty2503]

Just be honest and tell them that the pickin’s is slim.

[@jjamerican93]

Kim, I’m really grateful for this video. As a lifelong single, I’ve felt behind in a fundamental way because I never met the kind of people where a romantic relationship, and even the potential for marriage or children, was in the cards for me. But I recently started living on my own and love it so much; I’m both grateful for the opportunity, but now I really struggle to see how someone can truly fit into the life and routine I’ve cultivated for myself. And when you’ve been on your own your whole life, it’s like why do I have to let this go to “fit in” with society? I don’t need another half because I’m already whole, although the benefits of romance seem nice if you have access to them. But seeing other women here say they have partners who they don’t live with and see a few times a week is so encouraging. We really can have and cultivate relationship models that work best for us! ❤️

[@TheLily97232]

Girl I envy you.... I grew up with so much rejection and deeply bought into the idea that without a man, I would be nothing. And I have to actively fight that insecurity and that negativity. I don't look for anybody, but I watch though !

[@E_MZ_]

I too grew up with a lot of rejection. Dad was emotionally negligent and at times abusive, I was bullied all through school and just generally a quirky girl so I didn’t really make a lot of friends. Then I went to a southern PWI as a black woman and you can imagine more rejection there. So I struggle. I’ve been with my bf now for almost three years (but I’m pretty sure he wants to break up lol). I hope to get on Kim’s level though

[@antisocialbuttahfly3938]

Relationships are only worth it if they make your life better, couldn’t agree more. I used to find myself in and out of relationships back-to-back. However, spending time in solitude has helped me to develop a stronger sense of self and has given me space to explore my passions. Although I’m currently in a connection. It wasn’t something I desperately sought after like in the past, it sort of fell into place for me lol. I’m lucky enough to be with someone who doesn’t aimlessly take up space in my life, but that actually gives me the room and autonomy to be myself and explore more of who I am. With that being said, not every woman wants marriage and children. Somehow we’ve been indoctrinated to believe that marriage and birthing babies are biological destinies that must be fulfilled lol. It’s giving Handmaiden tease lmao.

[@florencee3324]

Omg the last part has explained why i’m so conflicted on marriage and having children. The indoctrination is real and sorting through it to get to the real wants and needs is difficult as hell.

[@antisocialbuttahfly3938]

@@florencee3324 It is very difficult. I’d love for Black women to explore the idea of investing more time and energy into platonic friendships with other women. Not say that we should abandon the pursuit for love, but that love doesn’t always have to be packaged in the form of a romantic partnership.

[@quirkyblackenby]

@@antisocialbuttahfly3938 yes yes yes

[@daebak_hana]

literally the first thing some people ask me is if I have a man 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ these are all women who are insecure themselves though. I noticed the women who are confident and comfortable with themselves don't ask me this.

[@losstefanos8974]

Kim is the healthiest parts of what I'm trying to be for myself. I love her for her awareness of herself, her flaws, and her idea(ls). ❤️

[@joshuamcdowell9745]

I'm a single man and I am on the fence about marriage. I look at marriage as people running into a burning building while people are running out. When people talk about marriage, they always talk about how hard it is and how much you got to compromise. If it's so hard, why would I want any parts of that? I do hope to one day fall in love and have children. I love children and I want some, but I don't know about marriage. Also, I've never seen a good marriage. My mama has been married three times and all three of those marriages were a disaster and toxic as hell.

[@brittmar538]

Your burning building description is accurate. I also hear people talk marriage being hard. I am the only non married person out of my friends, and they keep me grounded lol. They make it easy for me to say marriage is not a big deal. I also know people in long term marriages who brag about how hard it's been but it's worth it. Doesn't seem appealing

[@Mrslovett007]

"Y'all don't make being a wife look fun!!" exactly.

[@thegadflysnemesis4102]

I can't recall if you've discussed amatonormativitg by name in your videos before, but oh my word the amatonormativity is *so* real. Aromantics like myself often experience things very similar to what you described about people's responses when you say you're not interested in pursuing marriage - the pity and/or patronizing disbelief is so frustrating, especially as "I'm not interested in marriage/long-term partnership/etc" almost universally requires a damn sight more introspection than simply going with the amatonormative flow and wanting marriage. Before I was able to articulate my aromanticism, I acutely felt partnership's loss of autonomy that you describe, and I watched the approach of a life stage where I would be expected to date in the same way one watches the bars of a cage close around them. I could not conceive of any benefit to my life that partnership might bring, because to me there was no benefit (although of course I couldn't admit that to myself). But the drawbacks are no less real for my seeing only them. It is absolutely wild to me that there are so many vast and varied life paths that people can have, so many wildly varying personalities people possess, and yet somehow we all have to get married and spend the majority of our lives entangled with someone. And if you don't do that, oh, what a small sad life you must lead, you poor dear!

[@mimiandy1683]

🙋🏿‍♀️ Heeeeyyy! An Aro-Ace, here!

[@warmhoney5829]

It's nice to see other black aro or ace ppl 😄

[@trailerparkart2429]

I relate to this to my core! I’ve been single over 3 years now and I’m so sick of people asking me about a man! I’m happy! I don’t need a man up fulfill me! And I wish more women could be happy and single sometimes and enjoy it!

[@laexploradoraaaXD]

Fundamentally, marriage as an institution benefits men. Children are an oppressed class and honestly, aren't really talked about in that way in the mainstream but they absolutely are. But yeah society-at-large does NOT make being a "wife" even remotely interesting and I'm a partnered woman. Also the expectations of childrearing absolutely increase when you're married because now it's seen as being "real."

