The Secret to Helping ANY Child Follow Your Directions

[@DulceCreativeStudios]

I would love if you could demo this with a child on camera

[@toddlerscanread]

Examples here with a 4 year old: kzbin.info/www/bejne/rKW7popmf7mZn8ksi=xBGLV4eivAWix3-h

[@margaritavoto9797]

What if the child it’s an adult 50’s

[@Aritul]

@@margaritavoto9797 😂

[@Lisalvsjohn]

Demo this with all 25 kids in the classroom, actually. I’d really love to see that?

[@lerrylee8711]

Good morning, Will this work in a class room setting?

[@threefish5443]

My eyes are watering. I did this was my toddler this morning and no tantrums changing his diaper, putting on his clothes, getting him in the car. Thank you SO much for this.

[@JonathanLittle001]

1:15 mannnnn give MS Williams all her flowers🎉 It was indeed her, because of what she knew. Thank you for sharing it.

[@jkm4836]

I tried it today, and it worked instantly. I'm hooked to this channel. The methods truly do work

[@JoyinIAM]

I will practice this today with my energetic toddler ❤😂❤️ gotta love this age they want to learn so much and also feel empowered that they CAN do things 🙏🏻

[@Pkilla80]

A toddler can't comprehend any of this.

[@JappaKneads]

​@@Pkilla80 So, what can they comprehend?

[@MsPearl33]

This is great. I especially appreciate the statement, "we don't ask questions about things that matter." That hit home.

[@saotul]

I'm not an english speaker so I've problem understanding "what's matter" & "what's not matter"

[@GMaierHandle]

You get to decide. :) Are you indifferent to their response? Ask a question. Do you have an expectation of a certain response of what YOU want them to answer? Don't leave it open-ended and ask a question - give a direction.

[@wesleylima5723]

​@@saotulin this context, what matters is what is important. For example, what really matters is the kid learning. Learning "e" sounds or "a" sounds does not really matter (meaning that it is not important).

[@RingWrapsBoxing]

💯

[@poladelarosa8399]

In Mexico, a parent would never, ever end an order or request with a question mark in their voice. It's just not on their horizon of understanding child management, nor on the child's understanding of obedience.

[@Indigobluehues333]

The world needs more men like this to help mentor our children. 🙌

[@zenbuddhagirl]

I was thinking the same thing. You can see his passion and it's a beautiful thing 😍 ✨️

[@tamrahrane3349]

With him doing this…. He is already doing it :) very wise….

[@joshuaramseur]

No we do not. This specific method is not appropriate.

[@shoogasweet5847]

​@joshuaramseur why? How do you justify your belief? What makes what you say creditable?

[@ellieem4716]

@@shoogasweet5847 My guess is it's a bot because that's just ridiculous. This guy is clearly doing something he's passionate about, has taken the time to learn and "craft" and perfect it in a way he sees the best results. If he's doing it and around kids all the time and it's working, then clearly his method IS appropriate and effective and it's done in a caring way too....kudos to you sir!!! 👏 👏 👏 And thank you for what you do!

[@elizsend6604]

I love this method. This method means the parent has to put their devices away.

[@dwlsn93]

Kiddos too! Parents use the devices as babysitters waaayyy too much.

[@LinMacadilly-vp9nm]

Boy...getting the parents to do both of those two items off and away... is like pulling teeth from what I've seen!!!!

[@elijahpickett5297]

BINGO 👏Present parenting . But that takes accountability 😮

[@Joker-sw2uj]

@@dwlsn93 My children have never used devices, and I believe this is entirely about parenting choices. In my view, devices aren’t meant for children. To model this lifestyle, as a parent, you also need to set boundaries for your own device usage.

[@Magdalena287]

I’m a mom of 5 kids, the act alone of going up to your kid and looking them in the eye is incredibly helpful

[@ceebee7192]

Yes I tried that one right away and it worked. It’s better than raising your voice across rooms- we parents have to be present to make it easier on ourselves.

[@kristinathomas5890]

I have to restart this habit! I was so good at it when I had one kid. Now I have 3 and I do so much shouting across the room. SMH.

[@Rickettsia505]

I taught my husband to use this with his autistic son: eliminate distraction (like tv or video game), get close and down on his level, make eye contact, no yelling. Worked every time!

[@FEED_ME_A_STRAY_CAT]

​@@kristinathomas5890understandable, 3 kiddos must be exhausting!

[@DJ-sv7xf]

I always look people in the eye when talking. I do it with all kids. One said to me, "you're the only person who looks me in the eye when they talk to me". Kids notice and it means a lot to them.

[@cjphillips]

Homeschool single dad here, thank you, I'm on it! #subscribing

[@rhea_celeste]

proud of you! I am a homeschooling single mom and you are an inspiration!

[@cjphillips]

@@rhea_celeste 🙏🏽💜

[@naowright9308]

Sometimes, when I see the lesson is not getting through, I ask them, "What did I say?" Getting them to say the directions sometimes helps them to realize what to do. Cudos to you, dad!

[@cjphillips]

@@naowright9308 thank you, and I needed that reminder ("repeat it back to me").

[@AvaLynn85]

Good job to you. Hats off to you for what you're doing.

[@JuniperLynn789]

He just used all of his strategies on us as adults (minus the touch) and it worked. This guy’s got it!

[@janiquecantey5353]

i was thinking the same... i was totally engaged and ready to teach my child. :)

[@antebellumblackamerican7408]

i was ready to teach a child and I don't have any yet..@@janiquecantey5353

[@hdavis9856]

That's the best way to teach.

[@cgreen8722]

I noticed that 😂. It worked

[@Nervatron]

You're so right! I was completely engaged the whole time watching this!

[@ashleygwenolyn]

You have to believe in your kid. WOW teachers and parents of teenagers especially need to hear this.

[@reginashdown]

It worked a treat with my 12yo this morning! I gave her directions: get out of bed and put your uniform on (with my hand on her hair). Then you can choose what to have for breakfast. And she did it. No shouting, no threats, just cuddles 😅😮❤. Thank you so much🎉

[@RobMedellin]

Still working? I am afraid that they develop some kind of immunity. Like first time they feel the instruction is more special, then you repeat the technique too much that they become just another instruction.

[@edvh88]

Great job mom!!

