The Tragedy of the Bison [TF2]

I don't wanna use laser guns anymore.
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Twitter: / thewhat89
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Special thanks to my cereal enjoyers:
Brickiest Brick: / brickiestbrick
Spaceguyonline: / @spaceguyonline
Zenith: / zenithzv
Music:
Transition Music: • Death Grips - Punk Weight
Radiohead 8 bit covers: • Radiohead - Kid A (8-b...
• In Rainbows 8-bit [FUL...
Ending song: • Radiohead - Burn The W...
Klaud: • LEGO Star Wars: The Sk...

[@proof4469]

Valve should just add a "BISON KILL!" message like they do with the Holy Mackerel. At least commend people killing with it if you're not going to buff it.

[@sophiegrey9576]

Or "LASER KILL!" for all of the laser weapons. even the mangler

[@aussietyrant3896]

that assumes valve will ever touch or look in tf2's direction again to update even something as small as that

[@AnnaSue81]

@@sophiegrey9576 thats good

[@Dr_Dan_]

@@aussietyrant3896 k doomer

[@jthablaidd]

Hah, like they care about the game anymore

[@monkeydetonation]

Tf2 devs be like "In the future, the Bison damage will be randomly generated!"

[@Coldcolor900]

bison will become the zaponator from terraria

[@zhemedic2639]

1-10 No random crits

[@The_Rising_Dragon]

81% Chance to do 10 damage 10% Chance to deal 60 damage 5 % Chance to deal 81 damage 3% Chance to deal 124 Damage 1% Chance to deal 3611 damage -No Random Crits!

[@sebastiangibson9671]

@@The_Rising_Dragon is the joke that its basacly random crits ?

[@The_Rising_Dragon]

@@sebastiangibson9671 Yes! :)

[@proof4469]

"Get the tissues, fellas" Alright! (pulls down pants) "This one's gonna be a tear jerker" Oh. (Pulls pants back up)

[@ARG0T]

It's gonna be a jerker all right

[@thebotanist7145]

Good one

[@reneethefox4797]

playing MGQ be like.

[@hahahahahaha2366]

@@reneethefox4797 yeah it'll be a tear jerker alright... FOR THEM! *daystar salamander daystar intensifies*

[@ShovelLettuce]

[ :)

[@mranchovy6003]

I remember using bison on hightower and everyone just started pretending that bison is scary lol

[@goji3908]

No, they feared the true might of the bison!

[@davisdf3064]

You're telling me that it isn't? 😨😨😱😱

[@justafan9206]

0_0

[@willemdafriend519]

Pretending?

[@Ziedmac]

When a hardened war criminal sees a cow mangler soldier running the bison they fucking run

[@OlaftheGreat]

About a week ago, I convinced half a 2Fort server to go have an all-out bison war. It was gloriously stupid.

[@Subject_Keter]

On Upward 4 cap, i managed to start a airblast war cuz i kept throwint heavies into the abyss so they tried throw me in.

[@Sasha-zw9ss]

@@Subject_Keter I wonder of it could work as a gamemode - 12 pyros vs 12 pyros, airblast only (with maybe reduced airblast cost).

[@modmaniamadness713]

@@Sasha-zw9ss x1000

[@JohnJones-mp3in]

Based

[@hellothereworld4401]

@@Sasha-zw9ssah, so you mean x1000 highertower

[@aetu35]

The tragedy I think of is the Equalizer. A weapon that was so good was skinned of its primary strength and is now less than the sum of its parts.

[@alargeredlizard3003]

At least it deserved its nerf tho

[@dugoose777]

The problem with it now is that it's too confusing, it should be a flat damage bonus or penalty instead

[@rockowlgamer631]

The sad thing is if they just didnt let the previous equalizer have random crits, it would probably be fine

[@_RegenIAm]

I randomly got a 5 killstreak the first time I used equaliser. And I never used this thing again. And it was on 2fort

[@giuseppe9653]

Dude i love the equalizer, i use it to duel demoknigths and use it with the conch to kill pushes by myself, its beautiful

[@drdala]

7:49 "you know the projectile penetration? the thing that's supposed to be the saving grace of the [BISON]?" LMFAO

[@TheJxR]

Yeah I just noticed that to, he probably accidentally called it the Pompson or something

[@MajorZero61]

@@TheJxR I heard a P sound. He definitely said Pomson.

