The Truth About Financial Infidelity - Dave Ramsey Rant

[@BrokeAristocrats]

Being controlled, gaslit, and defrauded is why I am now single. Good riddance!

[@Michele-kx9ru]

But the lessons she taught me make it all worth it. I still can honestly say I love that woman with all my heart. She changed me and took what I needed taken away to grow and become a better person in life. Now to put it in my past and move on for I can't wait to see what the next chapter in my life has instore for me. Life is what U make it. And I gave too much of myself my time and my heart and it almost cost me my life and I have goals and dreams to reach. I meant when I shared these things and I will try my hardest and my best to reach my perfect happy place in this life. God is good for he gave me today which is never promised.

[@jonblackwell9520]

Let's bring up - *Lies by omission*. This is a big one... it's what a spouse doesn't say. For example saying 'I'm getting my hair cut today, just think about the cost as saving lots of money' and going way over budget getting extra stuff that triples the cost. Both unexpected and unnecessary... I'd call this 'deception'. Especially when paid form another account your partner doesn't have access to.

[@Nerf-Or-Nothing-z9o]

God is Good! I am following the channel and started the program last week. We are on baby step no. 2 and today I was informed that the church We are attending is offering the financial peace university workshop every Sunday at 11AM. Wow!

[@granitemoss1451]

That sounds like a sure sign you're on the right path, Miguel. I wish you luck with it!

[@barrybrian5458]

Until recently we never had enough money to lie to each other about it.

[@katmac22km]

I made that mistake and it cost me everything I loved

[@samanthabaker7823]

Going through this for the 3rd time in 12 years with my husband... he's racked up $50k in consumer debts over 2 years that I didn't know about until we needed to pay for a new roof and couldn't afford it. He says he feels shameful that he can't handle his money, so I feel like it's partially my fault for not sharing the responsibility more, but I'm not sure how else to support him so that this doesn't keep happening. I have tried since the first time it happened to have weekly money talks, make budget plans together, and convince him to combine bank accounts, but he just won't do anything I suggest. He is very secretive about his money and hesitates to even tell me exactly how much he earns. We're finally trying couples counseling this time around. If this doesn't work, I'll have no choice but to leave even though he's great in every other way. I wish I knew a real life Dave Ramsey who could give me advice.

[@MariaGuild-c1l]

Im in the same boat :( It really sucks

[@lala5061]

​@MariaGuild-c1l ain't no secrects when it comes to the money yall survival...ask to see those stubs and or tax return! It's been taking me a while to do but I gotta do it...this probably ginna end it for me depending on his response but I didn't marry so we really aren't responsible for wach other I just can't do it 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@SamuelB4]

Lol "There is no positive effect to your marriage when you lie to your spouse."

[@philipgerry5228]

I’ve never met divorced people who weren’t the victim.

[@mluck8386]

He bought properties secretly, got into businesses secretly, resigned and cashed pensions secretly, had extra incomes I knew nothing about. Now I learn he is in trouble with some of those which are fraudulent. I hope he lend up in jail. He started this or rather I found out some of these a year into the marriage.

[@MiguelRPD]

I have $5,000 in credit card and I'm gonna pay it off slowly and never make this mistake again. I hate that America doesn't have a class to teach you how to use money.. I'm 25. If you're younger than me and occuring some debt already. STOP and for the love of God educate yourself.

[@gigi8528]

I agree with you. Maybe it’s purposely intended to lead uneducated people into debt. I have $6300 in debt and no one told me better, not even my parents. I’m glad I learned my lesson though, it’s up to me to not repeat those mistakes.

[@EmilyPetersenHomemaking]

Same! I had about $6000 in credit card debt and decided to kick it out of my life. I sent the majority of my last two paychecks to pay it off and swore off extravagant spending. Now I’m down to about $3200 and I want to pay it off very soon. Feels so much better without that added stress in my life.

[@MiguelRPD]

Amelia Basia That amazing ! I'm going to do a balance transfer to a 0% apy (15 months) and 0% balance fee transfer and get mine payed on a plan. Hopefully I can since college is a money sink even though I know I need it to further myself.

