The “Solution” To Picky Eating That Actually Makes It Worse

This is one of the most common things parents often try in order to get their child to eat foods they don't like, particularly vegetables. But what you may not realise is that it often leads to children becoming even more rigid in their food choices. It can make them no longer like the food they previously enjoyed, while also eroding their trust in you and becoming even more cautious when trying new foods.
In this video you'll learn why this approach doesn't help with picky eating, and some tactics you can use to help your picky eater move past this common childhood phase successfully.
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[@EmmaHubbard]

Thanks for watching! How have you encouraged your little one to eat veggies? Don't forget to get your free Mealtimes Essentials Guide with links to all my favorite plates, cups, cutlery and more here: brightestbeginning.com/bb_optin/mealtime-essentials-guide/

[@Dr.Yina9]

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[@emptysoul5057]

I serve myself a food if it's new and don't serve my toddler anything. Of course he gets curious about what I'm eating that he can't have and he starts to beg and whine for some too. And I say ,"Oh I don't know it is a big boy food and I'm not sure if you're big enough yet." By then he's so excited to try this new big boy food and so sure he's ready that he happily sits down to prove that he is indeed ready to eat. He eats everything from my family's traditional Mexican food to foreign things like pad Thai and bean sprout stir fry. He'll even eat fish. If it's really strange I'll have his father eat it in front of him and then he'll eat it because he has to be like daddy so he's not going to be left out and he'll eat it.

[@sassychimpanzee7431]

That is so adorable. My son isnt started on solids yet but I will definitely try that when he's old enough!

[@Qtchicky12345678]

100% agree with everything you said. I'm a nanny and I have a lot of experience with VERY picky eaters. It's usually due to something like autism or ADD/ADHD. Most people try to force feed, wait their child out or in this case hide certain foods. My approach is that I tell them exactly what they're eating and that they always must try the food. They don't have to like it and if they hate it they can spit it out/not eat anymore. But they must always give it a good try. I find that this causes them to be more open minded and the honesty and followthrough with not forcing them to eat more of what they don't like makes them more willing to try things on their own in the future and to give foods another chance. Often times it's also a case of they either don't like the flavor, texture, or look of foods. I always ask them to tell me what it is they don't like about it or what they really like about their favorite foods. An example that comes to mind it this little girl who was about 3 LOVED steamed broccoli but hated baked broccoli. Love pumpkin zucchini bread and zucchini in veggie lasagna but not cooked zucchini by itself. If it's texture I ask them more questions about it and tell them I want to fix that so let's try it a different way another time, keeping the same rules of trying it is all I ask. In the case of neurodivergent children it is especially important to not force kids and to be open and honest. This one kid was a very picky eater from day one. I met him when he was 1 1/2 and noticed he had the most issue with foods that were a texture he didn't like or ones that lacked a lot of flavor. He liked rich flavorful foods with a texture that was more on the dry and aldente side. Once I learned this I always tried my best to cook it how he preferred and we never had much trouble with him eating. And as he's grown (age 7 now) he has become more and more adventurous with a focus on trying to eat more and more healthy while still enjoying what he's eating. If you've got a stubborn and independent thinker like him or me on your hands then hiding and forcing is the worst thing you can do to improve their eating. My thinking is why make it unpleasant if you don't have to? That is if you have the means to.

[@riseredeos]

My parents did the force method or you go hungry…. almost 40 years later I still don’t eat that item. Even after growing up and giving it a go on multiple occasions.

[@1986117]

As a picky eater as a child myself I can only confirm I hated it when my parents hid foods in the food I liked. It made the situation worse. I have adopted a very relaxed no pressure environment with food with my kids and for now my daughter is great at eating fruits,vegetables and she always wants to smell new things and most times also tries the new food. Thank you Emma for your fantastic videos! Could you perhaps make a video on older sibling’s behaviour after birth of a new baby? Like how to deal with hitting?

