The Secret FTL Science That Could Change Humanity Forever | Fiction | 2110 |

Original Story
/ uncommonality
/ why_does_the_human_loo...
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{TimeStamps}
00:00 Intro
00:09 Human FTL Methodology
07:21 Why does the human look sad?
#ScienceFiction #Storytime #SciFi
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Podcast is Called : ASN Humans Are Space Orcs , HFY and other stories
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This Story is Classified as HFY or Humanity Feck, Yea , but what does the Mean?
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HFY is a story/series that takes a “human element” in either humanity or an “other” (race/species or object) that exists in a “setting” (future or other world/universe) with varying levels of culture, technology, society and history that help show in some shape or form the potential good or bad for humanity’s race/culture. In These stories Humans are often referred to as Human, Humanity, Deathworlder, Hellwolder in reference to the human planet of origin , Earth. This planet is seen by most of the universe as a place where only death and chaos can survive.
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Taken from the FAQ of the r/HFY subreddit.
Humans Are Space Orcs (HASO) or Humans Are (Fantasy Race) Are used as a guide when writing.
In these Stories we normally View humans like the other races view orcs in a Fantasy Novel. We (Humans) share the same characteristics and personalities as orcs. Humans are normally treated as the outsiders and barbarians. Humans tend to be underestimated as well in these stories. Unlike Humanity Feck Yea , these don't always put a positive spin on humans\humanity sometimes looking at the darker side of human and humanity from the perspective of aliens.
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A Monument To Failure

[@ICountFrom0]

Not only, "Aliens are real" but they ask that you NEVER try to use that form of FTL again, and offer you copies of every, single, OTHER OPTION in the known universe.

[@ayudameporfavor1146]

😂😂😂

[@Soloong_Gaybowzer]

So humans create warp technology, travel through the warp and meet a tentacled demon from hell, and arrive on the other side just to be greeted by regular aliens... Boy that pilot is going to have as story to tell.

[@OldNavajoTricks]

In the grimdark...

[@DemocracyOfficerWood]

@@OldNavajoTricks of the 41st millennium...

[@gideonroos1188]

@@DemocracyOfficerWood there is nothing...

[@Eliazar753]

​@@gideonroos1188 but war

[@hohenzollern6025]

You missed the butt of the joke. That chaos entity, didnt even register as something new and exciting. It was the alien ship that surprised them.

[@Maddog3060]

Story 1: "Are you alright? That thing didn't look friendly." "Oh, we're fine! Turns out C'thulu's real, but he's a lot more chill than H.P. Lovecraft wrote about." "Yeah, turns out humans are a bit psychic and Lovecraft saw him in a dream and kind of freaked out, but he gave us a ride." "Are you sure you're alright, though? Your ship is all dinged up." "Yeah, C'thulu didn't know the hull strength at first and squeezed us a bit. He apologized profusely about it, really a nice eldritch being over all." Story 2: My feels. Such sad. :(

[@SiegeTF]

Human: 'Aliens are real!' :D Alien: 'Demons are real!' D:

[@MizukiStone44]

I propose that we call this human FTL method a 'Hug Drive', since it involves getting hugged by the friendly tentacles that exist between spaces!

[@jaimeosbourn3616]

How about the Cthulhu way?

[@Telleryn]

I like to imagine that the human FTL doesn't actually include any navigation or means to traverse the space in between, we just warp our way into the tentacle dimension and ask to be posted somewhere else.

[@jaimeosbourn3616]

@@Telleryn The tentacle way?

[@Wwillswords]

​@@jaimeosbourn3616tentacle transportation drive

[@Wwillswords]

Or the Tentacle Transportation Transmission.

[@danijelandroid]

The first story; he meets an eldritch being and says aliens 👽 are real.

[@loganshaw4527]

Humans: eldritch calamari

[@Fuxy22]

Hey! At least the eldritch horror is friendly...

[@danijelandroid]

@@Fuxy22 - Friendly? ... He did let them go. Or was the eldritch horror been dragged along?

[@kopkaljdsao]

@@danijelandroid regardless ship was only dented. Next ship merely needs a stronger hull.

[@TrueFork]

please schedule an appointment with your local inquisitor for your anti-eldritch shot

[@Slye_Fox]

Sounds like the humans in the first story need to work on inventing the Gellar Field.

[@chaomatic5328]

And growing the third eyes for the Astro nobility

[@collinfulling3223]

Nah I’m pretty sure they just called for an eldritch uber

[@KertaDrake]

And I don't doubt for a second that the humans will make that FTL method the only one they use and somehow either bring the monstrosities to heel or even outright befriend them to the horror of the regular aliens...