[@Gordon013]

Wait you have to still wake up your 12 year old? When I was 12 I was expected to be ready for the bus when it came and I made my own breakfast if I wanted something to eat.

[@ForceTranq]

Did she choose candy for breakfast ?

[@leannepayne4081]

I would tell your 12 year old what you expect every morning, then I would get an alarm clock or old phone etc and have it wake the child up in the morning. Tell her/him you need them up, dressed and into the kitchen for breakfast without you doing anything.

[@dyrich6799]

1. Face 2 Face 2.Keep Eye Contact 3. Physical Contact 4. Calm and Confident Energy 5. Clear and Specific 6.Questions(Yes or No) or Statements(😟🙃)Or Directions (🤓)

[@369HueDeeTruthSeekBfr33]

Your the goat

[@vchgs2872]

Thanks!! 🎉🎉 Now inspired to listen to the whole recording.

[@ritamartinez1596]

Ty

[@BlackGirlMajik]

Imagine them being autistic and not making eye contact. What then?

[@downbntout]

​@BlackGirlMajik closer proximity and ignore it

[@greatestsportslegends]

Finally, the KZbin algorithm sent me something of value. This is the best video I've seen on this topic. Ever. Thank you for this. While every child is different, there are definitely some amazing takeaways. For me, the single most important thing is to start off right. When I get this part right, everything else flows. And within that, the single most important thing is my energy level. If I have this set right, and I connect with my son and provide clear direction, things go so, so much better. And never quite understood why some days were so much better than others until I saw this video. And now, I know exactly where I need to focus and fine tune. Thank you for this. I'm going to share it with a number of groups now. Parents that are struggling with the same thing. Thank you again.

[@christianmommybillionaires]

That part😂😂😂

[@theladykaybee]

Agreed! Best video ever. So much value!

[@GeorgiaHomeGuide]

Agree

[@breezypeaches]

Exactly, the most valuable "random" video yet!

[@knowingone1784]

Agreed

[@Sunnybunz1234]

I’m a Montessori teacher and am super proud to say that good Montessori teachers do this naturally and it’s a big part of why Montessori works. Directly connecting the child with the material through your own confident and clear presence.

[@KeeperOfThe10]

I love this guy BUT what I love MOST is that kid he threw behind the chair is SO quiet...not bouncing, screaming, throwing a fit or a shoe at his head, crying, making himself throw up. That KID is amazing! 😵🤣 Silliness aside though, I'm sure this is valid. You're a good teacher.

[@NinaGiles-bg8lb]

Right 🤔

[@Dewingyou1]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@alananiicole]

Bahaha! 😂

[@freetocomment1946]

Joking aside, that was what my mind was on the whole video. What do the other kids do while i am focused on this child and working with this child? Cuz the biggest challenge for me is those ones jumping off the walls while i am working with a kid.

[@jodynanci]

😂😂😂 not me looking for the actual child tho

[@noorhermiz]

I’ve been a teacher/literacy coach for the last 11 years and i’ve never seen it explained this way. Thank you. I needed this.

[@toddlerscanread]

Thank you, Noor! I appreciate it!

[@kollettebryant3432]

Ok now I see why my student wants me around him when he does his work!!!

[@Padraigp]

It's what humans do when speaking to each other. And weirdly children are human beings.

[@Em22-wtf]

This was great at a young age... My child hit 14 & omgggg 😂😂 I was one of those "laughing on the dark abysmal inside" kids & WOW am I paying for that now lol! He's actually not as bad as I was, he just has ZERO interest in school work & aside from grounding, I don't know how to get him to do it or at least CARE about doing the work. And he's one of those kids that CAN do, easily, gets As&Bs when getting off punishment counts. But after that, it slowly dive bombs. I've done that talks, the future is now whole thing, I've done grounding. I won't give up, I just don't know what else to TRY 🥴

[@MarieNimo]

How will this transfer to school, tho? I can't tell my son's teachers how to teach/engage 😬

[@Lighthouse_Leadership]

I watched this with my 7 year old last night. And tonight she caught me asking my 4 year old “do you want to brush your teeth now sweetie?” My 7 year old says “daddy, look her in the eye and use a firm voice” 🤯😳 So this time I got in my 4 year olds face, touched her shoulder and said “time to brush your teeth sweetie. Do you want to start with the top or bottom?” “TOP!” Amazing. So clearly explained my 7 year old could coach me. and it worked perfectly when applied. You, sir, are a gift. THANK YOU

[@zam1007]

Haha, to the naughty step with you sir, think about what you did wrong for 20 mins. 😂

[@autumnstoptwo]

i love that 😂😂😂 from the mouth of babes 😁

[@carolstarks5349]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@nonamehere-y2t]

Wonderful.

[@Ily_anjurae]

Baby girl used the same method on daddy 😆

[@jessicawilson2772]

The simple fact you ask for the most difficult children... in addition to caring enough to simply share how to teach most effectively... shows you not only know what you're doing, but care about children enough to do it most effectively. Thank you for doing the most essential work and doing it so well. ❤

[@tobiasjone]

Imagine if all teachers had this level of understanding… society would be transformed.

[@omnium_gatherum]

But parents too, because a lot of the time poor parenting causes issues with their child in the classroom that can disrupt learning for everyone.

[@robintisdale-turner5061]

Parents have a bigger role than teachers. Teachers only work with what parents send them. Children belong to the parents not the teachers. Parents raise children not teachers. Dont forget who is ultimately responsible for the child.

[@tomare6479]

Imagine if men comprised 40+ %of teachers and all boys / girls schools came back.

[@tomare6479]

@@robintisdale-turner5061parents raise adults, teachers when all women, is a low-grade crime against humanity for boys

[@eyespy3001]

Many do have this level of understanding, and many have the intention to be this engaged and engaging. However, the problem is that classrooms are too big to allow this level of engagement. You can’t give tailored attention to each and every student when you have 30+ kids in the classroom. An interesting experiment for large classrooms would be to break the entire classroom down into groups of five and have aides assigned to each group. So there would be one teacher commanding the class and giving the lectures/lessons while the aides guide each group along with the attention and engagement shown in this video. I understand, however, that this would cost the school A LOT of money, hiring several aides for each class. Though, this can be part of a student teacher’s path to becoming a teacher, the same way that students in medical schools have to put in a certain amount of hours in residencies before becoming doctors.