[@EmmaHubbard]

Thanks so much for sharing and the topic idea!

[@Dr.Yina9]

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[@katiem9923]

Sometimes my toddler is more open to trying a food if i take a piece from his plate, take a bite, and ask if he'd like to try. Ive also found that he's way more open to trying something if it's in /on pasta or pizza. I dont need to hide it, but i think the context of a "safe" food makes him realize the extra (ex. Mushrooms or meat) is food too.

[@EmmaHubbard]

Thanks so much for sharing. You're right having safe food does reduce the stress levels and make it more likely that the little one will explore the new food. Also seeing others eat the food helps them see that the food is safe too!

[@Qtchicky12345678]

Absolutely! I'm a nanny and one of the toddlers I took care of (almost 1 1/2) LOVED to eat food and try new things but only if she saw you were eating it and really loving it. She was also more likely to eat something if you were eating the same right next to her. Showing it's safe and might be really yummy, coming from a person they trust, really helps kids be brave and try new things. Especially when they're little and it's an older sibling or child they adore. And great thinking on the "safe" food strategy. I agree 100%! in my mind it's like pizza=yummy so if it's on a pizza and everyone is saying this new thing is super tasty then it must be lol

[@Brttan]

Honestly, I’m exhausted trying to get my picky eater to eat. I just end up wasting food trying to find out if they’ll eat it. Do they ever grow out of it?

[@EmmaHubbard]

It can be really tiring and frustrating at times. It generally improves with time, but for some kids who are really fussy (so have less than 15 foods they will eat) it's important to get some help from a health professional who specialises in picky eating, as these kids may need more specific strategies.

[@ifierceleonlee6776]

Yh don't give em food until they're really hungry, first world would go out the window, too many choices. Don't give em that , it'll confuse them.

[@nicolereadstarot]

​@@EmmaHubbardmy twins are autistic and very picky. One of them will only eat PBJ, fruits, and pizza .. they are in a sort of food therapy situation at the ABA center.

[@Dr.Yina9]

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[@bettycooper369]

My toddler suddenly got picky around 14 mos BUT she loves mooching bites from my plate. Thats how I introduce new foods to her now, she loves to eat my food then I eventually serve it to her too.

[@Ray-pt5bi]

In picky phases I made banana shakes or pancakes with mixed veggies. Just for the period where no veg made it in there.

[@kaykutie16]

I’m hoping this works with husbands too!

[@Snowshowslow]

Let us know how it goes 🤭

[@alexandriarogers7920]

Wow, I've been serving my 2 year old individual veggies since she got enough teeth to eat them, they have become some of her favorite foods. I didn't even realize that was an effective strategy, I just thought she was a fan of vegetables like me. She'd take them over pasta or a lot of processes foods, to the point I run out of ideas if she has had some of each type of veggie we have on hand at the time. She doesn't even enjoy a lot of dessert and for most desserts only has a couple bites then is done and would rather go play (there are exceptions of course). Thanks for clarifying what strategies I was doing without consciously thinking about them. Definitely going to be aware of this with my second to make sure I get the same result. Thanks for all the excellent videos and valuable information you supply us all with. Much appreciated!

[@EmmaHubbard]

It's my pleasure! Also great that your daughter loves veggies so much!

[@bettycooper369]

Thats why I blend it up in the sauce !!

[@ilariama82]

Thanks Emma! My daughter is 5yo and she became a picky eater about a year ago when we introduced 'treats' after a meal. My husband is extremely focused on making her eat and all discussions with relatives and friends are about how little she eats (sometimes she eats only breakfast during one day) and how well her brother (10mo) eats. Any way I can stop this dynamic? (Other than asking my husband to stop this narrative, which hasn't worked so far).