[@Grilled_cheese_IV]

It happends again at 1:46

[@9frames590]

fun fact, bison is genuinely good at killing tanks in mvm and Im not even joking

[@davisdf3064]

Of course it's easy to kill and enemy that has a hitbox as large as a building and moves as fast as a reved up Brass Beast Heavy with the Bison

[@nicolasrage1104]

It’s actually kind of a good weapon in MVM. At least the best non Banner soldier secondary in MVM

[@9frames590]

@@davisdf3064 yes but it does serious damage

[@KAACHOW]

The banners will always overshadow it

[@nightnark3037]

so is a critboosted max damage beggars

[@pill6642]

Imagine if B4nny called you a cheater for killing him with the Bison

[@RandomRyan]

There would be like a 1 in a quintillion possibility of that happening lol

[@Roll3er]

@@RandomRyan a 1 in 1 chance of it happening he will say you are cheating kick!! And then rqs

[@pux0rb]

I remember a TF2 help tip that said something along the lines of shooting at a retreating enemy with the bison would grant additional hits or something. So it was COMPLETELY INSANE that valve updated the weapon and then mentioned that it was a BUG that you could get hit multiple times by the same projectile THE WHOLE TIME. Like, what? Am I just remembering this wrong, and there was never a tip for that in the loading screen? Because I remember my friends and I getting really upset when the nerf happened for that reason specifically.

[@Gensolink]

nah you're right. It was mind boggling to see this happen to a weapon that was not even that crazy. and I saw people called valve on their bullshit when that happened as well

[@BossKnight]

I am disappointed I only just now learnt that was removed

[@CHEH_tf]

0:47 "I use the bison a lot more than your average player. In fact I killed b4nny with it... TWICE" the "twice" is just too good 😂

[@bappojujubes981]

Killing someone with the Bison is like beating Fallout using the BB gun

[@youmukonpaku7661]

That was a good reference

[@godzillaworks4585]

​@@youmukonpaku7661thank you, touhou pfp

[@markhirsch6301]

Pretty easy, go for a sneak crits build with the unique varient

[@turkeysamwich00]

The juxtaposition of the cereal meme featuring brickiest brick, immediately cutting to Punk Weight at full volume made me lose my shit

[@Torque_Mk1]

Well, with the word tragedy mentioned, a certain scene comes to my mind... "Did you ever hear the tragedy of Righteous Bison the Secondary?"

[@faceless2302]

I thought not. It's not a story the buff banner users would tell you.

[@lordpumpkinhead265]

Sit down, young rocket jumper, this is a story of love, of war, of a kings' rising, and of a tragic downfall.

[@youtubeuniversity3638]

Imagine if the Bison's projectile speed was brought *all* the way down. Literally motionless. Make a laser wall.

[@shrimpchris6580]

It had a bug that kinda did that with some doors way back when. They'd all fling off when it opened lmao

[@r0ast5_61]

they need to fix the multiple hit problem and increase projectile speed, and in a addition to it , increase the capacity to 6, or give it some sort of situational upside

[@BonnerGaming]

Idea for the situational upside: Minicrit/Crit on burning players, also change the cow mangler to remove the alt fire minicrit increase the charge time and decrease ammo cost from 4 to 2 while keeping the ignites player part. sorta makes the two a combo

[@r0ast5_61]

@@BonnerGaming maybe a faster switch time so you can combo a charged shot with the bison

[@BonnerGaming]

@@r0ast5_61 Yeah but then it becomes too similar to the reserve shooter I think

[@r0ast5_61]

@@BonnerGaming very true, not sure what really could be done to make the weapon usable again

[@muddashucka9743]

The multiple hit thing is intentional, it's supposed to be more effective against fleeing foes. That's also why it moves so slowly, so that it can hit people multiple times. The Bison just needs a damage boost of some kind and it should be good.

[@hollowphantom9042]

I love how you used smosh as an example of something that went from good to bad

[@prohikikomo]

>implying Smosh was ever good

[@aravsingh2868]

@@prohikikomo >it was

[@kiracaroso]

They lost so much money that Good Mythical Morning was able to buy them somewhat recently.

[@burgerking5225]

@@prohikikomo average transgender “person” opinion

[@cattiston374]

@@burgerking5225 Average Gringo opinion, freeze peach until it isn’t.

[@alargeredlizard3003]

Cool story, trust me: So I was playing as Soldier in Payload Upward, but this was casual aka mvm but bad. So my team was getting rekt, and I was just using the righteous Bison since someone gifted it to me (Thank you Kiwicat) and was just shooting bots with basically a sticky trap by shooting lasers from a chokepoint and then suddenly catching a bot with a laser, y'know, dopamine stuff! And then... *CRIT!* Random crit. Killed a bot. I SCREAMED in joy and I was so sad it didn't leave or say anything. So epic and pog. The only thing better than that is if the random crit hit two bots and they could talk.

