The SHOCK of SUDDEN DEATH and GRIEF | OVERCOMING GRIEF | GRIEF AND LOSS

[@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty]

If your loved one died suddenly and didn’t know the cause of death, did you choose to have an autopsy done? Why or why not?

[@DanFeinman-xd2uf]

For me, the feeling is that "I can't understand it". Healthy and fine, and a sudden heart attack and he is gone 15 hours later. I am coming to realize that I will never" understand " it. It doesn't make sense, yet I know we all have our time to leave the physical world, and we don't get to choose when that will be. The hardest part is not being able to say everything I wanted to say to my partner before he died. But I continue to talk to him now and I want to believe he hears me. The shock morps into grief. Thank you Catherine for all you do to support our community. You are a blessing.

[@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty]

This is a beautiful share. Keep talking to him…he is with you! You can do this!

[@rustyshackleford1303]

My wife. Only 47 years old. Sudden heart attack. I was away on a work trip, but had been texting with her an hour before it happened. Everything was fine. A couple hours later, had to hear it over the phone from my teenage daughter at the hospital that they had pronounced her dead. We were married 21 years, two kids together. No chance to say goodbye. It’s been two years now, and it’s been two years of hell. It has broken me. She was my everything. I don’t know how to keep going without her, except that I know my kids need me. I never knew suffering like this existed. Just can’t stop crying. Why did this have to happen? My family is shattered. I am crushed and I’ll never be the same. Why does the world keep going, like nothing has changed?

[@philaman1972]

My condolences. The wages of love is grief.

[@pudik2008]

My heart breaks for you! I know what you mean by ‘why does the world still keeps going’. The day my son died unexpectedly my world stopped,the clock stopped in my heart,I didn’t look at the clock or calendar I don’t know for how long,it just didn’t matter after the loss. Ppl would talk about the things that were happening and taking place,I felt like screaming, DONT YOU KNOW THAT MY SON IS DEAD!,! I can’t imagine how hard it is for you to grieve yourself and still be there for your children who are also grieving! You are still in the early days lots of confusion,shock,anger,guilt and so many more overwhelming emotions. That saying that goes ‘one day at a time’ doesn’t apply when someone you love dies,for me a day was to long and painful to endure,I tried to make it through one second at a time,then one minute,than one hour. Do what you have to do for you and your family. Lots of warm hugs and prayers. 💔💔💔

[@npenick66]

I understand. My wife of 20 years had a mild cold over the last holiday season. She wanted to take a nap, I tucked her in and went back in a couple of hours to check on her and she was gone, she was 52. In two weeks will be our 21st anniversary. We have two sons, the oldest is out of the house but the youngest is 15 years old and semi verbal autistic. I'm pretty sure that if I didn't need to be here for him I'd have already joined her, my doctor was stressing a bit about broken heart syndrome and all that so I had to change some habits. I had to maintain a 'normal' surface so that my youngest could have stability and deal with his grief (autistic kids generally aren't good with emotional upheaval and change) but on the inside I was seriously fubar. Eight months later I think that I've moved into snafu with the semi weekly really bad day. My wife was the fun one, every occasion was over decorated (seriously, the woman had 7 Christmas trees in the house at one point), every person was over fed and went home with doggie bags, there was always music, pranks, jokes and laughter. I always teased her about being a dang cheerleader. I do my best while the kid is awake and isn't in school but otherwise the house is empty and echo's. It's just a house now, not a home. I'm trying my best, the kid is doing well and happy. She'd be happy about that but otherwise life is pretty empty right now. I hear that eventually that will improve. Stay strong brother.

[@susanhall3355]

My husband went for a game of golf very recently and had a cardiac arrest on the golf course. He died the next day. He was 65. Never came home. We were married 45 yrs this month.

[@susanhall3355]

It's the shock!!!

[@berniceyahyahkeekoot7382]

My son never did I ever believe he would be gone. The best most loving gentle soul gone far too soon no goodbyes. I had been searching for him I knew he needed me.

[@pudik2008]

@@berniceyahyahkeekoot7382 my heart breaks for you as I lost my beautiful son as well. It’s so painful it’s hard just to survive day by day. Sending you warm hugs. 💔💔💔

[@jeremyashton5040]

Lost my mother suddently 2 years ago. And I am the one who found her. I am still in the process of healing and recovering from this trauma, shock, grief and loss. 😥

[@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty]

Finding your mom must have been a shock. It’s trauma that needs healing in addition to your grief. Keep learning to help you heal.