[@v_iika]

Normalize marriage without cohabitation

[@jamilafever8110]

I have never related to you so deeply! At 42, and very single and very much in love with who I have become and where I am now in life...and I'm constantly being asked why I'm not dating and what do I do with my free time as if there is nothing interesting to do outside of a romantic relationship. I enjoy my freedom and autonomy...and listen to them complain about their relationships! Lol I don't want to give up my autonomy in order to say I'm not single or I'm married. It honestly sounds boring, restrictive and emotionally and physically taxing. I'd love a companion but I don't want to be boxed in to have it.

[@cypress2212]

Anyone who has ever been in a relationship knows the struggle is real. Been there done it several times. I've never slept this good I'm loving my single life.

[@Blue74]

You articulated my feelings exactly, 100% agree. It's refreshing to hear more women feel the same, makes me feel less like a freak sometimes..

[@1991-present]

As a married women with a child .. I Approve this message. Live the life that ignites you , always x

[@inolofatsenglekaba5026]

'a man comes into my life and I have to compromise? For what? Compromise? Stupid.' - Eartha Kitt

[@thewisdomdivatv]

It’s true what they say.. if you’re not happy single, you won’t be happy married. I lot of folks focus wayyyyy too much on the wedding and not enough time having hard discussions about how they see their lives unfolding. Marriage does not necessarily equate to a loss of independence, autonomy or agency over your body, living quarters or life. Especially if both have done the work to respect the needs and boundaries of others. My husband and I have pretty much the same lifestyle as when we were single (all kids late teens/adults). Like anything else in life you have do find what works for you and if you’re happy with that the right people and relationships will fall into place. Just don’t make “spouse” the centerpiece of your identity or you will do and put up with things you don’t like or want just to maintain a sense of self.

[@LivDeSantos]

I feel so conflicted as I'm exactly the same. I love my independent life and thrive in long distance/separate living situations...but I still want a long term committed relationship 😖 Increasingly it feels like it's only possible to have one or the other...

[@LoveToday8]

Don't limit yourself. I truly believe it's possible for you and so many others to have this.

[@lekoetsemahao9244]

“The next great experience that I want and desire and crave is right around the corner.” I love that! Such a great affirmation and mindset to move through life with. Thank you Kimberley, I will be taking this.

[@winxclubstellamusa]

I want to be metaphorically owned, but not controlled! I would love if I can have a husband where I DON’T have to move in with him, but we have frequent sleep overs at each other’s places. Moving in with anyone terrifies me. I don’t want to be in a vulnerable situation to be humiliated, threatened, abused (physically or otherwise), and at the constant risk of ever being kicked out! Most of my life was like that. I don’t want to re-live that fear and agony ever again.

[@ClearandHealthyBoundaries]

I feel you Mama! I didn't want to get married either because it always seemed that the women ended up live in maids, even if they were professionals, talented, interesting etc. I also wa Ted to be a career woman and independent. Being in a relationship was never a priority of mine. I just wanted to be educated, professional and well-adjusted. Whe you were talking about how good your life is I verbally said I wish I could say that myself. But, then I met my husband who is also 28 years older than me and he proved that he's a partner in every sense of the word. He's also a great nurturer and he takes great care of me especially when I have depression episodes, like the one I'm in now. However, I stuck to my guns about no children. He and many others thought I would change my mind, especially when they pushed and shamed and guilty tripped. However, it's been 14 yrs and I KNOW I'll never have kids because I don't want any. I know having them won't enhance my life or marriage and I don't want to subject kids to having a depressed mom.

[@ebonywagner4221]

As a married woman and mom I love being married and a mother. But my husband is also super amazing and hands on in all aspects. I know and overstand this isn’t for everyone. I personally wouldn’t be happy if my husband wasn’t in my life as my husband. My ultimate advice to all women find yourself and what will make you happy and stand it unashamed. I do believe a large majority of men and women desire marriage and kids. However for the others that don’t I love to see them partnered but it’s crazy because often people will flip. Like your ex, and I wonder why that is? Even like with Jeanie Mai and her ex husband. Is it a person can make you change or is it just a shift in values and perspective? But I am here for the women who don’t desire marriage and motherhood. We need to see ALL forms of womanhood in all its beauty.

[@krystalmarie5747]

I agree I always said I never would have kids or be in a long term relationship. Well once I met my partner that changed now we have a daughter and I have to admit being in a loving healthy peaceful relationship is pretty nice .

[@punkybrewstar83]

I'm 39 and I have been through soooooooo much shit with men. BUT I am happy on my own... I wanted a kid, I am peace with not giving birth, I have kids in my life anyway. So I have retired from dating. I refuse to have a relationship now- it is a valid choice. My life is a lot better without men, and I am happier on my own, and I know that now. It is a persons right to choose happiness.

[@nehemie1255]

In my 30 years, I have never been the one to initiate the future convos. Its always the men. I believe its a carrot they dangle bc at that point that should be my cue to tighten up for that title. Its one of their biggest pieces of leverage. Even friends react this way when they realize you are not vying for that. They act personally attacked lol. Most dont want to accept that all women do not want that, some never wanted that and never will want it. Everyone is different! It gets weird after I speak my peace. Which is a short piece. " I just do not want it in the permanent way that others want me to want it." So much energy put into women buying into the idea and no effort to make it a better arrangement.

[@cboom8604]

Us Pisces want great experiences and that makes people think we live in fantasyland.

[@sb1206]

Exactly