THE WORST CHRISTMAS GIFTS EVER (VERY FUNNY)

[@TheDickeyDinesShow]

be sure to go like our facebook page so you can make it into a future video

[@thebear1441]

The DickeyDines Show bet

[@nerdbashingtime1536]

Is it just me or has dickey lost a gaping dickhole amount of weight?!

[@fenderrayner3137]

The DickeyDines Show koo

[@NOTSERP69]

DO CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY

[@shelby4940]

Dickey you make jared laugh more than anybody lol

[@werewolfcooties6923]

I got SUPER GOOD guitar strings... for my violin.

[@Aarthurnax]

werewolfcooties where's the problem? Improvise. Adapt. Overcome

[@brennonramsey9183]

I once got viola strings for my violin, and then I got 4 A stings instead of a set the next year, those were rough times lol

[@werewolfcooties6923]

Brennon Ramsey: They were so close... yet so far

[@kegfoster6021]

I feel that in my bones

[@Geekiepoo]

@@kegfoster6021 is it enough to make your systems blow?

[@svinjamaria]

“You can’t buy meth at a target” Well, at least not IN a target

[@cheshirecynic4524]

And scuzzy drug dealers will typically take food stamps and gift cards, at less than face value of course

[@MrJizzinmypantz]

@@cheshirecynic4524Sounds like you watch too many movies. Food stamps have not been a physical thing for almost 20 years and you would get smacked for trying to trade a gift card for anything but a lil bit of weed from a teenager.

[@chillierspore8786]

no one says anything about BEHIND a target

[@noktyrnylblayze7058]

@@cheshirecynic4524 yeah I'm surprised they didn't know that

[@trevorbohn8020]

Here in the great state of Indiana, you absolutely can buy meth IN a target

[@phantomlord91]

We once stole lighters all year from a buddy, put them in a shoe box and wrapped it up in duct tape and gave it to him on Xmas. His reaction was priceless.

[@terrafirma1849]

how the fuck does austin always have a story for everything that comes up, this is Austin's channel at this point

[@tomboomeronacrv]

Terra Firma here's this channel in a nutshell: *Austin says something relatively humorous-ish. Jared dies of laughter for the ump-trillionth time*

[@spicybean2004]

@@tomboomeronacrv to be fair, who wouldn’t die of laughter from the shit Austin says?

[@tomboomeronacrv]

@@spicybean2004 4 years later you're probably still right

[@spicybean2004]

@@tomboomeronacrv yee, Austin is always funny and Jarbes has his moments

[@Jesusguitars14]

Dickey's grandma sounds like quite a character.

[@alchemist3661]

Dickey's *family*

[@lodke1697]

@@alchemist3661 dude I thought I was the only one who watch this old video.Been binge watching this channel for quite a while lol

[@robertogtr9159]

@@lodke1697 his comment is from two years ago tho

[@alchemist3661]

@@robertogtr9159 Not mine. Mine was 3 weeks.

[@robertogtr9159]

@@alchemist3661 oh sorry I didn't see the tag ✌🏼

[@milan4632]

my older sister had a miscariage last year (in november) and then my brother gave her a dying fetus shirt as a christmas- gift.

[@bunnyvesper6824]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

[@chrissafford5210]

That's fucking funny yo

[@AB-vn2jc]

Jake Pinnick are you the baby

[@stacksack6060]

Milan Bausch have u seen death metal wiggles? its super funny

[@lillythepone2994]

Epic

[@virgillewis6240]

In eighth grade my choir class was doing this secret Santa thing and I told the teacher I didn’t want to do it. She was asking everyone what they wanted so the people who bought gifts would know what to buy. As a joke I raised my hand and said “all I want for Christmas is a can of tomato soup.” Everyone laughed but when we got gifts I actually got a can of tomato soup from my teacher. I thought it was one of the best things that a teacher has ever done

[@zackovalltrades760]

I wish my teachers were that cool.

[@virgillewis6240]

ZackOvAllTrades but it’s weird because I hate that teacher but I will always love that moment

[@denverwilliams22]

I asked my grandma for a drum practice pad, and she got me one of those cheap ass electronic kid drum sets with plastic sticks.

[@citizenerased174]

Denver Williams Thats why you ask Grandmas for gift cards lol

[@hytellus]

oof, i hope this doesnt happen to me, but ive already got a practice pad

[@purpleknight1396]

Ive been asking my family for sheet music, I hope I don’t get marry had a little lamb.

