The Rules - Humans are space orcs

Links in description!
Tried doing an outro this time but I'm not sure how well I like it. It was kinda a last minute thing I decided to throw in.
This weeks video was pretty silly so I went ahead and actually made the thumbnail myself instead of finding images on Google. I might do more thumbnails like this in the future if its received well.
The art this week is one that I did to reflect how I've been feeling lately. Am I ok? Yes? No? I don't want to talk about it...
Remember, I take requests for video ideas! With more ideas, I may be able to do more than one video a week!
If you'd like to see the final product of the art in the background, check out my Instagram! / littleartisticshadow
Original post on Tumblr:
starr-fall-knight-rise.tumblr...
The Wattpad version: www.wattpad.com/872781951-emp...

[@weldonwin]

Rule 27: Stop Bullsh*tting Krill. If anyone tries to tell him that humans have laser vision, bleed molecular acid and gestate their young inside of a living host (As technically correct as that last one may be), I will NOT be the one who has to go crawling around the air ducts to find him and calm him down.

[@jenniferchaulam]

/pffffffffffffffffffffffft haha that's definitely added

[@koljaleffek7290]

well.... the second is technically correct too XD even if it serves the function of a puffer

[@rustyshackleford5144]

again.

[@weldonwin]

@@rustyshackleford5144 Oh god, just imagine movie nights on the USS Stabby and they are showing 1980's action movies, so Krill see's the likes of Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger, obliterating whole armies and pulling off other assorted Super Human nonsense

[@rustyshackleford5144]

@@weldonwin I'm imagining him viewing the original black and white War of the Worlds, and thinking it was a historical documentary about how a planetary invasion of Terra was repelled by our biosphere's natural bacteria, and becoming ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED of the human germs all over the ship.

[@twojstarypijany3182]

The best thing is one rule was made because of something captain himself did.

[@TheAussief1]

So trolley jack racing is still ok.

[@UGNAvalon]

Quite a few of them, actually. :O

[@kikitapika9565]

Rules are made after someone does something stupid So probably all these happened

[@kikitapika9565]

Funny hats included

[@TheAussief1]

@@kikitapika9565 that how I know about trolley Jack racing. And I was part of the reason it was banned.

[@DOOM6287]

for rule 20, its kinda weird how humans are regarded as so tough in this series, but can be paralyzed in fear by an inch long relatively harmless creature. imagine a human describing this too lol

[@Zakvadr1995]

Now imagine a human size race of those things. It would probably be the first “Oops” nuking we would do in space.

[@DOOM6287]

@@Zakvadr1995Cockroaches can survive nukes tho so now we are really screwed

[@Jpx0999]

@@DOOM6287 they only survived because of theyr size And can stay bellow the explosion But not touching it As for the heat..... Idk

[@DOOM6287]

@@Jpx0999 cockroaches are very resistant to radiation and chemicals, so yeah the heat would kill them but they would survive the radiation and chemicals just fine

[@Tyhoon01]

"how is it that your species is so afraid of those little arachnids? the staggering difference in body mass alone would lead me to believe that you would find them trivial." "Oh, that. Primordial fear, mostly. Instinct. Some spiders on earth can be real nasty." "Nasty?" "Yeah, some can kill you in a single bite, while others can cause severe nerve damage or split and rot the flesh from the bone."

[@wombataldebaran9686]

This is the mixture of military service and kindergarden

[@Dagreatdudeman]

Also known as military service!

[@kirknay]

Same difference. A soldier is at their most dangerous when bored.

[@ihaveagun22]

Pretty sure you are describing *insert whichever branch of the military your branch makes fun of*

[@sapphirestar3978]

yeah it totally is

[@banann_ducc]

things like this make me almost want to do army stuff but at the same time i do not want to do army stuff. I just want friends i guess

[@mrmastaofdesasta6994]

Getting strong "things that Doctor Bright is not allowed to do" vibes here

[@unimaginablybasedindividual]

YESSS I AGREE

[@eldritchgod4308]

Dr. Bright is not allowed to perform further tests on gravity altering anomalies, testing how high a D-Class can jump is not necessary to understanding the anomaly. (Or the D-Class).

[@crusaderanimation6967]

Yes, i got same vibes.