[@Moving_Forward247]

A VERY IMPORTANT VIDEO. I am a pediatrician and will recommend this to parents.

[@ukulelekitten15]

You’re going to recommend to parents that it’s ok for teachers to touch their kids? Wow.

[@jennybrown5302]

​@@ukulelekitten15 It is. There is a difference between appropriate and inappropriate touch. We are *way* too human interaction and touch deprived in American culture. We're social animals, not sterile robots who only touch one another in contact sports or twice a day for a quick hug in the morning and before bed. And people wonder why everyone's lonely and depressed and anxious. Teach your children about appropriate touch inappropriate touch like you're supposed to. Problem solved.

[@Blockishbookhead]

What you’re saying about attention sounds a lot like what my holistic doctor told me about a baby’s nervous system. The baby’s nervous system is underdeveloped so they need to be held a lot to learn to be calm. So through touch, the baby feels us being calm and then learns to be calm as well. I wonder if a similar thing is happening in the brain with attention. Through our gaze and touch being directed at the kids (our full attention), their brains are learning to pay attention. It’s like a synchronizing process. If our attention is split, so will theirs. If we are not calm, they won’t be either. Very interesting. Great video! Thank you for all this thought-provoking content!

[@queendeche4555]

I’ve had the same thoughts about my 19 month old! I notice that when he has my full attention, he is relaxed, content, and happy. If I’m trying to multitask on my phone or not really engaging him, he doesn’t know what to do with himself lol. Great comment!

[@britneywade3411]

Thank you so much for this comment!

[@sarah-jaynemcdonald2594]

Yip. They are little sponges.

[@Malina4477]

Ye!!! I notice this with my son! I focus and are in the moment myself it helpes him. Work with my energy is everything❤

[@sawdustadikt979]

Co-regulation

[@anncorrell2399]

The VERY BEST explanation of Questions vs Statements vs Directions!

[@TheSarahSunKissed]

I was a nanny for a decade and a mother. Even the “difficult” kids always behaved incredibly well with me but were the complete opposite with their parents. All because of these very points. I also homeschooled my daughter long before covid and can attest that toddlers can learn to read and love the learning process. Thank you for sharing this with the world🙏🏼

[@toddlerscanread]

You're welcome! And I appreciate you sharing. : )

[@valeriemccallnxhfbfhddhd6204]

Is this only for toddlers? I have a 11 yr old granddaughter

[@violetgutierrez5315]

Kids always behave different with parents

[@Kirsty178]

That’s because they are probably neurodivergent. They will mask and comply to protect them selfs but when they get home it’s their safe place all that build up stress has overloaded there system and it has to come out. The Coke bottle effect!

[@TheFakeyCakeMaker]

I'll just say it depends on the child. I could read from 2, my youngest is learning letters and numbers but my oldest still struggles and has a learning difficulty despite my best efforts.

[@Amber-be9oh]

I felt inspired by this as nowadays teachers and child experts are so keen to labeling children with life time behavioural condition instead of empowering kids and parents to do more. Keep up the good work.

[@davidm4566]

Kids all have ADHD and ADD because they are kids! Some are just worse than others and need medicine or therapy, but it's still normal-like they are kids too.

[@RachelledelaRosa]

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@thesincitymama]

My parents fought vigorously to avoid “labeling” me in the 70s and 80s. Instead they made me “learn how to act right” but masking my true nature was actually harmful for me. I still have a lifetime neurological and developmental disorder, even though my parents didn’t “label” me. It didn’t go away just because they refused to allow a diagnosis.

[@thedailygrind-m70]

It starts at home. As a former teacher, both regular ed and special ed, I can't tell you how many parents demand their children get tested. They think getting them a label A) will get them a monthly check, (yes, they say this) and B) they think a label will get their child some magic 1 on 1 instruction. In one year's time my special ed caseload doubled due to parent referrals, most for ADHD. Schools do NOT want to label the kids. I had many parents cry if their child didn't meet criteria. I had parents lie so their kids could be put on drugs and basically be zombies. It is a mess.

[@dharmapunk777]

I didn't find out I have ADHD until I was an adult at 36 yrs old. I was a fuck up and a loser and still kind of am despite being told I was smart my whole life (was reading at the college level in grade 3). There is a chance I could have done much better if I had been given the right tools to succeed instead of just being told " you could do so much better if you just applied yourself." @@thedailygrind-m70

[@ladyofspa]

Effective communication + positive energy= happy successful people.

[@angelaearly820]

This method was how I dealt with my son’s autism. Thankyou for this😊.

[@pbam5500]

Did it or is it working for him?

[@Backwoodsmom]

Wonderful advice! Honestly, this applies to adults as well. How many times have we gotten upset at a partner for us telling/asking them to do something and they don’t or they “forget” but in reality they never really heard us or weren’t paying attention in the first place. I tell my husband all the time, if something is important to you that you want me to do/hear/remember, bring me aside, look into my eyes, make sure I’m listening and then tell me. Don’t tell me in passing, don’t text me, don’t tell me while I’m busy doing something else; if it’s important, get my undivided attention and vice versa.

[@melissagarcia4484]

Great advice thank you

[@Moveaflow]

Hard to in the hustle and bustle of things but I think I really need this

[@M_Jaggard]

Things with adults are a bit different especially if you're a manager. Adults need to solve problems themselves more - giving a statement of a problem is often better than instructions on how to solve it and you might be pleasantly surprised how it's resolved.

[@suzannelesser5468]

Yes! I see it sometimes in a long text or email where the sender has a lot of detailed information. Much of which is a sort of thing people would skim. Then towards the end, The person makes a statement, when she should make a command. Usually people miss the command in this scenario.

[@sherinebrown-fraser5141]

True

[@ezedoesit]

I started implementing this a few days ago. I realized in order to give my children instructions, I have to know what I want them to do. I have to have a plan. I also realized how often I ask my children questions! wow. no wonder it's getting complicated and heated. Thank you for sharing this! I am a better communicator!

[@elisabethjones4917]

Right. I actually had to back up a couple frames to catch the difference between statement and direction. Going to try this with my oldest tomorrow.

[@beautyybeautyy9899]

Same! I phrase most things in the form of a question with my gentle baby friendly voice. No wonder she goes rouge each time 😅

[@meaningfulideas]

I'm curious now that it's 5 months later, are you still avoiding questions and making statements instead? And is it still working? Are you still getting cooperation from that method? It's interesting to follow up later.

