The Toronto Poop Attacker

We live in a society.
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[@Savantics]

Join the Discord Server or be Stinky: Invite temporarily disabled

[@badjokeartist4223]

Why do I still live here?

[@ewanoconnor6897]

It’s nearly 3am and I can’t be arsed actually doing the calculations so I’m going to look up shit on google. There are a few things to think about with the weaponised shit. So dropping it from any height isn’t going to do too much to the human body as it’ll reach a terminal velocity at a point and so adding more height won’t do much. There are however other variables to think of. A figure I looked up took a perfectly spherical chunk with a fair enough density and gave a terminal velocity of around 26 ms^-1. Now an actual shit would have broken up due to air resistance and will have the same effect as rain. Now though if it were very dense and stayed together completely then it’d maybe get to around 30ms^-1 but nothing too spectacular. For reference the average mlb baseball will be travelling around 50ms-1 after its hit. But that’s from dropping which has no initial velocity factor to wonder about. Most ways of propelling it would break it up. The best way I could think of would be more along the lines of freezing it and then dropping it. That’d likely kill someone but that’s kinda cheating cause it’s smacking someone in the head with ice. I guess if you dried a bunch of it and then packed it down into very dense “bullets” then you could put them into something like a musket (I think with a more modern weapon it would just get everywhere) but that’s all I could think of

[@Benjamin-qd4ly]

I’m the one on vent all the fucking time

[@fa2lemuelm2]

Guess I'll be stinky (I just prefer my discord not to be too cluttered)

[@rokibeeskiroodroki9018]

FYI liquid feces as described in the articles wouldn’t be lethal at any height reached by man-made structures. The fastest it would go is as fast as rain

[@taccos3524]

America: *Has Shootings* Canada: *Has faeces flickers*

[@WyseWalker]

Would take the feces flickers

[@UnprofessionalProfessor]

**San Francisco has entered the chat**

[@HK_541]

America: _has florida_

[@iciajay6891]

There was a guy in Ohio who revenge pooped on cars.

[@newrenobouncer1088]

I used to live in Toronto and the outskirts were pretty American, a lot of gangs shooting eachother.

[@nootdreamnoot1684]

As a Canadian I can confirm that we are in dire need of assistance. It's been eleven days locked inside. We've been rationing resources, and yet were still running low on supplies. My neighbors have all been forced to venture out for supplies. They have been gone for 2 days. We can only assume that they are dead, killed by projectile shit. Please send in your troops. I dont want to fall to the same fate... oh God please.

[@Savantics]

One family I know has had to resort to cannibalism due to lack of food inside 😔

[@iciajay6891]

We need protection from Revenge Pooping.

[@tacobell7679]

This is horrible! I do so hope that this man doesn't recruit in the US or it's all over for us as well!

[@markuslemerise5812]

@@Savantics my school got hit by a poo nuke.

[@jqjig820]

@@Savantics well should I start WW3 or not? I need to prep those gulags tho, so shit can't fly anymore

[@virgilbarrios3174]

That's a pretty *Puts* *On* *Sunglasses* Shitty crime.

[@jqjig820]

But, you can call it a holy shit, right?

[@tomasbrokeit5349]

Holy shit 😔✌️

[@bagoflesh]

🙂 thats a pretty 😎 shitty crime

[@G59forlife.]

"I'm sorry sir, it's time for you to leave."

[@someguy1894]

YOU NEED TO LEAVE!

[@HeckingHampter]

I feel like Toronto is going to be the Florida of Canada someday.

[@kaleidoscopeeyes1184]

Nah. It's far too cold.