[@pikejohnson6409]

Yooo same

[@ballsacsincorp]

*dont get anyone pregnant*

[@neenm4299]

I love how the ship is named USS Stabby

[@indianaweather9837]

*Me, thinking back to when the internet voted on "Boaty McBoat Face" for a boat after a wildlife charity goal was reached* Some jokes just never die

[@nordicmind82]

[@chimpgaming8290]

So a British ship No it would be the uss shanky

[@crusaderanimation6967]

Well in this case, like ship name like crew XD

[@geoshark12]

The funny thing is the captain changed it to that and it was based on the knife taped to a roomba

[@alexmuller6752]

breaking rule number five like "oh no, we exceeded the critical cuddling mass now we can never seperate again, noooo"

[@henrypaleveda7760]

I think that was more for corowd control and fire safety, evacuating four people in close proximity is much easier than five.

[@alexmuller6752]

@@henrypaleveda7760 about twenty to twenty-five percent easier, depending on the direction of the mathematics^^

[@banann_ducc]

Is group spooning a thing???

[@garret1930]

@@banann_ducc you've never partaken? It's very relaxing and comforting.

[@locomastero]

@@garret1930 Things to add to my bucket list.

[@frostfallanimations7891]

Imagine an alien species being in awe at what humans can endure. Having fought beside them and seen some who should be dead keep fighting in an adrenaline fueled rage. Then the humans come across a spider or a black mamba or something and the aliens see them back away and start flipping out. The alien would surely freak out as well, I mean if the humans can face down terrors of war then this must be a creature of destruction. It would be funny to have a story with those kinds of reactions.

[@dinowolf359]

Imagine that happened cause its another humans pet

[@inkyfingers317]

I mean a black mamba is definitely a creature of destruction lol

[@katier9725]

How about an Emperor Scorpion? Those things look totally badass, as scorpions do, but are actually so friendly and harmless (to humans) they're even kept as pets in some cultures. But if you aren't aware of that, it would totally make you hesitate.

[@nabbitgohome9672]

What about the animals on their planet or (our) planet how do they fair with other sentient or non sentient alien species?

[@sapphirestar3978]

ikr

[@someboredseal9976]

Rule Number 27: Ruby amulets are no longer allowed on this ship and if found they WILL be ejected out into a black hole, I don't care if that doesn't actually destroy it, I don't care if it's yours I just care if HE'S not onboard my ship.

[@Jpx0999]

Dr brigth is here ahahahahahaha

[@hardcoreholman303]

Is that a wish master reference?

[@RyuuRider]

@@hardcoreholman303 I'm fairly certain it's a reference to an SCP-universe amulet with a ruby gem in it containing the soul of a man known as Doctor Bright. When worn, his soul takes over the body for the duration - to put it shortly. He's got a set of rules made just for him with much the same energy as these ones! :D

[@kane2875]

Dr Bright’s here!

[@hello_i_exist_uwu]

@@RyuuRider over 200 rules for one man lol

[@SlideIX]

As a soldier I find this one particularly hilarious because it’s surprisingly realistic. The amount of times I’ve watched my bosses do stupid sh*t or I’ve had to talk my guys out of doing stupid sh*t which spawned some new rule because of it is ridiculous. (Honestly I’ve also been guilty of it myself, can’t say what I did exactly but let’s just say it involved Las Vegas, a flagpole, a flag and loss of certain articles of clothing)

[@JACKBOOT12]

Ah yes that moment you look at something and just know that it's going to turn into a safety briefing

[@kuradamax]

"Showers are Mandatory" All Hail High Marshal Mistman! Down with the Water Crimes Division!

[@Ropetrick6]

We would like to remind the populace that there isn't, never has been, and never will be a "Water Crimes Division", that is a mere myth. We thank you for listening to this Public Service Announcement.

[@coolminecrafthdminecraft1627]

Yay GTU fans!

[@thefederation1506]

SCP list of what Dr bright isn't allowed to do, except instead of the foundation it's the USS stabby and Dr bright is the crew

[@nightstriker5885]

my thought exsakly when listening tho this "huh so dr bright bilions off rules only aply to him cause he is imortal"

[@paulschumacher4308]

As a veteran of the United States army, I can verify these are very realistic demands

[@justinsummers8788]

This weirdly implies that there is no rule or regulation against sexual harassment in the uspc code regulations

[@ratemisia]

Maybe because it's a thing most species just imply is a given? Like "don't run other people over with a car while in the office," perhaps? Just guessing, though.

[@bbeckett2509]

Coagulation of disease, that's a phrasing I've never seen before,and I'm enjoying it

[@slipstreamxr3763]

The side of the Galactic Empire we never get to see.

[@crownshatter4244]

The concept of Vir doing a kickflip on a skateboard so sick that he almost killed the entire crew is hilarious to me

[@zanthimos]

This makes me think that in the foreseeable future, there will be a show based on this set of rules; like The Office but in space. Or a live action version of Star Trek: Lower Decks.

[@AnchorJG]

This has a delightful "Things Mr. Welch Is No Longer Allowed to Do" vibe to it.