[@lordpumpkinhead265]

"We may be cheating but... did you just kill us with the Bison?"

[@JG_backup]

P

[@julianbo5870]

Okay, now what if... we reduced the projectile speed to 0 and make it like some weird sort of sticky trap?

[@Minnevan]

Valve, hire this man.

[@iminumst7827]

ultimate lag machine

[@Subject_Keter]

"It does worst damage then the Pomson!" That hurts.

[@LyritZian]

You did not mention the size of the hitbox. The hitbox used to be bigger before Meet Your Match. When they "reverted" it in Jungle Inferno, they did not make the hitbox as big as it used to be.

[@bizarreblack7190]

Also there is a hidden stat on bison, if you start using it there will always be atleast one soldier that will join you

[@caramelldansen2204]

Shounic's video on the Bison alongside this are the perfect double-blow to anyone who thinks TF2 is a functional or balanced game.

[@justvacuumingaround9309]

the story valve is afraid to remember

[@gelse6037]

they just don't remember da story themselves man

[@serPomiz]

the bison was born as a longer range secondary, to be good on range where the shotgun does next to nothing. and on paper, things is the same but the mechanic around it have changed; the hitbox of the laser has been reworked, the ramp-up/down of the ammo has changed, the speed is nowhere near the same, perforation is halfway gone the bison should be reworked from the ground up, remade in what it should be. I used to go on rampages armed only with the bison, the jumper and the whip. snipers feared me, scouts didn't like me, heavy found me mildly annoying. al sacrified in a name of consistency that isn't there.

[@GhostOfRazgiz]

I used to love using the Bison on MVM 666. The sheer number of bots combined with the piercing damage, made it an excellent tool for any wave with Pyros.

[@lyell63]

Is that our brickiest brick at around 1:05?

[@venezuela547]

Yes

[@ThePika78]

You say the Bison Fall from grace as if it was a long and dramatic fall, when in reality it was more like a trip on a banana peel

[@vincentpolaris8297]

14:42 finally Bison versus Pomson , this is a legendary fight

[@cheesepop7175]

pomson wins

[@andrewperkin7192]

I remember having fun with it It was fun to use not as consistent as a shotgun but it worked as a side grade with it's better range and satisfying way to hit Someone.

[@bitzthe8bit668]

This is a false memory, possibly replaced the actual memory because of the trauma of how bad it is

[@Fatsaver]

@@bitzthe8bit668 No it was actually decent lol. You could even be good with only using it too.

[@carterbennett7528]

As the worlds biggest bison enthusiast, this saddens me and makes me happy

[@Kernwadi]

“Water is like liquid elevator music.” -Bilbo Baggins

[@Kernwadi]

Yes.

[@purplehaze2358]

Complaining about the state of the bison is like shouting at a brick wall expecting it to break. Valve is most likely going to do nothing for a very long time.

[@Yikes6571]

7:45 "The thing that's supposed to be the saving grace of the Pom-" "BISON."

[@PotatoPatatoVonSpudsworth]

The Bison earns respect. The Pomson earns pity.

[@Person-tz1tk]

I want a damage, clip size, reload speed and projectile speed buff to the bison.

[@russelthebastard]

An everything buff basically 💀

[@Person-tz1tk]

@@russelthebastard indeed

[@bagl7833]

"So I think it's time I take you back. Back to a time when the bison was still on the track" nice Weezer reference, best song

[@kowalskee360]

You and I are the only The What fans to appreciate this reference

[@wildwilly356]

bison went from baerly usable to completly unusable

[@areallyorganizedpileofants1272]

4:50 i want whatever engie goblin is taking

[@Yeah12831]

Love hearing a 16 bit version of weird fishes/arpeggi in the background

[@Ihavenoideaofwhatimdoing]

I want a video from you about every futuristic-looking weapon such as the Mannmelter now

[@Azzworld093]

The only usable ones: Cow Mangler 5000 and the phlog

[@punishederic4761]

One of your best vids yet, idk if you are editing these or if you have someone else do them but the comedic timing is on point.