[@Qtchicky12345678]

That's really tough! I'm a nanny and growing up I had a little brother who was a REALLY picky eater. Turns out he was not only autistic but also had ADHD and was anosmic. Which means he has no sense of smell and therefore taste. It was really concerning especially since he was so little and what he did eat was few and far between. So I completely understand why this can be a real concern to you and your husband. After all, we don't want kids to starve. I'm a strong believer in not forcing kids to eat and instead talking to them about why they do or don't like something. My focus is always on open-mindedness, health and making sure they have a full tummy before leaving the table. My one rule is the kids always have to try the food. They can hate it, not eat anymore and even spit out the bite they've taken but they always have to try each thing first before they say they don't like it. In the case of your daughter you need to find out what the cause of this not eating is. How can you solve a problem when you don't know what the cause is? Sometimes they just aren't hungry. Sometimes they aren't feeling good and in other cases they just want to get to the part they like as quick as possible. One little girl (3) started being picky and it was rubbing off on her little brother (1 1/2). I taught her my rule and told her that she can stop eating when she has a full tummy. And I always ask her: "Is your tummy nice and full?/Do you have a full tummy?" before I say it's ok for her to not eat. And I've found that asking her opinion on what she'd like to eat really helps. Asking her what she does and doesn't like and which foods are her favorites and why. Most people think all this will turn them into a fussy eater but actually she's eaten more and even encouraging her brother to do the same and be more adventurous. She also loves helping cook and if she wants a treat I often give her a small one while she helps cook or after she helps clean up. And I give her a few choices. Like, you can either have one piece of this candy or two cookies. The more control they feel they have the more willing they are to do things. You have to find out what motivates her. For this particular little girl she likes hearing stories about me growing up or people in my life. I told her I totally understand her not liking spinach (she calls it green stuff) cause by itself it usually tastes really yucky. But did she want to know a secret? It's super yummy when you cook it or eat it with other things and can't really taste it. She liked a broccoli and cheese quiche so I told her I'd make one with spinach at my house and that I'll bring it for her to try. If she likes it I'll make her one to have for breakfast/snack and if not we can try putting the spinach in something like a soup and cutting it really really small so she won't even taste it. She LOVED the quiche. So we tried it in a soup and she loved that too. I even put it in a veggie lasagna and shredded it real small and sauted it before blending it and mixing it with the sauce. I told her I put the spinach in there and needed her to try it to see if it was yummy or not. (I told her she is my taster and needs to test the food I make and help me figure how to make it more yummy if it's not). She said: it tastes like pizza!" LMAO! It's now one of her favorite meals and I make it for her whenever I think her mom needs an easy to eat dinner the kids will love. She normally doesn't eat much but man does she wolf down that quiche and lasagna. Tell your daughter you need her help and ask her how you can make the food more yummy so her tummy will be nice and full and she'll have enough energy to play and have fun. Only tell her she has to try it if she is putting up a fight. But first try to make it fun and not like a big deal to try something new/she says she doesn't like. Sorry this is so long but hope it helps :) Good luck!

[@ilariama82]

@@Qtchicky12345678 thank you so much for your thoughtful reply, I truly appreciate it! I think some of the behaviour was picked up at preschool, some of it is due to the new arrival (with a new baby this is a safe way to get attention) and some of it was exacerbated by the long negotiations (I understand why she now doesn't look forward to meal times, she also seems to think meals are an interruption to her day). She is now in school (first year) and is of course very perceptive, so I'll have to find the right way to position any approach to food (while she is 5yo it feels like she is already a teenager at times).

[@LissaDIY]

I do try to make my 2 year old taste it, but I never force it. Sometimes I might put my foot down, and I stopped stressing so much. They have phases of being adventurous and phases of being picky.

[@PennyAfNorberg]

This evening our 15 month daughter will get a steak salad ( meat + veggis + apple), she loves them, we do too.

[@EmmaHubbard]

Fantastic! Enjoy!

[@Aprilnicholls]

Hi there, are you able to talk about portions for little ones? If you havent already. My 2 year old always asks for more and we give it to him. Should we continue?