[@brookeqs99]

it already is

[@fusionsauze713]

Mikan Pie we already are a year or 2 ago a guy swam naked with the sharks at an aquarium it was amazing

[@ogolow570]

Ontario in general is the next Florida

[@jqjig820]

The fuc they doin ova der

[@Privateharvest]

poop is dangerous because people’s gut bacteria are so different from person to person leading to powerful infections some could actually be life threatening

[@thevoicesaysimalmostoutofm5710]

Well that and pink eye

[@Privateharvest]

The voice says I'm almost out of minutes pink eye isn’t deadly

[@thevoicesaysimalmostoutofm5710]

@@Privateharvest I know. Just wanted to add that to the list

[@Privateharvest]

The voice says I'm almost out of minutes oh lmao ok

[@kirakiradiary]

oh no 😔

[@Slasher865]

He just pulled what is called a “pro gamer” move.

[@flying-magpie]

More like a "dick move."

[@ck7993]

@@flying-magpie no he didn't piss on them

[@ck7993]

@@flying-magpie more like an a**hole move

[@valtersplume3726]

More like a "poop gamer" move.

[@MoltenMonsters]

Toronto, cmon I had high expectations for you, I mean I would expect this behavior from Florida, but not you...

[@stevisasupercoolguy]

Shut up American

[@sejcai]

the title has me intrigued, but at the same time utterly terrified. which is exactly *MY* kind of content!

[@Timmering]

Fat Man Have you played on Minecraft Central a few years back?

[@sejcai]

Timmering no

[@Timmering]

Fat Man Oh oki.

[@kacey_byten]

KZbin: *The Toronto Poop Attacker* Me: wtf

[@vosskambassador7733]

Me: What are humans doing there on earth?

[@slightlyilliteratecharizar4143]

Nice profile pic

[@nickmce4518]

depends on the consistency of the poop of its solid its easy brushed off and only had a chance of bouncing off the clothes. If its more... liquid then by god its a bioweapon

[@ddoober]

why are we talking about this hh

[@intensellylit4100]

@@ddoober no u

[@georgiamarie7246]

i’m in toronto and i’m honestly scared to go outside at this point

[@mcplumpkin6191]

good luck. I worry about school shootings, you worry about poop.

[@palpatine3248]

Shardflower oof someone’s paranoid

[@lovebotomy6913]

Georgia D I live near Toronto and IM. SCARED. He could’ve inspired some small town psychos near me

[@kirakiradiary]

Late but just use an umbrella

[@zero9623]

Palpatine I’m assuming that you live in Canada because I’m not sure you get how fucked America actually is. Like it sounds crazy being paranoid about a school shooting, but here in America it is a legitimate fear. No one feels safe anywhere anymore.

[@zuki8621]

I just read "_*poop attacker*_" and i had to click

[@neuravanny]

Same

[@zaria7747]

Me: reads title Me: oh I'm in for a treat for today.

[@scyllastar7202]

"It's not funny" *Me bursting out in laughter*

[@amaanmalik3180]

I love having some random person throwing shit in the uni I go to

[@fionafay3540]

*questioning my life and giving up on humanity*

[@gyroownstheworld]

Joker 2: Poop Man.

[@cameroncaws5959]

It's been a rough few weeks Murray, ever since I pooped on those three guys on the subway

[@gyroownstheworld]

@@cameroncaws5959 Oh god.

[@Jensenrobinb]

We live in a shit!

[@taccos3524]

I seen it on the news and haven’t left my house sense. I’m so scared. What if the feces flicker strikes me?!? I might cry and break down. Someone please send help 😭

[@cheese0069]

I bought a pack of batteries, but the batteries weren't included

[@jarlboof]

You still got the pack tho

[@theanarchistocelot1620]

excuse me what the fuck .

[@theguythatasked6400]

You’ve heard of yankee with no brim, now get ready for battery pack with no batteries

[@myst1que_mach1ne]

@@theguythatasked6400 Oh god-

[@johnoconnell5004]

Poop attacker? You had my curiousity, but now you have my attention.

[@n1kirby]

we live in a society...

[@kvis3063]

yes i'm sure at least 56% of the internet population knows that as this exact statement has been repeated several times and i'm also sure you know that too. so why would you say it again?