[@Calix_Beowolf]

I wanna see that now

[@Solice-lx8mk]

The latter please

[@Kualinar]

Humans can bond with anything after all... So, why not the mighty Cthulhu himself ?

[@Necrobadger]

@@Kualinar I both love and hate that Cthulhu has become the poster being for eldritch/lovecraftian beings when he was essentially nothing more than a priest of one of the lesser elder gods.

[@Darkwintre]

Said eldritch being sets up a meeting with its councellor only telling them they met a human craft. Well at least they didn't ram you with it like they did poor Cthulhu now that entity is still having nightmares about that!

[@jukkiivi4282]

The human way to warp is METAL!!! "Aliens are real?" - a classic. Poor doggy 😞 Losing a loved pet is the blessing and curse of pack bonding. Thanks for finding and narrating these stories. I enjoyed them a lot. For the Algorithm! For the Narrator! For the Beard!

[@danieljensen794]

Man the eldritch horror must be sad in the first story. It just made some friend and then they just left before it could talk to them. How sad.

[@Iluvantir]

"I will pet them, and feed them, and love them, and hug them... and call them Bert!... oh... they gone... OH! They BACK! I will pet them, and feed them..."

[@melkiorwiseman5234]

"... into a direction which made their sensors shriek in offense at its non-existence..." reminds me of an old computer game where you can use a spell to teleport, and every time you do, you get the message "You feel yourself pulled in a direction you didn't know existed." 😄

[@zuzax1656]

That second story, I don't think I've ever heard someone define the relationship between a human and those we bond with, be it human or pets. The closer the bond, the bigger the pieces. I haven't had that hard a hit to the feels since 'One Last Fetch'.

[@random3x70]

Many an Onion Ninja ran free when i posted it. It is something that anyone who has lost anyone they care about can empathise with.

[@zuzax1656]

@@random3x70 Thank you for writing it. Please keep up the good work. You do create some very powerful mind-movies.

[@Amoth_oth_ras_shash]

in a thousand life times ,your bones will be dust... but your name will still echo's in all memories your sparked through others , also first on the list if bio engineering ever finds the 'ageing' key piece in gaia biology.. pet life spans to match 'owners' ;)

[@justincase699]

My husky is 14 and his inevitable end weighs heavily upon my mind and dreams.

[@sdeawsa]

Both of these stories are so sad... The first one is sad because the ship wasn't weaponised and didn't fight it's way out from the eldritch being. The second is well entirely sad... On a lighter note; For the algorithm! For the embodied voice!

[@pauldenz7180]

Hits close this second story. Our Family just had our dog put to sleep less than a week ago. Thank You for this wonderful story. 😊

[@turbopokey]

Soooo.... did those humans open up a portal into the 40K Warhammer version of FTL space? I've heard it's a sort of hell? Also like in "Event Horizon".

[@hohenzollern6025]

In effect yes. Event Horizon was written with the 40k Warp in mind. A sort of prequal to 40k. They even tried to make it official, but GW turned it down. Shame. And the Warp, the Immaterium, is in fact Hell it'self. It is where all souls end up, usually as a light snack for the entities within. The premise is simple; It is easy to get into hell, just, you know... die. Once within, the laws of physics no longer apply. Getting back out on the other hand, without being devoured, at your preset destination, that is where the trial and error comes in.

[@MidnightSmoke]

way to kick me square in the feelings with that 2nd story. Here is a like and comment to help your channel grow and get you the recognition you deserve.

[@loganshaw4527]

To soon to introduce the giant space dogs.

[@jessematthews6861]

@@loganshaw4527 what story has space dogs?

[@loganshaw4527]

@@jessematthews6861 more then a few. Even here there are 2,110 videos.

[@loganshaw4527]

@@jessematthews6861 hell hounds is good so is a few of the Cerberus series.

[@jessematthews6861]

@Logan Shaw ah, okay. I knew of one of the cerberus one he read involving the good boy AI

[@andewfusthe3rd]

Imagine for a moment that the warp really is as chaotic and destructive as 40k imagines, then imagine that, for the briefest moment an ethereal voice cries out “HOLD UP WE GOT A NEW COMER!” All the fighting and chaos momentarily ceases as the first jump through warp space of a new species is witnessed and periodically you see these creatures oooh and aaawe at it and even give little cheers like “you got this! Keep going!” And as soon as they are through to the other side they start the slaughter again It’s a freebie, sort of a welcome to the neighborhood experience

[@johnhosemann7103]

My dog has cancer and only a few more weeks left. I will forever have a piece of him in my heart.

