The Weight of Invisible Labor: Ryan's Real Talk on Motherhood and Mental Load

[@kenyarichardson3273]

I felt this. Now that it has a name... It will help me express it better. Motherhood is overwhelming but can be refreshingly rewarding.

[@tiffanykimble3025]

I bet every mother felt seen on this moment. Give this woman a Nobel Prize!!!!

[@thairabullock6240]

🎯, you’re exactly right.

[@jillianbaker8442]

@@tiffanykimble3025 yes agree 200

[@shevoncoles8346]

It’s so true- our brains are always on go managing the invisible labor.

[@tigestfrew1632]

"Invisible labor" YESSSSSS. didnt now it has a name. Your podcast has a BIG message needed in these space. Keep this love called communication alive. 💌💌

[@WeDontAlwaysAgree]

Having a name for this is low key transformative! YES!

[@BeyondCoachingLLC]

If I could like this 1,000 times I would. She is spot on. Although my husband is hands on with our kids and household chores I would like to say that Invisible Labor is ongoing as we can never shut down our minds. By the way I had no clue there was a term for this kind of labor. Every day we learn something new about life.

[@WeDontAlwaysAgree]

It's really all of the mental work!

[@debbiep99]

TF?!!!! HOW DID I NOT KNOW THEY HAD THEIR OWN PODCAST!!!! I'M ABOUT TO BINGE ALL THEIR VIDEOS!!!!

[@petrinajones583]

110,000% agree so glad that y’all separated this portion out because yes a lot of women do understand. I’ve been married 29 years and didn’t know what that was called but it creates a lot of frustration. Thank God you guys are helping others through this.❤❤

[@WeDontAlwaysAgree]

Even just acknowledging that I am doing so much invisible labor goes such a long way!

[@Healing_on_a_bluecouch_]

Thank you for giving this a name... "invisible labor" is a real thing, even more so as a single parent even though there is a Co-parent helping. 😢😊

[@thairabullock6240]

I felt this in my entire being. As Ryan was explaining it, I was like…YESSSSS, that’s it, that’s what that is. Thank you for giving voice to this.

[@jillianbaker8442]

@@thairabullock6240 me too I have 3 kids

[@conniesmith7104]

This was articulated so well 👏🏾👏🏾 and yes we absolutely have your back sis

[@jamesmarieellison]

I love this straight-ass pod. My partner and I listen. It helps with the distance we are enduring at the moment. Keep up the good communication.

[@mizkk93]

Can I just say this also holds true to eldest daughter ✋🏿(me!). Although I’m not a mother, I am the person who has all the info and who people turn to for info(they could often find out or do themselves 😒). I’m always doing the work whether it be for my mom, grandma, sister, etc. And I get that bitterness, and that’s something I’m struggling with now. Trying to be better at setting boundaries to prevent feeling resentment.

[@mrsawitherspoon]

Because everybody else is steady filling their own cups and looking at you crazy when you explode. Ugh Bitter is definitely the right word.

[@sharetarippatoe371]

🙌🏾this...and same.

[@makiebahatton2628]

This is so very good! I don't think Men take into consideration the desire of Women to do or not do because many Men assume we as Women naturally love to shop, plan, execute, consider, and over-compensate and that's not true. I'm a Woman who hates shopping but I love to look good. I don't cook out of ultimatum or press but out of reason and practicality because I can't afford to eat out all the time rather I won't eat well if I eat out all the time. Yes, Sterling we're going to have Ryan's back on this one as I could hear the surprise and epiphany in your voice when she brought it to your attention and your voice tone was like oh okay wow I didn't even consider that. Way to communicate!

[@HisEssenceofLife]

We definitely have your back on this sis!!

[@laurentrusselltv]

This was amazing. No one ever talks about this.

[@npatriciacastillo6671]

So. Much. Yes. To. This. It's exhausting!

[@candycomb3326]

Yes! Spot on.

[@loismcdonald3512]

LISTEN!!! she just preached a whole word!!!

[@LadyDab]

You done said a whole entire word. Want to versus have to labor in raising littles and who gets which is a whole conversation.

[@mrsoliver515]

Yes!!!!! She articulated this PERFECTLY!!!

[@angelaedmonds5460]

When I tell you this is full facts! Invisible labor is DRAINING

[@jillianbaker8442]

YES

[@Allthingsworktogether1125]

It has a name! Remember that episode of the Holden Girls when Dorothy was sick, and she went to a few doctors who dismissed her and told her to get her hair done and buy a new outfit. Then she went to another doctor who diagnosed her. How validated she felt to know her illness had a name and was documented. This is how I feel. Even trying to explain the gravity of what constantly thinking on this level does to a mind and body. This needs to be explored and explained a lot more. ❤ Update: I see the exploration has already taken place The Netflix documentary Fair Play, based on Eve Rodsky's book of the same name, highlights the burden of invisible labor on women

[@WeDontAlwaysAgree]

YES! YES! A THOUSAND TIMES, YES! You described it perfectly...

[@mrsawitherspoon]

Ohhh, hadn’t heard of the documentary. Going to watch it asap.