[@zac3126]

Denver Williams Least you got something for Christmas? Millions of kids get nothing. Grow up. You sound shallow and selfish.

[@About90]

zac You sound dense

[@LaurenLillianHaggerty]

YES! I made it into a Dickey Dines video! For the record, I snapped my knee whilst still on the bounce house, No idea how but it sounded like a tree branch snapping! Also, my brother ended up getting the scooter since I had to go through 6 months of physiotherapy 😂

[@kat2513]

Lawren Haggerty yours was my favorite oml 😂❤

[@KenoxProductions]

That sounds horrible. I feel bad for you...

[@LaurenLillianHaggerty]

Kat On High Thanks xD It was a complete slap in the face considering I had a cast from the top of my thigh to my toes so I had to bump down the stairs on my butt behind everyone else lol

[@LaurenLillianHaggerty]

KenoxProductions It's cool, worse things have happened :P I got to have people run around after me in school, all the people I hated in school had to run and get me lunch etc 😂 It had it's perks!

[@manray9275]

Lawren Haggerty one time I broke my foot on a bounce house when i landed on it weird. Bounce castles aren't as soft as people think!

[@northb3384]

After not getting me anything for ten years my aunt who is also a drug dealer got me a calendar that had a definition of a different word on each day. I found out later that her thought process was "he's smart, smart people like dictionaries right?"

[@athanh219]

Fuck that, if my aunt was a dealer I'd ask for weed 😂

[@cortlandgoff674]

My grandma bought me a Custom shop telecaster.....soooooo.....grandparents aren't always off base haha

[@sethharris2112]

Cortland Goff ill trade you 😂My grandparents buy me a box of cereal and weird 70s button up shirts every year.

[@luccaburaglia9094]

@Cortland Goff holy shit your grandmother knows whats up

[@corygoff9996]

Jesus Christ man!

[@guitarcoverz9289]

Holy shit I asked for a guitar once and I got a ukelele. My grandparents were like "what do you think?" I didnt have the heart to tell them that guitars have six strings, not four. 😂😂

[@hibro2596]

Cortland Goff My grandma just got me a Gojira shirt. Not to mention, my favorite album! It was the From Mars To Sirius 10th Anniversary shirt.

[@boneless9305]

I work at target i can confirm even tho I don't work in pharmacy there is an 87.4% chance we don't sell meth

[@keryadugger1092]

If you sell Adderall then yes you do

[@iaminsane2140]

There is a Wal-Mart down the road from my dad's house that was caught making meth in the backroom. I work at a different Wal-Mart, but I gotta say. Target is killing it.

[@yeemonster6426]

What the fuck is the other %23

[@cheshirecynic4524]

What the fuck is up with your math skills? 12.6%

[@yeemonster6426]

Cheshire Cynic I have bad math skills bro

[@dragonbalance7700]

I swear every episode of these guys brings me to tears with laughter. Love you guys.

[@joeysalinas8056]

This is why whenever I make a Christmas list, I put links instead of descriptions so they can just order it online

[@citizenerased174]

Joey Lara Smart.....very smart

[@fisherbenson2670]

I make wishlists on various online stores and email them to my family

[@purpleknight1396]

My mom and her sisters have a group chat for the kids’ wishlists and we all know better than to only send pictures. We only send links and tell them about offers in stores because they mostly don’t buy anything if it’s not on sale.

[@thejamman4070]

Joey Lara same here.

[@gorkaaustin5306]

Joey Lara Same, how it works with my family is that we just tell each other what we want and we all order it via Amazon prime or some other medium. That way no one is disappointed

[@RevsStallionDuck]

I think this video has my favorite intro so far 😂

[@kegfoster6021]

best intro yet

[@TheHahaman23]

Josh is a bum smuggler

[@skr-dy7bc]

my aunt has gotten me shaving razors for the past 3 years.. i've had a beard for the past 2 lol

[@dpchiko17]

She wants you to shave it

[@tony_______]

Ryan Kurnik I think that’s a hint

[@chookypatootie]

A way to start the day before finals, yes

[@thebear1441]

Alexis Villadelgado Glad to see a gal watching the same goofy ass shit as me 😂

[@tomekgnr321]

Dicky is so funny omg

[@tomboomeronacrv]

Tomislav Gredisnjak excuse you. It's Dickey*

[@BrokenGodEnt]

SupernovaTaamsay Emily Dickens*

[@michaelfortress3119]

@@BrokenGodEnt Dickenson*

[@gabharri910]

*Dickerson

[@mikebarnes7441]

@@Tunkkis Dicksonsington

[@mxtoiletparty]

23:01 what the hell Austin xDD You sounded like a bear cub dying.