[@n1kirby]

rage more like rape am i right?

[@CDadd]

I got an email in the middle of class talking about a dude throwing fecal matter around the library. We call him the poo poo man

[@MJ-kc9ic]

One of the other things that happened in Canada was that someone threw a chair over a very tall building and recorded it on Snapchat. I think she was charged and that was what that man was talking about in the article.

[@icedcapplord710]

as a fellow torontonian I can confidently say that as batshit insane as that man is, I aspire to have the look of untamed energy and determination that he has carrying the bag of feces in his hand in the security footage

[@ogolow570]

Was he a Brampton man?

[@thevoicesaysimalmostoutofm5710]

Bat *_shit_*

[@PheonixStarsx]

Warsame Jibriil Yuusuf I live in Hamilton so I’m ok

[@ogolow570]

@@PheonixStarsx You have been blessed, stay safe brother.

[@soephie]

ahh... wait for the ednonton man

[@nietlars5563]

To answer your poop question; at some point the poop can’t accelerate faster so the hight won’t matter too much, poop probably won’t be able to kill someone.

[@tahraethestoryteller6079]

Not right away anyway

[@edwardzero9275]

I’ve already given up on humanity, the only thing I have left is Minecraft

[@kirakiradiary]

RC-2527 Gamma do you think god stays in heaven because he or she is afraid of his or hers creation?

[@edwardzero9275]

•sugarcloud• Lmao. I know people who died surely don’t want to return here

[@guyinbluu]

The joke about everyone staying inside aged pretty well ngl

[@sophie-bt2rd]

" i didn't really expect someone to lose their *shit* "

[@arachnidroid]

Truly a God amongst Men, this guy is

[@G59forlife.]

Master Yoda?

[@myst1que_mach1ne]

I have a gut feeling that the reason he's smiling in the photos is because he's had this impulse all along, and one day he said "fuck it" and decided to act on it.

[@larusmarinus]

In Finland we have a serialpooper, pooping in the same public swimming pool.

[@chrisbrochu3663]

That s h I t made me laugh

[@kennychytracek]

That title has got me like: :0

[@genesisplus4325]

Search: what is the terminal velocity of s*hit?

[@G59forlife.]

WHATS THE 2ND LETTER OF S(?)HIT?!

[@genesisplus4325]

@@G59forlife. you're thinking of the word Sith.

[@tedescothetool8619]

As a person who lives by Toronto in the niagara region I am terrified to walk outside my family has resorted to eating mouldy bread that has sat in the pantry for years

[@YoumuHoover]

Batman may want to look out for the poop man

[@gabrielaceituno7801]

Welp. There goes my faith in evolution. Im going to be the first one to buy a ticket to mars when they come out

[@purplesweaterboi4763]

you can buy tickets to the ISS, I think.

[@floo1465]

Purple Sweater Boi nope, still too early, and they’re too expensive, and they have time limits.

[@gwenerator7288]

In hollywood a guy threw a bucket of hot diarrhea on a pedestrian’s head

[@theapplepon3594]

Been seeing this a lot in the news, nice to see a video on it.

[@AuraAcorn]

5:26 she asks how far must poop be dopped to be considered a weapon... as she jumps from really high. Savannah=poop confirmed wait nvm everyone knew that

[@voidboi1344]

A friend of mine who goes to UofT told me this, and my reaction was just "was he running around campus throwing water balloons of shit at people".

[@Caracatungas]

This is why I live in Mexico. Soon the walls gonna keep me safer

[@highlander2319]

What a shitty situation

[@c.shadou1897]

I go to school at OCAD and it was absolutely hilarious and worrying to hear what was going on

[@kraftsingles6901]

Have you played the City levels in Doom Eternal? Toronto is worse than that!

[@crazyscientistfarmer2091]

As someone from Florida stuff like this happens a lot in the news lol

[@Elena-yz7rb]

Florida men: Oh, some worthy opponents.