[@gypsywilkins5124]

July 12th this year my wife went into our camper to just be lazy and nap. After a little over an hour I tried to wake her and she had died. She was 57 and I"m 63. They said she had just stopped breathing . Her birthday is 9/11/66 and I know it will crush me some more. We lost a daughter that was ten days old in 1996 and it was very hard too. I retired 8 years ago and we spent so much time together. I feel like I have lost everything and will never get over her. We all die yet it seems like nobody including me ever thinks about this. I was in the army and saw lots of things from combat deployments yet this has broke me. Sept 28th would have been 38 years married. I'm not one to give up but man this just is so hard. I want to get better so bad and I still can't talk about her without crying. I'm a big strong man at 6ft 5 but I feel like this won't end. Sorry to go on like this but this has got to be the hardest thing I have to is let her go. Darryl

[@misstbikini]

It sucks darryl, im so sorry for your loss 😢

[@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty]

email me and we can talk! This will be hard and the fastest way to heal is to cry it out and feel it all. The more you avoid, the longer it will take, no matter how big and strong you are! You have survived the loss of a child and you can survive this…give yourself some time, its still new!

[@philaman1972]

My condolences.

[@gypsywilkins5124]

@@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty Thank you and I have 4 adult children two grand sons plus a great grand daughter as of today. I have to keep breathing for my family and let the power of prayers work to reshape me. 👃👃👃

[@vivhartley6003]

Feel sosorry for you can under stand has l am going threw it too please take care ❤❤

[@mauimediumastrology2156]

Both my dad and my son died quickly without any warning, one was an angina attack, the other an accident.....I talk to them daily....it's so hard...very little support from family

[@pudik2008]

So very sorry! Ppl that haven’t experienced a loss don’t understand,my family used to try and ‘cheer me up’ nothing can take your mind of your loss. Your heart totally gets shattered,nothing else matter’s. You just want your loved one back that all. I’m so sorry for you, warm hugs from another grieving mother. 💔💔💔🫂🫂🫂

[@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty]

I’m sure that is hard and hurtful that you dont have your family’s support!

[@jaybird6984]

In February 2024, we had the most unexpected news I had lost my brother of an unexpected overdose. the police came to my mom's house and told her the news which broke her in the same day. I received a phone call saying My Brother had passed away was really hard for her family that he was only 31 years old. the moment that we found out that he passed away really made us realize that no matter how many times we continue to be the person we are can happen to you as well. With these inspired videos it helps me hurt. We know that there are people out there that are experiencing hard times as well and we can talk about it and can help us understand. even though we can't understand everything it still helps us realize that there are people in this world that come and go but the unexpected is what hurts the most. I miss my brother every day even though he's not here I still try to be strong. I am 28 years old four years younger than my older brother and I still want to learn why he had to go so soon. It definitely isn't easy, tomorrow marks seven months since his passing and I'm still trying to figure out why. thank you Catherine for these wonderful videos as it helps me to keep pushing forward. Your friend Jordan.

[@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty]

You are doing great. Keep learning about your grief and your self. You’ve got this

[@jbellbird9050]

Lost my husband suddenly ten months ago. It's been a rocky journey since, made especially difficult by people/friends/family 'disappearing' or not being available. Some friends have been indifferent and downright harsh. I'm really shocked that people react that way but am slowly accepting that I have to 'paddle my own canoe' . Have read a few stories online where people have had similar experiences. Thanks for your video which pinpoints exactly how it is to lose a loved one suddenly.

[@npenick66]

Unexpectedly lost my wife of 20 years on 1/5/24. I hear you on all the rats abandoning the ship. Other than my 90 year old father, a retired Army Colonel, obsessively calling me every day for his own reasons (until I want to beat my head against the wall) I don't really hear from anyone. I understand the 'couples' friends bailing since I'm not a couple any longer but the relatives surprised me. I'm not weeping on their shoulders or grief dumping on them but they've all pretty much disappeared after the first few weeks. It is what it is I guess. Not sure if they just can't handle the situation or if they were around mainly for my wife (which I understand).

[@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty]

Losing a spouse forces you to learn how to go it on your own for so many things, before you even begin speaking about grief. My facebook group can help you feel less alone. There are so many people there who get it.

[@audreya9859]

I've kept my circle very small because people I thought were family/friends have disappeared because my grief is too hard to listen to they only want the good days or the old me. I'm no longer shocked by their bad behavior I just stay away and find support through grief support groups and I rescued a dog that has helped me get out of bed.