[@jillianbaker8442]

This hit hard soooooo true

[@connietyson9813]

Love having a name for it. This is so exact. This hit the nail on the head!!

[@charissemackey328]

Perfectly said.🎉

[@b.abouttowwn]

I do not have children, but this resonated because there are tasks that seem to be relegated to me just because I am a woman/wife. However, I reject a lot of it and voice that I am not available. It can be overwhelming to keep information stored in your head about your partner and his family. Or simply being called on to figure things out. It is mentally exhausting. I will say that when I voiced these concerns, my husband understood and did better. Conversely, I find that some women are responsible for their own labor because they feel like it is up to them to do all the things. I have friends who actively take on everything as if they don't trust their spouses.

[@mistyhopson570]

YES!!!! Thank you for articulating this perfectly!!! This has been my experience not only with our children in their early years but even now ( our youngest daughter is 22 )my husband thinks I should CONTINUE to do all the things for her!!! Btw we have 4 kids ages 29,27,22,15 🤨

[@deirdreparker6961]

I shared this with my mom's group. Immediate co-sign for us all. The ticker tape parade is such a great visual!! YES! Ryan. THANK YOU!!! :)

[@WeDontAlwaysAgree]

Thanks for sharing!!

[@RobinZK67]

OMGOODNESS!!!! Yes! Yes! Speak on it Ryan! We got your back frfr!!! Invisible Labor…

[@CradleKids]

This was so good! The entire video, really! However, Michelle you ATE with this clip🤎 Love yall!

[@MariJohn1267]

💯

[@rholloway717]

You right. You are appreciated. You are equipped for your role which is a blessing 😊

[@WeDontAlwaysAgree]

I appreciate that 💛 and YOU ARE TOO!

[@mrsawitherspoon]

All facts!!! And these people (the folks that live in our homes) have the absolute audacity to be put off when you are irritable or just need a mini bc you’re about to combust. Sometimes I can’t even complete a coherent sentence bc my brain is so chock full of ALL THE THINGS. 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@thecramptons]

Wow, this is true

[@nkechiodukwe492]

Hello Dear, here watching and supporting my fellow content creators, thanks for posting this content, here to encourage you to keep going, keep pushing forward, thumbs up and blessing to you

[@CLaw-ne5mi]

Yes my wonderful and beautiful wife plans our trips , and birthday parties. She makes her appointments and the our 2 daughters appointments. I drive trucks for a living so stopping to call and make appointments are a bit difficult for me and I don’t take anything from my wife, she is absolutely wonderful. Now I’m speaking for myself and not all men I can do everything around our house, cook , clean take care of our 2 daughters. If it’s homework picking up our kids or dropping them to and from school as a man I do it. My wife had 2 C-sections with our kids, one was 18 months and the baby was just born I took off of work 3 weeks each time we had a baby. I have sisters a mother and she had a mom and sister but it was ME who was talking care of 2 babies while my wife was recovering from both C-sections. I also work 6 days a week every week, Christmas is the only day I have off , yes I do have sick days and personal days but I try to save my days incase I have to stay home with one or both of my kids if they aren’t feeling well, doctors appointments I also take them just ME AND MY 2 kids. The 1 and only thing that I’m unable and can’t do is go in labor and have a baby, but everything else that’s required or needed at my house I can do it. So HELL NO i can’t relate to anything this woman is talking about. WHEN MY WIFE GETS HOME FROM WORK ALL SHE HAS TO DO IS SHOWER 🧼 EAT AND LAY DOWN. So please forgive me if I can’t relate to anything she’s saying. My wife goes out with her friends I don’t call her, and me and my daughters have daddy and daughter time, birthday parties I’ll take them by myself because they are both of our kids. I’ll sit down and help take one of my daughter’s braids out while my wife does our other daughter’s hair. I wash and fold, and put away all of my clothes and my daughter’s clothes . I walk the dog at 4:30am so my wife doesn’t have to go outside that early in the morning. So tell me again about this invisible labor.

[@CeceWestside]

Wow ❤ that's a word invisible labor

[@phiwife]

Yes! Yes! Married 22 years and yes!!!

[@Mitfit4lyfe]

Yessss and the people who don't get it, have NO PROBLEM piling on more invisible labor.

[@WeDontAlwaysAgree]

Listennnnnnnn, it's so important to acknowledge it! Truly can 180 everything 💛

[@bencromwell707]

Another Great Podcast Episode🫶

[@saphahmelkisedek9762]

Household Planner .... I refuse to hokd all of that in my head by myself. I have a planner, my kids check my planner and discuss where they can add what they want.

[@connietyson9813]

Completely agree 100%

[@buckydowney7906]

YES YES... this is 100% true.

[@kambraia]

FACTS 💯

[@bigl7752]

soo true omgg!

[@tracylewis2460]

Have your back 100%.

[@shannongreen712]

No lies detected.

[@pattymcsnackers]

THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!! 🥹🥹

[@remyhendrixx]

This is delusion

[@lindseyj2984]

I feel seen 🥹🙌🏾