The Small Fat Complex in Body Positivity?

[@Loud2013]

Someone calling me skinny at 5'7" and 230 pounds scares the heck out of me.. we've lost the plot because of FA rhetoric. It was like being in the Twilight Zone. I agree with your read, Alex! I remember telling someone those things 😞

[@existentialgamer9206]

Wow, SKINNY, that’s crazy! I was 5’8” and 235 and people told me I “wasn’t even fat” so I get it. America is so effed when it comes to fatness

[@lydiaking6341]

Hey alex, i really want to say i can't thank you enough for your videos. Choosing foods to support thyroid health rather than focusing on calories has been an absolute game changer, even through the holidays the weight is steadily coming off.

[@GraphicallyAlex]

@@lydiaking6341 I’m so glad ❤️❤️

[@Cat_Woods]

I had thought "small fat" meant somewhere between the top of a healthy weight range and obese, maybe a little into the obese range. But this sounds like the FAs consider obese people to still be "the thins" and only morbidly and super morbidly obese people count as fat? It's deranged. Let's define a health risk and associated disorders out of existence; that'll make us healthy.

[@existentialgamer9206]

15:46 omg yes sooo much. When you are the chubby small fat it’s very weird because there’s this social PRESSURE! You helped me coalesce my thoughts because as someone who is actually legit “skinny” now (and not just told BS by well meaning people, but legit ), I have noticed how much easier it is to just be introverted and prickly as a thin woman. As a small fat there’s this pressure to be sweet and nice, or bubbly, or be the funny one. Or the fat friend is often expected to be “group mom” wtf is that?! Like you need to have EXTRA personality. People don’t like you if you’re chubby but cynical and not bubbly and not interested in wiping everyone else’s arse, which I experienced first hand. But now?? Totally different. I sit here with my wiry body and cryptkeeper hands 😂 and it’s totally fine if I’m not hilarious or fckin sweet and positive all the time. It’s WEIRD man. I no longer get those stares like I’m off-putting for being introverted. It’s something I never would have noticed if I’d not gotten here and it is so bizarre to explain and people who haven’t experienced it won’t get it so thanks for helping me put it into words Now, I’m not HOT skinny. Just a lanky Crone haha. There are different expectations for (especially women) who are hot skinny but I can’t speak to that. But it’s certainly a THING

[@once.upon.a.time.]

Your comment was dripping with linguistic charm and insight, a real treat to read. Thanks for sharing your experience!

[@existentialgamer9206]

@@once.upon.a.time. thanks! That’s so kind ☺️

[@AsMr-km6ex]

You look TINY! You are kiIIing it 😭🥹💜🥰

[@aria2aria2]

I’m “average” (BMI 20) so I probably don’t relate to “small” fat people, but i resonate a lot as someone who used to be chubby and became skinnier from an ED. I still have really awful body dysmorphia. I always feel like I’m never big enough to “feel” fat or small enough to actually be skinny. I’ve been in ED recovery communities where there’s a clear hierarchy and unspoken rule that people who are skinny w/ an ED are allowed to flaunt it as long as they act as if it’s from a place of recovery advocacy. There’s a sense of ED recovery influencers infantilizing themselves and constantly triggering their ED publicly, documenting every part of it for validation but complaining about anyone who’s upfront about not being recovered. I feel like it’s equally as toxic as fat acceptance content that invalidates binge eating disorder and discourages any diverse opinion. I also think as an introvert what stuck out most to me was how wanting to be thin was wanting to disappear and not be seen, to take up as little space as possible. Sorry for the long ramble, but your video really made me ponder.

[@Alicia-Rene]

Double commenting, but at 32:45 I think it’s conditional for a lot of people. I’ve been thin most of my adult life and while I hate to say it about myself, am what most people would consider “conventionally attractive” and I’ve found people tend to mistake my quiet/shyness for being aloof or self centered. Especially other women! If I don’t make a conscious effort to smile and change my face, I’m viewed just as negatively as I was when I got heavy for a little while.

[@lauinra]

I think you're right about the body not being at the forefront in midesizes, and I guess it has to do with the lack of a clear message: a very big person is showing their past lifestyle without saying a word, and a very fit person the same...

[@Alicia-Rene]

I feel you at 20:15 so much 😭 I’m such a chronic apologizer and I hate it!

[@Sylvael2002]

My God, is this what people are being reduced to? Meaningless categories and rating systems where no one is something 'enough' oppression Olympics and how visible you are/n't. We all have value and need to stop limiting a person to their body size.

[@freddy1940]

My account of my experience is definitely polluted by my self perceptions, but one thing which I noticed is that when I was larger and introverted, more people seemed interested in "adopting" me (like, inviting me to things and such). However, when I lost weight it seemed like I was the one doing more of the adopting (I was the one inviting people). Im not sure if this is due to being more outgoing, or if people were more eager to hang out with someone thinner, or some mystery third option.