[@EmmaHubbard]

Generally, the answer is yes, as children do have the ability to regulate their appetite. But if you are worried that you're little one is eating too much, then you could check in with your doctor to see how their weight and height are tracking on the growth chart and if you need to be concerned.

[@susrs2497]

My 2 year old still doesn't speak but she understands everything very well, so for food we have one rule, she needs to at least try the food, if she tries it and doesn't like it, she can choose not to eat it, if she says no I won't insist during that meal, sometimes after a while she gives it another try and likes it, if she doesn't I will try to cook it differently next time to see if she likes it that way. It helps to lot when I try it first and she sees I like it, I'm a picky eater myself some foods I just eat them when they are done in a certain way, so I try to respect her "no" but just after she tries it. Hope this helps someone.

[@Qtchicky12345678]

Omg! I'm a nanny and I do the exact same thing with any kid I take care of. And same about being a picky eater. It's why I made my one rule that they have to try it if it's new. And I'm always upfront if it's something they don't like and that I put it in there and say that I tried to make it yummy for them but I need their help and can they try it for me? And if it's not yummy we work out how to do it differently next time or what we can add/not add to make it taste better this go around. As far as the talking, wonderful that she understands everything so well! I find that acting like I'm having a conversation with them even if all they're doing is making noises really helps them feel like I'm interested in what they have to say and love it when they communicate with me. "Toddler: noises Me: Oh really? Then what happened? 😯🤔: noises/hand gestures Me: Oh my goodness! 😱What else?" The more you over act and seem to find them fascinating the more their little eye light up and the more they try to make noises at you. And if you have no clue what they're saying once they DO start talking a good trick is to ask them to show you. Talking about yourself in third person also helps with clarity and them understanding who the heck you're talking about. "Toddler: faldkfjhalkdjhfalkjd Me: I'm sorry sweetheart, I don't understand. Can you show Andi? Can you show Andi what you're trying to say?" Also playing twenty questions with them. Like, are you talking about a person? Are you talking about a toy?

[@susrs2497]

@@Qtchicky12345678 thank you for the advise. My husband is awesome making those lind of conversations when she makes noises, I'm awful at it but I'm practicing to get better, I love the 20 questions and will definitely use it. You sound like an awesome nanny, hope you were in my country so I could hire you 😅.

[@markusmeyer6391]

When I was that small, I simply were too hungry to be picky. We weren't given options. I was personally too hungry to be picky

[@thebreakdownartist9260]

Interesting I gave baby everything I could think of before 7 months in mix combos he eats anything (but is on a vegetarian diet for now)

[@P_Petkov]

Poor kid.

[@RealDream112]

​@@P_PetkovPoor you

[@theacase8738]

Honestly.

[@simonejohn7500]

Am stress my baby is 10 months and he doesn’t want to eat he used to eat then stop after he eats something he doesn’t want it again

[@lizbarnes6340]

my baby also took a while. he just wasn't interested, and even after he turned 1 year, did NOT like being messy. keep offering, it'll be ok!

[@simonejohn7500]

@@lizbarnes6340 so what will I do after formula plz help am worried that after he turns one he refused to eat

[@lizbarnes6340]

@@simonejohn7500 For me, I just started putting the baby in the high chair with us at meals. I would exaggerate how much I enjoyed the food to get him interested. Let him taste. Put a little on the tray to play with. (again, he HATED until around 13-14 months, because it was "messy") But I just kept doing it. Also offered fruity purees, which he warmed up to. Then it was a few weeks where he only wanted his bottle and fruit puree. Just keep showing how much YOU are enjoying and offer some to explore! The Solid Starts free app and website were really useful. It seems like forever at the moment, but when you look back you realize how short a month really is and how much can change. Take a deep breath! Talk to your doctor and nurses at your checkups. When I feel my anxiety building, I snap myself out by trying to imagine my son as a 30 year old man exhibiting the same behaviors, laugh, and realize that I just need to take a deep breath and keep at it. Some babies just take a little longer. My friends babies all ate solids, stopped using bottles/pacifiers, walked, and are talking WAY earlier than mine, and that's OK! He's 16 months, and he just started walking, he's using his pacifier less, and is down to 2 bottles of 1/2 formula 1/2milk. He's progressing at his own pace! By the time they're school age, nobody will know which one took a few extra months to reach their milestones. Relax and enjoy your baby, because they'll be grown before you're ready.