[@RemeberME24]

Thank you so much😢 I have 4 years old twin girls and a 2 yrs old son, and this is my first time trying to homeschool them. GOD knew I had needed to see this! This really encourages me❤

[@suzybearheart530]

You're awesome for homeschooling! Best of luck!

[@Be_Light_Be_Love_Be_Divine]

❤❤❤❤

[@meed8738]

You got this! I went into it(meaning homeschool) very optimistic and unsure at the same time. We started homeschooling our oldest (5yo F) last August(2023) when she was 4yo. Spencer’s vids have definitely helped. You got this mama!

[@lucindalandauer1691]

Take your time mom! Don’t rush the learning process. Kids don’t need much at those ages. You got this!

[@RemeberME24]

Thank you all so much for your encouragement! This really helps me 💜🙏🏽🦋😊

[@PortaPunch]

What is incredible is that I think I did this method without knowing it the other day. My 3-year-old daughter was bicycling ahead of us too far and we were yelling at her to come back but she wouldn't. Once I caught up with her I knelt down in front of her looked her in the eye and held her arm and told her why not to do that and that we were trying to make her safe. From then on she listened to us when we told her to come back. This is really amazing teaching. I'm going to try this when I get home again.

[@lizzyreid_gibbee]

I just watched this video today and immediately in 15 minutes I tried it with my 7 year old son (to get his reading done). It worked!!! He did try to test the waters midpoint but I didn’t waiver from my new position. He conceded and everything continued on smoothly. Looking forward to the days ahead and beyond. Thank you sir, God used you to bring peace in my home 🙏🏽

[@WlmaAlexender-zl6nx]

3rd grade special ed teacher here. We us these techniques in my trade, they help regardless of kids needs. I'm glad more parents and teachers are learning them. God bless you and keep you.

[@AbrahamOfWorms]

I have a 3 year old and this video just gave me a few major breakthroughs. I wish I could give this man a hug.

[@lisashoemaker2781]

This is amazing. I am excited to try these techniques with my grandson who has problems with focus.

[@TraceyNouveau]

Thank you for sharing these results-- I'm going to be trying this method today!! ❤❤❤

[@evarivas9172]

Thankyou so much, I will share it with my daughters for my grand kids❤❤❤❤❤. I will try it when they come over.❤❤❤😊

[@Dillon.amadeus]

This just changed my parenting and my teaching career. Seriously. I saw this video on my bathroom break and then implemented these techniques in my classroom and it worked, and I’m excited to go home and change how I father my sons.

[@adamcotterill3511]

It’s a 13 min video. You watched it on your bathroom break? 😮 Must have been a hot curry the night before. 😊

[@kofiholman8325]

​@@adamcotterill3511 😅

[@ElderandOakFarm]

Love this l!

[@ElderandOakFarm]

​@@adamcotterill3511 I didn't even realize that! Haha! Is your name Denver by chance? I have a coworker that disappears to the bathroom all the time...

[@coutureleotards]

😂😂 that was a long bathroom break 😂😂❤

[@eensanom]

This just unlocked something.. I have a faint memory of feeling very good whenever my mom put her hand on me while asking me to do something when I was in my early teen years. It felt very warm, « connected » and I really wanted to do whatever she asked of me. Thank you for this memory.

[@tonioent3713]

I’m 30. I had no men or women teachers like this growing up until maybe senior year high school. These kids will excel with teachers like him.

[@JSapphire908]

OMG....I always do this with my niece (2.5) when I'm teaching her; not realizing this was an actual technique. She loves to come to my house to learn things. This makes me feel good knowing I'm on the right track as I would love to do these things with my own children one day 🥰 I tell my sister all the time it's the energy

[@SimplyNatoya]

I tell my sister that it’s about her and her husband’s energy all the time as well! Children are so smart and have so much potential even at the youngest of ages. 🩷

[@JSapphire908]

@Scybertine I think the daycare I went to back then was like this and my Granny (rest her soul). She definitely had the patience of a Saint and was a 2nd grade teacher in her day💜

[@maxzytaruk8558]

This guy has such a natural gift. Yes, he obviously has practice and great observation skills with his mentors and colleagues, but genuinely from his soul he's great at this

[@wesman6445]

As a preschool teacher, I actually use these techniques without even noticing. I always loved working with behavioral children, because I love turning them around.

[@cecbkk]

Thats good . Nowadays they put too many kids in classes and the teachers are pushed around ...

[@farik-hr8th]

What do u say about a teacher who keeps sending a 2 nd grader home at least once a week because of behavioral problems .

[@wesman6445]

@@farik-hr8th sometimes it's the teacher that's the problem. I personally feel like it's part of my job to fix that behavior. I think it's because my 1st teaching experience was when I was going for my black belt and we needed teaching hours as part of our training.

[@stevenmontoyota]

​@farik-hr8th how if ever, did this problem get resolved?

[@foulkesfamaccount5708]

I don’t have any young children but I used to be a teacher for over 25 years and you are amazing! I never leave comments but I wish I had known you when I began teaching. Such great advice. Teaching others is definitely a gift you have and I thank you for sharing.

[@JenniferAbbott-ym7tt]

Fake it til you make it has always been my motto as a teacher! 😂 Never let them see you stressed or frazzled!

[@bjpayne03]

Finally, quality content on KZbin. Listen to the strategies, embrace the philosophy, believe in the process. Intentional and consistent are the keys. Great video.

[@toddlerscanread]

Thanks so much- appreciate it!

[@liv-oi6vg]

i'm not a toddler but i listened to this video like few others. what a presence. humans work the same no matter the age, they just have different levels of understanding and self control. he sure is doing something very right.

[@ALL_CAPS__]

Teaching is definitely an art form, as much as it is a skill and labor of love. You all need more respect and especially compensation than you get in our society. thank you for what you do and everyone in the profession.

[@Kubaszakwillow]

This works with so much of parenting , not just teaching , my children are so well behvaed when i keep on top of myself with this kind of behavior myself . It makes the family work well together

[@Nigerianbestie]

Have seen them when you are not there?.. Kids are mafias

[@theresagomez2605]

Pretty much all of parenting is teaching. Children are learning by watching everything you do.