[@michellenash6802]

It’s detrimental not just for individuals but for society as a whole! Until the recent events, 5-10 yrs, being ‘fat’ was not a good thing. It has always been shown to be bad for your health, and known as something that will shorten your life, and it would cause long agonizing disease state before you finally succumbed to those diseases. My mom, boomer, stated she struggled w her weight all of her life. She’s 5’11 so she’s always been a big woman. She’s gone up and down in sizes. She said, the clothing industry has changed dress sizes since she was a kid. The size 12 of today would equate to about a 16 when she was young. When did this happen idk. Since becoming disabled, my weight has ballooned! Currently just under 5’93 and about 200lb, it is uncomfortable! We’ve become a society of gluttony, instant satisfaction. While historically, we’ve had to walk or ride horseback to get somewhere, and we had to no only cook every meal, but also grow or herd/hunt our food. If you didn’t put away enough provisions for winter, you had a lot of days of hunger. Fasting was always a part of life. If we don’t stop the FA mvmt, our society is gonna fail/fall. Right now it’s about even, the no. of fat v fit people. The fatter we get, the slower we become, the less likely it is that we’ll remain the dominant military force, and the easier it’ll be for someone to conquer us. Anyone who is physically able to -barring disability- exercise, should be doing so! Staying fat, regardless of ’fat status’ (skinny fat to ‘I’m so fat I can’t get out of bed and therefore someone must tend to everything including washing me, changing bedding, and whipping my arse after using bedpan after I use it’- type of fat), is hurting not just yourself, but those that love you; the medical facilities you go to, where nurses put themselves at risk of injury while taking care of you - including the person at home doing the same thing, only they don’t have help; and society.

[@mackie490]

Some of the writer's comments about liking her body bigger made me feel like she is secretly interested in the kink surrounding putting on weight, and then just using Fat Acceptance to talk about it. (Although, fat acceptance's roots does overlap with that anyway.)

[@danibruso7549]

Love this take! It's so weird to be looked at as too big or too small... we're just people :)

[@mushroomc0re]

Maybe this is just short girl advantage but as someone who is 5'1 and 168 lbs... i am always so flabbergasted when people talk about being too big to fit in seats. Like even closer to 180 lbs the only thing that changed was that i no longer lifted out of roller-coaster seats when going down a hill

[@Loud2013]

Sorry for commenting so much but I'm home sick! IMO when you're SMO people don't have as many expectations of you, if you're not so pleasant or you're awkward, it gets excused because there's an unspoken level of pity for you. At small fat, you're not given as much leeway for being socially awkward or sloppy with your clothes, like how the older child is always expected to behave better. For example, I saw a SMO with his butt crack showing and I just felt a little embarrassed for him. A normal weight guy I feel annoyed, like, get yourself together please 🙄.. weird 🤔

[@existentialgamer9206]

Exactly, when Alex noticed the small fats getting more bullied, it’s because of this. People just think you’re a dumpy, lazy fcker with no discipline. You don’t get the pity factor. HENCE the social pressure to be an extraordinary, charismatic personality. You’re making up for your dumpiness

[@Seastack11]

You look great!

[@GG-kn2se]

To be fair to the criticism she got, and this is a crumb, it is strange to enter a plus size beauty pageant intended to show off clothes-when she doesn’t wear a plus size in clothing. She probably thought of it as the polite way to say “fat” which she related to, but I kinda get that one specific aspect

[@existentialgamer9206]

Yay shout out thanks! 🎉 YES 100% to your thoughts! I’ve spent the majority of my adult life in small fat, with yo-yos up into obesity (like after I had my son 20 years ago, various other times and most recently before I lost weight for good, that was my biggest). That’s such a great point about how, when you’re regular-degular size 14-16, it’s going to be down to your personality. I can only speak to the female experience; I wonder if the differences for you in this era you describe are because you’re a guy? Idk! For the typical small fat woman, you are still too chunky to be desired outright by most men (and way too small for men who like fat), and you still might be the biggest one in your friend group of women even though you aren’t huge. Typically, you aren’t going to have the health problems of obesity and definitely not SMO so most of the aggravations come from the social side and that awareness that you are juuuuust outside the “norm”. And as a very introverted, analytical nerdy woman with a negative streak myself (Scorpio rising lol), especially as a younger woman, I wasn’t going to win any charisma contests 😅 Then on the other hand because America is so skewed about fat, you’re getting constantly told you’re not fat at all, omg you’re actually soooo skinny, skinny queen 🙄 like the woman in this article. I got told by family and friends I was “thin” but as a small fat you know it’s BS. You can FEEL the DUFFness when you’re out with your friends and shopping is still irritating (I was young in the 00s before this FA boom, we did not have Torrid!). As a fellow tall woman too, she’s 5’9” and I’m 5’8”, we get told “but you carry it so well! You don’t even look heavy” please lol. Small fat may not be huge, oh-shi-I-might-die fat, but it’s still fat

[@SarahAnnSays]

Aubrey Gordon was on some Canadian broadcast news show! I think its new

[@vlnow]

Looking proper English in your proper English hoody today.

[@Loud2013]

Yessss! Alex may be a mess but he's such a cute mess in that Paddington Bear hoodie 🐻🐻🐻😂😂😂

[@Loud2013]

This article is *bizarre* .. this poor woman has some serious issues.. I hope she finally feels like she's enough eventually.. and escapes the FA mindset and movement. It thrives off of creating discontent and feelings of being misunderstood. Yikes on bikes 😂😂😂😂😂