[@drummergeorge9642]

This is what makes the rich rich and the poor poor. EDUCATION. I am getting a BA. and I didn't learn about money at all, until I found Dave Ramsey. I was in CAR DEBT, SCHOOL DEBT. And now I am looking to pay it all off by the mid year of 2018.

[@AgentMrX7]

Miguel Angel Medina Rise I had $14k in CC debt last year. Did the the same thing, balance transferred 0% interest cc and paid it off. Year later cc debt free. You can do it. Just stay committed and don't spend anything with you cc. Take it out of your wallet.

[@Telcomvic]

I disagree completely! My husband is a spender and I'm I saver. If he knew how much money I was socking away from my paycheck in my 401K when I was working, he would have been livid. Now that we are retired and drawing from the 401K he says. WOW! How did you get all that money???? I just told him it was my lump sum pension in lieu of monthly payouts plus my saving. Which is true--but the 401K is the majority of the money. He's not very savvy with investing. So I just don't tell him the actual percentage.

[@cavianguardian]

That’s smart!

[@cheerfulmouse]

Similar, my hidden money is savings. Hubs hidden debt & purchases he bitches about repaying. I put everything into the budget & ask before many things, or at least disclose what clothes or other family purchases I did. Always willing to return or stop for a time.

[@joycelam3298]

I am always honest with my husband with money. We trust each other 100%.

[@queenbell9230]

I’m sorry but this only works when both of you are good with money.

[@debkelley2108]

Meanwhile, most wives are going without.

[@buffymcmuffin5361]

They married him. Their choice.

[@pep590]

@@buffymcmuffin5361 People hide all kinds of things, including their dishonesty before marriage.

[@brutustantheiii8477]

Meanwhile a not small minority of fathers unknowingly raising another man’s kids as their own, after SHE Lied

[@MrDpms2010]

I want to see the gun collection now

[@mountainlaurel7414]

And I want to see the purses now 😂

[@SAE-Restorations]

Fourth option, i hide money because my wife will spend it if i dont. I need a reserve to get through lifes emergencies. The only saved money we have at all is the money i wont let her spend

[@queenbell9230]

Exactly not everyone is good with money.

[@Carib6855]

Dave is a financial coach not a spouse coach.

[@Tendomcgoobin]

Divorce

[@donnaallgaier-lamberti3933]

I had financial infidelity in my marriage. I was naive and inexperienced apparently and did not see the signs until they were hitting me in the head (after the fact.) I think i would see this now but I did not see them then. We were working hard and both very busy. He took early retirement and used a lot of that time period to shop, collect, hide his boys toys. It was not that he even had to use them he just felt he NEEDED to have them. I believe it was a kind of an addiction for him combined with ADHD that moved into early cognitive decline. I have now taken over all financial power of attorney. He had no access to our money now in order to protect us from running out as we age. I have learned that abusing money, SPENDING AND HIDING and over sPending is very common in cognitive decline.

[@TheVeganeater]

No lies just didn't include me or discuss lending money to family members. And once confronted defense was it's her money. She earns more than me so she's the boss I guess is how it goes.

[@alisongoldsberry8657]

Hard harsh TRUTH

[@kingkappa9916]

Entertaining the In-Laws or even paying for their shopping whilst the other is at work, earning a living. Marrying a closet gambler is another. Also putting away some money whilst still married, so that the other party can pay for legal expenses of the divorce is another. Now single, older and wiser. 🦉😁

[@mwl41223]

What about when Any negative news about money means hours of screaming, blaming and never getting to discuss solutions. Weeks of verbal hostility and threat of physical violence. I deal with as much as I can myself because there is no where to run with three special needs kids.

[@luzandlife9425]

Im so sorry. I too feel stuck, i have 2 little ones. 😔

[@Stil1_loading]

I am at the point of separating everything we have a joint investment. Im willing to take the lose and separate the funds.

[@ngolwechifunda6223]

What if your spouse is never keen on taking advantage of business opportunities that present themselves? Is it ok to cheat? They are ever risk averse, even when you present the opportunity and the viability thereof, sometimes listening to your spouse all the time can make one miss out on opportunities.

[@Birkinbag09]

This is why I'm single!!!

[@davester1970]

When you are single, it is very easy to tell yourself no and know who is to blame if you find yourself in financial problems.

[@gooney0]

Until you want kids stay single.