[@captaincraftit696]

Things Dr. Bright is not allowed to do in space™

[@mariusdesu1633]

@@captaincraftit696 Dr Bright is not allowed to go into the space

[@izthistle6196]

@@mariusdesu1633 in the occasion that Dr. Bright were to go to space, that’s a whole entire different list on things he’s not allowed to do in space

[@mariusdesu1633]

@@izthistle6196 I believe no one will let him go to space after what he did to the Moon and Jupiter.

[@whodis4097]

@@mariusdesu1633 "I've come to make an announcement!"

[@Wolfrover]

For completeness, it should be noted that the event related at 3:50 was in the cargo bay, and that neither crew nor cargo were actually ejected when the relevant button was accidentally depressed. In addition, had the control been properly secured, there would never have been any danger. That said, anything which drastically reduces a person's ability to control their physical vector and momentum around sensitive controls is a Bad Idea. (The ban in the halls is entirely due to simple physical dangers, however. Very few sentients enjoy violent physical contact at velocity.) Use of such devices should be confined to physical recreation areas designed for their use while aboard ship.

[@kalzar26]

Those acceptions hurt, but I'll make an exception since it was a fun list.

[@ArmouryTerrain]

I take exception to your acceptance!

[@adamthethird4753]

My favorite thing is that all of these are reactionary.

[@shimmyking4]

Krill, Reading all of These Rules: ....... *furiously taking notes*

[@HartlyLion]

This entire video is literally the "what the hell happened here" meme.

[@drtidrow]

1:47 Sometimes called a "cuddle puddle" :-)

[@davibergamin5943]

I feel like Dr. Bright is the captain of this ship, and he is also the crew

[@lillie8774]

I choose to believe captain Vir shreds it in Heelies

[@onemoregodrejected9369]

My favorite part is that everything kinda makes sense and perfectly understandable but you still would do it for shits and giggles. Kek

[@roaming_idiot1795]

I like to think of Captain Picard making these "informal rules" and it makes me chuckle.

[@nickpossum3607]

I find it funnier thinking these rules are being read to Captain Kirk, repeatedly!

[@coacobird]

That was very enjoyable. I especially like the funny hat rule cause I would totally wear one to my interview.

[@karmageddon9047]

Fun fact, Vir is Latin for Man So this guy is named Captain Man.

[@jenniferchaulam]

/adam man

[@spartanwarrior9755]

Me after seeing rule 5 and it's addendums: Ah good to see the Navy is gay regardless if they are sailing in the ocean or in space. Edit: After reading rule 7 I redact my previous statement.

[@MRx36000]

Am I the only person that would totally serve abourd the USS Stabby? xD

[@skyrere]

I would TOTALLY serve on USS STABBY!

[@hello_i_exist_uwu]

It would be interesting

[@fortkavanagh]

THAT WAS FUCKING FUNNY AS HELL, OH PLEASE DO MORE!

[@TheSynthPunk]

Captain Vir is funny, compassionate and absolutely badass. Textbook definition of a Chad.

[@p0komon133]

I love how several of these are just food related

[@YourPalKindred]

Been listening to these in order, they're so great! Listening to The Marathon made me want to go for a run too, just to join the captain. I wonder what Kril would think of that, a human wanting to physically exert themselves simply because they knew another human was doing so. Great readings!

[@KnekoKcat]

Took me three of your vids to finally pay attention to what you're drawing.

[@diamondwillow1191]

Haha its not really necessary to pay attention to the speed drawing. I mostly have it there so its not just a still image.

[@soup4219]

this has that exact same feelings as 'things dr bright is not allowed to do'.

[@Cole-xq2tl]

No weird shenanigans. Proceeds to discuss "group spooning"

[@analinrose]

Nah fam, it's no *excessively* weird shenanigans

[@Maeshalanadae]

Okay, the captain is kind of a smartass, I love that. XD

[@supremepatriarchbalthasarg474]

Lol bunch of middle schoolers with space ship xD

[@sadgiraffe6669]

I'm glad barbie girl and crazy frog are still a round hundreds of years in the future

[@kimamato5196]

I have been in love with this series. I just binged all of it. Thank you so much

[@GuardianofRoin]

This is probably the funniest video out of the series... or most shows I have watched on youtube or otherwise. You just earned a sub

[@starchildofthesun]

This is like... the most young adult gen z pilot energy and I am vibing with it!

[@WiredTurkey316]

These are some good rules

[@escapedcryptid8017]

These are getting my through my first weeks of collage thanks!!! Love your voice and art!!

[@chandlercleveland-cooke4438]

I love all of these! Please keep the Space Orc thing going.