[@theresagomez2605]

​@@Nigerianbestiehypocritical parents give mixed messages, which results in this duplicitous behavior.

[@annoyingyoutuber365]

My children are hurting from things myself and their dad has done, spankings and yelling. He has passed away but I'm trying to rebuild our home. I'm glad and grateful I came about onto your page

[@gabriellecole3429]

I'm so sorry for your loss

[@brianamariamcginley-downey5958]

❤❤

[@joannaericksen7728]

Awesome video for sure. I will be using it. Try KYLO for healthy family relationships. It’s excellent also.

[@Angelwing1963]

Bless you and your family ❤

[@elisabethjones4917]

​@@gabriellecole3429same. Bless you for helping them heal, and I hope you are able to grieve and heal in the process.

[@zzthunder1547]

I love this. I was a substitute teacher for years. I loved it because I felt gifted to do it. My children would request me and teachers wondered why because traditionally, children hate subs and give them a hard time. Watching you I realize that I engaged the children. My energy and expectations were as you stated. These same seemingly obnoxious kids would fall in line for me and not there teacher. Many of them I would see at the grocery store and they run to give me a hug. Best pay day in the world. No one cares what you know until they know that you care. Life changing.

[@pamelamanning99]

"No one cares what you know until they know you care". Thank you for that statement, it's priceless.

[@randc214]

I was a sub for many years and loved it! I had the exact same experiences as you such as being requested by children and teachers. I also didn’t know why until watching this video and realizing I had engaged the children into learning. Unfortunately covid ended that career for me and I went into being a nanny which I love doing but I miss my classrooms so much sometimes it hurts.

[@quietwarrior4]

Thank you for being a teacher! Thank you! Thank you!

[@heidibrown997]

Thanks for sharing this. God bless you ❤

[@katielove9932]

You as a teacher is great. But please know how to spell correctly. (their teacher). Not (there teacher) A teacher can spell.

[@liviousyoung4911]

We need more teachers like you !

[@johnzeigler5652]

The way you took ownership and responsibility.. is so inspiring to me as a father! This is a real man!

[@maincharactermisty]

I’m raising a 6 year old girl and I grew up in a hostile environment and I don’t want to be them😅 it gets incredibly frustrating when I have been so well with other kids now that I have my own I lose my sauce or something when she tests me. I’m unlearning my childhood and remothering myself to make sure my years w my child are MUCH SOFTER. This is my favorite thing to run into again bc I have been subbed for a while and the 1st year of homeschooling is kickin my behind. 😂😂😂 I’m going to be 6x better by the end of the year😊🎉

[@davidmarquez1267]

i’m going through the same with my two boys, I grew up where you were screamed at and hit and when I get tested my reaction is to yell .. this helps so much . I try so hard to fight my instincts

[@maincharactermisty]

@@davidmarquez1267 facts but stay strong😓😅😭 lol It’s like when a woman told me in the store I was handling it well when my daughter was flipping out on me before the age of one🥴, “ in 100 years it’s not gonna matter what she was doing” and I’d like to add to that, and say not only will it not matter what they were doing, but what will matter is, how you reacted to it.

[@davidmarquez1267]

@@maincharactermisty I try to take two deep breaths first 😂

[@twitterblackdove]

​@@maincharactermisty what kind of advice? That was so shady because in 100 years we'll all be dead. Anyway, at age 6 they're really already made into the adult they're going to be emotionally. The formative years start in the womb, but I'm sure you already knew that before you got pregnant. Be well, take care.

[@WorkerBeesUnite]

@@twitterblackdovetrue just don’t be one of those parents who treats their kids like the grown up they want them to be and doesn’t allow them to be a kid and have an adult protect and enjoy presence with them

[@ChristSaves88]

As a former educator and now a “stay at home mom” I can tell you that he is a 100% CORRECT! This methods works and my class would run smoothly because of it! 😊 Great information sir!

[@marlinmelendez-laboymrs.pr9573]

This makes so much sense. I am homeschooling my two kids one 9 years old and the other one is 7 years old. And this info DOES helps. Thank you, Jesus!! ❤❤

[@GedemPippin]

I don’t know how this exactly popped up in my feed, but I have immense gratitude for watching this. I’m a father of three, eldest is six and youngest is three, and I have been struggling with defiance, reluctance, spouts of angry backlash when it’s difficult for them to understand… and through everything I’ve tried and heard, nothing quite helps the way this does. You explained this better than anyone has in the past and I think it’s going to really help. Thankyou

[@hannahm1670]

It works every time because you’re giving each child the time of day and the respect as a human being. You’re still giving them choices, which helps them feel empowered, and you’re showing them that you care and they matter.

[@keyo888]

Yes for the things that "don't matter." The things that really matter he says there are no options. You have to be direct and confident and still at the same time treat them with respect....Now, if you were only talking about the things that don't matter, then my apologies

[@joyswenson7941]

I taught for 17 years in secondary, and while some of these elements are not as doable with older kids (like physical touch), whenever I’ve applied these things- BAM, the kids focus more, we get things done, good vibes in the classroom, less behavior issues. It’s an awesome learning experience. Thanks for posting!

[@lapis9749]

I wish I found this 6 years ago trying to get my then 2 year old niece ready for daycare in the morning! When he said give me the “hard to teach kids” it brought tears to my eyes. This is the type of people we need more of in education and in general in the world. ❤ I am definitely going to follow a lot of this with my employees as well! I manage 14 year olds to 75 year olds and I imagine it would work with a lot of them. ❤

[@BeeHappy968]

Every child is born with a yearning to learn. They push themselves to roll over, sit, crawl, walk, talk, and it doesn’t end there. Education is just another milestone they need adults’ help with. It’s so beautiful to watch a child blossom that was once labeled lazy/unmotivated/hating to learn. This was a great video!

[@Nworthholf]

Unfortunately, our education system is designed to kill that learning desire in kids in every possible way :c

[@asaleemeadows]

Dad of 2 boys, 8&6. Don’t know why YT brought me here, but so glad. This is going to be great to use for teaching how to tie their shoes, following the directions in homework and even in coaching. So excited to try this out.

[@ljackson24]

Shout out to you & the boys. They can do it. My son taught himself at 4. Kinda freaked me and his teachers out but it’s cool. lol We’re working on getting better at following directions. He’s struggling with that right now. Some days are really good and some are, not so good.