[@donglord6970]

MR.TOILETPARTY It made me *HARD*

[@dylanwilson1615]

The magnum part and Austin's Fucking acting honestly made me scream laughing and crying at the same time just because of how funny it was, thank you cause I haven't laughed like that in years honestly and Evan though it's 7am UK time the laugh was well worth it.

[@nickbonneau7330]

That 3-way popcorn tin barrel is so true. We only ate the caramel corn and left the rest to sit until next winter hahaha

[@RetroIsaac]

Dude I eat everything but the caramel. Those tins are pretty dope though.

[@Mr.Maritime]

Isaac you guys need to spend Christmas together. In our house, the cheese goes first then the caramel and butter. I like the caramel the least, but I got bad teeth.

[@BIGBURT]

One year all my cousins got like 100 dollars and all I got was axe body spray and I was like are you trying to tell me I stink

[@wormhistoryhour5]

You should probably shower more

[@jcoan2]

my dad is a fire fighter. his dad (my grandpa) wanted to get him a gift that showed him that he was proud or something. my dad was completely stumped as to what it was when was holding a small but heavy gift. so was my family. my grandma and grandpa weren't there to see his reaction. the disbelieving look on my dads face while holding an utterly useless statue of a fire hydrant was priceless.

[@christina_96]

Dickey's shirt just reminded me I have a Cognitive neuroscience final tomorrow 😅👌🏻

[@NeoCawte]

Did you do well on the test

[@andrewmcgee6357]

Yeah I need to know

[@christina_96]

Yes I did lol I’m a college grad now 😄

[@jaybarbieri8619]

@@christina_96 Ayyyeeee congratulations!

[@janianomicon7849]

I want to make a show where all the laugh tracks are Jared laughing at Austin

[@sonnyo365]

Family: "So what do you want for christmas?" Guy: [slaps table] [snorts] "F*@king mustard."

[@C_Wheeler00]

"Are the Tulips ready"

[@Mark-ix4zt]

3:53 Austin: "Oh i don't think this is mine, and she's like Oh shit..." Jared: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA". Jared laughs at everything Austing says. That's actually so funny🤣

[@JoshRiffMonster]

Why do grandmas send bad gifts? Well, mine, she gifted me a guitar so, I don't understand xD

[@MotivGuy94]

Josh RiffMonster can't relate all mine died before i was 3 lol

[@damiano2641]

dude same here

[@we_are_nevertheless7305]

Mine gives me like $100 every year and I hate it but love it. She doesn’t need to be giving me that much

[@19ThreeLions97]

Josh RiffMonster well my grandparents got me some erotic (well, porn) novels These were disguised as some pirate adventure novels, I think they didnt read whats written in them But i didnt really mind as 11yo kid xd

[@19ThreeLions97]

Short Tom thinking of grandparents?? yo i aint that level of a fuck up

[@cheshirecynic4524]

Actually, a homeless person could buy meth with a target gift card. I once lived with a drug dealer for a few months, and saw all sorts of stuff traded for drugs. Food stamps and gift cards are pretty common currency in the poor-person's world...

[@madamebkrt]

My grandparents got my sister and I, for our 14th birthday, an outdoor playset. "Ages 3 - 5" it said on the box...We hid that in the closet and I believe it is still there to this day.

[@thraftofcaanan281]

Considering toilet paper is a valuable resource, I would be super excited for that like socks or pants

[@aaronblock4829]

My grandma gives us the receipt of a 10 dollar dontation to kids in need for each of us

[@sirzack0002]

Aaron Block I mean.. you didn't get anything.. but it's not the worst, right?

[@hUnt94]

this should be a radio show

[@AWolf_Soul]

My mom got me a box of Froot Loops for Christmas once. I thought it was a gag gift, but it wasn't. She said, "Well you like Froot Loops!"