[@craftysmithkeith3653]

If I was the captain of that ship I would play nothing but ken ashcorp and Hololive karaoke

[@CharliMorganMusic]

Okay, so rule #5 has some reality to it. It's a little known fact outside of the military that homoeroticism in a unit positively correlated with that group's combat effectiveness.

[@darinroodman2004]

I just found you... You're really good at narrating! Keep up the great work

[@skyrere]

You do a wonderful job of reading these. XD wonderful inflection.

[@batelthda5638]

Thank you, I forgot the greatness of the hfy genre which I forgot due to my laziness and it’s inaccessibility. You have reminded me of said greatness due to your efforts. Again I thank you.

[@wizsamspider3688]

This sounds like if Puffin Forest was a space captain and I LOVE IT

[@plsarguewithme2665]

i love these so much im glad i found them

[@manicwolfgaming4940]

I was in the army for 10 years, and this is basically our Friday evening safety brief.

[@seyvetch7863]

I just discovered this playlist and Im in love

[@Loreman72]

The Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy is strong with this one...

[@saucevc8353]

This is like The Things Dr. Bright Is Not Allowed To Do At The Foundation, but in space and the rules were written by Dr. Bright.

[@Bayleaf6399]

I like this captain!

[@Katzztar]

Hearing these rules, I can only imagine the antics that caused them. It's making me think of filk song "Banned from Argo"

[@skyrere]

omg... best song ever!!!

[@skyrere]

if you haven't, you should look up Jonathan Coulton. He's got some of the best comedic parodies out there.

[@objectiveice573]

the fact that the captain has to make multiple rules about *certain* things then something mustve gone down on that ship

[@mikemullen2047]

I'll admit, humans are space orcs make a lot of sense

[@Volnas97]

TBH, throwing marshmallows at any star sounds like fun

[@Starlitsoul0359]

Gloriously done, that was some VERY good use of inflection or whatever the thing is called where you. Well. Y’know. Shift the tone of your voice for what you’re saying and or reading. Something you probably did subconsciously there for my little rant. Also, art in the background. The poor boi is sad. Very good quality but 0/10. Give this derg a hug ASAP!

[@diamondwillow1191]

Thank you very much ^u^ as for the art, I was feeling sad so I kinda reflected it in my art. All is better now though! Thank you for the hug!

[@ecurps1]

I like this captain. ^^

[@edarddragon]

i will accept bribes of food for musical requests its genius , great benefit for a couple of minutes of fun!

[@MourningNihilist]

I love accents, reg-oo-Lations, like how some people say pic-tur, that’s adorable and I like how you read lol

[@MourningNihilist]

Please don’t ever change that, seriously lol, gives your voice character

[@EliasExists]

I like how rule 6 was suggestive of out of sight out of mind, but 7 was like ok but don’t get pregnant, and then shortly after don’t get anyone pregnant, but still that wasn’t clear enough and 9 had to be added so outsiders were included too

[@Phamtomdark]

That sounds like a problem with the airlock button ! I want my skateboards!

[@johnwilliamson4368]

Imagine if the aliens read these rules. They'd be like bros what the heck is wrong with you, why is the concept you came up with, common sense, so uncommon

[@2huUuuUUUU]

This gives me rules for Dr. Bright vibes

[@scottwilliams846]

"Acting" captain? Is there a captain he is filling in for for the entire series?

[@olegoleg258]

I know this is random but i kind of saw this part of the tears that you drew over and damn...i wish I knew how to do what was in the background in the greyish shade.

[@diamondwillow1191]

Yeah the tears in the sketch were better than in the lineart imo. I was trying not to overdo it (I think) and instead ended up under doing it haha

[@user-pc5sc7zi9j]

open flames are NOT PROHIBITED, therefore allowed.

[@hideyoshi5681]

I was listening to this in my car on my way to work. 🤣😂😂🤣almost crasht my car 3 times because I whas laughing so hard I cont not see. Kwon my colleagues are listening to this play list. We humans are a strange buns🤣😂 please make more videos of these story's. We are the Dutch morning crew of a hotel kitchen and we are hokt on this. You have ouwer support🇳🇱great way to start the day. Whit a good laugh. Sorry if my English is bad

[@Bobo1806able]

I need this. I didn’t know how much I needed something until I received it.