[@pudik2008]

@@jbellbird9050 I’m so sorry for your loss. Yes sadly it’s true. The thing that makes me sad is we experienced a devastating loss already and then you lose those around you that you thought would be there for you. I wish I could give you a big hug! 💔💔💔

[@rustyshackleford1303]

"No farewell words were spoken, no time to say good-bye. You were gone before I knew it and only God knows why. My heart still aches in sadness and secret tears still flow, What it meant to lose you, no one will ever know.” -Tombstone inscription

[@kalliopialexiadou8999]

Thank you very much, Catherine 🙏❤️

[@npenick66]

I know that I've posted my story of losing my wife of 20 years on your channel a couple of times so I won't put you through it again. One of the things, in addition to the shock/grief, that messed with me for the first few months (and the occasional nightmare) was finding my wife's body. I have a pretty cinematic memory, I tend to remember most things in detail. I have a love/hate thing with this widow brain, drives me nuts not remembering things but I know it's helped insulate me in some ways. I had never seen a dead human before. Seeing the empty body of your spouse is not something that I'd wish on anyone, at least her eyes were closed. Trying to perform cpr on someone who is clearly gone is a memory that I'd love to erase. The visuals, the sound of cpr, the texture of her clothes and the rug when I moved her to the floor for cpr, the voice of the lady on 911, all things I'd love to forget. The loss and grief have been horrible, the memories of that night have been worse. All that being said, I think that I've gone from complete fubar to snafu. I know that I have a long way to go but there is a tenuous sense of balance now. Life still ain't great at the moment but it isn't crippling either. Still hard to laugh or find joy but I can breathe most of the time now. Sleep is still a bit elusive at times but most of the nightmares have passed. It will be 8 months next week so I should be grateful for the progress so far. Our 21st anniversary is in a couple of weeks on Friday the 13th (always a lucky day for us) and the holiday season isn't long after that so a few more hurdles this year. But overall I can't complain. I read an article last week where they were interviewing a musician about loosing two of his sons in different incidents and how he dealt with the loss. He said that every life is an accumulation of loss as people age, first the grand parents, then the parents, etc and that loss was part of the human condition. Still trying to get my brain around that but I think he's onto something. As bad as the last 8 months have been I think that I should be grateful for those that are still around me and that, other than my wife, my previous losses have been age appropriate.

[@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty]

Thank you so much for sharing here. Please tell us your story many times, as this will help in your healing. Finding your wife and performing cpr is traumatic and separate from the resulting grief you feel. If the nightmares have stopped, this is good. You are likely processing it. Finding a therapist who can help you with the “trauma” side of things could prove useful. I’m so glad that you can still work at finding gratitude for what and who you still have. Your homework - share with us more about who your wife was, how she added to your life, and what you have learned from knowing her and now grieving her.

[@etcancer713]

On. 8-17-24, I got a phone call at 4am that my brother was “gone”. Two weeks later I’m still stuck on the 4am phone call…and the words , “your brother is gone”

[@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty]

Wow. That must be hard for you. You are still in shock. Do you know what happened? Sometimes these answers can help us process. Are you experiencing emotions other than shock?

[@gailnelson5932]

Yes my dad. Got hit and killed by a car. I never got to say goodbye.

[@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty]

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@BonnieKetterman-qw8vd]

Hello Catherine 10/1 will make 2 yrs my loving mom passed away I still miss her more every day I was a mommy's girl I have never gotten over her death I still cry alot I'm still grieving her loss how long does it take to finally getting back to normal it don't get any easier it just gets harder holidays are really rough birthdays 😅family events are always hard nothing is the same anymore

[@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty]

Hi! It takes far longer than we want it to. Finding ways to “get your grief out” helps healing. What have you been doing to help in the healing? What could you do to honor her on 10/1?

[@BonnieKetterman-qw8vd]

@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty listening to her favorite hymns telling her what a good mother she was how much she s loved

[@kimonkanelakis]

Thanks!

[@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty]

You bet!

[@user-lt5bl7lj3l]

Yes, my Mom 😢

[@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty]

Tell us about her. What do you miss most?

[@Eva-eh7qu]

Yes,my husband.

[@ritayutubeful2]

Yes, my husband, too.

[@pblinham5741]

My husband

[@debracurboy5844]

My only son mark 😅

[@debracurboy5844]

10 months gone and I go through same thing each Morning my heart is broken 💔 and not healing 💔 😢

[@BerniceRousselle]

My daughter only 39😢

[@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty]

Have you experienced sudden loss and the shock?

[@Eam1213]

Yes, my son and oldest child. It has been 13 months. He was killed in a tragic, horrible, auto accident. I am still coming to terms with it. Our family was and is devastated. I am still having problems with brain fog, organization, making decisions, and the list goes on. I’m glad people can’t see inside of me because it would be messy. My heart and prayers go out to those that have lost those they love so very much♥️

[@MsLadyP4]

My youngest son was killed in hit and run motorcycle accident @2:30 am 9/24/2017. He lived four hours from me so I was told @ 7am and have never hurt so bad ( didn’t think this pain actually existed) I’m not me anymore, I never had the chance to hug him, be with him when he took his last breath 😢My mental health is a day by day journey through grief. I have isolated myself except for my 3 remaining children and grandchildren. On meds for coping and sleeping. I’m leaning on God for strength and perseverance through this journey called life. Andre f28🙏🏽😍💔

[@philaman1972]

Death is the wage for living.

[@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty]

Makes sense