[@ROCMuzik]

2017 Jared looks about 10 years younger than 2020 Jared.

[@Frrarii]

Once i got a toilet paper roll with Santas on it from my grandma

[@RoachDoggJr2112]

Funny thing about the popcorn tins- We used to get those for my grandfather every Christmas. He absolutely LOVED them. He's probably the only person in the world who genuinely enjoyed them.

[@luccaburaglia9094]

Man, i love those tin cans with pop-corn inside it, everyone in my house does. I personally love the actual tin cans themselves because of how nostalgic they are.

[@lilithgraff5954]

My mom told my step dad if she got a washer and dryer for Christmas that she would kill him, so he spent hours searching for little tiny washer and dryers and spent like $50 and gave them to her, they still sit on one of our shelves.

[@blainleinart8598]

5:03 I'm an older brother and that is SO accurate.

[@jakepat8603]

Dude legit the first dialogue you guys had and I'm fucking dying.

[@marcolamagra9419]

14:35 I fell off my chair.

[@santa3114]

I got face wash and my brother got a Nintendo switch... tHaNkS dAd

[@charlesthiery6705]

Oh man, I wished my grandma got me a toaster

[@aslanobrien7618]

Austin: **says anything** Jared:HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[@fatboysgarage7984]

The worst Christmas gift I was supposed to get, but never did was a box of chocolate flavored condoms. It turns out my grandparents decided to try them out and there wasn't a single one left. The worst part is they went into detail about what they did and my lesbian aunt nearly fainted because she couldn't handle hearing about her straight parents sex life.

[@Nathanthepleb]

I was that other guy that you mentioned that got the expensive pen, and that was also a grandma gift haha I'm also triggered you didn't screenshot it 😂

[@livingdeadgirl275]

Boom

[@kairs621]

No you weren’t......

[@stlperson]

Now toilet paper is the perfect gift

[@FickleBlueDeaf]

"that's a lot of mustard" GOOD OBSERVATION AUSTIN

[@idahay3078]

"I thought it was a toy train set" LMAO

[@The_Mister_E]

God that scenario in the intro would be the funniest football dudebro dad moment ever

[@JImArgyris]

The guy with the amp must have been playing Van Halen.You know eruption 😏

[@TheAllisterMac]

When I was little my parents owned a small sock factory and it was well known that one thing I had an endless supply of was socks and yet one year I got socks from my Grandmother, aunt, three cousins and an uncle, all unironically and not gag gifts.

[@MattMeidenbauer]

That intro with Jared's laugh gets me every time

[@larzostrander2233]

This year, my cousin got a drone, and I got towels

[@iismrteffwillardda1625]

The grandma head shake got me 😂

[@Kuba16BVB]

"Well the Nothing was a good one" 🤣👌

[@guts2657]

Be the friend to give your friends the weird and shitty gifts. Cause its YOUR gift they're gonna talk about

[@TheFourBrothers18]

*stoned to the bone*

[@tatetm2809]

13:53 The Phantom Cougher

[@saltylemon4436]

My grandparents have it down for christmas, they just send me and my brothers money, they know what's up.

[@somerandomguy4760]

Does your mom say shell hold it for you

[@codybaker5290]

My sister asked me what I wanted for Christmas, me being a smartass and not really knowing I said a piece of cheese. Christmas comes and I have one little square gift from her, I open it and it’s a slice of cheese...Then my other gifts come out but I give her props for going through with the joke

[@christinax6769]

Mine was a bottle of wine.I AM A STRAIGHTEDGE

[@alexandroskantilanaftis4117]

Christina X lmfao suck it up and drink edgy person

[@deglyspiderfang7945]

My father and his two brothers regift a fruitcake every year. They’ve been doing that since the late 80s.

[@Buzz1227]

Dickey : " yeah here you go (happy) christmas"

[@masonsinchak990]

Austin said “my grandpa died in front of me” then had a quick flash back ☠️☠️☠️

[@Kate-vk7hv]

It turns out my life is not so bad.

[@eenayde]

Why is his laugh so violent

[@bellylomeli3768]

I got a roll of toilet paper wrapped in christmas wrapping paper. Then one day ran out and finally opened it and there was a dollar in the roll. Haha. Thanks auntie

[@donovanbarr5134]

I asked for an electric guitar, but I got this fake plastic one with 4 multicolored strings and a giant pic from Toys R US. In hindsight, it wasn't a bad gift.. but I was kind of expecting a real guitar lol

[@Halo3machenima]

About the condom thing. My mother got me some condoms before because apparently that is what awkward parents do when their son "comes of age". Funny thing is, she got me magnums. I could barely stop myself from laughing. I was thinking "Does she really think its that big?" funny thing is though, she was somehow right.