[@EbonyBomani]

I’m not in childhood education nor do I have kids of my own, but helped rear several of my nieces and nephews. This information is GOLDEN! Thank you! 🙏🏾

[@elineman7]

I have a child, with down syndrome, who spent the last 3 1/2 years on medical leave from her special school. She was already learning at a slow rate, but now I’m so upset that she’s behind; She had heart surgery last year, and has been released to go back to school; but we are struggling. Thank you for sharing these tips, I will definitely implement them .

[@hilaryhiggins4643]

Hey! I’m not a parent, but an auntie and photographer who directs a lot of kids on set. This is so absolutely true and such a helpful refresher!! Kids are so smart and see right through us.

[@chardiemarie7455]

This is perfectly explained. I was a Child Development Specialist at a local hospital and this is exactly what i did but I couldn’t have explained it better. I worked with children with all types of developmental delays and it works. Even kids who have experienced trauma and are labeled “bad” kids respond to it. That confident, calm energy is everything. It makes them feel safe and secure. Even now I use this with my kids at home. 👏🏽👏🏽

[@deborahrigby5428]

My dad did this with us as children over 60 years ago! I miss my dad and I’ve been using this with my 4 grand nieces. No screaming, slapping or hollaring. But simple face 2face conversation., yesss all these my dad was such a wonderful dad❤️

[@angelinasanchez3649]

It’s weird to me that this needs to be taught😅 somewhere along the time line things got so lost

[@tomraineofmagigor3499]

​@@angelinasanchez3649broken homes and neglect

[@hanonmera8092]

May he rest in peace 🙏

[@Simz199x]

❤❤❤❤

[@deborahrigby5428]

@@Simz199x hey is that Simz or Sims pls let me know k

[@Stayhydrated736]

Not a teacher nor do I have any small children and I literally just watched this entire video

[@lapis9749]

Same! I am however a manager of 50ish employees ages between 15 and 75 and I can imagine ways this could be modified for them! 😊

[@ЕкатеринаРеуцкова-ф9ф]

😂😂😂

[@jesbury6597]

SAME! Though I was a teacher's aide YEARS ago. 😉 I am considering how to use this with a family member with dementia.

[@ososupa8804]

Same. Just was curious because I see people with children all the time and they don't know how to be patient with them.

[@Twist3dAng3l]

Same. My husband has ADHD and I'm always trying to learn how to communicate with him to get things done without sounding like I'm nagging him.

[@bamchel]

You sir, are a child whisperer. Thanks for sharing this gem of information!

[@elizabethpeterson56]

one time i saw my son calm his 2 yr old daughter so easily and even quickly i called him the 2 yr old whisperer. i think he had this knowlege and ability ar birth. he grew me up.

[@barbmiracle]

The statement vs directive bit is gold. I was watching my grands and I was telling them it's time to go and no one was moving. After a few attempts I recognized what my miss was and started telling each one, walk out to the car. And there they went. When they're excited or distracted it's more difficult for them to understand/extract the action that's being asked for in a statement.

[@katielove9932]

Children need guidance.

[@BlessedBeyondCompare]

I’m a grown woman and I sometimes struggle with this! This is a great reminder to me - I’m going to find out what difference it makes for my son. ❤

[@Thelilichannel6907]

I teach two kids German in a private home. They are under age 12. I didn't realize how much I needed this. Thank you for being so to-the-point!

[@G0bus]

Maybe they don’t want to learn it because they don’t need it anywhere else. If they would go to a school in Germany, doing sports in a german team or have german friends they might have an intrinsic motivation to learn german in no time I would guess.

[@vanessatexas-mama6769]

I’m a nanny of a 3 year old- I’m teaching him to read. He’s doing great but this will help immensely! Can’t wait to implement these tips on Monday!

[@CalmBeforeTheStorm76]

This is the essence of being a good parent. All it is, is this. It's so damn simple. Human connection, and allowing the kid to feel they are in control.

[@TheresaDennis]

This is excellent. Admittedly I purchased the entire program thinking that YOU were teaching (via video) and felt a bit overwhelmed when I realized you were teaching US PARENTS how to teach our kids! Whew 😅😅😅. This is just what I needed! My 4 yr old is ready but I haven’t given her the attention to really so this! I have a 13 month old as well. I must say these videos are giving me the confidence to start again! Thank you so much for this!!! Can’t wait to share my success!!

[@toddlerscanread]

Glad it was helpful! You’ve got this! 💪🏽

[@zuzana1717]

I am so happy I found your channel today ! You got yourself a new subscriber. Great job! Thank you so much ! 🙏🏼💛

[@wendyreyeshudson7431]

I’m a teacher (retired) and I love this! I wish I had this when I first started. You are blessing to new teachers!!!

[@MichelleMarks-jg1wq]

You can feel the energy of how a child feels by holding the hand. They can feel your energy how you feel. Giving and receiving receiving of energy.

[@meerubfatima7498]

Tomorrow is my first day at school as a kindergarten teacher... Listening and learning to these points have made me more confident and you have literally explained to me how should i perform at school... Thanks alot

[@queendeche4555]

I hope the school year went well for you! ❤

[@meerubfatima7498]

@@queendeche4555 yeah it went very well thanks ❣️

[@ustaadaadam]

How was the the year

[@meerubfatima7498]

@@ustaadaadam it was very tough at first as I was new ... Every senior tried to bully me ... But now alot of time has passed actually... I'm trained .. The things which used to take a lot of time ... Now I just do them within seconds... It just makes me feel so glad that I've came across a long path ... Well but after it's been a year since I'm teaching ...now I'm looking for a bigger school a better opportunity... Hopes to get one

[@Theoriginalshishi]

This is so good. I work with children with autism, and we use this type of teaching method. It doesn’t matter what the student chooses, but that he is choosing something that you want to teach. You set them up for success.

[@jupeisatrip8626]

So true, my child on the spectrum responds very well to this type of calm direction. Sometimes other parents are annoyed if they have to wait while I seemingly overexplain what is happening to him but guess what, I DONT CARE and also I promise you don’t want to deal with my kid at this party or event if they’ve been under explained to!

[@donnaanderson7104]

Agreed! I work in ABA too! Yes this method is a game changer with any child. Great content!