[@quitequeerquesadilla]

That intro genuinely took me back 12 years in time

[@averageengineer9500]

I just bought a bison strangifier with my flip taunt The next thing I did is strangefy my bison And haven't touched tf2 for a week coz of wasting my only money on it Then this video came out

[@muczkapl]

0:22 damn you timed that plug with my groan smart man

[@swaygle]

The best part is I could immediately recognize weird fishes when the 8-bit version started playing

[@slackin8029]

Can’t wait for him to make a collectors strange kill streak vintage righteous bison

[@jadsoncaua5939]

"We're going back in time to the Meet your Match Update to take the bison off the menu."

[@GetzaBerry1it]

The last time the bison was fully usable was when you could get multiple projectiles stuck on the gates at the start of a match. Giving the team who did it a huge boost

[@epicgamerwin1874]

That poor bastard at 14:46 running in the pomson…

[@Izayoink_Saccuy]

Holy shit even the best gamer himself Jesus tell us to respect bison

[@EnergyBurst2]

I remember watching the Muselk vid of him going godlike with the Bison and really wanting to try using the weapon one day when I had a comp that could run TF2 since it seemed like a fun weapon, well that day eventually came, but not before Meat your Match did sadly, so I wasn't even excited to get to use it anymore.

[@Jareb_Delgado]

I wonder why the laser weapons are so nerfed in TF2, its a shame because they look cool.

[@highproteincorn]

7:53 the saving grace of the P-[BISON]

[@Duckthief229]

I once saw a guy with a strange Bison, he had 800 kills. 800. KILLS.

[@MintManicus]

I love the whole thing about the Bison lighing Huntsmen arrows being this game shattering feature

[@Snavels]

1:40 That soy kill is just hilarious and it's even funnier considering the player's name is "Bad Spy Player"

[@Clatgineer]

Dude slap some afterburn on its projectile and call it a day, balance achieved

[@The_Rising_Dragon]

The Rocket Jumper gets more reliable kills than the Bison. I mean, self kills are kills nonetheless!

[@Fatsaver]

Please do a comparison of how terrible the hitbox truly is. I'm pretty sure it's the only weapon where you can miss while the enemy is straight into your face lmfao

[@deadfish331]

so glad he’s a death grips fan

[@Freakmaster480]

The weird fishes 8 bit cover sent me on a spiral of trying to remember which radiohead song I was hearing.

[@adamhendrick.]

16:47 jesus christ, IT'S JESUS CHRIST!

[@Greyellow-oi9fs]

Newest valve update: fixed a bug where the bison dealt damage

[@thethumbisafinger]

3:30 you’re so witty I love it

[@toymaster4041]

"Like a tutorial on how to piss with your eyes closed. Why would you even bother?" Women: "Pathetic"

[@jamiehughes5573]

Anyone who pees sitting: Pathetic indeed

[@AugustTheNinjaGR360]

Unfortunately however, the EXACT same could be said about kid's shows and I don't even have to explain why.

[@nonameforyou4755]

0:06 "Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?"

[@Spir1tSolo]

I remember many custom servers trying to buff the weapon One with faster projectile speed and slightly more damage. And i'm being honest, it was still a torture to kill someone with it. Meanwhile another server just reverted the projectile hitbox size, and it was way easier to use it.

[@muddashucka9743]

The multiple hit aspect of the Righteous Bison is intentional, it's supposed to be more effective against fleeing foes. That's also why it moves so slowly, so that it can hit the same target more. The Bison just needs a damage boost of some kind and it should be good.

[@whatpantz]

well, pissing with your eyes closed is helpful for when you have to go at night

[@da3m0nic_79]

TheWhat saying "doesen't" really got me, idk why

[@numbug1234]

It's worth mentioning that pre-MYM, the Bison actually had a viable niche in competitive 6v6, in being a good Soldier weapon to get crit boosted by the Kirtzkrieg, due to the penetration aspect. I think it's unviable now though, due to the changes in flame particles EDIT: so this is wrong lol, it was used in one competitive match as a meme.

[@HyperTheWorst]

Started enjoying playing and watching TF2 and so many amazing youtubers I’ve been watching for the first time ever; elmaxo, zenith, Uncle Dane, Thewhat show, and so many more. I’m relaxing in bed unable to sleep at 4:50 AM and oh so close to falling asleep while watching a funny video when suddenly i’m met with whatever the hell the chapter 1 intro sound was. Now i’m afraid for my life and every time i close my eyes i imagine only being able to use the bison in every game.

[@Felix-Felix]

Please make a video about every futuristic style weapon, like manmelter. I'm pretty sure no one can be as passionate as you about them, and this is a legit compliment.

[@Qwerty-zj3rk]

I reckon it’d be cool if it also drained Übercharge and spy cloak like the Pomson does.