[@EmmaHubbard]

It can be stressful when our little ones choose not to eat solid food. A strategy that might help is swapping the order that you give formula/breastmilk and solid food. I am not sure if you have already done this, but after 9 months of age it is recommended that you offer solids before you give formula or breastmilk. The idea is you want your baby to be hungry and therefore motivated to try solids, which is more likely to be the case if you give them solids before formula or breastmilk. So the pattern would be baby wakes up from sleep, you offer solids, then they play, then after playing you offer formula or breastmilk, then some more play and then sleep. I hope this helps.

[@simonejohn7500]

@@EmmaHubbard hi yes I try this but he refused the solids even after he woke up am thinking about cutting down on the amount of formula I give him thanks so much for your response I’ll keep u posted

[@new-ancient]

Bolognese always has carrots… you can’t taste them

[@kristenmontag5266]

My daughter likes many veggies and most fruits but rejects most meats and traditional kid foods like Mac & cheese or fish sticks. I have a hard time finding proteins she’ll accept.

[@latmcb9863]

How about quinoa? It's a complete protein and might be easier for her to accept. I don't eat a lot of meat myself, but do enjoy quinoa with veggies. Hope this suggestion is helpful.

[@Jefficusmagnus]

Does she like pasta? Try switching it up sometimes by using pasta made from red lentil or chickpea protein. They are around 25% protein. Also using ancient grains like spelt tend to be higher in protein than normal durum wheat pasta.

[@Qtchicky12345678]

Hi :) I'm a nanny and have delt with all kinds of eaters/ways of eating. That's wonderful that she eats so many healthy things! As a person who doesn't much like things like Kraft Mac and cheese (too heavy) I like to make it with unsweetened oatmilk and no butter. And I usually only eat Annie's brand. Since she eats so healthy she might just like lighter foods that are less rich tasting. I also didn't really like fish sticks by themselves. I liked them with mashed potatoes. I'd suggest you cook the Mac and Cheese with a veggie she likes mixed in. Like broccoli and see if she likes that. If not maybe try a different flavor or brand of it or even cook it like I do where I put too much milk, mix the cheese powder with it real good and then just cook it down till it becomes a bit thick, put the noodles in there and then cook it down again tills it's kinda creamy. I also like adding cut up hot dogs sometimes. If mac and cheese is a no-go then I suggest things like cottage cheese, greek yogurt, lentils, quinoa, oatmeal, egg, peanut butter. I make yogurt parfaits that the kids LOVE! I use plain greek yogurt (I like fage cause it's really thick and I don't like thin yogurts), whatever fruits are their favorite/in season, granola, a sprinkling of flaxseed meal, extra dark chocolate chips, and a drizzle of honey on top. You could also see if she likes any deli meats. I myself am not a huge fan other than salami. Or likes the meats in something like a stir fry where she still has her favorite veggies but it's not just MEAT. You could also see if she likes things like baked/smoked salmon. She might also like a veggie lasagna and like the ricotta (I also do a bit of parmesan, and egg, and some dried basil and mix it with the ricotta) in that or substitute ricotta for cottage cheese. Hope this helps!

[@Shalyse1]

Some suggestions: Beans, tofu, whole grains, dips for the veggies like hummus or tahini, nut butters.

[@LunaWingz]

Meanwhile my son eats only bread crusts, apple skins and raw lettuce stems and absolutely no meat, fish anything unless its a sausage..

[@esphyonage]

My son too, I am exhausted to try every tips here and three for his fussy eating. Turned out it is because of his SPD.