[@jayma7430]

this makes me more confident that these tips will work with my daughter who has autism and adhd ☺️

[@theoneandonly1158]

As an adult with ADHD and Autism, you can try sure. BUT, if I'm over stimulated , good luck anything going in. You need to accommodate sounds, smells, light, textures... the 'looking at the eyes' , I never liked that. I was forced for many decades. It did so much damage. And I'm 40 now. Late diagnosed. If someone would have told me my diagnosis as a child I would have immediately felt better. But now that I'm an adult. I have to grieve my old life, and live a new life.

[@kirstieperez2704]

​@theoneandonly1158 I ask this as sensitively as I can so please hear me. If someone you trusted (like a parent) would have to explained that looking in the eyes can build confidence, would that have helped? I struggled with it too but want to know if that would have helped. I was always demanded to look when it physically would hurt. I can do it now but it's uncomfortable sometimes. I know it does build my confidence now so I'm wondering if anyone else could have maybe benefitted from an explanation over our parents demanding "respect" usually ..😅 hopefully this makes sense

[@Blackout2008ROE]

I can teach any age and ability how to swim , and these are the exact methods I’ve gathered in all my 15 years of experience , all while keeping kids safe and intrigued while in the water . This guy for sure knows his stuff .

[@b1beautysupply]

Calm and confident not only worked while I was raising my five children, but it also worked with my pets. Yes, my cat does sit nicely and waits for me to open the cat food. Lol.

[@itsmaryyahhmean]

This was clear, well spoken, and straight forward. Noted for my future babies ☺️

[@LeeannSmith-wz4lp]

As a parent I love to see "for my future babies"

[@MattHanr]

I think we’ve all picked up on the teachers that get kids to listen vs those that don’t. Good for you for taking the extra step and figuring out why and then relating it to parents

[@WarpaintFTW]

I'm a new homeschool mom of a 5 and 4 yo with a 2.5 and 7mo.. I'm so grateful for the tips! You are confirming a lot of things my mom told me and you are giving me new insight on how to engage with my kids as we learn together ❤️

[@toddlerscanread]

I'm glad!

[@stephanier.8625]

I don’t have kids. But a man, of color, teaching the internet about child care. Subscribed. #support

[@edaturk7529]

What’s colour got to do with it??! We are all human.

[@katiijann]

@@edaturk7529Because it’s rare to see, they always portray our black men as bad people. So what the original commenter said is validated.

[@edaturk7529]

⁠@@katiijannwell it depends on what you’re watching and how you perceive it. There are good and bad in every race and religion. Look how they portray most Muslims for example- as terrorists. I’ve seen men of colour in real life and films etc that are surgeons or lawyers or successfully trained persons who aren’t criminals. It’s comments like this that drive a wedge between humanity and make everything black and white. This way of thinking is very wrong- in my experience. But it won’t change the reality of what it is. Bless

[@edaturk7529]

@@katiijannalso I didn’t say what they said was not valid. Everyone’s opinions are valid and their own

[@katiijann]

@@edaturk7529 Okay if their opinions are validated then it shouldn’t be hard to understand. I was simply replying to “what does color have to do with it.” & that’s exactly what it is… let them have their moment, without questioning them, there are others who understand and liked their comment. If it’s not for you and you don’t understand just keep scrolling.. tbh

[@emiliasworld3511]

I am a 36 yr old, first time mom. You have taught me sooooo much, thank you. Im sending this to all my friends. Thaaaaank you. My daughter is 1 and im gonna use this method and watch this video as much as possible until we get it right.❤

[@kellydtherealtor]

My son is 3 and he can read very well for his age. He recognizes and remembers most kindergarten sight words already as well.❤

[@queendeche4555]

Hi, what kind of strategies are you using with him? My son is 19 months and recognizes certain letters and makes the phonetic sounds (sounds them out!) when he sees them. He’s not talking as much as I’d like though. I would love to hear what’s worked for you even though we’re obviously a bit younger than your little one. And great job mom! ❤

[@kellydtherealtor]

@@queendeche4555I ask my child tons of questions to keep his mind stimulated. Things that he really has to think about or jog his memory for. Now that hes almost 4, he takes initiative by asking lots of questions as well. Repetition and routine play a big part in our lives which I think is helpful. The biggest factor is my son's eagerness to learn new things everyday. He also has a great memory to the point where I'm pretty much amazed myself. He's literally a sponge that once he hears or sees something once he remembers it forever lol. He can tell you about things that happened when he was 1 and 2 years old.

[@hi_pinky22]

Yay 🎉

[@Maderlololohio]

Also toss in numberblocks they helped our son count and do math at second grade level while in kindergarten.

[@Natty88580]

Wow mine too, which is so remarkable

[@deannabanman243]

I’m a student teacher and I just sent this out to my cohort as we are welcoming a behaviour strategist to our lecture today. Thank you 💕

[@sontinhlapo4303]

Im in South Africa and its 2am. I randomly Google how to teach my child and i came across you sir and i started feeling hopeful after watching your videos. 😢i have been struggling with my behavior on approaching my son and i have not been winning and i have been very afraid of failing my sons. This is very new to hear and extremely helpful... I thank God for popping your videos to my face.

[@Serenity_escapes]

Coming across this video while raising a 15 month old and expecting another is golden. Thank you

[@kay3-q8d]

Im 20 with no kids, but I love kids, and I love seeing that there’s content like this out there👏 GO you sir! All teachers need to see this :)

[@przemysawpakua9619]

Being a teacher is not only about implementing the core curriculum. But also, and perhaps above all, the ability to talk to the student. Thank You.

[@KYLE_FROM_THE_FUTURE]

I’m a father of an amazing son with autism. Semi-non verbal but he fully understands me when I speak. Eye contact is extremely hard for him on the spectrum and I know that how clear and concise I am… will make or break the entire possibility of his focus. All great tips, thank you. 🙏

[@Rickettsia505]

Especially important to keep instructions short and simple with both my autistic stepson and my husband!

[@BusyBooksByAaron]

Eye contact makes it harder to listen (a lot of the time) when you’re autistic. We either look at you or listen. Doing both is absolutely overwhelming. I stop listening as soon as someone stares directly into my eyes. I have to remind people that I listen with my ears and I am paying attention. Same happens with my son. Always assume competence and give the littles the tools needed for their individual needs.