[@bricosis]

I hide my debt from my new girlfriend of 3.5 months. we were going to move in together and I had to tell her. It was 20000 dollars worth of debt..mostly student debt. She was receptive of it..told me sell my expensive truck and move into her house to save money..The next day she changed her mind. Said by not telling her right away I was lying to her. How long should you take to talk about debt? She never disclosed her debt or money. Sad how I lost the best thing that happened to me

[@biellaspointofview2054]

How did you hide the debt? Did she ask how much debt you're in and you lied? that's on you. But if the two of you never spoke of money and all the sudden she asks and you're honest and she decides to leave then don't blame yourself. On your next relationship you can discuss money early on but make it a conversation to where you say you've been listening to Dave Ramsey and are working to paying off your debt. That way you brought it up first and not as if you got caught.

[@craigslistoceanside8677]

Someone get this man some mittens!

[@brantley2171]

Show us the gun collection!

[@NicoBaker-u4m]

38% is very very high Are we hoping that spouses are all sharing bank accounts? Orrrrr... Lol people are allowed to have SOME secrets though. Like obviously it's BEST to be transparent, but a sensitive adult should filter a FEW things from their partner

[@chrisv8404]

Man I'd love to see dave come to my work an talk to some stupid people it would be so funny

[@aprilracine]

While we were on the Dave Ramsey plan my husband stole $600 from me. This was the last straw and we are now getting a divorce.

[@aprilracine]

The problem is I only have $1000 in my emergency fund and I need to pay for a lawyer. The good part is his debt is no longer in the debt snowball.

[@jorgerivera8331]

Good call

[@granitemoss1451]

What do you mean by 'stole $600 from me'? If you were on the DR plan, there is no 'his' money, no 'her' money, so how on earth could he 'steal' if from you. Do you mean he spent $600 outside of the agreed upon budget?

[@aprilracine]

K H-C I have a bank card that came up “missing”. I asked him did he take the card for anything and he told me that he didn’t. He would call me from work and asked me have I found the card yet knowing all along it was in his pocket. He watch me search all around the house and in the car looking for it.

[@aprilracine]

K H-C The best part is when he watched me call Kroger grocery store to ask them if I left it there. He wanted me to think that some random person had stolen it just so he could use the money for whatever he wanted.

[@HotepSaoirse]

The guns and purses useful because if the famers for soel reason can't produce their lifestock you can go out and get some meat yourself and the purse can be used to carry ammo.

[@buffymcmuffin5361]

LOL. Oh Yea! Get a big purse!

[@buffymcmuffin5361]

There's always room for another gun.

[@92Munson]

Dave, I have about 10 grand in credit card debt. Should I be concerned w my credit score by opting for a debt consolidation program to reduce my payments and interest or just do whatever it takes to eliminate the debt first and foremost?

[@dp4kallday]

92Munson Just pay it off. You spent the money so face the consequences and pay it off with the lesson you learned.

[@drummergeorge9642]

Pay it off! There is no short cuts for debt. PAY YOUR DUES.

[@DevonMcGettrick]

Do whatever you can to pay off that debt!! Pick up a few extra jobs, cancel any subscriptions (cable, downgrade your cell service)

[@gooney0]

If you can pay it off do so. If you need time (1 or 2 years) and have decent credit, you can transfer to debt to another card and get 6months or a year at 0% APR. If your credit is already bad, or you can't afford reasonable payments use the debt consolidation program. You can fix your credit score latter. Do the "Baby Steps" at the same time. You need to get on a budget so that you're making a profit each month. You will probably need to lower your lifestyle and cut expenses.

[@beaver53511]

My wife and I have an agreement, all purchases over $100 needs to be discussed, all our debt is on the table, however I still save cash here and there that my wife doesn’t know about.

[@wbtittle]

Guns: A place I am guilty. She knows they exist. I do not beat her over the head with it. I don't collect. But things have been dicey in the world. I am not going to get into a deep fight over it. If they become necessary, they will magically appear.

[@lindaleelaw5277]

Maybe we can start writing off some of these spouses as a " Business loss'.?????

[@Neilram2001]

This dude laughs at his own "jokes."

[@glowiever]

Neil Ram it takes a skill to laugh at oneself

[@Tagatiway]

Don't you though?