[@CAMSLAYER13]

No, thats easily the worse stat in the game. You know what else drains cloak and uber? Death. Valve basically crippled the pomson because they thought that stat was good,

[@user-nu7xl6er4l]

01:07 punk weight jumpscare

[@YeetZmeN]

I watched this video before I first listened to The Money Store, so when I finally did and realized what the transition song was it blew my fucking mind

[@marshallhorton7154]

did you ever hear the tragedy of darth plagueis the wise? i thought not. it's not a story the jedi would tell you. it's a sith legend. darth plagueis was a dark lord of the sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the force to influence the midichlorians to create life... he had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. the dark side of the force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. he became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. ironic, he could save others from death, but not himself.

[@yendogameing6776]

Cereal Guy would NEVER appear in the video twice...

[@Gulliblepikmin]

And the worst part is that it's not big and floofy, and can't protect us from the universe whooping our ass.

[@LukeyPooky]

Cool to see you use a clip of my footage. Great content, keep up the good work!

[@TheWhatShow]

Thanks man!

[@hankb4516]

That Freddy Fazbear gag was legendary.

[@Subject_GR33N]

The only thing I could remember and even consider as an explanation as to why the Bison was nerfed in MyM (and this was a while ago) was because comp players realized that by spamming bison with the kritzkrieg you can get stupid amounts of damage from it. This would explain why they originally "patched" the bison's ability to pierce targets, as well as making it do far less damage every time it pierced someone. Which then makes the projectile speed nerf make more sense as it would not only make you unable to spam out long hallways easily, but also punish people who were retreating. This whole thing is just a downhill ride of one thing explaining another of a nerf that wasn't necessary due to how limiting the bison already was. It makes me sad that no weapon is safe from the valve treatment of nerfing weapons into oblivion, not even designated bad ones, and even not even for simple bug or exploit patches.

[@elchipplushproductions9340]

also imagine they nerf the C.A.P.P.E.R which is a community created lazer pistol uncrate that costs 70$ alone

[@mr_pigman1013]

I only started playing tf2 recently and I didn’t even know it existed until now

[@saraslha3589]

I can absolutely fucking guarantee, that the only thing using the bison can get you is honor. The higher your strange count, the higher the honor count goes. I know a fool, nay; a hero, who has over 10 K kills on it, once you reach hales own, you reach enlightenment. Even I haven't gotten there quite yet, but pulling out my 4 K bison has a tendency to turn the server into a meme shit fest with 8 soldiers using it in total. Absolutely beautiful, don't expect to get a serious match with it especially if people join in on it. Use the liberty launcher for more rocket jumps and more rockets to juggle and immolate your foes with, its damage penalty isn't big enough to make it hard to two tap them light foes, and it's easier to not kill them with the LL by accident, securing the immolation.

[@Neanderzz]

ningelo’s drive scares me. godspeed you crazy bastard, wherever you may be.

[@saraslha3589]

@@Neanderzz I never understood how he did it

[@OlaftheGreat]

Nothing is quite as intense as bison mge

[@sansmorty9136]

that intro just brought memories of when everything wasn't depressing

[@timelord5055]

A true bison gamer always uses the full Dr. Gorobort set and some kind of dumb melee like stock, the equalizer, or my personal favorite: the katana. Nothing shows the true honor of a bison gamer like missing every shot and using a sword instead

[@Cabbage9503]

"How many collateral kills did you think I got with the Bison?" "Zero." "Zero" "PFFT- I WAS JOKING"

[@Bazinguh]

both the bison in tf2 and bizon in csgo are absolute shit, i think valve hates things that sound like "bison"

[@hakuru4578]

0:00 SMOSH

[@nofivefivesevenseven]

Give the bison an even slower projectile speed but higher damage and more single-target hits

[@aeoninfinity247]

My dude really out here dropping 2 laser gun documentaries in a row Now document the laser flamethrower we all love to hate >:)

[@wilfstor3078]

I can't help but decide if the "I'm going to drop a piano on you" line was a nod to Top Gear dropping a piano on the Morris Marina, which is universally recognized as a shit car

[@Izayoink_Saccuy]

Remember the shutter door glitch? Yeah let's not talk about it

[@SM64002]

Have you ever heard of the tragedy of Darth Bison the Righteous?

[@germanjetlag]

The old Smosh Intro got me

[@Musicbox_the_paranoid]

The bison is the child that the drunk stepdad Valve hits with a belt

[@mananonymous7197]

Man this video is good Hope to see you as a respected TF2 KZbinr in the future