[@juanmarin9484]

How does she know? 😓

[@juanmarin9484]

She probably sneaks in at night to look at your lil weeny😂

[@spicybean2004]

That’s fucking funny

[@guitarmichael]

Are the tulips ready tho?

[@NoGraphicsGaming]

When they mentioned the homemade and that blew up within a week I thought of when Cory Taylor exploded in the music video for "the devil in I" by Slipknot

[@komraderymcdermott5903]

LEGO’s when you’re 28? Never too old for LEGO

[@memebigboy1946]

The worst Christmas gift I've ever gotten was a HOW TO KAZOO book from my Grandma. I don't play kazoo. I don't know how to play kazoo. I've never wanted to play kazoo. She got it for me because I said i played the recorder in which she heard kazoo.

[@RetroIsaac]

Sounds like a good time to pick up the Kazoo honestly.

[@stephd7029]

It did hurt, but shit happens.

[@maxmiller784]

Stephanie Baggett they read it while I was reading your comment. My grandma got me long underwear. While she knows I'd never wear that thing

[@c.e.f4916]

Max Miller I read it at the exact same time 😁😉😁

[@maxmiller784]

Well holy smokes that's a coincidence 😛

[@StalwartSpartan298]

**tells the child the toaster is a bath toy**

[@Zeees_world]

Ive actually got towels for Christmas once. 😂 And on a different occasion ive got a bar of soap😂

[@ElectroNinjaHD]

There was some video where a guy on a motorcycle was giving out $20 Burger King gift cards to homeless people.

[@michaeldeclet1667]

10:10 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 😂😂😂😂

[@Heavymetallord1]

One of our neighbors got his wife a bag of potting soil on their first Christmas together... shed gotten jewelry every Christmas since lol

[@tantibusking7095]

Lol the pedals one had the Boss metal zone popping into mind

[@stevenrogers1812]

I got socks one year which again isn't bad the only problem was that it was from a guy who I said hello to once at work 😬

[@tychovandonk2616]

Jared how tiny are you if you wear nothing but medium shirts xD

[@legeogame1611]

My whole family gets individual popcorn tins. Every year.

[@colinbrannon5659]

If Austin doesn't go in the metal hall of fame he can always be a comedian. Love his humor

[@plasticfork2187]

STORY GAMING I BEG OF U

[@Fvneral_moon]

dickeys getting so skinny

[@maggot-swarm8950]

TornPaperYoyo the dick needs girth

[@ThisIsGOKKAR]

Do you not watch Dining with Dickey? Long and thin is what they're looking for.

[@dereks6636]

TornPaperYoyo he's on drugs yup

[@ArkaeaFCL3]

He's been getting meth from target.

[@guitarsgaming1961]

90% of the noise that comes from Jared is him laughing

[@snowh1te208]

easily my favorite show

[@vengeance_falls_9610]

What band shirt is Austin wearing looks awesome!!!!!!

[@gregs1999]

Vengeance_Rises_96 cognitive

[@Dickey7861]

Vengeance_Falls_96 Cognitive! They are dope!

[@vengeance_falls_9610]

Dickey7861 I'll have to check them out! Thanks Austin!

[@DarkestofTimes]

I always ate the cheddar and regular and left the caramel... psssssssssssshhhhhhhhh

[@Eric-iu4dz]

Oh thank God, I thought I was the only one.

[@joeywong7562]

*playing bullet with butterfly wings when all of a sudden your amp explodes*

[@kaelanmcalpine2011]

Well since most of the video was about bad Grandma gifts, I think I should say that my grandparents came in clutch with probably the best of the three vinyls I got this year: Origin - Unparalleled Universe. Hell my parents probably couldn't find it despite our favorite bands and Origin all being on Nuclear Blast, and my mom also getting me two Overkill albums (My favorite: The Years of Decay, and the newest one; The Grinding Wheel).

[@no_peaches_8085]

came as early as i could apparently i didn't come early enough

[@shanestangle7322]

I love the popcorn:(

[@TheRCSoldier]

I once got three lava lamps in a row. I didn't even ask for a lava lamp

[@michaelshelton4450]

The mustard one sounds like a cards against humanity card