[@TRIOPSable]

Can't believe this made it to your channel. I go to York University (the location of the second peepeepoopoo man [what the university goers call him]attack)

[@Happy_Teddy24]

I'm a simple man. I see a new Savantics video, and I click.

[@brainypepper1621]

Reminds me of the best quote I’ve ever seen: "You're a KZbinr?" "yeah, I make poop videos"

[@spinoplays6703]

What is my life? How can I destroy humanity? How can I shut down society?

[@stayalivefan]

Sounds like a fan of Super Junior's "Attack on the Pin-Up Boys"

[@spinbirb646]

Society is not crumbling. It collapsed a long time ago

[@WRVTHxvi]

The man literally looks like ksi

[@VirtuousAezon]

This is so true I’m Canadian.

[@ImpyBimpy]

Me: *sees title* Also me: Uhm... PARDON!?!?!&?("!$?#!*!

[@Eeeeehhh]

This is the first video that I watched from your channel and I already appreciate you for asking the really important questions.

[@charadreemurr642]

I read the title and I was like; 'What the frik'

[@hooburtman]

I have anxiety when I go to FanExpo through Toronto but now I gotta have a hazmat suit so I don't get shat on.

[@joedoesthings8506]

The Poopatrator has struck again!

[@space_veggies]

"we've locked ourselves inside" Oh this harkens back to a simpler time

[@KingOfTheRoost]

*Chocolate Rain.*

[@yourehereforthatarentyou]

5:28 LOL holy shit that guy was just fishing and you drop in from the mountaintop like "hey"

[@matthewhoward8171]

I swear the guys inspiration is The Pooping Bandit 4chan green text meme

[@grantblythe332]

7:06 a film theory

[@Leo.23232]

At no height would it be lethal or physically dangerous, the terminal velocity would be way too low for that.

[@sawyerguerrero5304]

With the lethal poop question the answer is there is no height, it will reach terminal velocity too quickly.

[@pigio9033]

This, and also pouring maple syrup on a cop car, are the worst Canadian crimes people actually do.

[@a.kitcat.b]

☔Gotta bring an umbrella with me everywhere now. And I live in Arizona.💩

[@missingteeth]

imagine waking up one day thinking, “man, i wanna throw literal shit on people.”

[@ls-rk6hw]

Thank you for making a video about this LOL I keep telling non torontonians about this and they don't believe it

[@imtemoose749]

Happy thanksgiving mate

[@GoobertheGooba]

I feel like people are gonna imitate this in the same way people imitated the lady who licked icecream out of the tub and put it back.

[@mintazure-movedtoglasshear2079]

...I had no idea of this person and I'm in Canada(probably cause I don't read the news)... WHYYYYYYYYYY does humanity do this to us?!

[@commander_cream]

Did she leave again or something?! Not again

[@Nick8944.]

Forget Florida man we have Toronto man

[@gudetama2027]

gurl you got me laughing in class lookin like a damn clown 😂

[@marycanary6989]

Florida and Toronto have switched roles

[@imusingwindowsbtw1469]