[@pep590]

Neil Ram It's part of his total persona. He's not reading the news.

[@drummergeorge9642]

I'm the type of guy, that buys girls things for his own satisfaction. I want to find a woman who can submit herself to me. I would love for her to be a stay at home wife, and go out with her friends, and then come home to me and tend to my needs. Perfect life. She will have no stress, and neither will I. Of course, I will be making enough to support two people , when I finished my Masters.

[@gooney0]

Good luck with that. Money is hard to earn and easy to spend. Look how many rich people divorce over money.

[@pamperedgurl]

I think that if you find a lady with the same values you share, you will find what you seek. Rich people and other divorce over issues where money is only the symptom.

[@drummergeorge9642]

That is because they marry girls who have no gratitude, to them, the guy's money is hers. No, I don't want to date one of those hot girls, I want a women who is about 3 levels lower than me. So that I am the best thing she will ever get. She won't leave me then.

[@Vydio]

You are certain that Master's is going to pay you that well? I'd make sure I have the job before proposing to anyone.

[@drummergeorge9642]

Vydio, I am determined to be a millionaire, if you are like Dave and his followers, you know what I am talking about. Dave preaches Riches. I am following his baby steps, so I can afford to do so, realistically. I'm going to be debt free by 01/1/2018. Car, student debt paid off. I'm 100% serious here.

[@titan3063]

*MGTOW is the way to go.*

[@MargaretQ]

I'm a women who believes in traditional gender roles. And I think you can find a woman who will respect you and your finances. Hope you do. God bless

[@gooney0]

I hear ya. My wife often gripes about not having enough money yet spends far more and makes far less. There seems to be an assumption that she's entitled to do so just because she's female. (no kids) A few years ago we separated. She left me because I was unreasonable for attempting to limit the amount of money she spent per month. In her mind I was to pay all the bills and her money was her's to spend. My money was her's to spend also. I was terrible for trying to "charge her rent like a roommate." It took a long time to make her understand that I deserve to spend or save half the money we have. We got back together but $20,000+ in debt was created. Financial Peace University helped big time. She wouldn't listen to me but she did listen to Dave. When we got married I would never have guessed that she would have such attitudes. Fairness to me never even crossed her mind. She expected to live off of me like a child. Many women want the best of the 1950's AND today. They want to stay at home, make decisions, and avoid cooking and cleaning. They're "traditional" enough to earn very little money, and "feminist" enough to never ask to spend. They feel entitled to rights that no man has ever had. They also don't have the limitations that men do. A man is expected to provide and keep his word. Women do neither and don't even feel badly about it. I love my wife and I'm glad we're still married. It could've gone the other way though. If I weren't a Christian I'd never get married. Marriage is terrible for good men. (Unless you want kids)

[@pamperedgurl]

Pessimistic Pizza, very interesting book and articles. Thanks for sharing.

[@granitemoss1451]

Ah, Gooney, no. "Marriage is terrible for good men" Not if they marry a good woman! But some men seem to choose poorly and then want to gripe that the problem is clearly that she's a she, rather than realize the fact that they did not pick a good 'she'. I don't mean to apply that idea only to men, either- plenty of ladies picking losers, getting burned and then swearing that all men are no-good. Don't pick a rotten apple from the bunch and then assume they're ALL rotten!

[@gooney0]

Like any contract it's good as long as everyone is happy. If the marriage ends it's a raw deal. Look into the laws. We loose custody, pay child support and alimony by default. The burden of proof is on men. Fault rarely exists or is even taken into account anymore. Your wife can cheat on you abandon you AND get alimony and half the assets. Divorce is great for people who earn less than their spouse and a punishment for those who work hard and save. I've known plenty of men ruined by divorce. Their ex-wives are doing just fine.

[@hiitsmemindyourownbusiness2602]

Every husband and wife lie to each other.

[@gooney0]

I don't. My wife doesn't either for the most part.

[@makeupjunkie81]

No no not true at all! My husband & have been together for almost 15 yrs. & We both have not told any lies & you know what we have an AWESOME MARRIAGE cause of it!!

[@RyanSmith-od5cj]

Whatever you gotta tell yourself to sleep at night.

[@pep590]

Hi It's Me Mind Your Own Business We sure know that you do.