[@Rickettsia505]

@@BusyBooksByAaron good to know, but it worked with mine. I guess everyone is different.

[@BusyBooksByAaron]

@@Rickettsia505 we’re all different. Glad you found what worked for yours!

[@kalsangdrolkar]

I am a preschool teacher. Over the years I've worked with two through five year olds. - I do this all the time -- especially with the youngest ones! (Twos REALLY need this direct connection and focusing support to help them attend!) - but I have never heard what I do to help children follow directions broken down so clearly and concisely!! -- And, honestly, I know I could never have explained what I am doing TO anyone as a strategy because - for me - it's a way of working with children that has come from an intuitive place. I've never thought about breaking it down strategically -- but now -- if a parent ever asked me how to help their child follow directions at home -- I would have such an amazing, concise six step process to offer them! Thank you for giving me the words to easily explain and share what I do every day!! SO GRATEFUL my You Tube feed sent you to me today!!! 😊💖

[@vantishasellshomes]

You are a genius! I used this Technique and got my picket eater to try three new foods tonight! Thank you so much for this content!

[@chriscamba7556]

Amazing😮... I am with open mouth... Today is the first time I received a task from my sons nursery. He is 3 years boy non verbal and on the pathway for ASD. I am truly convinced that despite his condition he can do anything, so AMEN, I thank God for this video, cause I was here trying to think how to call his attention to help him with the homework. Thank you very much for sharing this video, I'll definitely come back to give you the feedback. God bless

[@thislittlepiggy-bedtime-videos]

God bless you. I homeschool and I needed this reminder. Thank you very much.

[@zenbuddhagirl]

Thank you for this information. I'm not a teacher, but a mother of 4 boys. My youngest is 8, so I may have missed a few steps 😅, but this helps me understand even adults for that matter. My oldest is 20. Energy is everything.

[@LaZog11]

As an autistic person, I appreciate a video rooted in regulating children's nervous systems while learning. For me, as not every autistic person feels the same, I don't want any eye contact, I want side-by-side physical contact to feel regulated, and I do NOT want to be touched by someone besides the side-by-side. Instead of eyes, I would focus on hands and an object of learning (and sounds) and seeing the adult move the object around would help me. I agree that energy matters, and calm/confident energy when it's faked feels even more like a demand, which triggers the PDA profile of autism. Options (like this or that) helps increase autonomy without feeling lost in the sauce from an open-ended question. For me, I respected people most who were calmly saying categorically a time was happening and allowing options for autonomy after that time has been accepted. Usually I wanted to do an activity but struggled with the transition into it, which was interpreted as not wanting to do the activity, eventually seen as defiance. You mentioned a dance party as a reward, but if I danced before to feel regulated, I would be ready to learn and the learning was rewarding for me. I appreciate the assertion this video's strategies work, but one strategy will never work for every child, and this mindset can harm autistic children who end up failing to appropriately respond to a "tried and true" approach. It's great to have disclaimers that certain disabilities might need a modified approach. It doesn't make what you're sharing less impactful to be honest. Thank you for your video.

[@colorfulcrochet371]

What is “the PDA profile of autism”?

[@adelais]

I feel this way too, thanks for putting it into words.

[@adelais]

@@colorfulcrochet371and pda profile is “pathological demand avoidance” it’s like …I might have a plan for my day like I’m going to do thing a and b then empty the dishwasher. If someone were to say, “empty the dishwasher “ while I’m doing task a or b, suddenly my brain does not want to. I’ll refuse, even though I did want to. And it’s hard to push through that (for me)

[@VermisTerrae]

Yes, absolutely! Thankfully I didn't have teachers demand eye contact of me, but physical contact did happen from time to time, which always made me uncomfortable, even if it was meant to comfort me when I was upset. I was afraid of getting in trouble if I spoke up because my needs were frequently ignored, so I just sat in discomfort :( What I needed more than anything else was a smaller class size, a quiet environment, brief 1 on 1 check-ins, something for me to fidget with, and patience if I didn't understand something the first couple times it was explained to me. I remember one year a teacher I had gave us all lemon drops or peppermint candies when we had a test to take. It helped me focus on the assignment so much better!

[@CeliacExtreme]

My autistic child is the same. Eye contact and physical contact are extremely unpleasant for my kid. Even being physically close has actually become threatening because so many adults insisted on eye contact and ignored my kid’s request to not touch them. So while maybe gender, race, etc… doesn’t alter whether all the above suggestions work, other factors like autism, mental health, and such DO make some of the suggestion unworkable.

[@nyeshajetaun4296]

Whew this was good! That part about kids being to feel your “lack of confidence” cannot be more true!!!! You’re amazing Spencer!

[@toddlerscanread]

Thank you so much, Nyesha! I always appreciate the support!

[@peopon01]

i have an 18 month old and just happened to scroll upon this video. i needed it more than i knew!

[@fleckarthur9856]

I'm a new teacher and I have trouble with my classroom, after seeing this I have got the all the confidence I need!

[@abisam6570]

Wait like I can't even believe that a video like this exist!!! Sir, this is the most informative 13 minutes I think I have ever had when it comes to helping children. What you mention at first, about kids bouncing off the walls, is exactly how I was feeling about my kids and a bit more, I'm really looking forward to trying the methods you mentioned with a positive attitude. MUCH APPRICIATION.

[@matthewpink123]

The question, statement and direction advice really resonated with me. Thank you for helping me to be a better parent. More importantly thank you for helping my child

[@lostbutfound8512]

This is a lifesaving game changer. Saves time and relationships with our children. Many blessings!

[@WillayG]

Those questions that don't matter are really powerful. I use them with my 3 year old all the time. I teach elementary, too. It always works well if you have two learning activities ready with equal learning value and let the kids decide which one they want. They feel empowered and like they're in control. Great video.

[@gavinsnana]

I’m a virtual literacy tutor of struggling second through sixth grade students. I strongly agree with and believe in everything you said. Especially about the adults energy and giving choices in areas that don’t matter. Excellent advice,instruction, and modeling! Every parent needs to know this! I’m so pleased to have stumbled upon your channel, you ROCK!

[@NikkiJayArtistry]

I'm a behavioral therapist and this is spot on with how we get children with behavioral and or learning challenges to comply with their work.. But the principles and techniques work on literally anyone even adults.

[@katielove9932]

I agree!