[@hohenzollern6025]

The eldrich horror did not phase the crew of the Human ship... but the alien ship on the other hand... Now that was a surprise.

[@jessematthews6861]

That second story, I'm not crying, your crying

[@Random_Tech-Priest]

We are all crying

[@labella9291]

Now I have to go give my old puppers hugs. I have a 13 year old and two 10 year olds

[@mrtodddelaroderie]

Thank Agro for 2 great stories. I hope your recovery is going well. Your voice is sounding great!

[@davidvincent5701]

Story one, only nightmare/hell/death worlders follow their nature into ftl development. In regards to Eldridge dimensional travel plains being used.

[@nooneofimportance2110]

Of course we would invent the Cthulhu Drive. Why wouldn't we be the ones to invent the Cthulhu Drive?

[@anathardayaldar]

Great Space Quotes In History: Moon: "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." Space Shuttle: "The Dream Is Alive" Mars: "What the fuck! Bruuuuuuhhhh, I mean dat shit is lit!"

[@kurtismiller9544]

Eldritch horrors.... Meh... But Aliens! WOW

[@rainynight02]

Listening to the first one before they got to the part they activated the device, i was wondering "what if they ripped a hole into reality and monstrosities came out. Well, .... Similar wavelengths I guess? 😂

[@happy18yu]

Darm it the dog story made cry in both saddess and happiness at the dogs that have been a part of my life and heart .

[@davidhenderson3400]

story 1. Looks like instead of making an FTL drive they infact made a transdimensional drive and pouched a hole though to another dimension. OPPS!

[@jjppmm29]

literally breaking a gateway into the realm of a eldritch esque horror like Hermaeus Mora to travel between places. LOL

[@waterpicker]

More Yog-Sothoth but Hermanaeus Mora's appearance was inspired by the former so it counts!

[@generalrendar7290]

Humans essentially go through the chaos realm from Warhammer 40k.

[@howlingcommandose]

I enjoy that he didn't say the commercial thanks at the end with this story.😊

[@someoneawesome8717]

That second one felt like a punch to the chest

[@badbloodkiller3471]

First story: Apparently, Human FTL method is to punch thru the Gate of Yog Sothoth.

[@TAnkersly19937]

I remember when I had to put Gus down, He was a HUGE pure-bred beagle, I had him for 18 years, I was 22.

[@Aminuts2009]

I'm a dog person. I'm balling right now.

[@Iluvantir]

Welp! That second story... got the feels really feeling. Clonk is such a nice Xeno, even if he doesn't understand.

[@CaptainShield]

John Wick's dog died.. so he put a lot of people to sleep.

[@ckl9390]

That first FTL method mentioned seems more like what a Space Ork style Human would use.

[@iftenegabriel69420]

Someone surely said "I know a shortcut"

[@glassramen]

So it's an alternate universe of 40k that isn't quite as grimdark but still has the FTL jump through hell. Nice.

[@elduquecaradura1468]

I don't know, considering that humanity pre man of Iron Rebellion managed to master the warp ftl travel, this could be the same universe, but many, many millenia before the rise of the Big E

[@glassramen]

@@elduquecaradura1468 I hadn't thought of that.

[@TEXASUSA45]

Love the thumbnail picture

[@kalev_knight]

First story human ftl system "warp travel" or "eldritch jump"

[@sirfenixxumbra6626]

I NEED A CRONK IN MAY LIFE!!! so good reading nice work agro

[@OfficialNo44]

been listening for i think like past two years, and now ive started to listen to audio books ive listened to The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and The Restaurant at the End of the Universe and am on Life, The Universe and Everything

[@victortahlor4038]

Thank you for the reading

[@Nezumis]

Good night, everyone.

[@bgwe1393]

You too :)

[@ancapftw9113]

Story idea: each star has its own energy pattern, which life near that star picks up a mini version of. To FTL jump, you need life from the end point, as no one has figured out how to copy these signatures. This life is destroyed as its pattern is screwed up. The bigger the lifeform, the better the pattern, which allows for larger jumps towards the star. The story would focus on an interspecies family who trade between Sol and the other species home system. The aliens or humans are a bit racist, though, which results in them being attacked. The alien plants they were taking care of were destroyed, and one of them has to use themselves as the energy pattern for the jump to safety.

[@bigmommadeadlock3945]

Why must the internet make me cry with these stories?!

