The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap

[@YY4Me133]

She's a terrific speaker. Very informative, not preachy, good sense of humor, doesn't sound like she's reading from a script. I don't usually watch such long videos, but I really enjoyed this one. Thanks for uploading it. I'm surprised it hasn't gotten more views by now.

[@rhyfeddu]

27:15 "I said earlier that we think marriage was invented to turn strangers into relatives, but the flip side of marriage, illegitimacy, was invented to turn relatives into strangers". Well. That got my attention. How well put. Obviously she doesn't mean "invented for the sole purpose of", but that the idea of legitimate and illegitimate make this an inevitable by product. Great talk.

[@jameelahedwards8550]

Extremely informative talk -- I'm looking forward to more of her work

[@cecile1959]

The one thought I am left with is this: Love is not enough. Neither is status, wealth or power. Marriages will always be a job, it takes work. It also helps to have a community of friends and family who support your union. What I do know, that if you and your spouse are willing to do the work, and have faith in God (or your higher power), that will help strengthen the cords of your bond. I believe that marriages in the future will combine some of the old with some of the new and we will create a new society, one that is less judgmental, more creative, accepting and communal.

[@alipaloba398]

what does god have to do with this

[@nbme-answers]

3:20 talk begins

[@meghanmobley2494]

[@gmogottago7746]

Keep in mind this is the European experience with marriage which is MUCH different than other cultures, typically more dysfunctional than other cultures.

[@dangelo1369]

But not by much.

[@megane1315]

Do you happen to know off the top of your head anything or anyone I can read up or watch to see a good analysis of a non European perspective? (Thank you if you do or don’t either way, this topic as a whole is deeply interesting to me and I’d like to get as many intersecting perspectives as possible!)

[@malizee2264]

“Problems are sometimes opportunities in work clothes. But if you won’t sit down with them because of the way they’re dressed, you’re never gonna find out.”

[@SLICENSLASH]

I agree that the issues society faces with modern marriage are irreversible, and it will take new ideas & solutions to resolve the problems. Overall a very informative video. Alot of the ideas I had about marriages of the past she verified. It seems the instability in todays marriages isn't going anywhere.

[@tonarikaibutsu6483]

But you are assuming marriage is a result of love but people can also get married and fall in love and have that love grow and evolve with age. I do not understand how marriage as an institution cannot coexist with love between people. Your argument about strong institutions is wrong as you describe strong institutions to be tyrannical and that is not necessarily a strong institution. Also marriage isn't just emotions. It can be practical as well as emotional.

[@alandonsaji6673]

Because in the past it's not based on love or choice...y

[@christophers.985]

James, it doesn't destroy anything. What Stephanie does is push a movement. Keeping a blessed nation in turmoil, keeps her in business. Notice that she never mentions how miserable men were and are. Her speech title is disingenuous. It should read, "Horrible men and wonderful women throughout history. Her facts...I didn't see any sources. James, you and I could also present an ugly one sided speech as a rational discussion. Most of her issues have been negotiated and over 1/2 still fail.

[@kythrathesuntamer9715]

"she never mentions how miserable men were and are. " because of men like yourself, christopher. Not because of the lack of traditional marriage or traditions we never really even wanted.

[@MA-yu2ss]

@@kythrathesuntamer9715 thank you

[@dangelo1369]

You speak for yourself. How dare you presume for others what “happiness” is or should be. It’s exactly for people like you she’s giving this lecture and writing her books; you’re under this delusion about what marriage is and was, that FACTS AND HISTORY actually debunk. You may be “miserable” because you’re pursuing a dream, that is just that: a dream.

[@keeganpc9446]

When the video is only 240P

[@IllusionJim]

Ok, Outlaw 2468. What is she twisting, what did she say that is incorrect?

[@jonnysmith6673]

how beautiful

[@zedmak]

We say if $hit was sugar farmers would not plant cane.