[@koljaleffek7290]

i really dont know why youtube commended this videos to me: the episode about salive was kinda blending in into the microbiotics videos i watched and i was REALLY confused for a few seconds. but nontheless. i like it. and this one is hillarious and oh so relatable

[@BoxcarJohnnie]

I have been reading Science Fiction since 1958, this reminds me of Robert Heinlein style of Space Adventures. The first Science Fiction books I read was Citizen of the Galaxy and Alice Mary Norton (Andre Norton) The Beast Master (1959) Yes this is very much same style as 1940's and 1950's Young Peoples Science Fiction & Fantastic Stories genre. Excellent Reading, DiamondWillow, and I think Arthur C. Clark invented the term Orcs? Sorry I am very senile and forget EXCEPT about Books I read when I was a Child. Typical Senility, however I still have a good life, in my Senior Studio 250 Square Foot with Cat and Ham Radios, 9 Guitars and Shelves of Books I cannot read- My Left eye has Macalur Degeneration my Right Eye had a Black Vail so BLACK keeps me from seeing except from 'around the edges." Thank the Silly Sisters (My Guiding archons, LOL) that in San Francisco the Seniors are treated very well,, california has Severe Laws against Senior abuse, and many selfless workers who keep me safe, Meals on Wheels, In Home Health Care, PAWS "Pets are Pets Are Wonderful Support Shanti Project Pets Are Wonderful Support (PAWS) keeps people and their companion animals together

[@ruggerospampinato8775]

I would really love if you wrote a book or a series, comic, fan fic... On this. Plus, some rules are really funny, but some would only work in a group of friends, not a crew (like the music one). Anyway, love your writings. ❤️❤️

[@diamondwillow1191]

Haha these aren't my stories but I do know the author is actually making a book for this

[@ruggerospampinato8775]

@@diamondwillow1191 cool, is the name gonna be humans are space orcs? Where can I buy it?

[@diamondwillow1191]

That, I'm not actually sure about. I know the author has been giving updates on their Tumblr though.

[@ruggerospampinato8775]

@@diamondwillow1191 thanks

[@QixTheDS]

This is like the list of things Dr Bright is not allowed to do.

[@arguingwithstrangers]

"Fire is not prohibited" so fire us absolutely ok in these areas😂

[@Xerdar36]

What a great captain…

[@yourfriendlyneighborhoodtr2331]

there is one simple explanation to these rules the captain is gen z

[@herveblanche226]

I was a cab driver. I actually had a sign on the doors of my hack. "If you have not bathed, or showered in the last 24 hours, do bother trying to get in.

[@pillock654]

Good to see that humanity hasn't changed in however many years have passed xD

[@MrGasman4]

lol “Skippy’s Rules” in space 😂

[@GuardianofRoin]

I wish there was an add-on to this with Krell's reaction to said rule list

[@flamingwheel9926]

Dr. Bright would fit right in

[@2000Meilen]

This reminds me of the things Dr Bright is not allowed to do in the Foundation :D

[@scoundral2995]

The aliens in this series sees us a literally war machines with our adrenaline and acidic saliva. Not to mention our way of preserving energy is to be in a state that can only be described as near dead. meanwhile people are scared of small creatures that may or may not harm them

[@kingnothing8570]

that rule 21 tho its like the best hat simulator with an FPS theme TF2.

[@charlese.straut9998]

That's not how radiation works but the rest is great and so I can forgive it. Love your vids

[@plank1347]

1:25 "ahhh crazy frog my favourite song"

[@johnpayne5590]

This is like the things that dr bright is not allowed to do

[@Preaplanes]

1: I mean, yeah, but the star is also so gravitationally strong that it's not going to go anywhere.

[@jrreedve2825]

These are important rules that must be addressed

[@vfaulkon]

Obvious tragedy aside, I eagerly await the day when, after making friendly contact with an alien species, we lose a ship because someone didn't follow these rules. Alien Captain: "...I don't understand this rule about not playing around the airlock button. Surely that's just common sense?" Human Captain: "Yeeaaaah, um...you remember the 'Medici', right?" Alien: "Yes, the Stalwart-class ship we found drifting in space, devoid of...crew...." Human: *coughs, shuffles feet* Alien: "......no." Human: "To be fair, according to the records it was a SICK ollie."

[@RealArcalian]

The disconnect between your own voice for the number and the Captain's voice for the rest is....interesting.

[@diamondwillow1191]

Technically still in the experimental phase for voices. And how I narrate in general. Lots of practice is still needed haha

[@RealArcalian]

@@diamondwillow1191 wasn't a criticism. Just found it funny.

[@diamondwillow1191]

Thats alright, I'll still take it to heart to improving myself ^u^

[@RealArcalian]

@@diamondwillow1191 well, you certainly do better than Tales of Humanity, who is monotonous to heck and back.

[@diamondwillow1191]

@@RealArcalian I'm glad I can make this enjoyable for a lot of people then, this is one of my passions and I only want to improve from here ^u^