[@chandlerbullock7551]

Cool background.

[@merlinathrawes746]

And the next sentences were: So do you think you could give us a ride home? Don't really think we want to go back thru that way. And now you need to explain "metaphor" to the aliens.

[@yomogami4561]

wouldn't it be funny if the humans didn't know that tentacles pulled them into and followed them out of the warp while the aliens promptly ban that method and the aliens offer them their pick of ftl tech to not use it again. upon showing the humans video of the entry and exit the u.n. agrees whole heartedly second story makes clonk sad

[@FuryHawk4040]

Having recently lost my bestest good boy pupper, this hit me pretty hard. Also, my name is actually Peter.

[@Inufan2005]

You never forget your pets, they are truly members of the family.

[@anthonymolina2979]

Why you gotta make me sad?

[@larryjanson4011]

rip, holly, molly, ben, snoopy, poika, lassie,

[@dylanfraser9136]

love the story

[@Maeshalanadae]

“Humans did WHAT?!?” Pretty much sums up HFY stories. 😂

[@seldonwright4345]

Having recently lost my own little friend I got tears. Onion ninjas.

[@allancornell2191]

Sometimes I wonder if science fiction is a roundabout way of introducing ourselves to other sentient life

[@Mikakarot23]

I love Clonk.

[@Kualinar]

Story 1. Achieve FTL by tickling and embracing the Great, Mighty, Cthulhu.

[@Kanamesamasqueen]

THEY FOUND FUCKING CTHULHU?!?!?

[@yadrielmedina6969]

My Heart, My Soul.

[@KwaterbugBUTCHER]

For the Algorithm ,For the Author(s), For the Disembodied voice!

[@VulpisFoxfire]

First story: "Humans discover Warp drive." :-)

[@RealArcalian]

Greetings, Mentlegent! For the Rhyhtm that is Algo Story 1: I mean, he's not wrong. Story 2: It is sad, but also whilst trying to explain from/to an alien viewpoint, it got awkward

[@thippach27]

Basically humans will look at cthulhu and be like if not friend why friend shaped?

[@theonetodefyall238]

keeper going

[@azelliafiglo218]

the tales of dogs...why must they be so sad...

[@bradwolf07]

2 great stories and no I just have some dust in my eye, it's nothing

[@TheLostAdventurer]

Oh no...... they built a warp drive..... with no gellar field

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Holographic Voice!

[@jeanannd]

LOL, now do they admit not just the humans but the black tentacled many eyed creatures between dimensions that made the human FTL possible? ROFLOL Story 2: Our cats and dogs never live long enough. No matter how long or healthy they are - it's to short a time.

[@philiplandry]

wonderfull

[@gManGabe]

How does human FTL work? They go through hell.

[@Bananakingchad]

“Captain the drive is active and on stand by!” “Alright hail cuthulu!”

[@chrisdufresne9359]

Maybe we shouldn't have made an Event Horizon style drive. Liberate Tutume Ex Inferis.

[@bf945]

Second one is very cute.

[@ShadowcatAlfa]

so humanity uses yukari yakumo's portals for ftl

[@tomasdubravsky4851]

So we basically entered and used for travel a (in the story) Irl chaos warp from warhammer 40k. Booooooiiiii we boutta have a problem with gods and daemons.

[@dalemorgan8263]

Yee, and I cannot stress this enough, haw.

[@genericuser984]

neat

[@justsomeguywithahandlebarm2456]

Algorithm

[@arent2295]

No way we're gonna reach FTL without having age reversing tech for our pets. And us as well I guess.

[@asandrewsilvaw]

For the algorithm

[@malakifraize4792]

Day 2 of asking Agro Squirrel to continue the Nature of Predators.

[@AgroSquerril]

Was trying to get my voice back up to normal after the surgery , it should be back tomorrow

[@elfeater1760]

For the Algorithm11!

[@kennethwright5664]

So first I see Guardians Vol 3... then I hear that second story... oh yeah, I'm doing great... not emotional at all...

[@merlinwizard1000]

90th, 8 May 2023

[@TheJeikou]

Comment

[@hi14993]

God I dislike the sad ones. It's humanity fuck yeah not humanity sad.

[@sgtbb1905]

1st. Cute

[@isaalghazi9131]

If I didn't have to SEE the Narrator, it would be a LOT better. His presence takes a lot away from the stories. The constant gesticulations, facial cues, and movement makes it almost impossible to enjoy the story.

[@mikeharris6429]

Clonk is a real one.

[@HeilTec]