[@wyleFTW]

10:54 "In most societies that didn't allow divorce, all that meant is when desertion happened women and children had no recourse to get alimony or child support" This is what irks me most about the politically correct movement. You'll see so many liberal speakers make comments to disparage men; in this case she's assuming that men are the only ones deserting their families. Now, that comment doesn't bother me at all. I don't care if this chick says women never abandoned their families when women definitely have and do in many cases-- probably not nearly as often as men if I had to guess-- but in many cases. What bothers me is that there's a double standard with political correctness in that you're allowed to paint straight people, white people, and males with such a broad brush, but if you say something along the lines of "Islamic terrorism is a threat", just as an example, politically correct people will shout you down for generalizing and "attacking the Islamic faith". There are so many examples of the politically correct movement contradicting itself that it's not even funny and this is why I think its existence is detrimental in the first place. I realize this is probably completely unrelated to the video so my comment is irrelevant, but I already typed it up so I'm posting it lol

[@w41g87]

Now you are just choosing to get triggered.

[@felixz2752]

Checkmark

[@dustinduffie4409]

All this contemporary family stuff drives me crazy I am a traditional Christian who believes it's one man one woman not Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve's not two people living together not people having sex before marriage you wait until you're married to live together and have sex that's what my wife and I did we were both virgins when we got married six years ago two days ago and we've had an awesome marriage we're both traditional Christians we believe that you wait till you're married to have sex and live together we started dating in May 2017 that was Saturday May 27th 2017 and we married on Thursday July 20th 2017 so yes we were only together seven weeks and five days we went to the same school but we hardly knew each other we knew of one another but we wasn't really that good friends and we still didn't have to live together to figure out that we were right for each other if you got God in your life you don't have to do all that stuff I think a lot of this living together and having sex outside of marriage it's these people who think well you know God loves me anyway God does love you anyway and yes it's possible to have a good life after that but we already knew that it was wrong to do that it's never too late to make things right if you do not know Jesus Christ as your lord and savior please pray this prayer with me dear Lord I know I'm a sinner I know I'm not perfect and I know I never will be but Lord I want to ask you to come into my heart and save my soul and I want you to be the Lord of my life I need you to be my savior I need you to be my Lord I believe that you sent your son Jesus to die on the cross to save my sins and he rose again from that tomb paying the way so I don't have to suffer and I don't want to suffer Lord I want to be your child I want to come home and be with you one day in heaven so Lord please forgive me of all my many sins and change me and make me a better person thank you Lord in Jesus name I believe in you in Jesus name and all God's people said amen please get into a bible-believing church for those of you who pray this prayer if you are not already have a church home and you are in the North Mississippi area I would love to invite you to Oak Valley Christian church located at 258 County Road 600 Tupelo Mississippi 38801 where we serve God preach Jesus and love others and they are all about the restoration movement and Jesus Christ is the main attraction if you are still in Mississippi and you do not have a church home if I can be of help log on to my Facebook page Dusty Duffie add me as a friend once I confirm it go to my profile get my phone number off of there and shoot a text or call and I will be more than happy to maybe help you get into a church in the area of North Mississippi I know a lot of people and I've been a lot of places I'm also a part-time gospel singer so I do know that I can try to be of help some way or another but once you find your church home or you come to Oak Valley please make known that you have given your life to Christ and please be baptized for the Forgiveness of your sins God bless you all and remember Jesus loves you

[@dangelo1369]

If you were a “traditional Christian”, you’d be Jewish. All you’re saying is that you want the society to go back to a time that never existed and you never lived through. Men DID abandon families, wives DID die during childbirth, women WERE impoverished. And all the church did was act as an opiate as Marx opined to ease the pain of the masses whose lives were miserable. If cosplaying to a society back in Bronze Age works for you, have at it. But realize that it’s just pretend, as not even they lived the way you idolize. Nor does anyone with any sense would want to live that way.

[@alandonsaji6673]

Post ur religious bs elsewhere

[@kahlodiego5299]

Gender roles for Jesus!

[@dustinduffie4409]

And by the way outside of death there's no reason we should have one parent families no household should be two parents a husband and a wife biblical teachings art of a husband and wife the only reason there should be remarriage is because of death not nasty divorce

[@TheOutlaw256]

she is so full of crap its not even funny..she tries to twist everything that comes out of her mouth.icant believe that people believe her.i know now that i should have went further in life.im a highly educated man and i wasted it. i should have just followed her and rebuked her every word.