You asked for it: (Sorry, didn't spellcheck) To find out if the poop would be deadly, you would need to find out it's terminal velocity, that's the velocity at which the gravitational drag from earth is just as strong as the deceleration from air resistance. Assuming that the shit would stay in one big block until it hits it's victim, we can calculate when it would be deadly. Now the main factor here is the Engery with which the shit hits the person. If we asumme that our 'shit-brick' just goes from speed to zero in the moment of the impact, that would make the energy that the victim expirences E=0.5*m*v^2 with m as the mass of the projectile and v it's terminal velocity. Now it takes approximately 500 kg of force or 5000 Newtons to crack a human skull at it's weakest point. The formula for the correlation between force and energy is E=F*d with d being the distance over whit the force needs to be applied. I'm no doctor, but I assume a turd entering deeper that 10 cm into your skull is pretty deadly, so we assume the force has to be applied over 0.1 m: Math time Since Energy can only be converted, not destroyed or created, all the energy that the turd brick had at the point of inpact needs to be applied to the skull, so: Energy Brick=Energy Skull F*d=0.5*m*v^2 Our values are F=5000 Newton, d=0.1 meter, m and v to be determined: m*v^2=1000 Joule Now calculating the terminal velocity is a thing of its own, however I found out that the terminal velocity is dependent from the mass of the projectile and the surface pointing downwards, and even better, if you double both the mass and the surface area, the terminal velocity stays the same, so v~m/A. m/A is the density of the turd, so we can say that: m^2/A*k=1000 Joules with k as some unknown number. In other words, we just need to maximize the weight of the poop while minimizing it's surface value. With some trying out of numbers (bcs I'm lazy) we come to the conclusion that the turd must way 5.7 kg/m^2. TlDR: For a turd to be deadly, assuming it's a turd brick and releases all its energy on the weakest part of the skull, it needs to have a weight of about 5.7 kg per square meter of its downwards surface.

[@rileyweatherspoon2380]

Excuse me, what the F A W K

[@Sam-tk6dq]

Now I straight up wanna figure out the question you asked lmao

[@Sam-tk6dq]

So I tried for an hour and I'm not even sure if any of it is right, but Idk the acceleration so I'm just fucked

[@liwo8998]

then he comes back and said sorry.

[@sf_7352]

5:36 Hey vsause Michael here, at what height must you drop liquid feces for it to be lethal

[@Someone89a]

In school we had the “Phantom Shit Smearer”... I’ll let others figure out what that involved

[@bowlofsoup3153]

You too? It’s like every physical school has this problem

[@Someone89a]

@@bowlofsoup3153 oh wow it’s a phenomenon it seems!

[@nickym4614]

@@Someone89a somebody once smeared the words "Obama 2016" in their own shit in the school bathroom

[@swiftysnail9053]

This happened 3 times *3 T I M E S*

[@ssip7339]

Oh no

[@noodlesoopersoop]

Thank goodness peepeepoopoo man has been caught, everyone at my school was terrified, whispers of the peepeepoopoo man could be heard in the halls everywhere you went. Truly trying times for students in Toronto.

[@1WEareBUFO1]

beware the peepeepoopooman he'll shit you from gut to gullet...!

[@sourfrog4263]

We live in a *SOCIETY*

[@PoisonIvory088]

4:00 hey Florida man is EBIK ok bad but a madlad,a badlad

[@BERSERK263]

Just curious is the sales of Pancho's have sky rocketed

[@givehappychemical]

The poo can't kill you no matter how high it gets because the drag of the air slows it down enough at full velocity to not kill you hut it could knock you out or cause bruises Edit: I have no qualifications

[@coreylyn05]

For some reason I read “Prop Attacker” and thought it was gonna be a prop hunt video 😅

[@cheesehoard]

this makes me think about the weird folks that video themselves climbing into septic tanks and hanging out :[

[@alexiancu3623]

This man is a menace to society

[@herx6339]

If you’d just dump it without the bucket not even the highest building in the world would be enough but if you dump it from a plane that shit is lethal

[@crunchygrunchy5741]

In America everyone is financially unstable and sick because hospital stays and ambulances cost like 1000 dollars but hey, at least we're not getting literal shit dumped on us

[@mndrakon]

I always say while I watch the news,,Toronto is a different dimension

[@mrwehraboo5478]

Toronto poop attacker is just florida man with extra steps

[@DreamDancer82]

I think my brain just exploded. That is just disgusting!

[@turnstilerockets]

This is our country now! We fear the legendary Poop Slinger of Toronto! Luckily I live in Alberta and there's no cases of a Poop Slinger here as of yet!

[@JacobHillSBD]

Society is crumpling? But WE LIVE IN ONE